Dear Professor, The computer didn't save the final version because of a power failure. I found the mistake after I uploaded it. Because my landlord rented rooms to a lot of people, the electricity used was so high that the fuse blew out. This is the final version. I'm sorry this has happened. Have a great day. thank you Best, Tom

Download draft Tom zhang.docx

Taoning Zhang, Oct 31 at 2:42am

This is a PDF version, which is easier to write down comments. thank you a lot.

Taoning Zhang, Oct 31 at 2:59am

See attached files Download draft Tom zhang.pdf

Taoning Zhang, Oct 31 at 3am

Header must be Times New Roman. Only double space should be used throughout the paper.

Reminder that Intro. #1 should show more of the contrast between films and movies. 2 quotes from Swanson's essay (and page numbers) are required, & the entire paragraph must be 3/4 page in length. Half of the 1st intro should be about movies, and then the 2nd half of the intro should be about films.

The title of the film should always be in italics. You should also have the title clearly pointed out to the reader somewhere on page 1.

The 2nd intro. paragraph should be a fairly straightforward plot summary. What you have here shows that you are still trying to figure out how to do a plot summary on a rather complicated film. Also, don't state so many personal comments here. Your opinion here is secondary; your facts are primary.

You should be highlighting the key scenes in no more than 14-18 sentences. Also, this should also be 3/4 page in length. Finally, there is only so much you can share here--save a lot of your firepower for the body paragraphs.

Remember that the thesis should be 8 1/2 is a film that "feeds the mind." What exactly in all the body paragraphs is being done by you to prove the film does "feed the mind?"

Luis Agregán, Oct 31 at 4:32pm

https://canvas.pasadena.edu/courses/1107618/assignments/8557423/submissions/3770900?comment_id=12599384&download=68089818

https://canvas.pasadena.edu/courses/1107618/assignments/8557423/submissions/3770900?comment_id=12599397&download=68089833

11/2/2020 Grades for Taoning Zhang: Fal20 ENGL 001A #72534 READING AND COMPOSITION-Online

https://canvas.pasadena.edu/courses/1107618/grades 5/7

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COMMENTS Also, you need to remember in which order will they be put in--remember that the Order of Importance is key here.

Where is specific analysis on the setting? Where are the symbols? themes? character development? Everything you do here must be evidence that the film "feeds the mind."

It is very unclear to me that you have any understanding on this film; more research absolutely must be done because it is unclear that any has been done so far.

You really should seek the help of the Online Writing Center asap. Also, you must research more and really use quotes from film scholars and the filmmakers themselves as far as proving all this feeds the mind.

Works Cited page has several problems:

Only double space throughout the paper must be employed.

The title is misspelled.

Too much wasted space on the 1st source.

Where is the film and Swanson's essay here?

Prof. Agregán

For Works Cited, please refer to https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_formatting_and_style_guide.html

Please refer to for proper formatting https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_sample_paper.html

The library is a valuable resource not only for researchable information but also the reference desk and staff are capable of guiding you through your ideas. https://pasadena.edu/library/index.php

Make sure to make an effort in visiting the Writing Center to have someone look over your essay in the next following weeks. https://pasadena.edu/academics/support/success-centers/index.php

Be sure to visit a tutor to help you grasp the idea of the assignment. Bring the writing prompt and be ready with questions to help the

Luis Agregán, Oct 31 at 4:46pm

11/2/2020 Grades for Taoning Zhang: Fal20 ENGL 001A #72534 READING AND COMPOSITION-Online

https://canvas.pasadena.edu/courses/1107618/grades 6/7

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COMMENTS process to go smoothly. https://pasadena.edu/academics/support/success-centers/index.php

Observe the film a few times to better understand the themes and other film elements that are present.

Pay attention to the setting, symbols,and character development to reinforce your arguments. You absolutely need to make more research on this film.

Be more thorough when writing arguments that support your thesis.

Make clear topic sentences in each body paragraph and give more details to help the reader know just exactly how the film feeds the mind.

Re-reading the essay prompt and annotating will help understanding what is expected from this essay. In addition you will be able to see what is lacking from your essay.

To help get started with research on how the film feeds the mind, refer to https://www.rogerebert.com/ There are many, many more references and research sites to help you learn more about the film. You need to start asap to learn more about it.

Review the rules of when to italicize and when to put works in quotations using the following link. https://irsc.libguides.com/c.php?g=483085&p=3303403

Refrain from using Sparknotes for quoting.

You need to read the writing prompt and find what is being asked from you. Be sure to follow the directions to dramatically improve your essay.

You need to answer the how and why this film feeds the mind using arguments and evidence from the film.

I really recommend seeking a tutor to help you understand the assignment.

Finally, be very specific in proving how the themes, characters, symbols, and settings feed the mind throughout your essay. The more detailed your research, the better the chances at proving your thesis and, thereby, improving your grade here.

11/2/2020 Grades for Taoning Zhang: Fal20 ENGL 001A #72534 READING AND COMPOSITION-Online

https://canvas.pasadena.edu/courses/1107618/grades 7/7

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Mc-H Chapter 8 Assignment Oct 30 by 11:59pm 5

COMMENTS

Use Align Left please--do not have straight lines on the left and right margins!!

Why is there so much emphasis on George Strait?? Also, there is very little here that shows you read or understood the essay.

Prof. Agregán

Luis Agregán, Nov 1 at 11:57am

HOTS Chapter 10 Nov 5 by 11:59pm 5

Paper #3-Choose Your Problem (Causes/Solutions) Nov 6 by 11:59pm 5

Works Cited Draft Nov 6 by 11:59pm 5