Family and Society

II. COHABITATION

Definition: a living arrangement in which two adults who are not married to each other but who have a sexual relationship share the same house or apartment – cohabitation has been increasing among individuals of all social classes – cohabitation relationships in the US are shorter, on average, than in most other industrialized nations – within two years, half of all cohabitating relationships have ended either by marriage or they split

Cohabitation has been on the rise because

* less stigma

* birth control pill for women

* financial independence of women who now work for pay

while cohabitation has increased across all social classes, it does differ by social class – the more education a woman has, the less likely she is to live with a partner before marrying

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For people with a college degree: cohabitation the least likely –

Most in this group consider cohabitation a test-run for marriage – they may cohabit after college during grad school or starting to pursue career – some move in together when they get engaged and have a wedding date set – few will have kids prior to marrying, and few will cohabit for more than two or three years without marrying or breaking up

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For people who graduated high school but don’t have a college degree, cohabitation is less closely tied to marriage – these individuals may wish to eventually marry, but they do not think it is possible or even desirable at that time – marriage may not be the first thing on their mind when they decide to move in together – often they move in together within the first six months of their relationship – in this group, it is common for unmarried couples to move in together after the woman becomes pregnant, even if the pregnancy was unplanned – whether children are present or not, most moderately educated cohabitants eventually think about the issue of marriage, but they have high standards – that is, they say they will not marry until they own a home, are out of debt, and have a stable solid income – if they fail to accomplish this, then these couples are likely to split within a few years –

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For people who did not graduate from high school, most have low incomes, they are even further removed from considering marriage – some low-income women see little chance of finding a man who they feel is suitable for marriage – among the least educated cohabitants they tend of live in serial cohabitation – most say they want to marry but they will only do it when the partner has demonstrated the ability to hold down a job and they have down payment for house etc

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Prior to the legalization of same-sex marriage, gays and lesbians were forced to use cohabitation as a substitute for marriage –

Studies find no significant differences in love or relationship satisfaction comparing gay and lesbian couples to heterosexual couples – however, studies do find that among most gay and lesbian couples both partners work for pay, and they split the housework and child care more equally compared to heterosexual couples – however, studies also find that when one partner works substantially longer hours and also makes substantially more money, then that person does less of the housework and child care (think about lecture on family and work!)

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People who cohabit are much more likely to get a divorce, but the actual act of cohabitation does not increase the risk of divorce – it is the people themselves

III. MARRIAGE

Marriage in the US has been on the decline – at current rates, about ¾ of American young adults will ever marry, and that is the lowest percentage on record since we have records starting mid 1800s – the decline of marriage is mostly among young adults without college degrees – the decline is also especially among African Americans, among whom about half are projected to marry

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Institutional marriage = pre 20th century – think back to first lecture – family as social institution with roles and rules – during this time period the husband was expected to be head of household and the wife dutiful and submissive and children obedient – although wife and husband might have been fond of each other, romantic love was not necessary or even desireable (see beginning of lecture on dating) – spouses were expected to work the farm and raise the children

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Companionate marriage = in 1945 Ernest Burgess the leading family sociologist described this transition in the meaning of marriage – the marriage type emerging in 1940s emphasized affection, friendship, and sexual gratification – this was still single-earner male breadwinner female homemaker (think of 1950s) – still strict gender roles, but spouses were supposed to be friends and lovers – during this time women started to go to college but bc they were seen as needing an MRS degree, able to hold conversation in marriage – companionate marriage peaked at midcentury

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Toward individualistic marriage = starting in 1960s – dual-earners becoming more common – although women were still doing most of the second shift, gender roles were becoming more flexible – people started to evaluate their marriage based more on individual satisfaction rather than in terms of satisfaction of building a family – it mattered more in terms of how they were enjoying their jobs, sex lives, etc

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These transitions in marriage have happened primarily due to changes in the nature of work and then also increases in families’ standards of living –

Shift from institutional to companionate because US was becoming more industrialized – availability of wage work meant that young adults could move away from parents to jobs in the city, so parents had less control over who the young adult dated and married –

Shift from companionate to individualistic occurred bc more women got jobs and now had greater independence from men and were exposed to ideas beyond the home –

In addition to economics/changes in work, marriage also shifted bc families made gains in standards of living – when economics are hard, people have less time to focus on personal fulfillment – higher standards of living mean that people can choose to live alone if the marriages are not personally fulfilling

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Is marriage good for you?

Research shows that married men benefit greatly from marriage compared to nonmarried men – for women, marriage seems a benefit, but to a lesser extent – however, we do not know what causes these differences – does marriage cause people to feel better and live longer, or is it that mentally and physically healthier people are more likely to get married and to stay married? – probably both, both a causal effect and a selection effect – research does strongly suggest that men actually benefit from the marriage itself, bc they rely heavily on their wife for emotional support, whereas women are more likely to have social support networks with other women (men not really)

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Marriage market

Unmarried individuals who are searching for someone to marry them –

Marriage market has three components: supply, preferences, and resources –

Supply – who is actually in the marriage market –

Preferences – what you are looking for in spouse

Resources – what characteristics you have that are attractive to others –

So preferences is what you want in a partner, resources is that you have to offer

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Marital homogamy

People tend to marry people with similar social characteristics –

basis of homogamy has been changing:

used to be based on ascribed status (race, religion)

now based on achieved status (education)