P Essay Redo

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Name: EXAMPLE OUTLINE

Persuasive Essay Outline

Introductory Paragraph:

Hook: Many nutritional experts blame the obesity crisis in the United States on the development

of and rise in popularity of fast food.

Additional lead-in Information (2-4 sentences on background or contextual information):

However, over last the fifty years the country changed much of the way that farms are operated

in the United States. Traditionally, farms were rotated crop farms which grew certain vegetables

depending in the season. However, those days are nothing more than a memory and the toll is

felt by all Americans as it has greatly impacted the health of American society. Americans never

questioned this shift as food costs were low and the food was inspected by the United States

Food and Drug Administration (USFDA). Americans had no idea how even just the beef that the

country eats could impact the health of the nation.

Thesis Sentence: : Grass fed beef is a better option than corn fed beef because it has a high

nutritional value, can provide the body with much needed Omega 3 fatty acids, and contains the

health benefits of conjugated linoleic acid.

Support for Thesis 1

Topic Sentence: Grass-fed is a healthier option than corn fed beef because it has a high

nutritional value.

Commented [RZ1]: There are several different ways to grab the attention of your reader: 1. A definition. 2. A quotation or paraphrase. 3. A little known or striking fact. 4. A statement of opinion 5. An interesting incident or anecdote related to your subject 6. An explanation of why the topic is worth writing/reading about 7. A question that will be answered by your thesis, or will catch the reader’s attention and lead toward your thesis.

Commented [RZ2]: Red = Your Position Blue = Subtopic 1 Purple = Subtopic 2 Green = Subtopic 3 If your thesis statement was perfect on your Thesis Statement and Gathering Resources worksheet; USE THE SAME ONE! If you were given any feedback directed in making changes, please make sure you make the suggested adjustments.

Commented [RZ3]: Each topic sentence should state your position plus the subtopic for that paragraph. This will ensure a persuasive tone throughout.

Detail A: The changing of the feeding practices by factory farms that produce beef in the United

States may have been worse than feeding the cow’s junk food and destroying the nutritional

content of the beef. Robinson (2011) discussed how many factory farms feed the cattle things

like soy or corn which completely transform the meat from healthy to an absolute health hazard.

To the contrast, grass-fed beef is beneficial to one’s health as the cows are raised in a natural

way.

Detail B: According to Robinson (2011), much of the research is clear in showing that there is a

much higher calories content and hazardous types of fats from corn-fed beef that are responsible

for many of the fatal cardiovascular diseases. Another key concern regarding the nutritional

value has to do with a significantly lower amount of nourishing components such as vitamins,

anti-oxidants, and good fats (Robinson, 2011).

Detail C: Grass-fed actually has a high nutritional content but gets a bad name from grain-fed

beef.

Transitional Sentence: Another benefit that makes grass fed beef nutritionally superior is that

contains Omega 3s.

Support for Thesis 2

Topic Sentence: Grass fed beef a better choice over corn fed beef because Omega 3 fatty acids

are very important to many functions of the body.

Detail A: Grogan (2012) argues that grass fed beef may have several heart-healthy benefits that

corn fed beef does not. The difference lies in the diet of the cattle, as there are major differences

in the nutrients between the two (Grogan, 2012). Grass fed beef is usually much lower in the

total fat content, contains more heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants, and vitamins

(Grogan, 2012).

Detail B: Grass fed beef can have from two to five times more Omega 3 fatty acids than corn or grain

fed beef (Robinson, 2011). The reasoning behind the push for a diet rich with omega-3 fatty

acids is that they are responsible for blood flow (Robinson, 2011).

Commented [RZ4]: An example of a beginning of a sentence citation for a paraphrased statement.

Commented [RZ5]: Please note that to earn full points for how you present your argument on the first draft rubric, you’ll need to paraphrase your evidence as opposed to quoting. If you do directly quote from a source; it must be under 40 words, surrounded by quotation marks, and the in-text citation is (Author’s Last Name(s), Year, p. #). EX: “Word for word excerpt taken from source” (Jackson, Adams & Smith, 2015, p. 27).

Commented [RZ6]: An example of an end of a sentence in-text citation for a paraphrased statement.

Commented [RZ7]: End punctuation should only go after the in-text citation, not before.

Commented [RZ8]: When writing a transition sentence you will want to refer to the current subtopic of that paragraph and the subtopic you will be addressing next. Each transitional sentence should follow this format.

Detail C: Consequently, corn or grain fed beef is much higher in Omega-6 fatty acids, which are

responsible for blood clotting.

Transitional Sentence: Eating more grass fed beef can bring one’s body towards the equilibrium

it needs of a balance between the two while also providing the body with conjugated linoleic acid.

Support for Thesis 3

Topic Sentence: Grass fed beef diets are nutritionally better than corn fed beef diets because

contains the health benefits of conjugated linoleic acid (CLA).

Detail A: Grass fed beef has shown to have the capability to dramatically enrich one’s diet with

conjugated linoleic acid (Daley, Abbott, Doyle, Nader, & Larson, 2010). CLA has been linked to

early trials against cancer and other cardiovascular diseases (Robinson, 2011). Robinson (2011)

also discussed how rats that ingested tiny amounts of CLA were able to shrink mammary tumors.

Detail B: Another study noted by Onakpoya, Posadzki, Watson, Davies and Ernst (2012), found

that a diet rich in CLA promoted long-term weight loss lowering the risk of other weight related

diseases such as obesity.

Detail C: Preliminary evidence shows that it could also fight breast cancer, help prevent clogged

arteries, lower cholesterol, and lower the risks of a heart attack (Robinson, 2011).

Transitional Sentence: There are many benefits to eating grass-fed beef, rather than corn fed beef,

which could improve one’s overall health.

Conclusion

Paraphrase thesis statement (restated in different words): Grass fed beef has many benefits that

corn and grain fed lack including less total fat, more Omega 3 fatty acids, and disease reducing

Commented [RZ9]: In the last transitional sentence, you can “sum up” the overall tone/intent of your argument. In this case, the benefits of grass-fed beef to a person’s overall health.

CLA

Summarize main points: If people were to switch to grass fed and organic meats it would reap

great benefits for American society by making people healthier. Grass fed beef also may show to

fight many of the diseases that impact the lives of so many in today’s society. Grass-fed beef

could become the new chicken.

Final remarks: Take up a grass fed beef diet now; it can lead to longevity in order to help fulfill

one’s life goals.

Commented [RZ10]: Re-state your thesis with all 3 subtopic in different words as the first sentence to your conclusion.

Commented [RZ11]: Summarizing your main points should be 2-3 sentences.

Commented [RZ12]: Be sure this final remark within the essay is a call to action statement: http://www.essaywritingcompany.com/How-to-write-a-good-call- to-action-statement.html

http://www.essaywritingcompany.com/How-to-write-a-good-call-to-action-statement.html

References

In the space below, list all resources cited in your essay in alphabetical order by author’s last

name, double spaced, and with a hanging indent. Any source with “Retrieved from url (web

address); the url will need to be activated.

Daley, C. A., Abbott, A., Doyle, P. S., Nader, G. A., & Larson, S. (2010). A review of fatty acid

profiles and antioxidant content in grass-fed and grain-fed beef. Nutrition Journal, 910-

21. doi:10.1186/1475-2891

Grogan, M. (2012). Heart Disease. Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/grass-fed-

beef/AN02053

Onakpoya, I., Posadzki, P., Watson, L., Davies, L., & Ernst, E. (2012). The efficacy of long-term

conjugated linoleic acid (CLA) supplementation on body composition in overweight and

obese individuals: A systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized clinical trials.

European Journal Of Nutrition, 51(2), 127-134. doi:10.1007/s00394-011-0253-9

Robinson, J. (2011). Pasture Perfect. Vashon Island Publishing: Vashon, Washington.

An APA Reference citation for a peer-reviewed journal article looks like this:

Krassel, K. F., & Heinesen, E. (2014). Class-size effects in secondary school. Education

Economics, 22(4), 412-426. doi:10.1080/09645292.2014.902428

Please see the information below, it is color-coded to align to the citation above:

1. An APA citation begins with the author(s) last name(s), followed by their first and middle name initials.

2. Then the publication year is in parenthesis.

Commented [RZ13]: To set hanging indents> 1. Select area to have hanging indents (entire reference list). 2. Right click 3. Select “paragraph” from the drop down menu 4. Under “Indentation and Special,” Select “Hanging”

Commented [RZ14]: Remember, you need 3 peer reviewed journal articles as your sources. Websites like .com are not considered scholarly sources. Please make sure any sources have been published within the last 10 years. ANY SOURCE LISTED ON A REFERENCE PAGE MUST HAVE AN IN- TEXT CITATION IN YOUR ESSAY.

Commented [RZ15]: This is the APA formatting for a book; again, you should only be using peer-reviewed journal articles.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/grass-fed-beef/AN02053

3. Next is the article title. Please note that only the first word of the article title begins with a capital letter. Otherwise, only the first letter after a colon, proper nouns, initials, or

acronyms.

4. Then the name of the journal is placed after the article title followed by the volume number, these are both in italics.

5. The issue number is in parenthesis. 6. Then the page numbers are placed after the issue number. 7. Sometimes there is a doi number, if there is not, you should copy and paste the permalink

(Retrieved from activated url).