Eng Comp 102 Essays

Evaluation Essay by Aakanksha Bhargava

Submission date: 11-Oct-2019 09:48PM (UTC-0400) Submission ID: 1191179740 File name: w_moodle_temp_turnitintool_850543664.Paper2-EvaluationEssay.docx (21.05K) Word count: 825 Character count: 4235

Heading/Head Format: Nice!

Titles of PapersHook readers

Vary sentence starts Introductions Overview

Quotation Length

Quoting: Review how-to

Citation Needed

Thesis Missing

FIRST-PERSON USE TS for Analysis

PapersFragments

1 WC Paragraph Structure

2 Frag.

3

Verb tense: discussing works

4

Transitions

Topic Sentences

Research: Use Throughout

Quotations Add Credibility

Syntax Error(s)

Citations: Study the how- tos

Subheadings: don't need Progression of Thought Needed

Dropped Quote

Quotes at end of paras.

Noun-Pronoun Agr.

Edit sentence clarity Cit. Style Error

Titles of Works

Conclusions

WC page: Check for precision

5% SIMILARITY INDEX

3% INTERNET SOURCES

0% PUBLICATIONS

5% STUDENT PAPERS

1 2% 2 1% 3 1% 4 1%

Exclude quotes Off

Exclude bibliography On

Exclude matches < 3 words

Evaluation Essay ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

www.npg.org.uk Internet Source

romantic-circles.org Internet Source

Submitted to Dougherty High School Student Paper

Submitted to Straighterline Student Paper

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FINAL GRADE

1/1 Evaluation Essay GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

Hi Aakanksha: Your paper reflects an earnest effort. However, the content reflects significant difficulties with proper grammar, usage, syntax, sentence structure, and punctuation, as well as presenting clear analytical points.

For more feedback about both strengths and weaknesses in your work, please review my in-text comments, keeping in mind that I marked only a few areas for demonstration.

All the best to you,

Maria S.

PAGE 1

Heading/Head Format: Nice! | Format Nice job with the MLA-style heading and running head!

Titles of Papers | Support The title should do 3 things: indicate the topic, indicate the purpose, and grab the reader's attn..

Hook readers | Support Grab the audience's attention with an interesting hook and give important information about the topic in a way that logically leads to your claim.

Vary sentence starts | Language

Vary sentence beginnings and structures. Do you hear the choppy repetition here?

Introductions Overview | Support Your introduction could do better to meet criteria of a strong intro. for a college paper. Check out this material as a review for future use: http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/introductions/

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Quotation Length | Research This quotation is much too long for a short assignment. Never allow a quotation to dominate a page, paragraph, or writing assignment. They are meant only to support our writing and thinking.

Quoting: Review how-to | Research

Review here how to format and other handle quotations: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_formatting_quotations.html

Citation Needed | Research Cite Source: Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles: http://www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html

Thesis Missing | Thesis The introduction does not offer an identifiable thesis statement, as instructed in the directions. Helpful link to thesis statements: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/545/01/

FIRST-PERSON USE | Language First-person use: Only use first person if permitted and if using personal experience as support. One trap using first is getting off topic, which is happening here. What is the main idea relevant to the items stated in the thesis?

TS for Analysis Papers | Support

In an analysis paper, the topic sentence of each body paragraph should reflect your analytical angle of the literary element the para.is examining.

Fragments | Grammar This is a sentence fragment because there is no main clause; this one cannot stand on its own. Check out this link for a review: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/620/1/

Comment 1 | Support

Why not? Explain yourself when making statements.

WC | Language Word choice error: Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very difficult to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too hard to come up with a fancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a handy tool when you're trying to find a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one you're looking up. However, it can often introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it has exactly the same meaning. Additional Comment

much misery

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Paragraph Structure | Organization Paragraph structure in the body of a paper goes like this: topic sentence + concrete support + summary sentence. Here is a helpful link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/606/01/

Comment 2 | Language

What can fail? What does this refer to?

Frag. | Punctuation Fragment: A sentence fragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such fragments become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. The most common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a noun) for a main verb, as in the following sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare from dusk to dawn."

Comment 3 | Language

Review "than" vs. "then."

Verb tense: discussing works | Grammar

Use the present tense when writing about a published work.

Comment 4 | Support

Again, what do you mean here?

PAGE 2

Transitions | Organization Transitional sentences work well to shift to move the reader forward smoothly and logically. Sometimes you can also use transitional expressions to alert the reader. See this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/574/01/

Topic Sentences | Support Every paragraph should start with a topic sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph. It helps to orient the reader and the writer. Check out this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/29/

Research: Use Throughout | Research When called to use research, you want to integrate it throughout a paper. This paragraph does not document any source material. Explicit source use adds depth and credibility to ideas and statements. Check out this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/2/9/

Quotations Add Credibility | Support An occasional quotation from an expert adds depth and credibility to a paper. Quoting also further demonstrates your skills in handling source material. Here is a helpful link for review:

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https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/563/01/

Syntax Error(s) | Language The syntax of this sentence contains a couple of errors. You might try reading aloud while editing to help hear awkward wording.

Citations: Study the how-tos | Research

Make the time to review how and where to cite source material. Here is one link to consult and study: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_formatting_and_style_guide.html

Subheadings: don't need | Format

In short papers, you do not need subheadings.

Progression of Thought Needed | Organization Revise writing for global progression of thought, moving from one point to a new. Check out this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/2/

Dropped Quote | Format Use a signal phrase to open or close a quotation, thereby attributing the quote to the source and avoiding "dropped" quotes. Link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/577/01/

Quotes at end of paras. | Organization

Avoid ending body paragraphs with quotes. Integrate them higher and within your own writing and explanation.

Noun-Pronoun Agr. | Grammar Pronoun-noun agreement needs attention. Link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/owlprint/595/

PAGE 3

Edit sentence clarity | Language

Edit for clearer, stronger sentence structure. Review the 4 sentence types.

Cit. Style Error | Research Citation style error: Consult MLA for correct in-text citations.

Titles of Works | Format Titles of works require certain formatting, such as Italics in the case of a magazine title. Always consult the style guide or an English handbook. Here is one helpful link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/45/

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Conclusions | Support Conclusion: Avoid bringing in new support or points in the conclusion. You might move this and its connected material into a body paragraph. Here is a link about conclusions: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/2/60/

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WC page: Check for precision | Format

Check these entries against the MLA guide. Errors are exist and it needs to be precise.

RUBRIC: ENG 102 MH V3 EVALUATION_DRAFT

THESIS

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

SUPPORT

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

Thesis & Focus: Thesis, central idea, audience, purpose, digressions

Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of audience and purpose. Readers cannot discern the essay’s central idea.

Thesis was attempted but unclear and/or inconsistently addressed. Reveals limited awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea either lacking or inconsistently addressed.

Thesis is identifiable, but perhaps too narrow, too broad, or otherwise problematic. Awareness of audience may be adequate but inconsistent. Central idea is perhaps too general and supported by irrelevant examples.

Thesis is established and is consistently addressed throughout most of the paper. Awareness of audience is sufficient. Central idea is clear and maintained in most of the essay.

Thesis is clearly established and maintained throughout the entire paper. Paper demonstrates a sophisticated awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea/focus maintained throughout.

Average

Support & Development: Thesis support, thesis development, Evaluation of chosen critique, Use of second critique, use of examples, logic, and reason

No support of thesis with relevant facts, examples, reasons, or evidence. No topic development. Student fails to evaluate most or all of the chosen critique. Topic development is flawed or non-existent.

Support is minimal, logically flawed, and/or inaccurate. Student may fail in some ways to evaluate the critic/author, the thesis, and the support of the chosen critique. A second critique may be altogether missing from the Evaluation. Topic development very weak.

More support is needed. Some examples may be vague. Student evaluates the critic/author, the thesis, and the support of the chosen critique although evaluation may be flawed. A second critique is used, perhaps ineffectively, to inform the Evaluation. Some irrelevant support may be present, but most evidence supports thesis.

Support is sufficient but perhaps flawed in some way. Student clearly evaluates the critic/author, the thesis, and the support of the chosen critique. A second critique is used somewhat effectively to inform the Evaluation. Most assertions are supposed with examples from the chosen critique and the novel. Thesis is supported and developed in most paragraphs.

Essay completely supports the thesis with logical arrangement of evidence. Student clearly and effectively evaluates the critic/author, the thesis, and the support of the chosen critique. A second critique is effectively used to inform the Evaluation. All assertions are supported with examples from the chosen critique and the novel.

ORGANIZATION

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

LANGUAGE

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

Average

Coherence & Organization: Introduction, conclusion, body paragraphs, transitions, topic sentences

No clear introduction, body, or conclusion. Little-to-no transitions. Demonstrates little-to-no understanding of organization. Many sentences within paragraphs do not relate to each other and/or the paragraph’s topic. May contain no discernible topic sentences.

Introduction, body, and conclusion attempted but problematic. Few transitions. Perhaps numerous digressions. Mostly missing or problematic topic sentences. Demonstrates little understanding of organization.

Identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion; yet one significant weakness is present: undeveloped introduction, undeveloped conclusion, illogical paragraph order. Adequate transitions, perhaps some digressions. Some paragraphs may lack clear topic sentences. Demonstrates basic understanding of organization.

Clear introduction, body, and conclusion although improvements could be made. Most paragraphs have clear topic sentences. Essay establishes a clear plan of development. Transitions are clear throughout most of the paper. Demonstrates good understanding of organization.

Clear and effective introduction, body, and conclusion: Introduction establishes the essay’s main idea, and conclusion summarizes thesis and main ideas without merely copying and pasting from the introduction. Clear and effective transitions are present throughout the paper. Demonstrates excellent understanding of organization.

Inadequate

Language & Style: Word choice, repetition, redundancy, awkwardness, article misuse, wrong word form (their/there, etc.), typos/misspellings, vocabulary

May contain more than 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain more than 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Fails to demonstrate competent language use; sentences and vocabulary are inappropriate, facile, and/or incoherent.

May contain 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Contains repetitive, incorrect, and/or insufficient sentence structure and/or limited vocabulary.

May contain 4 – 5 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates competency with language use but sentence constructions and vocabulary may be limited or repetitive.

May contain 2 – 3 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates sufficient knowledge and skill with varied sentence construction and vocabulary. Unnecessary repetition is minor.

May contain 1 error in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain

GRAMMAR

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

PUNCTUATION

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

FORMAT

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

1 error in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates sophisticated knowledge and skill with varied and complex sentence construction and vocabulary. Little- to-no unnecessary repetition.

Inadequate

Grammar: Fragments, subject-verb agreement, verb tense errors, verb form errors, run-ons, pronoun agreement

Contains more than 5 different grammar errors. The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different grammar errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different grammar errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 1 grammar error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

Contains either no grammar errors, or 1 – 2 different errors with no repetition.

Below Average

Punctuation & Capitalization: Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization errors, semicolon errors, colon errors

Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2 different errors with no repetition.

Average

Format: heading, title, margins, spacing, length, underlined thesis, other assignment-specific required elements *Length for Evaluation is 750 words minimum

Doesn’t meet formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing four or more elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

Doesn’t meet most formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing three elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

RESEARCH

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

Meets some formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing two elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements (an essay that does not meet length minimum will score no higher than 3 in this category)

Meets most formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing one element (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length meets minimum requirements of 750 words.

Meets all requirements. Formatting is appropriate in terms of heading, title, margins, spacing, underlining thesis. Length meets minimum requirements of 750 words.

Below Average

Source minimums, incorporation of sources (including use of signal phrases), use of research to argue topic, MLA in-text quote formatting, Works Cited list This paper requires at least two critiques in addition to the novel (three total sources).

Source minimum requirements are not met. Research is insufficient, irrelevant, or inadequate. Sources are not incorporated at all, or are done very poorly. Five or more errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. Works Cited page either omitted or formatted very poorly. It may be difficult or impossible to discern which sources are in the list.

Source requirements may not be met (Note: If source minimum is not met, the essay will score no higher than 2 in this category). Research is superficial and/or sources are incorporated poorly. No more than four different errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, and some sources may be omitted from the list.

Source requirements (two critiques plus novel) are met. Research may be superficial, sources may be poorly incorporated. No more than three different errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, but all sources are listed.

Source requirements (two critiques plus novel) are met. Fairly thorough research with mostly effective use of sources. No more than two different errors in documenting sources using MLA style. These identical two errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly listed.

Source requirements (two critiques plus novel) are met. Thoroughly researches the topic, uses sources effectively. No more than one different error in documenting sources using MLA style. This identical error may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly listed.