For DR.CLOVER: Government Essay Final Paper - Civil Rights Act 1964

Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019

Paper Title:

No. of Pages: 0

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: N/A

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: General, N/A

Paper Goals: This assignment touches base on the governmental impact of the Civil Rights Act

of 1964.

Proofing Summary:

Hello,

I’m Porter, your writing tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have provided some

suggestions which may help you revise your assignment. Please feel free to contact us through a 24/7 live writing

session with any follow-up questions or for any clarification.

Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Note that I have not proofread the

draft for minor errors, but rather, focused on larger concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at grammar

and punctuation, please use Grammarly: https://writingcenter.ashford.edu/grammarly

You have done a nice job of researching the Act and how it is still relevant today!

For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:

1. Thesis: Remember, including a thesis statement is vital to strengthening your paper. A thesis statement should be

placed as the last one or two sentences of your introduction paragraph. It is meant to provide a clear guideline of what

your paper will cover and should include the main points of your essay.

https://writingcenter.ashford.edu/writing-a-thesis

2. Paragraph development: You may want to make your paragraphs more concise and focused since they seem to have

more background information than needed to support your thesis. Try looking for areas where you go off-topic or have

already explained your point.

3. Academic Voice: Pay special attention to your choice of words when writing for an academic purpose. Avoid using

clichés and language that is too conversational. Try to use language that is specific, precise, and more formal. This does

not mean using long words, just words that are more polished. For more information and guidance on how to do this,

please see this resource:

http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/academic-voice

4. Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling: Before submitting this assignment, I suggest that you proofread and edit your paper

more closely. I suggest reading it aloud to yourself to catch all the little errors, and then running your paper through

Grammarly. Grammarly is a free proofreading and editing tool available to all university students. Grammarly flags

mistakes and helps you make sure your writing is clear and mistake-free.

Good luck in the course!

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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019

Be sure to edit the template to reflect your own information.

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Consider developing a clear thesis

statement to add to the end of your

introductory paragraph. The thesis

statement should clearly state the

purpose, argument or points that will

be made in the paper.

You may want to guide the audience

using effective wording to state the

purpose of this essay without

statements like “this paper” or “I will

discuss.” This also establishes

academic tone.

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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019

The only italics in your paper

should be for larger works'

titles or in direct quotations.

Some of the information in your

paper seems to have been

obtained from a source, yet you

have not cited a source. You must

provide an in-text citation any time

that you summarize, paraphrase,

or directly quote another person’s

words or ideas. For help on when

and how to do this, refer to this guide:

http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/citing-within-your-paper

It is unclear what your intended

meaning is in this sentence.

Make sure you address the

subject specifically so your

reader understands what you

are referencing.

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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019

If you are skimming and you notice

paragraphs that are one to four lines, there is

a good chance those paragraphs could use

some topic development.

It is helpful to add a variety to your

paper. Where you have multiple

single-subject sentences, see if you

can combine them into compound

sentences. This will help with flow.

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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019

You may want to make your

paragraphs more concise and focused

since they seem to have more

background information than needed

to support your thesis. Try looking for

areas where you go off-topic or have

already explained your point.

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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019

You may want to consider omitting

words which seem extraneous or

thinking of different ways to say the

same idea.

Be sure you are capitalizing

proper nouns.

You may consider reviewing the rules

for semicolons. A semicolon is used to

separate two closely related

independent clauses, provided they

are not already joined by a

coordinating conjunction. They can

also be used in place of commas to

separate items in a list, when the

elements of that list contain commas.

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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019

Before submitting this assignment, I

suggest that you proofread and edit

your paper more closely. I suggest

reading it aloud to yourself to catch all

the little errors, and then running your

paper through Grammarly. Grammarly

is a free proofreading and editing tool

available to all university students.

Grammarly flags mistakes and helps

you make sure your writing is clear

and mistake-free.

page 9 / 10

Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019

Be sure your References use DOI

numbers/journal names instead of

proxy URLs.

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