10 pages essay for ATH 301 course

Racial Discrimination in an intercultural Community Hoachuan Tang, Bohao Cui & Hyejoo Lee I especially like the format structure of the essay and the rhetoric in play, good choices. The problem that I am able to gather is one of racial discimination - specifically stereotyping & profiling. As well as the necessity of a community to identify and understand cultural differences. Proactive thesis: Racical discrimination via profiling & stereotyping in the U.S. Defended by statements proposing reasoinging to racical discimination, however, the defense if a macro look into the matter. Specifics are not effectively used and more clarification of statements using said examples or course concepts would be good. Literature review is identified as the methodology- through which one a case study is briefly mentioned. I suggest using the case study more, disseting the it to add more direct content rather than 'general statements about racial discrimination'. The case study should be mentioned towards the beginning/ The cultural aspects discussed give a good view of how culture can affect one's existence in society. American discrimination as the background- racially- there are other forms of discrimination not being contextualized: gender & sexuality and religious. Even though not the direct topic of the paper- the ways in which the institution enacts racist policies also affects the other intersectionalities of people. There are more ways that ethnic & racial discrimination are enacted than through steoretyping and profiling, two prominent ways that that people engage in it - but not the only ones. What are the notions that confine ethnicity & race? "As it has been stated" - is a little strong. Consider changing to something like "Moreover". What parts of discrimination will be "meted out on the minority group" - also, please provide clarification on what is meant by "meted". Please define what is meant by racial discrimination, profiling, and stereotyping; for the purposes of this essay it is important to clearly define the parameters of the intercultural interactions being described. " the movement of the Black Lives Matter fighting against the killing of the African American Males on suspicion of being criminals." if a movement is being used, especially this movement then I think it would be good to consider expanding on "suspicion of being criminals" -- not all of the cops who have taken the life of an innocent Black person has done so out of this "suspicion". In American history there are cases of discrimination based of religion, not just race or ethnicity- any discrimination that occurs exemplifies the differences between minority groups & majority groups. The Social relations provided are limited and can be expanded upon using course concepts. Questions regarding implementations & courses of actions: How will you prepare the teachers and administrators to implement these changes? How will it be ensured? What standards are being used? Is there a federal standard? Or state one? Please research the American school system to adequately contextualize the applications of the suggested actions.

Please consider paring down the general statements used and add specific examples and/ course concepts. Overall I think the topic is a little too broad and could use narrowing through focus on the case study & specific examples explained through course concepts. I like the direction that this paper is going. Please consider adding a conclusion paragraph.