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Hopefully you received some helpful critiques of your paper by your group members today. I have read over your paper as well. I've emailed you a copy of my edits. There are comments on the left column too, so make sure to read those. A few general things: Try to re-organize your paper a bit. Combine everything that talks about natural catastrophes in one paragraph, have another paragraph on the power of the pharaoh, and a paragraph on the afterlife. Right now, your paper jumps around a bit. Also- please do not use any outside sources. Only use your textbook, lecture notes, and primary source reader.

Your paper has a lot of really good background information but is completely missing primary source evidence. (An example from the textbook or lectures is fine, but this is not primary source evidence). This is the most important aspect of your paper. Each paragraph should have a bit of introductory information about the topic, then follow that up with evidence to support the topic, then an analysis of that evidence to further illuminate the topic. If you have any questions about this, please let me know.

Citations- Make sure to follow the guide on Canvas.