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ExplorationofPerceptionsofMarriageDissatisfaction-6.pdf
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Walden Dissertations and Doctoral Studies
2016
Exploration of Perceptions of Marriage Dissatisfaction Among African American Couples Terrence Schofield Walden University
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Walden University
College of Social and Behavioral Sciences
This is to certify that the doctoral dissertation by
Terrence Schofield
has been found to be complete and satisfactory in all respects, and that any and all revisions required by the review committee have been made.
Review Committee
Dr. Penelope Laws, Committee Chairperson, Psychology Faculty Dr. Stephen Rice, Committee Member, Psychology Faculty
Dr. Tracy Masiello, University Reviewer, Psychology Faculty
Chief Academic Officer Eric Riedel, Ph.D.
Walden University 2016
Abstract
Perceptions of Marital Dissatisfaction Among African American Couples
by
Terrence Schofield
MS, Walden University, 2012
BS, Knoxville College, 1994
Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment
of the Requirements for the Degree of
Doctor of Philosophy
Clinical Psychology
Walden University
August 2016
Abstract
African Americans experience greater rates of marriage dissatisfaction than do other
ethnic groups. However, research on perceived coping, attachment, and socioeconomic
factors primarily focus on Caucasian experiences. The purpose of this study was to
determine if coping, attachment, and socioeconomic influences were contributors to
perceptions of marriage dissatisfaction for African Americans. The study’s theoretical
foundation explored attachment-style perceptions of dissatisfaction. A phenomenological
method was used to understand how attachment, coping, and socioeconomic factors
contribute to marital dissatisfaction and to determine the type of emotional behaviors that
indicated dissatisfaction. A sample of 7 married African American individuals was
recruited through a local community church. Interview data regarding the perceived
dissatisfaction experiences and coping strategies in African American marriages were
inductively analyzed. Findings revealed the absence of being happy, inability to
communicate, mediating differences, family issues, and socioeconomic concerns as
contributors to their perceived marriage dissatisfaction. Findings also suggested that their
dissatisfaction stemmed from coping, attachment, and socioeconomic concerns. These
emergent themes are not unique from literature among other ethnic groups, suggesting a
shared understanding of marital satisfaction and dissatisfaction among all individuals.
These findings may bring about positive social change by broadening the scope of
discussions among social scientists and mental health professionals about marital
satisfaction across racial and ethnic groups.
Perceptions of Marital Dissatisfaction Among African American Couples
by
Terrence Schofield
MS, Walden University, 2012
BS, Knoxville College, 1994
Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment
of the Requirements for the Degree of
Doctor of Philosophy
Clinical Psychology
Walden University
August 2016
Acknowledgments
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my Chairperson’s Dr. Penelope
Laws, Dr. Stephen Rice, Dr. Tracy Masiello, and Dr. Annie Pezalla who have always
shown confidence in me. They have offered their patience, remarks, propositions, and
understanding. At this juncture I would also like to mention my wife Teresa Schofield
and my children Nicky, DeMarcus, Daniel, and Terry Jr. who have always believed in me
for all my hard work. I also want to thank the following groups. My family, including my
sister (Beverly), my brothers (Larry and Calvin) who all have offered me tremendous
confidence that I had what it took to accomplish my academic and life pursuits. My
mother for her belief that I could be more than my surroundings dictated. Lastly, my
peers for their years of collaboration and phone calls that made me try harder and look
deeper into the knowledge within me. I am also grateful towards my university and my
department, the administrators, faculty members for their ongoing support throughout this
study.
i
Table of Contents
List of Tables ..................................................................................................................... iv
Chapter 1: Introduction to the Study ....................................................................................1
Background ....................................................................................................................2
Statement of Problem ...................................................................................................14
Purpose of the Study ....................................................................................................16
Research Questions ......................................................................................................17
Theoretical Framework ................................................................................................18
Nature of the Study ......................................................................................................20
Definition of Terms......................................................................................................23
Assumptions .................................................................................................................26
Delimitations… ...............................................................................................……….27
Limitations ................................................................................................................. 28
Significance of the Study ............................................................................................29
Summary .....................................................................................................................30
Chapter 2: Literature Review .............................................................................................32
The Family Environment .............................................................................................34
Attachment Styles ........................................................................................................37
History of Learned Behaviors ......................................................................................45
Socioeconomic Factors ................................................................................................48
Coping Styles ...............................................................................................................52
Internal and External Influences ..................................................................................53
ii
Controlling Personalities ..............................................................................................55
Emotional Abuse ..........................................................................................................57
Summary and Conclusions ..........................................................................................60
Chapter 3: Research Method ..............................................................................................63
Research Design and Methodology .............................................................................63
Research Questions ..................................................................................................... 63
Interview Questions .................................................................................................... 64
Role of Researcher .......................................................................................................68
Methodology ................................................................................................................69
Data Analysis ...............................................................................................................72
Summary ......................................................................................................................78
Chapter 4: Results ..............................................................................................................80
Setting .........................................................................................................................82
Demographics ..............................................................................................................83
Data Collection ............................................................................................................85
Data Analysis ...............................................................................................................87
Evidence of Trustworthiness ........................................................................................88
Results .........................................................................................................................91
Summary ....................................................................................................................118
Chapter 5: Discussion, Conclusions, and Recommendations ..........................................120
Limitations .................................................................................................................124
Recommendations ......................................................................................................125
iii
Implications................................................................................................................126
Social Change ............................................................................................................126
Conclusions ................................................................................................................128
References ........................................................................................................................130
Appendix A: Demographic Questionnaire.……………………………………………..153 Appendix B: Interview Questionnaire………………………………………………….157 Appendix C: Transcriptions…………..………………………………………………………………159
iv
List of Tables
Table 1. Demographics of Participants …………………………………………….…..84
Table 2. Definition of Marriage………………………………………………………..100
Table 3. Marital Dissatisfaction: Feelings Toward Spouse…………………………....101
Table 4.Marital Dissatisfaction: Thoughts Spouse Expressed Toward You…...……...102
Table 5. Describe Your Coping/Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Marriage
Experiences.................................................……………………………………104
Table 6. Describe Your Coping/Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Differences in
Communication……….………………………………………………………..106
Table 7. Describe Your Coping/Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Familial
Influence………………………….………………………………………….…107
Table 8. Describe Your Coping/Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Differences in
Perception…………………………………...………………………………….109
Table 9. Describe Your Coping/Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience:
Interaction…..……………………………………………………………….....111
Table 10. Socioeconomic/Coping Expressions of Dissatisfaction: Relationship
History..………………………………………………………………….…….112
Table 11. Socioeconomic/Coping Expressions of Dissatisfaction: What Affects the
Marriage………………………………………………………………………..114
Table 12. Socioeconomic/Coping Expressions of Dissatisfaction: Memories of
Marriage………………………………………………………………….…….115
v
Table 13. Socioeconomic/Coping Expressions of Dissatisfaction: Upward
Mobility…………………………………………………………….……….….117
1
Chapter 1: Introduction to the Study
Introduction
This study focused on similarities between perceived distress and marital
dissatisfaction among married African American couples. The following research was
undertaken to better understand perceptions of marital dissatisfaction in relation to
coping, attachment, and socio-economic contributors to marital dissatisfaction.
Perceptions influence moods, whereas circumstances enhance or reduce the magnitude of
certain conditions (Avramova, Stapel, & Lerouge, 2010). These perceived behavioral
responses and conditions, within the context of marriage, are best understood as learned
processes of managing emotions through lived experiences. These lived experiences are
tested through controlled and non-controlled environments. An emotional response is an
elicited reaction from evaluating the degree a person’s needs are fulfilled or not fulfilled
in relation to the environment (Greenberg, 2012). Limited research is available to help
understand the ways various family attachments, coping, and socioeconomic factors
contribute to marital distress within the African American context and experience, and
little research has been performed on the African American family experience (Marks,
Tanner, Nesteruk, Chaney, & Baumgartner, 2012). In major sections of my study, I
focused on various attachment styles, socioeconomic factors, and coping issues that
contribute to forming perceived marital dissatisfaction among African American couples.
There is limited research centered on attachment and coping within the context of chronic
diseases (Bazzazian, & Besharat, 2012).
2
Background
The historical background of marriage among African American couples is
replete with accounts of fact and fiction. Butler-Mokoro (2010) stated that many slaves
and free Blacks were illiterate and most could not record first-person stories. As a result,
accurate sources have been misinterpreted when written from secondary sources.
Historical data concerning historical views held of marriage among African Americans
are best understood circumstantially within the socio-contextual condition of its time.
Early perceptions of African American marriages were affected by distance created by
slavery, which was a major contributor to dissolved marriages among slaves. This is
similar to modern day issues of poverty and high African American male imprisonment,
which totals 1.5 million in United States federal prisons, and an additional 700,000 in
local jails. I sought to provide an understanding of how thoughts, feelings, and unwanted
emotions contribute to distress in various marital and interpersonal relationships.
More research is needed on personality and behavioral factors that contribute to
marital distress, especially among African American couples. Alarming statistics reveal
that African American marriages possess the steepest declination rates among all ethnic
populations in the United States (Pinderhughes, 2002). Research on perceived marriage
dissatisfaction is also needed to gain better insight into marriages from African American
perspectives (Marks, Nesteruk, Hopkins-Williams, Swanson, & Davis, 2006).
The U.S. Census Bureau found that 42% of African American adults are married
compared to 61% of Caucasians and 49% of Hispanic marriages. Approximately 68% of
African American children are birthed by unmarried mothers, in comparison with only
3
29% of Caucasians and 44% of Hispanics. More than 62% of African American
households are single-parent homes, in comparison with 27% of Caucasian and 35% of
Hispanic single-parent households (Chambers & Kravitz, 2011).
Divorce is a traumatic event that may develop from low personal satisfaction
within marriage relationships. The uncertainty of divorce and related factors makes it
difficult to explain and therefore prevent recovery from both its negative and positive
experiences (Zarzosa & Somarriba, 2013). Among African American young females 18
years old and older, 43% have never been married (Duncan, 2012). In addition, African
American women younger than 25 years have an 81% likelihood of remarrying within 10
years of divorce, whereas women older than 25 years have a 68% likelihood of
remarrying after a divorce (Humble, 2009). These statistics likely result from the growing
acceptance of the ease of getting out of unhappy marriages, the establishment of no-fault
divorce legislations, and the growing population of economic independent women in
American communities.
The increase of divorce rates illustrates that high levels of marriage disaffection
exists. Most marriages that I examined in this dissertation were associated with marital
unhappiness relative to socioeconomic, attachment history of problems, and coping
stressors as contributors that reduce marriage quality (Woody, 2009). Miller, Sassler, and
Kusi-Appouh (2011) surveyed 43.1% of males in high school who stated it was unlikely
that they would remain married to the same person. This study reveals the nihilistic view
of marriage and the ease with which to dissolve mutual relationships. Duncan (2012)
revealed a higher rate of 57% of previously married couples who were married and now
4
divorced, which suggests the scarcity of Black males as the reason for the lack of
marriageable individuals among African Americans. High incarceration rates of African
American males were the primary factor. This lack of African American men has
increased interracial marriages, which has produced fewer marriageable Black men.
African American males have a 2.56% higher rate of being in a concurrent relationship
than White males (Nunn et al., 2011). These statistics have reduced the marketability of
the African American male within the dating field.
Another major cause of most marital displeasure is encountering negative
personalities, which I discuss in the controlling personalities section of the literature
review. When spouses perceive their mates critically, they become more negative, which
contributes to a decline in marital satisfaction (Schoebi, Perrez, & Bradbury, 2012).
Consequently, when a spouse experiences such significant levels of negative interactions
and increased levels of conflict from their mate, these experiences can develop into
dissatisfied feelings and create an emotional wall between future positive encounters
within the relationship (Schoebi, Way, Karney, & Bradbury, 2012). These emotional
interactions lead to feelings that contribute to loss of confidence and mate distress.
Especially among African Americans, encounters with racism and various societal
prejudices can become an acute source of stress and negatively affect the family
experience (Lincoln & Chae, 2012). Often this loss of confidence can lead to a decreasing
desire to cope with future relationship challenges. These feelings, when left unchecked,
can procure undesired thoughts and feelings and grow into undesirable emotions.
Personality displeasure is linked to an individual’s internalized negative perceptions of
5
others and themselves. Displeasure surfaces during times when individuals deal with
conflict, transfer relationship support, distribute emotions intimately, live out the balance
of power within relationships, and attempt to problem solve (Brock & Lawrence, 2011).
Among African Americans, dissatisfaction contains constraints that alter
personality and thought. The theory of constraint suggests that humans react in
contrasting ways by failing to choose right at the expense of doing wrong (Birkin,
Polesie, & Lewis, 2009). This contributes to future mate displeasure choices in a variety
of situations and relationships. For instance, African Americans place a strong value on
family and marriage, but this value does not translate into increased desire for marriages
within most African American populations (Chambers & Kravitz, 2011). Some of these
constraints are personally endured as a result of vulnerabilities, unresolved family
relationship conflict, and community and social constraints that prevent African
Americans from access to employment, which would alleviate economic stressors.
Breunlin (2009) stated in his theory of constraint that people’s thoughts and actions result
from prior prohibited experiences.
Inherited behaviors passed down through other generations can also contribute to
distress and displeasure among African Americans. Inherent effects suggest that these
behaviors have inherited negative tendencies that contribute to variations in subjective
long and short-term well-being (McCann, 2011). These learned behaviors contribute to
long and short-term well-being and can carry over into adulthood experiences. For
instance, if a particular region contains many individuals with a high propensity for
unpleasant emotions, the behavioral and psychosocial effects could continue, and affect
6
surrounding individuals within this population. This is true even among those who did
not score high on exhibiting unpleasant emotional behavior. Exposure among highly
anxious, stressful, and irritable environments can transfer and cause unstable
psychosocial stress among people living within such environments (McCann, 2011).
African Americans have a history and are more likely statistically to either live in or
experience these environments during their lifetimes.
African American couples living within low-income contexts are laden with
unalterable experiences that contribute to individuals having a low self-concept and
psychological distress. Tolan, Lovegrove, and Clark (2013) stated that families residing
in low-income environments have to contend with a variety of life stressors at elevated
levels as a result of their environment; these stressors affect their overall well-being and
health. Stressors associated from living in communities that have fewer economic and
social structural resources increase the risk of emotional and social problems. Exposure
among these unalterable experiences can contribute to stress within relationships and
alter couples’ perceptions of their quality of marital functioning and relationship stability.
Maintaining emotional stability is difficult in marital environments surrounded by
unalterable situations. In limited controlled environments, levels of anxiety increased due
to the lack of control that individuals sensed within their environments of low-
socioeconomic environments, single-parent households, traumatic childhood experiences,
and partner violence encounters that are discussed at length in the literature review
section of this paper. As a result of living within the limited controlled environments
7
mentioned earlier, anxiety and somatic behaviors peak in response to unalterable
situations they cannot control or alter.
Factors contributing to marital distress are associated with interpersonal conflict
and balance of power roles, which can produce negative effects. These effects include
unpleasant moods, emotions, and lack of positive responses such as anxiousness,
frustration, sadness, stress, worry, guilt, and shameful feelings that are strongly tied to
negative effects and to individuals’ overall life experiences (McCann, 2011).
Problem-solving issues continue to surface also as a result of increased frequency
and length of interpersonal exposure to constant argumentative environments. These
environments are portrayed during conflict situations, exhibited aggression during times
of conflict, and couples recovery time after difficult altercations. A form of displeasure
sets in during this critical time when couples transfer and sense a need for support in
relationships when support is absent. In terms of personality and intimate interactions,
these displeasures are observable through the lens of the couple’s expression of their
feelings of closeness, how they exhibit said affection among others through their own
form of self-expression, and how they balance power roles within their relationships
(Brock & Lawrence, 2011).
In relation to control or limited control and instability of emotions, further
research on the origin of personality and behavior offers deeper insight into the
coexistence of emotions and thoughts. Thoughts surface from the process of analyzing
and generalizing, which underscore the need to check whether emotions indicate that
something must be done (Dalgleish, 2009). Personalities are not isolated phenomena;
8
they are interwoven into people’s ideas on one side and into their bodies on the other.
Personalities, interpersonal issues, ancestral traits, and negative environments are major
contributors to marital dissatisfaction, as are feelings of guilt and holding onto a belief
that the situation may improve (Træen, 2010). More research is needed to better
understand these underlying factors to reduce encounters with martial distress.
Further understanding and research are needed to help identify underlying factors
that promote personality and behavioral adjustments in difficult marriage relationships
among African Americans. A significant amount of African American family
interpersonal relationships are complicated as a result of their daily encounters in poor
economic and social conditions, which increase the likelihood of dissatisfied
interpersonal relations and family distress. Statistically, 25.1% of African American
adults are below the federal poverty level, 34.5% of African American children reside in
impoverished conditions, and 29% of African American families are headed by single
women who have the highest poverty rank of 39% among all ethnic groups in the United
States (Taylor & Budescu, 2013).
Behavioral adjustments are major components that alter personal satisfaction
within interrelationships. Studies revealed similarities between a wide range of relational
situations that include satisfaction, quality, and stableness in relationships and
personalities. More in depth studies are needed on interpersonal personality traits and
their association with interpersonal behavior and how encounters with these behaviors
contribute to relational dissolution and dissatisfaction personalities that are vital in
understanding contributing factors within the relationship experience. Our interpersonal
9
relationship experiences are the central focal point of reference in understanding various
personality expressions. These various ways of expression provide insight into methods
in which to analyze individual personality choices to various situations. Behavior
influences the sequence choices of our interactions, which helps us become more aware
of how a person initiates a sequence of interactive behavior and provides the lens through
which to reference personal perceptions and behavior response choices (Hines &
Saudino, 2008).
Maintaining a healthy and sustaining marriage requires basic elements. Couples
enter into relationships with various perceptions of the relationship. Historically among
most African American females, perception of the traditional male as the patriarchal
provider has created contention. These paternal contentions triggers anxiety and various
other psychological feelings within African American males, especially as fathers with no
other reference other than rejection, because human behavior is largely socially
transmitted (Aymer, 2010). One reason for this conflict goes as far back as slavery. This
view is substantiated through the historical mistreatment and emasculation of the African
American male. Chambers & Kravitz (2011) suggested that emasculation has
inadvertently contributed to the African American female’s skeptical view of the
patriarchal family and the ideology of the African/African American male’s ability to
become the patriarchal father of the family unit. Such historical misperceptions of the
European patriarchal family idiom and the African American way of survival under such
idiom has evolved and created a wedge between male and female interrelationships and
their perception of each other in terms of proper marital roles. In addition, gender role
10
confusion from the witnessed and perceived stress on African American females and their
feelings of being torn contrasts to the White perceived patriarchal model, which
contributes to tense gender relations. The high divorce and low marriage rates among
African Americans may mirror the gender role confusion over time caused by the image
of the European patriarchal and matriarchal marriage symbol and the unrealistic reality
within the African American marriage experience. These unpleasant realities often
promote help-seeking behavior and unpleasant emotions. For instance, research on people
who exhibit help-seeking behavior also exhibit high incidents of unpleasant emotions.
Research has suggested that help-seeking behavior correlates with the experience of
emotional distress (Kakhnovets, 2011). Further, when a person exhibits and holds onto
more negative behavior toward a spouse, couples are more negatively perceived and
dissatisfied in the relationship. This perceived dissatisfaction is exhibited in other forms
of the couple’s interrelationship and possibly the way one spouse behaves in a certain
manner will predict how the other will behave (Durtschi, Fincham, Cui, Lorenz, &
Conger, 2011).
Attitudes and psychological aggression are important factors in marital
satisfaction and are modeled differently between males and females. Unpleasant
emotions are familiar behavior among males and females who exhibit psychological
aggression. These emotions are common, specifically among women who exhibit a sense
of independence, self-constraint, and a high drive to succeed. These women will likely
exhibit psychological aggression toward their partner (Hines & Saudino, 2008). In a
survey among African American women older than 35 years with a desire to be married,
11
results stated that marriage represented a sense of reduction of control and power they
desired not to give up (Chambers & Kravitz, 2011).
One of the most negative relationship environments is one where individuals
struggle over maintaining a mutual sense of interdependence. Negative emotional
exchanges between individuals contribute to an inability to regulate one’s emotions
(Lindsey, Chambers, Frabutt, & Mackinnon-Lewis, 2009). The goal of the individual in
the relationship is to maintain a sense of his or her own individuality. Interdependent
relationship studies suggests many people will choose to remain in unsatisfying
relationships because of the dependence they have on the marriage union for satisfaction,
regardless of dissatisfied feelings of being locked into a troubled marriage and the
inability to step back from difficulties in solving relationship problems (Liu, Rovine,
Cousino & Almeida, 2013).
Aron and Aron (2010) said the “should I stay or should I go” decision should be
based on factors demonstrated in Rusbult’s investment model. This model suggests that
couples provide mutual inclusive ways of coexisting, which ultimately builds a positive
sense of self and mutual value in couple’s interrelationship.
Armon, Shirom, and Melamed (2012) stated that a host of societal issues takes
root in relationship problems, which often include problems such as psychological
illness, substance abuse, disease, domestic violence, employment problems, and even a
higher likelihood of involvement in major traffic accidents. Unpleasant emotions are
traits that cause people to have a tendency to perceive life events in a negative manner.
This type of emotion develops negative perceptions as a result of its internalized
12
perceived pessimism. Rather than address external factors, people internalize feelings that
result in negativity and deep-rooted pessimism.
Unresolved emotions and anger are measurable in terms of environments that
reinforce such habits and behavior. Nevarez, Weinman, Buzi, and Smith (2009) studied
25 young fathers from inner cities, 13 of which were African American, six were
Hispanic, and six were Caucasian. They found that only one father was married and most
of these fathers stated that the community in which they were reared had high levels of
poverty and violence. A majority of these fathers stated that they had great relationships
with their mothers but not with their fathers. This altered their own ability to believe that
they could be a good father based on their own absent-father paradigm. This caused
problems in referencing what a mature father or husband looks like within the context of
the marital relationship and a personal lack of sensing they could be a mature father.
In terms of African American females, transference can take the place through
mothers who may transmit messages to their daughters about marriage. Daughters of
unmarried mothers are more prone than other young women to become young and
unmarried, because a young woman’s expectations of marriage can be influenced by her
mother’s marital expectations (Oberlander, Agostini, Houston, & Black, 2010).
From a human development perspective, most perceptions are formed from
exposure to life events. If pessimism survives, it is a learned behavior and is carried into
life situations including relationships, which can lead to the formation of major
depressive behaviors. The pessimism that leads to depression is a behavior that forms as a
result of several factors, but research has long supported the fact that the context and
13
perception of an individual’s social and physical environment has a major influence on
their mental health. Merely fantasizing about one’s future without a positive belief and
plan to produce one can affect one’s mental health in a variety of negative ways
(Sergeant & Mongrain, 2014). Ecological traumatic studies support the view that cultural,
community, and social factors determine the level of response to and recovery from
traumatic events. It is well documented that exposure to traumatic experiences may alter
a person’s mental health (Tummala–Narra, Li, Liu, & Wang, 2014). Risk factors
associated with depression, and being Black in America, correlate more strongly to
African Americans than those of other nationalities. In a three-dimension neighborhood
study of the multiple effects of environment and depression, results revealed that
socioeconomic environments are a protector against worsening depression. Of the two
noted positive and negative dimensions, affluence was positive and disadvantaged
environments were negative and worsened depressive factors (Beard et al., 2009). These
socio-environmental conditions are major contributors that alter emotions and
personalities, and increase negative perceptions. Identifying these emotional perceived
conditions is paramount to reduce marital distress.
In this study, I attempted to fill the gap in literature that has failed to identify
emotional difficulties among African American couples in high maintenance
relationships as synonymous with the cause of marital distress. The manner in which
couples interact with each other will determine the level of negative or positive
perception of the interrelationship (Macher, 2013). Various studies predicting interactions
between perceived distress and perseverance revealed correlations with high levels of
14
distress and health consequences. An interpersonal conflict study of relationships within
environments of yelling, cursing, and verbal threat, increased one’s risk of cognitive
impairments and chronic disease (El-Sheikh, Kelly, & Rauer, 2013). These unpleasant
emotions are the result of people in high-controlling relationship environments, where
preservation is the utopic response. This response trait produce a measure of trait-
perseverance consistent with survival in the right setting, but it can be perceived as
unproductive in environments and experiences perceived to be desperate, unrealistic, or
misleading (Robinson, Wilkowski, Kirkeby, & Meier, 2006).
There is a dearth of information with regard to insights of distressed relationships
of African American married couples (Cutrona, et al. 2003), and more research is needed
to understand how perceived coping and attachment issues contribute to marital
dissatisfaction among African American couples. Greater research in this area is needed
to understand distress from the lens of the African American perspective and reduce
irrelevant conclusions written outside of its cultural context.
Statement of Problem
Marital displeasure is synonymous to emotional dissatisfaction and unpleasant
emotions. As a result, recent research reveal these unpleasant emotions can develop into
personality problems such as antisocial behaviors, anger control problems, and
adjustment issues that can create contention with others and form several internal
distressed emotions (Žunić-Pavlović, Pavlović, Kovačević-Lepojević, Glumbić, &
Kovačević, 2013). Personality of a spouse can influence a person’s mood in various
ways. People’s actions take place within interpersonal contexts and their decisions and
15
beliefs are not only shaped by their own but others also (Rothman, Klein, & Cameron,
2013). For instance, in relation to depression, a study revealed when women became
depressed their depressive moods suppressed their mate’s aggressive behavior (Foran, et
al. 2012).
Hudson, Neighbors, Geronimus, & Jackson (2012) found in their study on African
American women and depression, that the status of marriage did not reduce a women’s
tendency to attract depression. Women tend to exert more emotional energy in a marriage
than men. As a result, marital dissatisfaction is a larger contributor to depression among
women than men. In retrospect, the same study revealed greater likelihood of depression
among married African American men than single men, which suggests being unmarried
is a buffer against contracting depression among African American males.
Encounters with anger and unresolved emotional conflict validate the unpleasant
personality experience. Within the context of marriage, personality and emotions are best
understood as a learned process of managing them through lived experiences. These lived
experiences are tested through the process of emotional control, comfort level with
emotional expressions, skill of recognizing and talking through emotions, and
expressions of empathy. In light of this view, emotional challenges are one of the greatest
determinants of a marriages solidity, value, and closeness (Schulz, & Waldinger, 2010).
This is why marital displeasure is closely associated with an individual’s perceived
ability to adequately deal with personality conflict. Although data exists on marital
satisfaction, limited data is available on perceptions of marital dissatisfaction among
African American couples.
16
Purpose of the Study
The purpose of this study is to explore the perceptions of marital dissatisfaction
and how these contribute to the formation of dissatisfaction among African American
married couples. This study will provide an understanding of how couples thoughts,
feelings, and perceptions are attributed to perceived marital dissatisfaction within various
social and relational environments. Within the United States, the divorce to marriage ratio
among its population is 50%. In 2008, there were 7.1 marriages per 1,000 and 3.5
divorces per 1,000 people within the United States population. The perception of the
institution of marriage is changing from a mutual union to a personal choice (Aniciete,
and Soloski, 2011).
The results of this study could lead to positive social change by providing insights
into ways marital dissatisfaction can be understood, monitored, and positively lived out in
mutually harmonious interrelationships. Insights from this study will help couples
promote a sense of healthy self-awareness and appreciation of others in relation to
dealing with difficult personality conflicts and interrelationships contributing to
unhealthy personal and mutual growth. Awareness of these perceptions into marital
dissatisfaction will provide a step toward dismantling dysfunctional communication and
irrational happiness toward promoting a broader appreciation of oneself and humanity
within a global socio-cultural context.
This study will provide a framework for understanding the beliefs and emotional
responses that contribute to issues of marital dissatisfaction and will also identify
potential coping strategies for addressing those issues. If greater understanding of the
17
emotions contributing to marital dissatisfaction could be identified and understood, then
future research could help reduce negative views within emotionally challenged
interrelationships. Future research could also help contribute to healthier perspectives
among couples and families and also aid in reducing biases in conflict that could lead to
positive social change. Though causes of marital dissatisfaction among White ethnic
groups are well established, perceptions of attachment, coping, and socioeconomic status
among African American couples could offer some clues to an area that should be studied
in this population. A sample of African American couples will be examined to explore
their perceptions in these promising areas.
Research Questions
RQ1. How do African American couples define their marriage?
RQ2. How do coping mechanism and attachment styles contribute to marital
dissatisfaction?
RQ3. How do African American couples feel their socioeconomic experiences
can influence their marriage?
A spouse’s marital distress creates increased dissatisfaction and more hostility in
the relationship. Within this study, methods of an actor/partner model of measuring
couples marital distress scores to obtain greater interdependent results will be used. This
means that resultant scores from both individuals can provide information about the other
persons score and both scores can also be considered interdependently of the other. The
utilization of the actor/partner method is one of the best measurements of behavioral and
marital functioning and reveals a key link between a person’s marital adjustment and
18
psychopathology. Consistent findings revealed an individual’s personality can impact
their own marital adjustment; this is known as the actor effects. Additionally, one’s
behavior can affect the other partner’s marital adjustment (Knabb & Vogt, 2011). In the
past, results from partner effect analysis tests like this proved beneficial in discovering
associations between wives’ marital satisfaction and husbands’ depressive symptoms
(Miller et al., 2013).
Theoretical Framework
The two theoretical foundations for this study will examine how themes of
behavior are associated with Marital Distress, in particular perceptual and emotional
themes between dimensions and expressions of behavior among African American
couples.
The theoretical framework is a phenomenological study. Creswell (2009) noted
that a qualitative framework phenomenological study is the best method available
because it helps to link together the ideas of participants within the same shared
experience. Other forms of data will be analyzed in conjunction with semi-instructed
interviews, which enable the researcher and participant within the interview process to
collectively construct the meaning of the phenomenon through the interview process
experience (Doutre, Green, & Knight-Elliott, 2013) which are inherent in the theme of
phenomenological studies.
Although there is research on positive behavioral expressions and marital
satisfaction, there is no research on coping, attachment, and socioeconomic factors and
marital dissatisfaction among marital distressed couples. Incoherent themes of unresolved
19
conflict, poor support, communication, and quality interactions are themes of
personalities that are synonymous with marital dissatisfaction (Lavner, & Bradbury,
2012).
The aim of this study is to examine themes between African American couple’s
perceived dissatisfaction and actual marital distress and how these are perceived within
couple’s shared experiences. Additional research will be discussed in regards to social,
personal, and environmental factors and their contribution to marital dissatisfaction under
stressful conditions. Behavioral changes of individuals are the result of personal,
environmental, and social factors (Gordon, 2011).
Phenomenological and qualitative theoretical foundations used for this study.
These theories will examine various themes of personalities within shared experiences
and perceived dissatisfaction under stressful conditions in terms of understanding
couple’s coping and attachment styles under negative environments and how these
contribute to emotional dissatisfaction in marriage interrelationships. The
phenomenological approach involves identifying phenomena and uses participant’s
responses to open-ended questions to describe how the participants live out the
phenomena in everyday life (Grimes, Haskins, & Paisley, 2013). Qualitative study is the
collection of first person material to provide general scientific understanding and
knowledge of a particular person’s experience or issue (Wertz, 2014).
The theoretical framework of perceived dissatisfaction is observable within
shared experiences and is an appropriate way to measure learned behavior under various
conditions. Additional research in this paper will review attachment styles, personality,
20
and emotional dissatisfied behaviors in the context of coping and shared experiences
within various family, socioeconomic, and interpersonal settings within the Literature
Review section of Chapter 2.
Nature of the Study
An exploratory qualitative method study was used among African American
couples who have been at least married one year, to provide information and to identify
perceived contributors to marital dissatisfaction among African American couples as a
result of their encounters with various conditions within the marital relationship. The
qualitative method is essential for this study because the phenomenological study and
qualitative survey tests rely on the personal experience of marital distress in the
participants’ lives, which are best expressed in categorical not continuous terms. The
qualitative approach is a type of research that seeks to understand, examine, and describe
the experiences of people or issues under investigation (Haskins et al., 2013). Participants
within the desired age range of 30 to 55 years tend to have a clear sense of what
dissatisfied problems and marital distress mean. Crisis during the middle age is a period
of deepening one’s meaning of existence (Weaver, 2009).
In retrospect, quantitative study (or) regression analysis would not give the in-
depth information needed from the interview for this selected African American study
group. Qualitative studies are designed to look at perspectives from others in order to
experience meaning through the eyes and thoughts of others (Hallberg, 2013).
Quantitative studies are more concerned with obtaining perspectives through statistical
analyses to prove the validity of findings (Osborne, 2013). Generalizations cannot be
21
performed in the same way as results based on quantitative studies. Quantitative studies
are more often based on random samples from a defined group. Qualitative study is based
on in-depth information from a strategically selected study group that can be tested in
other contexts to validate its results. It focuses on gaining such in-depth understanding
and explores meanings and processes of everyday life (Hallberg, 2013).
Causal effects of European couples in terms of marital distress have been studied,
however there is a lack of literature written to help understand marital distress within the
context of the African American experience in relation to coping, attachment, and
socioeconomic factors. When researching new topics and unexplored ground, qualitative
studies should be used at the beginning, then followed up with quantitative studies (such
as a regression analysis) to help construct equation models from which causal effects can
be estimated (Berk, 2010). A regression analysis does not work in this case of plowing
new ground for new information and understanding in terms of illustrating, and
explaining African American distress within the experience of coping difficulties,
attachment styles, and the influence of various socioeconomic factors.
Research methodology will use interviews and open-ended questionnaires that
provide qualitative thematic information. Friborg and Rosenvinge (2013) stated that
open-ended questions help research come as close to the natural conversation within a
survey and provide more in depth explanation of the human motives behind the
occurrence of phenomena. The interview questionnaires allow individuals to account for
their values, behavior, mannerism, and viewpoints. Various methods of research excel in
22
the area of exploring themes of complicated phenomena from a variety of different
perspectives (Gambrel & Butler, 2013).
To discover generalizations between perceived distress and marital
dissatisfaction, a qualitative design involving in-depth interviews and observational
themes was used among community volunteer couples to examine trends between
expressivity of unpleasant emotions and their association with marital distress. The
“why” question within qualitative study should allow individuals to give accounts for
their values, behavior, mannerism, and viewpoints. Qualitative research overall is
generally defined as a method of gaining understanding of the meaning of behavior
(Gordon, 2011). Data was gathered from an anonymous group of African American
married individuals to attempt to understand the meaning of their perceptions of marital
dissatisfaction within various coping, attachment, and socioeconomic experiences.
Specifically among African Americans, negative interactions within their
environment can increase the likelihood of poor internal and external problems over time
(Taylor, 2010). For this reason, most of the key research terms used were: African
American relationships, dissatisfaction and marriage, coping and socioeconomic factors,
relationship issues, marital dissatisfaction, emotional dissatisfaction, African American
couples, and combination search terms of poverty, divorce, conflict, satisfaction and
African American marriages. The search engines that were used for this dissertation were
accessed through the Walden University online library. Most of the data were obtained
through the psych info search engine.
23
Definition of Terms
It is important that the reader is familiar with several terms used throughout this
dissertation. In order to facilitate this understanding the below-listed definitions are
provided to assist the reader.
Unpleasant emotions are described as a chronic tendency of an individual’s
experience of negative thoughts and feelings of anxiety, anger, depression, self-
consciousness, impulsiveness, and vulnerability. Individuals who experience these on a
chronic level are more prone to emotional distress (Wasylkiw, Fabrigar, Rainboth, Reid,
& Steen, 2010).
Attachment is described as the relational bond between mother and child and the
secure emotional bond between two individuals. Character traits are listed as support,
care, trustworthiness, and personal acceptance. The three types of attachment styles are
security, anxiousness, and avoidant attachments. Resolved and unresolved attachments
evolve in the individual as they develop from a child into adulthood, though unresolved
attachments are more associated with past traumatic experiences (Reiner & Spangler,
2013).
Research from a social-cognitive view of attachment describes this emotional
behavior among interrelationships as a change in one’s feeling about how attached they
are in relation to their positive or negative mental perception of their attachment. As a
result, positive relationship climates resulted in increased commitment among partners
and inadvertently increased perceived feelings of secure attachments. Couple’s measured
levels of attachment feelings and modeled behaviors revealed increased feelings of
24
attachment security among partners who promoted more positivity within the
relationship, decreased anxiety, and avoidant tendencies. Partners who showed more
negative behaviors proved to have decreased levels of attachment security, which
increase anxiousness (Adams & Baptist, 2012).
Interdependency is defined as the shared affection between mutually different
individuals and the way they express this mutuality through their way of thinking,
emoting, or exhibiting behavior. Interdependency is a major element of romantic
relationships (De Smet, Loeys, & Buysse, 2013).
Efficient Coping Behavior is a type of behavior personified in secure marital
couples. This secure coping behavior stems from a secure base perception of parents
during childhood and extends well into the mature child’s adult relationship (Woodhouse,
Dykas, & Cassidy, 2009).
There have been many studies on coping, attachment, and measurement of
individual couple’s differences and situational influences and how couples disengage
during conflict. Multiple studies reveal that disengagement (an attachment behavior) is
heightened especially during times where couples are having difficulty interacting during
a distressful situation (Barry & Lawrence, 2013)
Irrational Coping Attachments are preoccupied, dismissing, and fearful
attachments. A preoccupied attached person has negative feelings about the self and
positive feelings about others, uneasiness with feelings of receiving love, and fear of
being accepted by others. Dismissing attachment, they think they deserve love but fear
25
others will reject them. Fearful, attached people tend to have a negative sense of self-
worth and think others will reject them (Ehrenberg, Robertson, & Pringle, 2012).
Sexual infidelity is one of the largest reasons couples choose divorce. Over 50%
to 65% of couples that therapists see have experienced infidelity. The three types of
infidelities are emotional affairs (time and attention, to another person), sexual affairs
(sexual activity with another person), and combined affairs (both of the above). These
affairs are the primary threat to marriages and the major contributor to irreconcilable
differences in marital relationships. The four levels of how people perceive themselves
and the image of someone else determine ways adults sense they are valued, their
expectations of the other person, and their view of the presence of others within the
relationship. These four levels of how individuals balance anxiety and avoidance in
relationships are secure (high self-concept and high view of others), fearful (low self-
concept, negative perceptions of others) dismissing (high self-concept and low
perceptions of others), and preoccupied (high concept of others, low self-concept). Those
who struggle with dependency issues emotionally respond and retract as a form of
protecting themselves. People who cannot handle their anxiety will have less control over
their emotions (Fish, Pavkov, Wetchler, & Bercik, 2012), which if not handled or
addressed properly can lead to infidelity. One recent study suggested that since African
American and Hispanic cultures are always on the move within their culturally setting to
emotionally and physically survive, they view having an acquaintance on the side as a
form of survival (Macauda, et al., 2011).
26
Actor/Partner Independence Model (APIM) is a research measure that helps
discover how independent couples react and how these influences affect
interrelationships. For instance, a person may exhibit selfish motives in choices and
values that contribute to their own personal satisfaction, but may also be very open and
unselfish in certain situations that increase their mate’s relationship satisfaction. The
actor part of the APIM measures the effect an individual’s development contributes to
current behavior. The partner’s effect describes the influence the actor’s behavior has on
their partner (Rogers, Bidwell, & Wilson, 2005).
Emotional Expressed Behavior is defined as the act of allowing someone to
express the way they feel, reveal their feelings, and have the time to express these
feelings verbally and nonverbally (Senol-Durak & Durak, 2011).
Power styles are learned behaviors in relationships developed over time. In terms
of marital relationships, Rogers, Bidwell, & Wilson (2005) suggested that power is
usually understood from the perspective of resources and is used to gain control in most
relationships. The power of emotions, power perceptions, problem solving ability,
intimidation of others, or persuasive ability to exert power within relationships are other
major power plays that individuals play out in relationships.
Assumptions
There are several assumptions, delimitations, and limitations associated with this
research study. First, it was assumed that instruments used within this paper were used to
determine if the constructs of interest were reliable and valid. It was also assumed that the
interview completed by each participant was accurate and honest.
27
Another assumption of this paper assumes there are factors other than personal
awareness that also impact the success of couples exhibiting emotionally dissatisfied
personalities in distressful relationships.
This paper assumes couples are likely to exhibit some form of attachment or
coping difficulty, are likely to interact with someone else of the opposite sex, and that a
social context exists that may produce some form of emotional or behavioral conflict
Delimitations
The population was delimited to African American married individuals who were
married at least one year and members of churches and social organizations within
Mecklenburg County of Charlotte, North Carolina. All participants who met these criteria
were allowed to participate in the study.
This study focused on individual experiences alone rather than empirical data to
answer the research questions through a qualitative study method. Observational
interview results within this report depended solely on participant perceptions of
experiences and events. All results included some subjectivity, and there was no
verifiable guarantee of accuracy.
The study did not include a quantitative analysis of any demographic data or its
potential linkages to the experiences or outcomes of clients or their identified qualities.
Although these factors may have had an effect on the experiences of clients, demography
had been determined to be outside of the bounds of the study because of the complexity
of the arguments that link to couples’ emotional interrelationships and distressful
interrelationship cultures. This study’s focal point viewed distress or dissatisfaction
28
through the lens of mental, physical, and situational observations of distress not
demographics. Past research supports the hypothesis that marital distress has a strong
association with levels of mental and physical psychopathology (Lebow, Chambers,
Christensen, & Johnson, 2012).
Because this project established only observational results, no causation could be
determined. Additionally, all data on the nature of individual emotionally dissatisfied
behavior would be limited to the participants’ own perceptions and would not be
quantified or collected for the purpose of this study.
The sample population referred to herein are from the Charlotte, North Carolina
area. Because this study was limited to one location, including this community context
and the institution alone, it may be limited in its generalizability and transferability.
This investigation was also limited to one instrument, the interview detailed in the
Appendix. This means that there may be factors of a person’s individual mental health
and family that were not captured within each study
Limitations
This study was limited to heterosexual African American couples who were
married at least one year. This research was limited in several regards. One limitation was
the South County Regional library setting in which the interview research was given and
conducted in an urban setting in Mecklenburg County leaving out a large number of
African Americans who resided in rural areas and other geographic locations outside of
Mecklenburg County and the state of North Carolina. This omission could produce
results that cannot be generalized back to the population of the United States.
29
Another limitation was the exclusion of single African Americans and couples of
same sex marriages. The exclusion of other ethnic population’s limited key insight cross-
culturally in terms of perceptions of dissatisfaction among various cultures that could
give vital information across cultures that could be beneficial in extensive personality
trait studies.
Another key limitation was the possibility of flawed responses on romantic self-
reported interview questionnaires. Fraley, Heffernan, Vicary, & Brumbaugh (2011)
suggested that self-reports on adult relationships are ambiguous and that data can be
limited to general references of relationships and not specific relationship experiences.
Another limitation was due to volunteers’ consent to answer questions in an
honest manner, which could lead to discrepant responses. Reduction of the above
limitations was minimized by assuring that all of the volunteers understood the
importance of completing all surveys and that honesty in their responses was required.
Participants were given adequate pre-interview instructions and were provided assistance
throughout the completion of the interview if they needed additional support to
understand instructions.
Significance of the Study
This research provided more information about how to identify coping and
personality traits that contribute to marital dissatisfaction and discord. As a result,
couples will begin to implement new ways of coping with behavioral responses that
formerly increased mate distress and overall relationship satisfaction.
30
This study may lead to positive social change. It is the primary hope of the
researcher that participants gain renewed insight into ways their personalities and
emotions can be understood, monitored, and positively lived out in a mutually
harmonious interrelationship environment. Furthermore, this study aims to identify
perceived imposed barriers to a person’s self-concept and quality of mental health. The
end result will promote a sense of positive social change through development of a
healthy self-awareness and appreciation of others in relation to coping and living with
difficult marriage interrelationships that contribute to unhealthy personal and mutual
growth. This type of awareness will provide a step toward dismantling dysfunctional
communication and relational happiness that will promote a broader appreciation of the
individual and humanity within a global socio-cultural context.
This study will provide a framework for understanding the beliefs and emotional
responses that contribute to issues of marital dissatisfaction and will identify potential
coping strategies for addressing those issues.
Summary
The purpose of this qualitative study was to explore the various ways African
American married couples internalize and exhibit unpleasant emotions and marital
dissatisfied behavior in mutual relationships. In addition, some individuals will form (as a
result of exposure within these environments) socio-sexual dissatisfaction and various
attachment styles and from these experiences, research will retrieve how individual’s
thoughts, feelings, and behaviors contribute to marital dissatisfaction. Results from this
study will provide increased awareness for further research into developing behavioral
31
approaches to understand and address marital dissatisfied concerns and the perceptions
behind such theme of thought.
In Chapter Two, the researcher will review relevant research literature and
expand the conceptual framework. Through observation of couples’ family attachment,
socioeconomic factors, and coping styles in various settings, the literature examined will
explore various perceptions associated with unpleasant emotions and how these views
contribute to the development of dissatisfaction between African American married
individuals. The literature will help alleviate current gaps in the practical application of
theory in clinical practice. The therapy sessions will provide participants to think more
critically about their own behavior and personalities that promote distress within their
interrelationships. These sessions will also help participants become more proactive in
decreasing systematic destructive patterns of negative emotions among their partners,
which can lead to increased martial satisfaction and intimacy within the relationship.
32
Chapter 2: Literature Review
Introduction
The purpose of this paper was to explore perceptions of marital dissatisfactions
among African American couples and the emotional perceptions synonymous among
African American couples that contribute to marital dissatisfaction.
In Chapter 2, I present a review and discussion of the perceptions of marital
dissatisfaction among African American couples. I begin with an analysis of how
attachment, socioeconomic factors, and coping styles contribute to forming
dissatisfaction within marital interrelationships. The ways that people form attachments,
cope, and respond to various socioeconomic factors determines what behavior will be
expressed, so that a person’s response is in direct proportion to his or her perceptual level
of intensity or variable experiences encountered (Berenbaum, Bredemeier, Boden,
Thompson, & Milanak, 2011).
I also considered literature on family attachment styles, coping history, and social
attachments. I placed major emphasis on gathering literature pertaining to coping
attachment responses in stressful environments and analyzing how external and internal
influences contribute to the formation of dissatisfied behavior and marital distress.
Before exploring current data on African Americans, it is necessary to discuss the
current coping, attachment, and socioeconomic factors among the general population of
African Americans that help explain the dissatisfaction issues among African American
couple’s marital relationships. This chapter is organized as follows: (a) family
environment, (b) attachment styles, (c) history of learned behaviors, (d) socioeconomic
33
factors, (d) coping styles, (e) internal and external influences, (f) controlling
personalities, and (g) emotional abuse.
My sourcing strategies were obtained through online scholarly journals at Walden
University’s resource library. Information was obtained from key title searches to include
African American, African American distress, African American dissatisfaction, African
American emotions, African American learned behavior, African American heritage,
emotional dissatisfaction, cultural distress, cultural dissatisfaction, marriage
satisfaction, slavery and marriage, African American divorce, African American abuse,
African American control, African American depression, depression, African American
attachment, African American coping, African American poverty, African American
perception, African American phenomenological, African American experience, African
American family, individual, interpersonal coping and attachment styles, and African
American socioeconomic factors. I used Psychinfo, and SocIndex database and used key
words such as African American, African American distress, African American marriage
distress, African American emotions, African American learned behavior, African
American heritage, emotional distress, African American emotional abuse, emotional
distress, emotional dissatisfaction, cultural distress, cultural dissatisfaction, marriage
satisfaction, marriage dissatisfaction, African American slavery, White privilege, African
American divorce, African American sexual abuse, controlling personalities, African
American depression, and African American perception to perform my key word
searches.
34
The Family Environment
When examining contributing factors that alter behavior, one of the most vital
aspects to consider, especially among African Americans, was the influence of family, in
terms of the formation of emotional instability, family mood, and neurodevelopmental
mood disorders derive from both inherited and environmental factors (Berenbaum et al.,
2011).
Family influences such as attitudes and cultural perspectives can carry over into
adulthood relationships. Factors such as security and validity of feelings received through
former family relationships and intermarriage perspectives are large factors contributing
to family solidarity. Other familial factors, such as perception surrounding feelings in
regard to one’s ethnicity, are established by one’s prior social context. As children grow
up they share experiences and circumstances with their parents. As a result, children’s
behavior in later life can be viewed as an extension of their parents’ behaviors transferred
onto successive generations. Not only do parents contribute to their children through
transference of various behavior patterns and ways they act, but most behaviors that
parents transfer come from the parent’s pre-adult years. Within various cultural
environments, behaviors are transferrable. For instance, behaviors of children raised
among various socioeconomic factors are altered by prior modeled behavior within
specific social contexts. Parents who are highly educated usually seek to expose
themselves and their families to people of similar educational aspirations. These customs
are direct results of interfamily transference of cultural perceptions, which transform
individual beliefs (Huijnk & Liefbroer, 2012).
35
The ideology of the family is a cultural schema of interrelated ideas and thoughts.
Family schemas shape the belief system of the way people interpret how a family
appears. A family’s belief is defined as belief in the capacity of the family to work
together to promote each member’s growth and welfare (Bandura, Caprara, Barbaranelli,
Regalia, & Scabini, 2011).
Such shaping has historical roots in the African American view of the patriarchal
family. Wade and Rochlen (2013) stated that the view of patriarchal marriage as a stable
model of the man as the breadwinner with the women in a role of subservience does not
work for the African American male. This rejection has historical ramifications
synonymous with African American rejection of access within the American enterprise
system, and it has deeper roots in the rejection of the European patriarchal marital role of
the husband. The reality of slavery and its emasculation of the African American male
negatively affect’s males who never feel they can measure up to the European patriarchal
breadwinner model. The experience of slavery was an issue of emasculation of the
African American male’s patriarchal manhood. This experience contributed to African
American males’ perceptions of the White patriarchal model as irrelevant to family life.
European male gender roles conflict with African American males’ views of their own
masculinity, especially in tandem with the discrimination and racial oppression that they
encounter from White European males.
Slavery and enslavement taught African Americans that their view of the
institution of marriage was not necessarily the central core of love, mutual sexuality, and
family life. This is especially true among African American females who were mostly
36
enslaved and forced to make decisions in the best interest of survival of the family. Hill
(2006) noted that making such decisions often meant rejecting marriage for the sake of
salvaging the family union. Over the years, the European patriarchal families will to
survive, at the expense of relegating subpar matriarchal positions of African American
women during slavery, has contributed to a significant reduction of acceptance of
marriage as a two-parent union among some African American women and men. African
American perceptions and external judgments of marriage have created several
unpleasant emotions and behaviors.
Exhibiting unpleasant emotions and perceptions is one behavioral expression that
can be mistaken as dissatisfaction during early adolescence and later adult life. Mothers
and fathers tend to show more affection to a child with a joyful or affectionate personality
and in families where the father showed more unpleasant emotions, the association
between the mother’s joy and child’s affection was weaker (Barry & Kochanska, 2010).
Some couples seek resolve in becoming more extroverted in their
interrelationships as a way to cure unpleasant emotions and obtain some form of
satisfaction. Marriages with more extravert personalities produce greater likelihood of
marriage satisfaction; however, the main contributing factors to higher mate satisfaction
were greater similarities between mate differences and dissatisfaction not extroversive
behavior. True satisfaction results are not based on whether either mate is extroversive or
introversive (O’Rourke, Claxton, Chou, Smith, & Hadjistavropoulos, 2011). This seemed
to suggest high similarities of satisfaction are associated with mutual similarities in
differences rather than extroversive personalities.
37
There is limited empirical and theory-driven research in the area of attachment
styles and how they contribute to emotional dissatisfaction. Research tends to be
inconclusive and difficult to find. Dinero, Conger, Shaver, Widaman, and Larsen-Rife
(2011) indicated fundamental limitations inherent in data regarding family attachments
and forms of psychological treatment, particularly among romantic attachments.
Although information on the important influence parents have on the early formation of a
child’s attachment patterns is present, it is hard to find data on parental influence on
romantic attachment methods. In addition, a gap exists in literature on attachment issues
and how they contribute to marital dissatisfaction among African American marital
relationships.
Limited data have more to do with the inconsistent way people attach within
changing environments and the unpleasant impulses exhibited as a response to them.
Attachment styles are a by-product of an individual’s previous and present interpersonal
circumstances. Most adult attachment behavior consists of our anxiousness fear of being
abandoned and the discomfort couples feel as a result of a lack of closeness (Benson,
Sevier, & Christensen, 2013). Attachments accommodate and assimilate in various new
ways over time.
Attachment Styles
Attachments originate from emotional exchanges between the child and the
parent. As the child develops overtime, repeated exposure to parents emotional
exchanges are internalized within the child. These internalizations are exhibited from the
child through formation of attachment styles through expectancies, self-concepts, and
38
beliefs of others. Four types of dominant personalities contribute to formation of
attachments. These four types of dominant personalities are secure, preoccupied,
dismissive, and fearful avoidance. Secure attachments are individuals who portray a
sense of personal self-confidence and a strong sense of self-worth and worth of others.
Preoccupied attachments are individuals who have a high positive perception of others
and a low sense of self. These types of people have an exaggerated sense of needing
others and a high anxiety of dependence. They are preoccupied with worrying about how
important people in their life fail to care about them. Dismissive attachments have a
positive self-perception but a negative view of others. They tend to have high self-esteem
and low anxiety. They tend to disregard the significance of relationships and find it
difficult to trust others. Those with fearful avoidance attachment view themselves and
others in derogatory ways. They have high anxiety and avoidance levels. These
individuals desire to be in a relationship, but avoid them because of their fear of rejection.
They believe their rejection is synonymous with their feelings of unworthiness to be
loved and the lack of desire for others to provide them with it (Fiori, Consedine, &
Magai, 2009). These four types of personalities all contribute to African American
personalities and behaviors within the context of interpersonal relationships.
Secure attachments, in terms of relationship satisfaction, describe individuals in
secure attached relationships and find their overall relationship satisfying in themselves
and others Ehrenberg et al. (2012). A person with a secure attachment personality has a
high sense of self-worth and a comfortable level of closeness to other people. This ideal
of secure attachment and closeness takes time. In terms of relationships, romantic
39
partners first visualize their partners for proximity, a safe haven, then as a secure base of
attachment, which only occurs after 2 years of being in a committed relationship with that
person (Fagundes, & Schindler, 2012).
Preoccupied attachments are common in the African American relationship
experience. African Americans have a low sense of self and a high view of others. This is
particularly true for African American young males who are peer pressured to conform to
certain behaviors which include being tough and athletic, not participating in school, and
being consumed by their physical appearance (Roberts-Douglass & Curtis-Boles, 2013).
Preoccupied attachments are realized realities among many African American couples
and their interrelationships. There is a direct correlation between avoidance and the way
individuals view their environment and treat themselves. In Stagnor’s (2001) experiment,
he suggested if one provides information about other’s long held beliefs of African
Americans, this would produce change in the way African Americans were socially
perceived. As a result, this would produce stronger beliefs over time within the in-group
consensus, and resistance to change among participants when consensus supported their
own stereotype beliefs. This research hypothesizes within environments where
participants have a low self-concept and high collective public appeal people will be
more likely to change their perception after being exposed to the majority external
opinions. Individuals enter into relationships with long standing perceptions and
assumptions learned over time about specific groups of people and these beliefs can
permeate through time and be seen as truths. In the context of relationship and emotions,
40
it is what people think and feel and what they believe that is the major force behind
preoccupied attachments (Rahimi & Strube, 2007).
Dismissive attachments are found to be more prevalent among older African
American people. In a study performed among 800 African American and European
White Americans adults, 75% of the group was classified as dismissive avoidance and
only 21% were secure. Additionally, those between the ages of 65 to 86 were 22-30%
avoidant and 55-61% secure. The results suggested that those between the ages of 18 to
66 had anxious attachments that were more intrinsically relative. Men and women
between the ages of 15 to 87 showed that dismissive and secure attachment increased
among those who were older while preoccupied attachments declined. Dismissive
attachments prevail as a prominent attachment style, specifically because of African
Americans encounters with racism, prejudice, and acculturation issues. African American
children showed more dismissive behavior than European Americans, and between the
ages of 15 to 54 were more likely to express avoidant and anxious attachment behavior
(Fiori, Consedine, and Magai, 2009).
Fearful avoidance attachments are representative of a low sense of self and
others. Among African American youth this avoidance style is seen through encounters
with systemic stereotypes, which prompts the fear of being judged either as under-
educated or non-intellectual. This fearful experience has caused youth to not perform as
well within academic environments in relation to their White counterparts and to
formulate a sense of nihilism in response to the anti-intellectual images of African
Americans through social media venues (Kelly, Maynigo, Wesley, & Durham, 2013).
41
Insecure attachment patterns from parents during childhood increase the
likelihood of these insecure behaviors on the adult child’s offspring; secure attached
relationships decrease the likelihood of such transference. Attachment-figure transfers
occur during the course of personal development between childhood and adulthood
(Zhang, Chan, & Teng, 2011).
Fearful avoidant attachments among White predominant cultures can produce
several problems with how Black couples view their relationship with Whites and how
they view themselves. Such self-hatred and hatred of others can lead to forms of rejection
and personal attacks. Flaskerud (2011) stated Blacks have seen historical evidence of
such hatred, rejection, and personal attacks through their confinement to reservations are
ghettos, slavery, and systematic slaughters of characterizing their clothing and physical
features as derogatory. Expressed anger and frustration toward other Blacks reinforce the
reality of the traumatic effects of racism and class oppression most African Americans
sense as daily realities. African Americans must begin anew to value themselves and
ensure our families become strong. Without this, African Americans cannot expect to be
well-functioning individuals.
Attachment and parental influences have a major influence on sibling behavior as
well. Parental attachments are defined when a person experiences or perceives threat.
This then activates the attachment system, which causes a person to perceive the absence
or presence of a secure attachment figure. If an individual perceives that a secure figure is
present over time, an individual forms anxious and avoidant strategies in response to the
absence or presence of the secure figure. Parental figures are mainly responsible for
42
shaping attachment perceptions. Furthermore, an individual’s attachment perception
during infancy is predictive of the emotional quality the individual will exhibit in adult
relationships (Dinero, Conger, Shaver, Widaman, & Larsen-Rife, 2011).
The way people perceive attachments contributes to the level of distress or
solidarity within their relationship. Mental perceptions are formed from prior individual
experiences and the level of closeness to others. These views contribute to future ways
people respond to others whom they perceive they are close or distant from. Married
couples react differently within the attachment process as a result of their commitment to
their partner. Attachment insecurities have greater association with personality traits that
are synonymous with attachment and infidelity issues. People who are dating carry on
with the idea or act of infidelity to avoid commitment, whereas married couples feign
infidelity to increase the intimate relationship with the marriage partner. Attachment
therapies, such as family therapy and focus group intervention, along with being
responsive to partner’s attachment concerns, are vital ways to reduce marriage attachment
infidelity and distress (Russell, Baker, & McNulty, 2013).
Individuals in marriages are subjected to internal and external influences that alter
personalities in various ways. Behavior can be activated at any time in response to a
sense of threat. When this happens, individuals immediately turn to others for a sense of
support regardless of the presence of internal strength. These threats ignite attachment
responses as a result of post encounters from internal and external sources. Romantic
relations are incubators for attachment relationships and intimacy, which are both triggers
of perceived needs of attachments. In this way, intimacy and identity are formed as a
43
result of partnerships made in response to interactive and interrelated encounters. This
inadvertently helps both couples increase their social and emotional awareness of
themselves as a result of these internal and external interrelationship experiences. Context
is one of the primary factors that alters peer interrelationships and major influence on
how people cope and respond to various conflicting situations (Culow, 2007). All of
these ways of coping result from peer experiences or social context.
Personality progressions have a large impact on human emotions and behavior.
Most of our accumulated responses are direct results of encounters within environments
that are destructive, aggressive, and antisocial. Hyperactive influences to these
encounters are direct results of our internalized emotions. Our emotional influences
originate from internalized fears, worries, psychosomatic symptoms, and influences that
feed our depression (Slobodskaya, 2011). This kind of low self-image and distrust
learned from family systems can lead to the formation of unhealthy perceptions of
intimate relationships, especially among women.
One such example is the experience of an African American woman named
Amereh Shabazz-Bridges (2011) who stated that growing up as a woman meant growing
up without knowledge of herself and her body. As a result, this set her up to make bad
decisions and many unhealthy choices. What she learned about sex as a child prompted
her to use sex as a way to secure a husband. The message she heard learned from her
parents was that if she wanted a husband she would have to have sex with him. Before
marriage no one discussed sex with her, the use of condoms or other birth control
measures. Amereh finds herself as a Black woman with multiple fathers of her children, a
44
survivor of sexual abuse and domestic violence, and someone with trust issues, and
confusion about love and sex. African American women have the highest rate of children
with different fathers. In addition, she stated her reason for having children from different
fathers was the result of unprotected sex, and the hope that her life choices would end
with more positive results. This case study demonstrates how our perceptions and
distressed beliefs are transferred to us from culture and family systems.
Distress is inherited and learned from parent-child interrelationship experiences
within the family system. Children learn interdependence and transfer these perceptions
well into their adult years. For instance a child’s secure attached feelings are in direct
correlation with the proximity of the attachment figure, especially during times of
distress. Comfort is conferred to the child from the presence of the attachment figure
during times of difficulties, for early attachment is a large contributor to a child’s
socialization and moral behavior (Kok, van IJzendoorn, Linting, Bakermans‐Kranenburg,
Tharner, Luijk, and Tiemeier, 2013). As a result, the child reenacts the same behavior in
future interactions with the parent. In contrast, family theorists Barry and Kochanska
(2010) suggested that most parents who are distressed focus on the child’s shortcomings
as a distractive alternative to reduce marital tension. This is a critical issue among
African American children because among abused children of all ethnic populations,
African American children show less sympathy toward parents who abuse them
(Patterson, 2006). Thus, in African American families with a history of post parental and
child anger, marital satisfaction may be altered and transference could manifest in future
parental-child relations and alter marital and family harmony.
45
History of Learned Behaviors
In terms of marital dissatisfaction, satisfaction decreases over time in
relationships. Women and men seem to express greater levels of discomfort and less
positivity in disagreeable environments. Partner support and warmth and maintaining low
conflict environments had a stronger correlation to marital satisfaction among African
American couples than European American couples (Cutrona, Russell, Burzette, Wesner,
& Bryant, 2011).
Prior marital conflicts among parents also negatively alter their children’s social
development. Parental history of exposing children to hostile and negative environments
stands as the most significant contributing factor of psychopathological development
among their offspring. A parent’s frightening experience toward a child can undermine
their social emotional development and create barriers of adjustment difficulties well into
adulthood (Dexter, Wong, Stacks, Beeghly, & Barnett, 2013). Since children adapt to and
learn their behaviors from their parents, prior parental discord can cause their children to
adapt negative interrelationships and low self-confidence As a result, children form
emotional insecurities that cause them to lack the skills to regulate their own emotions,
form negative associations of their conflict with their sense of well-being, and have low
self-efficacy in dealing with conflict situations. There is a direct correlation with the
context African American children grew up in and the impact this has on their behavior
(Sanchez, Lambert, & Cooley-Strickland, 2013).
Parental marital conflict affects boys and girls differently. Girls view marital
distress in a more distressed way than boys and there are variations in the way each reacts
46
within the context of experiencing marriage conflict (Azam & Hanif, 2011). This is
particularly true among African American adolescents who report more stressors and
challenges than their White counterparts, which puts them at a greater risk of
internalizing distress (Trask-Tate, Cunningham, & Lang-DeGrange, 2010).
Another form of negative attachment occurs when caregivers are hostile with their
children, which can lead to carryover traits into adult relationships that contribute to
relationship dissatisfaction. Expressions of criticism, verbal abuse, and humiliation from
caregivers send a message to the child that they are not worthy, are scarred, are
unlovable, and should serve the caregiver’s needs only. Emotional abuse in this context is
defined as a caregivers belittling, shaming, and rejecting a child. Emotional abuse can
severely hamper a child’s ability to learn and retain what they learn. Some forms of
emotional abuse among children include verbal anger, rejection, emotional neglect, and
psychological control (McCullough & Shaffer, 2014).
Control of one’s emotions is a major factor within various interrelationship
environments. The idea of emotional control describes the ability to control emotions
between the individual and another person. This ability to regulate emotions in
interrelationships is first experienced between the child and the emotional output from
one’s caregiver. If a child grows up in an environment that lacks emotional support, the
child will struggle with issues surrounding social competence and decreased peer
acceptance. Some children as a result of poor emotional caregiver history also have
problems exhibiting both verbal and non-verbal communication within interpersonal
relationship encounters, which can prevent later expressions of intimacy. Also, low self-
47
esteem is correlated to earlier parental and caregiver mistreatment. Formation of insecure
ways of stating intense emotions, understanding one’s own feelings, reluctance of getting
involved in healthy relationships, and lack of desire or being comfortable with intimacy
are all by-products of harmful caregiver adolescent emotional abuse (Kapeleris & Paivio,
2011). This viewpoint illustrates that disconnections within various situations can lead to
formations of difficult emotional feelings.
When individuals disconnect from situations, this can lead to the formation of
difficult emotional feelings. For instance, being emotionally disconnected can bring on
feelings of emotional isolation within social settings. Attachment theorists McClure and
Lydon (2014) suggested that these expectations are formed from early experiences, and
that the way people are reared has a large influence on the expectations, intentions, ways
of thinking, and actions in later life. These internalized ways of thinking assist
individuals in the task of working through social information in a selfish and effective
manner. Individuals who possess a self-serving manner tend to be less open minded. This
openness refers to individuals not being able to comprehend and retain new ideas and
revised inferences. The openness to new experiences would be an invaluable behavior for
developing a new relationship, revealing new personal aspects of themselves to others, or
adjusting typical behavior in response to others needs within mutual relationships.
Openness to new information can be interpreted as the ability of people to change as a
result of what they have learned or how they have distorted or ignored new information
to assimilate into preexisting unchanged thoughts. The true sign that people are not able
to make the adjustment to other differences and social information is an avoidant
48
personality. This personality resists openness from a personal motive of self-protection
and self-preservation.
One of the major contributors to African American distress in relationships is the
view of distrust of those who can help them. Nicolaidis (2010) stated that early during
childhood African Americans are taught not to trust the White system of care. Part of the
African American culture to not tell White people anything, inadvertently, causes African
Americans to see the health care system as biased.
Socioeconomic Factors
Past experiences of lack of access, racism, and trauma increase perceptions and
feelings of hopelessness among African Americans. African Americans are more likely to
experience hopelessness, with males being more likely to suffer from this than females.
Physical aggression develops early and persists longer among African Americans than
any other ethnic class. Anger among African American females is a by-product of
internalized feelings and emotional distress. As a result of these violent pasts, many
African Americans suffer from adolescent depression. Exposure or involvement with
violence during an early age, continue to be risk factors of hopelessness well into adult
age (Stoddard, Henly, Sieving, & Bolland, 2011).
Low socioeconomic factors can contribute to marital and family dissatisfaction
among African Americans. Families with fewer socioeconomic resources vary by race
and ethnicity. White mothers generally have more access to economic resources, live in
safer neighborhoods, and are more likely to have incomes above the poverty level than
African American and Hispanic women. Arguably, socioeconomic factors and
49
differences are the largest factor of racial and ethnic differences in marriage and family
stability (Hummer and Hamilton, 2010).
External stress among families is one of the most difficult environmental
contributors to couple distress. Stress affects marriages in two ways. Stress related causes
outside the marriage alternatively create stress within the marriage and reduces a person’s
ability to appropriately respond during times of stress. These stressors serve to shift
couple’s attention to a dissatisfied view of marriage that in turn hastens its disharmony.
Marriage unfolds within several contexts, which test the durability of the relationship.
Married couples that encounter more stressful events, indicate greater declines in
marriage satisfaction (Neff & Broady, 2011). For instance, if a spouse is experiencing
work place stress, at home the spouse may exhibit increased social isolation from the
spouse and increasingly internalize their emotions. (Neff, 2012) stated that stress
experiences negatively alter the way spouses respond and perceive negative events in the
relationship. When a person is exhausted as a result of feeling disconnected and
pressured, the ability to self-control is hard to maintain. If couples are distracted by
stressful events in response to life events, their ability to cope is significantly reduced and
their ability to respond to their spouse can be severely altered. Negative events
associative with lack of financial resources and community components, are major
contributors to marital dissatisfaction. In every study, African Americans are likely to
have only the most fundamental of resources, have lower education and income, and are
less likely to be employed than their White counterparts (Roxburgh, 2009).
50
African American’s anger and unresolved emotions (such as racism and prejudice
they experience from predominant Caucasians environments) have a huge influence on
couple’s level of interrelationship satisfaction. As a result of experiencing racism while
living in predominant White environments, most Blacks prefer to live in parallel within
predominant White environments, which inadvertently causes them to sense threats
associated with their sense of well-being (Merz & Consedine, 2012). This can contribute
to distress when self-ruling behavior permeates mutual relationships. Overall, trust
develops over time. Seeking and providing security throughout life and securing these
over our entire life experiences, influence ones trust in the world and those within it
(Merz & Consedine, 2012). Interrelationship environments are places where these secure
and insecure assumptions are lived out.
Another issue that leads to marital dissatisfaction among African American
couples is coping resiliency during periods of traumatic, inconsistent challenges in
relationships. Couples experience days when everything is positive and going well and
other times when everything is negative and unbearably difficult. Research agrees that a
couple’s success depends on those within the relationship who limit negative events by
forming new positive ways of coping and promoting positive ways of interacting. Most
marriage success and positive outcomes depend on the context in which the marriage
exists. The environment and context of the couple’s relationship determines marriage
success and satisfactory outcomes. Contexts such as increased stressful events,
occupational related stress, sickness, and financial problems tend to place a strain on a
couple’s harmonic marriage union and context of the relationship (Neff, 2012).
51
Most judgments and decisions are susceptible to confirmation biases. These
biases involve situation goals (X) and unresolved conflict (Y). The solution involves a
focus on X (settled information) and reduction of Y (non-settled information).
Confirming thoughts are obtained by focusing on X and reducing thoughts of Y (Kleiman
& Hassin, 2013). The less time couples spend on things that are unsettled in their
relationship, the more this will reduce unpleasant emotional experiences. When dealing
with unsettled and unpleasant emotions, behaviors can surface that can prompt
perceptions of marital satisfaction quality based on different x and y choices and different
gender role x and y emotional conflict. Stanik & Bryant (2012) suggested that in terms of
gender roles, African American women view their egalitarian role of work outside the
home (more than European women) as a way of taking care of their families. Among
African American men, this may have an association with their egalitarian view of
synonymously seeing the role of a woman as both caregiver and breadwinner among
some African American men who may feel they are breadwinners in more of a traditional
role as provider. This may cause some disruptions in marital relationships in terms of
difference of ideas of what typifies the correct family role. Most distressed marriages
have higher levels of hostility when individuals give and receive less gender role support
among each other (Miller, Mason, Canlas, Wang, Nelson, & Hart, 2013). Contexts such
as stressful events, occupational related stress, sickness, and financial problems tend to
place a strain on couples harmonic marriage union and context of the relationship (Neff,
2012).
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Coping Styles
The three types of coping styles are contextual, socio-contextual, and individual
difference coping styles, which occur within various contexts. Among African
Americans, the environmental coping context has a direct correlation between what
surrounds them and how they feel about themselves. One of the major contextual coping
issues that contributes to African American dissatisfaction is the view and experience of
distrust among White people. Racial discrimination can present daily challenges among
African Americans families. A survey among African American adults revealed that 98%
of African Americans in this sample report stated they experienced at least one racial
event over the past year. Such experiences result in frustration, anxiety, and nihilistic
expectation of a future discriminating encounter or racial experience (Brody, Chen,
Kogan, Murry, Logan, & Luo, 2008).
One of the least researched socio-contextual coping styles that contributes to
marriage dissolution is the powerful effect context has on altering peer norms and various
ways of coping. Cheng and Mallinckrodt (2009) used the Sociocultural Attitudes toward
Appearance Scale-2 (SATAQ-2) to determine how body image appraisals alter
perceptions and behaviors. Results from this study revealed if parents took time within
the context of the sibling relationship to maintain a close relationship with their siblings,
this would reinforce a need among the children for environments of unconditional
acceptance and thus provide the child with a buffer against the formation of negative
views of personal acceptance.
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The individual difference context form of coping in difficult family environments,
is a major contributor to family disharmony and marital dissatisfaction. Hostile family
environments have a direct correlation with contributing to marital difficulties
(Wickrama, Bryant, & Wickrama, 2010). For instance, Neff (2012) showed that couples
tend to forego forgiveness if the environment surrounding them is stressful, and spousal
forgiveness is significantly reduced under stressful contexts. During a four-year period,
couples’ forgiveness gestures decreased during higher periods of stress. During times of
higher marital stress from negative events within the marriage, couples tended to rely on
dysfunctional styles of blaming spouses. In contrast, during low stressful periods,
participants tended to forgive their partners. Couples are more positively engaged in
relationships when daily relational events are positive and more negative during times
where daily relationship events are less productive. While under stress, couples are more
prone to interpret and respond in a negative manner in conflict situations.
Internal and External Influences
One of the major internal emotional indicators of inalterable external distress
among African Americans is depression. Emotional distress is perceived and exhibited
through a variety of different host(s) and bi-dimensional aspects. Men and women differ
in their occurrence of moods and emotions. In the context of gender related symptoms,
female depressive moods are more associated with thoughts they internally perceive,
whereas males are more affected by external factors they encounter. Part of
understanding African American depression is recognizing the context in which it occurs
(Nicolaidis, Timmons, Thomas, Waters, Wahab, Mejia, & Mitchell, 2010).
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In terms of internal and external coping, the presence of some traits can mean the
absence of others. In terms of the irritableness within an unpleasant emotional episode, an
association is drawn between the lack of agreement between internal fears and external
perception. Instances of expressions of fear can be linked to periods of low extroversion
and willingness to be open. Likewise, non-socialization is linked to externalization
problems and personal perception is linked with internalizing problems (Slobodskaya,
2011).
In terms of developing a secure inner and outer self- perception, one’s view of
existence has an inherent base in one’s self-perception and self-concept, because this is
the precursor to having a healthy and secure personality. One’s ethnic identity is
paramount to a positive self-image. Having a strong view of one’s ethnic identity has
shown to have a positive association with a healthy self-concept, coping, and self-
efficacy. Phinney (1992) directed a Multi-group Ethnic Identity Measure that researched
adolescent quantitative ethnic identity among adolescents. The study contained
information from 547 Asian, African American, and Latino eighth to eleventh graders.
Results showed levels of ethnic identity were significantly more prevalent among those in
high school than middle school. The research associates stagnant identity to a lack of
ethnic awareness. If a person is ethnically aware of who he or she is, then over time this
matures into a sense of secure attachment and self-concept. As a result, developing an
awareness of ethnic identity is a sealant against lower mental health functioning,
promotion of high self-esteem, self-concept, and a general mastering of one’s
psychological well-being. Additionally, another study that sampled 91 high school
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African American students found that those who considered themselves race-less (who
identified themselves with European-American culture) were more prone to depression
and other anxious pathologies (Greig, 2003).
Controlling Personalities
One of the major causes of marital dissatisfaction is the influence that powerful
and controlling personalities have on marriage relationships. Humans become aware of
human security and personal identity through dynamic interactions. Through the vehicle
of human interaction, relationships have the power to transform and create power roles
within interrelationships (Culow, 2007). This is why it is crucial to understand
relationship inter-dynamics of power and control in order to better understand what
contributing factors are inherent in controlled interrelationship environments. There are
various forms of coping in response to controlling interrelationships. Interrelationship
conflict is defined as definitive ways of resolving disagreements and barriers toward the
goal of mutual attachment. A variety of pro-social ways of coping involve caring
intentions for others, so that anti-social tendencies are viewed as harmful behaviors
toward those in social environments. There are also forms of cultural coping and
controlling. For instance, Asian cultures are more collectivist in nature, in that they place
more emphasis on interdependence, in contrast to most western cultures, which place
more emphasis on independence (Kato, 2013). In terms of parental coping, African
American mothers use more psychological and behavioral control among girls and more
validation and support among boys (Gaylord-Harden, Elmore, & Montes de Oca, 2013).
Building an awareness of controlling personalities among various cultures and genders is
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an asset especially in relation to controlling personalities among African American males
and females, especially in light of the Super Black Women concept of control.
The image of the Super Black Women as someone in control of everything is one
of the controlling power forces that lead to distress and couple disharmony. Most of this
behavior can pose a problem in African American relationships if the African American
wife portrays herself as a super woman. Historically, the Strong Black Women image
came from a justification of slavery. African American females were seen as stronger
physically and psychologically than White women in order to justify their servitude. This
image received new life as a response to societal derogatory images of Black women over
the centuries since slavery and recently among the media. Some of the symbols of The
Strong Black Women are inherent strength, resiliency, and a strong self-will. The Strong
Black Women is also seen as someone who can handle any challenge. As a result, a lot of
stressors have developed as a result of individuals struggling to live up to this Super
Women image. This idealistic and unrealistic view can be detrimental to the African
American females coping efficacy and can bring more trauma and stress as a result of
living up to such unrealistic standards. As a result, these women often have the inability
to regulate emotional difficulties, which causes them to internalize their feelings and
model a strong Black women facade (Harrington, Crowther, & Shipherd, 2010). These
internalized responses can form unpleasant emotional traits that can wreak havoc within
shared interrelationship environments. The image of the Strong Black Women is seen as
a barrier in recognizing depression or reaching out to others to obtain care (Nicolaidis et
al., 2010).
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Emotional Abuse
Another form of coping struggles among African American couples stems from
emotional abusive relationship encounters. Emotional abusive contributors of dissatisfied
relationships are staggering and numerous. There are significant correlations between
partner violence and self-esteem levels. A study on 100 women’s sense of self and the
damaging effects of poor interrelationships, focused on their response to open-ended
survey questions. These questions asked about the way they viewed themselves, factors
that contributed to their sense of self, and their own sense of change. Of these women,
51% had experienced psychological or physically abusive partners within the prior year,
while 43% reported no partner subjecting them to psychological or physical abuse. All of
the women reported positive self-references but women subjected to partner abuse
reported more negative descriptions of themselves, derogatory views of self-change, and
loss of self-concept. Partner violence contributes negatively to women’s self- identity,
ability to assess their needs, and self-efficacy. A woman will adapt ways that predict
meeting her partner’s needs so she can place her focus from herself to her partner in order
to prevent future violence from her partner. When this change occurs, it reduces her
ability to perceive her own needs and perspectives. This negative environment coupled
with the critical comments from a violent partner, reduces a woman’s self-esteem. This
shift in focus from the victim to the violent partner contributes to the woman’s loss of a
sense of self and view of herself through the eyes of her violent partner. Partner violence
has significant associations with a negative sense of self. Women tend to perceive a sense
of self through processes of connected relationships that they experience over time, such
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that when they experience angry partners in their relationships, this contributes to a loss
of mutual empathy. Their partner’s anger causes women distress, so that they begin to
attempt to reconnect or alter the dynamic of the relationship (Lynch, 2013).
Struggles with sexual coping history are synonymous with factors that contribute
to the formation of various unpleasant emotions that contribute to mate dissatisfaction.
Research states that African American females are more prone than any other race to
have high rates of sexual concurrent relationships (Grieb, Davey-Rothwell, & Latkin,
2012). Coping with historical sexual issues can alter future behavior over time, especially
if the history involves negative experiences.
Apart from sexual abuse, sexual infidelity can also be an insurmountable problem
from which to recover. Suffering from infidelity can result in the production of low self-
esteem, faltering relationships, identity crisis, and can cause insurmountable pressure on a
couple’s relationship solidarity. Couples going through such trauma, as a result of a
mutual experience may not be able to help the other partner cope because of their own
feelings and need for assistance. In instances like these, even though blame is irrational,
individuals find some sense of comfort in assuming some role in the loss rather than
having no reasoning at all. During such stressful times, their normal ways of coping with
stressful circumstances are extended past their ability to cope. As a result, issues can
surface that can cause couples to have an increased breakdown in their communication
and can lead to questioning the validity of why the relationship was started (Jaffe, &
Diamond, 2011).
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African Americans and Hispanics are less tolerant of cheating or infidelity in
committed relationship than Caucasians. Fewer African Americans and Hispanics believe
they are in committed relationships. Sexual promiscuity is seen as a severe form of
infidelity in both the African American and Hispanic culture. Some of the answers that
prompt people to cheat in a committed relationship were related to unfulfilled desires of
excitement, fun in a secondary relationship, and sexual desire. Many of the studied
individuals cheated so they could have something on the side to take up the lack of access
that mainly exists in their current socioeconomic culture. This behavior can likely be
traced back to paternal reactions within various stressful conditions. In addition, there are
some similarities of sexual and cultural models of infidelity between African Americans
and Hispanics. Common trends were the tendency to be economically and emotionally
reliant on one’s partner, an understanding that other relationships can exist for material
resources or pleasure, some level of emotional commitment, and infidelity as a buffer to
avoid confronting acceptable feelings and financial scarcity (Macauda, Erickson, Singer,
and Santelices, 2011).
Among married couples, unresolved emotional stress contributes to anger and
strained relationships. Studies have found links to stress and psychosocial functioning
among African Americans (Hood, Brevard, Nguyen, & Belgrave, 2013). Emotions can
also contribute to major problems in marital relationships. Early childhood and adult
emotional environments are litmus tests and predictors of its marital quality, conflict, or
satisfaction level. The emotions modeled by parents and experienced by children are vital
influences on a child’s human development and can significantly alter ways they perceive
60
quality interrelationships later in life. These behaviors form vital perceptions especially
during the early years of a child’s development. Attachment theorists believe that
children send emotional signals to parents early on as a sign that they need care and
security. In a developmental study of six to 12 month old developmentally disabled
babies and their mothers, positive correlations were found between the maternal mother’s
sensitivity and infant’s security (Seskin, Feliciano, Tippy, Yedloutschnig, Sossin, &
Yasik, 2010). How parents respond to these signals is the main factor in the formation of
how adolescent attachment is created within the child, which in turn can be an early
predictor of future adult perceptions of attachment. Children use their parent’s emotional
responses to alter the parent-child environment and order the way they behave socially.
The parent’s response has a significant impact on how the child develops and orients
attachments and on their socio-emotional development. This development extends far
into their children’s future way of coping, emotionally interpreting, and using criteria to
establish quality relationships (Barry & Kochanska, 2010).
Summary and Conclusions
This chapter explored perceptions of marital dissatisfaction among distressed
African American marriage couples. Though marriages are entered into with the intent of
living happily ever after, various personality traits can surface that prevent relationships
from having such an ending. While few studies have examined marital conflict among
various populations, fewer still have utilized perceptions of dissatisfaction and
distinguished these personality styles of conflict within the context of various family
environments, attachment styles, history of learned behaviors, socioeconomic factors,
61
coping styles, internal and external influences, controlling personalities, and history of
learned behavior and emotional abuse. Over 60% of variations in marital quality are a
direct result of personality traits that exists between two couples (Fisher & McNulty,
2008).
This chapter emphasized that effective prevention of marriage dissatisfaction
requires research that aids in developing healthy intimate relationships. Such research
requires data that focus on contributing factors that decrease intimate and healthy
relationships, such as developing an emotional competency to responses within negative
environments (Kapeleris & Paivio, 2011). Furthermore, environmental influences of
racism and prejudice were discussed in this chapter, as well as the heavy strain these
influences have on African American relationships and marriages (Cowdery,
Scarborough, Knudson-Martin, Seshadri, Lewis, & Mahoney, 2009).
There is no doubt that African Americans experience a unique set of
circumstances when compared to other immigrants who came to America. Most
researchers will agree that the various coping behaviors employed by African Americans
in response to their circumstances are unique and directly impact their physical and
psychological health as well as their relationships with others (Bridges, 2010). This
chapter was an attempt to shed light on some of the differences that create dissatisfaction
between married couples and their family life cycle. In regards to social change, great
strides have been made to alleviate distress among our general population in terms of
marital relationships however more research is needed to balance the scale of the African
American experience, whose rate of single parent and divorce rates far exceed any other
62
ethnic group norm. Additionally, this study took advantage of various components to
understand and explain how and to what extent, socioeconomic factors and coping and
attachment styles exists within expressed and internalized partner dissatisfaction, with the
goal of finding intervention strategies for reducing distressful encounters among African
Americans marital interrelationships.
Chapter Three will present the research methods for gathering data on the
perceptions of mate dissatisfaction and their possible remedy. This chapter will highlight
the rationale for choosing a qualitative method approach to answer the research questions
asked herein. Following, there will be a discussion on the research design, participant
recruitment methods, instruments developed and used, ethics, data collection, data
analysis and data security. The results of the study will be presented in a future chapter,
and conclusions will be drawn based on the findings.
To this end, the search of the literature for this study was broad. It included
library databases such as PsychInfo and SocIndex.
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Chapter 3: Research Method
Introduction
The purpose of this study was to explore the perceptions of marital dissatisfaction
and how these contribute to forming dissatisfaction among African American married
couples. This study provided an understanding of how couples thoughts, feelings, and
perceptions are attributed to perceived marital dissatisfaction within various social and
relational environments.
Every human has an innate desire to bond with an attachment figure for the sake
of survival and protection (Martin, Vosvick, & Riggs, 2012). I explored literature and life
experience questionnaires suggesting how coping, attachments, and socioeconomic
factors contribute to perceptions of marriage dissatisfaction among African American
couples 30 to 50 years of age.
In this chapter, I describe and detail the design of the study, instrumentation,
population, sample size, ethical considerations, process of collecting and recording, data
analysis, assumptions, limitations, and validity threats that were sources of errors.
Research Design and Methodology
Research Questions
RQ1. How do African American couples define their marriage?
RQ2. How do coping mechanism and attachment styles contribute to marital
dissatisfaction?
RQ3. How do African American couples feel their socioeconomic experiences
can influence their marriage?
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Interview Questions
Part A. Define marriage dissatisfaction experiences.
RQ1. How do African American Couples define their marriage?
1. Tell me how you feel about your spouse?
2. Tell me about the thoughts your spouse has expressed about you?
Part B: Ascertain African American couples coping and attachment
dissatisfaction experiences.
RQ2. How do coping mechanism and attachment styles contribute to marital
dissatisfaction?
1. Tell me about how your marriage experiences contribute to your view of
marriage?
2. Tell me about the things you and your mate communicate about often?
3. Tell me about the way your family and people you’re around influences your
current perception of what it means to have a satisfied marriage?
4. Tell me about some of the ways you and your spouse may see things
differently?
5. Tell me about the way that you and your spouse interact with each other?
Part C: Ascertain African American married individual’s socioeconomic and
coping expressions of marriage dissatisfaction.
RQ3. How do coping mechanism and attachment styles contribute to marital
dissatisfaction?
1. Tell me about your relationship history?
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2. Tell me about how things around you influence your marriage?
3. Tell me about some of the memories you have about your marriage?
4. Tell me about how finances and a chance of upward mobility may influence
your marriage relationship?
The objective of this chapter was to present rationale for this qualitative
phenomenological studies research methodology, data collection, and analysis process.
This dissertation used a qualitative study to identify perceptions of dissatisfaction through
defining marital dissatisfaction, and to identify how the inability to resolve conflict,
attachment and socioeconomic issues were perceived to form dissatisfaction among
African American couples. Qualitative and phenomenological methods helped to identify
perceptions of dissatisfaction by defining marital dissatisfaction, and how the inability to
resolve conflict, attachment issues, and socioeconomic issues contributed to the
formation of dissatisfaction among African American couples. These areas were
researched through various case methods, in-depth interviews, and situational
observations, to determine various ways married couples cope, attach, and respond within
interpersonal relationships.
In this study, I explored the experiences and perceptions of married individuals
through in-depth interviews, surveys, and observational small group discussions. I
interviewed ten married individuals for similarities in their shared experiences, although
only seven married individual responses were used as the criterion sample for this studies
data and research. There are numerous arguments in support of determining the most
appropriate sample size for research endeavors, though most scholars support the view of
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saturation as the critical factor to consider in determining qualitative research sample size
decisions. Saturation is defined as that point in which the data collection process no
longer offers any new or relevant data (Dworkin, 2012). Various data was collected on
ten couples (20 individuals) in case some of the data were corrupted. Demographic data
were collected, such as sex, age, marital status, parental history, education, and
socioeconomic-shared experience similarities. When recording perceptions about mates,
particular attention was paid to coping, attachment, and socioeconomic factors and their
contribution to martial dissatisfaction. Gaining an understanding of the phenomenon
behind these perceptual tendencies among participants of this study helped to bring a
substantive understanding of how coping, attachment, and socioeconomic factors
contribute to marital dissatisfaction and mate distress within marriage interrelationships.
A phenomenological approach was deemed most appropriate because the aim of
this study was to examine the lived experiences of the participants, and phenomenology
allowed me to engage in the participants’ subjective perception of lived experiences and
revealed the significance of the phenomenon under study (Gee, Loewenthal, & Cayne,
2013). A chronological examination of participants’ lives was outside the scope of this
study, which meant that a biographical approach was not likely to be an effective strategy
for assessing participants’ perspectives. The case method approach was not appropriate
for this study, because this research process was more effective for psychological
analysis when it could be completed on a longitudinal basis, which would not enhance
the outcomes of this research. For these reasons, the phenomenological approach was the
preferred method of study for this dissertation.
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A qualitative methodology was also deemed appropriate for this study. This
methodology enabled exposure of various supporting hypotheses regarding marital
dissatisfaction and personality traits, and fulfilled the objective of this particular study,
namely to look closely at how coping, attachment, and socioeconomic factors contributed
to the formation of dissatisfied perceptions among African American married couples and
their view of the marriage union. A qualitative approach was used because of its
emphasis on the examination of the human experience. It also offered an efficient method
of gaining insight through an examination of social or human behavior, which was an
effective way to facilitate qualitative research (Creswell, 2009). Through examining
couples’ lived experiences, qualitative research helped me to achieve a greater overall
portrait of human existence and psychology (Guzman, 2011).
Creswell (2009) noted that qualitative framework for a phenomenological study is
the best method available within qualitative analysis because it helps to link ideas of
participants with the same phenomenological shared experiences, which was necessary
for this study. Phenomenological study begins with a solid descriptor and ends with a
systematic qualitative analysis of the meaning of the descriptor (Gee et al., 2013).
Through analysis of the series of in-depth interviews with couples in a phenomenological
manner, the overarching objective was to identify differences in the meaning of these
themes with respect to perceptions of marital dissatisfaction from African American
couples who reported concerns of dissatisfaction. Gaining an understanding of perception
of dissatisfaction was of particular importance among African American couples because
of their history of reluctance to discuss crisis they experience in marital relationships and
68
their history of ambivalence toward marriage (particularly among African American
women) who viewed marriage as a loss of power and control (Emory & White, 2006).
Although it was possible to use a regression analysis for this study, this was less
ideal because a regression required different data to be collected than a qualitative
approach, and such terms were less appropriate to answer the research questions posed
here. The questions of this study were best answered through interview questionnaires
that resulted in qualitative not quantitative data. The aim of qualitative studies is to
understand one’s experience (Oluyori, 2013). Requiring such surveys to have continuous,
numeric data, could have resulted in biases or incomplete answers.
Role of the Researcher
Within qualitative research participants’ were foundational to this study, and
informational outcomes were defined by the interpretation of the researcher (Creswell,
2009). In this study, the role of the researcher was to observe through in-depth interviews
and interview questions, and as a result, to gather information to determine similarities
between coping, attachment, and socioeconomic perceptions and dissatisfied emotions.
The researcher had no prior personal or professional relationship with participants
of this study. The researcher was particularly well equipped to handle this study because
research measuring experiences during in-depth interviews required a narrative sharing
environment of information among participants within this interview setting (Githens,
2007). Over the years, the researcher witnessed clients struggling with difficult emotions
such as anger, rage, and pessimistic viewpoints. These emotions limited couples’
harmonious relationships and shattered future hope of mutual reconciliation among client
69
couples that failed to see past their current unpalatable situation. As a clinical counselor,
the researcher learned that individuals can survive horrendous relationships by gaining an
understanding of what true factors and personalities contribute to various views of
dissatisfied perceptions. Through years of research and various academic inquiries, the
researcher developed a passion for helping married couples identify and reframe
discontented perceptions and formed an inner drive in developing skills to help equip
couples with tools to enable greater mutual satisfaction. The personal and professional
bias ethics of the researcher were protected through anonymous selection of the group of
community participants who were gathered through third-party solicitations by outside
professional contacts.
Methodology
The study used criterion sampling of seven adult married individuals of African
American descent who have been married at least one year. A survey was also gathered
for the purpose of selecting participants experiencing some form of marital
dissatisfaction, which was noted on the volunteer survey material and consent form.
Some of the criterion was relative to participants experiencing some form of coping,
attachment, or socioeconomic factors, to determine what level of dissatisfaction within
the relationship was due to emotional dissatisfaction and marital distress. The study
engaged broad demographic variations outside of race and ethnicity. At the same time,
there were limitations in defining individuals for this study based on their own identity
rather than on defined ethnic and cultural specifications.
70
Participants were recruited through small community groups of African American
married individuals desiring help with their family’s quality of life. No clients of the
researcher were included as a participant in this study. This was a new phenomenon to
African American individuals who have a history of distrust of the mental health
profession. Historical medical abuses similar to the Tuskegee Syphilis Study contribute to
distrust among African Americans of the mental health system and associated with their
unwillingness to participate in medical research (Russell, Robinson, Thompson, &
Arriola, 2012). This can prevent participants from willing to perform research. All these
factors of distrust and reluctance figured into why we chose to interview each participant
individually, by respecting their cultural privacy and ethical considerations. The chosen
seven individual participants, met with the researcher at individually prescheduled times
at the South County Regional Library, a central location that was easily accessible by
both public transportation and other means. The determinant of sample size in this
qualitative studies was justified by interviewing participants until reaching the point of
data saturation, which is the point where there was no new information to learn (Francis,
Johnston, Robertson, Glidewell, Entwistle, Eccles, & Grimshaw, 2010). For this study, I
interviewed seven adult married individuals in a private room at South County Regional
Library, and explored similarities in their shared experiences. However, I collected data
on ten couples (20 individuals); just in case some of the data were corrupted. A small
sample size does not necessarily make statistical results less significant (Lantz, 2013).
Small sample sizes are key features of qualitative studies (Pearcey & Wilson, 2008).
Historically, much of the foundational research, for instance that performed by
71
psychologist such as Freud, Piaget, and Skinner, was conducted with small sample sizes.
Research based upon depth of the content of the experience should not be confused with
research based upon sampling strategies. One could use five or twenty participants for
that matter; in phenomenological and qualitative studies, how many is not a concern,
because the meaning of the individuals experience is the impetus (Englander, 2012). Data
was drawn from participant’s sex, age, marital status, parental history, and
socioeconomic shared experience similarities. Each personal interview with each
participant was administered at the library in a private room.
There were several criteria for inclusion or exclusion in this study. To be included
in this study one had to be an adult married for a minimum of one year and of African
American descent. Exclusion criteria for the study included married individuals of same
sex marriage and those who were not married or single. Participants who do not speak
English as their first primary language were not included in the study.
Most of the volunteers who took part in the study were contacted to schedule an
individual interview. Participants were told about the purpose of the study in advance and
the interview questions were not shared. Confidentiality was stressed to maintain
participant’s privacy and protection. Each participant was given an appointment for his or
her individual interview, each of which was scheduled during a one-hour period. The
length of the interview was 45 minutes. Participants were given the information that a
follow-up interview may be required in order to clarify any unclear information in the
interview data so that mutual dialogue could occur. The process was the same for each
individual interview, which all occurred at The South County Regional Library.
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Data Analysis
As listed in APPENDIX (C) parts of this research required the usage of a tape
recorder for the interviews of participants. Tape recordings were then submitted to a
professional transcriptionist for transcribing each interview. Although first names were
used in the interviews, this transcriptionist did not receive any personal data about
participants, and signed a consent form to assure such confidentiality. Interview copies
were presented back to the researcher in three forms: original digital recording, digital
copy, and hard copy of the interview. Given the research methodology, only verbalized
cues or comments were included as raw data in the recording and transcription, although
field notes were taken at the time of the interviews in order to ensure that all non-
verbalized information was also captured. Having each interview transcribed verbatim
and keeping detailed notes helped to establish descriptive validity for this study.
Confidentiality of all participants were maintained because the researcher was the only
one who has access to the tapes and the transcriptionist signed a confidentiality
agreement that all information would be handed over to the researcher and no copies of
data were accessible to anyone except the researcher at the end of transcription. All tapes
were destroyed after transcription in the presence of the researcher and transcriptionist.
Consent of participation was secured before collecting data through the interview
survey questionnaire. Each participant involved in this study was alert, oriented, and gave
permission to legally consent for participation.
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As soon as the individual participant entered the interview room at the library, a
code number was assigned to the demographic and interview questionnaire sheet (see
Appendix A and Appendix B) that helped to facilitate the research process.
To determine interpretative validity and ensure triangulation of the data,
participant confirmed the interview notes once they were transcribed. This helped the
researcher to gain an in-depth understanding of the participants lived experiences and
their perceptions regarding their therapists’ lack of cultural awareness.
Transcripts were examined through a phenomenological framework. Data
analysis of this research included a few distinct steps. These included: (a) reading the
descriptions, (b) delineating meaning units, (c) organizing the meaning units, (d) seeing
the meaning units psychologically, (e) situating structural descriptions, (f) identifying
general themes, and (g) constructing a general situated structure (Robbins &
Parlavecchio, 2006). This provided for greater textual clarity in relation to each interview
and higher quality of participants verbatim responses from the transcribed interview
sessions. From this, a composite structural description and major themes were developed,
drawing from the meanings and essences of the experience and representing the
participant group as a whole.
The interview survey questionnaire consisted of three survey questions. The in-
depth semi-instructed interview questions and gathering of data were analyzed by the
researcher to significantly reduce injection of any cultural and personal biases in relation
to data interpretation and results.
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The primary instruments for this study were eleven types of semi-structured
interview questions that were created exclusively for this research process. These eleven
semi-structured questions were asked in order to begin the conversation, and additional
questions asked if necessary to clarify participant responses or prompt spontaneous
responding. Qualitative interview data contained participants’ experiences, opinions,
feelings, and personal information. In a phenomenological study, the participants must be
individuals who have all experienced the phenomenon being explored and can articulate
their lived experiences (Creswell, 2009). The semi-structured interviews produced first-
person, expert, natural data from participants who had an ability to provide information
on their lived experiences within emotional dissatisfied marital relationships. The
demographic and interview questionnaire (see Appendix A and Appendix B) included
gender, marital status, age, race, religious affiliation, education level, and family size.
Along with the eleven research questions, this study examined two theoretical
foundations that viewed various theories of learning personality and emotions under
distressful conditions. The purpose for these theories helped gain an understanding of
couples coping, attachment, and socioeconomic styles response under dissatisfied
conditions, and how these contributed to emotional dissatisfaction in marriage
interrelationships.
Data analysis was obtained through self-directed in-depth interview questions, as
demonstrated in Chapter 4. The in-depth interview questions, content validity, and
gathering of data were analyzed by the researcher to significantly reduce injection of any
cultural and personal biases in relation to data interpretation and results.
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Before starting, the researcher made sure the research was in compliance with The
American Psychological Association (APA) and Walden University IRB department.
Demographic Information and interview questions were collected post-interview from
each individual participant at their private individual interview session in the reserved
private room at the South County Regional Library, a central location that was easily
accessible by both public transportation and other means. The researcher recorded data
on prepared interview sheets for each survey collected post-interview. Interview results
were then analyzed by the researcher for data analysis and recording of results. Given the
research methodology, only verbalized cues or comments were included as raw data in
the recording and transcription, although field notes were taken at the time of the
interviews in order to ensure that all non-verbalized information was also captured.
Having each interview transcribed verbatim and keeping detailed notes helped to
establish descriptive validity. The researcher had a post-interview meeting with
participants after the total collection of data for a summary of research project. The
researcher connected data to specific research question through in-depth semi-structured
interview questions (inherent in phenomenological studies) and the gathered data were
analyzed to significantly reduce injection of any cultural and personal biases in relation to
data interpretation and results. Phenomenological methods of study place critical
generalizations onto results not participants; the resultant data was not limited by
participant’s experiences, but suspended pre-knowledge and generalities, in order to
discover new generalizations and information of the phenomenon of study (Englander,
2012).
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The researcher assigned each participant a numerical code for each individual’s
demographic and interview questionnaire sheet (see Appendix A and Appendix B) and
assigned numbers one through seven (men even numbered two, four, six and women odd
numbered one, three, and five) to help identify each interviewee responses on the
interview sheets. The researcher was the only one privy to interview results and
information, as there was decoding of data and listing perception similarities relative to
participant responses to the demographic and interview questions that asked questions
relative to lived experience and three major research questions.
The phenomenological method of study and interview questions (see Appendix B)
increased credibility of the data results, which is a characteristic of phenomenological
studies. Phenomenological study is interested in understanding the meaning of the
participants’ lived experience throughout the state of the analysis (Gee et al., 2013).
After data was collected, transferability of data was limited based on the age,
perception, and demographic of participants involved. Group responses from different
demographics were not equivalent groups from the same population (Dorans &
Middleton, 2012). Dependability was maintained and reinforced through the nature of the
participant’s marital distress shared between each individual and the nature and context
of the study of coping, attachment, and socioeconomic perceptual responses to marital
distress. The interpretation attached to the relationship between linked scores depended
on the similarities shared among the interviewed participants and the conditions that
provided the context for the assessment (Dorans et.al; 2012). The shared and varied
method within phenomenological studies emphasis of one’s lived experience and the
77
context of in-depth interviews context within this survey allowed participants to share
perceptions of distress and narrative information which were emotional, performative and
personal aspects of speech inherent in reflexive contexts (Elliott, Ryan, & Hollway,
2012).
After collection of the data, intra and inter coder reliability was maintained
through the researcher’s data analysis process of identifying themes, organizing meaning
units from data results, structural descriptions, seeing the meaning units in psychological
terms as they related to the overall theme of exploration of perceptions of marital distress
among African American couples and the study’s demographic population.
Before accessing any data or implementing any public survey, the researcher first
obtained volunteer permission of participants and Walden Universities IRB board.
Human rights of participants were maintained with regard to providing all participants (a)
informed consent (b) protection from harm, and (c) consent to privacy. Consent forms
helped ensure that participant’s information would remain anonymous and confidential.
No one but the researcher had access to the survey information and tape-recorded
interviews. For data reporting purposes, each participant was identified by a number one
through seven, with men representing even numbers two, four, six and women odd
numbers one, three, five, and seven respectively. This number did not correspond to any
special significance or place within the interview process. Ethical principles were
followed for compliance in an ethical manner
The researcher gave careful consideration to assure that steps were taken to
protect the identity and integrity of volunteer participants and procedures throughout the
78
process of future data collection. All information received from participants was replaced
and assigned with a code that was only known to researcher and kept in a locked cabinet
at his home. The Informed Consent and Interview Questionnaire (Appendix B) was
developed to include every possible issue relative to the study population and surveys.
Confidentiality, voluntary participation, researcher and chairs contact information, and
option to withdrawal from participation, were provided at the time of the interview.
Before beginning any data collection or interview of participants, Walden
Universities Internal Review Board (IRB) permission was obtained after chair approval
of researcher’s dissertation proposal section.
The interview responses and data results helped the researcher gain insight into
patterns within the data, and develop a working knowledge of the phenomenology within
this research study. Various themes surfaced and were examined for further interpretation
and analysis of meaning. The final stage of examination involved the synthesis of all
information so that solid explanations of observed themes were formed. Once the themes
were solved, then final conclusions were drawn in regard to the data and its meaning. All
final conclusions will be shared and available for future scholarly research comparative
questions and future recommendations for usage in clinical training.
Summary
This chapter outlined approaches of the methodology process and the types of
data that were obtained. This research was used to discover how coping, attachment, and
socioeconomic issues contributed to marital dissatisfaction and allowed all participants an
opportunity to express themselves through the phenomenological research experience. A
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qualitative phenomenological interview framework was determined to be the most
appropriate method of examining personality in conjunction with expressed behavioral
dissatisfaction among married couples.
It is important to note that this researcher adhered to all ethical standards of
Walden University, as well as those of both the American Psychological Association and
the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. The considerations behind
the sample of the chosen population, the data collection and analysis procedures, the
study’s use of instrumentation and its credibility, authenticity, and fairness were also
described in this chapter.
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Chapter 4: Results
Introduction
Prior to this study, to my knowledge, no research had been conducted to examine
variances in socio-economic factors, attachment, and coping styles and the lived
experience of marriage dissatisfaction among African American couples. This study was
based on a qualitative research design and addressed critical gaps in literature toward
understanding attachment, coping, and socioeconomic experiences within the fabric of
perceived marriage dissatisfaction among African Americans as a result of encounters
with these factors. Lebow, Chamber, Christensen and Johnson (2012) stated that marital
distress has a strong association with various levels of mental and physical
psychopathologies.
The general problem centers on limited research available to help understand
these lived experiences with such factors such as attachment, coping, and socioeconomic
influences within African American marriage interrelationships. Current research was
needed in order to further our understanding of these variables and their lived
experiences. Gaining an understanding of these variables and their perceived marriage
dissatisfaction experiences, will help couples identify and adapt future positive responses
to reduce such experiences. We need more research to help African Americans reduce
their increasing rates of relationship dissolutions (Cutrona, Russell, Burzette, Wesner, &
Bryant, 2011).
Hence, this research will fill a gap in understanding the underlying attachment,
coping, and socioeconomic factors that contribute to perceptions of marital
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dissatisfaction. Although research defines sociological contributors as the initiator of this
problem, it has failed to provide sound psychological and interpersonal data in relation to
their experience and its relationship to low marriage rates among African American
couples (Chambers & Kravitz, 2011). This problem is essential within the field and study
of psychology and can lend sufficient evidence and increased understanding of how
emotional thoughts and behaviors correlate within traumatic lived experiences. Most
emotional expressions are progressive cognitive actions from the told stories of a
person’s emotions (Greenberg, 2012). These told emotional stories derive from prior
family emotional expressions among their children; which inherently influence the
perceived emotional norm their children portray. The act of one family member affects
the actions of another family member (Garrett‐Peters, Mills‐Koonce, Zerwas, &
Vernon‐Feagans, 2011).
The purpose of this qualitative study was to explore perceptions of dissatisfaction
among African American couples who are experiencing coping, attachment, and socio-
economic issues. An understanding of perceptions will lead to greater awareness of issues
relative to African American couples within difficult coping, attachment, and socio-
economic interrelationships. Research is vital for the substantial numbers of African
American couples experiencing such dissolution in their relationships with coping,
attachment, and socio-economic factors. Research on this subject is very limited within
the field of psychological and social sciences. Individuals working within the social
science field could truly benefit from gaining a greater understanding of these perceptions
of dissatisfaction as it relates to lived out experiences. Research relative to factors that
82
contribute to marriage solidity and satisfaction among African American couples are
difficult to find. Research is needed to help identify factors that reduce marriage stability
and to establish new methods to avoid such separations. Some of the major contributors
to African American marriage dissatisfaction involve difficulty coping with stressful
events, adaptive ways couples attach within relationships, and lived experiences in low
socioeconomic environments (Cutrona, Russell, Burzette, Wesner, & Bryant, 2011).
The results of this study did coincide with the participant’s marital dissatisfaction
experiences. The information obtained was useful in expanding what is known about
differences between attachment, coping, and socioeconomic factors and perception of
marital dissatisfaction among African American couples. This study addressed the
following three questions: How do African American couples define their marriage? How
do coping mechanism and attachment styles contribute to marital dissatisfaction? How do
African American couples feel their socioeconomic experiences can influence their
marriage?
Setting
Participants seemed hesitant in participating in this research project for reasons
relevant to disclosure of issues surrounding their current level of marital dissatisfaction
with their mate and whether the information would expose their identity.
Scheduling personal private interviews with all participants was quite challenging.
Most of the adult participants in this study were involved in weekday and weekend
extracurricular activities with their children or working more than one job to pay their
bills. People spend a lot of time as caregivers or provide the bulk of financial support for
83
the family. One of today’s major concerns for individuals and families is the difficulty of
balancing work and family roles (Jansen, Mohren, van Amelsvoort, Janssen, & Kant,
2010).
Demographics
Participants comprised of seven African American married individuals (four
women and three men) who expressed a desire to be a volunteer participant for this study.
The age of African American female participants ranged between 32-50 years. The age of
African American male participants ranged between 32-55 years. All individual
participants reported being married at the time of the interview. All individual
participants reported an average age at marriage between 31-40 years of age. Individuals
between the ages of 46-50 reported a household annual income between $30,000 to
$150,000. Half of the female participants reported their parents being married before they
were born. Two out of three participants (between the age of 46-50) reported their parents
being married when they were between birth to 5 years of age, and one out of three
participants (between 32-36 years of age) reported their parents being married when they
were between 6-10 years old. Individuals between the age of 46-55 and 37-41, reported
parents being divorced, and among male and females, two of four individuals between
the age of 46-55 reports parents obtaining a divorce when they were 18 and older, with (1
of 4) females between the age of 37-41 reported parent’s divorce occurring between 11-
15 years of age. Two males and females (between the age of 46-50) reported parents
remaining married and both (male and female married individuals) ranging between 32-
36 years of age, report parents remained married.
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Table 1 Demographics of Participants ID # Age Marital status Age married Parents marital status Income
1 49 Married 46 Divorced
Around $100,000
2 52 Married 49 My parents are both deceased, and they died, my mother was
a widow. (Married?)
Together, about 100K
3 48 Married 32 Married
60plus?
4 46 Married 30, 31, 32.
Married About $35,000 to $37,000 a year
5 36 Married 33 Married I think I would say around 75, 75,000.
6 36 Married 33 Married Together, we’re
about 75/80,000. Somewhere in that
range. 7 39 Married 32 Divorced (was
14) Let me see if I can give you a rough
estimate…our household income
has reduced greatly. 50,000 combined.
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Data Collection
The study involved seven participants, four women and three men. There were
four individual females; two females between 46-50 years of age, one female between
37-41, and one female between 32-36 respectively. There were three individual male
participants ranging in age from 51-55, 46-50, and 32-36 years of age.
Research was implemented at the South Country Regional Library in Charlotte,
North Carolina as this was believed to be the most convenient location to host separate
individual interviews and have everyone at the same place to assure appointment time
and place consistencies of each individual interview session. Participants were given
demographic and personal survey sheets to fill out prior to a private individual survey to
assure identity validity and reduce the possibility of plagiarism. Demographic
information included subject’s age, years of marriage, and inquiry of current health (see
Appendix A for the sample demographic sheet). After the demographic information was
filled out by each individual participant, a table was created in a Microsoft Access
software program, which can be viewed in Appendix A.
Forty-five minutes were allotted for the survey and the interview session was
tape-recorded on a digital I-phone recorder. Researcher had a back-up 90-minute audio
cassette tape (180 minutes for the total of both sides of the audio cassette) as to prevent
malfunction problems with digital recording. The researcher had two tape recorders,
batteries for the equipment (in the event that the electrical unit fails), and 20 cassette
tapes to reduce the chance of having non-workable equipment, although one tape
recorder was to be used for the study. The surveys were all reproduced with permission
86
of the copyright owner. Any other reproduction of tapes from anyone other than the
researcher was prohibited. The interviews lasted about 45 minutes; the researcher allowed
an additional 15 minutes after the interview for post-survey debriefing. The feedback
given during debriefing allowed the participants to clarify of purpose for the survey,
express any post-survey concerns or issues, and it permitted the researcher to journal any
relevant information concerning each interview session. The total survey session lasted
`approximately between 45-55 minutes.
Categories were devised and created to report the data collected from the
individual participant’s interview questions (see appendix B). The questions were
established to help guide the participants to report from first-person lived marriage
experiences within various coping, attachment, and socioeconomic settings perceived as
marriage dissatisfaction. The researcher created subcategories for each topic discussed
and tables were created to report the self-reported interview responses. The following is a
categorical outline that is discussed in this chapter: (a) ascertain level of dissatisfaction,
(b) ascertain how African American couples define marital dissatisfaction, (c) ascertain
level of socioeconomic and cultural factors and dissatisfaction.
The 11 interview questions are located under each category. These questions were
developed by the researcher in an effort to gain first-person experiences of the
participant’s perception of marital dissatisfaction. The data were reported by using
themes from self-reported comments, descriptive phrases, and analyzed summaries of the
interviewee’s responses. After various themes were identified, the researcher created
87
another set of themes to identify patterns of the data that were similar in comparison. Full
transcripts of the research interviews are located in Appendix C.
Scheduling posed problems at first. The researcher found it challenging to get
individual participants to agree on a mutual agreeable time to meet that did not compete
with participants’ work and family household conflicts and obligations. Research
revealed that among married couples, work hour decisions must be made within the
context of the household as a whole rather than individual consent (Jansen, Mohren, van
Amelsvoort, Janssen, & Kant, 2010).
Data Analysis
The report process was accomplished by recording interviewees’ responses to 11
questions coded into the following 13 categories. The 13 categories were devised to
report the data collected from individual participants of this study. The 11 interview
questions (see Appendix B) created for this qualitative study guided the participants to
report their perceptions of marriage dissatisfaction as well as their lived experiences. The
transcription process enabled the researcher to organize the data as well as identify
particular common threads of information among the data results. The transcription
process involved going through the answers for each participant and taking out the main
ideas that fit into the categories and themes (based on the similarities that came up). The
researcher focused on the main ideas and the most important points that were discussed in
the interviews and also kept in mind the similarities between interviews. The researcher
created three themes as subcategories for each 13 categories discussed, and tables were
created to report the self- reported interviews. The following outlines each category that
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is discussed in this chapter: (a) definition of marital dissatisfaction, (b) feeling towards
spouse, (c) thoughts spouse expressed toward you, (d) marriage experiences, (e) subjects
communicated about often, (f) family and those around who might influence perceptions
of satisfied marriage, (g) seeing things differently, (h) interaction with each other, (i)
relationship history, (j) other possible factors influencing marriage, (k) memories of
marriage, (l) chance at upward mobility, (m) advice for couples.
The interview questions are also located under each category. In order to provide
the best interview context to explore and include various discrepancies among participant
responses to the analysis, self-directed interview questions were developed by the
researcher in an effort to help individual participants explore and reflect on their life
experiences of marriage dissatisfaction. The data were reported by using descriptive
phrases, analytic summaries, and/or themes from self-reported interviewee’s comments.
After patterns of data were identified, the researcher created another set of themes to
identify patterns of the data that were similar in expression. Full transcripts of the
interviews are located in Appendix C.
Evidence of Trustworthiness
After data was collected, the transferability of data was limited based on age,
perception, and demographics of participants involved. Group responses from different
demographics are not equivalent groups from the same population (Dorans & Middleton,
2012). Dependability was maintained and reinforced through the nature of the
participant’s marital distress shared between each individual participant and the nature
and context of the study of coping, attachment, and socioeconomic perceptual responses
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to marital distress. The interpretation attached to the relationship between linked scores,
were dependent upon the similarities shared among the interviewed participants and the
conditions that provided the context for the assessment (Dorans et.al; 2012). The shared
and varied method within phenomenological studies emphasizes one’s lived experience
and the context of in-depth interviews context within this survey allowed participants to
share perceptions of distress and narrative information, which were emotional,
performative, and personal aspects of speech inherent in reflexive contexts (Elliott, Ryan,
& Hollway, 2012).
After collection of the data, intra and inter coder reliability was maintained
through the researcher’s data analysis process that identified themes, organized meaning
units from data results and structural descriptions, and located the meaning units in
psychological terms as they related to the overall theme of exploration of perceptions of
marital distress among African American couples and the study’s demographic
population.
Before accessing any data or implementing any public survey, the researcher
obtained volunteer permission of participants and Walden Universities IRB board.
Human rights of participants were maintained with regard to providing all participants (a)
informed consent; (b) protection from harm; and (c) consent to privacy. Consent forms
helped ensure that participants’ information remained anonymous and confidential. No
one but the researcher and transcriptionist had access to the survey information and tape-
recorded interviews. For data reporting purposes, each participant was identified by a
number such as Interview one through seven, with men representing even numbers two,
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four, six and women odd numbers one, three, five, and seven respectively. This number
does not correspond to any special significance or place within the interview process.
Ethical principles were followed for compliance in an ethical manner.
The researcher gave careful consideration to assure that steps were taken to
protect the identity and integrity of volunteer participants and procedures throughout the
process of future data collection. All information received from participants were
replaced and assigned with a code that was only known to the researcher and kept in a
locked cabinet at his home. The Interview Questionnaire (Appendix B) was developed to
include every possible issue relative to the study population and surveys. Confidentiality,
voluntary participation, researcher and chair contact information, and having the option
to withdraw from participation, was provided to each individual participant at the time of
the interview. Before the beginning of any data collection or interview of participants,
Walden Universities Internal Review Board (IRB) granted permission after the chair
approved the researcher’s dissertation proposal section.
The expansion of this information helped the researcher gain insight into patterns
within the data and developed a working knowledge of the phenomenology within this
research study. Various themes surfaced and were examined for further interpretation and
analysis of meaning. The final stage of examination involved the synthesis of all the
information so that a solid explanation of observed themes could be formed. Once the
themes were solved, final conclusions were drawn in regard to the data and its meaning.
All final conclusions will be shared and available for future scholarly research
comparative questions and future recommendations for usage in clinical training.
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Results
A qualitative phenomenological research strategy was implemented for this study.
This strategy allowed human behavior to be researched so that the body of knowledge in
the social sciences can be expanded. These three research questions were produced to
guide this research:
RQ1. How do African American couples define their marriage?
RQ2. How do coping mechanism and attachment styles contribute to marital
dissatisfaction?
RQ3. How do African American couples feel their socioeconomic experiences
can influence their marriage?
How do African American Couples Define Their Marriage?
Seven African American participants (three males and four females) participated
in this study. Based on the information gathered, most of the individuals expressed
various definitions of how they defined marriage dissatisfaction. Most of the individuals
who were interviewed (all of these individuals were female) believed that part of marital
dissatisfaction stemmed from issues in feeling “happy” with the marriage. (“The spouses
are no longer happy…I would say unhappy more often than happy…To be satisfied in a
marriage would be to be happy and content.”). Individuals also believed that part of
marital dissatisfaction stemmed from issues in communication between the spouses,
which would sometimes manifest itself through arguing (“You are arguing all the
time….Failed to communicate about it….The way they respond to one another, it is
dissatisfied in that connection.”). Most of the individuals who were interviewed had
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positive thoughts and feelings to express about their spouse, and had feelings of love
toward their spouse (“I love my spouse…I admire him….I love him, and am in love with
him…I feel great about my spouse…I love my wife…I still like him, I still love him…”).
Two individuals (both were male) had very passionate feelings and thoughts about their
spouse (“She is the air that I breathe. It might sound a little cheesy, but she is my world.
And I guess they say that you shouldn’t make anybody your whole world, but truth of the
matter is, she is my whole world… She is my wife. She is a part of me. I am a part of
her.”). Other individuals (female participants) had positive feelings toward their spouse,
but also had a few hesitations (“I love my spouse, however, I hate to put a but on it, but
he gets on my nerves…He challenges everything I say….Through good times and bad
times, I know that he is there. I just know that my spouse doesn’t know how to be there
for me. I don’t think that he is able to sometimes come from my point of view in
understanding from where I am and so we have a little bit of difficulties with that.”). Two
of the individuals (both female participants) who were interviewed knew that their
spouses had expressed loving and positive feelings about them (“He says that he loves
me. He told me that I’m a good wife. That I’m a good mother. He calls me beautiful a lot.
He tells me how proud he is of me…. I think he admires me in both the areas of strengths
and weaknesses. I think that he admires them, because I think it balances us.”). Most of
the others who were interviewed talked about how their spouse seemed to express mixed
feelings towards them (“She says that I inspire her in many ways. She also expressed how
I disappoint her in many areas…She tells me that she loves me and I don’t really get
much of a verbal expression in my view from her…..That I talk too much. He is proud of
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me.”). Yet two others interviewed seemed to believe that their spouses were dissatisfied,
and had expressed negative feelings towards them (“He would be dissatisfied also…..I
think the dissatisfaction and what my wife wants, she tries to just, her nature is to be a
fixer or to make sure that everything is alright.”)
How do Coping Mechanism and Attachment Styles Contribute to Marital
Dissatisfaction?
For the participants in this study, being able to bond and connect with their spouse
was very important but difficult to achieve. Various reasons were given for reasons
behind the participants’ inability to connect and bond with their spouses. In the context of
the marriage experience, two of the individuals who were interviewed commented on
how they believed that marriage is work (“Marriage is work. It’s more work than my full-
time job….Marriage is work. You have to physically put in work.”). Some of the
individuals who were interviewed did not believe that they bond well at times with their
spouse, or they had a negative bonding experience with their spouse (“I don’t think we
bond well enough. I think our level of intimacy or bonding intimacy is lacking… That
was one experience that was leading to dissatisfaction. I couldn’t bond that way. And I
would deal with it negatively.”) One individual (a female participant) believed that
challenges and problems within the marriage helped her and her spouse to bond better.
Another individual (a male participant) believed that he and his wife bonded well when
they met (“I think we bonded in a great way in how we met, with knowing each other and
having a chemistry of being able to talk from the very beginning.”).
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The inability to communicate was another factor that altered coping and marriage
attachment. Several of the individuals who were interviewed (female participants)
commented about how sex and intimacy was a topic that was communicated about often
(“There is a lot of communication about sex…If I had to put them in order, I would
probably say: communication about sex and intimacy is number one.”). Other individuals
commented on how they communicated about their kids with their spouse (“We talk
about the kids….The kids’ schedule.”). Most individuals commented on how they
communicated about finances with their spouse (“There is a lot of communication about
money….We will communicate about finances, we communicate about things that we
would like to come in possession of….We talk about money often….We communicate
about finances.”). Several of the individuals who were interviewed also commented on
how they discussed the Scriptures and their relationship with God with their spouse (“The
positive things that we talk about are our relationships with God…We communicate
about the Word a lot…We talk about the Scriptures.”).
Family and surrounding issues were other factors noted among participants that
influenced perceptions of proper coping and attachment in marriage relationships. There
were several negative and positive influences to the individuals who were interviewed, in
regards to their view of marriage. Several of those who were interviewed believed that
their parents/family didn’t provide positive examples of a satisfied marriage (“If I had to
use my family and folk around me, I don’t have no real good examples…, My parents
have had some rocky times in their marriage…..I don’t know if I have any really good
examples to follow cause my mom and dad over the years seem to have a lot of fighting,
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and a whole lot of hang-ups and hurt feelings that never really seemed to get resolved.
And that’s the example that I have to go by.”) One male participant turned that around to
learn from (“In my family, I always thought that my mom was not satisfied. I always
thought that my dad was not satisfied. There was a constant disconnect. So how do they
influence me? I took that positively. I turned it around positively”). Another individual (a
female participant) commented on the positive influence of the church (“I think our
church family is a strong influence. To fight for marriage…”).
Seeing things differently was another major factor that limited healthy coping and
attachment among married participants. Most of the individuals who were interviewed
believed that they saw most things differently from their spouse (“We see differently on a
lot of different things….I think my spouse sees it differently….We see a lot of things
differently….Being that we have different needs…It seems like we see everything
differently.”) It seemed that these individuals had different ideas about why they have
different opinions than their spouse. One female participant believed it was due to the
way they were raised. Another female participant believes it is due to different needs in
marriage. Two individuals (both female participants) commented on the importance of
communication, and the connection between communication and seeing things differently
(“One of the key components of a healthy marriage is being able to communicate
effectively….I do think we have a communication breakdown.”).
Lastly, how couples interact was reported as a major influence of perceived
coping and attachment problems among participants interviewed. Several of the
individuals who were interviewed believed that they get along very well with their
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spouse, and interact well with them (“We get along very well. We laugh, we talk, and we
communicate. I look forward to seeing him….We always set aside a time in the evening
when the kids are in bed to have that us time. Whether we use it to talk or to watch TV,
that’s our bonding time…I think that we interact with each other pretty good.”). Two of
the individuals (both male participants) commented on their control of their tone in
regards to their interactions with their spouses (“It’s more peaceful now than it was in the
past. I’m in more control of my tone now….I’m being conscious of keeping my anger
down and not being explosive and reactive.”). Two other individuals, who were married
to each other, believe that their interactions aren’t in the best of situations (“Right now
it’s shaky….I think we are hit and miss.”).
How do African American Couples Feel Their Socioeconomic Experiences can
Influence Their Marriage?
For participants in this study, all seven participants felt their socioeconomic
experiences, social environment, and exposure to financial constraints and upper mobility
had a major influence on their perception of marriage dissatisfaction. Two of the
individuals interviewed (both female participants) commented on not having had a lot of
previous long-term relationships (“I haven’t had a lot of long-term relationships…I didn’t
want to date.”). One individual interviewed (a female participant) commented on her
mostly having had previous long-term relationships (“Most of my relationships have been
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long-term…”). One individual (a male participant) commented on how he would mostly
bond sexually with previous relationships (“I bond mainly sexually”).
The participants of this study also reported that experiences within their
surrounding environment influenced their perception of marriage dissatisfaction. Several
of the individuals interviewed commented on how finances affect their relationship (“Our
money. Our finances definitely affect our relationship…We have had some money
problems, and the way I behave with money really causes our relationship to not be in the
area of satisfaction…..The only things that really affect my marriage are the things that
are close to me like my financial situation.”). Several of the individuals interviewed
commented on how family experiences (especially growing up) and viewing the
relationships/marriages of others influenced their own marriage (“Other failed marriages
cause me to bond closer to my husband….Looking at family members and other people
going through certain things…His daddy got divorced three times. His mother has been
divorced twice.”).
All seven participants interviewed reported positive memories in their marriage,
but only 20% of participants interviewed associated meeting their spouse as the best
marriage memory. Most of the positive memories that the individuals interviewed
commented on spending quality time with their spouse bonding and connecting, making
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positive memories (“We’ll go get a cup of coffee late at night and sit in the driveway and
talk for hours. We are not arguing. No arguing, we are just kinda eating and relaxing and
laughing…I think our ability to have dinner and walk and laugh…She was pulling me in
so I could not only share about my problems, I can share about my likes, what inspires
me, what I dream about…And when we do have some down time, we are able to giggle
and play….We have had some pretty good date nights.”). Two individuals commented on
meeting their spouse as being a good memory (“When we first met, I think that’s a great
memory…I love the memory of us coming together…”). Two other individuals (both
female participants) commented on family trips and vacations as being positive
memories.
The majority of participants interviewed stated that an increase in wealth and
status would positively affect their marriage. One of seven participants (female
participant) reported that an increase in wealth and status would negatively affect their
marriage and associated being comfortable and financially secure as a fear. All of the
individuals who were interviewed believe that a chance at upward mobility would greatly
affect their marriage. Most of the individuals believed that it would affect their marriage
in a positive way, by taking off stress (“It won’t cure all the problems, but it would
certainly I think be a relief as far as what we buy, when we buy it. It wouldn’t solve
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everything cause money isn’t everything and we all know that but it would definitely
solve some of our life issues and concerns that might change how we act with each other,
I would hope…I think finances would be a great way of helping us to stabilize and get to
where we would like to be…..I think it would be an excellent influence. We both have
goals, things we want to accomplish, so of course that would help us achieve our
goals….I think that would have a tremendous effect on my relationship because that
speaks to her love language, acts of service more….I think that would put a light above
his head, and emotionally he would need it.”). One of the individuals interviewed (a
female participant) believed it would have a negative effect on her relationship with her
spouse (“I think it would destroy us…Anything beyond being comfortable is a fear,
because I don’t know myself well enough to say I would be grounded.2”).
In order to provide the best interview context to explore and include various
discrepancies among participant responses into the analysis, self-directed interview
questions were developed by the researcher in an effort to help individual participants
explore and reflect on their life experiences of marriage dissatisfaction.
Category A: Definition of Marital Dissatisfaction
Interview Question 1: Tell me how you feel about your spouse? This question allowed
participants to reflect on the perception of their spouse and how their experience defines
marital dissatisfaction. All four females interviewed believed that part of martial
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dissatisfaction stemmed from issues in feeling “happy” with the marriage. Three of 7
individuals believed that part of marital dissatisfaction could be defined as issues
stemmed from communication problems and arguments. Table 2 lists descriptive phrases
and statement that the interviewees used in this category.
Table 2
Marital Dissatisfaction: Definition of Marriage Dissatisfaction
Gender ID # Theme 1: : Definition of marital dissatisfaction
Female 1 You are arguing all the time. You don’t feel like you have a sanctuary at home.
Male 2 I think to be martially dissatisfied is that you are not getting maybe all of your needs met. And that you have or had a perceived notion of what you thought marriage would be. And then it didn’t become that.
Female 3 I think marital dissatisfaction means to me that the marriage is no longer growing. That the marriage has ceased from growing. That the spouses are not content with one another…And that they are no longer happy.
Male 4 I think that is an area where either the couple or the one individual in the relationship is not satisfied with the other spouse. Their interaction with one another, the way they perceive one another, the way they respond to one another, it is dissatisfied in that connection. Maybe the way my spouse perceives me.
Female 5 I would say unhappy more often than happy.
Male 6 I would say that dissatisfaction is a situation where you have two people who failed to yield to each other’s needs. And failed to communicate about it.
Female 7 To be satisfied in a marriage would be to be happy and content. To understand that you are part of a team. To have respect from someone that is your spouse in all aspects of life. Your good times and your bad times, and to ultimately put God first and to pray together to get through the good times, or the bad times. And just knowing that you are loved unconditionally for the person that you are, for the type personality that you have.
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Category B: Feelings Toward Spouse
Interview Question 2: Tell me about the thoughts your spouse has expressed about
you? This question was developed so that participants could reflect on their spouse’s
perceptions of his or her mate’s marriage experience and how this defines their marriage
dissatisfaction. Most of the individuals who were interviewed had positive thoughts and
feelings of love toward their spouse. Two of seven participants (both were male) had very
passionate feelings and thoughts about their spouse. Two of three females expressed
having positive feelings about their spouse, but also had a few hesitations. These
hesitations involved confrontation from their spouse and inability of the male spouse to
know how to cope, attach, and be there for their female spouse. Table 3 lists descriptive
phrases and statements that the interviewees used in this category.
Table 3 Marital Dissatisfaction : Feelings Toward Spouse
Gender ID # Theme 2: : Feelings toward spouse
Female 1 I love my spouse, however, I hate to put a “but” on it, but he gets on my nerves…He challenges everything I say.
Male 2 I think that we try to get past the dissatisfaction. We try to empathize with one another about what our needs are. But I think we tend to take it for granted that you are supposed to know what the other should want or desire and so it then comes into play an ability to communicate about them. If you don’t communicate that, that further feeds into that dissatisfaction.
Female 3 I admire him. I greatly admire him. I love him, and am in love with him.
Male 4 Well, I feel great about my spouse. She is my wife. She is a part of me, I’m a part of her. So generally, I love her dearly. Am I dissatisfied? I don’t know if that’s part of the question, but I feel generally good about our relationship. I feel great about her and
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who she is.
Female 5 I love my spouse. I think he is very attentive. He tries his best to do for the family. And I know that he loves me and that’s a good feeling.
Male 6 I love my wife. She is the air that I breathe. It might sound a little cheesy, but she is my world. And I guess they say that you shouldn’t make anybody your whole world, but truth of the matter is, she is my whole world.
Female 7 I still like him…I still love him. Through good times and bad times, I know that he is there. I just know that my spouse doesn’t know how to be there for me….I don’t think that he is able to sometimes come from my point of view in understanding from where I am and so we have a little bit of difficulties with that. But overall, I still like him, I still love him.
(table continues)
Category C: Thoughts Spouse Expressed Toward You
Interview Question 3: Tell me about the thoughts your spouse has expressed about
you? This question defines how the thoughts of a participant’s spouse influence their
perception of their spouse’s marriage dissatisfaction. Two of seven (both females) stated
that their mates had expressed loving and positive feelings about them. Five of seven
participants spoke of their spouses’ mixed thoughts and feelings about them. Two of
seven participants interviewed expressed they believe that their spouses are dissatisfied
and have expressed negative feelings towards them. Table 4 summarizes these responses.
Table 4 Marital Dissatisfaction: Thoughts Spouse Expressed Toward You
Gender ID # Theme 3: : Thoughts Spouse Expressed Toward You
Female 1 He would be dissatisfied also. Sex is a huge issue for him, what we are and are not doing, cause I am closed off regarding it. That I don’t trust him.
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Male 2 I have mixed emotions about it, because at times, I don’t feel that
it is adequately known or understand what is lacking. Again because of what is or isn’t happening. But I think the dissatisfaction and what my wife wants, she tries to just her nature is to be a fixer or to make sure that everything is alright.
Female 3 His thoughts are that I am complicated….that I’m really complicated…I think that I can be a little unpredictable. I think when he feels like he has me figured out, he finds that ok, there’s still a lot to learn….Although that appears to sound negative, I think that he actually admires that…I think he admires me in both the areas of strength and weaknesses. I think that he admires them, because I think it balances us.
Male 4 She thinks greatly of me. She says that I inspire her in many ways. She says that she loves me more than I love her. She also expresses how I disappoint her in many areas. She easily sees what is not right about me and she tries to correct them or she tries to expose them to me so that I can correct them.
Female 5 He says he loves me. He told me that I’m a good wife. That I’m a good mother. He calls me beautiful a lot. He tells me how proud he is of me because of a lot going on right now in my life. And just of the way I handle things.
Male 6 She tells me that she loves me and I don’t really get much of a verbal expression in my view from her. I think she tries to love me in her language, which is acts of service. Which doesn’t really speak that loudly to me, even though it is appreciated. It doesn’t speak that loudly to me cause it’s not my language. But every now and then she will surprise me and say something or do a little something that lets me know she cares, but she doesn’t really speak as loud to me. You know, in a language that I can understand.
Female 7 That I talk too much. He is proud of me. I know that. He is proud of all my accomplishments. He appreciates the fact that I am a good mom and a good stepmom to his daughter. I know my husband loves my heart. He would say that I am a good woman.
(table continues)
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Category D: Marriage Experiences
Interview Question 4: Tell me about how your marriage experiences contribute to your
view of marriage? This question was didactic, in that it led participants to explore
specific coping and attachment experiences, which changed how they perceived marriage
dissatisfaction. In this section two participants who were interviewed commented on how
they believed marriage takes work in terms of coping and attachment experiences. Five of
seven participants interviewed stated challenges and negative experiences increased
marriage dissatisfaction in their marriage and had difficulty coping and attaching to each
other. Four of seven interviewed did not believe they bonded well at times with their
spouse, and stated they have had negative bonding experiences with their spouse. One of
seven (female participant) believed that challenges and problems within the marriage
helped her and her spouse to bond better. One of seven (male participant) believed he and
his wife bonded well at the beginning of their relationship, but once married issues
surrounding sexual intimacy decreased their ability to attach and cope in a healthy
manner. Table 5 summarizes these responses.
Table 5 Describe Your Coping /Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Marriage Experiences
Gender ID # Theme 4: : Marriage Experiences
Female 1 I don’t think we bond well enough. I think our level of intimacy or bonding intimacy is lacking….I’m not a priority.
Male 2 I think it’s two-folded in regards that I think we bonded in a great way in how we met, with knowing each other and having a chemistry of being able to talk from the very beginning. Once we became married and there became maybe some pitfalls or trials or barriers to us bonding a little better when it came to being sexually involved or talking a little bit more in depth, that’s
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where you get that break….So now I have to bag up or be able to create some space to have a moment to process this information to better bond….And so it is essential that you understand all principles, all the information I think.
Female 3 Challenges and problems within the marriage bring us closer together. I try not to take anything for granted, although I enjoy good times and peaceful times, but I don’t take it for granted. Because I know that we will have our share of problems, but I look at those problems or challenges that we have as an opportunity to show our love towards one another. I think that the challenges and problems that we face actually brings us closer. It helps us to get to know one another in areas that maybe we have never had a chance to observe of one another. How we handle certain problems. I think that’s when my vows are challenged. That it’s more than just words, but they are commitments. So that’s how I see the problems and challenges. I think it strengthens the marriage.
Male 4 In an early part of our marriage, anytime that my wife was dealing with something that bothered her, she would take a physical position in talking to me, which is a message in itself. That was one experience that was leading to dissatisfaction. I couldn’t bond that way. And I would deal with it negatively.
Female 5 As of lately, I view myself as having a healthy marriage. I’m more happy than unhappy. I mean of course there have been some negative experiences. And there was a time when I would say that my marriage was unhealthy (lots of arguing, a lot of selfishness, pride, insecurities, fear), but as of recently, I think I have a fairly healthy marriage.
Male 6 Marriage is work. It’s more work than my full-time job. It’s a lot of mental exercise, a lot of emotional and physical work. I think it’s a learning curve for me, and it’s growing pains.
Female 7 Growing up, I watched my parents get divorced. The fact that I am a Christian and believe in marriage and unity and having a marriage and being married to your friend to raise a family, and to have a partner for life, that is my foundation. I watched my grandparents stay together, and they were married till death do they part…..Marriage is work. You have to physically put in work.
(table continues)
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Category E: Communicate About Often
Interview Question 5: Tell me about the things you and your mate communicate about
often? This question was developed so that participants could reflect on their
conversational experiences and their relationship with marriage dissatisfaction. In this
section all four women interviewed stated that sexual intimacy and finances were major
topics of conversations with their spouse. Three of the seven participants noted talking
about their relationship with God as positive conversation. Two of the three males stated
that their mate does not communicate about their relationship with them well. Table 6
summarizes descriptive phrases that participants expressed for this category.
Table 6 Describe Your Coping /Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Communication
Gender ID # Theme 5: : Communication
Female 1 There is a lot of communication about money and sex. Those are the negative things. The positive things that we talk about are our relationships with God.
Male 2 ?
Female 3 The future. Things that we desire to have. We will communicate about finances, we communicate about things that we would like to come in possession of, whether it’s a house or a car or a promotion. We communicate about the Word a lot. We try to have devotions together as much as we can, even to sacrifice to make that happen. We have to sacrifice to get that time together. I think it’s a balance of speaking about spiritual, health, finances, where we are emotionally.
Male 4 We talk about us. We talk about our day, we talk about what we are going through in the course of a day. We talk about the Scriptures. We talk about the kids. We talk about money often.
Female 5 We communicate about the children, we communicate about intimacy or sex. My husband is more of a communicator than I am. So he will communicate about his day, what happens at
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work. We communicate about finances. If I had to put them in order, I would probably say: communication about sex and intimacy is number 1, then kids, and then finances.
Male 6 We don’t do a whole lot of it. I think a conversation in my definition is an act of exchange for both parties. With a come and go. I don’t think I get that from her. It’s usually, I engage her, I probe her. I may or may not get information that I am requesting. I don’t know if we really know how to talk to each other yet.
Female 7 The kids’ schedule. Finances, and family factors. Our parents and those that are around us that affect us in some way.
(table continues)
Category F: Family, Those Around Influence Perception of Satisfied Marriage
Interview Question 6: Tell me about the way your family and people you are around
influence your current perception of what it means to have a satisfied marriage? This
question delves into the influence family and social relationship experiences have upon
the participant’s perception of marriage satisfaction. Findings in this section revealed
several positive and negative influences to the individual who were interviewed, in
regards to their view of how their marriage was influenced by various family and social
relationships. Two of seven individuals interviewed stated that their parents and family
did not provide positive examples of a satisfied marriage. One of seven interviewed
(male) stated that they turned the negative example into a positive one, and one of seven
(female) participants commented that those in the church helped turn poor marriage
examples into positive ones. Table 7 summarizes these responses.
Table 7 Describe Your Coping /Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Familial Influence
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Gender ID # Theme 6: : How Family Influences Perception of Satisfied Marriage
Female 1 I unfortunately, had an idealistic view of marriage. From watching TV, reading all the books I have read…And then watching my friends and my parents be married and what I thought should happen to him and I. I had a lot of ideals.
Male 2 If I had to use my family and folk around me, I don’t have no real good examples. If I use that as a method for really kind of being the parameter, there’s been a lot of divorces. And society as a whole, if you really looked at it, you wouldn’t give marriage a chance, you wouldn’t give marriage a shot.
Female 3 I think our church family is a strong influence. To fight for marriage when you are looking at it from a spiritual scope, Christ versus the Devil…I believe that the church family is a strong influence to make right decisions to endure, to persevere, to go through long suffering, and to know that it’s not strange to suffer or to be challenged in your marriage…I believe fellowshipping with one another, and letting you know that there’s nothing new under the sun, that you aren’t facing some new thing that we haven’t already gone through….Of course my parents are a strong influence.
Male 4 In my family, I always thought that my mom was not satisfied. I always thought that my dad was not satisfied….There was a constant disconnect. So how do they influence me? I took that positively. I turned it around positively.
Female 5 My parents have had some rocky times in their marriage. I would probably view their marriage as being ok. My husband and I have been through counseling. I realize that everybody’s got some issues in their marriage. Nobody’s marriage is perfect. It makes me look at what I have, and it’s a blessing because we have come a long way and it could be a lot worse than it is. And it could be better than what it is. Just because we might have some issues in our marriage, I still perceive our marriage as being a healthy marriage.
Male 6 I don’t know if I have any really good examples to follow cause my mom and dad over the years seem to have a lot of fighting, and a whole lot of hangups and hurt feelings that never really seemed to get resolved. And that’s the example that I have to go by.
Female 7 Communication and downtime. Life is gonna keep you busy. But you need to stop and talk to each other. If you don’t stop and the couple themselves have some down time, it’s gonna
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get away from you. Life is gonna get in the way regardless.
(table continues)
Category G: Seeing Things Differently
Interview Question 7: Tell me about some of the ways you and your spouse may see
things differently? This question helped participants explore how seeing things
differently from their spouse influences the way they cope and attach within their
relationship and perceptions of marriage dissatisfaction. All seven participants (male and
female) interviewed stated that on average, they see most things differently from their
spouse. Although all interviewed admitted to seeing things differently than their mate,
there were variations in their opinions about why this occurred. One of four female
participants believed this is due to the way their parents raised them, another suggested
these differences were due to different expectations or needs in marriage. Two of four
female participants commented on communication of differences to their mate as an
influence to seeing things differently. Table 8 summarizes these descriptive responses.
Table 8 Describe Your Coping /Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Differences in Perception
Gender ID # Theme 7: : Differences in Perception
Female 1 We see differently on a lot of different things. I often tell him there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
Male 2 I think my spouse sees it differently because she thinks that I’m working. I work and I put my physical fitness, my overall health in the mix and so that time kinda battles with the time that I think that she thinks I should put in with her and that creates a dissatisfaction.
Female 3 We see a lot of things differently. I’m an observer and I’m a thinker, and so, I look at a situation, and we’re bumping heads,
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with our views or are seeing things through a different perspective, I think it has a lot to do with the way we were raised.
Male 4 She has helped me see the things that I don’t see, and a lot of times I don’t see anything. But then sometimes, when she sees she is helping me, sometimes when she is wrong, or it’s hard sometimes for me to disagree with her.
Female 5 Being that we have different needs, He may view a healthy marriage as consisting of the more sex you have, the healthier your marriage is. Being able to listen and speak both sides is a really health marriage. One of the key components of a health marriage is being able to communicate effectively.
Male 6 It seems like we see everything differently. I seem to be more of a pessimist and she seems to be more of an optimist.
Female 7 To be honest with you, we kinda are on the same page….But I do think we have a communication breakdown there (with scheduling). We don’t see eye to eye there. And overall, as far as any decisions, he leaves them up to me, and then when I ask, he gets upset.
(table continues)
Category H: Interact With Each Other
Interview Question 8: Tell me about the way you and your spouse interact with each
other? This question allowed participants to express how their interactions with their
mate influenced their perception of marriage dissatisfaction. Four of seven participants
interviewed stated their interactions with each other were not stable or healthy. Three of
the seven participants who suggested they interact well with their spouse contributed
setting aside time, communication, and controlling their tone in regards to their spouse as
positive interactive things in their relationship. Table 9 summarizes these descriptive
responses.
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Table 9 Describe Your Coping /Attachment Dissatisfaction Experience: Interaction
Gender ID # Theme 8: : Interaction with Each Other
Female 1 Right now it’s shaky. We will have weeks or days of, it seems to me that we have bonded well. That we get along well and I love him to pieces, and then in a flash, he will say or do something or don’t say or do something and it’s on and popping and it just stinks….I would like us to not argue so much.
Male 2 I think we are hit and miss. Sometimes we ebb and flow and we do really well. To have a good time and I think other times we then miss that mark. But other times, then there’s another time where we will ebb and glow. We will be in together and we will be in sync.
Female 3 We get along very well. We laugh, we talk, we communicate. I look forward to seeing him and chatting with him about my day. I believe it’s vise versa. We enjoy a lot of the same things, desire to do a lot of the same things…
Male 4 It’s peaceful. It’s more peaceful now than it was in the past. I’m in more control more of my tone now.
Female 5 We have physical interaction. We always set aside a time in the evening when the kids are in bed to have that us time. Whether we use it to talk or to watch TV. That’s out bonding time. So that’s mainly how we interact. Most of our negative interactions come because, most of it is about sex and intimacy. His high need for it, and mine doesn’t match that so that’s where a lot of our negative interactions come in.
Male 6 I think we interact with each other pretty good. It depends on what is going on. If I am working and giving her the benefit of the doubt, and I’m being conscious of keeping my anger down and not being explosive and reactive, we seem to get along pretty good. She’s not much of a communicator. I feel rejected, pushed away, and isolated.
Female 7 I have labeled me and him as Edith and Archie Bonker. The little angry old man who got a big old heart. And the sweet little old lady that, she don’t care what Archie says, she do her own thing. That’s where we are right now. We can change, but that’s just where we are right now.
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Category I: Relationship History
Interview Question 9: Tell me about your relationship history? This question allowed
participants to delve into their relationship history (prior to their marriage) to see how
former relationship encounters influenced their current perception of marriage
dissatisfaction. Two of four female participants commented on not having had a lot of
previous long-term relationship experience prior to their marriage. Most female
participants interviewed expressed their relationship history in terms of time, whereas the
majority of males expressed their relationship history in terms of sexual relationship
history. Table 10 summarizes these descriptive responses.
Table 10 Socioeconomic / Coping Expressions of Dissatisfaction: Relationship History
Gender ID # Theme 9: : Relationship History
Female 1 I haven’t had a lot of long-term relationships. I had a lot of short- lived relationships before my husband. He is the longest relationship I have ever had. The longest intimate relationship I have ever had, to put it that way. Everything else has lasted no longer than four years.
Male 2 ?
Female 3 I come from a large family…and I had a chance to observe my brothers and sisters mistakes. I observed their relationships and their friends and the company that they kept. I chose to be a more of a loner, and I was fine with that, I was content with that…I didn’t want to date. My sisters and my brothers dated and I think they wore me out so much with all of their issues. I had friends, I had guys pursue me, and I was totally un- interested. I was in a previous marriage, and I married someone who was in the military and I think I married too early.
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Male 4 I bond mainly sexually. And in the overall history with the opposite sex, first thought on my mind. How good they look, and then later on, more than that, how they thought, how intelligent were they….But I sold myself out to that. Just sexual desire, pretty much. And to look good in the presence of others because of who was with me.
Female 5 I was married before my marriage lasted for two years. In between divorcing and meeting my husband, I didn’t date a whole lot….
Male 6 I’ve not been the most stable person. I have been known to rush into things. Catch feelings real quick. Want to get into a relationship, get emotionally and sexually involved right away. I’m usually the romantic. The one looking for love and I’m all in, relatively quick. Rushing into things is never good. It’s been disastrous…. So I can’t tell you what it would feel like to take it slow, cause I have never done that. I feel like I would get involved with one young lady, and then move on to the next one, I wouldn’t leave myself time to get over the last one. I would leave one and jump right into the next one as soon as I could and then it would cause problems. So I feel that I carry a lot of baggage to the next relationship and I see that now, too bad I didn’t see that, it took me 36 years to figure that out.
Female 7 Most of my relationships have been long-term. What I mean by long-term is over a year…I have had some short-term relationships. I guess I always kept the relationship still on the friendship basis…I tell people all the time, when you get married, you have to marry your friend, because that person is an individual.
(table continues)
Category J: Things Around you Influencing Marriage
Interview Question 10: Tell me about how things around you influence your marriage?
This question was developed to see how participants’ socioeconomic experiences could
influence their perception of marriage dissatisfaction. Five of seven participants
interviewed commented on how financial money problems affect their relationship. Four
of seven participants stated that their family had a negative effect on their perception of
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their marriage relationship. Most of the females assigned prior family experiences as
negative influences on their perception of marriage dissatisfaction and males assigned
their children and financial issues that increased their level of marriage dissatisfaction.
Table 11 will further summarize participant’s responses.
Table 11 Socioeconomic / Coping Expressions of Dissatisfaction: What Affects the Marriage
Gender ID # Theme 10: : What Affects the Marriage
Female 1 Our money. Our finances definitely affect our relationship. Where we live….A lot, right now the biggest issues are finances, my medical challenges and sex.
Male 2 Well my girl feels dissatisfied with her look, with her style, with her own personal charisma, and I had to find out, that it was due to maybe health issues and then psychologically she has always been on top of it. She ain’t never had to be down at the bottom, alright, and so as she was going and working and growing up, she’s always been at the top of the curve where she has been as her social status. Now her economic status has kinda fallen and changed cause of the whole economic climate, and it, and she sometimes still holds on to what she wants, yet won’t let go of everything so she clear it and then come back up to what you are going through. Where me, on the other side, I realize I had to put all my clothes in the car, left all my bed, all my furniture, couldn’t take nothing with me.
Female 3 I see a lot of marriages break up and I believe that the marriages could have been saved. So other failed marriages cause me to bond closer to my husband. It causes me to see it more than just problems with one another.
Male 4 Church life really influenced us positively. We have had some money problems, and the way I behave with money really causes our relationship to not be in the area of satisfaction, which I am really working on that now, like never before. So money, church, kids.
Female 5 Looking at family members and other people going through certain things.
Male 6 The only things that really affect my marriage are the things that are close to me like my kids, my financial situation or
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something like that, all that affects me.
Female 7 His daddy got divorced three times. His mother has been divorced twice….You still gotta go for what you want, not what had happened.
(table continues)
Category K: Memories of Marriage
Interview Question 11: Tell me about some of the memories you have about your
marriage? This question was developed so participants could delve into how their former
experiences influenced their perception of marriage satisfaction. All participants
expressed having positive memorable experiences with their mate. Some of the
experiences listed were: spending quality time, bonding and connecting with their spouse,
and making positive memories of their marriage. Only two out of seven individuals
associated the first meeting of their spouse as their best marriage memory. Some of the
female participants noted family trips and vacations as positive memories of their
marriage. Table 12 summarizes these comments.
Table 12 Socioeconomic / Coping Expressions of Dissatisfaction: Memories of Marriage
Gender ID # Theme 11: : Memories of Marriage
Female 1 We go to QuikTrip and just sit and relax and chill out and eat hot dogs in the car, and it’s very cute. Very high school ish, but nice. We’ll go get a cup of coffee late at night and sit in the driveway and talk for hours….We are not arguing. No arguing, we are just kinda eating and relaxing and laughing.
Male 2 We are still very young, but I think we have some good memories. When we traveled together. We had a few better memories as to even before we were married…..I think our ability to have dinner and walk and laugh….Bad memories include all the fussing and the fighting.
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Female 3 When we first met, I think that’s a great memory of where I met my husband. We met on the job, and I think it’s a great memory because the job where we worked, we had a lot of hungry men, and so when I was interested in my husband, it kind of baffled the other men around him…..When I met my husband, he had such a real, warm smile and it was so genuine and that just captivated me….Having our children, carrying his children was definitely a memorable moment.
Male 4 I love the memory of us coming together…She was pulling me in so I could not only share about my problems, I can share about my likes, what inspires me, what I dream about.
Female 5 The most recent memory, family vacations. Date nights. We have had some pretty good date nights. We also have separated twice.
Male 6 I got a lot of good memories. I think it’s about half and half cause we just starting out, January 8 will be three years, and we spent roughly two thirds of that time in controversy. But we are creating good memories now.
Female 7 We had a wonderful wedding, a wonderful reception. We traveled, or we did travel a lot. We still go on trips for family stuff. I decided not to divorce him after I found out I had a step-child. We have had our good times and our bad times. And when we do have some down time, we are able to giggle and play.
(table continues)
Category L: Chance at Upward Mobility
Interview Question 12: Tell me about how finances and a chance of upward mobility
might influence your marriage? This question was developed to allow participants to
consider if the experience of more money and upward mobility would affect their
marriage perceptions. Six of seven participants interviewed believed this would have a
positive influence on their marriage. One out of seven participants (a female participant)
believed it would negatively affect both her and her spouse’s ability to remain married,
citing that a new rise in income and status would destroy them. She feared that the
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experience of being comfortable and well off financially would affect her relationship
negatively. It is important to note that this participant recently reported experiencing a
substantial loss of income as a result of unemployment. Table 13 summarizes some of the
comments provided by participants in this category.
Table 13 Socioeconomic / Coping Expressions of Dissatisfaction: Upward Mobility
Gender ID # Theme 12: : Chance of Upward Mobility
Female 1 It would affect it greatly. It won’t cure all the problems, but it would certainly I think be a relief as far as what we buy, when we buy it….It would affect where we travel, where we eat….It wouldn’t solve everything cause money isn’t everything and we all know that but it would definitely solve some of our life issues and concerns that might change how we act with each other, I would hope.
Male 2 I think finances would be a great way of helping us to stabilize and get to where we would like to be. I don’t think money makes me but I think I make money and if I could do more with money, it allows the exchange of me to do the work that God will have me to do.
Female 3 I think it would destroy us. And I’m sure my husband would say the same thing. Because I have thought about that so many times. I think it would affect us in a negative way….Anything beyond being comfortable is a fear, because I don’ know myself well enough to say I would be grounded.
Male 4 It’s already started because I’m starting to budget. I’m focused intently on my money spending habits….I think she is seeing how focused I am, how responsible I am, and how as a man, I’m beginning to really financially take care of the home which is one of her desires….And it is changing the dynamics of our relationship because she is able to put more of her trust in me.
Female 5 I think it would be an excellent influence. We both have goals, things we want to accomplish, so of course that would help us achieve our goals. We are on the same page. It wouldn’t cause me to love him any more or less…It would
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increase the security of our future, which would be less stressful.
Male 6 I think that would have a tremendous effect on my relationship because that speaks to her love language, acts of service more. I have noticed that our relationship has gotten a lot better since I have gotten a part time job and the financial pressure has been taken away. So money is not much of an issue…Before then, we were arguing and fighting constantly. And it was constant financial struggles all the time, and she didn’t want to have sex, she was worrying about money and stuff and money would really turn things around, and relieve a lot of worry for her. Me too, but mostly her.
Female 7 I think that would put a light above his head, and emotionally he would need it. I mean, I need it too, but we would stay focused. We would give our 10% to the church and maybe more….we would make sure that the kids are set…we would pay off our bills, set up for us in retirement, set up for the kids to have something for their kids….We would get a financial planner.
(table continues)
Summary
This chapter reported data obtained from participants for this qualitative study,
which explored perceptions of marriage dissatisfaction among African American married
individuals. All of the participants within this study had been married at least one year
and from a variety of different socioeconomic populations. The majority of participants
were in their first marriage during the time of this interview. Overall, the majority of
participants believed that marriage dissatisfaction stemmed from issues in feeling
“happy” with their marriage. Most of the individuals interviewed expressed positive
feelings about their spouse, but also were experiencing some hesitations and challenges
with their spouse. The majority of women interviewed stated that they perceived sexual
intimacy and finances as major areas among their male spouses for dissatisfaction.
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Several participants reported unanimously that they saw things differently from their
spouse and reported differences in needs within the marriage and lack of communication
as the contributor to perceptual differences. The majority of participants interviewed
believed their parents and family history did not provide positive examples of satisfied
marriages for participants to emulate. The following chapter includes the thoughts,
conclusions, and recommendations in retrospect of this study’s findings.
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Chapter 5: Discussion, Conclusions, and Recommendations
Introduction
The purpose of this study was to explore the perceptions of marital dissatisfaction
and how these contribute to the formation of dissatisfaction among African American
married couples. This study provided a qualitative methodology and examined
understanding of how couples’ thoughts, feelings, and perceptions are attributed to
perceived marital dissatisfaction within various social and relational environments.
Although various studies are available on African American satisfaction in marriages,
there is a lack of research on marriage dissatisfaction among African American couples
through the lens of their coping, attachment, and socioeconomic experiences. Marks,
Hopkins, Chaney, Monroe, Nesteruk, and Sasser (2008) noted that there is a lack of
research available that addresses interpersonal-level issues within African American
marriages.
African American individuals who are married report difficulties in coping and
bonding in various situations and environments. This is particularly true in relation to
encounters within their family, attachments, historically learned behaviors,
socioeconomic issues, dealing with controlling personalities, pressures from internal and
external factors, and surviving various forms of emotional abuse. These difficulties in
coping and bonding include both family systems and ecological systems (Garrett‐Peters,
Mills‐Koonce, Zerwas, Cox, and Vernon‐Feagans, 2011).
In terms of participants defining what marriage dissatisfaction meant to them,
dissatisfaction resulted when there was an absence of being “happy” within a marriage.
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This confirmed the importance of understanding marriage dissatisfaction through the lens
of personal perceptions, since ambitions, meanings, and motivation for relationships are
key factors of personal functioning within relationships (Marks, Hopkins, Chaney,
Monroe, Nesteruk, & Sasser, 2008).
Historically, the African American family was a fortress to marriage longevity in
comparison to current declining marriage rates among African Americans. Participants
interviewed in this study confirmed how important the role of family plays in maintaining
a satisfied marriage relationship. Participants of this study made it clear that family time
and taking time with each other on family trips and vacations were beneficial to the
longevity of a positive marriage relationship.
In this study, several participants confirmed how important it was to maintain
some level of proper coping and attachment among one’s spouse as crucial contributors
to a satisfied marriage. Most participants interviewed within this study did not feel they
bonded well with their spouses. Additionally, the majority of participants interviewed
noted factors, such as seeing things differently, as contributing to their inability to attach
and cope appropriately with their spouse. Indeed, enduring vulnerabilities, encountering
stressful events, and implementing effective adaptive processes are three major
influences on one’s relationship quality (Cutrona, Russell, Burzette, Wesner, & Bryant,
2011).
Another common theme confirmed in this study among African American
married individuals and marriage dissatisfaction was the impact historical learned
behavior has upon marriage relationships. Several participants interviewed believed that
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their parents and family failed to provide them with a positive marriage example to
emulate in their present marriage relationship. Factors such as: family and parental
conflict, stressful environments, negative caregiving experiences, and incompatibility
issues were given as points of reference.
The interviews also confirmed how important socioeconomic factors are in
relation to participant’s experience of marriage dissatisfaction. Most of the participants
interviewed agreed that most of their spouse’s conversation centered on finances. One
couple mentioned that finances definitely affect their relationship. Several participants
interviewed stated that a chance toward upward mobility would greatly affect their
quality of marriage satisfaction in various positive ways. Although, one female
participant believed upward mobility would have a negative effect on her relationship
with her spouse and would destroy the relationship, this opinion might have been affected
by the fact that at the time of this study the participant had recently reported experiencing
a sudden loss of income. This participant seemed to have a sense of fearful anticipation if
sudden upward mobility within their relationship was obtained. This participant’s fear,
however, is not supported by the literature; previous studies have shown that more stable
financial situations result in positive social effects. A risk and resiliency study about the
marital status of a single female African American parent revealed that although single
motherhood is a risk factor for encountering psychological health problems, access to
financial resources served as a protector among them from any psychological
consequences of single parenthood. Results revealed that being poor and single
contributed to psychological risk factors, but this was not true among single parents and
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mothers with access to sufficient financial resources (Mandara, Johnston, Murray, &
Varner, 2008). Furthermore, among African Americans, there was a benefit of being
socioeconomically advantaged as a protector against divorce (Kim, 2012).
When asked about their perception of their controlling behavior and interactive
quality between their spouses, seven participants of this study suggested that interactions
with their spouse were in a positive light. Four of seven participants felt interactions with
their spouse were not healthy. For this study, this confirmed that positive relationships
among extended family and kin contribute to happiness and joy (Taylor, Budescu, Gebre,
& Hodzic, 2014).
Two of the seven participants (both male participants) stated that their inability to
control their anger in relation to their spouse was a major contributor to marital
dissatisfaction. This finding is supported by the literature on controlling personalities as a
perceptual root form of marriage dissatisfaction. Anger and aggression is more
specifically associated with an individual’s negative thought patterns and is affected by
the way a person perceives others and what they expect from others as well (Guyll,
Cutrona, Burzette, & Russell, 2010).
Personal lived internal and external experiences create perceptions of marriage
dissatisfaction. Daily encounters of emotional abuse among African Americans can
procure internal and external problems, which can lead to the formation of perceived
marriage dissatisfaction. This was confirmed and particularly true among at least one
African American male within this study who associated being strong and an African
American female as domineering and unattractive traits. This view relegates strong
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African American female traits as less attractive among African American males, and as
a result, some men displace this frustration onto the African American female with whom
they are in a relationship (Bethea, 1995).
Within this study, it was common among African American female participants to
associate marriage satisfaction with their emotional feelings for their spouse; contrarily,
African American male’s emotions were sexually tied to emotional attachment with their
spouse. This report confirms former findings within the literature that African American
women are more emotionally invested in the marital relationship than African American
males and encounter more emotionally abusive experiences than males within the context
of the marriage relationship.
Limitations
Several limitations to trustworthiness arose while executing the study. There were
eleven volunteer consents to participate in this study through the email invite from a
partner agency. Four of the participants did not meet the ethnic criteria of African
American descent, which reduced the number of participants to seven. The elimination of
participants who failed to reach the groups definitions may have influenced the study and
reduced the ability to properly interpret results outside of a particular group’s
representation. More diverse group representations from other ethnic groups from varied
backgrounds, regions, and experiences outside of those who live in Mecklenburg County
and the state of North Carolina may have produced different results. This omission could
produce results that cannot be generalized back to the population of the United States.
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This study’s method of self-reported interview and volunteer responses to semi-
structured questions can yield flawed responses on romantic self-reported interview
questionnaires. Although volunteers consented to answer questions in an honest manner,
often it is difficult for participants to be self-aware about their relationships and this could
lead to discrepancies in their responses. Reductions of the above limitations were
minimized by assuring that all of the volunteers understood the importance of completion
of all surveys and that complete honesty in their responses was required. Participants
were given adequate pre-interview instructions and assistance throughout the completion
of the interview that needed additional support and clarity of instructions to complete the
portion of the interview instrument.
Recommendations
There were seven African American participants for this study. A larger number
of participants may have been possible by using a different recruitment method other than
email solicitation from the partnering agency. A larger number of African Americans
may have participated via other types of recruitment methods such as group retreat
surveys, social media or telephone surveys. This study also did not offer any of its
participant’s incentives to encourage participation. In retrospect, it is possible that an
incentive would have improved participation. Furthermore, because this study required
approximately one-hour of time to complete the one-hour interview, and required the
participant to meet during the evening, this may have discouraged participation from
typically busy staff, faculty, and students. Therefore, future studies should carefully
consider varying recruitment methods or possibly examine more than seven participants.
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Future studies could also explore how socioeconomic, coping, and attachment styles
contribute to marriage dissatisfaction among various other African American adults in
other regions outside of Mecklenburg County of Charlotte North Carolina.
Implications
This study contributed to the literature on the perceptions of marriage
dissatisfaction among African American married couples. This is a change from past
studies that primarily examined marriage dissatisfaction among Non-African American
couples. If this study is duplicated for future research it is recommended that African
Americans pursuing marriage participate in further research on marriage dissatisfaction,
which will allow the researcher to obtain other relevant data behind pre-marital
expectations and intentions formulated prior to entering marriage relationships. Also data
should be collected on pre-marriage compatibility of expectations and dissatisfaction
resolve.
Further research is needed on behaviors in dating relationships among African
American couples, especially in terms of understanding various expectant levels of
satisfaction and dissatisfaction criteria that individuals and couples have formulated over
time through parents, friends, and cultural perceptions of satisfaction.
Social Change
The implications of these findings for greater society suggest that African
Americans experiencing some form of marriage dissatisfaction can gain an understanding
of its causes and work to reduce the coping, attachment, and socioeconomic contributors
to them. Furthermore, this study contributed to social change because it examined the
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African American socioeconomic, coping, and attachment style contributors to perceived
marriage dissatisfaction within various African American contexts. Past studies have
primarily focused on European models of marriage satisfied and dissatisfied relationships
and limited their scope of study in relation to socioeconomic, coping, and attachment
style contributory experiences within dissatisfied marriages. Only a few studies have
explored coping, attachment, and socioeconomic effects upon African American
marriages and dissatisfied perceptions within the marriage context.
This study increased what is known about African American adults by examining
two groups: African American Attachment Coping Dissatisfaction (AAACD) and
African American Attachment Dissatisfaction (AAAD). Differences were found between
the two groups in attachment styles (avoidant/anxious), reported levels of relationship
satisfaction, and loneliness. Moreover, this study explored how educational and
socioeconomic levels among African Americans may have a positive effect on loneliness,
secure attachment behaviors, and higher levels of personal and other people relationship
satisfaction. Among adults, secure attachment is regarded as positive internal views of
self and others, while insecure adult attachments are characterized by internal negative
perceptions of self and others (Martin et al., 2012).
This study of two groups of African American adults did not find that the
presence or absence of parental divorce during childhood influenced attachment styles,
relationship satisfaction, or loneliness. However, this study pinpointed a number of
experiences that are dominant among African Americans, which may influence marriage
and divorce rates as a result of parental divorce experiences among their children. The
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broad scope of literature shared in this study may be useful in improving an overall
understanding of African Americans marriage dissatisfied perceptions within one’s
marriage relationship.
The qualitative method is the ideal method of choice when researching human
experiences and perceptions. Additionally, phenomenological theory is the most
preferred model of understanding the authentic nature of one’s self and proved to be the
most appropriate process of understanding the personal real life experience of
participants. This study’s qualitative and phenomenological theoretical approach enabled
the researcher to retrieve a clearer understanding of behavioral dynamics in relation to
participants’ coping, attachment, and socioeconomic life experiences.
Conclusion
This study has shown the importance of exploring perceptions of dissatisfaction
among African American married individuals. It researched the thoughts, understanding,
and lived experiences of African American married individuals within the context of
various coping, attachment, and socioeconomic experiences. The findings showed that
most married individuals define marriage dissatisfaction as the absence of being “happy”
within the marriage context. Additionally, findings showed that although most of the
participants interviewed shared positive thoughts about their spouse (in terms of
dissatisfaction) the majority of participants still embodied a sense of hesitation in terms
of being fully satisfied in their marriage relationship with their spouse. Within this study
the majority of participants agreed that communication was a key component within
satisfied marriages and a majority of interviewees had different opinions and thoughts
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during times of communication. Several participants expressed that their inability to cope
and attach properly increased their perceived notions of marriage dissatisfaction with
their spouse and some viewed these as points of contention, while others viewed these as
a spring board from which to work to keep dissatisfied feelings at a minimum. Overall,
marriage dissatisfaction patterns within these individuals were similar to marriage
dissatisfaction literature I found among other ethnic groups in the United States. It
benefits people who are in married relationships to gain a clearer understanding of their
spouse’s dissatisfaction perceptions. Knowledge of these perceptions will help
individuals and couples create stronger, intimate bonds between their spouse, strong
families, and harmonious shared relationships.
130
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Appendix A
DEMOGRAPHIC QUESTIONNAIRE
1. What is your sex?
o Male
o Female
2. What is your age?
o 30-35
o 36-40
o 41-45
o 46-50
o 51-55
3. Are you:
o Married
o Divorced
o Separated
o Never been married
o Remarried
o Divorced more than once
o A member of an unmarried couple
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4. If you are married, how old were you when you married?
o 18- 21
o 22-25
o 26-30
o 31-40
o 41-50
o 51-over
o Not Applicable
6. Are your parents:
o Married
o Divorced
o Separated
o Never been married
o Remarried
o Divorced more than once
o A member of an unmarried couple
7. If your parents have ever been married, what age were you when they married?
o They married before I was born
o Birth to 5 years old
o 6 to 10 years old
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o 11 to 13 years old
o 14 to 18 years old
o Older than eighteen years old
o My parents never married
8. If your parents divorced when you were a child, how old were you at the time of
their divorce?
o Birth to age 5
o 6 to 10 years old
o 11 to 15 years old
o 16 to 18 years old
o 18 and older
o Not Applicable, they remained married
o Not Applicable, they separated but never divorced
9. What is your current household income in U.S. dollars?
o Under $10,000
o $10,000-$19,999
o $20,000-29,999
o $30,000-$39,999
o $40,000-$49,999
o $50,000-$74,999
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o $75,000-99,999
o $100,000-$150,000
o Over $150,000
o Would rather not say
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Appendix B
INTERVIEW QUESTIONS
PART A - Define Marriage Dissatisfaction Experiences
RQ1. How do African American Couples define their marriage?
1. Tell me how you feel about your spouse?
2. Tell me about the thoughts your spouse has expressed about you?
Part B: Ascertain African American Couples Coping and Attachment
Dissatisfaction Experiences
RQ2. How do coping mechanism and attachment styles contribute to marital
dissatisfaction?
1. Tell me about how your marriage experiences contribute to your view of
marriage?
2. Tell me about the things you and your mate communicate about often?
3. Tell me about the way your family and people you’re around influences your
current perception of what it means to have a satisfied marriage?
4. Tell me about some of the ways you and your spouse may see things
differently?
5. Tell me about the way that you and your spouse interact with each other?
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Part C: Ascertain African American married individuals socioeconomic and coping
expressions of marriage dissatisfaction
RQ2. How do coping mechanism and attachment styles contribute to marital
dissatisfaction?
RQ3. How do African American couples feel their socioeconomic experiences can
influence their marriage?
1. Tell me about your relationship history?
2. Tell me about how things around you influence your marriage?
3. Tell me about some of the memories you have about your marriage?
4. Tell me about how finances and a chance of upward mobility may influence
your marriage relationship?
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Appendix C
TRANSCRIPTION ID Number Question 1: Age 1 49 2 52 3 48 4 46 5 36 6 36 7 39 ID Number Question 2: Married, Divorced,
Separated
1 Married 2 Married 3 Married 4 Married 5 Married 6 Married 7 Married ID Number Question 3: Age when Married 1 46 2 49 3 32 4 30..30,32…Let’s say about 31, 32. Yes. 5 33 6 33 7 32 ID Number Question 4: Parents Marital Status 1 Divorced 2 My parents are both deceased, and they
died, my mother was a widow. (Married?) 3 Married
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4 Married 5 Married 6 Married 7 Divorced (was 14) ID Number Question 5: Current Household Income 1 Around $100,000 2 Together, about 100K 3 60plus? 4 About $35,000 to $37,000 a year 5 I think I would say around 75, 75,000. 6 Together, we’re about 75/80,000.
Somewhere in that range. 7 Let me see if I can give you a rough
estimate…Our household income has reduced greatly. 50,000 combined.
ID Number Question 6: Definition of Marital
Dissatisfaction 1 You are arguing all the time. You don’t
feel like you have a sanctuary at home. 2 I think to be martially dissatisfied is that
you are not getting maybe all of your needs met. And that you have or had a perceived notion of what you thought marriage would be. And then it didn’t become that.
3 I think marital dissatisfaction means to me that the marriage is no longer growing. That the marriage has ceased from growing. That the spouses are not content with one another…And that they are no longer happy.
4 I think that is an area where either the couple or the one individual in the relationship is not satisfied with the other spouse. Their interaction with one another, the way they perceive one another, the way they respond to one another, it is dissatisfied in that
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connection. Maybe the way my spouse perceives me.
5 I would say unhappy more often than happy.
6 I would say that dissatisfaction is a situation where you have two people who failed to yield to each other’s needs. And failed to communicate about it.
7 To be satisfied in a marriage would be to be happy and content. To understand that you are part of a team. To have respect from someone that is your spouse in all aspects of life. Your good times and your bad times, and to ultimately put God first and to pray together to get through the good times, or the bad times. And just knowing that you are loved unconditionally for the person that you are, for the type of personality that you have.
ID Number Question 7: Feelings Towards Spouse 1 I love my spouse, however, I hate to put a
but on it, but he gets on my nerves…He challenges everything I say.
2 I think that we try to get past the dissatisfaction. We try to empathize with one another about what our needs are. But I think we tend to take it for granted that you are supposed to know what the other should want or desire and so it then comes into play an ability to communicate about them. If you don’t communicate that, that further feeds into that dissatisfaction.
3 I admire him. I greatly admire him. I love him, and am in love with him.
4 Well, I feel great about my spouse. She is my wife. She is a part of me, I’m a part of her. So generally, I love her dearly. Am I dissatisfied? I don’t know if that’s part of
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the question, but I feel generally good about our relationship. I feel great about her and who she is.
5 I love my spouse. I think he is very attentive. He tries his best to do for the family. And I know that he loves me and that’s a good feeling.
6 I love my wife. She is the air that I breathe. It might sound a little cheesy, but she is my world. And I guess they say that you shouldn’t make anybody your whole world, but truth of the matter is, she is my whole world.
7 I still like him…I still love him. Through good times and bad times, I know that he is there. I just know that my spouse doesn’t know how to be there for me….I don’t think that he is able to sometimes come from my point of view in understanding from where I am and so we have a little bit of difficulties with that. But overall, I still like him, I still love him.
ID Number Question 8: Thoughts Spouse Expressed
Toward You 1 He would be dissatisfied also. Sex is a huge
issue for him, what we are and are not doing, cause I am closed off regarding it. That I don’t trust him.
2 I have mixed emotions about it, because at times, I don’t feel that it is adequately known or understand what is lacking. Again because of what is or isn’t happening. But I think the dissatisfaction and what my wife wants, she tries to just her nature is to be a fixer or to make sure that everything is alright.
3 His thoughts are that I am complicated….that I’m really complicated…I think that I can be a little
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unpredictable. I think when he feels like he has me figured out, he finds that ok, there’s still a lot to learn….Although that appears to sound negative, I think that he actually admires that…I think he admires me in both the areas of strength and weaknesses. I think that he admires them, because I think it balances us.
4 She thinks greatly of me. She says that I inspire her in many ways. She says that she loves me more than I love her. She also expresses how I disappoint her in many areas. She easily sees what is not right about me and she tries to correct them or she tries to expose them to me so that I can correct them.
5 He says he loves me. He told me that I’m a good wife. That I’m a good mother. He calls me beautiful a lot. He tells me how proud he is of me because of a lot going on right now in my life. And just of the way I handle things.
6 She tells me that she loves me and I don’t really get much of a verbal expression in my view from her. I think she tries to love me in her language, which is acts of service. Which doesn’t really speak that loudly to me, even though it is appreciated. It doesn’t speak that loudly to me cause it’s not my language. But every now and then she will surprise me and say something or do a little something that lets me know she cares, but she doesn’t really speak as loud to me. You know, in a language that I can understand.
7 That I talk too much. He is proud of me, I know that. He is proud of all my accomplishments. He appreciates the fact that I am a good mom and a good stepmom to his daughter. I know my husband loves my heart. He would say
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that I am a good woman. ID Number Question 9: Marriage Experiences 1 I don’t think we bond well enough. I think
our level of intimacy or bonding intimacy is lacking….I’m not a priority.
2 I think it’s two‐folded in regards that I think we bonded in a great way in how we met, with knowing each other and having a chemistry of being able to talk from the very beginning. Once we became married and there became maybe some pitfalls or trials or barriers to us bonding a little better when it came to being sexually involved or talking a little bit more in depth, that’s where you get that break….So now I have to bag up or be able to create some space to have a moment to process this information to better bond….And so it is essential that you understand all principles, all the information I think.
3 Challenges and problems within the marriage bring us closer together. I try not to take anything for granted, although I enjoy good times and peaceful times, but I don’t take it for granted. Because I know that we will have our share of problems, but I look at those problems or challenges that we have as an opportunity to show our love towards one another. I think that the challenges and problems that we face actually brings us closer. It helps us to get to know one another in areas that maybe we have never had a chance to observe of one another. How we handle certain problems. I think that’s when my vows are challenged. That it’s more than just words, but they are commitments. So that’s how I see the problems and
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challenges. I think it strengthens the marriage.
4 In an early part of our marriage, anytime that my wife was dealing with something that bothered her, she would take a physical position in talking to me, which is a message in itself. That was one experience that was leading to dissatisfaction. I couldn’t bond that way. And I would deal with it negatively.
5 As of lately, I view myself as having a healthy marriage. I’m more happy than unhappy. I mean of course there have been some negative experiences. And there was a time when I would say that my marriage was unhealthy (lots of arguing, a lot of selfishness, pride, insecurities, fear), but as of recently, I think I have a fairly healthy marriage.
6 Marriage is work. It’s more work than my full‐time job. It’s a lot of mental exercise, a lot of emotional and physical work. I think it’s a learning curve for me, and it’s growing pains.
7 Growing up, I watched my parents get divorced. The fact that I am a Christian and believe in marriage and unity and having a marriage and being married to your friend to raise a family, and to have a partner for life, that is my foundation. I watched my grandparents stay together, and they were married till death do they part…..Marriage is work. You have to physically put in work.
ID Number Question 10: Communicate about often 1 There is a lot of communication about
money and sex. Those are the negative things. The positive things that we talk about are our relationships with God.
2 ?
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3 The future. Things that we desire to have. We will communicate about finances, we communicate about things that we would like to come in possession of, whether it’s a house or a car or a promotion. We communicate about the Word a lot. We try to have devotions together as much as we can, even to sacrifice to make that happen. We have to sacrifice to get that time together. I think it’s a balance of speaking about spiritual, health, finances, where we are emotionally.
4 We talk about us. We talk about our day, we talk about what we are going through in the course of a day. We talk about the Scriptures. We talk about the kids. We talk about money often.
5 We communicate about the children, we communicate about intimacy or sex. My husband is more of a communicator than I am. So he will communicate about his day, what happens at work. We communicate about finances. If I had to put them in order, I would probably say: communication about sex and intimacy is number 1, then kids, and then finances.
6 We don’t do a whole lot of it. I think a conversation in my definition is an act of exchange for both parties. With a come and go. I don’t think I get that from her. It’s usually, I engage her, I probe her. I may or may not get information that I am requesting. I don’t know if we really know how to talk to each other yet.
7 The kids’ schedule. Finances, and family factors. Our parents and those that are around us that affect us in some way.
ID Number Question 11: Family, Those Around
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Influence Perception of Satisfied Marriage
1 I Unfortunately, had an idealistic view of marriage. From watching TV, reading all the books I have read…And then watching my friends and my parents be married and what I thought should happen to him and I. I had a lot of ideals.
2 If I had to use my family and folk around me, I don’t have no real good examples. If I use that as a method for really kind of being the parameter, there’s been a lot of divorces. And society as a whole, if you really looked at it, you wouldn’t give marriage a chance, you wouldn’t give marriage a shot.
3 I think our church family is a strong influence. To fight for marriage when you are looking at it from a spiritual scope, Christ versus the Devil…I believe that the church family is a strong influence to make right decisions to endure, to persevere, to go through long suffering, and to know that it’s not strange to suffer or to be challenged in your marriage…I believe fellowshipping with one another, and letting you know that there’s nothing new under the sun, that you aren’t facing some new thing that we haven’t already gone through….Of course my parents are a strong influence.
4 In my family, I always thought that my mom was not satisfied. I always thought that my dad was not satisfied….There was a constant disconnect. So how do they influence me? I took that positively. I turned it around positively.
5 My parents have had some rocky times in their marriage. I would probably view their marriage as being ok. My husband and I have been through counseling. I realize that everybody’s got some issues in
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their marriage. Nobody’s marriage is perfect. It makes me look at what I have, and it’s a blessing because we have come a long way and it could be a lot worse than it is. And it could be better than what it is. Just because we might have some issues in our marriage, I still perceive our marriage as being a healthy marriage.
6 I don’t know if I have any really good examples to follow cause my mom and dad over the years seem to have a lot of fighting, and a whole lot of hangups and hurt feelings that never really seemed to get resolved. And that’s the example that I have to go by.
7 Communication and downtime. Life is gonna keep you busy. But you need to stop and talk to each other. If you don’t stop and the couple themselves have some down time, it’s gonna get away from you. Life is gonna get in the way regardless.
ID Number Question 12: Seeing things differently 1 We see differently on a lot of different
things. I often tell him there’s more than one way to skin a cat.
2 I think my spouse sees it differently because she thinks that I’m working. I work and I put my physical fitness, my overall health in the mix and so that time kinda battles with the time that I think that she thinks I should put in with her and that creates a dissatisfaction.
3 We see a lot of things differently. I’m an observer and I’m a thinker, and so, I look at a situation, and we’re bumping heads, with our views or are seeing things through a different perspective, I think it has a lot to do with the way we were raised.
4 She has helped me see the things that I
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don’t see, and a lot of times I don’t see anything. But then sometimes, when she sees she is helping me, sometimes when she is wrong, or it’s hard sometimes for me to disagree with her.
5 Being that we have different needs, He may view a healthy marriage as consisting of the more sex you have, the healthier your marriage is. Being able to listen and speak both sides is a really health marriage. One of the key components of a health marriage is being able to communicate effectively.
6 It seems like we see everything differently. I seem to be more of a pessimist and she seems to be more of an optimist.
7 To be honest with you, we kinda are on the same page….But I do think we have a communication breakdown there (with scheduling). We don’t see eye to eye there. And overall, as far as any decisions, he leaves them up to me, and then when I ask, he gets upset.
ID Number Question 13: Interact with each Other 1 Right now it’s shaky. We will have weeks
or days of, it seems to me that we have bonded well. That we get along well and I love him to pieces, and then in a flash, he will say or do something or don’t say or do something and it’s on and popping and it just stinks….I would like us to not argue so much.
2 I think we are hit and miss. Sometimes we ebb and flow and we do really well. To have a good time and I think other times we then miss that mark. But other times, then there’s another time where we will ebb and glow. We will be in together and we will be in sync.
3 We get along very well. We laugh, we talk,
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we communicate. I look forward to seeing him and chatting with him about my day. I believe it’s vise versa. We enjoy a lot of the same things, desire to do a lot of the same things…
4 It’s peaceful. It’s more peaceful now than it was in the past. I’m in more control more of my tone now.
5 We have physical interaction. We always set aside a time in the evening when the kids are in bed to have that us time. Whether we use it to talk or to watch TV. That’s out bonding time. So that’s mainly how we interact. Most of our negative interactions come because, most of it is about sex and intimacy. His high need for it, and mine doesn’t match that so that’s where a lot of our negative interactions come in.
6 I think we interact with each other pretty good. It depends on what is going on. If I am working and giving her the benefit of the doubt, and I’m being conscious of keeping my anger down and not being explosive and reactive, we seem to get along pretty good. She’s not much of a communicator..I feel rejected, pushed away, and isolated.
7 I have labeled me and him as Edith and Archie Bonker. The little angry old man who got a big old heart. And the sweet little old lady that, she don’t care what Archie says, she do her own thing. That’s where we are right now. We can change, but that’s just where we are right now.
ID Number Question 14: Relationship History 1 I haven’t had a lot of long term
relationships. I had a lot of short‐lived relationships before my husband. He is the longest relationship I have ever had. The
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longest intimate relationship I have ever had, to put it that way. Everything else has lasted no longer than four years.
2 ? 3 I come from a large family…and I had a
chance to observe my brothers and sisters mistakes. I observed their relationships and their friends and the company that they kept. I chose to be a more of a loner, and I was fine with that, I was content with that…I didn’t want to date. My sisters and my brothers dated and I think they wore me out so much with all of their issues. I had friends, I had guys pursue me, and I was totally un‐interested. I was in a previous marriage, and I married someone who was in the military and I think I married too early.
4 I bond mainly sexually. And in the overall history with the opposite sex, first thought on my mind. How good they look, and then later on, more than that, how they thought, how intelligent were they….But I sold myself out to that. Just sexual desire, pretty much. And to look good in the presence of others because of who was with me.
5 I was married before..my marriage lasted for two years. In between divorcing and meeting my husband, I didn’t date a whole lot….
6 I’ve not been the most stable person. I have been known to rush into things. Catch feelings real quick. Want to get into a relationship, get emotionally and sexually involved right away. I’m usually the romantic. The one looking for love and I’m all in, relatively quick. Rushing into things is never good. It’s been disastrous…. So I can’t tell you what it would feel like to take it slow, cause I have never done that. I feel like I would get involved with one
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young lady, and then move on to the next one, I wouldn’t leave myself time to get over the last one. I would leave one and jump right into the next one as soon as I could and then it would cause problems. So I feel that I carry a lot of baggage to the next relationship and I see that now, too bad I didn’t see that, it took me 36 years to figure that out.
7 Most of my relationships have been long‐ term. What I mean by long‐term is over a year…I have had some short‐term relationships. I guess I always kept the relationship still on the friendship basis…I tell people all the time, when you get married, you have to marry your friend, because that person is an individual.
ID Number Question 15: Things around you
Influencing Marriage 1 Our money. Our finances definitely affect
our relationship. Where we live….A lot, right now the biggest issues are finances, my medical challenges and sex.
2 Well my girl feels dissatisfied with her look, with her style, with her own personal charisma, and I had to find out, that it was due to maybe health issues and then psychologically she has always been on top of it. She ain’t never had to be down at the bottom, alright, and so as she was going and working and growing up, she’s always been at the top of the curve where she has been as her social status. Now her economic status has kinda fallen and changed cause of the whole economic climate, and it, and she sometimes still holds on to what she wants, yet won’t let go of everything so she clear it and then come back up to what you are going through. Where me, on the other side, I
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realize I had to put all my clothes in the car, left all my bed, all my furniture, couldn’t take nothing with me.
3 I see a lot of marriages break up and I believe that the marriages could have been saved. So other failed marriages cause me to bond closer to my husband. It causes me to see it more than just problems with one another.
4 Church life really influenced us positively. We have had some money problems, and the way I behave with money really causes our relationship to not be in the area of satisfaction, which I am really working on that now, like never before. So money, church, kids.
5 Looking at family members and other people going through certain things.
6 The only things that really affect my marriage are the things that are close to me like my kids, my financial situation or something like that, all that affects me.
7 His daddy got divorced three times. His mother has been divorced twice….You still gotta go for what you want, not what had happened.
ID Number Question 16: Memories of marriage 1 We go to Quik Trip and just sit and relax
and chill out and eat hot dogs in the car, and it’s very cute. Very high school ish, but nice. We’ll go get a cup of coffee late at night and sit in the driveway and talk for hours….We are not arguing. No arguing, we are just kinda eating and relaxing and laughing.
2 We are still very young, but I think we have some good memories. When we traveled together. We had a few better memories as to even before we were married…..I think our ability to have dinner and walk and laugh….Bad
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memories include all the fussing and the fighting.
3 When we first met, I think that’s a great memory of where I met my husband. We met on the job, and I think it’s a great memory because the job where we worked, we had a lot of hungry men, and so when I was interested in my husband, it kind of baffled the other men around him…..When I met my husband, he had such a real, warm smile and it was so genuine and that just captivated me….Having our children, carrying his children was definitely a memorable moment.
4 I love the memory of us coming together…She was pulling me in so I could not only share about my problems, I can share about my likes, what inspires me, what I dream about.
5 The most recent memory, family vacations. Date nights. We have had some pretty good date nights. We also have separated twice.
6 I got a lot of good memories. I think it’s about half and half cause we just starting out, January 8 will be three years, and we spent roughly two thirds of that time in controversy. But we are creating good memories now.
7 We had a wonderful wedding, a wonderful reception. We traveled, or we did travel a lot. We still go on trips for family stuff. I decided not to divorce him after I found out I had a step‐child.We have had out good times and our bad times. And when we do have some down time, we are able to giggle and play.
ID Number Question 17: Chance at Upward Mobility
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1 It would affect it greatly. It won’t cure all the problems, but it would certainly I think be a relief as far as what we buy, when we buy it….It would affect where we travel, where we eat….It wouldn’t solve everything cause money isn’t everything and we all know that but it would definitely solve some of our life issues and concerns that might change how we act with each other, I would hope.
2 I think finances would be a great way of helping us to stabilize and get to where we would like to be. I don’t think money makes me but I think I make money and if I could do more with money, it allows the exchange of me to do the work that God will have me to do.
3 I think it would destroy us. And I’m sure my husband would say the same thing. Because I have thought about that so many times. I think it would affect us in a negative way….Anything beyond being comfortable is a fear, because I don’ know myself well enough to say I would be grounded.
4 It’s already started because I’m starting to budget. I’m focused intently on my money spending habits….I think she is seeing how focused I am, how responsible I am, and how as a man, I’m beginning to really financially take care of the home which is one of her desires….And it is changing the dynamics of our relationship because she is able to put more of her trust in me.
5 I think it would be an excellent influence. We both have goals, things we want to accomplish, so of course that would help us achieve our goals. We are on the same page. It wouldn’t cause me to love him any more or less…It would increase the security of our future, which would be less
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stressful. 6 I think that would have a tremendous
effect on my relationship because that speaks to her love language, acts of service more. I have noticed that our relationship has gotten a lot better since I have gotten a part time job and the financial pressure has been taken away. So money is not much of an issue…Before then, we were arguing and fighting constantly. And it was constant financial struggles all the time, and she didn’t want to have sex, she was worrying about money and stuff and money would really turn things around, and relieve a lot of worry for her. Me too, but mostly her.
7 I think that would put a light above his head, and emotionally he would need it. I mean, I need it too, but we would stay focused. We would give our 10% to the church and maybe more….we would make sure that the kids are set…we would pay off our bills, set up for us in retirement, set up for the kids to have something for their kids….We would get a financial planner.
ID Number Question 18: Advice for couples 1 The biggest thing I think is learning how
to submit. Not submissive but learning how to submit….I didn’t want to submit to his authority, his position in our relationship, although I wanted him to be there. I wanted to be married, I wanted to marry him, but I didn’t want to submit. So oftentimes, I would suggest to women to practice submitting at some point in time, not to a boyfriend, but learning how to let go of being the loss at the job, or the boss at your house, and learning you have to share that responsibility and fall back so he can be in his position and support him in that position.
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2 I think you have to be able to go in it with your eyes open and be mindful of your partner, who you are marrying…If we follow God’s precepts and His commandments, He put a great thing together in marriage. If you go in it right, I don’t think that you will have any problems.
3 Pre‐marital counseling is vital. Having your credit report, being able to exchange credit reports, to exchange criminal records, to exchange medical reports. I think that if you’re going to commit to someone, I think that if you are going to invest your life with someone, I think all of those things should be in your face.
4 I would tell a young African=American male that a woman seeks and needs security. Security in their spouse in every area. They need and desire a man to completely cover them. Protect them and protection has, this kind of protection has nothing to do with muscle strength. Which a lot of men think. Although that’s good, they want you to be strong financially….You are responsible for her and you have to take on the challenge of being better so you can fulfill that responsibility. And you need to be accountable so honesty.
5 Learning or knowing how to manage conflict in the right way will be the key to having a happy marriage or an unhappy marriage. For most of the African Americans I know, it’s a lot about sometimes being afraid to express emotions. I think it’s important to find a way to express yourself. It’s a matter of knowing your spouse and knowing how to communicate with them.
6 I would tell them that you can’t put conditions on love. And when you make
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that choice to enter that covenant, you have to go into it with a made up mind that you are gonna love that person no matter what they do. And you have to constantly turn the other cheek, constantly forgive, constantly do what’s in their best interest, no matter how you feel about what’s going on between you and them.
7 To the man‐ you about to marry this woman that you love dearly and greatly. Continue to treat her as a queen. She is your support and help system. Tell her. Let her know what your needs and your wants are. Keep it simple. And say it before you get married, so she knows what she is walking into. Don’t expect her to pull miracles you can’t perform. Ladies, make sure that he is your friend. Make sure you tell him how you feel and what you need as well. Always connect. Men, don’t lie about your money. Don’t expect your spouse to be perfect or fix your flaws. They are there to help you fix your flaws.
- Walden University
- ScholarWorks
- 2016
- Exploration of Perceptions of Marriage Dissatisfaction Among African American Couples
- Terrence Schofield
- Microsoft Word - SchofieldTFinalDissertation
