For downloading and uploading instructions, refer to handout in the Course information folder Downloading, Working with, and Uploading a Module Assignment File.

Using PASS analysis helps a business writer to develop a high-level map for a written communication. Select a topic, and list the topic, the audience, one possible purpose for a document, and the types of information (not sources) needed to achieve that purpose. Because the topics are broad, select some aspect of the chosen topic. Then, consider the type of written communication (“staging”) that might suit your topic – letter, email, memo, instructions, or report. Reference: Textbook pages 4-19, and handout Cpt1 on PASS Analysis particularly slides 6-41. For more information on PURPOSE, review textbook page 6 for a sample (also in the handout).

TOPICS:

· Banking

· Computer programming

· Digital photography

· E-commerce

· Health care

· Highway construction

EXAMPLE:

Topic	Small businesses: Opening a small food cart business.
AUDIENCE	Aspiring post-college entrepreneurs.
PURPOSE	To explain how to open and run a small food cart business so that aspiring post-college entrepreneurs will join the franchise.
SCOPE: Types of information	Benefits of owning your own business, risks and rewards of being an entrepreneur, skills needed, franchise support, career and income potential, investment requirements.
STAGING: Type of written communication	Training manual

STUDENT RESPONSE:

Topic	STUDENT RESPONSE:
AUDIENCE
PURPOSE
SCOPE: Types of information
STAGING: Type of written communication

Exercise 2-Writing to different AUDIENCES

Business writing is more persuasive when a specific audience is targeted. Using the techniques described in chapter 1, write a memo explaining how to perform an aspect of your job (or a job you’ve had) for your replacement you while you are away or on vacation. For the same job, write two versions of this memo to two different audiences: Version #1 to a temporary employee hired through a temporary job agency, and Version #2 to a long-time employee who works in your department. Use the memo templates below.

Reference: Textbook pages 6-8 and 11-13, and handout Cpt2b slides 23-33. Also reference the textbook pages 42-43 and 54.

For a better grade, do not just copy 95% of version 1 into version 2. The two versions should be very different due to the different needs of each audience.

Here is a “silly,” partial example.

Partial EXAMPLE of Version #1:

Instructions for a new house sitter...

Please keep up with the dishwashing. The rubber gloves and xyz soap are under the sink. The faucet spray works well. Clean dish towels are in the second drawer to the right of the sink. The white plastic dry rack is also under the sink; be sure to dry it when not in use.

Water the plants every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The cactus plant needs water only on Fridays. It takes about one-half cup water. Also, change its position by turning it one quarter to the right.

Throw out the garbage every morning. The plastic bags are under the sink. Use the twist tie that comes with the bag so that the smell is reduced and we attract fewer bugs. Place the bag(s) either in the dumb waiter in the kitchen for staff pickup or in the garbage area in the basement.

(And so on…)

Partial EXAMPLE of Version #2:

Instructions for a professional house sitter that you have hired in the past...

1. Wash the dishes.

2. Water the plants (Monday, Wednesday, Friday).

3. Throw out the garbage.

4. Walk the dog.

5. Do the laundry.

6. Collect the newspapers and mail.

Begin on the next page.

Version #1: Create a memo to the new temporary employee

ABC COMPANY MEMORANDUM
TO:	{Name of the temporary employee taking your place}
FROM:	{Your name}
DATE:	{Fill in the date}
SUBJECT:	{Fill in your subject}

Version #2: Create a memo to your co-worker

ABC COMPANY MEMORANDUM
TO:	{Name of your co-worker}
FROM:	{Your name}
DATE:	{Fill in the date}
SUBJECT:	{Fill in your subject. Hint: Same subject as memo #1}

QUESTION: Describe briefly the basic differences in Purpose, Audience, and Scope between writing version #1 and version #2 of the memo.

DIFFERENCES:	STUDENT RESPONSE: (Short answers)
Difference in PURPOSE
Difference in AUDIENCE
Difference in SCOPE

MAF1b

Chapter 2-Organizing the SCOPE of your information

Exercise 1-Organization methods

Business people enhance their written communications by using appropriate methods of organization (see table). Determine the best method for each of the topics below. Reference : Textbook pages 34-37 including Summary Table 2.1 page 37, handout Cpt2b slides 40 to the end.

METHODS OF ORGANIZATION

Sequential	Division and classification	General to specific
Chronological	Decreasing order of importance	Specific to general
Spatial	Increasing order of importance	Comparison

SELECT THE APPROPRIATE METHOD OF ORGANIZATION FOR EACH:

	TOPIC:	STUDENT RESPONSE:
a.	Announcing the winners of an election
b.	Describing different NYC subway lines
c.	Providing directions to the neighborhood grocery store.
d.	Determining the best school to attend
e.	Explaining how to apply for a job

Take one of these topics and create an outline using that organization method.

EXAMPLE:

Describing college schools and departments

METHOD:

Division and Classification

OUTLINE:

School of Arts and Humanities

· Academic Departments: African and African American Studies; Art; English; History; Journalism, Communication, and Theatre; Languages and Literatures; Latin American, Latino, and Puerto Rican Studies; Music; and Philosophy.

School of Natural and Social Sciences

· Academic Departments: Anthropology, Biological Sciences, Chemistry, Earth, Environmental, & Geospatial Sciences, Economics & Business, Mathematics & Computer Science, Physics & Astronomy, Political Science, Psychology, Sociology

School of Health Sciences, Human Services and Nursing

· Academic Departments: Health Sciences; Social Work; Nursing; and Speech, Language and Hearing Sciences.

TOPIC:
METHOD:
OUTLINE:	·

Exercise 2-Creating an outline

A writer created a list of items of advantages and disadvantages of the topic below and needs to determine a potential outline. Review the list below, then copy/paste the most important items to create two different, preliminary outlines. Items can be ignored if not related, combined if repetitious, or reused (“repurposed”) in more than one topic and/or section. Reference : Textbook pages 33-36 and handout Cpt2a slides 3 to 29.

TOPIC: Instituting flexible work schedules

Advantageous to working parents

More satisfied employees

Workers not always available when needed

Must have core hours when everyone must be at work

Personal lives easier to schedule

Carpooling more difficult

Cafeteria hours would have to be expanded

Extended workday would increase utility bills

Time-zone differences across the country become a potential problem

Daylight saving time

Day care made easier

Easier for employees to schedule medical appointments

Bus schedules

Greater efficiency

Employees are more productive

Employees gain more control over their lives

Could result in decreased control by managers and supervisors

Could produce healthier employees

Could result in cheating

Could decrease or eliminate tardiness

POSSIBLE OUTLINES

OUTLINE 1: Advantages vs. Disadvantages		OUTLINE 2: Worker vs. Management issues

Section 1 - Advantages:		Section 1 - Worker issues:
1.		1.
2.		2.
3.		3.
4.		4.
5.		5.
6.		6.



Section 2 - Disadvantages:		Section 2 - Management issues:
1.		1.
2.		2.
3.		3.
4.		4.
5.		5.
6.		6.

QUESTION:	STUDENT RESPONSE:
What brief, general observation can you make about how the topic affects the data selected for the outline?

Exercise 3-Writing development strategies

Chapter 3 describes four basic writing development strategies (see table) that are useful to the business writer in developing ideas in workplace writing. It also explains how to create openings and closings. Reference: Textbook pages 43-46, and handout Cpt3b slides 23-49 and 50 to the end.

WRITING DEVELOPMENT STRATEGIES

Explaining a process	Tells how something works, is done, or happens (uses steps and illustrations)
Describing information	Describes how something looks or is planned to look (key physical features)
Defining terms and concepts	Clarifies the meanings of ideas crucial to your topic (uses formal, informal, and extended definitions)
Explaining cause and effect	Analyzes why something happened or may happen (needs evidence – relevant, adequate, representative, demonstrable)

Select a topic from the list below. Consider the PURPOSE and AUDIENCE, then draft an opening paragraph, create a list items in the body, specify which writing development strategy/strategies might best fit the topic and items, and finally, draft a closing paragraph.

a. Ways to improve employee participation in a health facility program (to the president or head of the organization that employs you)

b. The advantages of setting up a budget or checking account on a personal computer (for an informational handout at a senior center or for students seeking help at your college mentoring center)

c. How setting up an IRA early in life builds wealth (for a presentation)

	STUDENT RESPONSE:
TOPIC:
Opening paragraph:
List 3 to 5 items that you might write in the body to support the topic :	1. 2. 3. 4.
Which writing development strategy might work best?
Closing paragraph:

MAF1c

Chapter 2–Organizing SCOPE, continued

Exercise 1-Well-constructed paragraphs

Well-constructed paragraphs have coherence and unity, which enable readers to quickly understand their content and writers to achieve their purpose. Read the following paragraph and respond to the questions below. Reference: Textbook pages 46-48, and handout Cpt2c slides 14-28.

(1) Frequently, department managers and supervisors recruit applicants without working through our corporate human-resources office. (2) Our human-resources departments at all of our locations across the country have experienced this problem. (3) Recently, the manager of our tool-design department met with a recent industrial design graduate to discuss an opening for a tool designer. (4) The graduate was sent to the human-resources department, where she was told that no such position existed. (5) When the tool-design manager asked the director of human resources about the matter, the manager learned that the company president had ordered a hiring freeze for two months. (6) I’m sure that our general employment situation will get better. (7) As a result of the manager’s failure to work through proper channels, the applicant was not only disappointed but bitter.

	QUESTION:	STUDENT RESPONSE:
a.	Which number sentence is the topic sentence?
b.	Which number sentence does not contribute to paragraph unity?
c.	What is the writer providing in sentences 3 through 7 to help the reader understand his/her point?
d.	Why is that helpful, or why is the message better by adding sentences 3 through 7?

Exercise 2-Transitional devices

Transitions help the business reader quickly follow changes in the writer’s thought. Each of the following pairs of sentences lacks a transition from the first sentence to the second. From the list of transitional devices in the table below, select the most appropriate one for each sentence pair and include the transition. Reference: Textbook pages 49-50, and handout Cpt2c slides 30 to 53.

TABLE OF TRANSITIONAL DEVICES

	TRANSITION TYPES	TRANSITIONS
1.	To add info:	Also, in addition, besides, finally, moreover, next, last First, second, third, etc.
2.	To give an example:	For example, for instance, to illustrate, in particular…
3.	To compare/contrast:	On the other hand, although, similarly, however, likewise…
4.	To prove:	Because, therefore, thus, hence…
5.	To show time:	Next, during, initially, currently, previously, finally First, second, third, etc.,
6.	To show sequence:	Next, now, after, finally, simultaneously… First, second, etc.
7.	To conclude:	In conclusion, finally, to summarize, as a result
8.	To connect by using conjunctions:	and, yet, or, for, nor, but, so

REVISE EACH TO ADD THE APPROPRIATE TRANSITIONAL DEVICE.

	SENTENCE PAIRS:	Trans. type #	STUDENT REVISION:
a.	Enrollment at the college increased 30 percent during the recession. Income from tuition decreased by 10 percent.
b.	She programmed her computer to use “dollar-cost-averaging” to buy stocks on the same day of every month. She automatically buys more shares when the price is lower and fewer when the price is higher.
c.	The chicken was raw. The cook forgot to turn on the oven.

Exercise 3-Parallel structure

Good workplace writing uses parallel structure. The following sentences violate the principles of parallel structure. Identify the incorrect sentences and revise to make them parallel. Reference : Textbook page 52, and handout Cpt2d, especially slides 28 to 36 on parallel structure.

	SENTENCE PAIRS:	STUDENT REVISION:
a.	He wanted to invest in the business and that his children would be given executive positions.
b.	Our friends enjoy winter sports like hockey, skiing, and to skate.
c.	He neither wanted the hat nor the tie.

Exercise 4-Excessive subordination and wordiness

Business writers avoid excessive subordination. Rewrite the following to eliminate it. Reference : Textbook page 51, and handout Cpt2d on revision/emphasis, especially slides 16 to 27 on subordination.

	SENTENCE PAIRS:	STUDENT REVISION:
a.	It is evident that the financial advisors at major banks and those which were multinational investment firms, that were selling doomed derivatives to investors who were looking to earn a quick profit and that would avoid bad risk, were the ones that practiced deliberate fraud and they are the ones that are to blame.

Exercise 5-Redundant words, phrases, or clauses

Business writers eliminate redundant words, phrases, or clauses. Rewrite the sentences to eliminate the redundant elements. Reference: Textbook pages 57-59 on Language.

	SENTENCE:	STUDENT REVISION:
a.	The field of classical music is a career that offers few jobs.
b.	The music director spoke to the principal with regard to the scheduling of the student tour.
c.	Our award-winning-writers, having won many professional accolades, will create the new TV series.

Exercise 6-Active/passive voice

Superior workplace writing uses active-voice verbs. Revise the following sentences so that verbs are in the active voice. Add subjects if necessary. Reference : Textbook pages 50-51, and handout Cpt2d, especially slides 3 to 15 on voice.

EX. PASSIVE: The homework was eaten by my dog. ACTIVE: My dog ate the homework.

	SENTENCE IN PASSIVE VOICE:	STUDENT REVISION IN ACTIVE VOICE:
a.	The entire building was painted by Charles and his brother.
b.	Substantial sums of money were saved by customers who enrolled early in our stock-option plan.