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Sociology 101- 910
April 26, 2017
Word Count – 1900
Sociological Autobiography
It was an early Sunday morning during the month of February 17 in the 80s. I was born and identified as a baby girl (female) from that moment my parents used my gender and personal traits that society uses to label someone as male or female to make the decisions about how I was going to be raised, how I should be dressed, how my hair will be styled being an African American and what is expected of me and my gender role. My parents knew from experience in our society how to treat me and how I should behave based on our society’s standards.
The most fundamental part of my life was spent in Lagos, Nigeria with my parents and four siblings. Lagos is the largest city in Nigeria and it is one of the most populous urban centers. My parents are from different ethnicities but identify with same religion. My mother is Yoruba from Lagos-State and my father is Itsekiri from the Niger-Delta region of Nigeria because I am Inter-Tribal I grew up speaking three languages including English. I was raised in a Christian home and was always around Christian people. We usually had our morning devotion every day at six-thirty and on Sundays we as a family would attend the eleven o’clock service and we hardly missed a service. My family has been a huge impact on my life and the way I look at life. They have taught me many values of life that will help me get through tough times, and even good times. They helped teach me what values and ideas, within society regarding what is desirable in life and beliefs. They were instrumental in teaching me how to interact with people and how to exist as a member in society. Along with teaching me manners and general beliefs which is very important in African culture. They also taught me about norms, behavioral expectations which uses values to guide appropriate behavior in different situations. For example, I know better not to interrupt while my elders are speaking, look at them in the eyes or even make any gestures with my body. I would be punished with negative sanctions because it’s a sign of disrespect. Family reputation is an integral part of the Nigerian culture, where the reputation of one family member is a symbol of the entire family’s reputation. For this reason, most families in Nigeria are very careful in their children’s upbringing, as they will be judged based on the performance of their children in the society. My father believed in integrity and advised us to always do the right thing especially when no one is watching. That has always been my motto and I will pass the same culture down to my children.
According to The Real World by Kerry Ferris & Jill Stein, I’m from a middle-class household because my parents income combined was around $70.000 per year. My siblings and I attended public elementary and high schools. We were all in the same age group which made our childhood fun. In the 80s a way of socializing in Nigeria was playing Ten-Ten with my peer groups, in playing this game girls stand facing each other and clap their hands as they move their legs to a rhythm. The goal is to ensure that she does not raise the same leg directly facing the other girl, which means it is no problem for a girl to raise a left leg when the other girl raises the right leg. The moment a girl raises the wrong leg, the other girl scores a point. Another game was Boju-Boju; this is the Nigerian version of hide and seek. It is played by both male and female unlike Ten-Ten which is Gender specific. Every other person goes into hiding and the person goes into hiding and the other person seeking will start by singing the song “boju boju o…” and after singing he starts to chase and anyone he/she catches will be the next to seek. My favorite game was Who Is In The Garden; Here the children make a big circle, starting with singing form a big circle. After that, the anchor then stays in the middle and runs in circle singing, “Who is in the garden a little boy/girl (depending on the sex of the child) can I come and see him/her, then everybody then responds “No, No, No” then the anchor picks someone else and says, “follow me”. This cycle is repeated until the last person remains, then others go in hiding while the last person goes searching for them.
My primary goal is to excel in life and make my parents proud. I have always used the self-fulfilling prophecy which can be defined as when a significant figure in our life expresses certain expectations for us. We are likely to fulfill those expectations. Since I wasn’t born with an ascribed status I needed to be hardworking to attain an achieved status. For example, as a student I was responsible for having good grades as well as completing my assignments in a timely and orderly manner. Maintaining these statuses and roles helped shape me into the person I am today. While employing C. Wright Mills idea that sociology describes the intersection between history and biography, I will reflect on some of the challenges that I have faced in my biographical background that are connected to social institutions and in the large part to the social culture located in history.
After I graduated from high school in search of greener pastures for myself and family I decided to relocate to the U.S to further my education. As a child, I always thought the U.S was next to heaven because of how the media portrayed the American Dream. Wealth and fame is flaunted on television, in the news, magazines and social media. Today, many television shows like “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and “The Real Housewives” flaunt wealth in such a way that people in other countries are misled and left to believe that these are the normal lifestyles of a typical American, which attracts those from third world countries to the U.S. The truth is that what we see in the media is the lifestyle of the rich and famous and not that of the average American. I only realized that after I became an illegal immigrant who was trying to survive in the U.S. That’s when my perception of the American Dream crashed before my eyes and I have always wondered why the media raise foreigners hopes, but what do I know!
When I arrived in Baltimore, Maryland, life didn’t turn out as smooth as I expected it. First, I experienced culture shock because I was not mentally ready for the cultural change I was exposed to in the beginning but as time went by I got used to the custom and became a part of it. I had to learn how to communicate with people by speaking clearly and slowly because of my accent. I adjusted to the time difference between the U.S and Nigeria (Nigeria is 6 hours ahead), I have gotten used to calculating distance by miles and not kilometers, temperatures by Fahrenheit not Celsius, weight by pounds not kilograms. I have also gotten used to the cold weather because it is very hot back home. I noticed that the American culture and way of socialization is completely different from that of Nigeria. For example, the common way of socializing is being a part of a virtual community which is a social group whose interactions are mediated through information technologies, particularly the internet. I know the virtual community makes people socialize less in real life and the replacement of real life with virtual is not healthy for humans but since that’s the norm in America I suspended ethnocentrism and was forced to join a few social groups. I had the privilege to follow some people with charismatic qualities such as Beyonce, Oprah Winfrey, Pastor Joel Osteen and others. Food was another challenge I had, I could not eat American food because I was used to spicy food, I had to stick to my Nigerian food. I observed the lifestyle of children in America, underage children come home late at night unlike in Nigeria where children are indoors before sunset. Typically, societal norms are not expressed in parents and children relationships in America because children do not respect their parents and in turn, parents are forced to throw out their children for a certain period. Whenever I see an American child disrespecting their parents, I usually ignore and employ cultural relativity even though the Nigerian in me might be furious.
Another challenge I faced was racism because of my accent. Anytime I speak my local dialect in public places I get laughed at or people give me the “can’t you speak English look.” That made me very lonely and I found it difficult to make friends with Americans for fear of being laughed at or misunderstood. For example, I went to a salon in Baltimore with a Nigerian friend because I wanted to get a weave and sew-in but because I couldn’t communicate it properly according to conventional American English. I told the stylist that I wanted to get a “weavon and fix my hair.” Subconsciously that’s how I communicated with hair stylists in Nigeria, so I didn’t see anything wrong with what I said. The stylist was African American. She laughed and said “huh...what are you trying to get?” After I repeated myself twice, I felt embarrassed to repeat it again. My friend tried to communicate to the stylist through a piece of paper but I suggested that it wasn’t necessary because although we have an accent, we speak English. So, all the stylist needed to do was to be patient and listen carefully. Frustrated, we decided to leave the salon.
In Sociological terms, I was going through negotiation phase as the differences between my old culture and the new culture became apparent, therefore causing anxiety and low adaptability level for the new culture. I always felt left out because I lacked the superior communication, cultural and socialization skills required for blending into a new culture. I missed my family and friends back in Nigeria because we believed in strong family ties and togetherness, in both good and bad times. I wished that I could go back to the culture I had been used to all my life but I was too embarrassed to go back because I didn’t not want to disappoint my parents. So, I moved into the sociological phase of adjustment and started making new friends, which was later followed by the mastery phase. I have been going through the mastery phase but the sociological structure of America still hinders me from referring to it as home. Living in America for seven years has provided me with different mental and physical sociological changes. I have accepted a different social structure but this does not mean that I am not aware of my original social structure. As per my biography I do not have a clear realization of the real me because my past and present personality depends on the social culture I have built in my thirty-two years of existence.
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