500+ word prompt 5

Playing football has been such a preoccupation for me throughout my life. Actually at some points I do imagine that I could be a professional footballer and earn huge chunks of money from it. All my leisure time and part of my productive times have been deliberately dedicated to football, going to the pitch to practice new dribbling techniques, attending all friendly matches, just watching the game, supporting other footballers and all other activities that revolve around this game. I spend a lot of my resources until I feel sometimes that I have either become extravagant or I have been addicted to football if at all it is addictive. Buying jerseys, purchasing playing boots, travelling to all the capital stadiums and supporting everything that goes into football has almost plunged me into bankruptcy in the past two years. However, one thing that sucks me to the core is the reality that I am really suck at football despite all the effort I direct into it. I often flail whenever I try to challenge my marker or when I attempt any dribble. Sometimes I lose control of the ball or pass it the wrong direction to the opponent. Occasionally I have fallen down and rolled like a dislodged car tire in the field as I try to pursue the ball. I have caused numberless penalties and free kicks to my teams especially when I try to head the ball and find myself boosting my efforts with my hands. But comically, because I believe that I am such a good player, whenever I cause a handball penalty I never even realize it until the strict and keen referee blows the whistle. But the worst experience that strongly engraved the reality of my being suck at football is the several instances I have scored in our own goal, and you know how much jeer follows it especially from the fans and the spectators amidst the mocking celebration by the opponent for a goal they never worked for. I feel bad in such moments. The question that often lingers in my mind is why should I continue with my passion in football when at my best am so bad at it? In my noisy mind and my dreams I play like Messy yet in the pitch I am such a messy player. And yet nobody tells me how bad I am at football maybe because those around me are not mean, abusive or malicious but they are cheerful and always want me to maintain the fallacy that my efforts are not frantic anyway. According to Rae (2014) self-awareness is very important, and it has always put the onus of the reality on me and I have accepted the challenge. When I read an article by Kallola (2015), I got all the reasons not to give up. His emphasis that being suck at something often acts as a cocksure remedy and leads us to a better place, was a significant buoy to my spirit. Again according to Weiss (2011), through the experience of trying and failing and trying again significantly boosts our empathy. From the multitudinous experiences I have gained in playing football and continuing to do it without losing neither faith nor focus, I strongly concur with Kallola (2015) in his assertion that failing is quite okay and is a kind of relief that if we accept and persevere, can provide a sure recipe of finding acceptance in trying and getting relief from the success imperative (Rae, 2014). In addition to that, if we become patient with our own selves we become more resourceful to others as well as ourselves. I am sure I do better in football everyday than the previous day. Reference Kallola, V. (2015). It's okay to fail my son. New Delhi: Bennett Coleman & Co. Ltd., New Delhi: Distributed by Times Group Books Rae, T. (2014). Developing emotional literacy with teenagers: Building confidence, self-esteem and self-awareness. London: SAGE Publications Ltd Weiss, A. G. (2011). Change happens: When to try harder and when to stop trying so hard. Lanham, Md: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.