English Essay

Prewriting Process Analysis: Standard Feedback

Pass:

Thank you for your submission and hard work! You’re ready to move on to the formal

essay. Before you start drafting your essay, you should

1. Review the exam instructions in your study materials online.

2. Apply the feedback I’ve included above.

3. Use the Process Analysis worksheet in your study materials online to organize your ideas.

Keep in mind, there is a distinct difference between the process assignments. For this prewriting you focused on developing your ideas on the topic: in the first paragraph, you wrote a description of what is happening in your life, and in the second, you focused on how you manage your time to fit everything in.

Your process essay is a formal essay in which you revise the content of your prewriting to concentrate on purpose and audience. The goal is to show other Penn Foster students what concrete steps and/or techniques you use to balance your studies with your other daily responsibilities. Your essay will need

· An introduction with a thesis statement.

· Body paragraphs with topic sentences that each focus on one step, technique, or strategy.

· A conclusion that includes your paraphrased thesis.

Remember to proofread and edit your work. Use the Handbook section (part 7) of your textbook to check your grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. If you have any questions, please contact the school.

Process Analysis Prewriting Rubric

	Skill Realized 100-90	Skill Developing 80-89	Skill Emerging 70-79	Skill Not Shown 69-0
Ideas and Content: -The writer addressed all three areas of his or her life: home and family, school, and work. -The writer used narrative and description to show the reader what is happening in his or her life at the present time. -The writer used description and process analysis to show how he or she manages his or her schedule.	35-32	31-28	28-26	25-0

BALANCING RESPONSIBILITIES

2

-The content meets the requirements of the assignment.
Organization: -The writer followed the instructions and wrote two paragraphs. -Each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea: what is happening in the writer’s life; how the writer manages his or her time. -Each paragraph is developed effectively and presents enough evidence use in the process analysis essay.	35-32	30	28-25	25-0
General Correctness: -The writer used correct sentence structure, grammar, spelling and punctuation. -The writer used spell and grammar checks and proofread the paper to check for errors in word choice and typos. -The paper is reasonably free of errors that interfere with a reader’s ability to understand the content.	20-18	18-16	16-14	14-0
Format: -The writer met the length requirement of 1000- 1100 words. -The writer used the required font size, line spacing and margins. -The writer included the required information in the header at the top of the paper.	10-8	8-7	7-5	5-0

Grade: 81%

Date: 06/01/2020 Instructor:

Instructions for Process Analysis Essay:

Read assignment directions very carefully. Begin with an introductory paragraph that mentions

who you live with (including pets), where you work, what your job entails, and what you are

studying at Penn Foster. End the introductory paragraph with a thesis statement. Your thesis

statement should be the last sentence in this paragraph. Your thesis statement must name the

steps of your time-management process in the order in which they will appear in your body

paragraphs.

Each body paragraph must focus on one step of your time-management process. This step should

be mentioned in the topic sentence. Describe the situation before you implemented the step, how

you implemented the step, and how the step has helped you. Aim not to use the second person

(you) or any of its derivatives (yours, yourself etc.) in this essay, and write out contractions

(“doesn’t” should be written as “does not”; “I’m” should be written as “I am” etc.).

End with a conclusion that names the steps of your process again and reiterates how they helped

you. Ensure that your conclusion showcases your ability to use synonyms to express the same

ideas expressed in your thesis statement. –All the best on your essay!

IMPORTANT NOTICE

Along the right-hand side of your evaluated exam, you should see marginal or "bubble" comments from your instructor. You should also see a series of

highlighted numbers in the evaluation chart identifying the rating you earned on each trait. If you don't see this feedback, click on the "View" tab and "Print Layout" or click on "Review" and the option "All Markup." If you still cannot see the feedback, please contact the school for the complete evaluation.

Balancing Responsibilities

In our day to day life, we are faced with various activities and responsibilities which we have to balance. Some people find it challenging to balance their actions. Therefore, they have to come up with ways or plans like timetables to ensure their activities are given adequate attention. For instance, in a day, I have various responsibilities. I have a lot of activities that I dedicate my time to, and sometimes, I fail to fulfill some. Some of the events that I have to dedicate time to are schoolwork, my job, family responsibilities, sports, hobbies, among others. The activity which I give most focus and attention to is my schoolwork. Education is the key to our desires. I value my schoolwork. Usually, schoolwork involves studying and doing assignments as well as submitting

Commented [SM2]: The topic sentence for this paragraph should have described your daily life.

the assignments on time. The next activity that I give priority after schoolwork is my job. I work on weekends in a store. I have to be at the store at seven in the morning, clean it and prepare it, then open it. I will leave work at around five in the evening. The third activity in my list of priorities is family responsibilities, which I will refer to as house chores. Some of the house chores that I have to do include taking the dog for a walk, checking the mailbox, doing laundry, cooking, and washing utensils. There are other activities which I think are essential to me, but I do not give them as much priority as to the ones listed above—for example, my hobbies. I have two hobbies, painting and singing. In painting, I do sketches of animals and plants. Sometimes, I do landscapes. I love painting because I feel like it is expressing my emotions. I also love singing as a hobby. Usually, I can sing while doing my other responsibilities. The problem often is learning new songs or writing, that requires time and concentration. I also love sports, especially baseball. I try to ensure that I play it at least once a week. This is because it is fun, and it helps me to keep fit. I love doing community service. Sometimes, I offer to help in cleaning the environment. Sometimes, I offer services to the homes of the elderly. To me, community service is like giving back to the community; therefore, whenever I find time in my schedule, I do i t.

Commented [SM4]: You are off to a good start and have included all the necessary details to

satisfy the requirements of the prewriting’s first paragraph. You could have given more details about your schooling, however.

Commented [SM3]: What are you studying at Penn Foster? When do you study?

To help balance my responsibilities and give each adequate attention that it requires, I use three steps. These three steps help me to manage my time well and to balance my activities as well

as responsibilities. The first step is prioritizing my responsibilities. A person needs to know which activities are essential and which ones are less important. This is because, when a person pays less attention to the important things, life losses balance. Therefore, I organize my responsibilities in terms of their priority as well as their urgency. It is vital to organize responsibilities in their necessity to ensure you fulfill them on time. For instance, I put schoolwork at the top of the list in terms of priority and urgency because my assignments have a deadline; late submission leads to a

Commented [SM5]: The first sentence in this paragraph (the topic sentence) should have outlined the specific strategies you use to balance everything or remain organized. After mentioning them in your topic sentence, the expectation was that you would treat each one individually, elaborating on how they each help you achieve balance.

reduction of marks. The second step that I take is writing a timetable at the beginning of every week. This is to enable me to know the day and time that I am supposed to do a particular activity. It also helps me to avoid confusion and not to stretch myself to a point which I am tired, and I do not have adequate time to rest. I have the timetable in my phone. This is because, whenever I write it in a book, I forget the book either at home or at work. Therefore, I cannot confirm what time I am supposed to do a particular activity. On my phone, it is easily accessible because I do not forget to take my phone with me wherever I go, even to the bathroom.

The third and the last step, which

Formatted: Highlight

I consider the most important, without it, my daily activities will be messed. That step is the use of reminders. I use an app to ensure this. The app is Google calendar. Google calendar has a section to set reminders. In the section, I fill in my timetable and set reminders. Therefore, when it is time to do a specific activity, my phone sets out an alarm to remind me. I confirm the activity and start working on it. To ensure my phone does not go off, I carry around a power bank to charge it.

Commented [SM7]: You have some great strategies in this paragraph and have elaborated well.

Commented [SM6]: Sentence fragment.