Revise my essay

Attached is a file with comments on your midterm paper. I don’t actually need to confirm who the original

reader was, since I find myself agreeing with their assessment.

I think the main reason for marking down the essay is due to the fact that it does not address the

assignment prompt. You might ask yourself where you lay out the different types of audio-visual content

presented in the film. For example, where do you mention that there is, in addition to footage of a meeting

and of a road blockade, voice-over narration and direct sound? You could also try and see if you can

pinpoint where in this essay you outline the different sections into which the documentary might be logically

divided. Where do you say directly that there are three major segments, including an introduction and

conclusion that focus on the meeting and a body segment that takes place at the blockade? Where do you

explain how that long middle section can be further broken up into a sequence of individual self-contained

episodes?

So, those were the two main tasks that the prompt set for students and papers that didn’t seem to engage

with them were generally marked B- or C+. Because your paper does briefly draw attention to some

notable formal features, such as nonlinear narration and tonal contrast, the original reader probably felt that

they wanted to give you some extra points for having made an effort to look closely at the film.