For Kim Woods

Kiera, your short essay as a response to the questions posed revolving about the topic of the Initial Argument Essay is basically quite good, covering important and informative points.  However, there were some aspects of your short essay that were weak, and are reflected in the evaluative criteria or the grading rubric, as well as my critical remarks in your essay.  Please examine these areas of weakness, and try to improve upon them in the future.

 

( 1.76 / 2.00) Presents a Main Argument for the Thesis

Proficient - Presents a main argument for the thesis in standard form. The main argument contains few errors in clarity or logic.

Comments:

Good work providing a clear main argument for your thesis. The argument makes good points. However, it could use some improvement in the reasoning. Consider ways in which it is possible for the premises to be true and the conclusion false. Then add or modify premises so that the conclusion is much more likely to follow from the premises given.

( 1.32 / 1.50) Supporting Evidence

Proficient - Provides support for all premises of the argument by explaining the meaning of each premise and supporting evidence. The supporting evidence provides appropriate reasons for thinking each premise is true. Minor details are missing or unclear.

Comments:

Good job providing support for the premises of the argument. Support for some premises could perhaps be further strengthened. Consider a premise of your argument to which someone with the opposite view might object and see if you can find stronger evidence that would be most likely to persuade that person that your premise is true.

( 0.38 / 0.50) Explains How the Conclusion of The Argument Follows From Its Premises

Basic - Partially explains how the conclusion of the argument follows from the premises. Relevant details are missing and/or unclear.

( 0.44 / 0.50) Written Communication: Control of Syntax and Mechanics

Proficient - Displays comprehension and organization of syntax and mechanics, such as spelling and grammar. Written work contains only a few minor errors and is mostly easy to understand.

Comments:

Good job! Correct conventions facilitate the reading of the text.