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Sending Positive Written Messages Outside Your Organization

Most of the workplace messages you write will probably be positive. That is, they will deal with routine matters that require straightforward answers using the direct method. As communication channels continue to evolve, you will be using both electronic and paper-based channels to send positive, routine messages. Chapter 5 discussed electronic messages and memos dealing primarily with internal commu- nication. This chapter focuses on positive external messages. The principal channel for external messages is business letters.

Understanding the Power of Business Letters Letters are a primary channel of communication for delivering messages outside an organization. Positive, straightforward letters help organizations conduct everyday business and convey goodwill to outsiders. Such letters go to suppli- ers, government agencies, other businesses, and, most important, customers. The letters to customers receive a high priority because these messages encourage product feedback, project a favorable image of the organization, and promote future business.

Even with the new media available today, a letter remains one of the most pow- erful and effective ways to get your message across. Although e-mail is incredibly successful for both internal and external communication, many important messages

Positive Messages

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The principal channel for delivering messages outside an organization is business letters.

still call for letters. Business letters are necessary when (a) a permanent record is required; (b) confidentiality is paramount; (c) formality and sensitivity are essential; and (d) a persuasive, well-considered presentation is important.

Business Letters Produce a Permanent Record. Many business transactions require a permanent record. Business letters fulfill this function. For example, when a company enters into an agreement with another company, busi- ness letters introduce the agreement and record decisions and points of understand- ing. Although telephone conversations and e-mail messages may be exchanged, important details are generally recorded in business letters that are kept in company files. Business letters deliver contracts, explain terms, exchange ideas, negotiate agreements, answer vendor questions, and maintain customer relations. Business letters are important for any business transaction that requires a permanent written record.

Business Letters Can Be Confidential. Carefree use of e-mail was once a sign of sophistication. Today, however, communicators know how danger- ous it is to entrust confidential and sensitive information to digital channels. A writer in The New York Times recognized the unique value of letters when he said, “Despite the sneering term snail mail, plain old letters are the form of long-distance communication least likely to be intercepted, misdirected, forwarded, retrieved, or otherwise inspected by someone you didn’t have in mind.”1

Business Letters Convey Formality and Sensitivity. Business letters presented on company stationery carry a sense of formality and importance not possible with e-mail. They look important. They carry a nonverbal message saying the writer considered the message to be so significant and the receiver so prestigious that the writer cared enough to write a real message. Business letters deliver more information than e-mail because they are written on stationery that usually is printed with company information such as logos, addresses, titles, and contact details.

Business Letters Deliver Persuasive, Well-Considered Messages. When a business communicator must be persuasive and can’t do it in person, a business letter is more effective than other communication channels. Letters

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When the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) sends letters emblazoned with the agency’s official

insignia and addressed “Dear Taxpayer,” people get nervous. One IRS notice issued to millions

of Americans, however, delivered positive news: “We are pleased to inform you that the United

States Congress passed the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008, which provides for economic stimulus payments to be made to over 130 million American

households.” The body of the letter instructed qualifying taxpayers to file an annual tax return to receive the one-time cash payout. Why does

the IRS use letters in today’s digital age?

Business letters are important for messages that require a permanent record, confi dentiality, formality, sensitivity, and a well- considered presentation.

OFFICE INSIDER

can persuade people to change their actions, adopt new beliefs, make donations, contribute their time, and try new products. Direct-mail letters remain a powerful tool to promote services and products, boost online and retail traffic, and solicit contributions. Business letters represent deliberate communication. They give you a chance to think through what you want to say, organize your thoughts, and write a well-considered argument. You will learn more about writing persuasive and market- ing messages in Chapter 8.

Direct Requests for Information or Action

The majority of your business letters will involve routine messages organized directly. Before you write any letter, though, consider its costs in terms of your time and workload. Whenever possible, don’t write! Instead of asking for information, could you find it yourself? Would a telephone call, e-mail message, instant message, or brief visit to a coworker solve the problem quickly? If not, use the direct pattern to present your request efficiently.

Many business messages are written to request information or action. Although the specific subjects of inquiries may differ, the similarity of purpose in routine requests enables writers to use the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for an Information or Action Request Ask the most important question first or express a polite

command. Explain the request logically and courteously. Ask other questions if

necessary. Request a specific action with an end date, if appropriate, and

show appreciation.

Open Your Request Directly The most emphatic positions in a letter are the opening and closing. Readers tend to look at them first. The writer, then, should capitalize on this tendency by putting the most significant statement first. The first sentence of an information request is usually a question or a polite command. It should not be an explanation or justifica- tion, unless resistance to the request is expected. When the information requested is likely to be forthcoming, immediately tell the reader what you want. This saves the reader’s time and may ensure that the message is read. A busy executive who skims the mail, quickly reading subject lines and first sentences only, may grasp your request rapidly and act on it. A request that follows a lengthy explanation, on the other hand, may never be found.

A letter inquiring about hotel accommodations, shown in Figure 6.1, begins immediately with the most important idea: Can the hotel provide meeting rooms and accommodations for 250 people? Instead of opening with an explanation of who the writer is or how the writer happens to be writing this letter, the letter begins more directly.

If several questions must be asked, you have two choices. You can ask the most important question first, as shown in Figure 6.1. An alternate opening begins with a summary statement, such as Will you please answer the following questions about providing meeting rooms and accommodations for 250 people from March 20 through March 24. Notice that the summarizing statement sounds like a question but has no question mark. That is because it is really a command disguised as a ques- tion. Rather than bluntly demanding information (Answer the following questions), we often prefer to soften commands by posing them as questions. Such statements,

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When the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) sends letters emblazoned with the agency’s official

insignia and addressed “Dear Taxpayer,” people get nervous. One IRS notice issued to millions

of Americans, however, delivered positive news: “We are pleased to inform you that the United

States Congress passed the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008, which provides for economic stimulus payments to be made to over 130 million American

households.” The body of the letter instructed qualifying taxpayers to file an annual tax return to receive the one-time cash payout. Why does

the IRS use letters in today’s digital age?

Readers fi nd the openings and closings of letters most interesting and often read them fi rst.

Begin an information request letter with the most important question or a summarizing statement.

Because business letters are costly, avoid writing them unless absolutely necessary.

called rhetorical questions, should not be punctuated as questions because they do not require answers.

Put Details in the Body The body of a letter that requests information should provide necessary details. Remember that the quality of the information obtained from a request letter depends on the clarity of the inquiry. If you analyze your needs, organize your ideas, and frame your request logically, you are likely to receive a meaningful answer that doesn’t require a follow-up message. Whenever possible, itemize the information to improve readability. Notice that the questions in Figure 6.1 are bulleted, and they are parallel. That is, they use the same balanced construction.

FIGURE 6.1

The body of a request letter may contain an explanation or a list of questions.

Close With an Action Request Use the final paragraph to ask for specific action, to set an end date if appropriate, and to express appreciation. As you learned in working with e-mail messages and memos, a request for action is most effective when an end date and reason for that date are supplied, as shown in Figure 6.1.

Ending a request letter with appreciation for the action taken is always appro- priate. However, don’t fall into a cliché trap, such as Thanking you in advance, I remain . . . or the familiar Thank you for your cooperation. Your appreciation will sound most sincere if you avoid mechanical, tired expressions.

Direct Claims

In business many things can go wrong—promised shipments are late, warranted goods fail, or service is disappointing. When you as a customer must write to iden- tify or correct a wrong, the letter is called a claim. Straightforward claims are those to which you expect the receiver to agree readily. Even these claims, however, often require a letter. While your first action may be a telephone call or an e-mail mes- sage submitting your claim, you may not get the results you seek. Written claims are often taken more seriously, and they also establish a record of what happened. Claims that require persuasion are presented in Chapter 8. In this chapter you will learn to apply the following writing plan for a straightforward claim that uses a direct approach.

Writing Plan for a Direct Claim Describe clearly the desired action. Explain the nature of the claim, tell why the claim is justified, and

provide details regarding the action requested. End pleasantly with a goodwill statement and include an end date

and action request, if appropriate.

Open Your Claim With a Clear Statement of What You Want If you have a legitimate claim, you can expect a positive response from a company. Smart businesses today want to hear from their customers. They know that retain- ing a customer is far less costly than recruiting a new customer. That is why you should open a claim letter with a clear statement of the problem or with the action you want the receiver to take. You might expect a replacement, a refund, a new order, credit to your account, correction of a billing error, free repairs, free inspec- tion, or cancellation of an order.

When the remedy is obvious, state it immediately (Please send us 24 Sanyo digi- tal travel alarm clocks to replace the Sanyo analog travel alarm clocks sent in error with our order shipped January 8). When the remedy is less obvious, you might ask for a change in policy or procedure or simply for an explanation (Because three of our employees with confirmed reservations were refused rooms September 16 in your hotel, would you please clarify your policy regarding reservations and late arrivals).

Explain and Justify Your Claim in the Body In the body of a claim letter, explain the problem and justify your request. Provide the necessary details so that the difficulty can be corrected without further corre- spondence. Avoid becoming angry or trying to fix blame. Bear in mind that the person reading your letter is seldom responsible for the problem. Instead, state the facts logically, objectively, and unemotionally; let the reader decide on the causes.

The ending of a request letter should tell the reader what you want done and when.

Claim letters register complaints and usually seek correction of a wrong.

The direct strategy is best for simple claims that require no persuasion.

Providing details without getting angry improves the effectiveness of a claim letter.

Include copies of all pertinent documents such as invoices, sales slips, catalog descriptions, and repair records. (By the way, be sure to send copies and not your originals, which could be lost.) When service is involved, cite names of individuals spoken to and dates of calls. Assume that a company honestly wants to satisfy its customers—because most do. When an alternative remedy exists, spell it out (If you are unable to send 24 Sanyo digital travel alarm clocks immediately, please credit our account now and notify us when they become available).

Close Your Claim With a Specific Action Request End a claim letter with a courteous statement that promotes goodwill and sum- marizes your action request. If appropriate, include an end date. (We realize that mistakes in ordering and shipping sometimes occur. Because we have enjoyed your prompt service in the past, we hope that you will be able to send us the Sanyo digital travel alarm clocks by January 15.) Finally, in making claims, act promptly. Delaying claims makes them appear less important. Delayed claims are also more difficult to verify. By taking the time to put your claim in writing, you indicate your seriousness. A written claim starts a record of the problem, should later action be necessary. Be sure to keep a copy of your letter.

Put It All Together and Revise After completing your first draft, you are ready to revise as the last step in your writ- ing plan. Figure 6.2 shows a first draft of a hostile claim that vents the writer’s anger but accomplishes little else. Its tone is belligerent, and it assumes that the company intentionally mischarged the customer. Furthermore, it fails to tell the reader how to remedy the problem. The revision follows the three-step writing plan with a clear opening, body, and closing. Notice that the revision tempers the tone, describes the problem objectively, and provides facts and figures. Most important, it specifies exactly what the customer wants done. The letter in Figure 6.2 illustrates personal business style with the return address typed above the date. This style may be used when typing on paper without a printed letterhead.

Direct Replies

Often your messages will reply directly and favorably to requests for information or action. A customer wants information about a product. A supplier asks to arrange a meeting. Another business inquires about one of your procedures or about a former employee. In complying with such requests, you will want to apply the same direct pattern you used in making requests.

Writing Plan for Direct Replies Identify previous correspondence or refer to the main idea. Deliver the most important information first. Arrange information logically, explain and clarify it, provide addi-

tional information if appropriate, and build goodwill. End pleasantly.

A customer reply letter that starts with a subject line, as shown in Figure 6.3 on page 140, helps the reader recognize the topic immediately. Usually appearing one blank line below the salutation, the subject line refers in abbreviated form to previ- ous correspondence and/or summarizes a message (Subject: Your December 1 Letter Inquiring About Our Investigator 360 Program). It often omits articles (a, an, the), is not a complete sentence, and does not end with a period. Knowledgeable business communicators use a subject line to refer to earlier correspondence so that in the first sentence, the most emphatic spot in a letter, they are free to emphasize the main idea.

Written claims submitted promptly are taken more seriously than delayed ones.

Before responding to requests, gather facts, check fi gures, and seek approval if necessary.

Letters responding to requests may open with a subject line to identify the topic immediately.

FIGURE 6.2

Open Directly With Information the Reader Wants In the first sentence of a direct reply letter, deliver the information the reader wants. Avoid wordy, drawn-out openings (I have before me your letter of December 1, in which you request information about . . . ). More forceful and more efficient is an opener that answers the inquiry (Here is the information you wanted about . . .). When agreeing to a request for action, announce the good news promptly (Yes, I will be happy to speak to your business communication class about . . . ).

Arrange Your Information Logically and Make It Readable In the body of your reply, supply explanations and additional information. Because a letter written on company stationery is considered a legally binding contract, be

FIGURE 6.3

Announce the good news promptly.

sure to check facts and figures carefully. If a policy or procedure needs authoriza- tion, seek approval from a supervisor or executive before writing the letter.

When answering a group of questions or providing considerable data, arrange the information logically and make it readable by using lists, tables, headings, boldface, italics, or other graphic devices. When customers or prospective cus- tomers inquire about products or services, your response should do more than merely supply answers. Try to promote your organization and products. Often, companies have particular products and services they want to spotlight. Thus, when a customer writes about one product, provide helpful information that satisfies the inquiry, but consider using the opportunity to introduce another product as well. Be sure to present the promotional material with attention to the “you” view and to reader benefits (You can use our standardized tests to free you from time-consuming employment screening). You will learn more about special techniques for developing marketing and persuasive messages in Chapter 8.

In concluding, make sure you are cordial and personal. Refer to the information provided or to its use. (The enclosed list summarizes our recommendations. We wish you all the best in redesigning your Web site.) If further action is required, describe the procedure and help the reader with specifics (The Small Business Administration publishes a number of helpful booklets. Its Web address is . . .).

Close Pleasantly and Personally To avoid abruptness, include a pleasant closing remark that shows your willing- ness to help the reader. Provide extra information if appropriate. Tailor your remarks to fit this letter and this reader. Because everyone appreciates being rec- ognized as an individual, avoid form-letter closings such as If we may be of further assistance, . . . .

Adjustment Letters

Even the best-run and best-loved businesses occasionally receive claims or com- plaints from consumers. When a company receives a claim and decides to respond favorably, the letter is called an adjustment letter. In these messages, you have three goals:

To rectify the wrong, if one exists To regain the confidence of the customer To promote future business and goodwill

A positive adjustment letter represents good news to the reader. Therefore, use the direct strategy described in the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for Adjustment Letters (optional) Identify the previous correspondence

and refer to the main topic. Grant the request or announce the adjustment

immediately. Provide details about how you are complying with the

request. Try to regain the customer’s confidence. Apologize if appropriate, but don’t admit negligence.

End positively with a forward-looking thought; express confidence in future business relations. Include sales promotion, if appropriate. Avoid referring to unpleasantness.

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Reveal the Good News in the Opening Instead of beginning with a review of what went wrong, present the good news imme- diately. When Kimberly Patel responded to the claim of customer Yonkers Digital & Wireless about a missing shipment, her first draft, shown at the top of Figure 6.4, was angry. No wonder. Yonkers Digital apparently had provided the wrong shipping address, and the goods were returned. But once Kimberly and her company decided to send a second shipment and comply with the customer’s claim, she had to give up the anger and strive to retain the goodwill and the business of this customer. The improved version of her letter announces that a new shipment will arrive shortly.

If you decide to comply with a customer’s claim, let the receiver know immedi- ately. Don’t begin your letter with a negative statement (We are very sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your dishwasher). This approach reminds the reader of the problem and may rekindle the heated emotions or unhappy feelings experi- enced when the claim was written. Instead, focus on the good news. The following openings for various letters illustrate how to begin a message with good news.

You’re right! We agree that the warranty on your American Standard Model UC600 dishwasher should be extended for six months.

You will be receiving shortly a new slim Nokia cell phone to replace the one that shattered when dropped recently.

Please take your portable Admiral microwave oven to A-1 Appliance Service, 200 Orange Street, Pasadena, where it will be repaired at no cost to you.

The enclosed check for $325 demonstrates our desire to satisfy our customers and earn their confidence.

In announcing that you will make an adjustment, try to do so without a grudg- ing tone—even if you have reservations about whether the claim is legitimate. Once you decide to comply with the customer’s request, do so happily. Avoid halfhearted or reluctant responses (Although the American Standard dishwasher works well when used properly, we have decided to allow you to take yours to A-1 Appliance Service for repair at our expense).

Explain How You Are Complying in the Body In responding to claims, most organizations sincerely want to correct a wrong. They want to do more than just make the customer happy. They want to stand behind their products and services; they want to do what’s right.

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Airline troubles continue to mount as weary air travelers complain of lost luggage, long delays, canceled flights,

and soaring ticket prices. In one customer-service debacle, major U.S. carriers shut down 3,700 flights in a single month after failing to meet safety inspections

mandated by the Federal Aviation Administration. The grounded flights affected hundreds of thousands

of passengers, underscoring the airline industry’s last-place finish in a Consumer Satisfaction Index survey conducted by the University of Michigan.

What guidelines should airline companies follow when writing adjustment letters to disgruntled customers?

Readers want to learn the good news immediately.

Be enthusiastic, not grudging, when granting a claim.

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Airline troubles continue to mount as weary air travelers complain of lost luggage, long delays, canceled flights,

and soaring ticket prices. In one customer-service debacle, major U.S. carriers shut down 3,700 flights in a single month after failing to meet safety inspections

mandated by the Federal Aviation Administration. The grounded flights affected hundreds of thousands

of passengers, underscoring the airline industry’s last-place finish in a Consumer Satisfaction Index survey conducted by the University of Michigan.

What guidelines should airline companies follow when writing adjustment letters to disgruntled customers?

FIGURE 6.4

In the body of the letter, explain how you are complying with the claim. In all but the most routine claims, you should also seek to regain the confidence of the customer. You might reasonably expect that a customer who has experienced dif- ficulty with a product, with delivery, with billing, or with service has lost faith in your organization. Rebuilding that faith is important for future business.

How to rebuild lost confidence depends on the situation and the claim. If procedures need to be revised, explain what changes will be made. If a product has defective parts, tell how the product is being improved. If service is faulty, describe genuine efforts to improve it. Notice in Figure 6.4 on page 143 that the writer promises to investigate shipping procedures to see whether improvements might prevent future mishaps.

Sometimes the problem is not with the product but with the way it is being used. In other instances customers misunderstand warranties or inadvertently cause delivery and billing mix-ups by supplying incorrect information. Remember that rational and sincere explanations will do much to regain the confidence of unhappy customers.

In your explanation avoid emphasizing negative words such as trouble, regret, misunderstanding, fault, defective, error, inconvenience, and unfortunately. Keep your message positive and upbeat.

Decide Whether to Apologize Whether to apologize is a debatable issue. Some writing experts argue that apolo- gies remind customers of their complaints and are therefore negative. These writers avoid apologies; instead they concentrate on how they are satisfying the customer. Real letters that respond to customers’ claims, however, often include apologies.2 If you feel that your company is at fault and that an apology is an appropriate good- will gesture, by all means include it. Be careful, though, not to admit negligence.

Show Confidence and Helpfulness in the Closing End positively by expressing confidence that the problem has been resolved and that continued business relations will result. You might mention the product in a favorable light, suggest a new product, express your appreciation for the customer’s business, or anticipate future business. It is often appropriate to refer to the desire to be of service and to satisfy customers. Notice how the following closings illustrate a positive, confident tone.

You were most helpful in informing us of this situation and permitting us to correct it. We appreciate your thoughtfulness in writing to us.

Thanks for writing. Your satisfaction is important to us. We hope that this refund check convinces you that service to our customers is our No. 1 priority. Our goals are to earn your confidence and continue to merit that confidence with quality products and excellent service.

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Your Inspiron 1420 HD widescreen laptop will come in handy whether you are working at home or on the road. What’s more, if you desire an even bigger screen, you can upgrade to a 17-inch widescreen notebook for only $150. Take a look at the enclosed booklet detailing the big savings for essential technology on a budget. We value your business and look forward to your future orders.

Although the direct pattern works for many requests and replies, it obviously won’t work for every situation. With more practice and experience, you will be able to alter the pattern and adapt your skills to other communication problems.

Goodwill Messages

Goodwill messages, which include thanks, recognition, and sympathy, seem to intim- idate many communicators. Finding the right words to express feelings is sometimes more difficult than writing ordinary business documents. Writers tend to procrasti- nate when it comes to goodwill messages, or else they send a ready-made card or pick up the telephone. Remember, though, that the personal sentiments of the sender are always more expressive and more meaningful to readers than are printed cards or oral messages. Taking the time to write gives more importance to our well-wishing. Personal notes also provide a record that can be reread, savored, and treasured.

In expressing thanks, recognition, or sympathy, you should always do so promptly. These messages are easier to write when the situation is fresh in your mind, and they mean more to the recipient. Don’t forget that a prompt thank-you note carries the hidden message that you care and that you consider the event to be important. You will learn to write various goodwill messages that deliver thanks, congratulations, praise, and sympathy. Instead of learning writing plans for each of them, we recom- mend that you concentrate on the five Ss. Goodwill messages should be:

Be sure to focus the message solely on the receiver not the sender. Don’t talk about yourself; avoid such comments as I remember when I . . . .

Personalize the message by mentioning specific incidents or character- istics of the receiver. Telling a colleague Great speech is much less effective than Great story about McDonald’s marketing in Moscow. Take care to verify names and other facts.

Let your words show genuine feelings. Rehearse in your mind how you would express the message to the receiver orally. Then transform that conversa- tional language to your written message. Avoid pretentious, formal, or flowery language (It gives me great pleasure to extend felicitations on the occasion of your firm’s twentieth anniversary).

Keep the message fresh and enthusiastic. Avoid canned phrases (Congratulations on your promotion, Good luck in the future). Strive for direct- ness and naturalness, not creative brilliance.

Although goodwill messages can be as long as needed, try to accomplish your purpose in only a few sentences. What is most important is remembering an individual. Such caring does not require documentation or wordiness. Individuals and business organizations often use special note cards or stationery for brief messages.

Expressing Thanks When someone has done you a favor or when an action merits praise, you need to extend thanks or show appreciation. Letters of appreciation may be written to customers for their orders, to hosts and hostesses for their hospitality, to individuals for kindnesses performed, and especially to customers who complain. After all, complainers are actu- ally providing you with “free consulting reports from the field.” Complainers who feel that they were listened to often become the greatest promoters of an organization.

Because the receiver will be pleased to hear from you, you can open directly with the purpose of your message. The letter in Figure 6.5 thanks a speaker who

Messages that express thanks, recognition, and sympathy should be written promptly.

Goodwill messages are most effective when they are selfl ess, specifi c, sincere, spontaneous, and short.

Send letters of thanks to customers, hosts, and individuals who have performed kind acts.

FIGURE 6.5

11Prewriting 2Writing 3Revising Analyze: The purpose of this letter is to express appreciation to a business executive for presenting a talk before professionals.

Anticipate: The reader will be more interested in personalized comments than in general statements showing gratitude.

Adapt: Because the reader will be pleased, use the direct pattern.

Research: Consult notes taken during the talk.

Organize: Open directly by giving the reason for writing. Express enthusiastic and sincere thanks. In the body provide specifics. Refer to facts and highlights in the talk. Supply sufficient detail to support your sincere compliments. Conclude with appreciation. Be warm and friendly.

Compose: Write the first draft.

Revise: Revise for tone and warmth. Use the reader’s name. Include concrete detail but do it concisely. Avoid sounding gushy or phony.

Proofread: Check the spelling of the receiver’s name; verify facts. Check the spelling of persistence, patience, and advice.

Evaluate: Does this letter convey sincere thanks?

addressed a group of marketing professionals. Although such thank-you notes can be quite short, this one is a little longer because the writer wants to lend importance to the receiver’s efforts. Notice that every sentence relates to the receiver and offers enthusiastic praise. By using the receiver’s name along with contractions and positive words, the writer makes the letter sound warm and conversational.

Written notes that show appreciation and express thanks are significant to their receivers. In expressing thanks, you generally write a short note on special note- paper or heavy card stock. The following messages provide models for expressing thanks for a gift, for a favor, and for hospitality.

Thanks, Laura, to you and the other members of the department for honoring me with the elegant Waterford crystal vase at the party celebrating my twentieth anniversary with the company.

The height and shape of the vase are perfect to hold roses and other bouquets from my garden. Each time I fill it, I will remember your thoughtfulness in choosing this lovely gift for me.

I sincerely appreciate your filling in for me last week when I was too ill to attend the planning committee meeting for the spring exhibition.

Without your participation much of my preparatory work would have been lost. It’s comforting to know that competent and generous individuals like you are part of our team, Mark. Moreover, it’s my very good fortune to be able to count you as a friend. I’m grateful to you.

Matt and I want you to know how much we enjoyed the dinner party for our department that you hosted Saturday evening. Your charming home and warm hospitality, along with the lovely dinner and sinfully delicious chocolate dessert, combined to create a truly memorable evening.

Most of all, though, we appreciate your kindness in cultivating togetherness in our department. Thanks, Lisa, for being such a special person.

Responding to Goodwill Messages Should you respond when you receive a congratulatory note or a written pat on the back? By all means! These messages are attempts to connect personally; they are efforts to reach out, to form professional and/or personal bonds. Failing to respond to notes of congratulations and most other goodwill messages is like failing to say “You’re welcome” when someone says “Thank you.” Responding to such messages is simply the right thing to do. Do avoid, though, minimizing your achievements with comments that suggest you don’t really deserve the praise or that the sender is exaggerating your good qualities.

Thanks for your kind words regarding my award, and thanks, too, for sending me the newspaper clipping. I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness and warm wishes.

Your note about my work made me feel good. I’m grateful for your thoughtfulness.

Conveying Sympathy Most of us can bear misfortune and grief more easily when we know that others care. Notes expressing sympathy, though, are probably more difficult to write than any other kind of message. Commercial “In sympathy” cards make the task easier—but they are far less meaningful. Grieving friends want to know what you think—not what

Identify the gift, tell why you appreciate it, and explain how you will use it.

Tell what the favor means using sincere, simple statements.

Compliment the fi ne food, charming surroundings, warm hospitality, excellent host and hostess, and good company.

Take the time to respond to any goodwill message you may receive.

Sympathy notes should refer to the misfortune sensitively and offer assistance.

Hallmark’s card writers think. To help you get started, you can always glance through cards expressing sympathy. They will supply ideas about the kinds of thoughts you might wish to convey in your own words. In writing a sympathy note, (a) refer to the death or misfortune sensitively, using words that show you understand what a crushing blow it is; (b) in the case of a death, praise the deceased in a personal way; (c) offer assistance without going into excessive detail; and (d) end on a reassuring, forward-looking note.

We are deeply saddened, Gayle, to learn of the death of your husband. Warren’s kind nature and friendly spirit endeared him to all who knew him. He will be missed.

Although words seem empty in expressing our grief, we want you to know that your friends at QuadCom extend their profound sympathy to you. If we may help you or lighten your load in any way, you have but to call.

We know that the treasured memories of your many happy years together, along with the support of your family and many friends, will provide strength and comfort in the months ahead.

Is E-Mail Appropriate for Goodwill Messages? In expressing thanks or responding to goodwill messages, handwritten notes are most impressive. However, if you frequently communicate with the receiver by e-mail and if you are sure your note will not get lost, then sending an e-mail goodwill message is acceptable, according to the Emily Post Institute.3 To express sympathy immediately after learning of a death or accident, you might precede a phone call or a written condolence message with an e-mail. E-mail is a fast and nonintrusive way to show your feelings. But, advises the Emily Post Institute, immediately follow with a handwritten note. Remember that e-mail messages are quickly gone and forgotten. Handwritten or printed messages remain and can be savored. Your thoughtfulness is more lasting if you take the time to prepare a handwritten or printed message on notepaper or personal stationery.

In condolence notes mention the loss tactfully and recognize the good qualities of the deceased.

Conclude on a positive, reassuring note.

SSSSSumming Up and Looking Forward Although e-mail is becoming an important communication channel for brief messages, business letters are still impor- tant. They are necessary for messages that must produce a permanent record, are confidential, convey formality and sensitivity, and deliver persuasive ideas. In this chapter you learned to write direct letters that request information or action. You also learned to write direct claims, direct replies,

adjustment letters, and a variety of goodwill messages. All of these routine letters use the direct strategy. They open imme- diately with the main idea followed by details and explana- tions. But not all letters will carry good news. Occasionally, you must deny requests and deliver bad news. In the next chapter you will learn to use the indirect strategy in convey- ing negative news.

CCCritical Thinking 1. An article in a professional magazine carried this headline:

“Is Letter Writing Dead?”4 How would you respond to such a question?

2. In promoting the value of letter writing, a well-known colum- nist recently wrote, “To trust confidential information to e-mail is to be a rube.”5 What did he mean? Do you agree?

Chapter Review

6. Under what circumstances is it better for a businessperson to send a letter than to use another communication channel?

7. When should you not write a business letter?

8. What determines whether you write a letter directly or indirectly?

9. What are the two most important positions in a letter?

10. List two ways that you could begin an inquiry letter that asks many questions.

11. What three elements are appropriate in the closing of a request for information?

12. What is a claim letter? Give an original example of a situation that might require a claim letter.

13. What is an adjustment letter, and what three goals does it have?

14. The best goodwill messages include what five characteristics?

15. When is it appropriate to use e-mail to deliver goodwill messages?

Summing Up and Looking Forward

Critical Thinking

3. Which is more effective in claim letters—anger or objec- tivity? Why?

4. Why is it important to regain the confidence of a customer when you respond to a claim letter?

5. Should companies automatically grant adjustments? For example, some customers buy a video camera or a dress for a special event and return the prod- uct afterward. What safeguards could be implemented?

CCChapter Review

Indicate which of the following entries represents an effective direct opening. 16. a. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Marquis Jones, and I am assistant to the director of

Employee Relations at United Anesthesia Associates. We place nurse anesthetists in hospitals. Each year we try to recognize outstanding staff members during Customer Service Week. I understand you provide an Idea Guide and that you sell special recognition gifts. I have a number of questions about them.

b. Please answer the following questions about ideas and gifts to recognize outstanding staff members during our Customer Service Week.

17. a. We have on hand an ample supply of HON 500 Series lateral file cabinets. b. Thank you for your e-mail of June 13 in which you inquired about the availability of HON 500 Series

lateral file cabinets. 18. a. Yes, we do offer “Get Away Today” discount vacations at Disneyland Resorts. b. This will acknowledge receipt of your May 15 inquiry in which you ask about our Disneyland

Resort “Get Away Today” package with discount vacations. 19. a. Your letter of August 2 requesting a refund has been referred to me because Mr. Solano is away

from the office. I am happy to respond to your inquiry requesting a refund of $175. b. Your refund check for $175 is enclosed. 20. a. We sincerely appreciate your recent order for Alpine Touring skis. Here at US Gear Shop, you will

always find a wide range of skis, snowboards, and surfing equipment. b. The Alpine Touring skis you ordered were shipped today by Mountain Express and should reach

you by October 12.

Revise the following openings so that they are more direct. Add information if necessary. 21. Hello! My name is Leeanne Gosbee, and I just saw the terrific Web site for your organization, Green

Living Spaces, which I understand is one of the world’s leading health and wellness companies. I have a number of questions about selling your products and earning commissions. At your Web site I learned about the possibility of gaining affiliate status, which I am definitely interested in, but I still have many questions not answered at your site.

22. Pursuant to your letter of November 19, I am writing in regard to your inquiry about whether we offer our Mediterranean-style patio umbrella in colors. This unique umbrella is a very popular item and receives a number of inquiries. Its 10-foot canopy protects you when the sun is directly overhead, but it also swivels and tilts to virtually any angle for continuous sun protection all day long. It comes in two colors: off-white and forest green.

23. Thank you for your letter inquiring about the possibility of my acting as a speaker at the final semester meeting of your business administration club on May 6. The topic of digital résumés and portfolios interests me and is one on which I think I could impart helpful information to your members. Therefore, I am responding in the affirmative to your kind invitation.

WWWriting Improvement Exercises

Writing Improvement Cases

24. We have just received your letter of January 29 regarding the unfortunate troubles you are having with your Pilgrim DVD player. In your letter you ask whether you may send the flawed DVD player to us for inspection. Although we normally handle all service requests through our local dealers, in your circumstance we are willing to take a look at your unit here at our Atlanta plant. Therefore, please send it to us so that we may determine what’s wrong.

25. Your message of June 18 has been given to me to answer. We regret that you were inconvenienced by receiving an incorrect invoice. We have used NetPost to transmit Visa invoices for eight years, and this is the first time that invoices were sent to the wrong recipients. We take what happened very seriously, and we are changing our procedures to avoid similar errors in the future. We can assure you that the revised invoice you will receive in two days is now correct. You may use your account again.

The following concluding paragraph to a claim letter response suffers from faults in strategy, tone, and emphasis. Revise and improve. 26. Although we do not feel that we are to blame for the delay in delivery of the hardwood floors about

which you complained, we are willing to give you a 10 percent discount on the total cost of this shipment. This should offset your pain caused by the delay of 10 weeks due to the container cargo disruption of all imported goods from China. Your hardwood floors won’t arrive for one more week, and once again, we apologize for the delay. Thank you for your business.

Writing Improvement Exercises

The following letter requests information; however, the first draft suffers from many writing faults.

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.

Current date

Mr. Kyle Gregory, Sales Manager Micro Supplies and Software 830 North Meridian Street Indianapolis, IN 46205

Dear Sir:

Our insurance rates will be increased in the near future due to the fact that we don’t have security devices on our computer equipment. Local suppliers were considered, but at this point in time none had exactly what we wanted. That’s why I am writing to see whether or not you can provide information and recommendations regarding equipment to prevent the pos- sible theft of office computers and printers. In view of the fact that our insurance carrier has set a deadline of April 1, we need fast action.

Our office now has 18 computer workstations along with twelve printers. We need a device that can be used to secure separate computer components to desks or counters. Would you please recommend a device that can secure a workstation consisting of a computer, monitor, and keyboard. We wonder if professionals are needed to install your security devices and to remove them. We are a small company, and we don’t have a staff of maintenance people.

WWWriting Improvement Cases

One problem is whether the devices can be easily removed when we need to move equipment around. We are, of course, very interested in the price of each device. What about quantity discounts, if you offer them.

Until such time as we hear from you, thank you in advance for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

1. List at least five weaknesses of this letter.

2. Outline a writing plan for a direct request.

The following letter conveys a complaint and makes a claim. However, its poor tone and expression may prevent the receiver from getting what he wants.

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.

Current date

Mr. Orion Murillo, Manager Customer Response Center Western Car Rentals 2259 Weatherford Boulevard Dallas, TX 74091

Dear Manager Orion Murillo:

With the exorbitant cost of gasoline today, I am totally frustrated at my experience with Western Car Rentals! I’m ticked off because you can’t seem to decide what to do about fill-ups. Either you provide customers with cars with full gas tanks or you don’t. And if you don’t, you shouldn’t charge them when they return with empty tanks!

In view of the fact that I picked up a car at the Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport on June 23 with an empty tank, I had to fill it immediately. Then I drove it until June 26. When I returned the car to Houston, as previously planned, I naturally let the tank go nearly empty, since that is the way I received the car in Dallas-Ft. Worth.

But your attendant in Houston charged me to fill the tank—$69.43 (premium gasoline at premium prices)! Although I explained to her that I had received it with an empty tank, she kept telling me that company policy required that she charge for a fill-up. My total bill came to $446.50, which, you must agree, is a lot of money for a rental period of only three days. I have the signed rental agreement and a receipt showing that I paid the full amount and that it included $69.43 for a gas fill-up when I returned the car. Those are the true facts! Any correspondence should be directed to the undersigned at Impact Group, 402 North Griffin Street, Dallas, TX 74105.

Inasmuch as my company is a new customer and inasmuch as we had hoped to use your agency for our future car rentals because of your competitive rates, I trust that you will give this matter your prompt attention.

Your unhappy customer,

1. List at least five weaknesses of this letter.

Activities and Cases

2. Outline a writing plan for a claim request.

When a company received an expensive office painting with sags in the canvas, it complained. The seller, Manhattan Galleries, responded with the following adjustment letter. How can it be improved?

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.

Current date

Ms. Sharon Nickels 2459 Drew Street Clearwater, FL 33765

Dear Ms. Nickels:

Your letter has been referred to me for reply. You claim that the painting recently sent by Manhattan Galleries arrived with sags in the canvas and that you are unwilling to hang it in your company’s executive offices.

I have examined your complaint carefully, and, frankly, I find it difficult to believe because we are so careful about shipping, but if what you say is true, I suspect that the shipper may be the source of your problem. We give explicit instructions to our shippers that large paintings must be shipped standing up, not lying down. We also wrap every painting in two layers of convoluted foam and one layer of Perf-Pack foam, which we think should be sufficient to withstand any bumps and scrapes that negligent shipping may cause. We will certainly look into this.

Although it is against our policy, we will in this instance allow you to take this painting to a local framing shop for restretching. We are proud that we can offer fine works of original art at incredibly low prices, and you can be sure that we do not send out sagging canvases.

Sincerely,

1. List at least five weaknesses of this adjustment letter.

AAActivities and Cases As an assistant in the Community Involvement Program of your corporation, you have been given an unusual task. Your boss wants to expand the company’s philanthropic and community relations mission and especially employee volunteerism. She heard about The Seeing Eye, a program in which volunteers raise puppies for 14 to 18 months for guide dog training. She thinks this would be an excellent outreach program for the company’s employees. They could give back to the community in their role as puppy raisers. To pursue the idea, she asks you to request information about the program and ask questions about whether a company could sponsor a program encouraging employees to act as volunteers. She hasn’t thought it through very carefully and relies on you to raise logical questions, especially about costs for volunteers.

Write an information request to Susanna Odell, The Seeing Eye, 9002 East Chaparral Road, Scottsdale, AZ 85250. Include an end date and a reason.

Workers in your office are big coffee drinkers. Some leave work to go to a nearby Starbucks, and others use instant coffee to brew their own. As manager, you realize that productivity and morale could be improved if your office supplied “coffee

shop quality” in freshly brewed coffee. You saw a Maxima beverage system at another company, and you decide to look into purchasing such a system for your office. You have a number of questions about such a system.

The biggest problem is plumbing. If it requires plumbing, you can’t use it. You do have cold water available, but not plumbing. You wonder whether a Maxima Brewing System offers drinks other than coffee, such as hot chocolate and tea. Because you are a cappuccino fan, you want to know whether it makes authentic milk foam. Naturally, you are concerned about cleaning, maintenance, supplies, and repairs. You also worry about how employees will pay for each cup of coffee or other beverage. Perhaps coin operation is available. A No. 1 concern, of course, is how much the system would cost and what kind of warranty is offered.

Write a well-organized information request to Ms. Ann Pagnotta, Sales Manager, Maxima Brewing Systems, 1849 Alum Creek Drive, Columbus, OH 43207. Inquire about a Maxima Brewing System for your 25-person office staff. You need the information within two weeks for the next management council meeting.

Your company, Software.com, wants to hold its next company-wide meeting in a resort location. The CEO has asked you, as marketing manager, to find a conference location for your 85 engineers, product managers, and marketing staff. He wants the company to host a four-day combination sales conference/vacation/retreat at some spectacular spot. He suggests that you start by inquiring at the amazing Caesars Palace Las Vegas. You check its Web site and discover interesting information. However, you decide to write a letter so that you can have a permanent, formal record of all the resorts you investigate.

You estimate that your company will require about 80 rooms. You will also need three conference rooms (to accommodate 25 or more) for one and a half days. You want to know room rates, conference facilities, and entertainment options for families. You have two periods that would be possible: April 20–24 or July 10–14. You know that one of these is at an off-peak time, and you wonder whether you can get a good room rate. You are interested in entertainment at Caesars during these times. One evening the CEO will want to host a banquet for about 125 people. The CEO wants a report from you by December 3.

Write a well-organized information request to Ms. Isabella Cervantes, Manager, Convention Services, Caesars Palace, 257 Palace Drive, Las Vegas, NV 87551. You might like to take a look at the Caesars Web site at

As marketing manager of Rochester Preferred Travel, you are upset with Premier Promos. Premier is a catalog company that provides imprinted promotional products for companies. Your travel company was looking for something special to offer in promoting its cruise ship travel packages. Premier offered free samples of its promotional merchandise under its “No Surprise” policy.

You figured, what could you lose? So on January 11 you placed a telephone order for a number of samples. These included three kinds of jumbo tote bags and a square-ended barrel bag with fanny pack, as well as a deluxe canvas attaché case and two colors of garment-dyed sweatshirts. All items were supposed to be free. You did think it odd that you were asked for your company’s Master Card number, but Premier promised to bill you only if you kept the samples.

When the items arrived, you weren’t pleased, and you returned them all on January 21 (you have a postal receipt show- ing the return). But your February credit statement showed a charge of $239.58 for the sample items. You called Premier in February and spoke to Diane, who assured you that a credit would be made on your next statement. However, your March statement showed no credit. You called again and received a similar promise. It is now April and no credit has been made. You decide to write and demand action.

Write a claim letter that documents the problem and states the action you want taken. Add any information you feel is necessary. Address your letter to Mr. Kevin Chitwood, Customer Services, Premier Promos, 2445 Bermiss Road, Valdosta, GA 31602.

As the owner of Contempo Interiors, you recently worked on the custom Indiana home of an NBA basketball player. He requested an oversized 12-foot mahogany entry door. You ordered by telephone the solid mahogany door (“Provence”) from American Custom Wood on May 17. When it arrived on June 28, your carpenter gave you the bad news. Magnificent as it was, the huge door was cut too small. Instead of measuring a total of 12 feet 2 inches, the door measured 11 feet 10 inches. In your carpenter’s words, “No way can I stretch that door to fit this opening!” You waited four weeks for this hand-crafted custom door, and your client wanted it installed immediately. Your carpenter said, “I can rebuild this opening for you, but I’m going to have to charge you for my time.” His extra charge came to $940.50.

You feel that the people at American Custom Wood should reimburse you for this amount since it was their error. In fact, you actually saved them a bundle of money by not returning the door. You decide to write to American Custom Wood and enclose a copy of your carpenter’s bill. You wonder whether you should also include a copy of the invoice, even though it does not show the exact door measurements. You are a good customer of American Custom Wood, having used its quality doors and windows on many other jobs. You are confident that it will grant this claim.

Write a claim letter to Michael Medina, Operations Manager, American Custom Wood, 140 NE 136 Avenue, Vancouver, WA 98654.

Have you ever bought a product that didn’t work as promised? Have you been disappointed in service at a bank, video store, restaurant, department store, or discount house? Have you had ideas about how a company or organization could improve its image, service, or product? Remember that smart companies want to know what their customers think, especially if a product could be improved.

Select a product or service that has disappointed you. Write a claim letter requesting a refund, replacement, explanation, or whatever seems reasonable. For claims about food products, be sure to include bar-code identification from the package, if possible. Your instructor may ask you to actually mail this letter. When you receive a response, share it with your class.

Ace Executive Training Institute offered a seminar titled “Enterprise Project Management Protocol” that sounded terrific. It promised to teach project managers how to estimate work, report status, write work packages, and cope with project con- flicts. Because your company often is engaged in large cross-functional projects, it decided to send four key managers to the seminar to be held June 1–2 at the Ace headquarters in Pittsburgh. The fee was $2,200 each, and it was paid in advance. About six weeks before the seminar, you learned that three of the managers would be tied up in projects that would not be completed in time for them to attend.

On your company letterhead, write a claim letter to Addison O’Neill, Registrar, Ace Executive Training Institute, 5000 Forbes Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15244. Ask that the seminar fees for three employees be returned because they cannot attend. Give yourself a title and supply any details necessary.

As project manager at Liberty Property Management, you are in charge of landscaping maintenance for many clients includ- ing Sycamore Business Park. Recently two tenants called to complain that their lawns had not been cut for two weeks and that weeds were growing in the parking lot. You drove out to see for yourself, and sure enough, Sycamore was looking a bit bedraggled. You also noticed that fallen tree branches from a recent windstorm were lying on the ground. Back in the office, you checked the files and saw that Stephen’s Landscaping Service had been hired to mow lawns and service the grounds at Sycamore. You checked further and saw that the original contract called for a fee of $350 per month. However, the latest bill paid was $410. You can’t understand why the price was increased without your knowledge. After leaving several telephone messages at Stephen’s Landscaping and receiving no response, you know you must write a letter.

Decide what you want to do in this situation. Send an appropriate letter explaining your claim or complaint to Stephen Hawasaki, Stephen’s Landscaping Service, Box 11A, Elkhart, IN 46515. Add any necessary details.

WEB

As the program chair for the SIU Ski Club, you have been asked by president Brian Krauss to investigate river rafting. The SIU Ski Club is an active organization, and its members want to schedule a summer activity. A majority favor rafting. Use a browser such as Google to search the Web for relevant information. Select five of the most promising Web sites offering rafting. If possible, print a copy of your findings.

Summarize your findings in a response letter to SIU Ski Club president. The next meeting is May 8, but you think it would be a good idea if you could discuss your findings with Brian before the meeting. Address your letter to Brian Krauss, President, SIU Ski Club, 303 Founders Hall, Carbondale, IL 62901.

TEAM

As part of a team of interns at the catalog store Patagonia, you have been asked to write a form letter to send to job appli- cants who inquire about your résumé-scanning techniques. The following poorly written response to an inquiry was pulled from the file.

Dear Ms. Moscatelli:

Your letter of April 11 has been referred to me for a response. We are pleased to learn that you are considering employment here at Patagonia, and we look forward to receiving your résumé, should you decide to send same to us.

You ask if we scan incoming résumés. Yes, we certainly do. Actually, we use SmartTrack, an automated résumé-tracking system. We sometimes receive as many as 300 résumés a day, and SmartTrack helps us sort, screen, filter, and separate the résumés. It also processes them, helps us organize them, and keeps a record of all of these résumés. Some of the résumés, however, cannot be scanned, so we have to return those—if we have time.

The reasons that résumés won’t scan may surprise you. Some applicants send photocopies or faxed copies, and these can cause misreading, so don’t do it. The best plan is to send an original copy. Some people use colored paper. Big mistake!

White paper (8½ 11-inch) printed on one side is the best bet. Another big problem is unusual type fonts, such as script or fancy gothic or antique fonts. They don’t seem to realize that scanners do best with plain, readable fonts such as Helvetica or Arial in a 10- to 14-point size.

Other problems occur when applicants use graphics, shading, italics, underlining, horizontal and vertical lines, parentheses, and brackets. Scanners like plain, unadorned résumés. Oh yes, staples can cause misreading. And folding of a résumé can also cause the scanners to foul up. To be safe, don’t staple or fold, and be sure to use wide margins and a quality printer.

When a hiring manager within Patagonia decides to look for an appropriate candidate, he is told to submit keywords to describe the candidate he has in mind for his opening. We tell him (or sometimes her) to zero in on nouns and phrases that best describe what they want. Thus, my advice to you is to try to include those words that highlight your technical and professional areas of expertise.

If you do decide to submit your résumé to us, be sure you don’t make any of the mistakes described herein that would cause the scanner to misread it.

Sincerely,

As a team, discuss how this letter could be improved. Decide what information is necessary to send to potential job applicants. Search for additional information that might be helpful. Then, submit an improved version to your instruc- tor. Although the form letter should be written so that it can be sent to anyone who inquires, address this one to Carmela Moscatelli, 327 Avalon Way, Las Vegas, NV 89154.

A friend in a distant city is considering moving to your area for more education and training in your field. Your friend has asked you for information about your program of study.

Write a letter describing a program in your field (or any field you wish to describe). What courses must be taken? Toward what degree, certificate, or employment position does this program lead? Why did you choose it? Would you recom- mend this program to your friend? How long does it take? Add any information you feel would be helpful.

As Michael Medina, operations manager, American Custom Wood, you have a problem. Your firm manufactures quality pre- cut and custom-built doors and frames. You have received a letter from Erica Adams (described in Activity 6.8), an interior designer. Her letter explained that the custom mahogany door (“Provence”) she received was cut to the wrong dimensions. She ordered an oversized door measuring 12 feet 2 inches. The door that arrived was 11 feet 10 inches.

Ms. Adams kept the door because her client, an NBA basketball player, insisted that the front of the house be closed up. Therefore, she had her carpenter resize the opening. He charged $940.50 for this corrective work. She claims that you should reimburse her for this amount, since your company was responsible for the error. You check her May 17 order and find that the order was filled correctly. In a telephone order, Ms. Adams requested the Provence double-entry door measuring 11 feet 10 inches, and that is what you sent. Now she says that the door should have been 12 feet 2 inches.

Your policy forbids refunds or returns on custom orders. Yet, you remember that around May 15 you had two new people working the phones taking orders. It is possible that they did not hear or record the measurements correctly. You don’t know whether to grant this claim or refuse it. But you do know that you must look into the training of telephone order takers and be sure that they verify all custom order measurements. It might also be a good idea to have your craftspeople call a second time to confirm custom measurements.

Ms. Adams is a successful interior designer who has provided American Custom Wood with a number of orders. You value her business but aren’t sure how to respond. You would like to remind her that American Custom Wood has earned a reputation as a premier manufacturer of wood doors and frames. Your doors feature prime woods, meticulous craftsmanship, and award-winning designs. What’s more, the engineering is ingenious. You also have a wide range of classic designs.

Decide how to treat this claim and then respond to Erica Adams, Contempo Interiors, 2304 River Ridge Road, Indianapolis, IN 46031. You might mention that you have a new line of greenhouse windows that are available in three sizes. Include a brochure describing these windows.

As the marketing manager at Carolina Furniture Galleries, you handle customer claims, and today you must respond to Jill Hudson Owens. She is returning a North American white oak executive desk. This handsome desk, embellished with hand- inlaid walnut cross-banding, is made with full-suspension, silent ball-bearing drawer slides. She was disappointed in the wood grain, and she said that many of the drawers would not pull out easily. You find this hard to believe since the desk was in perfect condition when it was shipped. Not only does she want a full refund, as your catalog promises, but she wants you to pay the freight charges.

You are bothered that she is returning this executive desk (Invoice 2091), but your policy is to comply with customer wishes. If she doesn’t want to keep the desk, you will certainly return the purchase price plus shipping charges. Desks are occasionally damaged in shipping, and this may explain the marred finish and sticking drawers.

You will try to persuade Ms. Owens to give Carolina Furniture Galleries another chance. After all, your office furniture and other wood products are made from the finest hand-selected woods by master artisans. Because she is apparently furnish- ing her office, send her another catalog and invite her to look at the traditional conference desk on page 9. This is available with a matching credenza, file cabinets, and accessories. She might be interested in your furniture-leasing plan, which can produce substantial savings.

Write to Ms. Jill Hudson Owens, President, Estate Management Services, 3920 East Napier Avenue, Benton Harbor, MI 49021. In granting her claim, promise that you will personally examine any furniture she may order in the future. Supply any necessary details.

You didn’t want to do it. But guests were complaining about the pigeons that roost on the Scottsdale Hilton’s upper floors and tower. Pigeon droppings splattered sidewalks, furniture, and people. As manager, you had to take action. You called an exterminator who recommended Avitrol. This drug, he promised, would disorient the birds, preventing them from finding their way back to the Hilton. The drugging, however, produced a result you didn’t expect: pigeons began dying.

After a story hit the local newspapers, you began to receive complaints. The most vocal came from the Avian Affairs Coalition, a local bird-advocacy group. It said that the pigeons are really Mediterranean rock doves, the original “Dove of Peace” in European history and the same species the Bible said Noah originally released from his ark during the great flood. Activists claimed that Avitrol is a lethal drug causing birds, animals, and even people who ingest as little as 1/600th of a teaspoon to convulse and die lingering deaths of up to two hours.

Repulsed at the pigeon deaths and the bad publicity, you stopped the use of Avitrol immediately. You are now consider- ing installing wires that offer a mild, nonlethal electrical shock. These wires, installed at the Maricopa County Jail in downtown Phoenix for $50,000, keep thousands of pigeons from alighting and could save $1 million in extermination and cleanup costs over the life of the building. You are also considering installing netting that forms a transparent barrier, sealing areas against entry by birds.

Respond to Mrs. Meredith Van Huss, 17168 Blackhawk Boulevard, Friendswood, TX 77546, a recent Scottsdale Hilton guest. She sent a letter condemning the pigeon poisoning and threatening to never return to the hotel unless it changed its policy. Try to regain the confidence of Mrs. Van Huss and promote further business.

Congratulations! You completed your degree and got a terrific job in your field. One of your instructors was especially help- ful to you when you were a student. This instructor also wrote an effective letter of recommendation that was instrumental in helping you obtain your job.

Write a letter thanking your instructor. Remember to make your thanks specific so that your words are meaningful.

TEAM

Your business communication class was fortunate to have author Joyce Lain Kennedy speak to you. She has written many books including Electronic Job Search Revolution; Hook Up, Get Hired; and Electronic Résumé Revolution. Ms. Kennedy talked about writing a scannable résumé, using keywords to help employers hire you, keeping yourself visible in databases on the Internet, and finding online classified ads. The class especially liked hearing the many examples of real people who had found jobs on the Internet. Ms. Kennedy shared many suggestions from human resources people, and she described how large and small employers are using computers to read résumés and track employees. You know that she did not come to plug her books, but when she left, most class members wanted to head straight for a bookstore to get some of them. Her talk was a big hit.

Individually or in groups, draft a thank-you letter to Joyce Lain Kennedy, P.O. Box 3502, Carlsbad, CA 92009.

You and other members of your staff or organization were entertained at an elegant dinner during the winter holiday season.

Write a thank-you letter to your boss (supervisor, manager, vice president, president, or chief executive offi- cer) or to the head of an organization to which you belong. Include specific details that will make your letter personal and sincere.

Write a short note thanking a friend who sent you good wishes when you recently completed your degree.

Imagine that a coworker was killed in an automobile accident. Write a letter of sympathy to his or her spouse.

Review the Grammar Review section of the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook Sections 2.01– 2.04. Then study each of the following statements and insert necessary commas. In the space provided write the number of commas that you add; write 0 if no commas are needed. Also record the number of the G/M principle illustrated. When you finish, compare your responses with those shown at the end of the book. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles shown in parentheses.

In this class students learn to write clear and concise business letters e-mail mes- sages memos and reports.

1. We do not as a rule allow employees to take time off for dental appointments. 2. You may be sure Mr. Sanchez that your car will be ready by 4 p.m. 3. Anyone who is reliable conscientious and honest should be very successful. 4. A conference on sales motivation is scheduled for May 5 at the Anaheim Marriott Hotel

beginning at 2 p.m. 5. As a matter of fact I just called your office this morning. 6. We are relocating our distribution center from Memphis Tennessee to Des Moines Iowa. 7. In the meantime please continue to send your orders to the regional office. 8. The last meeting recorded in the minutes was on February 4 2008 in Chicago. 9. Mr. Loh Mrs. Adams and Ms. Horne are our new representatives. 10. The package mailed to Ms. Leslie Holmes 3430 Larkspur Lane San Diego CA 92110

arrived three weeks after it was mailed. 11. The manager feels needless to say that the support of all employees is critical. 12. Eric was assigned three jobs: checking supplies replacing inventories and distributing

delivered goods. 13. We will work diligently to retain your business Mr. Bell. 14. The vice president feels however that all sales representatives need training. 15. The name selected for a product should be right for that product and should emphasize

its major attributes.

VVVideo Resources In an exciting inside look, you will

see managers discussing six factors that determine Ben & Jerry’s continuing success. Toward the end of the video, you will hear a discussion of a new packaging material made with unbleached paper. The new packaging paper was chosen because chlorine is not used in its manufac- ture. What’s wrong with chlorine? Although it makes paper white, chlorine contains dioxin, which is known to cause cancer, genetic and reproductive defects, and learning dis- abilities. In producing paper, pulp mills using chlorine are also adding to dioxin contamination of waterways. Finding a chlorine-free, unbleached paperboard for its packages delighted Ben & Jerry’s. However, the new process resulted in packages whose inner surfaces are brown, rather than white.

You have been hired at Ben & Jerry’s to help answer inquiries. Although you are fairly new, your boss gives you

a letter from an unhappy customer. This customer opened a pint container of Ben & Jerry’s “World’s Best Vanilla” and then threw it out. He saw the brown inner lid and inner sides of the package, and he decided that his pint container must have been used for chocolate before it was used for vanilla. Or, he said, “The entire pint has gone bad and somehow turned the insides brown.” Whatever the reason, he wasn’t taking any chances. Although he is a longtime customer, he now wants his money back. The last comment in his letter was, “I like your stand on environmental and social issues, but I don’t like getting my ice cream in used containers.”

Write an adjustment letter that explains the brown interior of the carton, justifies the use of the new packaging material, and retains the customer’s business. How could you promote future business with this customer? Address your letter to Mr. Adam W. Johnson, 4030 West Griswold Road, Phoenix, AZ 85051.

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Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 6

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The following memo has errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, proofreading, and other problems. You may either (a) use standard proofreading marks (see Appendix B) to correct the errors here or (b) download the document from your companion Web site and revise at your computer. Study the guidelines in the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook to sharpen your skills.

Video Resources

Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 6

GGGrammar/Mechanics Challenge 6

Dear Mr. Lee:

Subject: Your May 20 Inquiry About WorkZone Software

Yes we do offer personel record-keeping software specially designed for small businesses like your’s. Here’s answers to your three questions about this software;

1. Our Work Zone software provide standard employee forms so you are all ways in compliance with current goverment regulations. 2. You receive an interviewer’s guide for structured employee interviews and you also receive a scripted format for checking references by telephone. 3. Yes you can up date your employees records easy with out the need for additional software, hardware or training.

Our WorkZone software was specially designed to provide you with expert forms for interviewing, verifying references, recording attendance, evaluating performance and tracking the status of your employees. We even provide you with step by step instructions, and suggested procedures. You can treat your employees as if you had a Professional Human Resources Specialist on your staff.

On page 6 of the enclosed pamphlet you can read about our WorkZone software. to receive a preview copy, or to ask questions about it’s use just call 1-800-354-5500. Our specialists are eager to help you week days from 8 to 5 PST. If you prefer visit our Web site at www.workzone.com for more information, or to place an order.

Sincerely,

Jacob Scott Senior Marketing Representative

Enclosure

May 25, 200x

Ms. Breanna Lee, Manager White-Rather Enterprises 1349 Century Boulevard Wichita Falls, TX 76308

Etiquette, civility, and goodwill efforts may seem out of place in today’s fast-paced, high- tech offices. However, etiquette and courtesy are more important than ever if diverse employees want to work cooperatively and maximize productivity and workflow. Many organizations recognize that good manners are good for business. Some colleges and uni- versities offer management programs that include a short course in manners. Companies are also conducting manners seminars for trainee and veteran managers. Why is polite- ness regaining legitimacy as a leadership tool? Primarily because courtesy works.

Good manners convey a positive image of an organization. We like to do business with people who show respect and treat others civilly. People also like to work in an environ- ment that is pleasant. Considering how much time is spent at work, doesn’t it make sense to prefer an agreeable environment to one in which people are rude and uncivil?

You can brush up your workplace etiquette skills online at “Dr. Guffey’s Guide to Business Etiquette and Workplace Manners” ( ). Of interest to both workplace newcomers and veterans, this guide covers the following topics:

Professional Image Business Cards Introductions and Greetings Dealing With Angry Customers Networking Manners Telephone Manners General Workplace Manners Cell Phone Etiquette Coping With Cubicles E-Mail Etiquette Interacting With Superiors Gender-Free Etiquette Managers’ Manners Business Dining Business Meetings Avoiding Social Blunders When Abroad Business Gifts

To gauge your current level of knowledge of business etiquette, take the preview quiz at . Then, study all 17 business etiquette topics. These easy-to-read topics are arranged in bulleted lists of dos and don’ts. After you complete this etiquette module, your instructor may test your comprehension by giving a series of posttests.

As manager at OfficeTemps, a company specializing in employment placement and human resources information, you received a request from a reporter. She is preparing an article for a national news organization about how workplace etiquette is changing in today’s high-tech environment. The reporter asks for any other information you can share with her regarding her topic, “Information Age Etiquette.” Her letter lists the following questions:

Are etiquette and workplace manners still important in today’s fast-paced Information Age work environment? Why or why not? Do workers need help in developing good business manners? Why or why not? Are the rules of office conduct changing? If so, how? What advice can you give about gender-free etiquette? What special manners do people working in shared workspaces need to observe?

Your Task In teams or individually, prepare an information response letter addressed to Ms. Lindsey Ann Evans, National Press Association, 443 Riverside Drive, New York, NY 10024. Use the data you learned in this workshop. Conduct additional Web research if you wish. Remember that you will be quoted in her newspaper article, so make it interesting!

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OBJECTIVES

Strategies for Delivering Bad News

In all businesses, things sometimes go wrong. Goods are not delivered, products fail to perform as expected, service is poor, billing gets fouled up, or customers are mis- understood. You may have to write messages ending business relationships, declining proposals, announcing price increases, refusing requests for donations, terminating employees, turning down invitations, or responding to unhappy customers. You might have to apologize for mistakes in orders, errors in pricing, the rudeness of employees, overlooked appointments, substandard service, pricing errors, faulty accounting, defec- tive products, or jumbled instructions.

Everyone occasionally must deliver bad news. Because bad news disappoints, irritates, and sometimes angers the receiver, such messages must be written care- fully. The bad feelings associated with disappointing news can generally be reduced if the receiver (a) knows the reasons for the rejection, (b) feels that the news was revealed sensitively, (c) thinks the matter was treated seriously, and (d) believes that the decision was fair. You have probably heard people say, It wasn’t so much the bad news that I resented. It was the way I was told!

In this chapter you will learn when to use the direct pattern and when to use the indirect pattern to deliver bad news. You will study the goals of business com- municators in working with bad news, and you will examine three causes for legal concerns. The major focus of this chapter, however, is on developing the indirect

Negative Messages

77C H A P T E R 7

The sting of bad news can be reduced by giving reasons and communicating sensitively.

OFFICE INSIDER

strategy and applying it to situations in which you must refuse typical requests, reject claims, and deliver negative news to employees and customers.

Primary and Secondary Goals in Communicating Bad News Delivering bad news is not the happiest writing task you may have, but it can be gratifying if you do it effectively. As a business communicator working with bad news, you will have many goals, the most important of which are these:

Make the receiver understand the bad news Help the receiver accept the bad news Maintain a positive image of you and your orga-

nization

Reduce bad feelings Convey fairness Eliminate future correspondence Avoid creating legal liability or responsibility for

you or your organization

These are ambitious goals, and we are not always successful in achieving them all. This chapter, however, provides the beginning communicator with strategies and tactics that many writers have found helpful in conveying disappointing news sensitively and safely. With experience, you will be able to vary these patterns and adapt them to your organization’s specific writing tasks.

Using the Indirect Pattern to Prepare the Reader Whereas good news can be revealed quickly, bad news is generally easier to accept when broken gradually. Revealing bad news slowly and indirectly shows sensitiv- ity to your reader. By preparing the reader, you tend to soften the impact. A blunt announcement of disappointing news might cause the receiver to stop reading and toss the message aside. The indirect strategy enables you to keep the reader’s attention until you have been able to explain the reasons for the bad news. In fact, the most important part of a bad-news message is the explanation, which you will learn about shortly. The indirect plan consists of four parts, as shown in Figure 7.1:

The indirect pattern softens the impact of bad news by giving reasons and explanations fi rst.

FIGURE 7.1

Open with a neutral but meaningful statement that does not mention the bad news.

Explain the causes of the bad news before disclosing it.

Reveal the bad news without emphasizing it. Provide an alterna- tive or compromise, if possible.

End with a personalized, forward-looking, pleasant statement. Avoid referring to the bad news.

ClosingBad NewsReasonsBuffer

WORKPLACE IN FOCUS

Société Générale, situated here among the skyscrapers of Paris, suffered the worst loss in banking history when a junior employee liquidated more than $7 billion in a fraudulent trading scheme. In a letter to the bank’s customers, CEO Daniel Bouton opened immediately with the bad news: “It is my duty to inform you that Société Générale has been a victim of a serious internal fraud committed by an imprudent employee in the Corporate and Investment Banking Division.” Bouton went on to reveal a disaster- response plan and assured customers that lost funds would be replaced with emergency funding from the international banking community. Should the bank have buffered this bad news by revealing it more gradually in the letter?

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Introduce the message with a neutral statement that makes the reader continue reading.

Explain why the bad news was necessary and that the matter was taken seriously.

Provide a clear but understated announcement of the bad news that might include an alternative or a compromise.

End with a warm, forward-looking statement that might mention good wishes, gifts, or sales promotion.

When to Use the Direct Pattern Many bad-news letters are best organized indirectly, beginning with a buffer and reasons. The direct pattern, with the bad news first, may be more effective, though, in situations such as the following:

Rate increases, changes in ser- vice, new policy requirements—these critical messages may require directness to ensure attention.

Some companies expect all internal messages and announcements—even bad news—to be straightforward and presented without frills.

Busy managers may prefer directness. If you know that the reader prefers that the facts be presented straightaway, use the direct pattern.

Messages that must demonstrate determination and strength should not use delaying techniques. For example, the last in a series of col- lection letters that seek payment of overdue accounts may require a direct opener.

If the bad news is insignificant (such as a small increase in cost) and doesn’t personally affect the receiver, then the direct strategy certainly makes sense.

Applying the Writing Process Thinking through the entire writing process is especially important in bad-news let- ters. Not only do you want the receiver to understand and accept the message, but also you want to be careful that your words say only what you intend. Therefore, you will want to apply the familiar 3-x-3 writing process to bad-news letters.

Analysis, Anticipation, and Adaptation. In Phase 1 (prewriting) you need to analyze the bad news so that you can anticipate its effect on the receiver. If the disappointment will be mild, announce it directly. If the bad news is serious or personal, consider techniques to reduce the pain. Adapt your words to protect the receiver’s ego. Instead of You neglected to change the oil, causing severe damage to the engine, switch to the passive voice: The oil wasn’t changed, causing severe damage to the engine. Choose words that show you respect the reader as a responsible, valuable person.

Research, Organization, and Composition. In Phase 2 (writing) you can gather information and brainstorm for ideas. Jot down all the reasons you have that explain the bad news. If four or five reasons prompted your negative decision, concentrate on the strongest and safest ones. Avoid presenting any weak reasons; readers may seize on them to reject the entire message. After selecting your best reasons, outline the four parts of the bad-news pattern: buffer, reasons, bad news, and closing. Flesh out each section as you compose your first draft.

Revision, Proofreading, and Evaluation. In Phase 3 (revising) you are ready to switch positions and put yourself into the receiver’s shoes. Have you looked at the problem from the receiver’s perspective? Is your message too blunt? Too subtle? Does the message make the refusal, denial, or bad-news announcement clear? Prepare the final version, and proofread for format, punctuation, and correctness.

The direct pattern is appropriate when the receiver might overlook the bad news, when directness is preferred, when fi rmness is necessary, and when the bad news is not damaging.

Following a writing process is especially important in crafting bad-news messages because of the potential consequences of poorly written messages.

Avoiding Three Causes of Legal Problems Before we examine the components of a bad-news message, we must look more closely at how you can avoid exposing yourself and your employer to legal liability in writing negative messages. Although we can’t always anticipate the consequences of our words, we should be alert to three causes of legal difficulties: (a) abusive language, (b) careless language, and (c) the “good-guy syndrome.”

Abusive Language. Calling people names (such as deadbeat, crook, or quack) can get you into trouble. Defamation is the legal term for any false state- ment that harms an individual’s reputation. When the abusive language is written, it is called libel; when spoken, it is slander.

To be actionable (likely to result in a lawsuit), abusive language must be (a) false, (b) damaging to one’s good name, and (c) “published”—that is, written or spoken within the presence of others. If you were alone with Jane Doe and you accused her of accepting bribes and selling company secrets to competitors, she could not sue because the defamation was not published. Her reputation was not damaged. However, if anyone heard the words or if they were written, you might be legally liable.

In a new wrinkle, you may now be prosecuted if you transmit a harassing or libelous message by e-mail or post it at a Web site. Such electronic transmissions are considered to be “published.” Moreover, a company may incur liability for messages sent through its computer system by employees. That is one reason many companies are increasing their monitoring of both outgoing and internal messages. “Off-the-cuff, casual e-mail conversations among employees are exactly the type of messages that tend to trigger lawsuits and arm litigators with damaging evi- dence,” says e-mail guru Nancy Flynn.1 Instant messaging adds another danger for companies. Whether their messages are in print or sent electronically, competent communicators avoid making unproven charges and letting their emotions prompt abusive language.

Careless Language. As the marketplace becomes increasingly litigious, we must be certain that our words communicate only what we intend. Take the case of a factory worker injured on the job. His attorney subpoenaed company documents and discovered a seemingly harmless letter sent to a group regarding a plant tour. These words appeared in the letter: “Although we are honored at your interest in our company, we cannot give your group a tour of the plant operations as it would be too noisy and dangerous.” The court found in favor of the worker, inferring from the letter that working conditions were indeed hazardous.2 The letter writer did not intend to convey the impression of dangerous working conditions, but the court accepted that interpretation.

The Good-Guy Syndrome. Most of us hate to have to reveal bad news— that is, to be the bad guy. To make ourselves look better, to make the receiver feel better, and to maintain good relations, we are tempted to make statements that are legally dangerous. Consider the case of a law firm interviewing job candidates. One of the firm’s partners was asked to inform a candidate that she was not selected. The partner’s letter said, “Although you were by far the most qualified candidate we interviewed, unfortunately, we have decided we do not have a position for a person of your talents at this time.” To show that he personally had no reservations about this candidate and to bolster the candidate, the partner offered his own opinion. However, he differed from the majority of the recruiting committee. When the rejected interviewee learned later that the law firm had hired two male attorneys, she sued, charging sexual discrimination. The court found in favor of the rejected candidate. It agreed that a reasonable inference could be made from the partner’s letter that she was the “most qualified candidate.”3

Two important lessons emerge. First, business communicators act as agents of their organizations. Their words, decisions, and opinions are assumed to represent

Abusive language becomes legally actionable when it is false, harmful to the person’s good name, and “published.”

Careless language includes statements that could be damaging or misinterpreted.

Avoid statements that make you feel good but may be misleading or inaccurate.

those of the organization. If you want to communicate your personal feelings or opinions, use your home computer or write on plain paper (rather than company letterhead) and sign your name without title or affiliation. Second, volunteering extra information can lead to trouble. Thus, avoid supplying data that could be misused, and avoid making promises that can’t be fulfilled. Don’t admit or imply responsibility for conditions that caused damage or injury. Even careless apologies (We are sorry that a faulty bottle cap caused damage to your carpet) may suggest liability.

Techniques for Delivering Bad News Sensitively

Legal matters aside, let us now study specific techniques for using the indirect pat- tern in sending bad-news messages. In this pattern the bad news is delayed until after explanations have been given. The four components of the indirect pattern, shown in Figure 7.2, include buffer, reasons, bad news, and closing.

Buffering the Opening A buffer is a device to reduce shock or pain. To buffer the pain of bad news, begin with a neutral but meaningful statement that makes the reader continue reading. The buffer should be relevant and concise and provide a natural transition to the explanation that follows. The individual situation, of course, will help determine what you should put in the buffer. Here are some possibilities for opening bad-news messages.

Best News. Start with the part of the message that represents the best news. For example, a message to workers announced new health plan rules limiting pre- scriptions to a 34-day supply and increasing co-payments. With home delivery, however, employees could save up to $24 on each prescription. To emphasize the good news, you might write, You can now achieve significant savings and avoid trips to the drugstore by having your prescription drugs delivered to your home.4

Compliment. Praise the receiver’s accomplishments, organization, or efforts, but do so with honesty and sincerity. For instance, in a letter declining an invitation to speak, you could write, The Thalians have my sincere admiration for their fund- raising projects on behalf of hungry children. I am honored that you asked me to speak Friday, November 5.

Use organizational stationery for offi cial business only, and beware of making promises that can’t be fulfi lled.

FIGURE 7.2

• Best news • Compliment • Appreciation • Agreement • Facts • Understanding • Apology

• Cautious explanation • Reader or other

benefits • Company policy

explanation • Positive words • Evidence that matter

was considered fairly and seriously

• Embedded placement

• Passive voice • Implied refusal • Compromise • Alternative

• Forward look • Information about

alternative • Good wishes • Freebies • Resale • Sales promotion

ClosingBad NewsReasonsBuffer

To reduce negative feelings, use a buffer opening for sensitive bad-news messages.

Openers can buffer the bad news with compliments, appreciation, agreement, relevant facts, and understanding.

Appreciation. Convey thanks to the reader for doing business, for sending something, for conveying confidence in your organization, for expressing feelings, or simply for providing feedback. Suppose you had to draft a letter that refuses employment. You could say, I appreciated learning about the hospitality manage- ment program at Cornell and about your qualifications in our interview last Friday. Avoid thanking the reader, however, for something you are about to refuse.

Agreement. Make a relevant statement with which both reader and receiver can agree. A letter that rejects a loan application might read, We both realize how much the export business has been affected by the relative weakness of the dollar in the past two years.

Facts. Provide objective information that introduces the bad news. For example, in a memo announcing cutbacks in the hours of the employees’ cafeteria, you might say, During the past five years the number of employees eating breakfast in our cafeteria has dropped from 32 percent to 12 percent.

Understanding. Show that you care about the reader. Notice how in this letter to customers announcing a product defect, the writer expresses concern: We know that you expect superior performance from all the products you purchase from OfficeCity. That’s why we are writing personally about the Exell printer cartridges you recently ordered.

Apologizing You learned about making apologies in adjustment letters discussed in Chapter 6. We expand that discussion here because apologies are often part of bad-news messages. The truth is that sincere apologies work. Peter Post, great grandson of famed etiquette expert Emily Post and director of the Emily Post Institute, said that Americans love apologies. They will forgive almost anything if presented with a sincere apology.5 An apology is defined as an “admission of blameworthiness and regret for an undesirable event.”6 Here are some tips on how to apologize effectively in business messages:

Apologies cost nothing, and they go a long way in soothing hard feelings. Use good judgment, of course. Don’t admit blame if it might prompt a lawsuit.

People dislike apologies that sound hollow (We regret that you were inconvenienced or We regret that you are disturbed). Focusing on your regret does not convey sincerity. Explaining what you will do to prevent recur- rence of the problem projects sincerity in an apology.

One CEO was criticized for the following weak apology: “I want our customers to know how much I personally regret any difficulties you may experience as a result of the unauthorized intrusion into our computer systems.” Experts faulted this apology because it did not acknowledge responsibility.7

Consider these poor and improved apologies:

We regret that you are unhappy with the price of ice cream pur- chased at one of our scoop shops.

We are genuinely sorry that you were disappointed in the price of ice cream recently purchased at one of our scoop shops. Your opinion is important to us, and we appreciate your giving us the opportunity to look into the problem you describe.

We apologize if anyone was affected.

I apologize for the frustration our delay caused you. As soon as I received your message, I began looking into the cause of the delay and real- ized that our delivery tracking system must be improved.

An apology is an admission of blameworthiness and regret for an undesirable event.

We are sorry that mistakes were made in filling your order.

You are right to be concerned. We sincerely apologize for the mistakes we made in filling your order. To prevent recurrence of this prob- lem, we are . . . .

Conveying Empathy One of the hardest things to do in apologies is to convey sympathy and empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and enter into the feelings of another. When ice storms trapped JetBlue Airways passengers on hot planes for hours, CEO Neeleman wrote a letter of apology that sounded as if it came from his heart. He said, “Dear JetBlue Customers: We are sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, we are deeply sorry.” Later in his letter he said, “Words cannot express how truly sorry we are for the anxiety, frustration, and inconvenience that you, your family, friends, and colleagues experienced.”8 Neeleman put himself into the shoes of his customers and tried to experience their pain.

Here are other examples of ways to express empathy in written messages:

In writing to an unhappy customer: We did not intentionally delay the shipment, and we sincerely regret the disappointment and frustration you must have suffered.

In laying off employees: It is with great regret that we must take this step. Rest assured that I will be more than happy to write letters of recommendation for anyone who asks.

In responding to a complaint: I am deeply saddened that our service failure dis- rupted your sale, and we will do everything in our power to . . . .

In showing genuine feelings: You have every right to be disappointed. I am truly sorry that . . . .

Presenting the Reasons The most important part of a bad-news letter is the section that explains why a negative decision is necessary. Without sound reasons for denying a request or refusing a claim, a letter will fail, no matter how cleverly it is organized or written. As part of your planning before writing, you analyzed the problem and decided to refuse a request for specific reasons. Before disclosing the bad news, try to explain those reasons. Providing an explanation reduces feelings of ill will and improves the chances that readers will accept the bad news.

Explaining Clearly. If the reasons are not confidential and if they will not create legal liability, you can be specific: Growers supplied us with a limited number of patio roses, and our demand this year was twice that of last year. In responding to a billing error, explain what happened: After you informed us of an error on your January bill, we investigated the matter and admit the mistake was ours. Until our new automated system is fully online, we are still subject to human error. Rest assured that your account has been credited as you will see on your next bill. In refusing a speaking engagement, tell why the date is impossible: On January 17 we have a board of directors meeting that I must attend. Don’t, however, make unreal- istic or dangerous statements in an effort to be the “good guy.”

Citing Reader or Other Benefits if Plausible. Readers are more open to bad news if in some way, even indirectly, it may help them. In refusing a customer’s request for free hemming of skirts and slacks, Lands’ End wrote: “We tested our ability to hem skirts a few months ago. This process proved to be very time-consuming. We have decided not to offer this service because the additional cost would have increased the selling price of our skirts substantially, and we did not want to impose that cost on all our customers.”9 Readers also accept bad news more readily if they recognize that someone or something else benefits, such as other workers or the environment: Although we would like to consider your application, we prefer to fill managerial positions from within. Avoid trying to show reader

Empathy involves understanding and entering into the feelings of someone else.

Bad-news messages should explain reasons before stating the negative news.

Readers accept bad news more readily if they see that someone benefi ts.

benefits, though, if they appear insincere: To improve our service to you, we are increasing our brokerage fees.

Explaining Company Policy. Readers resent blanket policy statements prohib- iting something: Company policy prevents us from making cash refunds or Contract bids may be accepted from local companies only or Company policy requires us to promote from within. Instead of hiding behind company policy, gently explain why the policy makes sense: We prefer to promote from within because it rewards the loyalty of our

employees. In addition, we have found that people familiar with our organization make the quickest contribution to our team effort. By offering explanations, you demonstrate that you care about readers and are treating them as important individuals.

Choosing Positive Words. Because the words you use can affect a reader’s response, choose carefully. Remember that the objective of the indirect pattern is holding the reader’s attention until you have had a chance to explain the reasons justifying the bad news. To keep the reader in a receptive mood, avoid expres- sions with punitive, demoralizing, or otherwise negative connota- tions. Stay away from such words as cannot, claim, denied, error, failure, fault, impossible, mistaken, misunderstand, never, regret, rejected, unable, unwilling, unfortunately, and violate.

Showing That the Matter Was Treated Seriously and Fairly. In explaining reasons, demonstrate to the reader that you take the matter seriously, have investigated carefully, and are making an unbiased decision. Receivers are more accepting of disappointing news when they feel that their requests have been heard and that they have been treated fairly. In canceling funding for a program, board members provided this explanation: As you know, the publication of Urban Artist was funded by a renewable annual grant from the National Endowment for the Arts. Recent cutbacks in federally sponsored city arts programs have left us with few funds. Because our grant has been discontinued, we have no alternative but to cease publication of Urban Artist. You have my assurance that the board has searched long and hard for some other viable funding, but every avenue of recourse has been closed before us. Accordingly, June’s issue will be our last.

“Dear Valued Customer: We’re sorry, but company policy forbids apologies. Sincerely yours...”

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The ChicoBag Company knows that it is not what you say but how you say it that matters. While some

environmental activists make strident calls to ban plastic bags that “hurt the earth,” the California-

based bag business takes a humorous approach to the issue. To illustrate the drawbacks of single-use

plastic bags, ChicoBag dispatches Bag Monsters to roam the streets in high-visibility locations, such as on the streets at Mardi Gras or in front of the White

House. The gimmicky-but-good-natured promotional effort helps the company sell its reusable nylon bags while muting the sometimes-negative tone

taken by other eco-minded organizations. Why is it important to accentuate the positive side of things?

Cushioning the Bad News Although you can’t prevent the disappointment that bad news brings, you can reduce the pain somewhat by breaking the news sensitively. Be especially considerate when the reader will suffer personally from the bad news. A number of thoughtful tech- niques can cushion the blow.

Positioning the Bad News Strategically. Instead of spotlighting it, sandwich the bad news between other sentences, perhaps among your reasons. Don’t let the refusal begin or end a paragraph—the reader’s eye will linger on these high- visibility spots. Another technique that reduces shock is putting a painful idea in a subordinate clause: Although another candidate was hired, we appreciate your inter- est in our organization and wish you every success in your job search. Subordinate clauses often begin with words such as although, as, because, if, and since.

Using the Passive Voice. Passive-voice verbs enable you to depersonalize an action. Whereas the active voice focuses attention on a person (We don’t give cash refunds), the passive voice highlights the action (Cash refunds are not given because . . .). Use the passive voice for the bad news. In some instances you can combine passive-voice verbs and a subordinate clause: Although franchise scoop shop owners cannot be required to lower their ice cream prices, we are happy to pass along your comments for their consideration.

Accentuating the Positive. As you learned earlier, messages are far more effective when you describe what you can do instead of what you can’t do. Rather than We will no longer allow credit card purchases, try a more positive appeal: We are now selling gasoline at discount cash prices.

Implying the Refusal. It is sometimes possible to avoid a direct statement of refusal. Often, your reasons and explanations leave no doubt that a request has been denied. Explicit refusals may be unnecessary and at times cruel. In this refusal to contrib- ute to a charity, for example, the writer never actually says no: Because we will soon be moving into new offices in Glendale, all our funds are earmarked for relocation costs. We hope that next year we will be able to support your worthwhile charity. The danger of an implied refusal, of course, is that it is so subtle that the reader misses it. Be certain that you make the bad news clear, thus preventing the need for further correspondence.

Suggesting a Compromise or an Alternative. A refusal is not so depressing—for the sender or the receiver—if a suitable compromise, substitute, or alternative is available. In denying permission to a group of students to visit a his- torical private residence, for instance, this writer softens the bad news by proposing an alternative: Although private tours of the grounds are not given, we do open the house and its gardens for one charitable event in the fall. You can further reduce the impact of the bad news by refusing to dwell on it. Present it briefly (or imply it), and move on to your closing.

Closing Pleasantly After explaining the bad news sensitively, close the mes- sage with a pleasant statement that promotes goodwill. The closing should be personalized and may include a forward look, an alternative, good wishes, freebies, resale informa- tion, or an off-the-subject remark.

Forward Look. Anticipate future relations or busi- ness. A letter that refuses a contract proposal might read: Thanks for your bid. We look forward to working with your talented staff when future projects demand your spe- cial expertise.

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WORKPLACE IN FOCUS

The ChicoBag Company knows that it is not what you say but how you say it that matters. While some

environmental activists make strident calls to ban plastic bags that “hurt the earth,” the California-

based bag business takes a humorous approach to the issue. To illustrate the drawbacks of single-use

plastic bags, ChicoBag dispatches Bag Monsters to roam the streets in high-visibility locations, such as on the streets at Mardi Gras or in front of the White

House. The gimmicky-but-good-natured promotional effort helps the company sell its reusable nylon bags while muting the sometimes-negative tone

taken by other eco-minded organizations. Why is it important to accentuate the positive side of things?

Techniques for cushioning bad news include positioning it strategically, using the passive voice, implying the refusal, and suggesting alternatives or compromises.

“Send him our toughest refusal letter, threaten him with legal action, and don’t pull the punches. But put XOXOXO under my signature to show that we still love him as a customer.”

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Alternative Follow-Up. If an alternative exists, end your letter with follow- through advice. For example, in a letter rejecting a customer’s demand for replacement of landscaping plants, you might say: I will be happy to give you a free inspection and consultation. Please call 746-8112 to arrange a date for my visit. In a message to a prospective home buyer: Although the lot you saw last week is now sold, we do have two lots with excellent views available at a slightly higher price. In reacting to an Internet misprint: Please note that our Web site contained an unfortunate misprint offering $850-per-night Bora Bora bungalows at $85. Although we cannot honor that rate, we are offering a special half-price rate of $425 to those who responded.

Good Wishes. A letter rejecting a job candidate might read: We appreciate your interest in our company, and we extend to you our best wishes in your search to find the perfect match between your skills and job requirements.

Freebies. When customers complain—primarily about food products or small consumer items—companies often send coupons, samples, or gifts to restore confi- dence and to promote future business. In response to a customer’s complaint about a frozen dinner, you could write: Your loyalty and your concern about our frozen entrees are genuinely appreciated. Because we want you to continue enjoying our healthful and convenient dinners, we are enclosing a coupon that you can take to your local market to select your next Green Valley entree.

Resale or Sales Promotion. When the bad news is not devastating or personal, references to resale information or promotion may be appropriate: The computer workstations you ordered are unusually popular because of their stain-, heat-, and scratch-resistant finishes. To help you locate hard-to-find accessories for these workstations, we invite you to visit our Web site where our online catalog pro- vides a huge selection of surge suppressors, multiple outlet strips, security devices, and PC tool kits.

Avoid endings that sound canned, insincere, inappropriate, or self-serving. Don’t invite further correspondence (If you have any questions, do not hesitate . . .), and don’t refer to the bad news. To review these suggestions for delivering bad news sensitively, take another look at Figure 7.2.

Refusing Direct Requests and Claims

Every business communicator will occasionally have to say no to a request. Depend- ing on how you think the receiver will react to your refusal, you can use the direct or the indirect pattern. If you have any doubt, use the indirect pattern and the following writing plan:

Writing Plan for Refusing Routine Requests and Claims Start with a neutral statement on which both reader and writer

can agree, such as a compliment, appreciation, a quick review of the facts, or an apology. Try to include a key idea or word that acts as a transition to the reasons.

Present valid reasons for the refusal, avoiding words that create a negative tone. Include resale or sales promotion material if appropriate.

Soften the blow by de-emphasizing the bad news, using the passive voice, accentuating the positive, or implying a refusal. Suggest a compromise, alternative, or substitute if possible. The alternative may be part of the bad-news section or part of the closing.

Renew good feelings with a positive statement. Avoid referring to the bad news. Look forward to continued business.

Closings to bad-news messages might include a forward look, an alternative, good wishes, freebies, resale information, or sales promotion.

Rejecting Typical Requests Most of us prefer to be let down gently when we are being refused something we want. That’s why the reasons-before-refusal pattern works well when you must turn down requests for favors, money, information, action, and so forth.

Saying No to Requests From Outsiders. Requests for contributions to charity are common. Many big and small companies receive requests for con- tributions of money, time, equipment, and support. Although the causes may be worthy, resources are usually limited. In a letter from Huron Architectural Services, shown in Figure 7.3, the company must refuse a request for a donation to a charity. Following the indirect strategy, the letter begins with a buffer acknowledging the request. It also praises the good works of the charity and uses those words as a tran- sition to the second paragraph. In the second paragraph the writer explains why the company cannot donate. Notice that the writer reveals the refusal without actually

FIGURE 7.3

The reasons-before- refusal pattern works well when turning down requests for favors, money, information, or action.

stating it (Because of sales declines and organizational downsizing, we are forced to take a much harder look at funding requests that we receive this year). This gentle refusal makes it unnecessary to be more blunt in stating the denial.

In some donation refusal letters, the reasons may not be fully explained: Although we can’t provide financial support at this time, we all unanimously agree that the symphony orchestra contributes much to the community. The emphasis is on the symphony’s attributes rather than on an explanation for the refusal. In the letter shown in Figure 7.3, the writer felt a connection to the charity. Thus, he wanted to give a fuller explanation.

Refusing Internal Requests. Just as managers must refuse requests from outsiders, they must also occasionally refuse requests from employees. In Figure 7.4 you see the first draft and revision of a message responding to a request from a key specialist, Zachary Stapleton. He wants permission to attend a conference. However, he can’t attend the conference because the timing is bad; he must be pres- ent at budget planning meetings scheduled for the same two weeks. Normally, this matter would be discussed in person. But Zach has been traveling among branch offices, and he hasn’t been in the office recently.

The vice president’s first inclination was to send a quickie memo, as shown in Figure 7.4, and “tell it like it is.” In revising, the vice president realized that this message was going to hurt and that it had possible danger areas. Moreover, the memo misses a chance to give Zach positive feedback. An improved version of the memo starts with a buffer that delivers honest praise (pleased with your excep- tional leadership and your genuine professional commitment). By the way, don’t be stingy with compliments; they cost you nothing. As a philosopher once observed, “We don’t live by bread alone. We need buttering up once in a while.” The buffer also includes the date of the meeting, used strategically to connect the reasons that follow. You will recall from Chapter 3 that repetition of a key idea is an effective transitional device to provide smooth flow between components of a message.

The middle paragraph provides reasons for the refusal. Notice that these reasons focus on positive elements: Zach is the specialist; the company relies on his expertise; and everyone will benefit if he passes up the conference. In this section it becomes obvious that the request will be refused. The writer is not forced to say, No, you may not attend. Although the refusal is implied, the reader gets the message.

The closing suggests a qualified alternative (if our workloads permit, we will try to send you then). It also ends positively with gratitude for Zach’s contributions to the organization and with another compliment (you are our most valuable team player). Notice that the improved version focuses on explanations and praise rather than on refusals and apologies.

The success of this message depends on attention to the entire writing process, not just on using a buffer or scattering a few compliments throughout.

Delivering Bad News to Customers

Businesses must occasionally respond to disappointed customers. In Chapter 6 you learned to use the direct strategy in granting claims and making adjustments because these are essentially good-news messages. In some situations, however, you have little good news to share. Sometimes your company is at fault, in which case an apology is generally in order. Other times the problem is with orders you can’t fill, claims you must refuse, or credit you must deny. Messages with bad news for customers generally follow the same pattern as other negative messages. Customer letters, though, differ in one major way: they usually include resale or sales promotion information.

Damage Control: Dealing With Disappointed Customers All companies occasionally disappoint their customers. Merchandise is not deliv- ered on time, a product fails to perform as expected, service is deficient, charges

Internal request refusals focus on explanations and praise, maintaining a positive tone, and offering alternatives.

are erroneous, or customers are misunderstood. All businesses offering products or services must sometimes deal with troublesome situations that cause unhappiness to customers. Whenever possible, these problems should be dealt with immediately and personally. Many business professionals strive to control the damage and resolve such problems in the following manner:10

Call the individual involved. Describe the problem and apologize.

FIGURE 7.4

When a customer problem arises and the company is at fault, many businesspeople call and apologize, explain what happened, and follow up with a goodwill letter.

Explain why the problem occurred, what you are doing to resolve it, and how you will prevent it from happening again.

Follow up with a letter that documents the phone call and promotes goodwill.

Dealing with problems immediately is very important in resolving conflict and retaining goodwill. Written correspondence is generally too slow for problems that demand immediate attention. But written messages are important (a) when personal contact is impossible, (b) to establish a record of the incident, (c) to formally con- firm follow-up procedures, and (d) to promote good relations.

A bad-news follow-up letter is shown in Figure 7.5. Consultant Catherine Martinez found herself in the embarrassing position of explaining why she had given out the name of her client to a salesperson. The client, Alliance Resources International, had

FIGURE 7.5

hired her firm, Paragon Consulting Associates, to help find an appropriate service for outsourcing its payroll functions. Without realizing it, Catherine had mentioned to a potential vendor (Payroll Services, Inc.) that her client was considering hiring an outside service to handle its payroll. An overeager salesperson from Payroll Services immediately called on Alliance, thus angering the client. The client had hired the consultant to avoid this very kind of intrusion. Alliance did not want to be hounded by vendors selling their payroll services.

When she learned of the problem, the first thing consultant Catherine Martinez did was call her client to explain and apologize. She was careful to control her voice and rate of speaking. A low-pitched, deliberate pace gives the impression that you are thinking clearly, logically, and reasonably—not emo- tionally and certainly not irrationally. However, she also followed up with the letter shown in Figure 7.5. The letter not only confirms the telephone conversa- tion but also adds the right touch of formality. It sends the nonverbal message that the writer takes the matter seriously and that it is important enough to warrant a written letter.

Denying Claims Customers occasionally want something they are not entitled to or something you can’t grant. They may misunderstand warranties or make unreasonable demands. Because these customers are often unhappy with a product or service, they are emo- tionally involved. Letters that say no to emotionally involved receivers will prob- ably be your most challenging communication task. As publisher Malcolm Forbes observed, “To be agreeable while disagreeing—that’s an art.”11

Fortunately, the reasons-before-refusal plan helps you be empathic and artful in breaking bad news. Obviously, in denial letters you will need to adopt the proper tone. Don’t blame customers, even if they are at fault. Avoid you statements that sound preachy (You would have known that cash refunds are impossible if you had read your contract). Use neutral, objective language to explain why the claim must be refused. Consider offering resale information to rebuild the customer’s confidence in your products or organization. In Figure 7.6 on page 176 the writer denies a customer’s claim for the difference between the price the customer paid for speakers and the price he saw advertised locally (which would have resulted in a cash refund of $200). Although the catalog service does match any advertised lower price, the price-matching policy applies only to identical models. This claim must be rejected because the advertisement the customer submitted showed a different, older speaker model.

The letter to Cedrick Mandela opens with a buffer that agrees with a statement in the customer’s letter. It repeats the key idea of product confidence as a transition to the second paragraph. Next comes an explanation of the price-matching policy. The writer does not assume that the customer is trying to pull a fast one. Nor does he suggest that the customer is a dummy who didn’t read or understand the price- matching policy. The safest path is a neutral explanation of the policy along with precise distinctions between the customer’s speakers and the older ones. The writer also gets a chance to resell the customer’s speakers and demonstrate what a quality product they are. By the end of the third paragraph, it is evident to the reader that his claim is unjustified.

Refusing Credit As much as companies want business, they can extend credit only when payment is likely to follow. Credit applications, from individuals or from businesses, are gener- ally approved or disapproved on the basis of the applicant’s credit history. This record is supplied by a credit-reporting agency, such as Experian, Equifax, or TransUnion. After reviewing the applicant’s record, a credit manager applies the organization’s guidelines and approves or disapproves the application.

If you must deny credit to prospective customers, you have four goals in convey- ing the refusal:

In denying claims, writers use the reasons-before-refusal pattern to set an empathic tone and buffer the bad news.

OFFICE INSIDER

Avoid language that causes hard feelings. Retain customers on a cash basis. Prepare for possible future credit without raising false expectations. Avoid disclosures that could cause a lawsuit.

Because credit applicants are likely to continue to do business with an organi zation even if they are denied credit, you will want to do everything possible to encourage that patronage. Thus, keep the refusal respectful, sensitive, and upbeat. A letter to a customer denying her credit application might begin as follows: We genuinely appre- ciate your application of January 12 for a Mod Style credit account. To avoid possible litigation, many companies offer no explanation of the reasons for a credit refusal. Instead, they provide the name of the credit-reporting agency and suggest that inqui- ries be directed to it. In the following example notice the use of passive voice (credit cannot be extended) and a long sentence to de-emphasize the bad news:

FIGURE 7.6

Goals when refusing credit include maintaining customer goodwill and avoiding actionable language.

After we received a report of your current credit record from Experian, it is apparent that credit cannot be extended at this time. To learn more about your record, you may call an Experian credit counselor at (212) 356-0922.

A cordial closing looks forward to the possibility of a future reapplication:

Thanks, Ms. Love, for the confidence you have shown in Mod Style. We invite you to continue shopping at our stores, and we look forward to your reapplica- tion in the future.

Some businesses do provide reasons explaining credit denials (Credit cannot be granted because your firm’s current and long-term credit obligations are nearly twice as great as your firm’s total assets). They may also provide alternatives, such as deferred billing or cash discounts. When the letter denies a credit application that accompanies an order, the message may contain resale information. The writer tries to convert the order from credit to cash. For example, if a big order cannot be filled on a credit basis, perhaps part of the order could be filled on a cash basis. Whatever form the bad-news letter takes, it is a good idea to have the message reviewed by legal counsel because of the litigation land mines awaiting unwary communicators in this area.

Delivering Bad News Within Organizations

A tactful tone and a reasons-first approach help preserve friendly relations with cus- tomers. These same techniques are useful when delivering bad news within organi- zations. Interpersonal bad news might involve telling the boss that something went wrong or confronting an employee about poor performance. Organizational bad news might involve declining profits, lost contracts, harmful lawsuits, public rela- tions controversies, and changes in policy. Whether you use a direct or an indirect pattern in delivering that news depends primarily on the anticipated reaction of the audience. Generally, bad news is better received when reasons are given first. Within organizations, you may find yourself giving bad news in person or in writing.

Giving Bad News Personally Whether you are an employee or a supervisor, you may have the unhappy respon- sibility of delivering bad news. First, decide whether the negative information is newsworthy. For example, trivial, noncriminal mistakes or one-time bad behaviors are best left alone. However, fraudulent travel claims, consistent hostile behavior, or failing projects must be reported.12 For example, you might have to tell the boss that the team’s computer crashed with all its important files. As a team leader or supervisor, you might be required to confront an underperforming employee. If you know that the news will upset the receiver, the reasons-first strategy is most effec- tive. When the bad news involves one person or a small group nearby, you should generally deliver that news in person. Here are pointers on how to do so tactfully, professionally, and safely:13

Cool down and have all the facts before marching in on the boss or confronting someone. Remember that every story has two sides.

Outline what you plan to say so that you are confident, coherent, and dispassionate.

If you are telling the boss about a problem such as the computer crash, explain what caused the crash, the current situation, and how and when you plan to fix it.

If you fear a “shoot the messenger” reaction, espe- cially from your boss, bring a colleague with you. Each person should have a consistent and credible part in the presentation. If possible, take advantage of your organization’s internal resources. To lend credibility to your view, call on auditors, inspectors, or human resources experts.

Bad news, whether delivered in person or in writing, is usually better received when reasons are given fi rst.

When you must deliver bad news in person, be sure to gather all the information, prepare, and rehearse.

Don’t deliver bad news when someone is already stressed or grumpy. Experts also advise against giving bad news on Friday afternoon when people have the weekend to dwell on it.

Give the receiver time to vent, think, recover, and act wisely.

Delivering Workplace Bad News Many of the same techniques used to deliver bad news personally are useful when organizations face a crisis or must deliver bad news in the workplace. Smart orga- nizations involved in a crisis prefer to communicate the news openly to employees, customers, and stockholders. A crisis might involve serious performance problems, a major relocation, massive layoffs, a management shake-up, or public controversy. Instead of letting rumors distort the truth, they explain the organization’s side of the story honestly and early. Morale can be destroyed when employees learn of major events affecting their jobs through the grapevine or from news accounts—rather than from management.

When bad news must be delivered to employees, management may want to deliver the news personally. With large groups, however, this is generally impos- sible. Instead, organizations may deliver bad news through interoffice memos. Organizations are experimenting with other delivery channels such as e-mail, videos, webcasts, and voice mail. Still, hard-copy interoffice memos seem to function most effectively because they are more formal and make a permanent record. The follow- ing writing plan outlines the content for such a message:

Writing Plan for Announcing Bad News to Employees Open with a neutral or positive statement that transitions to the

reasons for the bad news. Consider mentioning the best news, a compli- ment, appreciation, agreement, or solid facts. Show understanding.

Explain the logic behind the bad news. Provide a rational expla- nation using positive words and displaying empathy. If possible, mention reader benefits.

Position the bad news so that it does not stand out. Be positive but don’t sugarcoat the bad news. Use objective language.

Provide information about an alternative, if one exists. If appro- priate, describe what will happen next. Look forward positively.

The draft of the memo shown in Figure 7.7 announces a substantial increase in the cost of employee health care benefits. However, the memo suffers from many problems. It announces jolting news bluntly in the first sentence. Worse, it offers little or no explanation for the steep increase in costs. It also sounds insincere (We did everything possible . . .) and arbitrary. In a final miscue, the writer fails to give credit to the company for absorbing previous health cost increases.

In the revision of this bad-news memo, the writer uses the indirect pattern and improves the tone considerably. Notice that it opens with a relevant, upbeat buffer regarding health care—but says nothing about increasing costs. For a smooth transi- tion, the second paragraph begins with a key idea from the opening (comprehensive package). The reasons section discusses rising costs with explanations and figures. The bad news (you will be paying $119 a month) is clearly presented but embedded within the paragraph. Throughout, the writer strives to show the fairness of the company’s position. The ending, which does not refer to the bad news, emphasizes how much the company is paying and what a wise investment it is. Notice that the entire memo demonstrates a kinder, gentler approach than that shown in the first draft. Of prime importance in breaking bad news to employees is providing clear, convincing reasons that explain the decision.

Organizations can sustain employee morale by communicating bad news openly and honestly.

Ethics and the Indirect Strategy

You may worry that the indirect organizational strategy is unethical or manipula- tive because the writer deliberately delays the main idea. But consider the alterna- tive. Breaking bad news bluntly can cause pain and hard feelings. By delaying bad news, you soften the blow somewhat, as well as ensure that your reasoning will be read while the receiver is still receptive. One expert communicator recognized the significance of the indirect strategy when she said, “People must believe the reasons why before they will listen to the details of what and when.”14 In using the indirect

FIGURE 7.7

strategy, your motives are not to deceive the reader or to hide the news. Rather, your goal is to be a compassionate, yet effective communicator.

The key to ethical communication lies in the motives of the sender. Unethical communicators intend to deceive. For example, Victoria’s Secret, the clothing and lingerie chain, once offered free $10 gift certificates. However, when customers tried to cash the certificates, they found that they were required to make a minimum pur- chase of $50 worth of merchandise.15 For this misleading, deceptive, and unethical offer, the chain paid a $100,000 fine. Although the indirect strategy provides a set- ting in which to announce bad news, it should not be used to avoid or misrepresent the truth.

The indirect strategy is unethical only if the writer intends to deceive the reader.

SSSumming Up and Looking Forward When faced with delivering bad news, you have a choice. You can announce it immediately, or you can delay it by presenting a buffer and reasons first. Many business com- municators prefer the indirect strategy because it tends to preserve goodwill. In some instances, however, the direct strategy is effective in delivering bad news. In this chapter you learned the goals in communicating bad news and how to avoid creating legal problems. You studied many tech- niques for delivering bad news sensitively. Then, you learned to apply those techniques in refusing requests from outsiders

(routine requests for favors, money, information, and action) as well as refusing internal requests. You studied techniques for breaking bad news to customers, denying claims, refus- ing credit, and delivering bad news to employees. Finally, you were taught to distinguish unethical applications of the indirect strategy.

Thus far you have studied electronic messages, memo- randums, positive messages, and negative messages. In the next chapter you will learn to be persuasive, a powerful skill for any business communicator.

CCCritical Thinking 1. Does bad news travel faster and farther than good news?

Why? What implications would this have for companies responding to unhappy customers?

2. Some people feel that all employee news, good or bad, should be announced directly. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

3. Consider times when you have been aware that others have used the indirect pattern in writing or speaking to you. How did you react?

4. When Boeing Aircraft reported that a laptop containing the names, salary information, and social security numbers of 382,000 employees had been stolen from an employee’s car, CEO Jim McNerney wrote this e-mail to employees: “I’ve received many e-mails over the past 24 hours from employees expressing disappointment, frustration, and downright anger about yesterday’s announcement of

personal information belonging to thousands of employ- ees and retirees being on a stolen computer. I’m just as disappointed as you are about it. I know that many of us feel that this data loss amounts to a betrayal of the trust we place in the company to safeguard our personal infor- mation. I certainly do.” Critics have faulted this apology. With what did they find fault? Do you agree?

5. You work for a large corporation with head- quarters in a small town. Recently you received shoddy repair work and a huge bill from a local garage. Your car’s transmission has the same problems that it did before you took it in for repair. You know that a complaint letter writ- ten on your corporation’s stationery would be much more authoritative than one written on plain stationery. Should you use corporation stationery?

Chapter Review

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6. What are the writer’s primary and secondary goals in communicating bad news?

7. Describe the four parts of the indirect message pattern.

8. Name five situations in which the direct pattern should be used for bad news.

9. What is the difference between libel and slander?

10. What is a buffer? Name five or more techniques to buffer the opening of a bad-news message.

11. What is an apology? When should an apology be offered to customers?

12. Name four or more techniques that cushion the delivery of bad news.

13. Why is it a good idea to rehearse and also to take a partner when delivering bad news in person to a superior?

Summing Up and Looking Forward

Critical Thinking

CCChapter Review

14. Identify a process used by a majority of business professionals in resolving problems with disappointed customers.

15. What are some channels that large organizations may use when delivering bad news to employees?

WWWriting Improvement Exercises Passive-voice verbs may be preferable in breaking bad news because they enable you to emphasize actions rather than personalities. Compare these two refusals:

Revise the following refusals so that they use passive-voice instead of active-voice verbs. 16. We will no longer be accepting credit cards for purchases under $5.

17. Our hospital policy forbids us from examining patients until we have verified their insurance coverage.

18. We cannot offer health and dental benefits until employees have been on the job for 12 months.

19. The manager and I have made arrangements for the investors to have lunch after the tour.

20. Your car rental insurance does not cover large SUVs.

21. Because management now requires more stringent security, we are postponing indefinitely requests for company tours.

You can further soften the effect of bad news by placing it in an introductory subordinate clause that begins with although, since, or because. The emphasis in a sentence is on the independent clause. Instead of saying We cannot serve you on a credit basis, try Although we cannot serve you on a credit basis, we invite you to take advantage of our cash discounts and sale prices. Revise the following so that the bad news is de-emphasized in a dependent clause that precedes an independent clause. 22. We are sorry to report that we are unable to ship your complete order at this point in time. However,

we are able to send two corner workstations now; you should receive them within five days.

Writing Improvement Cases

23. Unfortunately, we no longer print a complete catalog. However, we now offer all of our catalog choices at our Web site, which is always current.

24. We appreciate your interest in our organization, but we are unable to extend an employment offer to you at this time.

25. State law does not allow smoking within 5 feet of a state building. But the college has set aside 16 outdoor smoking areas.

Bad news can be de-emphasized by implying a refusal instead of stating it directly. Compare these refusals:

Revise the following refusals so that the bad news is implied. If possible, use passive-voice verbs and subordinate clauses to further de-emphasize the bad news. 26. We cannot ship our fresh fruit baskets c.o.d. Your order was not accompanied by payment, so we

are not shipping it. We have it ready, though, and will rush it to its destination as soon as you call us with your credit card number.

27. Unfortunately, we find it impossible to contribute to the fund-raising campaign this year. At present all the funds of my organization are needed to lease new equipment and offices for our latest branch in Richmond. We hope to be able to support this endeavor in the future.

28. Your team cannot schedule a retreat for the week of May 15. Too many staffers will be working on the Osgood Project, which will not be completed until June 1.

Writing Improvement Exercises

WWWriting Improvement Cases The following poorly written letter refuses a request from a reporter seeking salary information about top sales performers for an article.

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.

Current date

Ms. Emily Decker 2415 Jefferson Road Rochester, NY 14623

Dear Ms. Decker:

We cannot release salary information because such disclosure would violate our employees’ privacy and lead to lawsuits. However, the article you are researching for Business Management Weekly sounds fascinating and will be most interesting to

its readers. As a matter of fact, we are flattered that you wish to include LaserScope. You may be interested to know that we have many outstanding young salespeople—some are male and some are female—who command top salaries.

I cannot reveal private employee information because each of our salespeople operate under an individual salary contract. This is a result of salary negotiations several years ago. During those negotiations an agreement was reached that both sales staff members and management were in agreement to keep the terms of these individual contracts confidential. For obvious reasons, we cannot release specific salaries and commission rates. It has been suggested, however, that we can provide you with a list that is a ranking of our top salespeople for a period of the past five years. As a matter of fact, three of the top salespeople are currently under the age of thirty-five.

We are sorry that we cannot help you more with your fascinating research. Enclosed is a fact sheet in regard to our top salespeople, and we wish you every success with your article. It would be terrific to see LaserScope represented in it. Do not hesitate to call me if you have any questions.

Cordially,

1. List at least five weaknesses in this letter.

2. Outline a writing plan for a request refusal:

The following letter refuses a consumer request for warranty service of a scuba diving computer used to monitor diving and decompression time.

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.

Current date

Ms. Monica Soto 430 Bayou Vista Boulevard Galveston, TX 77551

Dear Ms. Soto:

It is impossible for us to calibrate your Scuba Max XL diving computer, as requested in your letter which I have before me.

You acknowledge that you have used the product successfully off the Barrier Reefs in Australia and that you like its compact size and easy-to-read digits telling you exactly how much air time remains. Unfortunately, your letter does not include an important piece of information. We do not know whether you purchased this product from one of our authorized dealers. You can call 1-800-439-4509 to find out.

Our most popular products are the Scuba Max, Aqua Lung, and Atomic Aquatics. They come with 24-month warranties. However, we have a policy that states very clearly that these products must be sold through authorized dealers. This is the only way we can be sure that customers receive proper presale and postsale assistance. If our products are sold through authorized dealers, we can restrict their use to trained and certified divers.

We regret that we cannot approve your request to calibrate this product.

Sincerely,

1. List at least five weaknesses in this refusal letter.

2. Outline a plan for writing a refusal to a request.

Following is a letter to a customer who demanded that a burned-out clothes dryer motor be replaced at no charge.

Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and then outline an appropriate writing plan. If your instructor directs, revise the message. A copy of this message is provided at for revision online.

Current date

Ms. Kadence Larios 3591 Allen Avenue Baton Rouge, LA 70809

Dear Ms. Larios:

This letter is being sent to you to inform you that warranty repairs are not available for damage caused by operator error. The motor on your clothes dryer burned out because the lint filter was full, thus clogging and overheating the motor.

After you called in your complaint, we had our service technician, Bryce Grindell, make an inspection. That’s when he made the discovery that your lint filter was not being taken care of properly. Mr. Grindell said he had never seen such a clogged lint filter, and that without a doubt it caused the motor circuitry to overheat and then burn out. You are lucky it did not cause a house fire.

NewDay Harmony dryers get rave reviews from users. They talk about its large capacity, fast drying times, and antibacterial cycle. However, the warranty on your NewDay Harmony clothes dryer covers only these things: manufacturing defects or improper installation by us. As far as we can tell, the dryer had no defects and we know it was installed properly. We can’t replace the motor at no charge. But we could install a reconditioned motor, at a cost of $99. Or we could bring you a new motor at $189. If you decide to go this route, we would only charge you as a continuing service call at $65 instead of the full rate of $130.

Let us know what you want to do.

Sincerely,

1. List at least five weaknesses in this letter.

2. Outline a plan for writing a refusal to a request.

AAActivities and Cases E-MAIL

As the manager of the Reprographics Department, you have been asked by two staff engineers for a copy of the latest ver- sion of Adobe Photoshop. This is an expensive licensed software program that your employees use. The engineers want it for home use. You know it is against the law to do this, and you understand why. Software companies would go out of business if they sold a program and it was copied by many others. Your Adobe software contract allowed you to install the updated version of Photoshop on one server and use it with up to five employees in this networked office. You would be breaking the contract and the law to let the program be copied. You wouldn’t mind showing people how your department uses it, but you can’t let the program be copied.

Send an e-mail message to [email protected] and [email protected] refusing their requests and explain- ing why you cannot allow them to copy your updated version of Adobe Photoshop.

In an aggressive expansion effort, Jamba Juice became a good customer of your software company. You have enjoyed the business it brought, and you are also quite fond of its products—especially Banana Berry and Mega Mango smoothies. Jamba Inc. is in the midst of expanding its menu with the goal of becoming the Starbucks of the smoothie. “Just as Starbucks defined the category of coffee, Jamba has the opportunity to define the category of the healthy snack,” said analyst Brian Moore.16 One goal of Jamba is to boost the frequency of customer visits by offering some products that are more filling. Then it could attract hungry customers as well as thirsty ones. It was experimenting with adding grains such as oatmeal or nuts such as almonds so that a smoothie packs more substance and could substitute for a meal.

You receive a letter from Joe Wong, your business friend and contact at Jamba Juice. He asks you to do him and Jamba Juice a favor. He wants to set up a juice tasting bar in your company cafeteria to test his new experimental drinks. All the drinks would be free, of course, but employees would have to fill out forms to evaluate each recipe. The details could be worked out later.

You definitely support healthy snacks, but you think this idea is terrible. First of all, your company doesn’t even have a cafeteria. It has a small lunch room, and employees bring their own food. Secondly, you would be embarrassed to ask your boss to do this favor for Jamba Juice, despite the business it has brought your company.

Write a letter that retains good customer relations with Jamba Juice but refuses this request. What reasons can you give, and what alternatives are available? Address your message to Joe Wong, Vice President, Product Development, Jamba Inc., 450 Golden Gate Avenue, San Francisco, 94102.

The world’s largest cruise line finds itself in a difficult position. Carnival climbed to the No. 1 spot by promoting fun at sea and pitching its appeal to younger customers who were drawn to on-board discos, swim-up bars, and hassle-free partying. But apparently the partying of high school and college students went too far. Roving bands of teens had virtually taken over some cruises in recent years. Travel agents complained of “drunken, loud behavior,” as reported by Mike Driscall, editor of Cruise Week.

To crack down, Carnival raised the drinking age from 18 to 21 and required more chaperoning of school groups. Young individual travelers, however, were still unruly and disruptive. Thus, Carnival instituted a new policy, effective immediately. No one under 21 may travel unless accompanied by an adult over 25. Says Vicki Freed, Carnival’s vice president for market- ing, “We will turn them back at the docks, and they will not get refunds.” As Eric Rivera, a Carnival marketing manager, you must respond to the inquiry of Sheryl Kiklas of All-World Travel, a New York travel agency that features special spring- and summer-break packages for college and high school students.

All-World Travel has been one of Carnival’s best customers. However, Carnival no longer wants to encourage unaccom- panied young people. You must refuse the request of Ms. Kiklas to help set up student tour packages. Carnival discourages even chaperoned tours. Its real market is now family packages. You must write to All-World Travel and break the bad news. Try to promote fun-filled, carefree cruises destined for sunny, exotic ports of call that remove guests from the stresses of

everyday life. By the way, Carnival attracts more passengers than any other cruise line—over a million people a year from all over the world. Over 98 percent of Carnival’s guests say that they were well satisfied. Tell her you will call during the week of January 5 to help her plan special family tour packages.17

Write your letter to Sheryl Kiklas, All-World Travel Agency, 440 East Broadway, New York, NY 10014. Send her a schedule for spring and summer Caribbean cruises.

WEB

As the owner of Peachtree Business Plaza, you must respond to the request of Michael Vazquez, one of the tenants in your three-story office building. Mr. Vazquez, a CPA, demands that you immediately evict a neighboring tenant who plays loud music throughout the day, interfering with Mr. Vazquez’s conversations with clients and with his concentration. The noisy tenant, Anthony Chomko, seems to operate an entertainment booking agency and spends long hours in his office. You know you can’t evict Mr. Chomko because, as a legal commercial tenant, he is entitled to conduct his business. However, you might consider adding soundproofing, an expense that you would prefer to share with Mr. Chomko and Mr. Vazquez. You might also discuss limiting the time of day that Mr. Chomko could make noise.

Before responding to Mr. Vazquez, you decide to find out more about commercial tenancy. Use databases and the Web to search the keywords commercial eviction. Then develop a course of action.

In writing to Mr. Vazquez, deny his request but retain his goodwill. Tell him how you plan to resolve the problem. Write to Michael Vazquez, CPA, Suite 230, Peachtree Business Plaza, 116 Krog Street, Atlanta, GA 30307. Your instructor may also ask you to write an appropriate message to Mr. Anthony Chomko, Suite 225.

American Southern Airline (ASA) had an unhappy customer. Leticia Tomlinson flew from Atlanta to Seattle. The flight stopped briefly at Chicago O’Hare, where she got off the plane for half an hour. When she returned to her seat, her $400 prescription reading glasses were gone. She asked the flight attendant where the glasses were, and the attendant said they probably were thrown away since the cleaning crew had come in with big bags and tossed everything in them. Ms. Tomlinson tried to locate the glasses through the airline’s lost-and-found service, but she failed. Then she wrote a strong letter to the airline demanding reimbursement for the loss. She felt that it was obvious that she was returning to her seat. The airline, however, knows that an overwhelming number of passengers arriving at hubs switch planes for their connecting flights. The airline does not know who is returning. What’s more, flight attendants usually announce that the plane is continuing to another city and that passengers who are returning should take their belongings. Cabin-cleaning crews speed through planes removing newspapers, magazines, leftover foods, and trash. Airlines feel no responsibility for personal items left in cabins. The airline never refunds cash, but it might consider travel vouchers for the value of the glasses.18

As a staff member of the customer relations department of American Southern Airline, deny the customer’s claim but retain her goodwill using techniques learned in this chapter. Remember that apologies cost nothing. Write a claim denial to Mrs. Leticia Tomlinson, 1952 Kanako Lane, Mount Vernon, WA 98273.

Who wouldn’t want a cashmere zip turtleneck sweater for $18? At the J. Crew Web site, many delighted shoppers scrambled to order the bargain cashmere. Unfortunately, the price should have been $218! Before J. Crew officials could correct the mistake, several hundred e-shoppers had bagged the bargain sweater for their digital shopping carts.

When the mistake was discovered, J. Crew immediately sent an e-mail message to the soon-to-be disappointed shop- pers. The subject line shouted “Big Mistake!” The first line began with this statement: “I wish we could sell such an amazing sweater for only $18. Our price mistake on your new cashmere zip turtleneck probably went right by you, but rather than charge you such a large difference, I’m writing to alert you that this item has been removed from your recent order.”

As an assistant in the communication department at J. Crew, you saw the e-mail message that was sent to customers and you tactfully suggested that the bad news might have been broken differently. Your boss says, “OK, hot stuff. Give it your best shot.”

Although you have only a portion of the message, analyze the customer bad-news message sent by J. Crew. Using the principles suggested in this chapter, write an improved e-mail message. In the end, J. Crew decided to allow customers who ordered the sweater at $18 to reorder it for $118.80 to $130.80, depending on the size. Customers were given a special Web site to reorder (make up an address). Remember that J. Crew customers are youthful and hip. Keep your message upbeat.19

WEB

In a recent trip to her local grocery store, Kelly Keeler decided for the first time to stock up on PowerBars. These are low-fat, high-carbohydrate energy bars that are touted as a highly nutritious snack food specially formulated to deliver long- lasting energy. Since 1986, PowerBar ( ) has been dedicated to helping athletes and active people

Activities and Cases

achieve peak performance. It claims to be “the fuel of choice” for top athletes around the world. Kelly is a serious runner and participates in many track meets every year.

On her way to a recent meet, Kelly grabbed a PowerBar and unwrapped it while driving. As she started to take her first bite, she noticed something white and shiny in the corner of the wrapping. An unexpected protein source wriggled out of her energy bar—a worm! Kelly’s first inclination was to toss it out the window and never buy another PowerBar. On sec- ond thought, though, she decided to tell the company. When she called the toll-free number on the wrapper, Sophie, who answered the phone, was incredibly nice, extremely apologetic, and very informative about what happened. “I’m very sorry you experienced an infested product,” said Sophie.

She explained that the infamous Indian meal moth is a pantry pest that causes millions of dollars in damage worldwide. It feeds on grains or grain-based products, such as cereal, flour, dry pasta, crackers, dried fruits, nuts, spices, and pet food. The tiny moth eggs lie dormant for some time or hatch quickly into tiny larvae (worms) that penetrate food wrappers and enter products.

At its manufacturing facilities, PowerBar takes stringent measures to protect against infestation. It inspects incoming grains, supplies proper ventilation, and shields all grain-storage areas with screens to prevent insects from entering. It also uses light traps and electrocuters; these devices eradicate moths with the least environmental impact. PowerBar President Brian Maxwell makes sure every complaint is followed up immediately with a personal letter. His letters generally tell custom- ers that it is rare for infestations like this to occur. Entomologists say that the worms are not toxic and will not harm humans. Nevertheless, as President Maxwell says, “it is extremely disgusting to find these worms in food.”

For the signature of Brian Maxwell, PowerBar president, write a bad-news follow-up letter to Kelly Keeler, 932 Opperman Drive, Eagan, MN 55123. Keep the letter informal and personal. Explain how pests get into grain-based products and what you are doing to prevent infestation. You can learn more about the Indian meal moth by searching the Web. In your letter include a brochure titled “Notes About the Indian Meal Moth,” along with a kit for Kelly to mail the culprit PowerBar to the company for analysis in Boise, Idaho. Also send a check reimbursing Kelly $36.85 for her purchase.20

Steven Chan, a consultant from Oakland, California, was surprised when he picked up his rental car from Budget in Seattle over Easter weekend. He had reserved a full-size car, but the rental agent told him he could upgrade to a Ford Excursion for an additional $25 a day. “She told me it was easy to drive,” Mr. Chan reported. “But when I saw it, I realized it was huge—like a tank. You could fit a full-size bed inside.”

On his trip Mr. Chan managed to scratch the paint and damage the rear-door step. He didn’t worry, though. He thought the damage would be covered because he had charged the rental on his American Express card. He knew that the company offered back-up car rental insurance coverage. To his dismay, he discovered that its car rental coverage excluded large SUVs. “I just assumed they’d cover it,” he confessed. He wrote to Budget to complain about not being warned that certain credit cards may not cover damage to large SUVs or luxury cars.

Budget agents always encourage renters to sign up for Budget’s own “risk product.” They don’t feel that it is their respon- sibility to study the policies of customers’ insurance carriers and explain what may or may not be covered. Moreover, they try to move customers into their rental cars as quickly as possible and avoid lengthy discussions of insurance coverage. Customers who do not purchase insurance are at risk. Mr. Chan does not make any claim against Budget, but he is upset about being “pitched” to upgrade to the larger SUV, which he didn’t really want.21

As a member of the communication staff at Budget, respond to Mr. Chan’s complaint. Budget obviously is not going to pay for the SUV repairs, but it does want to salvage his goodwill and future business. Offer him a coupon worth two days’ free rental of any full-size sedan. Write to Steven Chan, 5300 Park Ridge, Apt. 4A, Oakland, CA 93578

TEAM

Kevin Kearns, a printing company sales manager, must tell one of his clients that the payroll checks his company ordered are not going to be ready by the date Kearns had promised. The printing company’s job scheduler overlooked the job and didn’t get the checks into production in time to meet the deadline. As a result, Kearns’ client, a major insurance company, is going to miss its pay run.

Kearns meets with internal department heads. They decide on the following plan to remedy the situation: (a) move the check order to the front of the production line; (b) make up for the late production date by shipping some of the checks— enough to meet their client’s immediate payroll needs—by air freight; (c) deliver the remaining checks by truck.

Form groups of three or four students. Discuss the following issues about how to present the bad news to Andrew Tyra, Kearns’ contact person at the insurance company. a. Should Kearns call Tyra directly or delegate the task to his assistant? b. When should Tyra be informed of the problem? c. What is the best procedure for delivering the bad news? d. What follow-up would you recommend to Kearns?

Be prepared to share your group’s responses during a class discussion. Your instructor may ask two students to role-play the presentation of the bad news.

Video Resource

As manager of Gold’s Gym and Fitness Center, you must refuse the application of Monique Cooper for an Extended Membership. This is strictly a business decision. You liked Monique very much when she applied, and she seems genuinely interested in fitness and a healthful lifestyle. However, your Extended Membership plan qualifies the member for all your testing, exercise, recreation, yoga, and aerobics programs. This multiservice program is expensive for the club to maintain because of the huge staff required. Applicants must have a solid credit rating to join. To your disappointment, you learned that Monique’s credit rating is decidedly negative. Her credit report indicates that she is delinquent in payments to four busi- nesses, including Pros Athletic Club, your principal competitor.

You do have other programs, including your Drop In and Work Out plan, which offers the use of available facilities on a cash basis. This plan enables a member to reserve space on the racquetball and handball courts. The member can also sign up for yoga and exercise classes, space permitting. Because Monique is far in debt, you would feel guilty allowing her to plunge in any more deeply.

Refuse Monique Cooper’s credit application, but encourage her cash business. Suggest that she make an inquiry to the credit-reporting company Experian to learn about her credit report. She is eligible to receive a free credit report if she mentions this application. Write to Monique Cooper, 303 New Stine Road, Bakersfield, CA 93305.

E-MAIL WEB

As the vice president of the Green Group, an environmental firm, you had a request from team leader Emily Tsonga. She wants to know whether her team can use instant messaging on the job. Emily is working on the plans for an environmentally friendly shopping center, Westbury Mall. Her team project is moving ahead on schedule, and you have had excellent feed- back from the shopping center developers.

Emily’s team is probably already using instant messaging through public systems, and this worries you. You are con- cerned about security, viruses, and wasted time. However, the company has been considering a secured “enterprise-level” instant messaging system. The principal drawbacks are that such a system is expensive, requires administration, and limits use to organizational contacts only. You are not sure your company will ever adopt such a system.

You will have to refuse Emily’s request, but you want her to know how much you value her excellent work on developing sustainability and green building techniques for the Westbury Mall project. You know you cannot get by with a quick refusal. You must give her solid reasons for rejecting her request.

Send an e-mail to Emily Tsonga ([email protected]) refusing her request. See Chapter 5 for more information on the pros and cons of instant messaging. Also do research on the Web to understand better the risks of instant messaging.

Ashley Arnett, a hardworking bank teller, has sent a request asking that the company create a program to reimburse the tuition and book expenses for employees taking college courses. Although some companies have such a program, First Federal has not felt that it could indulge in such an expensive employee perk. Moreover, CEO Richard Houston is not convinced that com- panies see any direct benefit from such programs. Employees improve their educational credentials and skills, but what is to keep them from moving that education and skill set to another employer? First Federal has over 200 employees. If even a frac- tion of them started classes, the company could see a huge bill for the cost of tuition and books. Because the bank is facing stiff competition and its profits are sinking, the expense of such a program is out of the question. In addition, it would involve administration—applications, monitoring, and record keeping. It is just too much of a hassle. When employees were hard to hire and retain, companies had to offer employment perks. But with a soft economy, such inducements are unnecessary.

As director of Human Resources, send an individual response to Ashley Arnett. The answer is a definite no, but you want to soften the blow and retain the loyalty of this conscientious employee.

VVVideo Resource This video fea-

tures BuyCostumes, the world’s largest online costume and accessories retailer. After watching the video, play the part of a customer service representative.

BuyCostumes is proud of its extensive stock of costumes, its liberal return policy, and its many satisfied customers. But one day a letter arrived with a request that went beyond the company’s ability to deliver. The customer said that he had ordered the Gorilla Blinky Eye with Chest costume. This popu- lar gorilla costume comes with a unique gorilla mask, attractive suit with rubber chest, foot covers, and hands. The customer

complained that the gorilla costume did not arrive until two days after his Halloween party. He planned an elaborate party with a gorilla theme, and he was extremely unhappy that he did not have his costume. He asks BuyCostumes to reimburse $300 that he spent on theme-related decorations, which he says were useless when he failed to receive his costume.

As a customer service representative, you checked his order and found that it was not received until five days before Halloween, the busiest time of the year for your company. The order was filled the next day, but standard shipping requires three to six business days for delivery. The customer did not

Review the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook Sections 2.05–2.09. Then study each of the following statements and insert necessary commas. In the space provided write the number of commas that you add; write 0 if no commas are needed. Also record the number of the G/M principle(s) illustrated. When you finish, compare your responses with those provided at the end of the book. If your answers differ, study carefully the principles shown in parentheses.

When U.S. organizations engage in overseas business they must train their staffs accordingly.

1. If managers don’t prepare for international business trips by learning about the culture they will be at a disadvantage when negotiating deals abroad.

2. One international support person works with time zones around the world and she keeps several clocks set to different zones.

3. Dealing with the unfamiliar is less challenging if you are patient and if you are able to avoid becoming irritated at misunderstandings.

4. The board of directors of Danube, Inc., appointed Elena Tolstaya who had served as the company’s chief financial officer since 2007 to the position of president and CEO.

5. The imaginative promising software company opened its offices May 2 in Berlin. 6. Any sales associate who earns at least 1,000 recognition points this year will be honored

with a bonus vacation trip to Tahiti. 7. James Manning the marketing manager for Chevron’s Global Power Generation frequently

engages in videoconferences that span time zones. 8. During the fourth quarter of the last fiscal year Rotor Company’s earnings exceeded

analysts’ expectations. 9. When you are working with foreign clients for whom English is a second langauge you may

have to speak slowly and repeat yourself. 10. To be most successful you must read between the lines and learn to pick up on various

cultural vibes.

11. Diamond Blade Company’s new machine-tool facility showcases the latest advances in automation laser cutting and robotic bending in direct partnership with customers.

12. After she was hired she was told to report for work on Monday June 2 in Paris. 13. In the fall we expect to open a new branch in Sunnyvale which is an area of considerable

growth. 14. As we discussed on the telephone the ceremony is scheduled for Thursday March 4 at

3 p.m. 15. The interviewer expected a firm handshake from the candidate but was greeted by a limp-

fish clasp and she was uncomfortable touching the clammy hand.

order express or premium delivery; his shipping option was marked “Standard.”

You showed the letter to the owner, Mr. Getz, who said that this request was ludicrous. However, he wanted to retain the customer’s goodwill. Obviously, BuyCostumes was not going to shell out $300 for late delivery of a costume. But Mr. Getz suggested that the company would allow the customer to return the costume (in its original packaging) with a credit

for the $134.99 charge. In addition, BuyCostumes would send a coupon for $20 off on the next costume purchase.

Mr. Getz asks you to write a letter that retains the goodwill of this customer. Address your bad-news letter to Mr. Christopher King, 3579 Elm Street, Buffalo, NY 14202. Check for more company information.

GGGrammar/Mechanics Checkup 7

1 (2.06a)

Grammar/Mechanics Challenge 7

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The following letter has errors in spelling, proofreading, commas, parallelism, and other writing techniques studied in previous chapters. You may either (a) use standard proof- reading marks (see Appendix B) to correct the errors here or (b) download the docu- ment from and revise at your computer. Study the guidelines in the Grammar/Mechanics Handbook to sharpen your skills.

Grammar/Mechanics Checkup 7

GGGrammar/Mechanics Challenge 7

Dear Mr. Bumfield:

Did you know about the direct link between the health of your employes, and the health of your profits? Because we in the midst of tough economic times you are in all probability looking for benefits to offer your employees that help both you and them.

The benefits of healthyer employees includes lower health care costs, fewer medical claims, improved productivity, better morale and absenteeism is reduced. Here is how you can help your employees to have sound bodies, and also improve your companys profits:

• Provide them with Galaxy Fitness health club discounts. • Bring our aerobics, massage, weight loss and educational programs on-site. • You should have us manage your on-site fitness center.

Business Fortune magazine recently reported the following: “After a prevention and early intervention health program was implemented at L. L. Bean loss claims dropped by approximately 40 percent.”

Please call (713) 839-2300 and speak to Jan Novak who is our corporate fitness expert to learn how you can add to the health of each and every employee and also to you are bottom line.

Sincerely, GALAXY FITNESS

Missy Mischke Senior Marketing Manager

Current date

Mr. John Brumfield Human Resources Development Gulfport Energy Enterprises 1400 Longhorn Blvd. Houston, TX 76400

To minimize disappointment, Americans generally prefer to present negative messages indirectly. Other cultures may treat bad news differently, as illustrated in the following:

In Germany business communicators occasionally use buffers but tend to present bad news directly. British writers tend to be straightforward with bad news, seeing no reason to soften its announcement. In Latin countries the question is not how to organize negative messages but whether to present them at all. It is considered disrespectful and impolite to report bad news to superiors. Therefore, reluctant employees may fail to report accurately any negative situations to their bosses. In Thailand the negativism represented by a refusal is completely alien; the word no does not exist. In many cultures negative news is offered with such subtleness or in such a positive light that it may be overlooked or misunderstood by literal-minded Americans. In many Asian and some Latin cultures, one must look beyond an individual’s actual words to understand what is really being communicated. One must consider the com- munication style, the culture, and especially the context. Consider the following phrases and their possible meanings:

I agree. I agree with 15 percent of what you say. We might be able to . . . Not a chance! We will consider . . . We will consider, but the real decision maker will not. That is a little too much . . . That is outrageous! Yes. Yes, I’m listening. OR: Yes, you have a good point.

OR: Yes, I understand, but I don’t necessarily agree.

Interview fellow students or work colleagues who are from other cul- tures. Collect information regarding the following questions:

How is negative news handled in their cultures? How would typical business communicators refuse a request for a business favor (such as a contribution to a charity)? How would typical business communicators refuse a customer’s claim? How would an individual be turned down for a job?

Your Task Report the findings of your interviews in class discussion or in a memo report. In addition, collect samples of foreign business letters. You might ask foreign students, your campus admissions office, or local export/import companies whether they would be willing to share business letters from other countries. Compare letter styles, formats, tone, and writing strategies. How do these elements differ from those in typical North American business letters?

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Communication Workshop: Intercultural Issues

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OBJECTIVES

Making Persuasive Requests

Much of your success in business and in life depends on how skilled you are at persuading people to believe, accept, and act on what you are saying. Famous inves- tor Warren Buffett, considered the richest person on earth by Forbes, was named by Time magazine as one of the world’s 100 most influential people. Called “the Oracle of Omaha,” Buffett commands respect when he speaks about stocks and the economy. He also had the public’s ear when he announced plans to give away most of his fortune to charity.

Buffett’s annual letters to shareholders feature more than facts and figures. The president and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway understands that he needs to connect to his audience’s desires and needs. In addition to analyzing impressive numbers, Buffett sprinkles his prose with quotations and humor. Applying such persuasive techniques and many others can help you become a persuasive communicator. Because their ideas generally prevail, persuasive individuals become decision makers—managers, execu- tives, and entrepreneurs. This chapter will examine techniques for presenting ideas persuasively, whether in your career or in your personal life.

Persuasion is necessary when you anticipate resistance or when you must pre- pare before you can present your ideas effectively. For example, let’s say you bought a new car and the transmission repeatedly required servicing. When you finally got tired of taking it in for repair, you decided to write to the car manufacturer’s district office asking that the company install a new transmission in your car. You knew that your request would be resisted. You had to convince the manufacturer that replacement, not repair, was needed. Direct claim letters, such as those you

Persuasive Messages

88C H A P T E R 8

The ability to persuade is a primary factor in personal and business success.