History
MISSISSIPPI GODDAM 1
Smarthinking Tutor Response Form
Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!
Hello, Angelly! I'm Jay E. I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!
*Writing Strength: Each body paragraph focuses on a specific supporting topic, thus allowing the reader to easily see what is being discussed. This allows you to develop one topic first before moving on to the next one, making the flow of the discussion organized. Good job!
*ANGELLY 5966775, you requested help with Main Idea/Thesis:
Your essay doesn’t have a thesis statement, so it’s not immediately clear where the discussion is going. The thesis statement, which is usually written at the end of the introduction, indicates the essay’s main idea and supporting topics, so it can be a summary of your answer to this question: What is the historical relevance of “Mississippi Goddam” by Nina Simone? Right now, you don’t have such an answer at the end of the introduction. Instead, the introduction ends with this sentence:
Later on, the song Mississippi Goddam was selected by the library of congress for preservation in the national recording registry for being aesthetically and culturally different (Feldstein, 2005).
But what is your argument regarding this? How will you support this argument? Let’s look at an example of a thesis statement from a similar essay:
In “God is a Woman,” Ariana Grande celebrates feminism by pointing out the accomplishments of women, appreciating their strength, and illustrating how they have the power to create life.
From this statement, we can see what the writer’s argument is as well as what topics she will discuss to support that argument. How can you write a more specific thesis statement for your essay, Angelly?
Organization Once you have a thesis statement, the next thing you need to do is to align the body paragraphs with the thesis statement. This means that the body paragraphs discuss the topics that support the main argument. So if, for example, the argument is that Grande’s song celebrates feminism, each body paragraph would focus on a specific reason mentioned in the thesis statement. I would then have an outline like this:
I. Introduction + thesis statement
II. “God is a Woman” points out the accomplishments of women.
III. The song appreciates the strength of women.
IV. The song illustrates the power of women to create life.
V. Conclusion
Each Roman numeral represents a paragraph, and notice how each paragraph is aligned with the topic mentioned in the thesis statement. Using this as guide and the thesis statement you will make, see if you can develop your topics in a way that is aligned with your thesis statement.
*ANGELLY 5966775, you requested help with Grammar & Mechanics:
Also, check for verb tense shifts. A verb tense shift happens when you use, say, the present tense in your essay, but then shift to the past tense. Generally, when talking about the past, we need to write in the past tense (e.g.: Zoe ate at a cafe in Paris.). However, it’s fine to use the present tense, say, to provide a sense of immediacy (e.g.: Zoe is eating at a cafe Paris when the asteroid strikes.). Such technique is called the historic present tense.
However, some parts in your essay use the present tense, and other parts are in the past tense even when referring to a similar context. Here’s a passage as an example:
This song reflected Nina Simone's growing inspiration to be part of the civil rights movement. However, the discordant upbeat indicates that the tune was not just lamenting about this sole incident but also a previous gunning down of a civil rights activist Medgar Evers, in Mississippi (Kernodle, 2008). In this song, she voiced distress and agony concerning all violent acts and oppression against black communities in the segregated South (Feldstein, 2005). Typically, she depicts that she was weaponizing the music itself.
Note how the verbs change from the past tense to the present tense despite referring to the song or to Simone singing the song. Do you want to use the past tense (focusing on when Simone sang or recorded this song at that particular moment), or do you want to use the present tense (focusing on the song and its message)? See if there are other similar issues in your essay.
Summary of Next Steps:
· Write a thesis statement at the end of the introduction.
· Align the body paragraph topics with the thesis statement.
· Check for verb tense shifts.
Thank you for submitting your essay for a review, Angelly. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day! ~ Jay E.
You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking Writer's Handbook .
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Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.
Mississippi Goddam by Nina Simone
Angelly Chala
American History since 1877
Bryan Wuthrich
6/13/2021
Mississippi Goddam by Nina Simone
Mississippi Goddam was and is one of the iconic jazz most controversial songs by Nina Simone due to her labeling it as her first civil rights song (Feldstein, 2005). [Use a special format to distinguish titles from the rest of your writing. For example, the APA, which you seem to be using, requires italicizing titles of freestanding or self-contained works such as books, magazines, newspapers, movies, TV shows, etc. On the other hand, titles of works that are part of longer works are enclosed in quotation marks. These include chapters, articles, short stories, songs, and poems. Which words in this sentence are parts of a title? How should you format them so that the reader can easily identify the phrase as a title?] Nina Simone wrote Mississippi Goddam, a protest song about racial injustice, in September 1963in under an hour, after four young girls in Birmingham, Alabama, died in a church bombing, a white supremacist terror attack that became known as the 16th street Baptist Church bombing (Feldstein, 2005). After the song was released as a single, it was banned in most places in the U.S due to the use of Goddam in the song title (Feldstein, 2005). Actually, there was footage of several boxes of records being destroyed in different places (Loudermilk, 2013). Later on, the song Mississippi Goddam was selected by the library of congress for preservation in the national recording registry for being aesthetically and culturally different (Feldstein, 2005).
This song reflected Nina Simone's growing inspiration to be part of the civil rights movement. However, the discordant upbeat indicates that the tune was not just lamenting about this sole incident but also a previous gunning down of a civil rights activist Medgar Evers, in Mississippi (Kernodle, 2008). In this song, she voiced distress and agony concerning all violent acts and oppression against black communities in the segregated South (Feldstein, 2005). Typically, she depicts that she was weaponizing the music itself.
The protest anthem Mississippi Goddam by Simone also addresses the generally sluggish pace of change and justice in America. She does this by pulling in the past and invoking in the present. Additionally, she talks of what is yet to come if America does not implement real social change. "I don't trust you anymore"/"You keep on saying, 'Go slow!" "Go slow!" / "But that's just the trouble" (Loudermilk, 2013). [Avoid dropping quotes. Dropped quotes are those that are placed in the middle of a discussion without integrating them into the flow of the sentences. For example, this quote here just “appears” in the middle of the paragraph. One way to address this is to write a signal phrase that identifies the speaker (e.g. According to Smith (2021)…; Smith (2021) said…). How can you integrate this quote properly?] These are a few examples in the song that asserts that, indeed, Simone was worried about the slow pace of change and justice. This was undoubtedly true because justice for the four girls who died and other victims and the community affected by the Baptist church's event was agonizingly slow (Feldstein, 2005). For example, one of the perpetrators involved in the incident was convicted 14 years later after the attack, and while two others were not jailed until over 38 years later, while the fourth one died before justice was served (Loudermilk, 2013).
Nina continued to use Mississippi Goddam during the heights of the civil rights movement to reflect the subsequent events. For example, while she was at the Ellen show, she changed the song's second line to "St. Augustine made me lose my rest," referring to another civil rights protest in Florida (Feldstein, 2005). Similarly, when she went to Montgomery in Alabama in 1965 to entertain activists who made it from Selma to the capital city after a brutal encounter on the town's Edmund Pettus bridge, she changed the second line to "Selma made me lose my rest" to appreciative cheers (Loudermilk, 2013). A year later, at the Newport Jazz Festival, she cited another trouble spot "Watts made me lose my rest," implying the riots in the tense Los Angeles neighborhood (Kernodle, 2008). Also, in 1968 as she performed on Long Island after Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr was assassinated, she changed the second line to "Memphis made me lose my rest," and this time she stopped at the middle of the song and asked the audience to join her in singing if at all the song moved them at all and the audience roared in approval (Feldstein, 2005).
In the song, Simone expresses her frustrations for years of oppression whereby she uses phrases like "hound dogs on my trail" and "school children sitting in jail" as well as the common credo to "Go slow!" (Loudermilk, 2013). She uses these metaphorical words to profile the American history of institutionalized racism, inequality as well as lack of opportunity. [How does the phrase "hound dogs on my trail" in particular illustrate racism and inequality? What do the hound dogs symbolize?] Decades later, the song remains significant as similar issues like those addressed in the song still are prevalent in contemporary America. For example, police brutality, hiring, voting, and housing discrimination are still common for minority groups (Kernodle, 2008). This justifies Simone's anger and anguish for the delayed justice when it comes to cases involving minorities. Additionally, it shows that there is little change that can be identified within different systems in America to mitigate racism, discrimination, and oppression (Kernodle, 2008).
In years later, the song Mississippi Goddam by Nina Simone becomes the barometer of Nina's moods whereby, sometimes, she contended while other times she was angry and troubled, especially in the case of Montreal in 1980 (Skaller, 2019). She started Mississippi Goddam as initially composed, but years later, she improvised the song as she had composed this song at a personal anger and anguish moment. Nina's incisive lyrics still resonate decades later, offering both a gauge of racial progress and a history lesson as well as a timeless plea that appears at the prescription near the end of the song that says that "You don't have to live next to
me/Just give me my equality"(Skaller, 2019)
References
Feldstein, R. (2005). "I Don't Trust You Anymore": Nina Simone, Culture, and Black Activism in the 1960s. The Journal of American History, 91(4), 1349-1379.
Kernodle, T. L. (2008). "I Wish I Knew How it Would Feel to be Free": Nina Simone and the Redefining of the Freedom Song of the 1960s. Journal of the Society for American Music, 2(3), 295-317.
Loudermilk, A. (2013). Nina Simone & the Civil Rights Movement: protest at her piano, audience at her feet. Journal of International Women's Studies, 14(3), 121-136.
Skaller, S. (2019). The Protest Music of Nina Simone and Buffy Sainte-Marie: Trauma, Gender-Based Violence, and Minority Feminisms. McGill University (Canada).