assignment 67
Delp10
English-Skills-with-Readings-9th-Edition-B00HZ3BD88.pdf
English Skills with Readings
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English Skills with Readings
NINTH EDITION
John Langan Atlantic Cape Community College
Zoé L. Albright Metropolitan Community College—Longview
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ENGLISH SKILLS WITH READINGS, NINTH EDITION
Published by McGraw-Hill Education, 2 Penn Plaza, New York, NY 10121. Copyright © 2 015 by McGraw-
Hill Education. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. Previous editions © 201 2, 2008,
and 2006. No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored
in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written consent of McGraw-Hill Education, including, but
not limited to, in any network or other electronic storage or transmission, or broadcast for distance learning.
Some ancillaries, including electronic and print components, may not be available to customers outside
the United States.
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Langan, John, 1942-
English skills with readings/John Langan, Atlantic Cape Community College, Zoé L. Albright,
Metropolitan Community College-Longview.—Ninth edition.
pages cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-07-351356-0 (Student Edition: acid-free paper)
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ISBN-13: (invalid) 978-0-07-776841-6 (Instructor’s Edition: acid-free paper)
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1. English language—Rhetoric. 2. English language—Grammar. 3. College readers. I. Albright, Zoé L. II. Title.
PE1408.L3182 2014
808'.0427—dc23
2013043700
The Internet addresses listed in the text were accurate at the time of publication. The inclusion of a
website does not indicate an endorsement by the authors or McGraw-Hill Education, and McGraw-Hill
Education does not guarantee the accuracy of the information presented at these sites.
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John Langan has taught reading and writing at Atlantic Cape
Community College near Atlantic City, New Jersey, for more than
twenty-fi ve years. Th e author of a popular series of college textbooks
on both writing and reading, John enjoys the challenge of develop-
ing materials that teach skills in an especially clear and lively way.
Before teaching, he earned advanced degrees in writing at Rutgers
University and in reading at Rowan University. He also spent a year
writing fi ction that, he says, “is now at the back of a drawer waiting to
be discovered and acclaimed posthumously.” While in school, he sup-
ported himself by working as a truck driver, a machinist, a battery as-
sembler, a hospital attendant, and an apple packer. John now lives with
his wife, Judith Nadell, near Philadelphia. In addition to his wife and
Philly sports teams, his passions include reading and turning on nonreaders to the
pleasure and power of books. Th rough Townsend Press, his educational publish-
ing company, he has developed the nonprofi t “Townsend Library”—a collection of
more than one hundred new and classic stories that appeal to readers of any age.
Zoé L. Albright has been involved in diverse aspects of educa-
tion for eighteen years. For the last thirteen years, she has been a
faculty member at Metropolitan Community College—Longview,
teaching developmental writing, composition, and literature. She
has created and implemented traditional and online curricula for
high school and college English and composition courses and for
a variety of literature courses. She continues to research new educa-
tional theory and practices. In addition to this extensive teaching ex-
perience, Zoé has most recently served as a contributing author to the
Langan writing series, including the Exploring Writing 3/e books and
College Writing Skills with Readings 9/e. She received her M.A. from Goldsmiths,
University of London; B.S. and B.A. from the University of Idaho; and A.A. from
Cottey College. Travel is one of Zoé’s main passions. Whenever she travels, she
incorporates what she has experienced and learned into her writing and teaching.
When she is not working or traveling, she enjoys reading or pursuing her new-
found interest, tennis. Zoé currently resides outside Kansas City, Missouri, with
her husband and young son.
John Langan
Zoé L. Albright
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vi
PART 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing 1 1. An Introduction to Writing 2
2. Th e Four Bases and the Writing Process 18
3. Th e First and Second Steps in Writing 51
4. Th e Th ird Step in Writing 89
5. Th e Fourth Step in Writing 111
6. Four Bases for Revising Writing 141
7. Writing in the Digital Age 168
PART 2 Paragraph Development 183 8. Exemplifi cation 184
9. Process 199
10. Cause and/or Eff ect 214
11. Comparison and/or Contrast 229
12. Defi nition 250
13. Division-Classifi cation 263
14. Description 278
15. Narration 293
16. Argument 305
PART 3 Essay Development 323 17. Writing the Essay 324
PART 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills 357
SECTION I Grammar 358
18. Subjects and Verbs 359
19. Sentence Sense 364
20. Fragments 367
21. Run-Ons 381
22. Regular and Irregular Verbs 394
23. Standard English Verbs 402
24. Subject-Verb Agreement 410
25. Pronoun Agreement and Reference 416
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BRIEF CONTENTS vii
26. Pronoun Types 422
27. Adjectives and Adverbs 428
28. Misplaced and Dangling Modifi ers 433
SECTION II Mechanics 441
29. Paper Format 442
30. Capital Letters 447
31. Numbers and Abbreviations 456
SECTION III Punctuation 459
32. Apostrophes 460
33. Quotation Marks 468
34. Commas 476
35. Other Punctuation Marks 485
SECTION IV Word Use 489
36. Using the Dictionary 490
37. Improving Spelling 499
38. Vocabulary Development 508
39. Commonly Confused Words 511
40. Eff ective Word Choice 521
SECTION V Practice 526
41. Editing Tests 527
PART 5 Readings for Writers 543
INTRODUCTION TO THE READINGS 544
GOALS AND VALUES 548
EDUCATION AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT 602
HUMAN GROUPS AND SOCIETY 637
APPENDIXES 672 A. ESL Pointers 672
B. Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test 682
C. Sentence-Skills Achievement Test 687
D. Answers to Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test 692
Credits 693
Index 696
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Readings Listed by Rhetorical Mode xvii
Preface xix
PART 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing 1
1. An Introduction to Writing 2 Understanding Point and Support 3
Benefi ts of Paragraph Writing 6
Writing as a Way to Communicate with Others: Considering Audience and Purpose 7
Writing as a Skill 12
Writing as a Process of Discovery 14
Keeping a Journal 15
Using Th is Text 17
2. The Four Bases and the Writing Process 18 Prewriting 19
Writing a Topic Sentence and Preparing a Scratch Outline 25
Writing a First Draft 27
Revising 29
Editing 32
Using Peer Review 34
Doing a Personal Review 36
Review Activities 37
3. The First and Second Steps in Writing 51 Step 1: Begin with a Point 52
Step 2: Support the Point with Specifi c Evidence 54
Reinforcing Point and Support 58
Th e Importance of Specifi c Details 61
Th e Importance of Adequate Details 64
Practice in Making and Supporting a Point 67
4. The Third Step in Writing 89 Step 3: Organize and Connect the Specifi c Evidence 90
Practice in Organizing and Connecting Specifi c Evidence 101
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5. The Fourth Step in Writing 111 Step 4: Write Clear, Error-Free Sentences 111
Revising Sentences 111
Editing Sentences 128
Practice in Revising Sentences 130
Using Parallelism 131
Using a Consistent Point of View 132
Using Specifi c Words 133
Using Concise Wording 135
Varying Your Sentences 136
6. Four Bases for Revising Writing 141 Base 1: Unity 142
Base 2: Support 144
Base 3: Coherence 146
Base 4: Sentence Skills 148
Practice in Using the Four Bases 153
7. Writing in the Digital Age 168 Tips for Writing On-Screen 169
Using Digital and Electronic Resources at Each Stage of the Writing Process 169
Using the Internet 173
A Look Ahead to Part 2 181
PART 2 Paragraph Development 183
8. Exemplifi cation 184 Evaluating Student Paragraphs 186
Developing an Exemplifi cation Paragraph 188
Writing an Exemplifi cation Paragraph 191
9. Process 199 Evaluating Student Paragraphs 200
Developing a Process Paragraph 203
Writing a Process Paragraph 206
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10. Cause and/or Effect 214 Evaluating Student Paragraphs 215
Developing a Cause and/or Eff ect Paragraph 217
Writing a Cause and/or Eff ect Paragraph 220
11. Comparison and/or Contrast 229 Evaluating Student Paragraphs 230
Two Common Methods of Development 232
Evaluating Additional Paragraphs 236
Developing a Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph 238
Writing a Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph 241
12. Defi nition 250 Evaluating Student Paragraphs 252
Developing a Defi nition Paragraph 254
Writing a Defi nition Paragraph 257
13. Division-Classifi cation 263 Evaluating Student Paragraphs 264
Developing a Division-Classifi cation Paragraph 268
Writing a Division-Classifi cation Paragraph 271
14. Description 278 Evaluating Student Paragraphs 280
Developing a Descriptive Paragraph 282
Writing a Descriptive Paragraph 285
15. Narration 293 Evaluating Student Paragraphs 294
Developing a Narrative Paragraph 297
Writing a Narrative Paragraph 299
16. Argument 305 Strategies for Argument 306
Evaluating Student Paragraphs 308
Developing an Argument Paragraph 313
Writing an Argument Paragraph 315
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PART 3 Essay Development 323
17. Writing the Essay 324 What Is an Essay? 325
Important Points about the Essay 328
Evaluating Student Essays 332
Planning the Essay 337
Practice in Writing the Essay 339
Preparing for Essay Exams 346
Essay Assignments 349
PART 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills 357
SECTION I Grammar 358
18. Subjects and Verbs 359 A Simple Way to Find a Subject 359
A Simple Way to Find a Verb 359
More about Subjects and Verbs 360
19. Sentence Sense 364 How Does Sentence Sense Relate to You as a Writer? 364
Turning on Your Sentence Sense 364
Summary: Using Sentence Sense 366
20. Fragments 367 What Are Fragments? 367
Dependent-Word Fragments 367
-ing and to Fragments 371
Added-Detail Fragments 374
Missing-Subject Fragments 377
21. Run-Ons 381 What Are Run-Ons? 381
Correcting Run-Ons 382
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xii CONTENTS
22. Regular and Irregular Verbs 394 A Brief Review of Regular Verbs 394
Irregular Verbs 394
23. Standard English Verbs 402 Regular Verbs: Dialect and Standard Forms 402
Th ree Common Irregular Verbs: Dialect and Standard Forms 406
24. Subject-Verb Agreement 410 Words between Subject and Verb 410
Verb before Subject 411
Compound Subjects 412
Indefi nite Pronouns 413
25. Pronoun Agreement and Reference 416 Pronoun Agreement 416
Pronoun Reference 418
26. Pronoun Types 422 Subject and Object Pronouns 422
Possessive Pronouns 425
Demonstrative Pronouns 426
27. Adjectives and Adverbs 428 Adjectives 428
Adverbs 430
28. Misplaced and Dangling Modifi ers 433 What Misplaced Modifi ers Are and How to Correct Th em 433
What Dangling Modifi ers Are and How to Correct Th em 435
SECTION II Mechanics 441
29. Paper Format 442 Guidelines for Formatting a Paper 442
30. Capital Letters 447 Main Uses of Capital Letters 447
Other Uses of Capital Letters 450
Unnecessary Use of Capitals 453
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31. Numbers and Abbreviations 456 Numbers 456
Abbreviations 457
SECTION III Punctuation 459
32. Apostrophes 460 Apostrophe in Contractions 460
Apostrophe to Show Ownership or Possession 461
33. Quotation Marks 468 Quotation Marks to Set Off Exact Words of a Speaker or Writer 468
Quotation Marks to Set Off Titles of Short Works 471
Other Uses of Quotation Marks 473
34. Commas 476 Six Main Uses of the Comma 476
35. Other Punctuation Marks 485 Colon (:) 485
Semicolon (;) 486
Dash (—) 486
Hyphen (-) 487
Parentheses ( ) 487
SECTION IV Word Use 489
36. Using the Dictionary 490 Owning Your Own Dictionaries 490
Dictionaries on Your Computer 491
Understanding a Dictionary Entry 492
37. Improving Spelling 499 Step 1: Use the Dictionary 499
Step 2: Keep a Personal Spelling List 499
Step 3: Master Commonly Confused Words 500
Step 4: Use a Computer’s Spell-Checker 500
Step 5: Understand Basic Spelling Rules 500
Step 6: Study a Basic Word List 501
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xiv CONTENTS
38. Vocabulary Development 508 Regular Reading 508
Vocabulary Wordsheets 509
Vocabulary Study Books 510
39. Commonly Confused Words 511 Homonyms 511
Other Words Frequently Confused 516
40. Effective Word Choice 521 Slang 521
Clichés 522
Pretentious Words 523
SECTION V Practice 526
41. Editing Tests 527 Twelve Editing Tests 527
PART 5 Readings for Writers 543
INTRODUCTION TO THE READINGS 544
Th e Format of Each Selection 544
How to Read Well: Four General Steps 545
How to Answer the Vocabulary in Context Questions 547
How to Answer the Comprehension Questions: Specifi c Hints 547
GOALS AND VALUES 548
All the Good Th ings Sister Helen Mrosla 548
Rowing the Bus Paul Logan 554
“Extra Large,” Please Diane Urbina 562
What Good Families Are Doing Right Dolores Curran 569
Diff erent Is Just Diff erent Suzanne Fisher Staples 582
What Students Need to Know about Today’s Job Crisis Don Bertram 590
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EDUCATION AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT 602
Do It Better! Ben Carson, M.D., with Cecil Murphey 602
Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name James Lincoln Collier 612
Let’s Really Reform Our Schools Anita Garland 619
How Th ey Get You to Do Th at Janny Scott 627
HUMAN GROUPS AND SOCIETY 637
from A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens 637
Duel at High Noon: A Replay of Cormier’s Works Kathy Neal Headley 644
Managing Confl icts in Relationships Rudolph F. Verderber 651
Group Pressure Rodney Stark 658
From Father to Son, Last Words to Live By Dana Canedy 664
Reading Comprehension Chart 671
APPENDIXES 672 A. ESL Pointers 672
Articles 672
Subjects and Verbs 675
Adjectives 679
Prepositions Used for Time and Place 681
B. Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test 682
C. Sentence-Skills Achievement Test 687
D. Answers to Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test 692
CREATE-ONLY CHAPTERS
Using the Library Making Full Use of the Library’s Resources
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xvi CONTENTS
Writing a Research Paper Step 1: Select a Topic Th at You Can Readily Research
Step 2: Limit Your Topic, Make the Purpose of Your Paper Clear, and Assess Your Audience
Step 3: Gather Information on Your Limited Topic
Step 4: Plan Your Paper and Take Notes on Your Limited Topic
A Caution about Plagiarism
Step 5: Write the Paper
Step 6: Use an Acceptable Format and Method of Documentation
Model Paper
Combined Mastery Tests
Credits 693
Index 696
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Listed by Rhetorical Mode
Note: Some selections are listed more than once because they illustrate more than one rhetorical method of development.
EXEMPLIFICATION All the Good Th ings Sister Helen Mrosla 548
“Extra Large,” Please Diane Urbina 562
What Good Families Are Doing Right Dolores Curran 569
Diff erent Is Just Diff erent Suzanne Fisher Staples 582
What Students Need to Know about Today’s Job Crisis Don Bertram 590
Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name James Lincoln Collier 612
How Th ey Get You to Do Th at Janny Scott 627
Duel at High Noon: A Replay of Cormier’s Works Kathy Neal Headley 644
Managing Conflicts in Relationships Rudolph F. Verderber 651
Group Pressure Rodney Stark 658
PROCESS Let’s Really Reform Our Schools Anita Garland 619
Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name James Lincoln Collier 612
Managing Conflicts in Relationships Rudolph F. Verderber 651
Group Pressure Rodney Stark 658
COMPARISON AND/OR CONTRAST Rowing the Bus Paul Logan 554
“Extra Large,” Please Diane Urbina 562
Diff erent Is Just Diff erent Suzanne Fisher Staples 582
from A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens 637
DEFINITION What Good Families Are Doing Right Dolores Curran 569
Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name James Lincoln Collier 612
Managing Conflicts in Relationships Rudolph F. Verderber 651
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xviii READINGS
DIVISION-CLASSIFICATION What Good Families Are Doing Right Dolores Curran 569
What Students Need to Know about Today’s Job Crisis Don Bertram 590
Group Pressure Rodney Stark 658
DESCRIPTION Rowing the Bus Paul Logan 554
Diff erent Is Just Diff erent Suzanne Fisher Staples 582
from A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens 637
Group Pressure Rodney Stark 658
From Father to Son, Last Words to Live By Dana Canedy 664
CAUSE AND/OR EFFECT “Extra Large,” Please Diane Urbina 562
Do It Better! Ben Carson, M.D., with Cecil Murphey 602
Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name James Lincoln Collier 612
Let’s Really Reform Our Schools Anita Garland 619
How Th ey Get You to Do Th at Janny Scott 627
Managing Conflicts in Relationships Rudolph F. Verderber 651
Group Pressure Rodney Stark 658
NARRATION All the Good Th ings Sister Helen Mrosla 548
Rowing the Bus Paul Logan 554
Diff erent Is Just Diff erent Suzanne Fisher Staples 582
What Students Need to Know about Today’s Job Crisis Don Bertram 590
Do It Better! Ben Carson, M.D., with Cecil Murphey 602
from A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens 637
From Father to Son, Last Words to Live By Dana Canedy 664
ARGUMENT “Extra Large,” Please Diane Urbina 562
Diff erent Is Just Diff erent Suzanne Fisher Staples 582
What Students Need to Know about Today’s Job Crisis Don Bertram 590
Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name James Lincoln Collier 612
Let’s Really Reform Our Schools Anita Garland 619
Duel at High Noon: A Replay of Cormier’s Works Kathy Neal Headley 644
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Preface
English Skills 11th Edition Now Available through McGraw-Hill Create™ Only If you previously ordered English Skills (without readings), you can easily continue to do so by asking your McGraw-Hill representative to add all the content to a Create project and generate an ISBN, or you can take this opportunity to get creative!
In addition to reorganizing and eliminating chapters in English Skills, you have many other options to build the perfect book:
• Add your own materials (such as sample student paragraphs or essays) or add chapters from other McGraw-Hill textbooks.
• Add in one or two readings from Part 5 of the version with readings or a reading from the anthologies of any other McGraw-Hill Langan texts.
• Customize the readings using other McGraw Hill collections in Create, such as The Ideal Reader or Cornerstones.
Be inspired to make a great book, the perfect book for your course with McGraw-Hill Learning Solutions.
McGraw-Hill Create™Only Content and ExpressBooks Specifi c chapters (“Using the Library” and “Writing a Research Paper”) will be offered only through Create™ as options to customize into your print or electronic text. Additionally, the “Combined Mastery Tests” will now be loaded individually in Create so you can add some or all of them to your text.
If you wish to consider alternate TOCs or quickly view the possibilities for customizing your book, visit www.mcgrawhillcreate.com and enter “English Skills with Readings” under the Find Content tab. Once you select the current edition of the book, click on the orange “Related Materials” button to see options. You will fi nd an ExpressBook for the text with Part 5 readings organized by rhetorical modes, one with readings orga- nized after each rhetorical mode chapter, and one with alternate/additional readings. You may select an ExpressBook and further customize it as you wish.
We understand that you have a unique perspective. Use McGraw-Hill CreateTM Express- Books to build the text you’ve only imagined!
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xx
Adaptive Assessment, Learning, and Practice With Connect © Writing, your students gain access to McGraw-Hill’s adaptive learning tool, Learn- Smart Achieve™, which works to identify what students know and do not know about the writing process and grammar as they answer questions that are tied to key course learning objectives. Its continually-adaptive technology and exclusive time-management features enable you and your students to monitor progress and stay on track towards mastering assigned topics.
Within each topic, the system starts with a “Tune In” phase that offers a baseline assessment de- signed to determine how to focus a student’s time with fi ve learning resources tied to fi ve objectives that are diffi cult for a given student. During the LearnSmart Achieve “Focus” phase, students are presented with an individualized learning experi- ence focusing them on concepts where they need most help. The program then guides students through the “Practice” phase, continuing to assess
for and remediate on those same fi ve objectives as students work towards mastery. With an engine that incorporates metacognitive learning theory and forgetting curve theory, students indicate their confi dence with each question and see a “Recharge” button that prompts them to review the concepts they are most likely to forget right before they are about to forget them.
LearnSmart Achieve reports in Connect Writing allow instructors to dig deeper and pinpoint the areas that students are struggling with the most.
Additionally, by allowing students to improve their skills at their own pace with com- prehensive assignment of multiple topics, LearnSmart Achieve supports a variety of redesign models (co-requisites, boot camps, NCBOs, ABE, ALP, modularized, labs) or more-focused classroom instruction time.
Connect eBook Reader, Question Bank, and Assessments Connect Writing includes a thematically-organized eReader of over 120 engaging source texts for reading and writing.
McGraw-Hill provides the foundation with a suite of tools and reporting that help you and your program adapt to students’ needs. Imagine the ability to identify and make real-time curriculum changes that do not require you to change your typical writing assignments or rubrics. Inspire your program, yourself, and your students with the power of better data with Connect© Writing!
Inspire the writing process with McGraw-Hill Digital Solutions.
f d di h fi
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The Question Bank provides questions for each eBook reading designed for holistic assessment of writing skills. Questions have been tagged for topics; learning objectives; mode, purpose, and genre of the reading; academic disciplines; themes; Bloom’s tax- onomy; and more. Extensive fi lters allow instructors to select most readings and questions using these tags.
Additionally, the bank will include four pre-set, cus- tomizable, leveled assessments for use as “moment- in-time” diagnostics. These assessments will test students on the same topics and learning objectives in LearnSmart Achieve. They may be used as Level 1 and Level 2 pre- and post-tests or they may be customized into mid-term and fi nal examinations as well as placement and exit exams using the same fi lters described above.
Writing Assignments with Outcomes-Based Assessment Connect Writing provides powerful tools to facilitate per- formance-based, formative assessment and data collection without changing your writing assignments or rubrics. The out- comes-based tool generates clear, simple reports with visuals that enhance your ability to pinpoint strengths and weaknesses across class sections, a single class, or a series of one stu- dent’s assignments. The reporting capabilities are suitable for program evaluation or accrediting bodies—allowing a variety of stakeholders a view of student progress toward program goals. Customizable grading may be adapted to your needs. These tools ensure that the set-up, management, and reporting around outcomes for your writing assignments is effi cient, professional, and useful to instructors and administrators.
Writing Assignments with Peer Review Connect Writing offers writing assignments with superior peer reviewing capabilities that enable instructors to easily assign and manage groups, deadlines, and workfl ow for peer review exercises. This functionality gives you and your students an engaging space and effi cient process for collaborating online to improve drafts during the crucial revision step in the writing pro- cess. This experience, managed through an easy-to-use online system where students and instructors can offer and review feedback, prepares students for the group writing projects they will encounter in college and the workplace.
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Digital Success Academy
The Digital Success Academy offers a wealth of online training resources and course creation tips for instructors. Broken down into easy-to-navigate sections, the Digital Success Academy offers Connect® 100- and 200- level video clips, Power- Point documents, and Clickthrough Guides that explain how to navigate the Connect platform and how to use course-specifi c features. http://create. mcgraw-hill.com/wordpress-mu/success-academy/
Digital Success Team This dedicated McGraw-Hill group of individuals offer instructors one-on-one online consultations to show them the functionality of the Connect platform and to recommend the best ways to incorporate Connect within a syllabus. To request a Digital Success Team member contact you, please email your McGraw-Hill sales representative. http://catalogs.mhhe.com/mhhe/fi ndRep.do
Digital Learning Consultants Digital Learning Consultants are local specialists who work closely with your McGraw-Hill sales representative. They provide face-to-face faculty
support and training. You may request a Digital Learning Consultation through your McGraw-Hill sales representative.
Digital Faculty Consultants These experienced instructors who have used Connect in their classroom are available to offer training, suggestions, and advice about how best to integrate Connect in the classroom. To request a Digital Faculty Consultant speak with you, please email your McGraw-Hill sales representative.
National Training Webinars McGraw-Hill offers an ongoing series of webinars for instructors to learn about the Connect platform and its course-specifi c tools and features. We hope you will refer to our online schedule of national training webinars and sign up to learn more about Connect!
Customer Experience Group (CXG) This team troubleshoots technical issues and problems. To contact our customer support team, please call us at 800-331-5094 or visit us online at http://mpss.mhhe.com/contact.php
Hours of operation are Sunday 6 p.m.–11 p.m., Monday-Thursday 8 a.m.–11 p.m., and Friday 8 a.m.–6 p.m. Please note that all times are Central.
The Connect Community McGraw-Hill’s Connect Community is a network of passionate educators dedicated to advancing stu- dent learning via the effective use of educational technologies. Please join and participate at http://theconnectcommunity.com
Along with the inspiration for reinventing your course for the 21st Century, McGraw-Hill provides the foundation with services to supp ort your eff ect ive course integration of our tec hnologies .
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COHERENCE
UNITY
SENTENCE SKILLS
SUPPORT
Discover a clearly stated point, or topic sentence, and make sure that all other information in the paragraph or essay supports that point.
Support the points with specific evidence, and plenty of it.
Revise and edit so that sentences are error-free for clearer and more effective communication.
Organize and connect supporting evidence so that paragraphs and essays transition smoothly from one bit of supporting information to the next.
Personal, Academic, and Workplace Writing English Skills with Readings 9/e/English Skills 11/e expose students to examples of writ- ing that refl ect the three key realms of their lives—personal, academic, and workplace.
They will fi nd models, activities, and examples for any writing situation. This variety
provides great fl exibility in the kinds of assignments you prefer to give. Icons identify-
ing personal, academic, and workplace writing are integrated throughout the chapters.
Mastering the Four Bases: Unity, Support, Coherence, Sentence Skills English Skills with Readings 9/e emphasizes writing skills and process. By referring to a set of four skills for effective writing, it encourages new writers to see writing as a skill that can be learned
and a process that must be explored. The four skills, or bases, for effective writing are as follows:
• Unity: Discover a clearly stated point, or topic sentence, and make sure that all other information in the paragraph or essay supports that point.
• Support: Support the points with specific evidence, and plenty of it.
• Coherence: Organize and connect supporting evidence so that paragraphs and essays transition smoothly from one bit of supporting information to the next.
• Sentence skills: Revise and edit so that sentences are error-free for clearer and more effective communication.
The four bases are essential to effective writing, whether it be a narrative paragraph, a cover letter
for a job application, or an essay assignment.
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In addition to maintaining the four bases framework and continuing to build in
many familiar personal writing examples, English Skills with Readings 9/e/English Skills 11/e include the following chapter-by-chapter changes:
Part 1: Fundamentals of Eff ective Writing • Coverage of four bases woven more integrally into treatment of the
writing process
• Coverage of audience and purpose consolidated and repositioned to integrate better with the fundamentals of writing
• Chapter 7: Writing in the Digital Age—New chapter addresses key topics related to the use of technology within the writing process; best practices
for students accessing the Internet, including research procedures
and guidelines for evaluating digital sources; and pragmatic tips and
recommendations for effective use of electronic aids
Part 2: Paragraph Development • Clearer and more consistent heading structure added throughout Part 2
• New sample paragraphs that refl ect academic and workplace writing
• Updated personal writing examples
• New Activities and Writing Assignments that refl ect academic and workplace writing
• Revised writing samples to eliminate use of second-person
Part 3: Essay Development • Coverage of essays with more than three supporting paragraphs
• Revised introductory text with explanation of how multiple modes function together in one essay
• Revised treatment of the use of questions in essay structuring
• Multiple new writing samples, Activities, and Writing Assignments that refl ect academic and workplace writing
• New material on preparing for essay exams
• Inclusion of multiple across-chapter cross-references to related topics
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Part 4: Handbook of Sentence Skills • Chapters covering verbs revised to refl ect better logical fl ow
• Grammar activities and exercises rewritten to incorporate academic and workplace-related themes
• Review Tests reworked to incorporate academic and workplace-related themes
• Revised material frequently focused on one issue so that it reads as a unifi ed passage rather than a set of disconnected statements
• Inclusion of multiple across-chapter cross-references to related topics
• Practice section streamlined to focus on Editing Tests; Combined Mastery Tests now loaded in Create so that instructors have the option to build one
or more into a customized text; both sets of tests thoroughly revised
Part 5: Readings for Writers • Readings updated to include four new selections by diverse and well-
respected authors on high-interest subjects:
“Different Is Just Different” by Suzanne Staples Fisher
“What Students Need to Know about Today’s Job Crisis” by Don Bertram
from A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens “Duel at High Noon: A Replay of Cormier’s Works” by Kathy Neal Headley
• Each new reading accompanied by new full set of questions and assignments
• All assignments refl ect either personal, academic, or workplace-related themes
Appendixes • Section revised to include both Sentence-Skills Diagnostic and
Achievement Tests
• Full coverage of English as a Second Language re-positioned to this section
Th roughout: New Emphasis on Visual Literacy • Thought-provoking captions and prompts challenge students to analyze
photographs and images to deepen critical thinking skills
Research Paper Coverage (Create): • Updated formatting for sample student paper to better represent academic
expectations
• Revised exposition to refl ect updated MLA standards
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xxvi
Book-Specifi c Supplements for Instructors The Annotated Instructor’s Edition consists of the student text, including an- swers to all activities and tests, as well as a complete Instructor’s Guide.
The Online Learning Center (www.mhhe.com/langan) offers a number of instructional materials specifi c to English Skills with Readings 9/e /English Skills 11/e including:
• An Instructor’s Manual comprising Suggested Approaches and Techniques, Answer Keys for all Parts of the text, Supplementary Tests and Activities,
and Portfolio Resources
• Connect Writing Chapter Correlation Grid
• PowerPoint® slides that may be tailored to course needs
• Additional tests covering the contents of each chapter
Create the Perfect Course Materials with Create™ With McGraw-Hill Create, you can easily arrange your book to
align with the syllabus, eliminate chapters you do not assign,
combine material from other content sources, and quickly upload content you
have written, such as your course syllabus or teaching notes, to enhance the
value of course materials for your students. You control the net price of the
book as you build it and have the opportunity to choose format: color, black
and white, and eBook. When you build a CREATE book, you’ll receive a com-
plimentary print review copy in 3 to 5 business days or a complimentary elec-
tronic review copy (eComp) via e-mail in about one hour.
Go to www.mcgrawhillcreate.com and register today!
Connect Learning Management System Integration
Secure
Simple
Seamless
Connect Writing integrates with your local Learning Management System (Blackboard, Desire2Learn, and others).
MH Campus® is a new one-stop teaching and learning experience available
to users of any learning management system. This complimentary integration al-
lows faculty and students to enjoy single sign-on (SSO) access to all McGraw-Hill
Higher Education materials and synchronized grade-books with our award-winning
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RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOUR TEACHING xxvii
McGraw-Hill Connect platform. For more information on MH Campus please visit our website at www.mhcampus.com or contact your local McGraw-Hill representa- tive to fi nd out more about installations on your campus.
Tegrity Tegrity Campus is a service that makes class time available
all the time by automatically capturing every lecture in a
searchable format for students to review when they study and complete assign-
ments. With a simple one-click start and stop process, users capture all computer
screens and corresponding audio. Students replay any part of any class with easy-to-
use browser-based viewing on a PC or Mac. Educators know that the more students
can see, hear, and experience class resources, the better they learn. With Tegrity
Campus, students quickly recall key moments by using Tegrity Campus’s unique
search feature. This search helps students effi ciently fi nd what they need, when they
need it, across an entire semester of class recordings. Help turn all your students’
study time into learning moments immediately supported by your lecture.
CourseSmart This text is available at www. CourseSmart.com as an eTextbook. At CourseSmart your students can take advan-
tage of signifi cant savings off the cost of a print textbook, reduce their impact on
the environment, and gain access to powerful tools for learning. CourseSmart
eTextbooks can be viewed online or downloaded to a computer. CourseSmart offers
free Apps to access the textbooks on SmartPhones and iPads. The eTextbooks allow
students to do full text searches, add highlighting and notes, and share notes with
classmates. CourseSmart has the largest selection of eTextbooks available anywhere.
Visit www.CourseSmart.com to learn more and to try a sample chapter.
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The quality of English Skills with Readings 9/e/ English Skills 11/e is a testament to the sug- gestions and insights from instructors around
the country. Many thanks to all of those who
helped improve this project.
Kristina Beckman-Brito, Pima Community College
Cameron Bentley, Augusta Technical College
Darren DeFrain, Wichita State University
Lowrie Fawley, Keiser University
Holly French Hart, Bossier Parish Community College
Sally Hudson, Keiser University
Tammy McPherson, Hinds Community College
Judy Netherland, Virginia Highlands Community College
Anne Marie Prendergast, Bergen Community College
Jennifer Riske, Northeast Lakeview College
Louisa Rogers, Keiser University
Erin Severs, Mohawk Valley Community College
Patricia Sink, Cumberland County College
Emmie Stokes, Augusta Technical College
Susan Taylor, North Florida Community College
Karen Wright, Glendale Community College
We are also grateful for the talented support
of our developmental team, Merryl Maleska
Wilbur, Development Editor; Kelly Villella-
Canton, Executive Brand Manager; Lisa Pinto,
Executive Director of Development; Dana
Wan, Developmental English Coordinator;
and Wes Hall, text permissions editor. Without
their dedication, guidance, and hard work,
this edition would not have come to fruition.
Working with this group of editors has truly
been a wonderful and educational experience.
We also wish to express gratitude to our
skilled production and design team, includ-
ing Jolynn Kilburg, Content Project Manager;
Debra Kubiak, Designer, Creative Services;
Preston Thomas, interior and cover designer;
and Emily and David Tietz, photo researchers;
as well as Ruma Khurana at MPS Limited.
John Langan
Zoé L. Albright
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P A
R T
College offers many different challenges for students. Knowing your individual strengths and weaknesses can help you be a successful student. Take a few minutes to think about your strengths and weaknesses as a student and jot them down. How can you use this information to be a better student?
P R E V I E W
1 An Introduction to Writing
2 The Four Bases and the Writing Process
3 The First and Second Steps in Writing
4 The Third Step in Writing
5 The Fourth Step in Writing
6 Four Bases for Revising Writing
7 Writing in the Digital Age
Fundamentals of Eff ective Writing
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WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE ABOUT A JOB? Though some of us may manage to fi nd the job of our dreams easily, many of us have had to endure one or two jobs that were more like a nightmare. In this chapter you will read a student’s paragraph about his worst job. Think about the best or worst job you have ever had. Later in the chapter you will be asked to write a paragraph of your own on this topic.
An Introduction to Writing
This chapter will
• introduce you to the basic principles, or four bases, of effective writing
• ask you to write a simple paragraph
• explain the signifi cance of audience and purpose for all writing
• present writing as both a skill and a process of discovery
• suggest that you keep a journal
• suggest a sequence for using this book
C H A P T E R
This book grows out of experiences I had when learning how to write. My
early memories of writing in school are not pleasant. In middle school, I
remember getting back paper after paper on which the only comment was
“Handwriting very poor.” In high school, the night before a book report
was due, I would work anxiously at a card table in my bedroom. I was
nervous and sweaty because I felt out of my element, like a person who
knows only how to open a can of soup being asked to cook a fi ve-course
meal. The act of writing was hard enough, and my feeling that I wasn’t any
good at it made me hate the process all the more.
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Understanding Point and Support An Important Diff erence between Writing and Talking In everyday conversation, you make all kinds of points, or assertions. You
say, for example, “I hate my job”; “Sue’s a really generous person”; or “That
exam was unfair.” The points that you make concern such personal matters
as well as, at times, larger issues: “A lot of doctors are arrogant”; “The death
penalty should exist for certain crimes”; “Tobacco and marijuana are equally
dangerous.”
The people you are talking with do not always challenge you to give reasons
for your statements. They may know why you feel as you do, or they may already
Luckily, in college I had an instructor who changed my negative at-
titude about writing. During my fi rst semester in composition, I realized
that my instructor repeatedly asked two questions about any paper I wrote:
“What is your point?” and “What is your support for that point?” I learned
that sound writing consists basically of making a point and then providing
evidence to support or develop that point. As I understood, practiced, and
mastered these and other principles, I began to write effective papers. By
the end of the semester, much of my uneasiness and bad feelings about
writing had disappeared. I knew that competent writing is a skill that I or
anyone can learn with practice. It is a nuts-and-bolts process consisting of
a number of principles and techniques that can be studied and mastered.
Further, I learned that while there is no alternative to the work required for
competent writing, there is satisfaction to be gained through such work.
I no longer feared or hated writing, for I knew I could work at it and be
good at it.
English Skills with Readings explains in a clear and direct way the four basic principles you must learn to write effectively:
1. Start with a clearly stated point.
2. Provide logical, detailed support for your point.
3. Organize and connect your supporting material.
4. Revise and edit so that your sentences are effective and error-free.
Part 1 of this book explains each of these four bases of effective writ-
ing in detail and provides many practice materials to help you achieve
them.
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4 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
agree with you, or they simply may not want to put you on the spot; so they do
not always ask “Why?” But the people who read what you write may not know you, agree with you, or feel in any way obliged to you. If you want to commu-
nicate effectively with readers, you must provide solid evidence for any point
you make. An important difference, then, between writing and talking is this: In writing, any idea that you advance must be supported with specifi c reasons or details.
Think of your readers as reasonable people. They will not take your views
on faith, but they are willing to consider what you say as long as you support it. Therefore, remember to support with specifi c evidence any statement that you
make.
Point and Support in a Paragraph Suppose you and a friend are talking about jobs you have had. You might say about
a particular job, “That was the worst one I ever had. A lot of hard work and not
much money.” For your friend, that might be enough to make your point, and you
would not really have to explain your statement. But in writing, your point would
have to be backed up with specifi c reasons and details.
Below is a paragraph, written by a student named Gene Hert, about his worst
job. A paragraph is a short paper of 150 to 200 words. It usually consists of an opening point called a topic sentence followed by a series of sentences supporting that point.
My Job in an Apple Plant
Working in an apple plant was the worst job I ever had. First of all, the work was physically hard. For ten hours a night, I took cartons that rolled down a metal track and stacked them onto wooden skids in a tractor trailer. Each carton contained twenty-fi ve pounds of bottled apple juice, and they came down the track almost nonstop. The second bad feature of the job was the pay. I was getting the minimum wage at that time, $4.50 an hour, plus fi fty cents extra for working the night shift. I had to work over sixty hours a week to get decent take-home pay. Finally, I hated the working conditions. We were limited to two ten-minute breaks and an unpaid half hour for lunch. Most of my time was spent outside on the loading dock in near-zero-degree temperatures. I was very lonely on the job because I had no interests in common with the other truck loaders. I felt this isolation especially when the production line shut down for the night, and I spent two hours by myself cleaning the apple vats. The vats were an ugly place to be on a cold morning, and the job was a bitter one to have.
W
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Notice what the details in this paragraph do. They provide you, the reader, with
a basis for understanding why the writer makes the point that is made. Through this specifi c evidence, the writer has explained and successfully communicated the
idea that this job was his worst one.
The evidence that supports the point in a paragraph often consists of a series
of reasons followed by examples and details that support the reasons. That is
true of the paragraph above: Three reasons are provided, with examples and de-
tails that back up those reasons. Supporting evidence in a paper can also consist
of anecdotes, personal experiences, facts, studies, statistics, and the opinions of
experts.
The paragraph on the apple plant, like almost any piece of effective writing, has
two essential parts: (1) a point is advanced, and (2) that point is then supported.
Taking a minute to outline the paragraph will help you understand these basic parts
clearly. Add the words needed to complete the outline.
Point: Working in an apple plant is the worst job I ever had.
Reason 1:
a. Loaded cartons onto skids for ten hours a night
b.
Reason 2:
a.
b. Had to work sixty hours for decent take-home pay
Reason 3:
a. Two ten-minute breaks and an unpaid lunch
b.
c. Loneliness on job
(1) No interests in common with other workers
(2) By myself for two hours cleaning the apple vats
ACTIVITY 1
ACTIVITY 2 See if you can complete the statements below.
1. An important difference between writing and talking is that in writing we ab-
solutely must ___________________ any statement we make.
2. A ___________________ is made up of a point and a collection of specifi cs
that support the point.
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6 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
An excellent way to get a feel for the paragraph is to write one. Your instructor
may ask you to do that now. The only guidelines you need to follow are the ones
described here. There is an advantage to writing a paragraph right away, at a point
where you have had almost no instruction. This fi rst paragraph will give a quick
sense of your needs as a writer and will provide a baseline—a standard of compari-
son that you and your instructor can use to measure your writing progress during
the semester.
Here, then, is your topic: Write a paragraph on the best or worst job you have
ever had. Provide three reasons why your job was the best or the worst, and give
plenty of details to develop each of your three reasons.
Notice that the sample paragraph, “My Job in an Apple Plant,” has the
same format your paragraph should have. You should do what this author has
done:
• State a point in the fi rst sentence.
• Give three reasons to support the point.
• Introduce each reason clearly with signal words (such as First of all, Second, and Finally).
• Provide details that develop each of the three reasons.
Benefi ts of Paragraph Writing Paragraph writing offers three benefi ts. First, mastering the structure of paragraphs
will make you a better writer. For other courses, you’ll often write pieces that are
variations on the paragraph—for example, exam answers, summaries, response
papers, and brief reports. In addition, paragraphs serve as the basic building blocks
of essays, the most common form of college writing. The basic structure of the
traditional paragraph, with its emphasis on a clear point and well-organized logical
support, will help you write effective essays and almost every kind of paper that
you will have to do.
Second, writing paragraphs strengthens your skills as a reader and listener.
You’ll become more aware of the ideas of other writers and speakers and the evi-
dence they provide—or fail to provide—to support those ideas.
Most important, paragraph writing will make you a stronger thinker.
Writing a solidly reasoned paragraph requires mental discipline. Creating a
paragraph with an overall topic sentence supported by well-reasoned, con-
vincing evidence is more challenging than writing a free-form or expressive
paper. Such a paragraph requires you to sort out, think through, and organize
ideas carefully. Traditional paragraph writing, in short, will train your mind to
think clearly, and that ability will prove to be of value in every phase of your
life.
ACTIVITY 3
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Writing as a Way to Communicate with Others: Considering Audience and Purpose When you talk, chances are you do not treat everyone the same. For example, you
are unlikely to speak to your boss in the same way that you chat with a young child.
Instead, you adjust what you say to suit the people who are listening to you—your
audience. Similarly you probably change your speech each day to suit whatever purpose you have in mind when you are speaking. For instance, if you wanted to tell someone how to get to your new apartment, you would speak differently than
if you were describing your favorite movie.
To communicate effectively, people must constantly adjust their speech to suit
their audience and purpose. The same idea is true for writing. When you write for
others, it is crucial to know both your purpose for writing and the audience who
will be reading your work. The ability to adjust your writing to suit your purpose
and audience will serve you well not only in the classroom, but in the workplace
and beyond.
Purpose The three most common purposes of writing are to inform, to persuade, and to entertain. Each is described briefl y below.
• To inform—to give information about a subject. Authors writing to inform want to provide facts that will explain or teach something to readers. For
example, an informative paragraph about sandwiches might begin, “Eating
food between two slices of bread—a sandwich—is a practice that has its
origins in eighteenth-century England.”
• To persuade—to convince the reader to agree with the author’s point of view on a subject. Authors writing to persuade may give facts, but their
main goal is to argue or prove a point to readers. A persuasive paragraph
about sandwiches might begin, “There are good reasons why every
sandwich should be made with whole grain bread.”
• To entertain—to amuse and delight; to appeal to the reader’s senses and imagination. Authors write to entertain in various ways, through fi ction
and nonfi ction. An entertaining paragraph about sandwiches might begin,
“What I wanted was a midnight snack, but what I got was better—the
biggest, most magical sandwich in the entire world.”
Considering Purpose within Diff erent Contexts Of course, the purpose of completing any college writing assignment is to fulfi ll a course requirement and get a grade. But all writing—whether done for a class, a
job, or any other reason—is aimed at accomplishing something far more specifi c.
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8 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
In most cases, you will be given an assignment that explains or at least hints at that
purpose. You will be able to spot clues about purpose by looking for key words in
the assignment such as defi ne, contrast, argue, illustrate, or explain causes and/ or effects.
For example, an assignment for a history paper might ask you to explain the causes of World War I. An essay question on a biology midterm might call for
the defi nition of photosynthesis. A political science assignment might ask you to contrast the parliamentary system of government used in several European nations with the federal system used in the United States. If you are enrolled in a techni-
cal writing course, you might be asked to describe a machine or analyze a natural or mechanical process. Each of these tasks asks you to accomplish a specifi c aim.
Having a clear idea of your purpose is just as important for writing you do
outside of college (what many call “real-world writing”). For example, say your
employer asks you to write a report that recommends the purchase of a particular
model of photocopier from a choice of three. You fi rst might have to contrast each on the basis of cost, ease of use, features, and reliability. Then you might have
to argue that even though copier A is more expensive than copiers B and C, it is preferable because it will work best with your company’s computers. Note that un-
like a college writing assignment, the job you have been given by your employer
does not specify the approaches (contrasting and arguing) you will have to take to complete the project. You will have to fi gure that out for yourself by considering
the writing’s purpose before you begin.
As you start gathering information for your paragraph or essay, keep your pur-
pose in mind. You might want to read your assignment several times, looking for
key words such as those mentioned above, and then summarize your purpose in a
short sentence of your own on a piece of scrap paper. Keep this sentence in front of
you throughout the prewriting stage.
Much of the writing assigned in this book will involve some form of argu-
mentation or persuasion. You will advance a point or thesis and then support it in a
variety of ways. To some extent, also, you will write papers to inform—to provide
readers with information about a particular subject. And since, in practice, writing
often combines purposes, you might also fi nd yourself providing vivid or humor-
ous details in order to entertain your readers.
Audience The audience for a piece of writing is its reader or readers, and like purpose, audi- ence should be considered early in the writing process. In college, your primary
audience will be your instructor. Your instructor, though, is really representative of
the larger audience you should see yourself as writing for—an audience of edu-
cated adults who expect you to present your ideas in a clear, direct, organized way.
Some instructors will also require you to share your work with other students,
either in small groups or with the class as a whole. In some cases, your writing will
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be judged on how well it informs or persuades your classmates. Therefore, you
must keep them in mind as you write. Other academic situations in which you will
want to keep your audience in mind include writing a letter to a college newspaper
to express an opinion, applying for transfer to another college, or applying for a
scholarship.
After you graduate, you will have ample opportunity to write to a wide range
of audiences. This is when you will have to pay even more attention to evaluat-
ing your audience. For example, careers in science and the technologies require
employees to write to other experts, who may know a great deal about the sub-
ject. On the other hand, scientists and technologists are often required to write
to laypersons, whose knowledge of a subject might vary from adequate to non-
existent. The same is true of those who pursue careers in business, law enforce-
ment, the legal and medical professions, the military, education, or government
work.
Let’s say you get a job in a town’s public works department as a civil engineer
and the town decides to change a two-lane road to a four-lane road. You may be
asked to write a letter to residents who live along that road explaining why the
job is necessary, what will be done, how long it will take, and why they may ex-
perience delays in getting home during construction. Explaining such a project to
another civil engineer might not be diffi cult, since he or she will know about the
technicalities of traffi c studies, road grading, and paving. Your explanation will be
fairly straightforward and will use technical terminology that this reader is sure to
understand. In addition, you won’t have to convince your engineering colleague
that the inconvenience to residents will be worthwhile; it will be obvious to him
or her that the improvements will make the road much safer. However, if you were
writing to the residents—people who may not have any knowledge about road
construction and repair—you would avoid using technical terminology, which they
might not understand. In addition, you might have to make a real effort to convince
these readers that the inconvenience they will experience during construction is
worth the outcome—a much safer road.
Evaluating the Nature of Your Audience Here are a few questions you should ask yourself when evaluating any audience.
The answers to these questions will help you determine your approach to any writ-
ing project.
1. How much does the audience already know about the subject? If you assume that your readers know very little, you might bore them with too much basic
information. But, if you assume that they know more than they do, you might
confuse them by using unfamiliar technical terminology or neglecting to pro-
vide enough informative detail.
2. Why might the reader need or want to read this material? In college, your English professor will use your papers to evaluate your writing skills and
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10 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
determine how you can strengthen them. He or she will probably also use
them to establish your course grade. If, however, you are writing to a group
of residents whose road is going to be closed for improvements, you will
have to meet different expectations. They will want to know why the im-
provements are being made, how long the work will take, and what benefi ts
they will reap from it. As taxpayers, they may also want to know how much
the repaving will cost.
3. Is your purpose simply to inform the audience? Or is it to convince readers of something as well? If your purpose is to convince or persuade, you may want to use some of the techniques for writing arguments in Chapter 16. For exam-
ple, if you are writing a letter to the editor of your local newspaper in support
of the new school budget, you may have to persuade voters to approve the
budget even though it is sure to raise their property taxes.
4. What type of language should be used? Are you writing to peers, other col- lege students? Or are you communicating with professors, business and com-
munity leaders, or government offi cials? With peers, you might want to use
language that is relaxed, friendly, and informal, language that will win their
confi dence. If you’re writing to a professor, a government offi cial, or an em-
ployer, you will have to be more formal. (You can read more about effective
word choice in Chapter 40.)
In addition to focusing on audience and purpose in your writing, you should always consider your knowledge of your subject. Whenever possible, write on a subject that interests you. If you do, you will fi nd it easier to put more time into your work. Even more important, try to write on a subject that you already know something about. If you do not have direct experience with the subject, you should at least have indirect experience— knowledge gained through thinking, prewriting, reading, or talking about the subject. If you are asked to write on a topic about which you have no experience or knowledge, you should do whatever research is required to gain the information you need. You will fi nd many references to doing research in this book, as well as a full chapter on the topic on the CREATE site. Without direct or indirect experience, or the information you gain through research, you may not be able to provide the specifi c evidence needed to develop whatever point you are trying to make. Your writing will be starved for specifi cs.
TI P
A Note on Tone It will be helpful for you to write some papers for a more specifi c audience. By
doing so, you will develop an ability to choose words and adopt a tone of voice
that is just right for a given purpose and a given group of people. Tone reveals the
attitude that a writer has toward a subject. It is expressed through the words and
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details the writer selects. Just as a speaker’s voice can project a range of feelings, a
writer’s voice can project one or more tones, or feelings: anger, sympathy, hopeful-
ness, sadness, respect, dislike, and so on.
To appreciate differences in tone, look at the six statements below, which express
different attitudes about a shabby apartment. Six different tones are used. Label
each statement with the tone you think is present.
_____ 1. This place may be shabby, but since both of my children were born
while we lived here, it has a special place in my heart.
_____ 2. The apartment is not fancy, but it meets my needs.
_____ 3. If only there were some decent jobs out there, I wouldn’t be reduced to
living in this miserable dump.
_____ 4. This place does need some repairs, but I’m sure the landlord will be
making improvements sometime soon.
_____ 5. When we move away, we’re planning to release three hundred cock-
roaches and two mice, so we can leave the place exactly as we found it.
_____ 6. It’s a small two-bedroom apartment that needs to be repainted and have
the kitchen plumbing repaired.
a. bitter c. matter-of-fact e. tolerant and accepting
b. sentimental d. humorous f. optimistic and hopeful
ACTIVITY 4
E X P L A N AT I O N
The tone of item 1 is sentimental. “It has a special place in my heart” expresses tender emotions. In item 2, the words “meets my needs” show that the writer is tolerant, accepting the situation while recognizing that it could be better. We could describe the tone of item 3 as bitter. The writer resents a situation that forces him or her to live in a “miserable dump.” Item 4 is optimistic and hope- ful, since the writer is expecting the apartment to be improved soon. The tone of item 5 is humorous. Its writer claims to be planning a comic revenge on the landlord. The tone of item 6 is matter-of-fact and objective, simply describing what needs to be done.
Th e “Purpose and Audience” Assignments In all the Part 2 chapters and occasionally elsewhere in this book you will fi nd a dedi-
cated assignment that asks you to write with a very specifi c purpose in mind and for
a very specifi c audience. You will be asked, for example, to imagine yourself as an
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12 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
aide at a day care center preparing instructions for children, as a high school graduate
explaining to the school’s principal why the school deserves a high or low rating, as
an apartment tenant complaining to a landlord about neighbors, as a reporter for your
college newspaper describing a potential vacation spot, and as an employee describ-
ing a new job opening at your workplace. Through these and other assignments, you
will learn to adjust your style and tone of voice to a given writing situation.
Writing as a Skill A sure way not to learn how to write competently is to believe that writing is a
“natural gift” rather than a learned skill. People who think this way feel that ev-
eryone else fi nds writing easy and that they’re “just not good at it.” The result of
this attitude is that people try to avoid writing and, when they do write, to do less
than their best. Their attitude becomes a self-fulfi lling prophecy: Their writing fails
chiefl y because they have brainwashed themselves into thinking that they don’t
have the “natural talent” needed to write.
But writing is a skill, and like most other skills, such as typing, driving, or
cooking, it can be learned. If you have the determination to learn, this book will
give you the practice you need to develop good writing skills.
Of course, it’s frightening to sit down before a blank sheet of paper or com-
puter screen and know that, an hour later, you may not have written a lot worth
keeping. Transforming thoughts from one’s head into words on a sheet of paper
can be a challenge, and at times it can be frustrating. But writing is not an auto-
matic process—we will not get something for nothing, and we shouldn’t expect
to. For almost everyone, competent writing comes only from plain hard work—
determination and sweat. It is a head-on battle. The good news is that you can do
it if you are ready to work hard.
To get a sense of just how you regard writing, read the following statements. Put a
check (✓) beside those statements with which you agree. This activity is not a test, so try to be as honest as possible.
_______ 1. A good writer should be able to sit down and write a paper straight
through without stopping.
_______ 2. Writing is a skill that anyone can learn with practice.
_______ 3. I’ll never be good at writing because I make too many mistakes in
spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
_______ 4. Because I dislike writing, I always start a paper at the last possible
minute.
_______ 5. I’ve always done poorly in English, and I don’t expect that to change.
ACTIVITY 5
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Now read the following comments about the fi ve statements. The comments
will help you see if your attitude is hurting or helping your efforts to become a
better writer.
COMMENTS • Statement 1: “A good writer should be able to sit down and write a paper
straight through without stopping.” Statement 1 is not true. Writing is, in fact, a process. It is done not in
one easy step but in a series of steps, and seldom at one sitting. If you cannot
do a paper all at once, that simply means you are like most of the other
people on the planet. It is harmful to carry around the false idea that writing
should be easy.
• Statement 2: “Writing is a skill that anyone can learn with practice.” Statement 2 is absolutely true. Writing is a skill, like driving or word
processing, that you can master with hard work. If you want to learn to
write, you can. It is as simple as that. If you believe this, you are ready to
learn how to become a competent writer.
Some people hold the false belief that writing is a natural gift that some
have and others do not. Because of this belief, they never make a truly
honest effort to learn to write—so they never learn.
• Statement 3: “I’ll never be good at writing because I make too many mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.”
The fi rst concern in good writing should be content—what you have to
say. Your ideas and feelings are what matter most. You should not worry about
spelling, grammar, or punctuation while working on content.
Unfortunately, some people are so self-conscious about making mistakes
that they do not focus on what they want to say. They need to realize that a
paper is best done in stages, and that applying the rules can and should wait
until a later stage in the writing process. Through review and practice, you will
eventually learn how to follow the rules with confi dence.
• Statement 4: “Because I dislike writing, I always start a paper at the last possible minute.”
This habit is all too common. You feel you are going to do poorly, and
then you behave in a way that ensures you will do poorly! Your attitude is so negative that you defeat yourself—not even allowing enough time to really
try.
Again, what you need to realize is that writing is a process. Because it is
done in steps, you don’t have to get it right all at once. If you allow yourself
enough time, you’ll fi nd a way to make a paper come together.
• Statement 5: “I’ve always done poorly in English, and I don’t expect that to change.”
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14 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Even if you did poorly in English in high school, it is in your power to
make English one of your best subjects in college. If you believe writing can
be learned, work hard at it! You will become a better writer! Your attitude is crucial. If you continue to believe you will never be a good
writer, chances are good that you will not improve. If you start believing that
you can improve, chances are excellent that you will improve.
Writing as a Process of Discovery In addition to believing that writing is a natural gift, many people believe, mistak-
enly, that writing should fl ow in a simple, straight line from the writer’s head onto
the page. But writing is seldom an easy, one-step journey in which a fi nished paper
comes out in a fi rst draft. The truth is that writing is a process of discovery that involves a series of steps, and those steps are usually a zigzag journey that often
result in starting over at some point in the process. Look at the following illustra-
tions of the writing process:
Seldom the Case Starting point Finished paper
Usually the Case
Starting point Finished paper
Very often, writers do not discover exactly what they want to write about until
they explore their thoughts in writing. For example, Gene Hert had been asked to
write about a best or worst job. Only after he did some freewriting on good and bad
jobs did he realize that the most interesting details centered on his job at an apple
plant. He discovered his subject in the course of writing.
Another student, Rhonda, talking afterward about a paper she wrote, explained
that at fi rst her topic was how she relaxed with her children. But as she accumulated
details, she realized after a page of writing that the words relax and children simply did not go together. Her details were really examples of how she enjoyed her chil- dren, not how she relaxed with them. She sensed that the real focus of her writing should be what she did by herself to relax, and then she thought suddenly that the
best time of her week was Thursday after school. “A light clicked on in my head,” she
explained. “I knew I had my paper.” Then it was a matter of detailing exactly what
she did to relax on Thursday evenings. Her paper, “How I Relax,” is on page 90.
The point is that writing is often a process of continuing discovery. As you
write, you may suddenly switch direction or double back. You may be working on
a topic sentence and realize suddenly that it could be your concluding thought. Or
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you may be developing a supporting idea and then decide that it should be the main
point of your paper. Chapter 2 treats the writing process directly. What is important
to remember here is that writers frequently do not know their exact destination as
they begin to write. Very often they discover the direction and shape of a paper
during the process of writing.
Keeping a Journal Because writing is a skill, it makes sense that the more you practice writing, the
better you will write. One excellent way to get practice in writing, even before you
begin composing formal paragraphs, is to keep a daily or almost daily journal. Writ-
ing a journal will help you develop the habit of thinking on paper and will show you
how ideas can be discovered in the process of writing. A journal can make writing
a familiar part of your life and can serve as a continuing source of ideas for papers.
At some point during the day—perhaps during a study period after your last
class of the day, or right before dinner, or right before going to bed—spend fi fteen
minutes or so writing in your journal. Keep in mind that you do not have to plan
what to write about, or be in the mood to write, or worry about making mistakes
as you write; just write down whatever words come out. You should write at least
one page in each session.
You may want to use a notebook that you can easily carry with you for on-the-
spot writing. Or you may decide to write on loose-leaf paper that can be transferred
later to a journal folder on your desk.
Many students choose to keep electronic
journals on their computers or online
through livejournal.com or a similar
Web site. No matter how you proceed,
be sure to date all entries.
Your instructor may ask you to make
journal entries a specifi c number of times
a week, for a specifi c number of weeks.
He or she may have you turn in your jour-
nal every so often for review and feed-
back. If you are keeping the journal on
your own, try to make entries three to fi ve
times a week every week of the semester.
Your journal can serve as a sourcebook of
ideas for possible papers. More important,
keeping a journal will help you develop
the habit of thinking on paper, and it can
help you make writing a familiar part of
your life.
INSPIRATION TO WRITE COMES IN MANY WAYS AND at many different times. Do you think that using a handwritten versus an electronic journal might affect the notes and observations one makes? Which do you prefer and why?
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16 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Following is an excerpt from one student’s journal. (Sentence-skills mistakes have
been corrected to improve readability.) As you read, look for a general point and
for supporting material that could be the basis for an interesting paper.
ACTIVITY 6
October 6
Today a woman came into our department at the store and wanted to know if we
had any scrap lumber ten feet long. Ten feet ! “Lady,” I said, “anything we have that’s
ten feet long sure as hec k isn’t scrap.” When the boss heard me say that, he almost
canned me. My boss is a company man, down to his toe tips. He wants to make a
big impress ion on his boss es , and he’ll run us around like mad all night to make
himself look good. He’s the most ambitious man I’ve ever met . If I don’t transfer out
of Hardware soon, I’m going to go crazy on this job. I’m not ready to quit, though. Th e
time is not right. I want to be here for a year and have anot her job lined up and have
ot her things right before I quit. It’s good the boss wasn’t around tonight wh en anot her
customer wanted me to carr y a bookcase he had bought out to his car. He didn’t ask
me to help him—he ex pect ed me to help him. I hate that kind of “You’re my servant”
att itude, and I told him that carr ying stuff out to cars wasn’t my job. Ordinarily I go
out of my way to give people a hand, but not guys like him. . . .
• If the writer of this journal is looking for an idea for a paper, he can
probably fi nd several in this single entry. For example, he might write a
narrative supporting the point that “In my sales job I have to deal with
some irritating customers.” See if you can fi nd another idea in this entry
that might be the basis for an interesting paragraph. Write your point in the
space below.
• Take fi fteen minutes to prepare a journal entry right now on this day in
your life. On a separate sheet of paper, just start writing about anything
that you have said, heard, thought, or felt, and let your thoughts take you
where they may.
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Using This Text Here is a suggested sequence for using this book if you are working on your own.
1. After completing this introduction, read the next fi ve chapters in Part 1
and work through as many of the activities as you need to master the ideas
in these chapters. At that point, you will have covered all the basic theory
needed to write effective papers.
2. Turn to Appendix B and take the diagnostic test. The test will help you deter-
mine what sentence skills you need to review. Study those skills one or two
at a time while you continue to work on other parts of the book. These skills
will help you write effective, error-free sentences.
3. What you do next depends on course requirements, individual needs, or both.
You will want to practice at least several different kinds of paragraph develop-
ment in Part 2. If your time is limited, be sure to include “Exemplifi cation”
(pages 184–198), “Process” (pages 199–213), “Comparison and/or Contrast”
(pages 229–249), and “Argument” (pages 305–322).
4. After you develop skill in writing effective paragraphs, go on to practice
writing one or more of the several-paragraph essays described in Part 3.
5. In numerous sections throughout the book, you will fi nd helpful information
for projects that involve research.
Remember that, for your convenience, the book includes the following:
• On the inside back cover, there is a checklist of the four basic principles,
or four bases, of effective writing.
• On page 542, there is a list of commonly used correction symbols.
Get into the habit of referring to these guides regularly; they’ll help you produce
clearly thought-out, well-written papers.
English Skills with Readings will help you learn, practice, and apply the think- ing and writing skills you need to communicate effectively. But the starting point
must be your determination to do the work needed to become a strong writer. The
ability to express yourself clearly and logically can open doors of opportunity for
you, both in school and in your career. If you decide—and only you can decide— that you want such language power, this book will help you reach that goal.
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HOW DO YOU BEGIN WRITING? Getting started is often the hardest part of writing. You may have looked and felt like the student pictured here many times when working on a writing assignment. What specifi c methods could this student use to help get ideas fl owing? As you will learn in this chapter, using various prewriting techniques can help make the writing process a lot easier.
This chapter will
• explain and illustrate the sequence of steps in writing an effective paragraph
• prewriting
• revising
• editing
• show you how to conduct a peer review and personal review
The Four Bases and the Writing Process
C H A P T E R
Chapter 1 introduced you to the paragraph form and some fundamen-
tals of writing, including the four basic principles, or four bases, of ef-
fective writing. This chapter explains and illustrates the sequence of
steps—based on those principles—that you’ll need to write an effective
paragraph. In particular, the chapter gives special emphasis to prewrit-
ing and revising— strategies that can help with every paragraph that you
write.
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For many people, writing is a process that involves the following steps:
Learning this sequence will help give you confi dence when the time
comes to write. You’ll know that you can use prewriting as a way to think
on paper (or at the keyboard) and to discover gradually what ideas you
want to develop, and then when you are ready, to use those ideas to write
a fi rst draft. You’ll realize that you can use revising to rework a paragraph
until it is strong and effective. And you’ll be able to edit a paragraph so
that your sentences are clear and error-free.
Throughout the process, you’ll understand that there are four clear-cut
goals to aim for—unity, support, organization, and error-free sentences:
1. Discovering a point—often through prewriting.
2. Developing solid support for the point—often through more
prewriting.
3. Organizing the supporting material and writing it out in a
fi rst draft.
4. Revising and then editing carefully to ensure an effective,
error-free paper.
Four Steps 1. If you make one point and
stick to that point,
2. If you back up the point
with specifi c evidence,
3. If you organize and connect
the specifi c evidence,
4. If you write clear, error-free
sentences,
Four Bases
your writing will have unity.
your writing will have support.
your writing will have coherence.
your writing will demonstrate
effective sentence skills.
Prewriting If you are like many people, you may have trouble getting started writing.
A mental block may develop when you sit down before a blank sheet of paper or
a blank screen. You may not be able to think of an interesting topic or a point to
make about your topic. Or you may have trouble coming up with specifi c details
to support your point. And even after starting a paragraph, you may hit snags—
moments when you wonder “What else can I say?” or “Where do I go next?”
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20 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
The following pages describe fi ve techniques that will help you think about and
develop a topic and get words on paper: (1) freewriting, (2) questioning, (3) making
a list, (4) clustering, and (5) summarizing. These prewriting techniques help you
think about and create material, and they are a central part of the writing process.
Technique 1: Freewriting When you do not know what to write about a subject or when you are blocked in
writing, freewriting sometimes helps. In freewriting, you write on your topic for ten minutes. You do not worry about spelling or punctuating correctly, about erasing
mistakes, about organizing material, or about fi nding exact words. You just write
without stopping. If you get stuck for words, you write “I am looking for some-
thing to say” or repeat words until you think of something. There is no need to feel
inhibited, since mistakes do not count and you do not have to hand in your paper. Freewriting will limber up your writing muscles and make you familiar with
the act of writing. It is a way to break through mental blocks about writing. Since
you do not have to worry about mistakes, you can focus on discovering what you
want to say about a subject. Your initial ideas and impressions will often become
clearer after you have gotten them down on paper, and they may lead to other im-
pressions and ideas. Through continued practice in freewriting, you will develop
the habit of thinking as you write. And you will learn a technique that is a helpful
way to get started on almost any paragraph.
Freewriting: A Student Model Gene Hert’s paragraph “My Job in an Apple Plant” on page 4 was written in response
to an assignment to write a paragraph on the best or worst job he ever had. Gene began
by doing some general freewriting and thinking about his jobs. Here is his freewriting:
I have had good and bad jobs, that’s for sure. It was great earning money for the fi rst
time. I shoveled snow for my neighber, a fr iend of mine and I did the work and had
snowball fi ghts along the way. I remember my neighber reaching into his pocket and
pulling out several dollars and handing us the money , it was like magic. Th en there
was the lawnmowing, wh ich was also a good job. I mowed my aunts lawn wh ile she was
away at work. Th en I’d go sit by myself in her cool living room and have a coke she left
in the refr igarator for me. And look through all her magazines . Th en there was the app le
plant job I had aft er high school. Th at was a worst job that left me tot aly wiped out at
the end of my shift . Lift ing cartons and cartons of app le juice for boss es that treated us
continued
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Chapter 2 The Four Bases and the Writing Process 21 C
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At this point, Gene read over his notes, and as he later commented, “I realized
that I had several potential topics. I said to myself, ‘What point can I make that I
can cover in a paragraph? What do I have the most information about?’ I decided
to narrow my topic down to my awful job at the apple plant. I fi gured I would have
lots of interesting details for that topic.” Gene then did a more focused freewriting
to accumulate details for a paragraph on his bad job:
Th e job I remember most is the worst job I ever had. I worked in an app le plant,
I put in very long hours and would be tot aly beat aft er ten hours of work. All the
time lift ing cartons of app le juice wh ich would come racing down a met al track. Th e
guy with me was a bit lazy at times , and I would be one man doing a two-man job.
Th e cartons would go into a tracter trailer, we would have to throw down wooden
skids to put the cartons on, then wed have to move the met al track as we fi lled up
the truck. Th ere is no ot her job I have had that even compares to this job, it was a lot
worse than it seems. Th e boss es treated us like slaves and the company paid us like
slaves . I would work all night fr om 7 P.M. and drive home in the morning at 5 A.M.
and be bone tired. I remember my arms and sholders were so tired aft er the fi rst
night. I had trouble turning the steering wh eel of my father’s car.
Notice that there are problems with spelling, grammar, and punctuation in
Gene’s freewriting. Gene was not worried about such matters, nor should he have
been. At this stage, he just wanted to do some thinking on paper and get some
material down on the page. He knew that this was a good fi rst step, a good way of
getting started, and that he would then be able to go on to shape that material.
You should take the same approach when freewriting: Explore your topic with-
out worrying at all about being “correct.” Figuring out what you want to say and
getting raw material down on the page should have all of your attention at this early
stage of the writing process.
like slaves . Th e cartons coming and coming all night long. I started early in the evening
and fi nished the next morning. I still remember how tired I was. Driving back home the
fi rst time. Th at was a lonely job and a hard job and I don’t eat app les anymore.
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22 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Technique 2: Questioning In questioning, you generate ideas and details by asking as many questions as you can think of about your subject. Such questions include Why? When? Where? Who? How? In what ways?
Here are questions that Gene Hert asked while further developing his paragraph.
Questioning: A Student Model
Ques tions Answers
What did I hate about Very hard work.
the job? Poor pay. Mean boss es .
How was the work hard? Nonstop cartons of app le juice.
Cartons bec ame very heavy.
Why was pay poor? $4.50 an hour (minimum wage at the time). Only
fi ft y cents more for working the sec ond shift . Only
good money was in overtime—wh ere you got time-
and-a-half. No double time.
How were the boss es Yelled at some workers.
mean? Showed no app rec iation.
Created bad working conditions.
In wh at ways were Unheated truck in zero-degree weather.
working conditions bad? Floor of tractor trailer was cold steel.
Breaks were limited—only two of them.
Lonely job.
Asking questions can be an effective way of getting yourself to think about a
topic from different angles. The questions can help you generate details about a
topic and get ideas on how to organize those details. Notice how asking questions
gives Gene a better sense of the different reasons why he hated the job.
To get a sense of the freewriting process, take a sheet of paper and freewrite about
different jobs you have had and what you liked or did not like about them. See how
much material you can accumulate in ten minutes. Remember not to worry about
“mistakes”; you are just thinking on paper.
Read over the material that you generated and decide which job you have the
most information about. Then do more focused freewriting on that particular job.
ACTIVITY 1
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Chapter 2 The Four Bases and the Writing Process 23 C
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Technique 3: Making a List In making a list, also known as brainstorming, you create a list of ideas and details that relate to your subject. Pile these items up, one after another, without trying to
sort out major details from minor ones, or trying to put the details in any special
order, or even trying to spell words correctly. Your goal is to accumulate raw mate-
rial by making up a list of everything about your subject that occurs to you.
After freewriting and questioning, Gene made up the following list of details.
Making a List: A Student Model
App le factory job—worst one I ever had
Boss es were mean
Working conditions were poor
Went to work at 5 P.M., got back at 7 A.M.
Lift ed cartons of app le juice for ten hours
Cartons were heavy
Only two ten-minute breaks a night
Pay was only $4.50 an hour
Just fi ft y cents ext ra for night shift
Cost of gas money to and fr om work
No pay for lunch break
Had to work 60 hours for good take-home pay
Loaded onto wooden skids in a truck
Boss es yelled at some workers
Temperature zero outside
Floors of trucks ice-cold met al
Nonstop pace
Had to clean app le vats aft er work
Slept, ate, and worked—no social life
No real fr iends at work
To get a feel for the questioning process, use a sheet of paper to ask yourself a se-
ries of questions about your best and worst jobs. What did you like about the jobs?
What did you dislike? What were the working conditions like? See how many
details you can accumulate in ten minutes. Remember not to be concerned about
“mistakes” because you are just thinking on paper.
ACTIVITY 2
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24 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
One detail led to another as Gene expanded his list. Slowly but surely, more
details emerged, some of which he could use in developing his paragraph. By the
time he had fi nished his list, he was ready to plan an outline of his paragraph and
then to write his fi rst draft.
To get a sense of making a list, use a sheet of paper to list a series of details about
one of the best or worst jobs you ever had. Don’t worry about deciding whether the
details are major or minor; instead, just get down as many details as you can think
of in fi ve or ten minutes.
ACTIVITY 3
Technique 4: Clustering Clustering, also known as diagramming or mapping, is another strategy that can be used to generate material for a paragraph. This method is helpful for
people who like to think in a visual way. In clustering, you use lines, boxes,
arrows, and circles to show relationships among the ideas and details that occur
to you.
Begin by stating your subject in a few words in the center of a blank sheet of
paper. Then, as ideas and details occur to you, put them in boxes or circles around
the subject and draw lines to connect them to each other and to the subject. Put
minor ideas or details in smaller boxes or circles, and use connecting lines to show
how they relate as well.
Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong way of clustering. It is a way to
think on paper about how various ideas and details relate to one another. Below is
an example of what Gene might have done to develop his ideas:
Clustering: A Student Model
Heavy cartons Nonstop pace $4.50 an hour Fifty cents extra for night shift
Hard work Poor pay
Bad working conditions Mean bosses
Showed no appreciationYelled at workers
Unpaid lunch Few breaks
Lonely job
Job at Apple Plant
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Use clustering or another type of diagramming to organize the details about a best
or worst job that you created for the previous activity (page 23).
Technique 5: Summarizing Often, you can gather ideas and details about your topic in the work of other writers.
When you summarize someone else’s work, you condense that person’s ideas and put them into your own words. Always shorter than the original, a summary is an
effective way to combine new information with what you already know.
Always make sure to use your own words throughout the summary. Also, give
the source of your information credit by identifying the author. For example, you
might write, “Dr. Henry Davison claims that eating a lot of fi ber is important to
good digestion.” Activities involving both summarizing and identifying sources
can be found in numerous different sections throughout this book.
Writing a Topic Sentence and Preparing a Scratch Outline After reading over the information you have gathered through one of the prewrit-
ing techniques just discussed, write a working topic sentence. A topic sentence
expresses the point you want to make about the subject of your paragraph. This point, discussed further in Chapter 3, should be clearly stated and narrow, and it
should be drawn from the ideas you have recorded in your prewriting.
In Chapter 1, you read Gene Hert’s paragraph entitled “My Job in an Apple
Plant,” which responds to an assignment that asked students to discuss their best or
worst jobs. Look back to Gene’s freewriting (pages 20–21); you’ll notice that he
rewrote his fi rst attempt, narrowing his focus to only one job in the second version.
His working topic sentence emerged when he wrote his second version: “The job
I remember most was the worst job I ever had.” As with any other aspect of writ-
ing, however, a working topic sentence can and often should be revised for clarity
and exactness. Gene revised his topic sentence in the fi nal version of his paragraph
(page 4): “Working in an apple plant was the worst job I ever had.”
Once you have composed a topic sentence, you should prepare a scratch out-
line, which can be the single most helpful technique for writing a good paragraph. Though a scratch outline usually comes after you have written a working topic
sentence, it may even emerge as you complete your freewriting, questioning, or
other type of prewriting activity.
In addition to helping generate material, clustering often suggests ways to organize ideas and details.TI
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ACTIVITY 4
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26 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Making a scratch outline is part of prewriting because it is a good way to see
if you need to gather more information for your paragraph. If you cannot come up
with a solid outline, then you know you need to do more prewriting to clarify your
main point and provide more support.
In a scratch outline, you think carefully about the point you are making, the
supporting items for that point, and the order in which you will arrange those
items. The scratch outline is a plan or blueprint to help you achieve a unifi ed, sup-
ported, and well-organized paragraph.
Scratch Outline: A Student Model In Gene’s case, as he was working on his list of details, he suddenly realized what
the plan of his paragraph could be. He could organize many of his details into one
of three supporting groups: (1) the job itself, (2) the pay, and (3) the working con-
ditions. He then went back to the list, crossed out items that he now saw did not
fi t, and numbered the items according to the group where they fi t. The illustration
below shows what Gene did with the list he had created.
App le factory job—worst one I ever had
Boss es were mean
3 Working conditions were poor
Went to work at 5 P.M., got back at 7 A.M.
1 Lift ed cartons of app le juice for ten hours
1 Cartons were heavy
3 Only two ten-minute breaks a night
2 Pay was only $4.50 an hour
2 Just fi ft y cents ext ra for night shift
Cost of gas money to and fr om work
3 No pay for lunch break
2 Had to work 60 hours for good take-home pay
1 Loaded onto wooden skids in a truck
Boss es yelled at some workers
3 Temperature zero outside
Floors of trucks ice-cold met al
1 Nonstop pace
continued
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Chapter 2 The Four Bases and the Writing Process 27 C
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Th e app le plant was my worst job.
1. Hard work
2. Poor pay
3. Poor working conditions
3 Had to clean app le vats aft er work
Slept, ate, and worked—no social life
3 No real fr iends at work
Under the list, Gene was now able to prepare his scratch outline:
After all his prewriting, Gene was pleased. He knew that he had a promising
p aragraph—one with a clear point and solid support. He saw that he could organize the
material into a paragraph with a topic sentence, supporting points, and vivid details.
He was now ready to write the fi rst draft of his paragraph, using his outline as a guide.
Chances are that if you do enough prewriting and thinking on paper, you will eventually discover the point and support of your paragraph.TI
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ACTIVITY 5Create a scratch outline that could serve as a guide if you were to write a paragraph on your best or worst job experience.
Writing a First Draft To write your fi rst draft, begin by reading the prewriting you completed for the as-
signment. Then review your working topic sentence and your scratch outline. Make
sure that each item in your outline supports and develops the main point in your
working topic sentence. If it doesn’t, cross it out. For example, let’s say Gene’s
scratch outline had these items: (1) hard work, (2) poor pay, (3) poor working con-
ditions, and (4) friendly coworkers. Gene would want to eliminate item 4 because it
does not support his working topic sentence—“The apple plant was my worst job.”
Once you have reviewed your outline, you’re ready to write your fi rst draft.
Start by writing down or typing your working topic sentence. Then put down the
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28 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
fi rst item from your scratch outline in sentence form. Now write, one sentence at a
time, all the specifi c details for that item that you gathered during prewriting. For
example, look at Gene’s fi rst draft shown below. After explaining that the work
was hard, Gene included the following supporting detail: “For ten hours a night, I
stacked cartons that rolled down a metal track. . . .” This information is from the
list Gene made during prewriting (see page 23).
When you are fi nished with the fi rst outline item, go on to the next one. Fol-
lowing your scratch outline like a blueprint, continue to put down information
gathered in your prewriting under the remaining items in your outline. Don’t worry
yet about grammar, punctuation, or spelling. You don’t want to take time to correct
sentences that you might decide to remove later.
New details and ideas may pop into your mind as you write. That’s only natu-
ral. Just add the new information to your draft. Remember that writing is a process:
You discover more and more about what you want to say as you work. Developing
new information helps make your paragraph more convincing. More important, it
shows that you are thinking critically as you work.
Writing a First Draft: A Student Model Here is Gene’s fi rst draft, done in longhand.
After Gene fi nished the fi rst draft, he was able to put it aside until the next day. You will benefi t as well if you can allow some time between fi nishing a draft and starting to revise.
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Th e app le plant job was my worst. Working in an app le plant was the worst job I
ever had. Th e work was physicaly hard. For a long time ten to twelve hours a night, I
stacked cartons that rolled down a met al track in a tracter trailer. Each carton had
cans or bott les of a pple juice, and they were heavy. At the same time, I had to keep a
mental count of all the cartons I had loaded. Th e pay for the job was a bad feature.
I was gett ing the minamum wage at that time plus fi ft y cents ext ra for night shift .
I had to work a lot to get a dec ent take-home pay. Working conditions were poor at
the app le plant, we were limited to short breaks two ten-minute breaks. Th e truck-
loading dock wh ere I was most of the time was a cold and lonely place. Th en by
myself cleaning up. DETAILS!
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Fill in the missing words in the following explanation of Gene’s fi rst draft.
1. Gene presents his _______________________ in the fi rst sentence and then
crosses it out and revises it right away to make it read smoothly and clearly.
2. Notice that he continues to accumulate specifi c supporting details as he
writes the draft. For example, he crosses out and replaces “a long time” with
the more specifi c _______________________; he crosses out and replaces
“short breaks” with the more specifi c _______________________.
3. There are various misspellings—for example, _______________________.
Gene doesn’t worry about spelling at this point. He just wants to get down as
much of the substance of his paragraph as possible.
4. There are various punctuation errors, especially the run-on and the fragment
near the (beginning, middle, end) _______________________ of the paragraph.
5. Near the close of his paragraph, Gene can’t think of added details to insert,
so he simply prints “_______________________” as a reminder to himself for
the next draft.
Revising Revising is as much a stage in the writing process as prewriting, outlining, and
doing the fi rst draft. Revising means that you rewrite a paragraph, building upon what has already been done, in order to make it stronger. One writer said about
revision, “It’s like cleaning house—getting rid of all the junk and putting things in
the right order.” It is not just “straightening up”; instead, you must be ready to roll
up your sleeves and do whatever is needed to create an effective paragraph. Too
many students think that a fi rst draft is the paragraph. They start to become writers when they realize that revising a rough draft three or four times is often at the heart
of the writing process.
Here are some quick tips that can help make revision easier. First, set your fi rst
draft aside for a while. You can then come back to it with a fresher, more objective
point of view. Second, work from typed or printed text, preferably double-spaced
so you’ll have room to handwrite changes later. You’ll be able to see the paragraph
more impartially if it is typed than if you were just looking at your own familiar
handwriting. Next, read your draft aloud. Hearing how your writing sounds will
help you pick up problems with meaning as well as with style. Finally, as you do
all these things, write additional thoughts and changes above the lines or in the
margins of your paragraph. Your written comments can serve as a guide when you
work on the next draft.
ACTIVITY 6
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30 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
There are two stages to the revision process:
• Revising content
• Revising sentences
Revising Content To revise the content of your paragraph, ask the questions listed in the box below.
1. Is my paragraph unifi ed?
• Do I have a main idea that is clearly stated at the beginning of my
paragraph?
• Do all my supporting points truly support and back up my main idea?
2. Is my paragraph supported?
• Are there separate supporting points for the main idea?
• Do I have specifi c evidence for each supporting point?
• Is there plenty of specifi c evidence for the supporting points?
3. Is my paragraph organized?
• Do I have a clear method of organizing my paper?
• Do I use transitions and other connecting words?
1. Do I use parallelism to balance my words and ideas?
2. Do I have a consistent point of view?
3. Do I use specifi c words?
4. Do I use active verbs?
5. Do I use words effectively by avoiding slang, clichés, pretentious language, and wordiness?
6. Do I vary my sentences in length and structure?
The next two chapters (Chapters 3 and 4) give you practice in achieving unity, support, and organization in your writing.
Revising Sentences To revise individual sentences in your paragraph, ask the following questions:
Chapter 5 will give you practice in revising sentences.
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Revising: A Student Model For his second draft, Gene used the word-processing program on his computer. He
then printed out a double-spaced version of his paragraph, leaving himself plenty
of room for handwritten revisions. Here is Gene’s second draft plus the handwrit-
ten changes and additions that became his third draft.
Working in an apple plant was the worst job I ever had. The work
was physicaly hard. For ten to twelve hours a night, I stacked cartons
that rolled down a metal track in a tracter trailer. Each carton contained
bottles of apple juice, and they came nonstop. At the same time, I had
to keep a mental count of all the cartons I had loaded. The second bad
feature that made the job a worst one was the pay. I was getting the
minamum wage at that time, $4.50 an hour. Plus fi fty cents extra
for night shift. I had to work a lot of hours to get decent take-home pay. I
hated the working conditions. We were limited to two ten-minute breaks
and the half hour for lunch was not paid. Most of my time was spent
outside on the dock in cold temperatures. And I was very lonely on the
job, I had nothing in common with the other workers.you felt this isolation
especially when the production line shut down for the night I had to clean
the apple vats. The vats were a bad place to be on a cold morning and
the job was a bad one to have.
First of all
25 pounds of bott led down the track
just
the over sixt y hours a week Finally
an unpaid half hour for lunch
loading near-zero-degree
bec ause I
and
an ugly
bitt er
Gene made his changes in longhand as he worked on the second draft. As you
will see when you complete the activity below, his revision serves to make the
paragraph more unifi ed, supported, and organized.
Fill in the missing words.
1. To clarify the organization, Gene adds at the beginning of the fi rst support-
ing point the transitional phrase “__________________,” and he sets off the
third supporting point with the word “__________________.”
2. In the interest of (unity, support, organization) __________________, he
crosses out the sentence “_________________________.” He realizes that
ACTIVITY 7
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32 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
this sentence is not a relevant detail to support the idea that the work was
physically hard.
3. To add more (unity, support, organization) __________________, he
changes “a lot of hours” to “__________________”; he changes “on the
dock” to “__________________”; he changes “cold temperatures” to
“___________________________.”
4. In the interest of eliminating wordiness, he removes the words
“___________________________” from the sixth sentence.
5. To achieve parallelism, Gene changes “the half hour for lunch was not paid”
to “___________________________.”
6. For greater sentence variety, Gene combines two short sentences,
beginning the second part of the sentence with the subordinating word
“__________________.”
7. To create a consistent point of view, Gene changes “You felt this isolation” to
“__________________.”
8. Finally, Gene replaces the somewhat vague “bad” in “The vats were a bad
place to be on a cold morning, and the job was a bad one to have” with two
more precise words: “__________________” and “__________________.”
Editing The last major stage in the writing process is editing—checking a paragraph for
mistakes in grammar, punctuation, usage, and spelling. Editing as well as proof-
reading (checking a paragraph for typos and other careless errors) is explained in
detail on pages 128-130.
Editing: A Student Model After typing into his word-processing fi le all the revisions in his paragraph, Gene
printed out another clean draft of the paragraph. He now turned his attention to
editing changes, as shown on the next page.
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Once again, Gene made his changes in longhand right on the printout of his
paragraph. To note these changes, complete the activity below.
Fill in the missing words.
1. As part of his editing, Gene checked and corrected the __________________
of three words, physically, tractor, and minimum.
2. He added __________________ to set off an introductory phrase (“First of
all”) and an introductory word (“Finally”) and also to connect the two com-
plete thoughts in the fi nal sentence.
3. He corrected a fragment (“______________________”) by using a comma to
attach it to the preceding sentence.
4. He realized that a number like “25” should be __________________ as
“twenty-fi ve.”
ACTIVITY 8
My Job in an Apple Plant
Working in an apple plant was the worst job I ever had. First of all the
work was physicaly hard. For ten to twelve hours a night, I took cartons
that rolled down a metal track and stacked them onto wooden skids in
a tracter trailer. Each carton contained 25 pounds of bottled apple juice,
and they came down the track almost nonstop. The second bad feature
of the job was the pay. I was getting the minamum wage at that time,
$4.50 an hour, Plus just fi fty cents extra for working the night shift. I had
to work over sixty hours a week to get a decent take-home pay. Finally
I hated the working conditions. We were limited to two ten-minute breaks
and an unpaid half hour for lunch. Most of my time was spent outside on
the loading dock in near-zero-degree temperatures. And I was very lonely
on the job because I had no interests in common with the other workers.
I felt this isolation especially when the production line shut down for the
night, and I had to clean the apple vats. The vats were an ugly place to
be on a cold morning and the job was a bitter one to have.
, physically
tractor twenty-fi ve
minimum
, p
,
spent two hours by myself cleaning
,
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34 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
5. And since revision can occur at any stage of the writing process, including
editing, Gene makes one of his details more vivid by adding the descriptive
words “____________________________.”
All that remained for Gene to do was to enter his corrections, print out the fi nal
draft of the paragraph, and proofread it for any typos or other careless errors. He
was then ready to hand it in to his instructor.
Using Peer Review It is a good idea to have another student or peer respond to your writing before you
hand it in to the instructor. On the day a rough draft is due, or on a day when you
are writing paragraphs or essays in class, your instructor may ask you to pair up
with another student or group of students. Each student’s essay will be read and
responded to by those in the group.
Ideally, read the other paragraph or essay aloud while your partner listens. If that
is not practical, read it in a whisper while he or she looks on. As you read, both you
WORKING WITH ANOTHER STUDENT CAN BE BENEFICIAL FOR BOTH OF YOU. What kinds of skills might you gain from being a peer reviewer? In what specifi c ways could you benefi t as an author?
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For example here is a scratch outline of the paper on page 215 about the benefi ts
of exercise:
Point: _________________________________________________________
Support:
1. __________________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________________
Point: _________________________________________________________
Support:
1. __________________________________________________________
2. __________________________________________________________
3. __________________________________________________________
Eff ect s of ex ercise can change one’s life.
Burns calories for weight loss
Helps heart and circulatory sy stem
Helps improve emot ional health
and your partner should look and listen for spots where the composition does not read
smoothly and clearly. Check or circle the trouble spots where your reading snags.
Your partner should then re-read your work, marking possible trouble spots
while doing so. Then each of you should do the following three things.
1. Identifi cation On a separate sheet of paper, write at the top the title and author of the composi-
tion you have read. Under it put your name as the reader of the paragraph or essay.
2. Scratch Outline “X-ray” the paper for its inner logic by making up a scratch outline. The scratch out-
line need be no more than twenty words or so, but it should show clearly the logical
foundation on which the paragraph or essay is built. It should identify and summarize
the overall point of the paper and the three areas of support for the point.
Your outline should be organized like this:
3. Comments Under the outline, write the heading “Comments.” As many people are sensitive to
criticism, it is very important to be specifi c and constructive with your comments.
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36 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Try to avoid vague comments like “it’s good”; instead offer helpful suggestions
like “your topic sentence is very broad and should be narrowed down.” Here are
some of the general areas you should comment on while peer reviewing:
• Is there a topic sentence or thesis statement that makes a point? If not, try
to suggest ways the author could improve it.
• Are there spots in the paragraph or essay where you see problems with
unity, support, or organization? (You’ll fi nd it helpful to refer to the checklist on the inside back cover of this book.) If so, offer comments.
For example, for an essay you might say, “More details are needed in
the fi rst supporting paragraph,” or “Some details in the last supporting
paragraph don’t really back up your point.”
• Make a note of at least two things the author did really well, such as good
use of transitions or an especially realistic or vivid specifi c detail.
• Write down at least two things the author could do to improve the paper,
such as adding detail or support in specifi c areas or using more vibrant and
active language.
• Finally, go back to the spots where your reading of the composition
snagged: Are words or ideas missing? Is there a lack of parallel structure?
Is the meaning of a sentence confusing? Try to fi gure out what the
problems are and suggest ways of fi xing them.
• Although sentence skills are important, try not to simply edit a student’s paper as you are reviewing; extra attention to grammar and punctuation
should be given during the editing stage and not the revising stage.
After you have completed your evaluation of the paragraph or essay, give it to your
partner and talk about the comments. As the author, you need to understand the re-
viewer’s comments, so you should ask for clarifi cation on anything that you don’t
understand. Remember not to get defensive, but see this as one part of the process
of writing and a chance to improve your skills as a writer.
Doing a Personal Review 1. While you’re writing and revising a paragraph or essay, you should be con-
stantly evaluating it in terms of unity, support, and organization. Use as a guide the detailed checklist on the inside back cover of this book.
2. After you’ve fi nished the next-to-fi nal draft of a composition, check it for the
sentence skills listed on the inside back cover. It may also help to read your work out loud. If a given sentence does not sound right—that is, if it does not
read clearly and smoothly—chances are something is wrong. In that case, re-
vise or edit as necessary until your composition is complete.
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1. When you start work on a paper, do you typically do any prewriting?
_______ Yes _______ Sometimes _______ No
2. Which of the following techniques do you use?
_______ Freewriting _______ Clustering
_______ Questioning _______ Topic sentence and scratch outline
_______ List making _______ Other (please describe)
_______ Summarizing
3. Which prewriting technique or techniques work best for you or do you think will work best for you?
4. Many students have said they fi nd it helpful to handwrite a fi rst draft and then type that draft on a computer. They then print the draft out and revise it by hand. Describe your own way of drafting and revising a paper.
Review Activities You now have a good overview of the writing process, from prewriting to fi rst draft
to revising to editing. The remaining chapters in Part 1 will deepen your sense of
the four goals of effective writing: unity, support, organization or coherence, and
sentence skills.
To reinforce much of the information about the writing process that you have
learned in this chapter, you can now work through the following activities:
1. Taking a writing inventory
2. Prewriting
3. Outlining
4. Revising
1 Taking a Writing Inventory To evaluate your approach to the writing process, answer the questions below. This
activity is not a test, so try to be as honest as possible. Becoming aware of your
writing habits can help you make helpful changes in your writing.
ACTIVITY 9
continued
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38 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
2 Prewriting and Scratch Outline Following are examples of how the different techniques could be used to develop the
topic “Inconsiderate Drivers.” Identify each technique by writing F (for freewriting), ACTIVITY 10
5. After you write the fi rst draft of a paper, do you have time to set it aside for a while so that you can come back to it with a fresh eye?
6. How many drafts do you typically write when doing a paper?
7. When you revise, are you aware that you should be working toward a paper that is unifi ed, solidly supported, and clearly organized? Has this chapter given you a better sense that unity, support, and organization are goals to aim for?
8. Do you revise a paper for the effectiveness of its sentences as well as for its content?
9. What (if any) information has this chapter given you about prewriting that you will try to apply in your writing?
10. What (if any) information has this chapter given you about revising that you will try to apply in your writing?
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Q (for questioning), L (for listing), C (for clustering), or SO (for scratch outline) in
the answer space.
________ High beams on
Weave in and out at high speeds
Treat street like a trash can
Open car door onto street without looking
Stop on street looking for an address
Don’t use turn signals
High speeds in low-speed zones
Don’t take turns merging
Use horn when they don’t need to
Don’t give walkers the right of way
More attention to cell phone than the road
________ What is one example of A person who turns suddenly without
an inconsiderate driver? signaling.
Where does this happen? At city intersections or on smaller
country roads.
Why is this dangerous? You have to be alert and slow down
yourself to avoid rear-ending the car in
front.
What is another example Drivers who come toward you at night
of inconsideration on the with their high beams on.
road?
________ Some people are inconsiderate drivers.
1. In city:
a. Stop in middle of street
b. Turn without signaling
2. On highway:
a. Leave high beams on
b. Stay in passing lane
c. Cheat during a merge
3. Both in city and on highway:
a. Throw trash out of window
b. Pay more attention to cell phone than to road
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40 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
________ I was driving home last night after class and had three people try
to blind me by coming at me with their high beams on. I had to zap
them all with my high beams. Rude drivers make me crazy. The worst
are the ones that use the road as a trash can. People who throw butts
and cups and hamburger wrappings and other stuff out the car win-
dows should be tossed into a trash dumpster. If word got around that
this was the punishment maybe they would wise up. Other drivers do
dumb things as well. I hate the person who will just stop in the middle
of the street and try to fi gure out directions or look for a house ad-
dress. Why don’t they pull over to the side of the street? That hardly
seems like too much to ask. Instead, they stop all traffi c while doing
their own thing. Then there are the people who keep what they want
to do a secret. They’re not going to tell you they plan to make a right-
or left-hand turn. You’ve got to fi gure it out yourself when they sud-
denly slow down in front of you. Then there are all the people on their
cell phones yakking away and not paying attention to their driving.
In city
Stop in street
Turn without signaling
Leave high beams on
Stay in passing lane
Cheat during a merge
Throw trash out of window
Pay more attention to cell phone than to road
Inconsiderate Drivers On highway
Both city and highway
________
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3 Outlining As already mentioned (see page 25), outlining is central to writing a good para-
graph. An outline lets you see, and work on, the bare bones of a paragraph, without
the distraction of cluttered words and sentences. It develops your ability to think
clearly and logically. Outlining provides a quick check on whether your paragraph
will be unifi ed. It also suggests right at the start whether your paragraph will be ade- quately supported. And it shows you how to plan a paragraph that is well organized.
The following series of exercises will help you develop the outlining skills so
important to planning and writing a solid paragraph.
One key to effective outlining is the ability to distinguish between general ideas
and specifi c details that fi t under those ideas. Read each group of specifi c ideas
below. Then circle the letter of the general idea that tells what the specifi c ideas
have in common. Note that the general idea should not be too broad or too narrow.
Begin by trying the example item, and then read the explanation that follows.
example
Specifi c ideas: runny nose, coughing, sneezing, sore throat
The general idea is:
a. cold symptoms.
b. symptoms.
c. throat problems.
ACTIVITY 11
E X P L A N AT I O N
It is true that the specifi c ideas are all symptoms, but they have in common something even more specifi c—they are all symptoms of the common cold. Therefore, answer b is too broad; the correct answer is a. Answer c is too nar- row because it doesn’t cover all the specifi c ideas; it covers only the fi nal item in the list (“sore throat”).
1. Specifi c ideas: good student reviews, good rapport with colleagues, excellent class evaluation
The general idea is:
a. teaching at a community college.
b. reasons teaching is an important profession.
c. reasons a teacher might be rehired.
2. Specifi c ideas: baking cookies, wrapping presents, decorating a tree
The general idea is:
a. Christmas.
b. activities to prepare for Christmas.
c. activities to prepare for any holiday.
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42 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
3. Specifi c ideas: putting sticky tape on someone’s chair, putting a “kick me” sign on someone’s back, putting hot pepper in someone’s cereal
The general idea is:
a. practical jokes.
b. jokes.
c. practical jokes played on teachers.
4. Specifi c ideas: long lines at the cafeteria, lack of available parking spaces, lack of available computers and printers
The general idea is:
a. problems.
b. problems on campus.
c. problems at the dining hall.
5. Specifi c ideas: broken sidewalks, non-functioning streetlamps, crumbling bridges, uncollected trash
The general idea is:
a. a city in disrepair.
b. disrepair.
c. a street in disrepair.
In the following items, the specifi c ideas are given but the general ideas are unstated.
Fill in each blank with a general heading that accurately describes the list provided.
example
General idea:
Specifi c ideas: washing dishes preparing meals
taking out trash
dusting
1. General idea:
Specifi c ideas: empathetic loyal
kind
supportive
2. General idea:
Specifi c ideas: losing weight exercising more
eating more fruits and vegetables
eating fewer fast-food meals
ACTIVITY 12
Household Chores
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3. General idea:
Specifi c ideas: different colored glitter multi-themed craft paper
hot glue gun
ribbons, buttons, and bows
4. General idea: Specifi c ideas: tees clubs
bag
spiked shoes
5. General idea:
Specifi c ideas: staying at Disneyworld spending a week on a cruise
visiting a national park
touring castles in England
Major and minor ideas are mixed together in the two paragraphs outlined below.
Put the ideas in logical order by fi lling in the outlines.
1. Topic sentence: Implementing year-round school would benefi t society.
Students attend school more days than within traditional calendars
No need to spend fi rst quarter learning again what was forgotten over the summer
No need for families to fi nd childcare for the summer break
Helps students maintain and reinforce learning
Less review time equals more time to study new subjects
Helps families with scheduling and budgeting
Eliminates the expense of privately funded activities during summer
Allows teachers to teach subjects in more depth
More school days allow for greater exposure to new concepts and information.
a.
(1)
(2)
b.
(1)
(2)
ACTIVITY 13
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44 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
c.
(1)
(2)
2. Topic sentence: Blogging can be a great career choice for someone with an entrepreneurial spirit.
Regular posting schedule will keep readers interested.
Sticking to one theme, like fi tness, will garner regular audience.
Successful bloggers identify a popular topic and/or timely niche.
Finding thrifty ways to dress fashionably is now a popular trend.
Bloggers should participate in social bookmarking like Digg and Reddit.
Bloggers need to be visible and promote themselves.
Bloggers need to be consistent.
People like to read about health-related topics.
a.
(1)
(2)
b.
(1)
(2)
c.
(1)
(2)
Again, major and minor ideas are mixed together. In addition, in each outline one
of the three major ideas is missing and must be added. Put the ideas in logical order
by fi lling in the outlines that follow (summarizing as needed) and adding a third
major idea.
1. Topic sentence: Extending the school day would have several advantages.
Help children academically
Parents know children are safe at the school
More time to spend on basics
Less pressure to cover subjects quickly
More time for extras like art, music, and sports
Help working parents
More convenient to pick up children at 4 or 5 P.M.
Teachers’ salaries would be raised
ACTIVITY 14
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a.
(1)
(2)
b.
(1)
(2)
c.
(1)
(2)
2. Topic sentence: By following certain hints about food, exercise, and smoking, you can increase your chances of dying young.
Don’t ever walk if you can ride instead.
Choose foods such as bacon and lunch meats that are laced with nitrites and
other preservatives.
Be very selective about what you eat.
If you begin to cough or feel short of breath, keep smoking.
If a friend invites you to play an outdoor sport, open a beer instead and head
for your La-Z-Boy recliner.
Resist the urge to exercise.
Choose foods from one of four essential groups: fat, starch, sugar, and grease.
Smoke on a regular basis.
a.
(1)
(2)
b.
(1)
(2)
c.
(1)
(2)
Read the following two paragraphs. Then outline each one in the space provided.
Write out the topic sentence in each case and summarize in a few words the pri-
mary and secondary supporting material that fi ts under the topic sentence.
ACTIVITY 15
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46 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
1.
Properly Planning a Family Vacation
Carefully planning a family vacation as a family can be the difference between a wonderful vacation and a terrible one. The very fi rst thing a family should do in deciding what type of vacation to take is to determine the budget. Figuring how much can be spent, letting everyone in the family know the budget, and staying within that budget will help alleviate the stress of worrying or arguing about money during the trip. For example, a family of six may fi nd that its budget will necessitate travel by car rather than by plane. Once the budget has been determined, the family should focus on where to vacation. A vacation to New York would involve several different factors than planning a vacation to Canada. For instance, to enter Canada each family member will need a passport; that process can take as long as three months. The next step is to decide on possible activities. For example, if a cruise is planned and the budget permits, family members may want to examine the excursions that are offered and choose one or two. However, if the vacation is to be a road trip through Yellowstone Park, family members may want to incorporate several daily hikes to break up the monotony of driving. To help keep family peace, each family member should be allotted one activity specifi cally geared toward him or her. Younger children may want a day at the beach to play in the sand, but teens might prefer a visit to a specialized museum, show, or concert. The fi nal step in planning is creating a daily itinerary. By mapping out the specifi c days for each activity, everyone will have a clear idea of what to expect. Including the entire family in the planning process allows each family member input and ownership of the vacation.
Topic Sentence:
a.
(1)
(2)
b.
(1)
(2)
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c.
(1)
(2)
(3)
(4)
d.
(1)
2.
Slow Down to Slim Down
It might sound strange, but one reason people gain weight is lack of time. Most of us live such busy lives that exercising and following a sensible diet—the two most important ways to stay slim—are diffi cult. Walking, running, or working out at least three times a week demands sacrifi ce. To fi t it into our schedules, we need to wake up extra early or make time after long hours at school or work, when all we want to do is lie on the couch. Moreover, physical exercise may not be part of our daily routine. To save twenty precious minutes, we drive to the post offi ce or drugstore rather than walk, or we take the elevator to the fi fth fl oor rather than the stairs, just to squeeze out another ten minutes. However, our need for more time also affects our diet. Too often we skip breakfast, which causes us to overeat later in the day, or we head for the drive-through and pick up some cholesterol- loaded monstrosity containing nearly 1,000 calories. Then, at lunch, we grab a burger and french fries, which we devour—in fi ve minutes or less— while at work, while we’re studying, or even while we’re driving our cars. And instead of spending time cooking sensible, healthful dinners at home, we opt for fat-soaked, calorie-fi lled fried chicken takeout so we can get to our second jobs on time, start a ton of homework, or run off to fulfi ll a family obligation. In short then, we need to make time—as hard as that is—to do what’s right for our bodies and ourselves. Weight gain is a major health threat because it can lead to a number of serious illnesses such as arthritis, diabetes, and heart disease. It can also affect our self-esteem and even cause depression. The lesson is clear: We need to slow down to slim down.
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48 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Topic sentence:
a.
(1)
(2)
b.
(1)
(2)
(3)
c.
(1)
(2)
4 Revising Listed in the box below are fi ve stages in the process of composing a paragraph
titled “Dangerous Places.”
The fi ve stages appear in scrambled order below and on the next page. Write the
number 1 in the blank space in front of the fi rst stage of development and number
the remaining stages in sequence.
ACTIVITY 16
1. Prewriting (list)
2. Prewriting (freewriting and questioning) and scratch outline
3. First draft
4. Revising (second draft)
5. Revising (fi nal draft)
There are some places where I never feel safe. For example, public restrooms. The dirt and graffi ti dirt on the fl oors and the graffi ti scrawled on the walls make the room seem dangerous create a sense of danger. I’m also afraid in parking lots. Late at night, I don’t like walking in the lot After class, I don’t like the parking lot. When I leave my night class or the shopping mall late the walk to the car is scary. Most parking lots have large lights which make me feel at least a little better. I feel least safe in our laundry room. . . . It is a depressing place . . . Bars on the windows, . . . pipes making noises, . . . cement steps the only way out. . . .
continued
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Dangerous Places
There are some places where I never feel completely safe. For example, I seldom feel safe in public restrooms. I worry that I’ll suddenly be alone there and that someone will come in to mug me. The ugly graffi ti often scrawled on the walls, along with the grime and dirt in the room and crumpled tissues and paper towels on the fl oor, add to my sense of unease and danger. I also feel unsafe in large, dark, parking lots. When I leave my night class a little late, or I am one of the few leaving the mall at 10 P.M., I dread the walk to my car. I am afraid that someone may be lurking behind another car, ready to mug me. And I fear that my car will not start, leaving me stuck in the dark parking lot. The place where I feel least safe is the basement laundry room in our apartment building. No matter what time I do my laundry, I seem to be the only person there. The windows are barred, and the only exit is a steep fl ight of cement steps. While I’m folding the clothes, I feel trapped. If anyone unfriendly came down those steps, I would have nowhere to go. The pipes in the room make sudden gurgles, clanks, and hisses, adding to my unsettledness. Places like public restrooms, dark parking lots, and the basement laundry room give me the shivers.
Dangerous Places Highways Cars—especially parking lots Feel frightened in our laundry room Big crowds—concerts, movies Closed-in places Bus and train stations Airplane Elevators and escalators
There are some places where I never feel completely safe. For example, I never feel safe in public restrooms. If I’m alone there, I worry that someone will come in to rob and mug me. The dirt on the fl oors and the graffi ti scrawled on the walls create a sense of danger. I feel unsafe in large, dark parking lots. When I leave my night class a little late or I leave the mall at 10 P.M., the walk to the car is scary. I’m afraid that someone may be behind a car. Also that my car won’t start. Another place I don’t feel safe is the basement laundry room in our apartment building. No matter when I do the laundry, I’m the only person there. The windows are barred
continued
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50 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
The author of “Dangerous Places” in Activity 16 made a number of revising and
editing changes between the second draft and the fi nal draft. Compare the two
drafts and, in the spaces provided below, identify fi ve of the changes.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
ACTIVITY 17
and there are steep steps. I feel trapped when I fold the clothes. The pipes in the room make frightening noises such as hisses and clanks. Our laundry room and other places give me the shivers.
Some places seem dangerous and unsafe to me. For example, last night I stayed till 10:15 after night class and walked out to parking lot alone. Very scary. Also, other places I go to every day, such as places in my apartment building. Also frightened by big crowds and public restrooms. Why was the parking lot scary? What places in my building
scare me? Dark Laundry room (especially) Only a few cars Elevators No one else in lot Lobby at night sometimes Could be someone behind a car Outside walkway at night Cold 2 Parking lots 3 Laundry room 1 Public restrooms
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WHY ARE YOU IN COLLEGE? There are many different reasons for going to college. Perhaps you are studying architecture like the student pictured here. This chapter contains two student paragraphs detailing each of the writer’s reasons for being in college. Think about your own reasons for attending college. You may want to make a list of these reasons. At the end of this chapter, you will be asked to write your own paragraph on why you are in college.
This chapter will show you how to
• begin a paragraph by making a point of some kind
• provide specifi c evidence to support that point
• write a simple paragraph
The First and Second Steps in Writing
C H A P T E R
WWWHHHYYY AAARRREEE YYYOOOUUU IIINNN CCCOOOLLLLLLEEEGGGEEE??? There are many different
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52 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Chapter 2 emphasized how prewriting and revising can help you become
an effective writer. This chapter focuses on the fi rst two steps in writing an
effective paragraph:
1. Begin with a point.
2. Support the point with specifi c evidence.
Chapters 4 and 5 then look at the third and fourth steps in writing:
3. Organize and connect the specifi c evidence (pages 89–110).
4. Write clear, error-free sentences (pages 111–140).
Step 1: Begin with a Point Your fi rst step in writing is to decide what point you want to make and to write that
point in a single sentence. The point is commonly known as a topic sentence. As a guide to yourself and to the reader, put that point in the fi rst sentence of your para-
graph. Everything else in the paragraph should then develop and support in specifi c
ways the single point given in the fi rst sentence. (For information about using a work-
ing topic sentence to develop a scratch outline, see pages 25–27 in Chapter 2.)
Read the two student paragraphs below about families today. Which paragraph
clearly supports a single point? Which paragraph rambles on in many directions,
introducing a number of ideas but developing none of them?
PARAGRAPH A
Changes in the Family
Changes in our society in recent years have weakened family life. First of all, today’s mothers spend much less time with their children. A generation or two ago, most households got by on Dad’s paycheck and Mom stayed home. Now many mothers work, and their children attend an after-school program, stay with a neighbor, or go home to an empty house. Another change is that families no longer eat together. In the past, Mom would be home to fi x a full dinner—salad, pot roast, potatoes, and vegetables, with homemade cake or pie to top it off. Dinner today is more likely to be takeout food or frozen dinners eaten at home, or fast food eaten out, with different members of the family eating at different times. Finally, television has taken the place of family conversation and
continued
ACTIVITY 1
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PARAGRAPH B
togetherness. Back when there were traditional meals, family members would have a chance to eat together, talk with each other, and share events of the day in a leisurely manner. But now families are more likely to be looking at the TV set than talking to one another. Most homes even have several TV sets, which people watch in separate rooms. Clearly, modern life is a challenge to family life.
The Family
Family togetherness is very important. However, today’s mothers spend much less time at home than their mothers did, for several reasons. Most fathers are also home much less than they used to be. In previous times, families had to work together running a farm. Now children are left at other places or are home alone much of the time. Some families do fi nd ways to spend more time together despite the demands of work. Another problem is that with parents gone so much of the day, nobody is at home to prepare wholesome meals for the family to eat together. The meals Grandma used to make would include pot roast and fried chicken, mashed potatoes, salad, vegetables, and delicious homemade desserts. Today’s takeout foods and frozen meals can provide good nutrition. Some menu choices offer nothing but high-fat and high-sodium choices. People can supplement prepared foods by eating suffi cient vegetables and fruit. Finally, television is also a big obstacle to togetherness. It sometimes seems that people are constantly watching TV and never talking to each other. Even when parents have friends over, it is often to watch something on TV. TV must be used wisely to achieve family togetherness.
Complete the following statement: Paragraph is effective because it makes a clear, single point in the fi rst sentence and goes on in the remaining sen-
tences to support that single point.
Paragraph A starts with a point—that changes in our society in recent years
have weakened family life—and then supports that idea with examples about
mothers’ working, families’ eating habits, and television.
Paragraph B, on the other hand, does not make and support a single point. At fi rst
we think the point of the paragraph may be that “family togetherness is very impor-
tant.” But there is no supporting evidence showing how important family together-
ness is. Instead, the line of thought in paragraph B swerves about like a car without
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54 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
a steering wheel. In the second sentence, we read that “today’s mothers spend much
less time at home than their mothers did, for several reasons.” Now we think for a
moment that this may be the main point and that the author will list and explain some
of those reasons. But the paragraph then goes on to comment on fathers, families in
previous times, and families who fi nd ways to spend time together. Any one of those
ideas could be the focus of the paragraph, but none is. By now we are not really sur-
prised at what happens in the rest of the paragraph. We are told about the absence of
anyone “to prepare wholesome meals for the family,” about what “the meals Grandma
used to make” would be like, and about nutrition. The author then goes on to make
a couple of points about how much people watch TV. The paragraph ends with yet
another idea that does not support any previous point and that itself could be the point
of a paragraph: “TV must be used wisely to achieve family togetherness.” No single
idea in this paragraph is developed, and the result for the reader is confusion.
In summary, while paragraph A is unifi ed, paragraph B shows a complete lack
of unity.
Step 2: Support the Point with Specifi c Evidence The fi rst essential step in writing effectively is to start with a clearly stated point.
The second basic step is to support that point with specifi c evidence. Consider the
supported point that you just read:
Point Changes in our society in recent years have weakened family life.
Support 1. Mothers
a. Most stayed home a generation ago
b. Most work now, leaving children at an after-school program, or with a
neighbor, or in an empty house
2. Eating habits
a. Formerly full homemade meals, eaten together
b. Now prepared foods at home or fast food out, eaten separately
3. Television
a. Watching TV instead of conversing
b. Watching in separate rooms instead of being together
The supporting evidence is needed so that we can see and understand for our- selves that the writer’s point is sound. The author of “Changes in the Family” has supplied specifi c supporting examples of how changes in our society have
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weakened family life. The paragraph has provided the evidence that is needed for
us to understand and agree with the writer’s point.
Now consider the following paragraph.
The Children of Huang Shi: A Must See
By incorporating beautiful cinematography, extensive music scores, and highly talented actors, The Children of Huang Shi is an emotional masterpiece. The setting of the fi lm is China during the Japanese occupation, and several fi lming techniques are used to immerse the viewer in the natural beauty of China. The wide angled shots of the orphans marching across the Liu Pan Shan Mountains into Mongolia demonstrate the vastness and ruggedness of China’s wilderness. The fi lm’s low-key lighting hints at the fear and devastation that the Chinese were facing during this period. Additionally, the musical scores enhance the emotion evoked by this fi lm. David Hirschfelder, known for writing the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon score, has created music that boldly mimics the vast wilderness, and yet becomes delicate and intimate during key moments. Finally, the incredible cast enriches the audience’s experience. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers realistically portrays George Hogg, the man who put his life on the line to save the fi fty-six orphans. Chow Yun-Fat is very believable as Chen Hansheng, a communist resistance fi ghter. Michelle Yeoh is amazing as Mrs. Wang, a businesswoman who has fi gured out how to survive during the war. All in all, The Children of Huang Shi is a fi lm that will inspire audiences for decades to come.
The author’s point is that the fi lm, The Children of Huang Shi, should be watched. Summarize in the spaces below the three reasons she gives to support
her decision:
Reason 1:
Reason 2:
Reason 3:
Notice what the supporting details in this paragraph do. They provide you,
the reader, with a basis for understanding why the writer believes this fi lm should
be seen. Through specifi c evidence, the writer has explained and communicated
her point successfully. The evidence that supports the point in a paragraph often
consists of a series of reasons introduced by signal words (the author here uses
Additionally and Finally) and followed by examples and details that support the reasons. That is true of the sample paragraph above: Three reasons are provided,
followed by examples and details that back up those reasons.
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56 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Th e Point as an “Umbrella” Idea You may fi nd it helpful to think of the point as an
“umbrella” idea. Under the writer’s point fi ts all of
the other material of the paragraph. That other ma-
terial is made up of specifi c supporting details—
evidence such as examples, reasons, or facts. The
diagram to the right shows the relationship for the
paragraph “Good-Bye, Tony.”
Both of the paragraphs that follow resulted from the assignment to “Write a para-
graph that details your reasons for being in college.” Both writers make the point
that they have various reasons for attending college. Which paragraph then goes
on to provide plenty of specifi c evidence to back up its point? Which paragraph is
vague and repetitive and lacks the concrete details needed to show us exactly why
the author decided to attend college?
Imagine that you’ve been asked to make a short fi lm based on each paragraph. Which one suggests specifi c pictures, locations, words, and scenes you could shoot? That is the one that uses concrete details.HI
NT
PARAGRAPH A
Reasons for Going to College
I decided to attend college for various reasons. One reason is self- respect. For a long time now, I have had little self-respect. I spent a lot of time doing nothing, just hanging around or getting into trouble, and eventually I began to feel bad about it. Going to college is a way to start feeling better about myself. By accomplishing things, I will improve my self-image. Another reason for going to college is that things happened in my life that made me think about a change. For one thing, I lost the part-time job I had. When I lost the job, I realized I would have to do something in life, so I thought about school. I was in a rut and needed to get out of it but did not know how. But when something happens that is out of your control, then you have to make some kind of decision. The most important reason for college, though, is to fulfi ll my dream. I know I need an education, and I want to take the courses I need to reach the position that I think I can handle. Only by qualifying yourself can you get what you want. Going to college will help me fulfi ll this goal. These are the main reasons why I am attending college.
ACTIVITY 2
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PARAGRAPH B
Why I’m in School
There are several reasons I’m in school. First of all, my father’s attitude made me want to succeed in school. One night last year, after I had come in at 3 A.M., my father said, “Mickey, you’re a bum. When I look at my son, all I see is a good-for-nothing bum.” I was angry, but I knew my father was right in a way. I had spent the last two years working at odd jobs at a pizza parlor and luncheonette, trying all kinds of drugs with my friends. That night, though, I decided I would prove my father wrong. I would go to college and be a success. Another reason I’m in college is my girlfriend’s encouragement. Marie has already been in school for a year, and she is doing well in her computer courses. Marie helped me fi ll out my application and register for courses. She even lent me sixty-fi ve dollars for textbooks. On her day off, she lets me use her car so I don’t have to take the college bus. The main reason I am in college is to fulfi ll a personal goal: for the fi rst time in my life, I want to fi nish something. For example, I quit high school in the eleventh grade. Then I enrolled in a government job-training program, but I dropped out after six months. I tried to get a high school equivalency diploma, but I started missing classes and eventually gave up. Now I am in a special program where I will earn my high school degree by completing a series of fi ve courses. I am determined to accomplish this goal and to then go on and work for a degree in hotel management.
Complete the following statement: Paragraph provides clear, vividly detailed reasons why the writer decided to attend college.
Paragraph B is the one that solidly backs up its point. The writer gives us
specifi c reasons he is in school. On the basis of such evidence, we can clearly un-
derstand his opening point. The writer of paragraph A offers only vague, general
reasons for being in school. We do not get specifi c examples of how the writer was
“getting into trouble,” what events occurred that forced the decision, or even what
kind of job he or she wants to qualify for. We sense that the feeling expressed is
sincere, but without particular examples we cannot really see why the writer de-
cided to attend college.
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58 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Reinforcing Point and Support You have learned the two most important steps in writing effectively: making a
point and supporting that point. Take a few minutes now to do the following activ-
ity. It will strengthen your ability to recognize a point and the support for that point.
In the following groups, one statement is the general point and the other statements
are specifi c support for the point. Identify each point with a P and each statement
of support with an S.
example
My college is only three miles from my house.
It’s on a bus line that passes a block from my house.
When the weather is good, I can walk to school in about forty-fi ve minutes.
For me, the college I attend is easy to get to.
S
S
S
P
E X P L A N AT I O N
The point—that the writer’s college is easy for the writer to get to—is strongly supported by the three specifi c details stated.
1. This has been a wonderful week.
I won a hundred dollars in the state lottery.
I received an A on my chemistry exam.
My boss just gave me a raise.
2. Some people skip breakfast.
Some people have poor eating habits.
Some people always order supersize portions.
Some people eat almost no fruits or vegetables.
3. My blood pressure has dropped.
This new exercise program must be working.
I have lost ten pounds in three weeks.
I don’t tire as easily as I used to.
4. Cats are clean and do not require much attention.
Cats like living indoors and are safe to have around children.
ACTIVITY 3
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Cats are inexpensive to feed and easy to keep healthy.
There are defi nite advantages to having a cat as a pet.
5. She is eating less red meat, fewer fatty foods, and more
vegetables.
Jane is taking better care of herself.
She exercises at least four times a week.
Jane made sure to get a fl u shot this year.
6. My work hours are fl exible.
I love my job at the day care center.
The children are easy to work with.
The center is bright and cheerful.
7. The bread the waiter brought us is stale.
We’ve been waiting for our main course for more than an hour.
It is time to speak to the restaurant manager.
The people next to us are awfully loud.
8. Carla asks people questions about themselves.
Carla is a pleasure to be around.
Carla has a great smile.
Carla really listens to people when they talk.
9. The library subscribes to more than fi ve hundred magazines and
newspapers.
Students have online access to thirty-fi ve academic databases to
which the college subscribes.
Several expert librarians are always present to help students locate
resources.
Our college library has excellent resources.
The library’s DVD collection has recently been expanded.
There are more than 150,000 books in our library.
10. My older brother is a computer nerd.
My sister wants to go to dental school.
My younger brother wants to become a history teacher.
The children in my family have different academic and career goals.
I have a fl air for foreign languages and want to become a
diplomat.
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60 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
11. Though a mosquito is small, it has power.
A mosquito can fi nd you in the dark.
A mosquito can keep you awake all night.
A mosquito can make you scratch yourself until you bleed.
12. Because sending e-mail is so simple, family and friends may use
e-mail messages to stay in close touch.
When people are upset, they may send off an angry e-mail before
they consider the consequences.
The jokes, petitions, and other e-mails that friends so easily forward
can become a real nuisance.
The ease of using e-mail can be both a blessing and a curse.
13. When some people answer the phone, their fi rst words are “Who’s
this?”
Some people never bother to identify themselves when calling
someone.
Some people have terrible telephone manners.
Some people hang up without even saying good-bye.
14. One mother created what she called the homework zone—the
kitchen table after dinner—where she and her young children did
their assignments.
Some adult students have taken classes at a nearby community col-
lege during their lunch hour.
Adult students often fi nd creative ways to balance school, employ-
ment, and family responsibilities.
By listening to recorded lectures in the car, working students turn
travel time into learning time.
15. Moviegoers can take several simple steps to save money at the
movie theater.
Bringing homemade popcorn to the movies is cheaper than buying
expensive theater popcorn.
Buying candy at a grocery store, not a theater, cuts candy costs
in half.
Going to movies early in the day reduces ticket prices by as much
as three dollars each.
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The Importance of Specifi c Details The point that opens a paragraph is a general statement. The evidence that supports
a point is made up of specifi c details, reasons, examples, and facts.
Specifi c details have two key functions. First of all, details excite the reader’s interest. They make writing a pleasure to read, for we all enjoy learning particulars about other people—what they do and think and feel. Second, details support and explain a writer’s point; they give the evidence needed for us to see and understand a general idea. For example, the writer of “The Children of Huang Shi: A Must See” provides details that make vividly clear why a person should see the fi lm. She
specifi es the fi lming techniques used to immerse the viewer (wide angled shots and
low-key lighting). She explains how the music enhances the emotions the audience
experiences (bold, delicate, and intimate). She tells why the cast enriches the au-
dience’s enjoyment of the movie (realistically portrays; believable as communist
resistance fi ghter; amazing as a businesswoman).
The writer of “Why I’m in School” provides equally vivid details. He gives
clear reasons for being in school (his father’s attitude, his girlfriend’s encourage-
ment, and his wish to fulfi ll a personal goal) and backs up each reason with specifi c
details. His details give us many sharp pictures. For instance, we hear the exact
words his father spoke: “Mickey, you’re a bum.” He tells us exactly how he was
spending his time (“working at odd jobs at a pizza parlor and luncheonette, trying
all kinds of drugs with my friends”). He describes how his girlfriend helped him
(fi lling out the college application, lending money and her car). Finally, instead of
stating generally that “you have to make some kind of decision,” as the writer of
“Reasons for Going to College” does, he specifi es that he has a strong desire to fi n-
ish college because he dropped out of many schools and programs in the past: high
school, a job-training program, and a high school equivalency course.
In both “The Children of Huang Shi: A Must See” and “Why I’m in School,” then, the vivid, exact details capture our interest and enable us to share in the writer’s
experience. In the fi rst case, we gain a specifi c and deep grasp of the writer’s opin-
ions; in the second, we see people’s actions and hear their words. The details provide
pictures that make each of us feel “I am there.” The particulars also allow us to un-
derstand each writer’s point clearly. We are shown exactly why the fi rst writer feels
the movie is worth seeing and exactly why the second writer is attending college.
Each of the fi ve points below is followed by two attempts at support (a and b). Write S (for specifi c) in the space next to the one that succeeds in providing spe- cifi c support for the point. Write X in the space next to the one that lacks supporting details.
1. My cat is extremely bright.
a. He knows how to solve problems. He also recognizes people he
knows.
ACTIVITY 4
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62 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
b. When he gets lost in the basement, he simply grasps the door
latch, pulls down on it, and opens the door. He also distinguishes
between family members and strangers. When a classmate of
mine came by last week, my cat jumped on my lap and rubbed
himself against my face, but he refused to go near our guest.
2. The thrift store was terribly fi lthy.
a. The fi rst thing I noticed was the awful smell as soon as I entered
the door. It reminded me of unwashed socks in a locker room.
The fl oor had a shiny, greasy fi lm on it that looked like an oil
slick on water. None of the clothes had been washed.
b. It had an awful smell. The fl oor was sticky and gross. The
clothes were dirty. It was hard to miss that smell, which was just
really awful to experience.
3. Professor DeMarco is an excellent math teacher.
a. He keeps extra offi ce hours for students who are having trouble
understanding the homework or the material presented in class.
He questions students individually in class to make sure that ev-
eryone understands what is being discussed. If not, he explains
the subject again in a different way to make it clearer.
b. He cares about students, makes his classes interesting, and has
taught me a great deal. I think these must be the reasons he is
well liked and considered such a good teacher.
4. My brother-in-law is a workaholic.
a. He works twelve hours a day at the accounting fi rm he started.
Then he comes home, gulps down some dinner, opens his brief-
case, turns on his computer, and puts in another three hours.
b. He’s at it all the time. He spends a lot of time at the offi ce even
though he’s the boss. Then he comes home and does more work.
Sometimes he’s working late into the night.
5. Blue Stem is my favorite restaurant.
a. The food is very good. The décor and atmosphere are really cool,
making this a really popular place in town. In fact, it’s one of the
most popular places in town. Also, the staff is friendly.
b. The food is well prepared and creative. The atmosphere is upbeat
and funky. The décor is very comfortable, yet trendy. The wait
staff is attentive and helpful.
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Follow the directions for Activity 4.
1. Students use their phones in a variety of ways.
a. Students call and text their friends, use various apps for
different activities, take pictures of friends and family, and
listen to music.
b. Students call and text their friends, use apps like Facebook and
Twitter, take and share pictures with Instagram, and listen to
music through iTunes and Pandora.
2. Soccer is a better sport than football.
a. Soccer fans are known for their passionate support of their
teams. Soccer matches last ninety minutes compared to football
games that can go on and on. Soccer matches involve a lot of
game time, but football games have a lot of downtime.
b. Although players in both types of sports incur concussions, soc-
cer players suffer fewer concussions than do football players.
Soccer matches last ninety minutes compared to football games
that typically run three hours. Soccer is played by both men and
women, but football is a predominantly male sport.
3. Rico knew very little about cooking when he got his fi rst apartment.
a. He had to live on whatever he had in the freezer for a while. He
was not any good in the kitchen and had to learn very slowly.
More often than not, he would learn how to cook something only
by making mistakes fi rst.
E X P L A N AT I O N
The specifi c support for point 1 is answer b, which vividly describes the cat’s behavior to prove that he is bright. For point 2, answer a gives specifi c examples to describe why and exactly how the store was fi lthy. For point 3, answer a goes beyond general statements and opinions about the profes- sor. For point 4, answer a goes beyond telling us that the brother-in-law is a workaholic; it also gives examples of his day and evening work habits. For point 5, answer b provides more specifi c adjectives to support why the restaurant is good. In each case the specifi c evidence enables us to see for ourselves that the writer’s point is valid.
ACTIVITY 5
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64 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
b. He lived on macaroni and cheese TV dinners for three weeks.
His idea of cooking an egg was to put a whole egg in the micro-
wave, where it exploded. Then he tried to make a grilled cheese
sandwich by putting slices of cheese and bread in a toaster.
4. Small children can have as much fun with ordinary household items as with
costly toys.
a. A large sheet thrown over a dining room table makes a great
hideout. Banging pot covers together creates a tremendous crash
that kids love. Also, children really enjoy turning large cardboard
boxes into trains, cars, and airplanes and “driving” them around
the house.
b. Kids can make musical instruments out of practically anything.
The result is a lot of noise and fun. They can easily create
their own play areas as well by using a little imagination.
There is simply no need to have to spend a lot of money on
playthings.
5. Speaking before a group is a problem for many people.
a. They become uncomfortable even at the thought of speaking in
public. They will go to almost any length to avoid speaking to
a group. If they are forced to do it, they can feel so anxious that
they actually develop physical symptoms.
b. Stage fright, stammering, and blushing are frequent reactions.
Some people will pretend to be ill to avoid speaking publicly.
When asked to rank their worst fears, people often list public
speaking as even worse than death.
The Importance of Adequate Details One of the most common and most serious problems in students’ writing is in-
adequate development. You must provide enough specifi c details to support fully the point you are making. You could not, for example, submit a paragraph about
your brother-in-law being rude and provide only a single short example. You
would have to add several other examples or provide an extended example of your
brother-in-law’s rudeness. Without such additional support, your paragraph would
be underdeveloped.
At times, students try to disguise an undersupported point by using repetition
and wordy generalities. You saw this, for example, in paragraph A (“Reasons for
Going to College”) on page 56. Be prepared to do the plain hard work needed to
ensure that each of your paragraphs has full, solid support.
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The following paragraphs were written on the same topic, and each has a clear
opening point. Which one is adequately developed? Which one has few particu-
lars and uses mostly vague, general, wordy sentences to conceal the fact that it is
starved for specifi c details?
PARAGRAPH A
ACTIVITY 6
Florida
Florida, the Sunshine State, is known as a place where many senior citizens spend their retirement because of the fabulous weather. However, this state offers something for people of all ages. Recreational opportunities are abundant. First, Florida is a peninsula—that is, two- thirds of it is surrounded by water—so there are plenty of places to go swimming, boating, fi shing, wind surfi ng, and water skiing. In the interior, Florida offers many gorgeous lakes for similar activities or simply for observing animals such as alligators, snakes, panthers, tortoises, herons, ibis, egrets, cranes, and fl amingos in their native habitats. Florida is also an entertainment mecca. Besides the most famous attractions—Disney World, Universal Studios, and Busch Gardens—there are theme parks such as SeaWorld, Legoland, and Discovery Cove. In addition, every major city has theaters, museums, and concert halls of all kinds. One of the most fascinating is the Salvador Dalí Museum in St. Petersburg, which features the works of the famous Spanish artist. Floridians are also proud of their great professional athletic teams, such as the Miami Dolphins, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Florida Marlins, the Tampa Bay Rays, and the Miami Heat. Daytona Beach, right off Route 95 on Florida’s eastern coast, is home to what some people call the World Series of stock car racing. Finally, Florida has many fi ne colleges and universities, from local community colleges, such as Miami-Dade Community College, to Florida State University and the University of Florida. Perhaps all of this is why this state has had the greatest rate of population growth in the country.
PARAGRAPH B
Florida
Lots of older people retire to Florida because of the weather. After all, it’s not called the Sunshine State for nothing. However, that is not the only reason that more and more people are moving to Florida from other parts of the country. There’s simply a lot to do there, which makes the state very
continued
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66 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Complete the following statement: Paragraph provides an adequate number of specifi c details to support its point.
Paragraph A offers detailed examples of Florida’s many attractions. Para-
graph B, on the other hand, is underdeveloped. Paragraph B speaks only of “water
sports” such as swimming, but paragraph A mentions boating, fi shing, surfi ng,
and water skiing, as well. Paragraph B talks in a general way about Florida as an
entertainment mecca, but paragraph A mentions specifi c attractions such as Dis-
ney World and Universal Studios. When discussing Florida’s sports, paragraph B
claims that the state has many professional teams, but paragraph A names several
teams, such as the Dolphins and the Marlins. In short, paragraph A has the detail
that paragraph B lacks.
attractive to potential newcomers. First, there’s water sports. One can swim or just relax at one of Florida’s many beaches. Then there are many lakes where the state’s exotic wildlife can be seen in their natural habitats. Also, Florida is an entertainment mecca. Theme parks attract millions of visitors from all over the world the year round. Seniors, adults, and children really love these places. They are certainly family friendly. In addition, every major city has theaters, museums, and concert halls of all kinds. Floridians also love their professional sports teams, and almost every professional sport is represented, including stock car racing. Finally, there are many excellent colleges and universities in the state. Perhaps all of this is why this state has had the greatest rate of population growth in the country.
To check your understanding of the chapter so far, see if you can answer the
following questions.
1. It has been observed: “To write well, the fi rst thing that you must do is
decide what nail you want to drive home.” What is meant by nail?
2. How do you drive home the nail in the paragraph?
3. What are the two reasons for using specifi c details in your writing?
a.
b.
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Practice in Making and Supporting a Point You now know the two most important steps in competent writing: (1) making a
point and (2) supporting that point with specifi c evidence. The purpose of this sec-
tion is to expand and strengthen your understanding of these two basic steps.
You will fi rst work through a series of activities on making a point:
1. Identifying Common Errors in Topic Sentences
2. Understanding the Two Parts of a Topic Sentence
3. Selecting a Topic Sentence
4. Writing a Topic Sentence: I
5. Writing a Topic Sentence: II
You will then sharpen your understanding of specifi c details by working through a
series of activities on supporting a point:
6. Recognizing Specifi c Details: I
7. Recognizing Specifi c Details: II
8. Providing Supporting Evidence
9. Identifying Adequate Supporting Evidence
10. Adding Details to Complete a Paragraph
11. Writing a Simple Paragraph
1 Identifying Common Errors in Topic Sentences When writing a point, or topic sentence, people sometimes make mistakes that
undermine their chances of producing an effective paper. One mistake is to substi-
tute an announcement of the topic for a true topic sentence. Other mistakes include
writing statements that are too broad or too narrow. Following are examples of all
three errors, along with contrasting examples of effective topic sentences.
Announcement My car is the concern of this paragraph.
The statement above is a simple announcement of a subject, rather than a topic
sentence expressing an idea about the subject.
Statement That Is Too Broad Many people have problems with their cars.
The statement is too broad to be supported adequately with specifi c details in a
single paragraph.
Statement That Is Too Narrow My car is a Ford Focus.
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68 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
The preceding statement is too narrow to be expanded into a paragraph. Such a nar-
row statement is sometimes called a dead-end statement because there is no place to go with it. It is a simple fact that does not need or call for any support.
Effective Topic Sentence I hate my car.
The statement above expresses an opinion that could be supported in a paragraph.
The writer could offer a series of specifi c supporting reasons, examples, and details
to make it clear why he or she hates the car.
Here are additional examples:
Announcements The subject of this paper will be my apartment.
I want to talk about increases in the divorce rate.
Statements That Are Too Broad The places where people live have defi nite effects on their lives.
Many people have trouble getting along with others.
Statements That Are Too Narrow I have no hot water in my apartment at night.
Almost one of every two marriages ends in divorce.
Effective Topic Sentences My apartment is a terrible place to live.
The divorce rate is increasing for several reasons.
For each pair of sentences below, write A beside the sentence that only announces a topic. Write OK beside the sentence that advances an idea about the topic.
1. a. This paper is about what not to do on a fi rst date.
b. There are three things to avoid so the fi rst date isn’t the last date.
2. a. I am going to write about my job as a Starbucks barista.
b. Working at Starbucks as a barista was the best job I had during
college.
3. a. Keeping to a strict budget is this paragraph’s focus.
b. College students can save money by giving up cigarettes, beer,
and pizza.
4. a. In several ways, the tennis club in my town is a great bargain.
b. This paragraph will deal with the local tennis club.
ACTIVITY 7
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5. a. My paper will discuss the topic of fi shing.
b. The following steps will help anyone become a great fi sher.
For each pair of sentences below, write TN beside the statement that is too narrow to be developed into a paragraph. Write OK beside the statement in each pair that could be developed into a paragraph.
1. a. I do push-ups and sit-ups each morning.
b. Exercising every morning has had positive effects on my health.
2. a. José works nine hours a day and then goes to school three hours a
night.
b. José is an ambitious man.
3. a. I started college after being away from school for seven years.
b. Several of my fears about returning to school have proved to be
groundless.
4. a. I watched a show on the Discovery Channel.
b. The Discovery Channel show on chimpanzees that I watched
provided information on language acquisition that I can use when
writing my psychology paper.
5. a. My brother was depressed yesterday for several reasons.
b. Yesterday my brother had to pay fi fty-two dollars for a motor
tune-up.
ACTIVITY 8
ACTIVITY 9For each pair of sentences below, write TB beside the statement that is too broad to be supported adequately in a short paper. Write OK beside the statement that makes a limited point.
1. a. Angela is very intelligent.
b. Angela has the qualifi cations to be a great lawyer.
2. a. Computers are very helpful.
b. Writing a paper on a computer can save a student time, money,
and headaches.
3. a. I chose to take Advanced Placement English for three reasons.
b. I have always loved studying.
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70 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
4. a. Weddings are a waste of money.
b. Engaged couples are often so excited about the wedding that they
overspend.
5. a. Golf is a great sport that has taught me much.
b. I have learned to be both physically fi t and morally honest
through the sport of golf.
2 Understanding the Two Parts of a Topic Sentence As stated earlier, the point that opens a paragraph is often called a topic sentence. When you look closely at a point, or topic sentence, you can see that it is made up
of two parts:
1. The limited topic
2. The writer’s attitude toward, or idea about, the limited topic
The writer’s attitude, point of view, or idea is usually expressed in one or more
key words. All the details in a paragraph should support the idea expressed in the key words. In each of the topic sentences below, a single line appears under the
topic and a double line under the idea about the topic (expressed in a key word or
key words):
My dog is extremely stubborn.
Texting while driving is against the law in many states.
The kitchen is the most widely used room in my house.
Voting should be required by law in the United States.
My pickup truck is the most reliable vehicle I have ever owned.
In the fi rst sentence, the topic is dog, and the key words that express the writer’s idea about his topic are that his dog is extremely stubborn. In the second sentence, the topic is texting while driving, and the key words that determine the focus of the paragraph are against the law. Notice each topic and key word or key words in the other three sentences as well.
ACTIVITY 10 For each point below, draw a single line under the topic and a double line under the idea about the topic.
1. The house provided every comfort a young person would want.
2. Spaniards eat dinner very late.
3. Nurses at our local hospital are well trained.
4. The capital of Hungary, which is Budapest, was once two separate cities.
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5. Finding information for research papers has become easier because of the
Internet.
6. The zoo contains many exotic animals.
7. Post-partum depression has several warning signs.
8. Ladybugs are very benefi cial for gardeners.
9. The city’s new bridge has several drawbacks.
10. The Senate voted to increase funding to the nation’s schools.
11. The age that teenagers can get their drivers’ licenses should be raised to
eighteen.
12. The school cafeteria should provide higher quality food.
13. Advertisers should follow stricter regulations.
14. My boss is a very unkind person.
15. Developers should be required to plant two new trees for every one they
remove.
16. My horse is very temperamental.
17. The violence in many movies is too graphic.
18. Neglected children often turn out to have problems later in life.
19. Television advertisements for prescription medications should not be allowed
to air.
20. Elementary-school teachers are often very selfl ess.
3 Selecting a Topic Sentence Remember that a paragraph is made up of a topic sentence and a group of related
sentences developing the topic sentence. It is also helpful to remember that the
topic sentence is a general statement. The other sentences provide specifi c support for the general statement.
Each group of sentences below could be written as a short paragraph. Circle the
letter of the topic sentence in each case. To fi nd the topic sentence, ask yourself,
“Which is a general statement supported by the specifi c details in the other three
statements?”
Begin by trying the example item below. First circle the letter of the sentence
you think expresses the main idea. Then read the explanation.
ACTIVITY 11
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72 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
example a. If you stop carrying matches or a lighter, you can cut down on impulse
smoking.
b. If you sit in no-smoking areas, you will smoke less.
c. You can behave in ways that will help you smoke less.
d. By keeping a record of when and where you smoke, you can identify the
most tempting situations and then avoid them.
E X P L A N AT I O N
Sentence a explains one way to smoke less. Sentences b and d also provide specifi c ways to smoke less. In sentence c, however, no one specifi c way is explained. The words ways that will help you smoke less refer only generally to such methods. Therefore, sentence c is the topic sentence; it expresses the au- thor’s main idea. The other sentences support that idea by providing examples.
1. a. The kitchen and the baths had been remodeled.
b. The house was well maintained.
c. The roof, furnace, and air conditioner were new.
d. The yard had just been landscaped.
2. a. This car costs less than comparable models.
b. My car is economical.
c. It gets forty-one miles per gallon.
d. After 75,000 miles, I have replaced only the tires and brakes.
3. a. The last time I ate at the diner, I got food poisoning and was sick for two
days.
b. The city inspector found roaches and mice in the diner’s kitchen.
c. Our town diner is a health hazard and ought to be closed down.
d. The toilets in the diner often back up, and the sinks have only a trickle of
water.
4. a. The History Channel and the Discovery Channel are informative.
b. Viewers of shows like This Old House can learn a lot about home maintenance.
c. Television can be a tool for education.
d. Several cable networks offer shows discussing important health issues.
5. a. In early colleges, students were mostly white males.
b. Colleges of two centuries ago were quite different from today’s schools.
c. All students in early colleges had to take the same courses.
d. The entire student body at early schools would be only a few dozen people.
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4 Writing a Topic Sentence: I The following activity will give you practice in writing an accurate point, or topic
sentence—one that is neither too broad nor too narrow for the supporting material
in a paragraph. Sometimes you will construct your topic sentence after you have
decided which details you want to discuss. An added value of this activity is that
it shows you how to write a topic sentence that will exactly match the details you
have developed.
1. Topic sentence:
a. Thomas Jefferson read Latin, Greek, French, Italian, and other foreign
languages.
b. His library contained more than 6,400 books.
c. He designed his magnifi cent mansion at Monticello after teaching himself
architecture.
d. He was an excellent writer, an accomplished musician, and a political genius.
2. Topic sentence:
a. Only about thirty people came to the dance, instead of the expected two
hundred.
b. The band arrived late and spent an hour setting up.
c. There were at least three males at the dance to every female.
d. An hour after the dance started, it ended because of a power failure.
3. Topic sentence:
a. We had to wait half an hour even though we had reserved a table.
b. Our appetizer and main course arrived at the same time.
c. The busboy ignored our requests for more water.
d. The wrong desserts were served to us.
4. Topic sentence:
a. People who settled the American frontier had to clear dense forests.
b. They had to fi ght off deadly diseases that threatened them and their
animals.
c. The weather, which was unpredictable, sometimes destroyed their crops.
d. Because knowledge of farming methods was limited, they sometimes
failed to grow enough food to sustain themselves.
ACTIVITY 12
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74 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
5. Topic sentence:
a. The crowd scenes were crudely spliced from another fi lm.
b. Mountains and other background scenery were just painted cardboard
cutouts.
c. The “sync” was off, so that you heard voices even when the actors’ lips
were not moving.
d. The so-called monster was just a spider that had been fi lmed through a
magnifying lens.
5 Writing a Topic Sentence: II Often you will start with a general topic or a general idea of what you want to
write about. You may, for example, want to write a paragraph about some aspect of
school life. To come up with a point about school life, begin by limiting your topic.
One way to do this is to make a list of all the limited topics you can think of that
fi t under the general topic.
Following are fi ve general topics and a series of limited topics that fi t under them.
Make a point out of one of the limited topics in each group. ACTIVITY 13
To create a topic sentence, ask yourself, “What point do I want to make about (my limited topic)?”HI
NT
example Recreation
• Movies
• Dancing
• TV shows
• Reading
• Sports parks
Your point:
1. Your school
• Instructor
• Cafeteria
• Specifi c course
Sports parks today have some truly ex citing games .
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• Particular room or building
• Particular policy (attendance, grading, etc.)
• Classmate
Your point:
2. Job
• Pay
• Boss
• Working conditions
• Duties
• Coworkers
• Customers or clients
Your point:
3. Money
• Budgets
• Credit cards
• Dealing with a bank
• School expenses
• Ways to get it
• Ways to save it
Your point:
4. Living dangerously
• Sky diving
• Drag racing
• Unprotected sex
• Drinking and driving
• Snowbarding and skiing accidents
Your point:
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76 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
5. Sports
• A team’s chances
• At your school
• Women’s team
• Recreational versus spectator
• Favorite team
• Outstanding athlete
Your point:
6 Recognizing Specifi c Details: I Specifi c details are examples, reasons, particulars, and facts. Such details are needed to support and explain a topic sentence effectively. They provide the evi-
dence needed for readers to understand, as well as to feel and experience, a writer’s
point.
Here is a topic sentence followed by two sets of supporting sentences. Which
set provides sharp, specifi c details?
Topic Sentence Some poor people must struggle to make meals for themselves.
Set A They gather up whatever free food they can fi nd in fast-food restaurants and take
it home to use however they can. Instead of planning well-balanced meals, they
base their diet on anything they can buy that is cheap and fi lling.
Set B Some make tomato soup by adding hot water to the free packets of ketchup
they get at McDonald’s. Others buy cans of cheap dog food and fry it like
hamburger.
Set B provides specifi c details: Instead of a general statement about “free food
they fi nd in fast-food restaurants and take . . . home to use however they can,” we get
a vivid detail we can see and picture clearly: “make tomato soup [from] free packets
of ketchup.” Instead of a general statement about how the poor will “base their diet
on anything they can buy that is cheap and fi lling,” we get exact and vivid details:
“Others buy cans of cheap dog food and fry it like hamburger.”
Specifi c details are often like the information we might fi nd in a movie script.
They provide us with such clear pictures that we could make a fi lm of them if we
wanted to. You would know just how to fi lm the information given in set B. You
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would show a poor person breaking open a packet of ketchup from McDonald’s and
mixing it with water to make a kind of tomato soup. You would show someone open-
ing a can of dog food and frying its contents like hamburger.
In contrast, the writer of set A fails to provide the specifi c information needed.
If you were asked to make a fi lm based on set A, you would have to fi gure out for
yourself what particulars you were going to show.
When you are working to provide specifi c supporting information in a paper,
it might help to ask yourself, “Could someone easily fi lm this information?” If the
answer is “yes,” you probably have good details.
Each topic sentence below is followed by two sets of supporting details (a and b). Write S (for specifi c) in the space next to the set that provides specifi c support for the point. Write G (for general) next to the set that offers only vague, general support.
1. Topic sentence: Attila the Hun was a fi erce and bloody ruler.
a. After he became king of the Huns (A.D. 434), a people who lived
in an area of eastern Europe that approximates the site of modern
Hungary, Attila murdered his brother and coruler, Bleda. Then he
wreaked havoc on eastern and central Europe, conquering many
peoples who lived in that area, which now includes Poland, the
Czech Republic, Austria, Slovakia, and Romania. In 450, he in-
vaded Gaul (now France), which was a Roman province, and later
Italy, where he killed thousands of people, wiped out several vil-
lages and small cities, and burned farmland.
b. Attila became king of the Huns in the fi fth century. The Huns
lived in central Europe. Shortly after taking the throne, he killed
his brother. Then he attacked his neighbors, conquering many of
the people around him. He also invaded France and Italy, where
he killed thousands of others and caused much destruction.
2. Topic sentence: Roberta is very aggressive.
a. Her aggressiveness is apparent in both her personal and her
professional life. She is never shy about extending social invi-
tations. And while some people are turned off by her aggressive
attitude, others are impressed by it and enjoy doing business
with her.
b. When she meets a man she likes, she is quick to say, “Let’s go
out sometime. What’s your phone number?” In her job as a furni-
ture salesperson, she will follow potential customers out onto the
sidewalk as she tries to persuade them to buy.
ACTIVITY 14
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3. Topic sentence: Our new kitten causes us lots of trouble.
a. He has shredded the curtains in my bedroom with his claws. He
nearly drowned when he crawled into the washing machine. And
my hands look like raw hamburger from his playful bites and
scratches.
b. He seems to destroy everything he touches. He’s always getting
into places where he doesn’t belong. Sometimes he plays too
roughly, and that can be painful.
4. Topic sentence: My landlord is softhearted.
a. Even though he wrote them himself, he sometimes ignores the
offi cial apartment rules in order to make his tenants happy.
b. Although the lease states “No pets,” he brought my daughter a
puppy after she told him how much she missed having one.
5. Topic sentence: The library is a distracting place to try to study.
a. It’s hard to concentrate when a noisy eight-person poker game is
going on on the fl oor beside you. It’s also distracting to overhear
remarks like, “Hey, Baby, what’s your mother’s address? I want to
send her a thank-you card for having such a beautiful daughter.”
b. Many students meet in the library to do group activities and so-
cialize with one another. Others go there to fl irt. It’s easy to get
more interested in all that activity than in paying attention to
your studies.
7 Recognizing Specifi c Details: II At several points in the following paragraphs, you are given a choice of two sets of
supporting details. Write S (for specifi c) in the space next to the set that provides specifi c support for the point. Write G (for general) next to the set that offers only vague, general support.
PARAGRAPH 1 My daughter’s boyfriend is a good-for-nothing young man. After knowing him
for just three months, everyone in our family is opposed to the relationship. For
one thing, Russell is lazy.
a. He is always fi nding an excuse to avoid putting in an honest day’s
work. He never pitches in and helps with chores around our house, even
when he’s asked directly to do so. And his attitude about his job isn’t
any better. To hear him tell it, he deserves special treatment in the work-
place. He thinks he’s gone out of his way if he just shows up on time.
ACTIVITY 15
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b. After starting a new job last week, he announced this Monday that
he wasn’t going to work because it was his birthday—as if he were somebody special. And when my husband asked Russell to help put
storm windows on the house next Saturday, Russell answered that he
uses his weekends to catch up on sleep.
Another quality of Russell’s which no one likes is that he is cheap.
c. When my daughter’s birthday came around, Russell said he would
take her out to Baldoni’s, a fancy Italian restaurant. Then he changed
his mind. Instead of spending a lot of money on a meal, he said,
he wanted to buy her a really nice pair of earrings. So my daughter
cooked dinner for him at her apartment. But there was no present, not
even a little one. He claims he’s waiting for a jewelry sale at Macy’s.
I don’t think my daughter will ever see that “really nice” gift.
d. He makes big promises about all the nice things he’s going to do for
my daughter, but he never comes through. His words are cheap, and
so is he. He’s all talk and no action. My daughter isn’t greedy, but it
hurts her when Russell says he’s going to take her someplace nice or
give her something special and then nothing happens.
Worst of all, Russell is mean.
e. Russell seems to get special pleasure from hurting people when he
feels they have a weak point. I have heard him make remarks that
to him were funny but were really very insensitive. You’ve got to
wonder about someone who needs to be ugly to other people just for
the sake of being powerful. Sometimes I want to let him know how I
feel.
f. When my husband was out of work, Russell said to him, “Well,
you’ve got it made now, living off your wife.” After my husband
glared at him, he said, “Why’re you getting sore? I’m just kidding.”
Sometimes he snaps at my daughter, saying things like “Don’t make
me wait—there are plenty of other babes who would like to take your
place.” At such times I want to toss him out to the curb.
Everyone in the family is waiting anxiously for the day when my daughter will see
Russell the way the rest of us see him.
PARAGRAPH 2 Many adult children move back in with their parents for some period of time.
Although living with Mom and Dad again has some advantages, there are certain
problems that are likely to arise. One common problem is that children may expect
their parents to do all the household chores.
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80 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
a. They never think that they should take on their share of work around
the house. Not only do they not help with their parents’ chores; they
don’t even take responsibility for the extra work that their presence
creates. Like babies, they go through the house making a mess that
the parents are supposed to clean up. It’s as if they think their parents
are their servants.
b. They expect meals to appear on the table as if by magic. After
they’ve eaten, they go off to work or play, never thinking about who’s
going to do the dishes. They drop their dirty laundry beside the wash-
ing machine, assuming that Mom or Dad will attend to it and return
clean, folded clothes to their bedroom door. And speaking of their
bedrooms: Every day they await the arrival of Mom’s Maid Service to
make the bed, pick up the fl oor, and dust the furniture.
Another frequent problem is that parents forget their adult children are no longer
adolescents.
c. Parents like this want to know everything about their adult children’s
lives. They don’t think their kids, even though they are adults, should
have any privacy. Whenever they see their children doing anything,
they want to know all the details. It’s as though their children are still
teenagers who are expected to report all their activities. Naturally,
adult children get irritated when they are treated as if they were little
kids.
d. They may insist upon knowing far more about their children’s com-
ings and goings than the children want to share. For example, if
such parents see their adult son heading out the door, they demand,
“Where are you going? Who will you be with? What will you be
doing? What time will you be back?” In addition, they may not let
their adult child have any privacy. If their daughter and a date are
sitting in the living room, for instance, they may join them there
and start peppering the young man with questions about his fam-
ily and his job, as if they were interviewing him for the position of
son-in-law.
Finally, there may be fi nancial problems when an adult child returns to live at
home.
e. Having an extra adult in the household creates extra expenses. But
many adult children don’t offer to help deal with those extra costs.
Adult children often eat at home, causing the grocery bill to climb.
They may stay in a formerly unused room, which now needs to be
heated and lit. They produce extra laundry to be washed. They run
up the family’s cell-phone bills. For all these reasons, adult children
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should expect to pay a reasonable fee to their parents for room and
board.
f. It’s expensive to have another adult living in the household. Adult
children would be paying a lot of bills on their own if they weren’t
staying with their parents. It’s only fair that they share the expenses
at their parents’ house. They should consider all the ways that their
living at home is increasing their parents’ expenses. Then they should
insist on covering their share of the costs.
8 Providing Supporting Evidence Provide three details that logically support each of the following points, or topic
sentences. Your details can be drawn from your own experience, or they can be
invented. In each case, the details should show in a specifi c way what the point
expresses in only a general way. You may state your details briefl y in phrases, or
as complete sentences.
example The student had several ways of passing time during the dull lecture.
1. I could tell I was coming down with the fl u.
2. There are several ways to save gas.
3. I had car problems recently.
Shielded his ey es with his hand and dozed awhile.
Read the sports magazine he had brought to class .
Made an elaborate drawing on a page of his not ebook.
ACTIVITY 16
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82 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
4. When money gets tight, there are several ways to economize.
5. Some people have dangerous driving habits.
9 Identifying Adequate Supporting Evidence Three of the following paragraphs provide suffi cient details to support their topic
sentences convincingly. Write AD, for adequate development, beside those para- graphs. There are also two paragraphs that, for the most part, use vague, general, or
wordy sentences as a substitute for concrete details. Write U, for underdeveloped, beside those paragraphs.
ACTIVITY 17
1. My Husband’s Stubbornness
My husband’s worst problem is his stubbornness. He simply will not let any kind of weakness show. If he isn’t feeling well, he refuses to admit it. He will keep on doing whatever he is doing and will wait until the symptoms get almost unbearable before he will even hint that anything is the matter with him. Then things are so far along that he has to spend more time recovering than he would if he had a different attitude. He also hates to be wrong. If he is wrong, he will be the last to admit it. This happened once when we went shopping, and he spent an endless amount of time going from one place to the next. He insisted that one of them had a fantastic sale on things he wanted. We never found a sale, but the fact that this situation happened will not change his attitude. Finally, he never listens to anyone else’s suggestions on a car trip. He always knows he’s on the right road, and the results have led to a lot of time wasted getting back in the right direction. Every time one of these incidents happens, that only means that it is going to happen again in the future.
2. The Aztecs
Before the Spaniards came to Mexico, the native inhabitants had developed advanced civilizations. For example, when the Europeans arrived, the Aztecs controlled much of the southwestern portion of
continued
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3. Social Saving
The power of the group is often stronger than the power of the individual. This is demonstrated in the blossoming of online group coupon sites like LivingSocial, Groupon, and Dealster. By exercising group buying power, users are able to save money on food, clothing, and entertainment. Most sites offer discounts of at least 50 percent for consumers. Many sites like BuyWithMe and Gilt City can be personalized to help users fi nd deals in specifi c cities. These are good sites not just for people who live in the area, but also for savvy travelers. For example, in preparation for a visit to San Francisco, travelers can subscribe to Gilt City and purchase coupons to be used during the vacation. The coupons could be applied toward a six-course dinner or the opportunity to watch the America’s Cup fi nals aboard a WWII Liberty Ship. BuyWithMe is not just a social group coupon, but a portion of each of the proceeds goes to local charities—often chosen by the customer from a provided list. Such charities might include local schools, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, or museums. Group buying power was, is, and will continue to be a powerful economical force.
4. Qualities in a Friend
There are several qualities I look for in a friend. A friend should give support and security. A friend should also be fun to be around. Friends can have faults, like anyone else, and sometimes it is hard to overlook them. But a friend can’t be dropped because he or she has faults. A friend should stick around, even in bad times. There is a saying that “a friend in need is a friend indeed.” I believe this means that there are good friends and fair-weather friends. The
present-day Mexico. They had built cities that were as large as, or larger than, many European cities of the sixteenth century. In fact, their capital, Tenochtitlán, had 200,000 to 300,000 inhabitants, more than any European capital. The Aztecs built immense temples and government buildings, and they developed a vibrant economy. In the central market of Tenochtitlán, 60,000 people conducted business each day. They also developed a writing system based on pictographs (small pictures), wrote poetry, recorded their history, and composed music. Their government and armies were highly organized. They created a system to collect taxes, they practiced a sophisticated system of religion, and they even took a census.
continued
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84 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
10 Adding Details to Complete a Paragraph Each of the following paragraphs needs specifi c details to back up its supporting
points. In the spaces provided, add a sentence or two of realistic details for each
supporting point. The more specifi c you are, the more convincing your details are
likely to be.
1. A Pushover Instructor
We knew after the fi rst few classes that the instructor was a pushover. First of all, he didn’t seem able to control the class.
second type is not a true friend. He or she is the kind of person who runs when there’s trouble. Friends don’t always last a lifetime. Someone who is believed to be a best friend may lose contact if he or she moves to a different area or goes around with a different group of people. A friend should be generous and understanding. Friends do not have to be exactly like each other. Sometimes friends are opposites, but they still like each other and get along. Since I am a very quiet person, I can’t say that I have many friends. But these are the qualities I believe a friend should have.
5. Learning Outside the Classroom
Colleges should require that all students take a service learning course. Service learning not only combines classroom study and community service, but it introduces students to hands-on training and helps create a sense of well-being in students. Students in biology classes often partake in waterway clean-up projects. These students gain a sense of contributing to their community and helping improve the environment, while at the same time they are able to study plants and wildlife and learn just how humans positively and negatively affect specifi c ecosystems. Students in education classes can volunteer at local schools, offering services like free tutoring, aiding teachers, and campus clean-up programs. Not only will this volunteer work have a positive impact on the schools’ communities, but it will introduce future teachers to ways of bettering the very environments they will be working in. Students in English composition classes can participate in local adult literacy programs, helping tutor adults in reading and writing. As these students gain a sense of purpose and help increase community literacy, they will also be improving their own reading and writing skills. Service learning improves both classroom learning and lifelong learning and should be a requirement for every college graduate.
ACTIVITY 18
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In addition, he made some course requirements easier when a few students complained.
Finally, he gave the easiest quiz we had ever taken.
2. Helping a Parent in College
There are several ways a family can help a parent who is attending college. First, family members can take over some of the household chores that the parent usually does.
Also, family members can make sure that the student has some quiet study time.
Last, families can take an interest in the student’s problems and accomplishments.
11 Writing a Simple Paragraph You know now that an effective paragraph does two essential things: (1) It makes
a point. (2) It provides specifi c details to support that point. You have considered a
number of paragraphs that are effective because they follow these two basic steps
or ineffective because they fail to follow them.
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86 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
You are ready, then, to write a simple paragraph of your own. Choose one of
the three assignments below, and follow carefully the guidelines provided.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1 Turn back to the activity on pages 81–82, and select the point for which you have
the best supporting details. Develop that point into a paragraph by following these
steps.
a. If necessary, rewrite the point so that the fi rst sentence is more specifi c or
suits your purpose more exactly. For example, you might write the second
point as follows: “Saving gas will help you economize and protect the
environment.”
b. Provide several sentences of information to develop each of your three
supporting details fully. Make sure that all the information in your
paragraph truly supports your point.
c. Use the words First of all, Second, and Finally to introduce your three supporting details.
d. Conclude your paragraph with a sentence that refers to your opening
point. This last sentence “rounds off ” the paragraph and lets the reader
know that your discussion is complete. For example, the paragraph
“Changes in the Family” on page 52 begins with “Changes in our society
in recent years have weakened family life.” It closes with a statement
that refers to, and echoes, the opening point: “Clearly, modern life is a
challenge to family life.”
e. Supply a title based on your point. For instance, point 4 on page 82 might
have the title “Ways to Economize.”
Use the following list to check your paragraph for each of the above items:
YES NO
Do you begin with a point?
Do you provide relevant, specifi c details that support the
point?
Do you use the words First of all, Second, and Finally to in- troduce your three supporting details?
Do you have a closing sentence?
Do you have a title based on your point?
Are your sentences clear and free of obvious errors?
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WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3
In this chapter you have read two paragraphs (pages 56–57) on reasons for being
in college. For this assignment, write a paragraph describing your own reasons for
being in college. You might want to look fi rst at the following list of common rea-
sons students give for going to school. Write a check mark next to each reason that
applies to you. If you have reasons for being in college that are not listed here, add
them to the list. Then select your three most important reasons for being in school,
and generate specifi c supporting details for each reason.
Before starting, reread paragraph B on page 57. You must provide comparable specifi c details of your own. Make your paragraph truly personal; do not fall back on vague generalities like those in paragraph A on page 56. As you work on your
paragraph, use the checklist for Writing Assignment 1 as a guide.
APPLY IN MY CASE Reasons Students Go to College
To have some fun before getting a job
To prepare for a specifi c career
To please their families
To educate and enrich themselves
To be with friends who are going to college
To take advantage of an opportunity they didn’t have before
To fi nd a husband or wife
To see if college has anything to offer them
To do more with their lives than they’ve done so far
To take advantage of Veterans Administration benefi ts or other
special funding
To earn the status that they feel comes with a college degree
To get a new start in life
Other:
Interview someone in the class. Take notes as you ask the person a series of
questions.
How to Proceed a. Begin by asking a series of factual questions about the person. You might
ask such questions as
• Where is the person from? Where does he or she live now?
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88 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
• Does the person have brothers or sisters? Does the person live with
other people, or alone?
• What kinds of jobs (if any) has the person had? Where does he or she
work now?
• What are the person’s school or career plans? What courses is he or she
taking?
• What are the person’s favorite leisure activities?
Work at getting specifi c details rather than general ones. You do not want
your introduction to include lines such as “Regina graduated from high
school and worked for a year.” You want to state specifi c places and dates:
“Regina graduated from DeWitt Clinton High School in the Bronx in
2011. Within a week of graduation, she had gotten a job as a secretary for
a branch of the Allstate Insurance Company located in Queens.” Or if you
are writing about a person’s favorite activities, you do not want to simply
say, “Regina enjoys watching TV in her few spare hours.” Instead, go on
and add details such as “Her favorite shows are The Bachelor, The Colbert Report, and Glee.”
b. Then ask a series of questions about the person’s attitudes and thoughts on
various matters. You might ask the person’s feeling about his or her
• Writing ability
• Parents
• Boss (if any)
• Courses
• Past schooling
• Strengths and talents
• Areas for self-improvement
You might also ask what things make the person angry or sad or happy,
and why.
c. After collecting all this information, use it in three paragraphs. Begin your
introduction to the person with a line like “This is a short introduction to
. Some interesting biographical information about him (her) is
.” You might then begin your second paragraph with the line
“ has a attitude toward his/her past schooling
and writing ability.” Your third paragraph could then start out by saying
“ is proud of his/her (insert strength/talent), but is hoping to
improve his/her in the future.”
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This chapter will show you how to
• organize specifi c evidence in a paper by using a clear method of organization
• connect the specifi c evidence by using transitions and other connecting words
The Third Step in Writing
C H A P T E R
HOW DO YOU STUDY FOR A TEST? Look at this photograph, and write a paragraph in which you tell a new college student how to study for an important exam. Once you have read through Chapter 4, read your paragraph again. Did you use time order, emphatic order, or a combination of both to organize your paragraph?
HHHOOOWWW DDDOOO YYYOOOUUU SSSTTTUUUDDDYYY FFFOOORRR AAA TTTEEESSSTTT??? Look at this
You know from Chapter 3 that the fi rst two steps in writing an effective
paragraph are making a point and supporting the point with specifi c evi-
dence. This chapter deals with the third step. You’ll learn the chief ways to
organize and connect the supporting information in a paper.
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90 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Step 3: Organize and Connect the Specifi c Evidence At the same time that you are generating the specifi c details needed to support a
point, you should be thinking about ways to organize and connect those details.
All the details in your paper must cohere, or stick together; when they do, your reader will be able to move smoothly from one bit of supporting information to
the next. This chapter discusses the following ways to organize and connect sup-
porting details: (1) common methods of organization, (2) transition words, and
(3) other connecting words.
Common Methods of Organization: Time Order and Emphatic Order Time order and emphatic order are common methods used to organize the support-
ing material in a paper. (You will learn more specialized methods of development
in Part 2 of the book.)
Time order simply means that details are listed as they occur in time. First this is done; next this; then this; after that, this; and so on. Here is a paragraph that organizes its details through time order.
How I Relax
The way I relax when I get home from school on Thursday night is, fi rst of all, to put my three children to bed. Next, I run hot water in the tub and put in lots of scented bubble bath. As the bubbles rise, I undress and get into the tub. The water is relaxing to my tired muscles, and the bubbles are tingly on my skin. I lie back and put my feet on the water spigots, with everything but my head under the water. I like to stick my big toe up the spigot and spray water over the tub. After about ten minutes of soaking, I wash myself with scented soap, get out and dry myself off, and put on my nightgown. Then I go downstairs and make myself a ham, lettuce, and tomato sandwich on rye bread and pour myself a tall glass of iced tea with plenty of sugar and ice cubes. I carry these into the living room and turn on the television. To get comfortable, I sit on the couch with a pillow behind me and my legs under me. I enjoy watching The Daily Show or a late movie. The time is very peaceful after a long, hard day of housecleaning, cooking, washing, and attending night class.
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Fill in the missing words: “How I relax” uses the following words to help
show time order: , , , , and
.
Emphatic order is sometimes described as “save-the-best-’til-last” order. It means that the most interesting or important detail is placed in the last part of
a paper. (In cases where all details seem equal in importance, the writer should
impose a personal order that seems logical or appropriate to the details.) The last
position in a paper is the most emphatic position because the reader is most likely
to remember the last thing read. Finally, last of all, and most important are typi- cal words and phrases showing emphasis. The following paragraph organizes its
details through emphatic order.
The National Enquirer
There are several reasons why the National Enquirer is so popular. First of all, the paper is advertised on television. In the ads, attractive- looking people say, with a smile, “I want to know!” as they scan the pages of the Enquirer. The ads reassure people that it’s all right to want to read stories such as “Heartbreak for Jennifer Lopez” or “Prince’s Fiancée in New Royal Topless Scandal.” In addition, the paper is easily available. In supermarkets, convenience stores, and drugstores, the Enquirer is always displayed in racks close to the cash register. As customers wait in line, they can’t help being attracted to the paper’s glaring headlines. Then, on impulse, customers will add the paper to their other purchases. Most of all, people read the Enquirer because they love gossip. We fi nd other people’s lives fascinating, especially if those people are rich and famous. We want to see and read about their homes, their clothes, and their friends, lovers, and families. We also take a kind of mean delight in their unfl attering photos and problems and mistakes, perhaps because we envy them. Even though we may be ashamed of our interest, it’s hard to resist buying a paper that promises “The Forbidden Love of Paris Hilton” or “Film Star Who Now Looks Like a Cadaver” or even “Hollywood Star Wars: Who Hates Whom and Why.” The Enquirer knows how to get us interested and make us buy.
Fill in the missing words: The paragraph lists a total of dif- ferent reasons people read the National Enquirer. The writer of the paragraph feels
that the most important reason is . He or she signals this
reason by using the emphasis words .
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92 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Some paragraphs use a combination of time order and emphatic order. For example, “Why I’m in School” on page 57 includes time order: It moves from
the night the writer’s father confronted him to his current enrollment in a special
program of fi ve courses. In addition, the writer uses emphatic order, ending with
the most important reason (signaled by the words “The main reason”) for returning
to school.
Transition Words Look at the following items. Then check (✓) the one that is easier to read and understand.
Our landlord repainted our apartment. He replaced the dishwasher.
Our landlord repainted our apartment. Also, he replaced the
dishwasher.
You probably found the second item easier to understand. The word also makes it clear that the writer is adding a second way the landlord has been of help. Transi- tions, or transition words, are signal words that help readers follow the direction of the writer’s thoughts. They show the relationship between ideas, connecting thoughts.
They are “bridge” words, carrying the reader across from one idea to the next.
Two major types of transitions are of particular help when you write: words
that show addition and words that show time.
Words Th at Show Addition Check (✓) the item that is easier to read and understand.
1. a. A drinking problem can destroy a person’s life. It can tear a
family apart.
b. A drinking problem can destroy a person’s life. In addition, it can
tear a family apart.
2. a. One way to lose friends is always to talk and never to listen. A way
to end friendships is to borrow money and never pay it back.
b. One way to lose friends is always to talk and never to listen. An-
other way to end friendships is to borrow money and never pay it
back.
In the pair of sentences about a drinking problem, the words In addition help make the relationship between the two sentences clear. The author is describing
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two effects of a drinking problem: it can destroy a life and a family. In addition, another, and words like these are known as addition words. In the pair of sentences about losing friends, you probably found the second item easier to understand.
The word Another makes it clear that the writer is describing a second way to lose friends.
Addition words signal added ideas. They help writers organize information
and present it clearly to readers. Some common words that show addition are listed
in the following box.
Words Th at Show Time Check (✓) the item that is easier to read and understand.
1. a. I had blood work done. I went to the doctor.
b. I had blood work done. Then I went to the doctor.
The word Then in the second item makes clear the relationship between the sen- tences. After having blood work done, the writer goes to the doctor. Then and words like it are time words, which carry the reader from one idea to the next.
Here are some more pairs of sentences. Check (✓) the item in each pair that contains a time word and so is easier to read and understand.
2. a. Every week my uncle studies the food ads to see which stores have
the best specials. He clips all the coupons.
b. Every week my uncle studies the food ads to see which stores have
the best specials. Next, he clips all the coupons.
3. a. Carmen took a very long shower. There was no hot water left for
anyone else in the house.
b. Carmen took a very long shower. After that, there was no hot water
left for anyone else in the house.
Addition Words one to begin with in addition
fi rst another next
fi rst of all second last (of all)
for one thing also fi nally
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94 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
In the pair of sentences about the uncle, the word Next helps make the relationship between the two sentences clear. The uncle studies ads, and then he clips coupons.
In the second pair of sentences, the word after makes the relationship clear. After Carmen’s long shower, there was no hot water left for anyone else.
Time words tell us when something happened in relation to when something else happened. They help writers organize and make clear the order of events,
stages, and steps in a process. Below are some common words that show time.
1. Fill in each blank with the appropriate addition transition from the list that fol-
lows. Use each transition once.
another fi nally one
Time Words before next later
fi rst as after
second when fi nally
third while then
There are some widely popular but inappropriate methods that people
have to combat stress. common strategy is to consume massive quantities of junk food, which is easily done thanks to all the ever-present
convenience stores and fast-food restaurants. way to deal with stress is to doze or sleep for hours and hours, even during the day.
, watching hours of nonstop TV can put people in a stupor that helps them forget the problems of everyday life.
I do not like to write. In fact, I dislike writing so much that I have developed a series of steps for postponing the agony of doing writing
assignments. I tell myself that to proceed without the proper
2. Fill in each blank with the appropriate time transition from the list that follows.
Use each transition once.
then next before fi rst after
continued
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equipment would be unwise. So I go out to buy a new pen, and this
kills at least an hour. , I begin to stare at the blank page.
long, however, I realize that writing may also require thought, so I begin to think deeply about my subject. Soon I feel drowsy. This naturally leads to the conclusion that I need a nap because I can’t throw
myself into my writing until I am at my very best. a refreshing nap, I again face the blank page. It is usually at this stage that I actually
write a sentence or two—disappointing ones. I wisely decide that I need inspiration, perhaps from an interesting magazine or my new XBox game. If I feel a bit guilty, I comfort myself with the knowledge that, as any artist knows, these things cannot be rushed.
3. Underline the three addition signals in the following paragraph.
States should consider getting rid of state lotteries for several reasons. First of all, the way lotteries are advertised is problematic. The commercials promote the lotteries as an easy way to get rich and fi nd happiness. In fact, the odds against getting rich are astronomical, and it is common to see a news story featuring someone who won millions in the lottery and who is claiming bankruptcy within fi ve years. Another reason is that lotteries take advantage of the people who can least afford them. Reports like “Why the Poor Play the Lottery” by Jens Beckert and Mark Lutter have shown that people with lower incomes are more likely to play the lottery than people with higher incomes. As these authors point out, “low-income individuals spend a larger share of their incomes on lottery tickets than those with higher incomes.” This is the harshest reality of the lotteries: the state is encouraging people of limited means not to save their money but to throw it away on a state-supported pipe dream. Last, and most importantly, state lotteries don’t raise the kind of revenue they promise. According to Dr. Patrick Briney’s report, “Eight Reasons to Oppose a State Lottery,” presented to the Arkansas Republican Assembly in 2000, “Thirty-seven states sponsoring lotteries . . . generated $123 in per capita sales [which] amounts to approximately less than one-half of one penny for each dollar of personal income.” This amount of money is small compared to what sales, property, and gas taxes could generate. If states want to increase revenue, they need to fi nd better ways than lotteries.
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96 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
4. Underline the three time signals in the following paragraph.
Of the three meals eaten each day, dinner offers the best opportunity for families to sit down together and connect with one another. First, the morning meal that begins the day is typically very hectic. Many times children are rushing out the door to catch the school bus while parents are scrambling to make it to work on time. Breakfast often includes Pop- Tarts eaten on school buses, lattes purchased from local coffee shops, or doughnuts found in employee workrooms. Next, midday meals are rarely eaten as a family. Children eat their lunches at school, often on different schedules from their siblings. Parents may eat their lunches at their desks while working or in a restaurant with colleagues. Even parents who work at home aren’t able to meet up with family members because schedules often confl ict. Finally, the evening meal often offers the only time when the family is able to connect. Parents have returned from work and children have returned from school. Even though there may be the occasional evening activity that might prevent a dinner together, families should be able to fi nd at least three or four nights a week in which to reconnect.
Other Kinds of Transitions In the following box are other common transitional words, grouped according to
the kind of signal they give readers. In the paragraphs you write, you will most
often use addition words (like fi rst, also, another, and fi nally), but all of the follow- ing signals are helpful to know as well.
Other Common Transitional Words Space signals: next to, across, on the opposite side, to the left, to the right, in front, in back, above, below, behind, nearby
Change-of-direction signals: but, however, yet, in contrast, otherwise, still, on the contrary, on the other hand
Illustration signals: for example, for instance, specifi cally, as an illustration, once, such as
Conclusion signals: therefore, consequently, thus, then, as a result, in summary, to conclude, last of all, fi nally
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1. Underline the four space signals in the following paragraph:
The Lincoln Memorial is located in Washington, D.C. Its cornerstone was laid in 1915. Around the Memorial’s exterior are thirty-six columns representing the thirty-six states of the nation at the time of President Abraham Lincoln’s death in 1865. In front of the building is a large and imposing staircase leading to three large rooms. In the middle room is a statue of the President sitting in a large chair. To the left and right of this room are the north and south chambers, on the walls of which are inscribed quotations from Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and Second Inaugural Address.
In some ways, train travel is superior to air travel. People always marvel at the speed with which airplanes can zip from one end of the country to another. Trains, on the other hand, defi nitely take longer. But sometimes longer can be better. Traveling across the country by train allows people to experience the trip more completely. They get to see the cities and towns, mountains and prairies that too often pass by unnoticed when they fl y. Another advantage of train travel is comfort. Traveling by plane means wedging adult- sized bodies into narrow seats, bumping knees on the back of the seat, and having to pay fi ve dollars for a tiny bag of pretzels. In contrast, the seats on most trains are spacious and comfortable, permitting even the longest-legged traveler to stretch out and watch the scenery just outside the window. And when train travelers grow hungry, they can get up and stroll to the dining car, where they can order anything from a simple snack to a gourmet meal. There’s no question that train travel is defi nitely slow and old-fashioned compared with air travel. However, in many ways it is much more civilized.
2. Underline the four change-of-direction signals in the following paragraph.
3. Underline the three illustration signals in the following selection.
Status symbols are all around us. The cars we drive, for instance, say something about who we are and how successful we have been. The auto makers depend on this perception of automobiles, designing their commercials to show older, well-established people driving luxury sedans and young, fun-loving people driving to the beach in sports cars. Clothing, too, has always been a status symbol. Specifi cally, schoolchildren are often rated by their classmates according to the brand names of their clothing. Another example of a status symbol is the cell phone. This
continued
ACTIVITY 2
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98 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
device, not so long ago considered a novelty, is now used by almost everyone. Being without a cell phone in the twenty-fi rst century is like being without a regular phone in the 1990s.
4. Underline the conclusion signal in the following paragraph.
A hundred years ago, miners used to bring caged canaries down into the mines with them to act as warning signals. If the bird died, the miners knew that the oxygen was running out. The smaller animal would be affected much more quickly than the miners. In the same way, animals are acting as warning signals to us today. Baby birds die before they can hatch because pesticides in the environment cause the adults to lay eggs with paper-thin shells. Fish die when lakes are contaminated with acid rain or poisonous mercury. The dangers in our environment will eventually affect all life on earth, including humans. Therefore, we must pay attention to these early warning signals. If we don’t, we will be as foolish as a miner who ignored a dead canary—and we will die.
Everyone remembers Thomas Alva Edison (1847–1931) as a great inventor; after all, he was issued more than one thousand patents by the United States government, more than any other person to date. However, he also had a head for business. When he was ten years old, he started a fresh produce business, growing vegetables on his family farm and selling them locally. Later, he began selling sandwiches, newspapers, and other goods to train commuters, a business that grew to such an extent that he had to hire other boys to help him. In 1870, Edison established a business in New Jersey manufacturing stock tickers and telegraph equipment. By 1872, sponsored by the Western Union Company, he opened a laboratory
Other Connecting Words In addition to transitions, there are three other kinds of connecting words that help tie
together the specifi c evidence in a paper: repeated words, pronouns, and synonyms.
Repeated Words Many of us have been taught by English instructors—correctly so—not to repeat
ourselves in writing. However, repeating key words can help tie ideas together. In the
paragraph that follows, the word business is repeated to remind readers of the key idea on which the discussion is centered. Underline the word the six times it appears.
continued
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Pronouns Pronouns (he, she, it, you, they, this, that, and others) are another way to connect ideas as you develop a paper. Using pronouns to take the place of other words or
ideas can help you avoid needless repetition. (Be sure, though, to use pronouns with
care in order to avoid the unclear or inconsistent pronoun references described in
Chapters 25 and 26 of this book.) Underline the eight pronouns in the passage that
follows, noting at the same time the words that the pronouns refer to.
in Menlo Park, New Jersey. This new business yielded such extraordinary inventions as the phonograph, a new telephone transmitting device, and of course the incandescent lightbulb. By the time the United States entered World War I (1917), Edison had become a very wealthy man, having patented, manufactured, and marketed inventions affecting every sector of American business, from the fi lm industry to cement manufacturing.
A professor of nutrition at a major university recently advised his students that they could do better on their examinations by eating lots of sweets. He told them that the sugar in cakes and candy would stimulate their brains to work more effi ciently, and that if the sugar was eaten for only a month or two, it would not do them any harm.
Synonyms Using synonyms—words that are alike in meaning—can also help move the reader from one thought to the next. In addition, the use of synonyms increases variety
and interest by avoiding needless repetition of the same words. Underline the three
words used as synonyms for false ideas in the following passage.
There are many false ideas about suicide. One wrong idea is that a person who talks about suicide never follows through. The truth is that about three out of every four people who commit suicide speak of it to one or more other persons ahead of time. Another misconception is that a person who commits suicide is poor or downtrodden. Actually, poverty appears to be a deterrent to suicide rather than a predisposing factor. A third myth about suicide is that people considering suicide will eventually take their lives one way or another, whether or not the most obvious means of suicide is removed from their reach. In fact, to those attempting suicide as a kind of cry for help, removing a convenient means of taking one’s life, such as a gun, shows that someone cares and is paying attention.
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100 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Read the selection below, and then answer the questions about it that follow.
Health Inspection Report: Main Street Grill
The following is a summary of the May 2013 report that recommends the Main Street Grill be closed immediately:
1The entry of the restaurant is in dire need of repair. 2Several windows have large cracks, and none have screens. 3The front steps are missing a handrail, and one stair tread has a large hole in its middle. 4The front door does not close properly, allowing fl ies freedom to enter the establishment. 5Immediately inside the entryway, sections of broken fl ooring have been temporarily covered with loose boards. 6Many of them show signs of wood rot and decay. 7The interior of the restaurant does not appear to have been cleaned in several years and is extremely dirty. 8Layers of dust and grease were visible on the lighting fi xtures and appliances. 9The fl oor, where it wasn’t broken, was a dingy gray that was slippery and dangerous. 10The kitchen contains several non- working pieces of equipment. 11Fifteen extension cords were being used to connect appliances to one outlet. 12Foods were not being stored at the proper temperatures. 13Tests showed meats at 105 degrees Fahrenheit and milk at 52 degrees Fahrenheit. 14Proper restaurant and employee health standards were not being upheld during the inspection. 15Workers were not wearing hairnets, nor did any of them wash their hands while the inspection was happening. 16This is the third time that Main Street Grill has failed a health inspection; no improvements have been made since the last visit. 17The restaurant must be closed immediately.
QUESTIONS
1. How many times is the word restaurant used?
2. Write here the pronoun that is used to refer to stair tread (sentence 3):
; boards (sentence 6): ; fl oor (sentence 9):
3. Write here the word that is used as a synonym for dirty (sentence 9):
the words that are used as a synonym for appliances (sentence 10):
the word that is used as a synonym for employees (sentence 15):
ACTIVITY 3
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Complete the following statements.
1. Time order means
2. Emphatic order means
3. are signal words that help readers follow the
direction of a writer’s thought.
4. In addition to transitions, three other kinds of connecting words
that help link sentences and ideas are repeated words, ,
and .
Practice in Organizing and Connecting Specifi c Evidence You now know the third step in effective writing: organizing and connecting the
specifi c evidence used to support the main point of a paper. This closing section
will expand and strengthen your understanding of the third step in writing.
You will work through the following series of activities:
• Organizing through Time Order
• Organizing through Emphatic Order
• Organizing through a Combination of Time Order and Emphatic Order
• Identifying Transitions
• Identifying Transitions and Other Connecting Words
Organizing through Time Order Use time order to organize the scrambled list of sentences below. Write the number
1 beside the point that all the other sentences support. Then number each support-
ing sentence as it occurs in time.
Once a working thesis has been created, the student should continue re-
searching by taking notes, with a more focused attention to the informa-
tion that supports the working thesis.
Writing a research paper should be done as a process.
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102 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Once a subject is chosen, the student should then narrow it to a limited
research topic that the instructor approves.
A proven method of note-taking, for example an online source like Noo-
dle Tools or a low-tech approach like index cards, should be employed.
The student should next edit the fi nal, revised version of the paper. Dur-
ing this stage, the student should double-check that the bibliographic
entries on his or her “Works Cited” list correspond to the cited material
in the essay.
Once the majority of the research has been gathered and noted, the stu-
dent should then start outlining his or her paper. The instructor may re-
quire a long, formal outline, but a scratch outline will do at this stage.
First, a student should choose a broad subject that is interesting, unless
the instructor assigns a subject.
The next step the student should take is preliminary research to make
sure that the topic can be researched easily via the college library and/or
reputable electronic sources.
After the rough draft has been completed, the student should plan to
revise his or her draft as many times as needed. The student should not
panic if he or she realizes that more information is needed, thus leading
to more research. This is not unusual.
After the preliminary research is completed, the next step is homing in
on exactly what the student wants to prove or say about the topic and
using this idea to create a working thesis.
Finally, the student should proofread the edited copy as carefully as
possible.
The outline should then serve as a guide for the student to begin draft-
ing his or her paper, citing and identifying research sources as they are
incorporated into the paper.
Organizing through Emphatic Order Use emphatic order (order of importance) to arrange the following scrambled list
of sentences. Write the number 1 beside the point that all the other sentences sup-
port. Then number each supporting sentence, starting with what seems to be the
least important detail and ending with the most important detail.
The people here are all around my age and seem to be genuinely friendly
and interested in me.
The place where I live has several important advantages.
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The schools in this neighborhood have a good reputation, so I feel that
my daughter is getting a good education.
The best thing of all about this area, though, is the school system.
Therefore, I don’t have to put up with public transportation or worry
about how much it’s going to cost to park each day.
The school also has an extended after-school program, so I know my
daughter is in good hands until I come home from work.
First of all, I like the people who live in the other apartments near mine.
Another positive aspect of this area is that it’s close to where I work.
That’s more than I can say for the last place I lived, where people stayed
behind locked doors.
The offi ce where I’m a receptionist is only a six-block walk from my
house.
In addition, I save a lot of wear and tear on my car.
Organizing through a Combination of Time Order and Emphatic Order Use a combination of time and emphatic order to arrange the scrambled list of sen-
tences below. Write the number 1 beside the point that all the other sentences sup-
port. Then number each supporting sentence. Paying close attention to transitional
words and phrases will help you organize and connect the supporting sentences.
I did not see the spider but visited my friend in the hospital, where he
suffered through a week of nausea and dizziness because of the poison.
We were listening to the radio when we discovered that nature was
calling.
As I got back into the car, I sensed, rather than felt or saw, a presence on
my left hand.
After these two experiences, I suspect that my fear of spiders will be
with me until I die.
The fi rst experience was the time when my best friend received a bite
from a black widow spider.
I looked down at my hand, but I could not see anything because it was
so dark.
I had two experiences when I was sixteen that are the cause of my
arachnophobia, a terrible and uncontrollable fear of spiders.
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104 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
We stopped the car at the side of the road, walked into the woods a few
feet, and watered the leaves.
My friend then entered the car, putting on the dashboard light, and I
almost passed out with horror.
I saw the bandage on his hand and the puffy swelling when the bandage
was removed.
Then it fl ew off my hand and into the dark bushes nearby.
I sat in the car for an hour afterward, shaking and sweating and
constantly rubbing the fi ngers of my hand to reassure myself that
the spider was no longer there.
But my more dramatic experience with spiders happened one evening
when another friend and I were driving around in his car.
Almost completely covering my fi ngers was a monstrous brown spider,
with white stripes running down each of a seemingly endless number of
long, furry legs.
Most of all, I saw the ugly red scab on his hand and the yellow pus that
continued oozing from under the scab for several weeks.
I imagined my entire hand soon disappearing as the behemoth relent-
lessly devoured it.
At the same time, I cried out “Arghh!” and fl icked my hand violently
back and forth to shake off the spider.
For a long, horrible second it clung stickily, as if intertwined for good
among the fi ngers of my hand.
Identifying Transitions Fill in each blank with the appropriate addition transition from the following list.
Use each transition once.
also second for one thing last of all
Why School May Frighten a Young Child
School may be frightening to young children for a number of
reasons. , the regimented environment may be a new and disturbing experience. At home, children may have been able to do what they wanted when they wanted to do it. In school, however, they
continued
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Fill in each blank with the appropriate time transition from the list that follows.
Use each transition once.
then fi rst after as later
A Victory for Big Brother
In one of the most terrifying scenes in all of literature, George Orwell in his classic novel 1984 describes how a government known as Big Brother destroys a couple’s love. The couple, Winston and Julia, fall in love
and meet secretly, knowing the government would not approve. informers turn them in, a government agent named O’Brien takes steps
to end their love. he straps Winston down and explains that
he has discovered Winston’s worst fear. he sets a cage with two giant, starving sewer rats on the table next to Winston. He says that when he presses a lever, the door of the cage will slide up, and the rats
will shoot out like bullets and bore straight into Winston’s face. Winston’s eyes dart back and forth, revealing his terror, O’Brien places
are given set times for talking, working, playing, eating, and even using
the restroom. A source of anxiety may be the public method of discipline that some teachers use. Whereas at home children are scolded in private, in school they may be held up to embarrassment and ridicule in front of their peers. “Bonnie,” the teacher may say, “why are you the only one in class who didn’t do your homework?” Or, “David, why are you the only one who can’t work quietly at your seat?” Children
may be frightened by the loss of personal attention. Their little discomforts or mishaps, such as tripping on the stairs, may bring instant sympathy from a parent; in school, there is often no one to notice, or the teacher is frequently too busy to care and just says, “Go do
your work. You’ll be all right.” , a child may be scared by the competitive environment of the school. At home, one hopes, such competition for attention is minimal. But in school, children may vie for the teacher’s approving glance or tone, or for stars on a paper, or for favored seats in the front row. For these and other reasons, it is not surprising that children may have diffi culty adjusting to school.
continued
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106 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Fill in each blank with the appropriate addition or change-of-direction transitions
from the list that follows. Use each transition once.
fourth but yet another
for one thing second however last
his hand on the lever. Winston knows that the only way out is for Julia to take his place. Suddenly, he hears his own voice screaming, “Do it to Julia! Not me! Julia!” Orwell does not describe Julia’s interrogation, but
when Julia and Winston see each other , they realize that each has betrayed the other. Their love is gone. Big Brother has won.
ACTIVITY 9 Fill in each blank with the transition word or phrase from the list that follows. Use each transition once.
in summary in addition however specifi cally
The Aspen Venue
WB&E Engineering has designed an events center for the city of Greenville in order to provide a complex to better serve the needs of the community. The new center will work well for a group as small as twenty- fi ve or as large as three hundred. To blend in with the city’s historic roots,
it will be built in Georgian style, using hand-hewed brick from the Greenville Brick Company. The interior design will incorporate soaring twenty-foot ceilings, hardwood oak fl oors, crystal chandeliers, and stained-glass pieces from local artisans. The bathrooms have been specially fashioned to refl ect key periods in Greenville’s history. The two kitchens have been designed with the highest quality fi xtures and appliances. Each fl oor holds two large halls that can be combined to create one larger hall.
, all of the halls open up to heated balconies that offer expansive views of Greenville. The quality of construction will ensure that multiple functions can be hosted without crossover noise. The total events space in the building is six thousand square feet split among the three levels.
No extra parking will be provided with this venue; , city
parking will adequately accommodate the needed spaces. , this facility will service the city by offering a functional and fl exible space that will be both beautiful and practical.
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Avoidance Tactics
Getting down to studying for an exam or writing a paper is hard, and so it is tempting for students to use one of the following fi ve avoidance
tactics in order to put the work aside. , students may say to themselves, “I can’t do it.” They adopt a defeatist attitude at the start and give up without a struggle. They could get help with their work by using such college services as tutoring programs and skill labs,
they refuse even to try. A avoidance technique is to say, “I’m too busy.” Students may take on an extra job, become heavily involved in social activities, or allow family problems to become so time-consuming that they cannot concentrate on their studies.
if college really matters to a student, he or she will make
sure that there is enough time to do the required work. avoidance technique is expressed by the phrase “I’m too tired.” Typically, sleepiness occurs when it is time to study or go to class and then vanishes when the pressure of school is off. This sleepiness is a sign of work
avoidance. A excuse is to say, “I’ll do it later.” Putting things off until the last minute is practically a guarantee of poor grades on tests and papers. When everything else—watching TV, calling a friend, or even cleaning the oven—seems more urgent than studying, a student
may simply be escaping academic work. , some students avoid work by saying to themselves, “I’m here and that’s what counts.” Some students live under the dangerous delusion that, since they possess a college ID, a parking sticker, and textbooks, the course work will somehow take care
of itself. once a student has a college ID, he or she has only just begun. Doing the necessary studying, writing, and reading will bring real results: good grades, genuine learning, and a sense of accomplishment.
Fill in each blank with the appropriate transition from the following list. Use each
transition once.
Addition transitions: fi rst of all, second, fi nally
Time transition: when
Illustration transition: once
Change-of-direction transition: however
Conclusion transition: as a result
ACTIVITY 11
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108 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Joining a Multicultural Club
One of the best things I’ve done in college is joining a multicultural club.
, the club has helped me become friendly with a diverse group of people. At any time in my apartment, I can have someone from Pakistan or Sweden chatting about music, or someone from Russia or
Uganda talking about politics. , I watched a Spanish student serve chocolate con churros to three students from China. They
had never tasted such a thing before, but they liked it. A benefi t of the club is that it’s helped me realize how similar people are.
the whole club fi rst assembled, we wound up having
a conversation about dating and sex that included the perspectives of people from fi fteen countries and six continents! It was clear we all shared the feeling that sex was fascinating. The talk lasted for hours, with many different people describing the wildest or funniest dating experience they had had. Only a few students, particularly those from the United States
and Japan, seemed bashful. , the club has reminded me about the dangers of stereotyping. Before I joined the club, my only direct experience with people from China was ordering meals in the local
Chinese restaurant. , I believed that most Chinese people
ate lots of rice and worked in restaurants. In the club, I met Chinese people who were soccer players, English majors, and math tutors. I’ve also seen Jewish and Muslim students—people who I thought would never get along—drop their preconceived notions and become friends. Even more than my classes, the club has been an educational experience for me.
Identifying Transitions and Other Connecting Words This activity will give you practice in identifying transitions and other connecting
words that are used to help tie ideas together.
Section A—Transitions Locate the transitional word in each sentence, and write it in the space provided.
1. I decided to pick up a drop-add form from the registrar’s offi ce. However, I
changed my mind when I saw the long line of students waiting there.
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2. In England, drivers use the left-hand side of the road. Consequently, in a car
the steering wheel is on the right side.
3. Crawling babies will often investigate new objects by putting them in their
mouths. Therefore, parents should be alert for any pins, tacks, or other danger-
ous items on fl oors and carpets.
4. One technique that advertisers use is to have a celebrity endorse a product. The
consumer then associates that product with the star qualities of the celebrity.
Section B—Repeated Words In the space provided, write the repeated words.
5. The tall ships moved majestically into the harbor. Along the docks were thou-
sands of people who had come to witness the harbor spectacle.
6. Many researchers believe that people have weight set-points their bodies
try to maintain. This may explain why many dieters return to their original
weight.
7. At the end of the concert, thousands of fans held up lighters in the darkened
stadium. The sea of lighters signaled that the fans wanted an encore.
8. Establishing credit is important for everyone. A good credit history is often
necessary when you are applying for a loan or credit card.
Section C—Synonyms In the space provided, write the synonym for the underlined word.
9. Entering the fi ve-thousand-year-old tomb, the archaeologists found that it had
been ransacked by thieves hundreds of years before. However, several of the
fi ne earthen jars had been left intact by the robbers.
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110 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
10. Women’s clothes, in general, use less material than men’s clothes. Yet wom-
en’s garments usually cost more than men’s.
11. The temperance movement in this country sought to ban alcohol. Drinking
liquor, movement leaders said, led to violence, poverty, prostitution, and
insanity.
12. For me, apathy quickly sets in when the weather becomes hot and sticky. This
listlessness disappears when the humidity decreases.
Section D—Pronouns In the space provided, write the word referred to by the underlined pronoun.
13. At the beginning of the twentieth century, bananas were still an oddity in the
United States. Some people even attempted to eat them with the skin on.
14. Canning vegetables is easy and economical. It can also be very dangerous.
15. Members of the United States Congress always seem to be campaigning. After
all, they have to stand for reelection every two years.
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This chapter will show you how to
• revise so that your sentences fl ow smoothly and clearly
• edit so that your sentences are error-free
The Fourth Step in Writing
C H A P T E R
HOW IMPORTANT IS FREEDOM OF SPEECH? Write a paragraph about your initial reaction to this photograph. The U.S. Constitution places very few restrictions on freedom of speech. What limits do you think should be placed on free expression? Why?
HHHOOOWWW IIIMMMPPPOOORRRTTTAAANNNTTT IIISSS FFFRRREEEEEEDDDOOOMMM OOOFFF SSSPPPEEEEEECCCHHH???
Step 4: Write Clear, Error-Free Sentences So far, this book has emphasized the fi rst three steps in writing an effective
paragraph: making a point (Chapter 3), supporting the point (Chapter 3), and
organizing and connecting the evidence (Chapter 4). This chapter focuses on the
fourth step: writing clear, error-free sentences. You’ll learn how to revise a para-
graph so that your sentences fl ow smoothly and clearly. Then you’ll review how to
edit a paragraph for mistakes in grammar, punctuation, and spelling.
Revising Sentences The following strategies will help you to revise your sentences effectively.
• Use parallelism.
• Use a consistent point of view.
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112 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
• Use specifi c words.
• Use concise wording.
• Vary your sentences.
Use Parallelism Words in a pair or a series should have a parallel structure. By balancing the items
in a pair or a series so that they have the same kind of structure, you will make a
sentence clearer and easier to read. Notice how the parallel sentences that follow
read more smoothly than the nonparallel ones.
Nonparallel (Not Balanced) Parallel (Balanced) I resolved to lose weight, to
study more, and watching less TV.
I resolved to lose weight, to study
more, and to watch less TV.
(A balanced series of to verbs: to lose, to study, to watch)
A consumer group rates my
car as noisy, expensive, and not having much safety.
A consumer group rates my car
as noisy, expensive, and unsafe.
(A balanced series of descriptive
words: noisy, expensive, unsafe)
Lola likes wearing soft sweaters,
eating exotic foods, and to bathe in scented bath oil.
Lola likes wearing soft sweaters,
eating exotic foods, and bathing in
scented bath oil.
(A balanced series of -ing words: wearing, eating, bathing)
Single life offers more free-
dom of choice; more security is offered by marriage.
Single life offers more freedom of
choice; marriage offers more security.
(Balanced verbs and word order: single life offers . . . ; marriage offers . . .)
You need not worry about balanced sentences when writing fi rst drafts. But when you rewrite, try to put matching words and ideas into matching structures. Such parallelism will improve your writing style.
TI P
Cross out and revise the unbalanced part of each of the following sentences.
example
When Gail doesn’t have class, she uses her time to clean house, getting her
laundry done, and to buy groceries.
1. Lola plans to become a model, a lawyer, or to go into nursing.
to get
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2. Filling out an income tax form is worse than wrestling a bear or to walk on
hot coals.
3. The study-skills course taught me how to take more effective notes, to read
a textbook chapter, and preparing for exams.
4. Home Depot has huge sections devoted to plumbing equipment, electrical
supplies, and tools needed for carpentry.
5. When visiting Chicago, make sure to visit its wonderful art museum, eat
some deep-dish pizza, and taking a stroll along the Lake Michigan shoreline.
6. Filled with talent and ambitious, Eduardo worked hard at his sales job.
7. Viewing the Grand Canyon for the fi rst time, we felt exeitement, peaceful,
and awed at the same time.
8. Cindy’s cat likes sleeping in the dryer, lying in the bathtub, and to chase
squirrels.
9. The weather was hot, there were crowds in the city, and the buses were
on strike.
10. People in the lobby munched popcorn, sipped sodas, and were shuffl ing
their feet impatiently.
Use a Consistent Point of View Consistency with Verbs Do not shift verb tenses unnecessarily. If you begin writing a paper in the pres-
ent tense, don’t shift suddenly to the past. If you begin in the past, don’t shift
without reason to the present. Notice the inconsistent verb tenses in the following
example:
Incorrect The shoplifter walked quickly toward the front of the store. When a clerk shouts at him, he started to run.
The verbs must be consistently in the present tense:
Correct The shoplifter walks quickly toward the front of the store. When a clerk shouts at him, he starts to run.
Or the verbs must be consistently in the past tense:
Correct The shoplifter walked quickly toward the front of the store. When a clerk shouted at him, he started to run.
^
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114 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
In each passage, one verb must be changed so that it agrees in tense with the
other verbs. Cross out the incorrect verb, and write the correct form above each
crossed-out verb.
example
Kareem wanted to be someplace else when the dentist carries in a long
needle.
1. I listened to music and surfed the Internet before I decide to do some
homework.
2. The hitchhiker stopped me as I walks from the turnpike rest station and said,
“Are you on your way to San Jose?”
3. During both World War I and World War II, Switzerland was neutral. There-
fore, some refugees from Nazi Germany escape to that country.
4. Molly’s grandfather was a college English professor. Only after he retires did
he learn to read Italian.
5. In the movie, artillery shells exploded on the hide of the reptile monster. The
creature just grinned, tosses off the shells, and kept eating people.
6. Several months a year, monarch butterfl ies come to live in a spot along the
California coast. Thousands and thousands of them hang from the trees and
fl uttered through the air in large groups.
7. After waking up each morning, Harry stays in bed for a while. First he
stretches and yawned loudly, and then he plans his day.
8. The salespeople at Biggs’s Department Store are very helpful. When people
asked for a product the store doesn’t carry or is out of, the salesperson recom-
mends another store.
9. The American Revolution began in 1775, when the British fi re upon Ameri-
cans at Lexington and Concord, Massachusetts. However, trouble had been
brewing since Britain imposed new taxes on the colonies in 1766.
10. Smashed cars, ambulances, and police cars blocked traffi c on one side of the
highway. On the other side, traffi c slows down as drivers looked to see what
had happened.
Consistency with Pronouns Pronouns should not shift point of view unnecessarily. When writing a paper, be
consistent in your use of fi rst-, second-, or third-person pronouns.
carr ied
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Inconsistent Consistent I enjoy movies like The Return of the Vampire that frighten you. (A very common mistake people
make is to let you slip into their writing after they start with
another pronoun.)
I enjoy movies like The Return of the Vampire that frighten me.
As soon as a tourist enters Arlington
National Cemetery, where many of
America’s military heroes are bur-
ied, you begin to realize how costly the price of liberty is.
As soon as a tourist enters Arlington
National Cemetery, where many of
America’s military heroes are buried,
he or she begins to realize how costly the price of liberty is.
(Again, you is a shift in point of view.)
(See also the coverage of his or her references on pages 417–418.)
Type of Pronoun Singular Plural First-person pronouns I (my, mine, me) we (our, us)
Second-person pronouns you (your) you (your)
Third-person pronouns he (his, him) they (their, them)
she (her)
it (its)
Any person, place, or thing, as well as any indefi nite pronoun like one, anyone, someone, and so on, is a third-person word. If you start writing in the third person she, don’t jump suddenly to the second person you. Or if you are writing in the fi rst person I, don’t shift unexpectedly to one. Look at the examples that follow.
TI P
Cross out inconsistent pronouns in the following sentences, and write the correct
form of the pronoun above each crossed-out word. You may have to change the
form of the verb as well.
example
My dreams are always the kind that haunt you the next day.
1. Whenever we take our children on a trip, you have to remember to bring
snacks, tissues, and toys.
me
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116 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
2. In our society, we often need a diploma before you can be hired for a job.
3. This summer, I worked for the city sanitation department, a job in which
you learn a lot about people’s consumption habits.
4. If a student organizes time carefully, you can accomplish a great deal of work.
5. Although I know you should watch your cholesterol intake, I can never resist
an ear of corn dripping with melted butter.
6. Good conversationalists have the ability to make the person they were talking
to feel as if they are the only other person in the room.
7. We never go to the Salad Bowl anymore, because you wait so long to be
seated and the waiters usually make mistakes with the order.
8. I read over my notes before class because one can never tell when there will
be a quiz.
9. Our time was limited, so we decided not to go to the Gettysburg National Mili-
tary Park because you would need to spend an entire day for a worthwhile visit.
10. In my job as store manager, I’m supposed to be nice to the customer even if
they are being totally unreasonable.
Use Specifi c Words To be an effective writer, you must use specifi c words rather than general words.
Specifi c words create pictures in the reader’s mind. They help capture interest and
make your meaning clear. Compare the following general and specifi c sentences:
General Specifi c The boy came down the street. Theo ran down Woodlawn Avenue.
A bird appeared on the grass. A blue jay swooped down onto the
frost-covered lawn.
She stopped the car. Jackie slammed on the brakes of her
Hummer.
The specifi c sentences create clear pictures in our minds. The details show us exactly what has happened.
Here are four ways to make your sentences specifi c.
1. Use exact names.
She loves her car. Renée loves her Honda.
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2. Use lively verbs.
The garbage truck went down Front Street. The garbage truck rumbled down Front Street.
3. Use descriptive words (modifi ers) before nouns.
A girl peeked out the window.
A chubby six-year-old girl peeked out the dirty kitchen window.
4. Use words that relate to the fi ve senses: sight, sound, taste, smell, and
touch.
That woman is a karate expert.
That tiny, silver-haired woman is a karate expert. (sight)
When the dryer stopped, a signal sounded.
When the dryer stopped, a loud buzzer sounded. (sound)
Lola offered me an orange slice.
Lola offered me a sweet, juicy orange slice. (taste)
The real estate agent opened the door of the closet.
The real estate agent opened the door of the cedar-scented closet. (smell)
I pulled the blanket around me to fi ght off the wind.
I pulled the fl uffy blanket around me to fi ght off the chilling wind. (touch)
This activity will give you practice in replacing vague, indefi nite words with
sharp, specifi c words. Add three or more specifi c words to replace the general
word or words underlined in each sentence. Make changes in the wording of a
sentence as necessary.
example
My bathroom cabinet contains many drugs.
1. My Netfl ix queue is long and has many items.
2. At Worlds of Fun, I went on a lot of rides.
My bathroom cabinet contains aspirin, antibiot ics, tranquilizers, and codeine
cough medicine.
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118 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
3. Saturday is my day to run errands.
4. The room was a mess.
5. Recently we visited several museums.
Again, you will practice changing vague, indefi nite writing into lively, image-fi lled
writing that helps capture the reader’s interest and makes your meaning clear. With
the help of the methods described on pages 52–60 and 74–85, add specifi c details
to the sentences that follow. Note the examples.
example
The person got out of the car.
The fans enjoyed the victory.
1. The college offers a variety of intramural sports.
2. The animal ran away.
3. An accident occurred.
Th e elderly man painfully lift ed himself out of the wh ite Buick
station wagon.
Many of the fi ft y thousand fans stood, waved banners, and cheered wildly wh en Barnes
scored the winning touchdown.
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4. The instructor came into the room.
5. Luis is interested in electronic gadgets.
Use Concise Wording Wordiness—using more words than necessary to express a meaning—is often a sign of lazy or careless writing. Your readers may resent the extra time and energy
they must spend when you have not done the work needed to make your writing
direct and concise.
Here are examples of wordy sentences:
Anne is of the opinion that the death penalty
should be allowed.
The country of Colombia has as its capital
the city known as Bogotá.
Omitting needless words improves the sentences:
Anne supports the death penalty.
The capital of Colombia is Bogotá.
The following box lists some wordy expressions
that could be reduced to single words. Kate Taylor/www.CartoonStock.com
Wordy Form Short Form a large number of many
a period of a week a week
arrive at an agreement agree
at an earlier point in time before
at the present time now
continued
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120 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Wordy Form Short Form big in size big
owing to the fact that because
during the time that while
fi ve in number fi ve
for the reason that because
good benefi t benefi t
in every instance always
in my own opinion I think
in the event that if
in the near future soon
in this day and age today
is able to can
large in size large
plan ahead for the future plan
postponed until later postponed
red in color red
return back return
Rewrite the following sentences, omitting needless words.
1. The headquarters of the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, which collects
information important to maintaining the security and safety of the entire
nation, is located in Langley, Virginia, a suburb just outside of the nation’s
capital, which is Washington, D.C.
2. The agency that is known as the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency grew out
of what was called the Offi ce of Strategic Services, an organization founded
in the year 1942 to gather strategic information important and useful in fi ght-
ing the Second World War.
3. The president of the United States of America during 1947, Harry S. Truman,
was the president who signed the act known as the National Security Act,
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which specifi cally called out and created the U.S. Central Intelligence
Agency by name.
4. The act that gave the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency its name and purpose
also created a position known as the Director of Central Intelligence who
acted as the main person who advised the president of the United States on
matters that involved or related to security affecting the nation.
5. In the year 2004, the 108th Congress, which includes both the Senate and the
House of Representatives, passed an act called the Intelligence Reform and
Terrorism Prevention Act of 2004 that amended the National Security Act
to create a Director of National Intelligence who took over the presidential
advisor position formerly held by the Director of Central Intelligence.
Vary Your Sentences One aspect of effective writing is to vary your sentences. If every sentence follows
the same pattern, writing may become monotonous. This chapter explains four
ways you can create variety and interest in your writing style. The fi rst two ways
involve coordination and subordination—important techniques for achieving dif-
ferent kinds of emphasis.
The following are four methods you can use to make your sentences more
varied and more sophisticated:
• Add a second complete thought (coordination).
• Add a dependent thought (subordination).
• Begin with a special opening word or phrase.
• Place adjectives or verbs in a series.
Revise by Adding a Second Complete Th ought (Coordination) When you add a second complete thought to a simple sentence, the result is a com- pound (or double) sentence. The two complete statements in a compound sentence are usually connected by a comma plus a joining, or coordinating, word (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet).
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Use a compound sentence when you want to give equal weight to two closely
related ideas. The technique of showing that ideas have equal importance is called
coordination. Following are some compound sentences. Each contains two ideas that the writer regards as equal in importance.
The Roman Colosseum was the site where gladiatorial contests once took
place, but it is now a major tourist attraction.
I repeatedly failed the math quizzes, so I decided to drop the course.
Darrell turned all the lights off, and then he locked the offi ce door.
Combine the following pairs of simple sentences into compound sentences. Use a
comma and a logical joining word (and, but, for, so, yet) to connect each pair.
example
• The cars crept along slowly.
• Visibility was poor in the heavy fog.
1. • The Vikings sailed as far west as North America.
• They built cities as far east as Russia.
2. • George Washington did not have an extensive military education.
• When he became general of the Continental Army, he got some
on-the-job training.
3. • The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem is an important religious site for Jews.
• It is visited by people of all faiths.
Th e cars crept along slowly, for visibility was poor in the heavy fog.
If you are not sure what and, but, for, and so mean, see pages 384–385.
HI NT
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4. • Mold grew on my leather boots.
• The closet was warm and humid.
5. • My father has a high cholesterol count.
• He continues to eat red meat almost every day.
Revise by Adding a Dependent Th ought (Subordination) When you add a dependent thought to a simple sentence, the result is a complex
sentence.* A dependent thought begins with a word or phrase such as one of the
following.
*The two parts of a complex sentence are sometimes called an independent clause and a dependent clause. A clause is simply a word group that contains a subject and a verb. An independent clause expresses a complete thought and
can stand alone. A dependent clause does not express a complete thought in itself and “depends on” the independent
clause to complete its meaning. Dependent clauses always begin with a dependent, or subordinating, word.
Dependent Words after if, even if when, whenever
although, though in order that where, wherever
as since whether
because that, so that which, whichever
before unless while
even though until who, whoever
how what, whatever whose
A complex sentence is used to emphasize one idea over another. Look at the following complex sentence:
Although I lowered the thermostat, my heating bill remained high.
The idea that the writer wants to emphasize here—my heating bill remained high— is expressed as a complete thought. The less important idea—Although I lowered my thermostat—is subordinated to this complete thought. The technique of giving one idea less emphasis than another is called subordination.
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124 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Following are other examples of complex sentences. In each case, the part
starting with the dependent word is the less emphasized part of the sentence.
Even though I was tired, I stayed up to watch the horror movie.
Before I take a bath, I check for spiders in the tub.
When Vera feels nervous, she pulls on her earlobe.
Use logical subordinating words to combine the following pairs of simple sen-
tences into sentences that contain a dependent thought. Place a comma after a
dependent statement when it starts the sentence.
example
Drew Carey is the host of The Price is Right.
He wrote and acted in The Drew Carey Show.
1. Ronald Reagan started his career as a radio announcer.
He ended it by holding the highest offi ce in the land.
2. Hugh Jackman became famous as Wolverine of the X-Men movies.
He once made a living as Coco the Clown, performing at children’s parties.
3. Michael Bloomberg is the 108th mayor of New York City and a very wealthy man.
He was once a parking lot attendant.
4. Barack Obama was an Illinois senator.
He became the 44th president in 2009.
Before Drew Carey bec ame the host of Th e Price is Right, he wrot e and acted in
Th e Drew Carey Show.
ACTIVITY 8
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5. Alan Rickman starred as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter fi lms.
A new generation of fans was introduced to this well-respected actor.
Revise by Beginning with a Special Opening Word or Phrase Among the special openers that can be used to start sentences are (1) -ed words, (2) -ing words, (3) -ly words, (4) to word groups, and (5) prepositional phrases. Here are examples of all fi ve kinds of openers:
-ed word Tired from a long day of work, Sharon fell asleep on the sofa.
-ing word Using a thick towel, Mel dried his hair quickly.
-ly word Reluctantly, I agreed to rewrite the paper.
to word group To get to the church on time, you must leave now.
prepositional phrase With Fred’s help, Martha planted the evergreen shrubs.
Combine each pair of simple sentences into one sentence by using the opener
shown at the left and omitting repeated words. Use a comma to set off the opener
from the rest of the sentence.
example -ing word • The toaster refused to pop up. • It buzzed like an angry hornet.
1. • In 1980, the U.S. Olympic hockey team was determined to take the gold
medal.
• It beat the Soviet team, which was rated the world’s fi nest.
Buzzing like an angry hornet , the toaster refused to pop up.
-ed word
ACTIVITY 9
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126 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
2. • The star player glided down the court.
• He dribbled the basketball like a pro.
3. • No pedestrians were hurt when a large chunk of ice fell from the roof of
the building.
• That was lucky.
4. • The little boy likes to annoy his parents.
• He pretends not to hear them.
5. • People must wear rubber-soled shoes.
• They must do this in the gym.
Revise by Placing Adjectives or Verbs in a Series Various parts of a sentence may be placed in a series. Among these parts are adjec-
tives (descriptive words) and verbs. Here are examples of both in a series.
Adjectives The black, smeary newsprint rubbed off on my new butcher-block table.
Verbs The quarterback fumbled the ball, recovered it, and sighed with relief.
-ing word
-ly word
to word group
prepositional phrase
In each group, combine the simple sentences into one sentence by using adjectives
or verbs in a series and by omitting repeated words. In most cases, use a comma
between the adjectives or verbs in a series.
example
• Before Christmas, I made fruitcakes.
• I decorated the house.
• I wrapped dozens of toys.
ACTIVITY 10
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1. • The latte was steaming.
• The latte was hot.
• The latte was foamy.
• The latte burned the roof of my mouth.
2. • The fi rst Starbucks coffee shop opened in 1971.
• The coffee shop was located in Seattle.
• The coffee shop sold roasted beans.
• The coffee shop did not brew or serve coffee.
3. • George Washington Carver was born into slavery.
• He became an inventor.
• He became an agricultural chemist.
• He became an expert on successful farming practices.
4. • Alexander Hamilton was a soldier.
• He fought in the American Revolutionary War.
• He was a Founding Father.
• He was the fi rst Secretary of the Treasury of the United States.
5. • Al Capone was a gangster.
• He lived in Chicago.
• He made money by running gambling rackets.
• He made money by running bootlegging rackets.
• He played an infamous role in the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.
Before Christ mas, I made fr uitcakes , dec orated the house, and wrapp ed
dozens of toy s.
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128 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Editing Sentences After revising sentences in a paragraph so that they fl ow smoothly and clearly,
you need to edit the paragraph for mistakes in grammar, punctuation, mechanics,
usage, and spelling. Even if a paragraph is otherwise well written, it will make an
unfavorable impression on readers if it contains such mistakes. To edit a paragraph,
check it against the agreed-upon rules or conventions of written English—simply
called sentence skills in this book. Here are the most common of these conventions:
✓ Write complete sentences rather than fragments.
✓ Do not write run-ons.
✓ Use verb forms correctly.
✓ Make sure that subject, verbs, and pronouns agree.
✓ Eliminate faulty modifi ers.
✓ Use pronoun forms correctly.
✓ Use capital letters where needed.
✓ Use the following marks of punctuation correctly: apostrophe, quotation marks, comma, semicolon, colon, hyphen, dash, parentheses.
✓ Use correct manuscript form.
✓ Eliminate slang, clichés, and pretentious words.
✓ Check for possible spelling errors.
✓ Eliminate careless errors.
These sentence skills are treated in detail in Part 4 of this book, and they can
be referred to easily as needed. Both the list of sentence skills on the inside back
cover and the correction symbols on page 542 include page references so that you
can turn quickly to any skill you want to check.
Tips for Editing Here are four tips that can help you edit the next-to-fi nal draft of a paragraph for
sentence-skills mistakes:
1. Have at hand two essential tools: a good dictionary (see page 490) and a gram-
mar handbook (you can use the one in this book on pages 357–542).
2. Use a sheet of paper to cover your paragraph so that you will expose only
one sentence at a time. Look for errors in grammar, spelling, and typing.
It may help to read each sentence out loud. If a sentence does not read
clearly and smoothly, chances are something is wrong.
3. Pay special attention to the kinds of errors you tend to make. For example, if
you tend to write run-ons or fragments, be on the lookout for those errors.
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4. Try to work on a printed draft, where you’ll be able to see your writing more
objectively than you can on a handwritten page or computer screen; use a pen
with colored ink so that your corrections will stand out.
A Note on Proofreading Proofreading means checking the fi nal, edited draft of your paragraph closely for typos and other careless errors. An effective strategy is to read your paper back-
ward, from the last sentence to the fi rst. This helps keep you from getting caught
up in the fl ow of the paper and missing small mistakes. Here are six useful proofi ng
symbols.
Proofing Symbol Meaning Example insert missing beleve
letter or word
omit in the the meantime
reverse order of
words or letters once a upon time
add space alltogether
close up space foot ball
add a capital
(or a lowercase) letter My persian Cat
^
cap, lc
i ^
^
cap lc
If you have to make a lot of corrections, type in the corrections and reprint the page.
In the spaces below this paragraph, write the numbers of the ten word groups that
contain fragments or run-ons. Then, in the spaces between the lines, edit by making
the necessary corrections. One is done for you as an example.
ACTIVITY 11
1Two groups of researchers have concluded that “getting cold” has
little to do with “catching a cold.” 2When the experiment was done for the
fi rst time. 3Researchers exposed more than four hundred people to the cold
continued
, r
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130 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
virus, 4Then divided those people into three groups. 5One group, wearing
winter coats, sat around in ten-degree temperature. the second group was
placed in sixty-degree temperature, 6With the third group staying in a
room, 7Where it was eighty degrees. 8The number of people who actually
caught colds was the same, 9In each group. 10Other researchers repeated
this experiment ten years later. 11This time they kept some subjects cozy
and warm they submerged others in a tank fi lled with water, 12Whose
temperature had been lowered to seventy-fi ve degrees. 13They made
others sit around in their underwear in forty-degree temperature. 14The
results were the same, the subjects got sick at the same rate. 15Proving that
people who get cold do not always get colds.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
2
A series of editing tests appears on pages 528–541. You will probably fi nd it most helpful to take these tests after reviewing the sentence-skills handbook in Part 4.HI
NT
Practice in Revising Sentences You now know the fourth step in effective writing: revising and editing sentences.
You also know that practice in editing sentences is best undertaken after you have worked through the sentence skills in Part 4. The focus in this closing section, then,
will be on revising your work—using a variety of methods to ensure that your sen- tences fl ow smoothly and are clear and interesting. You will work through review
tests that cover the following topics:
• Using parallelism
• Using a consistent point of view
• Using specifi c words
• Using concise wording
• Varying your sentences
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Using Parallelism
REVIEW TEST 1
Cross out the unbalanced part of each sentence. In the space provided, revise the
unbalanced part so that it matches the other item or items in the sentence. One is
done for you as an example.
example
The professor warned his students that he would give surprise tests, the
assignment of term papers, and allow no makeup exams.
1 . As the elderly woman climbed the long staircase, she breathed hard and was
grabbing the railing tightly.
2. Making a big dinner is a lot more fun than to clean up after it.
3. Many people want a career that pays high wages, provides a complete
benefi ts package, and offering opportunities for promotion.
4. Many of today’s action movies have attractive actors, fantastic special
effects, and dialogue that is ridiculous.
5. The neighborhood group asked the town council to repair the potholes and
that a traffi c signal be installed.
6. Pesky mosquitoes, humidity that is high, and sweltering heat make summer
unpleasant in Louisiana.
7. Penicillin, the fi rst wonder drug, has many uses: to treat syphilis, to fi ght
bacterial infections in wounds, and even curing eye and ear infections.
8. The state of Georgia offers a varied landscape with the Blue Ridge
Mountains in the north and the Okefenokee Swamp is found in the south.
ass ign term papers
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132 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
9. The old historic house had a broken garage door, shutters that were peeling,
and a crumbling chimney.
10. In the early nineteenth century, Newburyport, Massachusetts, was a ship-
building center, a trade and commerce port, and a city where there were
many fi ne ship captains’ homes.
Using a Consistent Point of View
REVIEW TEST 2
In the following passage, change verbs as needed so that they are consistently in
the past tense. Cross out each incorrect verb and write the correct form above it, as
shown in the example. You will need to make nine corrections.
Late one rainy night, Mei Ling woke to the sound of steady dripping.
When she got out of bed to investigate, a drop of cold water splashes
onto her arm. She looks up just in time to see another drop form on the
ceiling, hang suspended for a moment, and fall to the carpet. Stumbling
to the kitchen, Mei Ling reaches deep into one of the cabinets and lifts
out a large roasting pan. As she did so, pot lids and baking tins clattered
out and crash onto the counter. Mei Ling ignored them, stumbled back
to the bedroom, and places the pan on the fl oor under the drip. But a
minute after sliding her icy feet under the covers, Mei Ling realized she
is in trouble. The sound of each drop hitting the metal pan echoed like a
gunshot in the quiet room. Mei Ling feels like crying, but she fi nally thought
of a solution. She got out of bed and returns a minute later with a thick
bath towel. She lined the pan with the towel and crawls back into bed.
splashed
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REVIEW TEST 3
REVIEW TEST 4
Cross out the inconsistent pronouns in the following sentences and revise by writ-
ing the correct form of the pronoun above each crossed-out word.
example
Melissa saved her money so you could take a dream vacation.
1. She booked her trip through a company called Insight Vacations because the
tour itinerary piqued your interest.
2. While traveling through England, Melissa asked her tour guide if you would
be able to see the Tower of London from her hotel room.
3. The RHS Chelsea Flower Show was the fi rst activity you participated in after
everyone got settled into the hotel.
4. When it was time to head to Paris, the tour guide reminded Melissa that you
would need to be at the train station at 7:00 a.m.
5. The guide told the tour group members they should visit the Louvre Museum in
Paris because she could get an education in art just by looking at the paintings.
6. Melissa’s favorite part of the Louvre was the “From Palace to Museum”
visitor trail that took you more than three hours to complete.
7. After experiencing Paris, Melissa was looking forward to the next part of our
trip, which was a train ride to Rome.
8. Melissa begged the tour guide to immediately take them and the other group
members to the Vatican.
9. As she stood looking at the Vatican, Melissa exclaimed, “This is the most
beautiful building you have ever seen!”
10. Melissa spent her fi nal day in Rome eating gelato by the Trevi Fountain and
planning the next vacation you could dream about.
Using Specifi c Words
she
Revise the following sentences, replacing vague, indefi nite words with sharp, spe-
cifi c ones.
1. The refrigerator was well stocked with food.
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134 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
2. Lin brought lots of reading materials to keep her busy in the hospital waiting room.
3. To do well in school, a student needs certain qualities.
4. The table at the wedding reception was full of a variety of appetizers.
5. As I grew older and less stupid, I realized that money cannot buy certain things.
REVIEW TEST 5
With the help of the methods described on pages 116–117 and summarized below,
add specifi c details to the sentences that follow.
1. Use exact names.
2. Use lively verbs.
3. Use descriptive words (modifi ers) before nouns.
4. Use words that relate to the senses—sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch.
1. The movie was good.
2. My exam was hard.
3. His professor is strange.
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4. The building is unique.
5. The city was crowded.
Using Concise Wording
REVIEW TEST 6
Rewrite the following sentences, omitting needless words.
1. There was this one girl in my class who rarely, if ever, did her homework.
2. Judging by the looks of things, it seems to me that it will probably rain very
soon.
3. Seeing as how the refrigerator is empty of food, I will go to the supermarket
in the very near future.
4. In this day and age it is almost a certainty that someone you know will be an
innocent victim of criminal activity.
5. In my personal opinion it is correct to say that the spring season is the most
beautiful period of time in the year.
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136 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
REVIEW TEST 7
REVIEW TEST 8
Rewrite the following sentences, omitting needless words.
1. Workers who are employed on a part-time basis are attractive to a business
because they do not have to be paid as much as full-time workers for a business.
2. During the time that I was sick and out of school, I missed a total of three
math tests.
3. The game, which was scheduled for later today, has been canceled by the
offi cials because of the rainy weather.
4. At this point in time, I am quite undecided and unsure about just which
classes I will take during this coming semester.
5. An inconsiderate person located in the apartment next to mine keeps her
radio on too loud a good deal of the time, with the result being that it is
disturbing to everyone in the neighboring apartments.
Varying Your Sentences
Using coordination, subordination, or both, combine each of the following groups
of simple sentences into one longer sentence. Omit repeated words. Various com-
binations are possible, so for each group, try to fi nd the combination that fl ows
most smoothly and clearly.
1. • My grandmother is eighty-six.
• She drives to Florida alone every year.
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• She believes in being self-reliant.
2. • Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Baptist minister.
• He led the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.
• He helped create this organization in 1957.
3. • The United States Constitution was adopted in 1787.
• The Declaration of Independence was written in 1776.
• Both documents were approved at meetings in Philadelphia.
4. • A volcano erupts.
• It sends tons of ash into the air.
• This creates fl aming orange sunsets.
5. • A telephone rings late at night.
• We answer it fearfully.
• It could bring tragic news.
REVIEW TEST 9
Using coordination, subordination, or both, combine each of the following groups
of simple sentences into two longer sentences. Omit repeated words. Various com-
binations are possible, so for each group, try to fi nd the combination that fl ows
most smoothly and clearly.
1. • Wendy pretended not to overhear her coworkers.
• She couldn’t stop listening.
• She felt deeply embarrassed.
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138 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
• They were criticizing her work.
2. • Tony got home from the shopping mall.
• He discovered that his rented tuxedo did not fi t.
• The jacket sleeves covered his hands.
• The pants cuffs hung over his shoes.
3. • The boys waited for the bus.
• The wind shook the fl imsy shelter.
• They shivered with cold.
• They were wearing thin jackets.
4. • The First Amendment to the United States Constitution guarantees
freedom of religion.
• It also guarantees freedom of assembly.
• Other rights it guarantees are freedom of speech and freedom of the press.
5. • Gary was leaving the store.
• The shoplifting alarm went off.
• He had not stolen anything.
• The clerk had forgotten to remove the magnetic tag.
• The tag was on a shirt Gary had bought.
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REVIEW TEST 10
PART A Combine the simple sentences into one sentence by using the opener shown in the
margin and omitting repeated words. Use a comma to set off the opener from the
rest of the sentence.
1. • We were exhausted from four hours of hiking.
• We decided to stop for the day.
2. • Gus was staring out the window.
• He didn’t hear the instructor call on him.
3. • The surgeon closed the incision of the patient on whom she had just
operated.
• She was careful when she did this.
4. • Steve traveled to Cairo, Egypt.
• He wanted to see the Great Pyramid.
5. • Joanne goes online to e-mail her friends.
• She does this during her lunch breaks.
PART B Combine the simple sentences in each group into one sentence by using adjectives
or verbs in a series and by omitting repeated words. In most cases, use a comma
between the adjectives or verbs in a series.
6. • The photographer waved a teddy bear at the baby.
• He made a funny face.
-ed word
-ing word
-ly word
to word group
prepositional phrase
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140 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
• He quacked like a duck.
7. • The bucket held a bunch of daisies.
• The bucket was shiny.
• The bucket was aluminum.
• The daisies were fresh.
• The daisies were white.
8. • Amy poured herself a cup of coffee.
• She pulled her hair back into a ponytail.
• She opened her textbook.
• She sat down at her desk.
• She fell asleep.
9. • The box in the dresser drawer was stuffed with letters.
• The box was cardboard.
• The dresser drawer was locked.
• The letters were faded.
• The letters were about love.
10. • The speaker was eloquent.
• The speaker was learned.
• He moved to the podium.
• The podium was on the stage of the auditorium.
• The auditorium was crowded.
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This chapter will show you how to evaluate a paragraph for
• unity
• support
• coherence
• sentence skills
Four Bases for Revising Writing
C H A P T E R
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO ACCEPT ADVICE? Very often, our own interests and goals are different from those our friends and family want for us. Write a paragraph about a time you “did your own thing” instead of following the advice of someone close to you. Why did you make the decision you did? How did the other person react? Looking back, do you still feel you made the right decision?
This chapter discusses the four bases—unity, support, coherence, and
sentence skills—and shows how these four bases can be used to evaluate
and revise a paragraph. The box on the next page, originally presented
in Chapter 2, is helpful in illustrating how you can use the four bases to
evaluate your writing and make decisions about revising.
HHHOOOWWW DDDOOO YYYOOOUUU KKKNNNOOOWWW WWWHHHEEENNN TTTOOO AAACCCCCCEEEPPPTTT AAADDDVVVIIICCCEEE???
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142 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Four Steps 1. If you make one point and
stick to that point,
2. If you back up the point
with specifi c evidence,
3. If you organize and connect
the specifi c evidence,
4. If you write clear, error-free
sentences,
Four Bases your writing will have unity.
your writing will have support.
your writing will have coherence.
your writing will demonstrate
effective sentence skills.
Base 1: Unity Understanding Unity The following two paragraphs were written by students on the topic “Why Students
Drop Out of College.” Read them and decide which one makes its point more
clearly and effectively, and why.
PARAGRAPH A
Why Students Drop Out
Students drop out of college for many reasons. First of all, some students are bored in school. These students may enter college expecting nonstop fun or a series of fascinating courses. When they fi nd out that college is often routine, they quickly lose interest. They do not want to take dull required courses or spend their nights studying, so they drop out. Students also drop out of college because the work is harder than they thought it would be. These students may have made decent grades in high school simply by showing up for class. In college, however, they may have to prepare for two-hour exams, write fi fteen-page term papers, or make detailed presentations to a class. The hard work comes as a shock, and students give up. Perhaps the most common reason students drop out is that they are having personal or emotional problems. Younger students, especially, may be attending college at an age when they are
continued
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PARAGRAPH B
also feeling confused, lonely, or depressed. These students may have problems with roommates, family, boyfriends, or girlfriends. They become too unhappy to deal with both hard academic work and emotional troubles. For many types of students, dropping out seems to be the only solution they can imagine.
Student Dropouts
There are three main reasons students drop out of college. Some students, for one thing, are not really sure they want to be in school and lack the desire to do the work. When exams come up, or when a course requires a diffi cult project or term paper, these students will not do the required studying or research. Eventually, they may drop out because their grades are so poor they are about to fl unk out anyway. Such students sometimes come back to school later with a completely different attitude about school. Other students drop out for fi nancial reasons. The pressures of paying tuition, buying textbooks, and possibly having to support themselves can be overwhelming. These students can often be helped by the school because fi nancial aid is available, and some schools offer work-study programs. Finally, students drop out because they have personal problems. They cannot concentrate on their courses because they are unhappy at home, they are lonely, or they are having trouble with boyfriends or girlfriends. Instructors should suggest that such troubled students see counselors or join support groups. If instructors would take a more personal interest in their students, more students would make it through troubled times.
Fill in the blanks: Paragraph makes its point more clearly and effectively
because
Paragraph A is more effective because it is unifi ed. All the details in paragraph A are on target; they support and develop the single point expressed in the fi rst sentence—that students drop out of college for many reasons.
ACTIVITY 1
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144 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
On the other hand, paragraph B contains some details irrelevant to the open-
ing point—that there are three main reasons students drop out. These details
should be omitted in the interest of paragraph unity. Go back to paragraph B and
cross out the sections that are off target—the sections that do not support the
opening idea.
You should have crossed out the following sections: “Such students sometimes . . .
attitude about school”; “These students can often . . . work-study programs”; and
“Instructors should suggest . . . through troubled times.”
The difference between these two paragraphs leads us to the fi rst base, or stan-
dard, of effective writing: unity. To achieve unity is to have all the details in your paragraph related to the single point expressed in the topic sentence, the fi rst sen-
tence. Each time you think of something to put in, ask yourself whether it relates to
your main point. If it does not, leave it out. For example, if you were writing about
a certain job as the worst job you ever had and then spent a couple of sentences
talking about the interesting people you met there on that job, you would be miss-
ing the fi rst and most essential base of good writing.
Checking for Unity To check a paragraph for unity, ask yourself these questions:
1. Is there a clear opening statement of the point of the paragraph?
2. Is all the material on target in support of the opening point?
Base 2: Support Understanding Support The following student paragraphs were written on the topic “An Important Book.”
Both are unifi ed, but one communicates more clearly and effectively. Which one,
and why?
PARAGRAPH A
Controversial Adventures
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain has been causing controversy since it was written. When fi rst printed in 1885, Twain’s book was considered as nothing more than garbage with absolutely no moral
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Fill in the blanks: Paragraph makes its point more clearly and effectively
because
Paragraph A is more effective, for it offers specifi c examples that explain the
controversial history that the novel has experienced.
Paragraph B, on the other hand, gives no specifi c evidence. The writer makes
several statements about possible reasons that the novel has been controversial, but
or literary value. In fact, the Concord Public Library refused to shelve the book after the library committee met and agreed that “it contain[ed] but little humor . . . of a very coarse type . . . being more suited to the slums than to intelligent, respectable people.” Later, many claimed that the book glamorized juvenile delinquency. Huckleberry Finn is a runaway who engages in many questionable activities while harboring a fugitive. Since the 1960s, however, it is the language in Huckleberry Finn that has caused the most offense. In fact, in 2011, Publisher’s Weekly released a story about a new edition that eliminated the offending language in order to create a “more politically correct” version. Regardless of the controversy, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn will continue to be read by future generations.
PARAGRAPH B
Controversial Adventures
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain has been causing controversy since it was fi rst written. In fact, since its publication, Twain’s book has never been without controversy and detractors. When fi rst printed in 1885, the book was considered as nothing more than garbage with absolutely no moral or literary value. In the 1900s, many claimed that the book glamorized juvenile delinquency and this caused a great deal of concern. Since the 1960s, however, most people have been offended by the use of language in Huckleberry Finn. Regardless of the controversy, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn will continue to be read by future generations.
ACTIVITY 2
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146 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
doesn’t support those statements with evidence. Why was it considered garbage?
How did it glamorize juvenile delinquency? Why is the language offensive? We
are interested about the novel’s history, but without the specifi c details, we cannot
understand it.
Consideration of these two paragraphs leads us to the second base of effec-
tive writing: support. After realizing the importance of specifi c supporting details, one student writer revised a paragraph she had done on a restaurant job as the worst
job she ever had. In the revised paragraph, instead of talking about “unsanitary
conditions in the kitchen,” she referred to such specifi cs as “green mold on the
bacon” and “ants in the potato salad.” All your paragraphs should include many
vivid details!
Checking for Support To check a paragraph for support, ask yourself these questions:
1. Is there specifi c evidence to support the opening point?
2. Is there enough specifi c evidence?
Base 3: Coherence Understanding Coherence The following two paragraphs were written on the topic “The Best or Worst Job
You Ever Had.” Both are unifi ed and both are supported. However, one communi-
cates more clearly and effectively. Which one, and why?
PARAGRAPH A
Pantry Helper
My worst job was as a pantry helper in one of San Diego’s well- known restaurants. I had an assistant from three to six in the afternoon who did little but stand around and eat the whole time she was there. She would listen for the sound of the back door opening, which was a sure sign the boss was coming in. The boss would testily say to me, “You’ve got a lot of things to do here, Alice. Try to get a move on.” I would come in at two o’clock to relieve the woman on the morning shift. If her day was busy, that meant I would have to prepare salads,
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slice meat and cheese, and so on. Orders for sandwiches and cold platters would come in and have to be prepared. The worst thing about the job was that the heat in the kitchen, combined with my nerves, would give me an upset stomach by seven o’clock almost every night. I might be going to the storeroom to get some supplies, and one of the waitresses would tell me she wanted a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich on white toast. I would put the toast in and head for the supply room, and a waitress would holler out that her customer was in a hurry. Green fl ies would come in through the torn screen in the kitchen window and sting me. I was getting paid only $7.05 an hour. At fi ve o’clock, when the dinner rush began, I would be dead tired. Roaches scurried in all directions whenever I moved a box or picked up a head of lettuce to cut.
PARAGRAPH B
My Worst Job
The worst job I ever had was as a waiter at the Westside Inn. First of all, many of the people I waited on were rude. When a baked potato was hard inside or a salad was fl at or their steak wasn’t just the way they wanted it, they blamed me, rather than the kitchen. Or they would ask me to light their cigarettes, or chase fl ies from their tables, or even take their children to the bathroom. Also, I had to contend not only with the customers but with the kitchen staff as well. The cooks and busboys were often undependable and surly. If I didn’t treat them just right, I would wind up having to apologize to customers because their meals came late or their water glasses weren’t fi lled. Another reason I didn’t like the job was that I was always moving. Because of the constant line at the door, as soon as one group left, another would take its place. I usually had only a twenty-minute lunch break and a ten-minute break in almost nine hours of work. I think I could have put up with the job if I had been able to pause and rest more often. The last and most important reason I hated the job was my boss. She played favorites, giving some of the waiters and waitresses the best-tipping repeat customers and preferences on holidays. She would hover around during my break to make sure I didn’t take a second more than the allotted time. And even when I helped out by working through a break, she never had an appreciative word but would just tell me not to be late for work the next day.
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148 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Fill in the blanks: Paragraph makes its point more clearly and effectively
because
Paragraph B is more effective because the material is organized clearly and
logically. Using emphatic order, the writer gives us a list of four reasons why the
job was so bad: rude customers, an unreliable kitchen staff, constant motion, and—
most of all—an unfair boss. Further, the writer includes transitional words that
act as signposts, making movement from one idea to the next easy to follow. The
major transitions are First of all, Also, Another reason, and The last and most im- portant reason.
While paragraph A is unifi ed and supported, the writer does not have any clear
and consistent way of organizing the material. Partly, emphatic order is used, but
this is not made clear by transitions or by saving the most important reason for
last. Partly, time order is used, but it moves inconsistently from two to seven to
fi ve o’clock.
These two paragraphs lead us to the third base of effective writing: coherence. The supporting ideas and sentences in a composition must be organized so that
they cohere, or “stick together.” As has already been mentioned, key techniques
for tying material together are a clear method of organization (such as time order
or emphatic order), transitions, and other connecting words.
ACTIVITY 3
Checking for Coherence To check a paragraph for coherence, ask yourself these questions:
1. Does the paragraph have a clear method of organization?
2. Are transitions and other connecting words used to tie the material
together?
Base 4: Sentence Skills Understanding Sentence Skills Two versions of a paragraph follow. Both are unifi ed, supported, and orga-
nized, but one version communicates more clearly and effectively. Which one,
and why?
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PARAGRAPH A
Social Not-Working
1The workplace environment is being affected by social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. 2First, most people don’t consider it a negative habit to check Twitter during the work day, but it is actually stealing. 3People who constantly check Twitter when they should be working are stealing time from the company. 4If, for example, Sam gets paid ten dollars an hour and he spends one hour a week looking at Twitter, he is being paid for one hour that he is not working. 5In other words, he is stealing ten dollars a week from the company. 6Over the course of a year, that could add up to more than fi ve hundred dollars. 7Second, people who use company computers to check Pinterest during the workday are misusing company equipment. 8Although it might seem harmless, this use of company equipment is no different from driving a company car or using company furniture for personal reasons; maintenance, service, and upgrades cost and must be budgeted. 9Taking a company car on a personal trip or borrowing company furniture to decorate a house are forbidden; most companies don’t allow personal use of company computers either. 10In addition, many company computers contain private and sensitive material that could be compromised if an employee is on a social networking site. 11Finally, people who check Facebook during work hours can lose focus on their work, causing delays and poor performance. 12Something exciting or disturbing that is posted could have an impact on the employee, and his or her ability to work could be affected. 13Although people like to stay connected with each other during the day, company employees need to limit their use of social networking sites to private equipment during lunch hours, breaks, or non- working hours.
PARAGRAPH B
“Social Not-Working”
1The workplace environment is being affected by social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. 2First, most people doesn’t consider it a negative habit to check Twitter during the workday, but it is actually stealing. 3People who constantly check Twitter when they should be working are stealing time from the company. 4If, for example, Sam gets paid ten dollars an hour and he spends one hour a week looking
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150 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
at Twitter he is being paid for one hour that he is not working. 5In other words, stealing ten dollars a week from the company. 6Over the course of a year, that could add up to more than fi ve hundred dollars. 7Second, people who be using company computers to check Pinterest during the workday are misusing company equipment. 8Although it might seem harmless, this use of company equipment is no different from to drive a company car or using company furniture for personal reasons; maintenance, service, and upgrades cost and must be budgeted. 9Taking a company car on a personal trip or borrowing company furniture to decorate a house are forbidden; most companies dont allow personal use of company computers either. 10In addition, many company computers contain private and sensitive material that could be compromised if an employee is on a social networking site. 11Finally, people who check Facebook during work hours can zone out, causing delays and poor performance. 12Something exciting or disturbing that is posted could have an impact on the employee, his or her ability to work could be affected. 13Although people like to stay connected with each other during the day, company employees need to limit their use of social networking sites to private equipment during lunch hours, breaks, or non-working hours.
Fill in the blanks: Paragraph makes its point more clearly and effectively
because
Paragraph A is more effective because it incorporates sentence skills, the fourth base of competent writing.
ACTIVITY 4
See if you can identify the ten sentence-skills mistakes in paragraph B. Do this,
fi rst of all, by going back and underlining the ten spots in paragraph B that differ
in wording or punctuation from paragraph A. Then identify the ten sentence-skills
mistakes by circling what you feel is the correct answer in each of the following
ten statements.
ACTIVITY 5
Comparing paragraph B with the correct version may help you guess correct answers even if you are not familiar with the names of certain skills.HI
NT
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1. The title should not be set off with
a. capital letters.
b. quotation marks.
2. In word group 2, there is a
a. mistake in parallelism.
b. dangling modifi er.
c. mistake in subject-verb agreement.
d. sentence fragment.
3. In word group 4, there is a
a. missing comma.
b. sentence fragment.
c. mistake in subject-verb agreement.
d. mistake involving an irregular
verb.
4. In word group 5, there is a
a. missing comma.
b. missing apostrophe.
c. sentence fragment.
d. dangling modifi er.
5. In word group 7, there is a
a. nonstandard English verb.
b. run-on.
c. comma mistake.
d. missing capital letter.
6. In word group 8, there is a
a. misplaced modifi er.
b. dangling modifi er.
c. mistake in parallelism.
d. run-on.
7. In word group 9, there is a
a. missing apostrophe.
b. missing quotation mark.
c. mistake involving an irregular
verb.
d. missing capital latter.
8. In word group 11, there is a
a. mistake involving an irregular
verb.
b. sentence fragment.
c. mistake in subject-verb
agreement.
d. slang phrase.
9. In word group 12, there is a
a. sentence fragment.
b. run-on.
c. missing apostrophe.
d. dangling modifi er.
10. In word group 13, there is a
a. mistake in parallelism.
b. mistake involving an irregular
verb.
c. sentence fragment.
d. missing capital letter.
You should have chosen the following answers:
1. b 2. c 3. a 4. c 5. a
6. c 7. a 8. d 9. b 10. d
Part 4 of this book explains these and other sentence skills. You should review all
the skills carefully. Doing so will ensure that you know the most important rules of
grammar, punctuation, and usage—rules needed to write clear, error-free sentences.
Checking for Sentence Skills Sentence skills and the other bases of effective writing are summarized in the fol-
lowing chart and on the inside back cover of the book.
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152 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
A Summary of the Four Bases of Effective Writing
• Fragments eliminated? (page 367)
• Run-ons eliminated? (381)
• Correct verb forms? (402)
• Subject and verb agreement? (410)
• Faulty modifi ers eliminated? (433)
• Faulty pronouns eliminated? (416; 422)
• Capital letters used correctly? (447)
• Punctuation marks where needed?
a. Apostrophes (460)
b. Quotation marks (468)
c. Commas (476)
d. Semicolons; colons (485)
e. Hyphens; dashes (485)
f. Parentheses (485)
• Correct paper format? (442)
• Needless words eliminated? (119; 521)
• Effective word choices? (521)
• Possible spelling errors checked? (499)
• Careless errors eliminated through proofreading? (129)
• Sentences varied? (121)
2 Support
• Specifi c evidence?
• Plenty of it? 1 Unity
• Clear opening
statement of the
point of your
paragraph?
• All material on
target in support
of opening point?
3 Coherence
• Clear method of
organization?
• Transitions and
other connective
devices?
4 Sentence
Skills
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Practice in Using the Four Bases You are now familiar with four bases, or standards, of effective writing: unity, support,
coherence, and sentence skills. In this closing section, you will expand and strengthen
your understanding of the four bases as you work through the following activities:
1. Evaluating Scratch Outlines for Unity
2. Evaluating Paragraphs for Unity
3. Evaluating Paragraphs for Support
4. Evaluating Paragraphs for Coherence
5. Revising Paragraphs for Coherence
6. Evaluating Paragraphs for All Four Bases: Unity, Support, Coherence, and
Sentence Skills
1 Evaluating Scratch Outlines for Unity The best time to check a paragraph for unity is at the outline stage. A scratch outline, as
explained on page 25, is one of the best techniques for getting started with a paragraph.
Look at the following scratch outline that one student prepared and then cor-
rected for unity.
I had a depress ing weekend.
1. Hay fever bot hered me
2. Had to pay seventy-seven-dollar car bill
3. Felt bad
4. Boy fr iend and I had a fi ght
5. Did poorly in my math tes t today as a res ult
6. My mot her yelled at me unfairly
Four reasons support the opening statement that the writer was depressed over the
weekend. The writer crossed out “Felt bad” because it was not a reason for her
depression. (Saying that she felt bad is only another way of saying that she was
depressed.) She also crossed out the item about the math test because the point she
is supporting is that she was depressed over the weekend.
In each outline, cross out the items that do not support the opening point. These
items must be omitted in order to achieve paragraph unity.
1. In 1699, the Pennsylvania Religious Society of Friends argued against the evil
of slavery.
a. Pennsylvania is named after William Penn.
ACTIVITY 6
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154 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
b. They argued that taking someone’s freedom is the same as taking his or her life.
c. The wealth that comes from slavery is the product of violence.
d. The Civil War ended slavery in the United States.
e. The Society of Friends denied the claim that the Bible allowed slavery.
2. The twentieth century achieved much toward the control of infectious diseases.
a. Penicillin and other antibacterial medicines were discovered.
b. Sanitary sewer systems were built in many cities.
c. School lunch programs offered low-cost meals to students.
d. Many communities developed water purifi cation systems.
e. More was learned about psychological diseases.
3. There are several ways to get better mileage in your car.
a. Check air pressure in tires regularly.
b. Drive at no more than fi fty-fi ve miles per hour.
c. Orange and yellow cars are the most visible.
d. Avoid jackrabbit starts at stop signs and traffi c lights.
e. Always have duplicate ignition and trunk keys.
4. My swimming instructor helped me overcome my terror of the water.
a. He talked with me about my fears.
b. I was never good at sports.
c. He showed me how to hold my head under water and not panic.
d. I held on to a fl oating board until I was confi dent enough to give it up.
e. My instructor was on the swimming team at his college.
5. Fred Wilkes is the best candidate for state governor.
a. He has fi fteen years’ experience in the state senate.
b. His son is a professional football player.
c. He has helped stop air and water pollution in the state.
d. His opponent has been divorced.
e. He has brought new industries and jobs to the state.
2 Evaluating Paragraphs for Unity Each of the following fi ve paragraphs contains sentences that are off target—
sentences that do not support the opening point—and so the paragraphs are not
unifi ed. In the interest of paragraph unity, such sentences must be omitted.
Cross out the irrelevant sentences and write the numbers of those sentences in
the spaces provided. The number of spaces will tell you the number of irrelevant
sentences in each paragraph.
ACTIVITY 7
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1.
A Kindergarten Failure
1In kindergarten I experienced the fear of failure that haunts many schoolchildren. 2My moment of panic occurred on my last day in kindergarten at Charles Foos Public School in Riverside, California. 3My family lived in California for three years before we moved to Omaha, Nebraska, where my father was a personnel manager for Mutual of Omaha. 4Our teacher began reading a list of names of all those students who were to line up at the door in order to visit the fi rst-grade classroom. 5Our teacher was a pleasant-faced woman who had resumed her career after raising her own children. 6She called off every name but mine, and I was left sitting alone in the class while everyone else left, the teacher included. 7I sat there in absolute horror. 8I imagined that I was the fi rst kid in human history who had fl unked things like crayons, sandbox, and sliding board. 9Without getting the teacher’s permission, I got up and walked to the bathroom and threw up into a sink. 10Only when I ran home in tears to my mother did I get an explanation of what had happened. 11Since I was to go to a parochial school in the fall, I had not been taken with the other children to meet the fi rst-grade teacher at the public school. 12My moment of terror and shame had been only a misunderstanding.
How to Prevent Cheating
1Instructors should take steps to prevent students from cheating on exams. 2To begin with, instructors should stop reusing old tests. 3A test that has been used even once is soon known on the student grapevine. 4Students will check with their friends to fi nd out, for example, what was on Dr. Thompson’s biology fi nal last term. 5They may even manage to fi nd a copy of the test itself, “accidentally” not turned in by a former student of Dr. Thompson’s. 6Instructors should also take some commonsense precautions at test time. 7They should make students separate themselves—by at least one seat—during an exam, and they should watch the class closely. 8The best place for the instructor to sit is in the rear of the room, so that a student is never sure if the instructor is looking at him or her. 9Last of all, instructors must make it clear to students that there will be stiff penalties for cheating. 10One of the problems with our school systems is a lack of discipline. 11Instructors never used to give in to students’ demands or put up with bad behavior, as they do today. 12Anyone caught cheating should immediately receive a zero for the exam. 13A person even suspected of cheating should be forced to take an alternative exam in the instructor’s offi ce. 14Because cheating is unfair to honest students, it should not be tolerated.
The numbers of the irrelevant sentences:
2.
The numbers of the irrelevant sentences:
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156 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
3.
Other Uses for Cars
1Many people who own a car manage to turn the vehicle into a trash can, a clothes closet, or a storage room. 2People who use their cars as trash cans are easily recognized. 3Empty snack bags, hamburger wrappers, pizza cartons, soda cans, and doughnut boxes litter the fl oor. 4On the seats are old scratched CDs, blackened fruit skins, crumpled receipts, crushed cigarette packs, and used tissues. 5At least the trash stays in the car, instead of adding to the litter on our highways. 6Other people use a car as a clothes closet. 7The car contains several pairs of shoes, pants, or shorts, along with a suit or dress that’s been hanging on the car’s clothes hanger for over a year. 8Sweaty, smelly gym clothes will also fi nd a place in the car, a fact passengers quickly discover. 9The world would be better off if people showed more consideration of others. 10Finally, some people use a car as a spare garage or basement. 11In the backseats or trunks of these cars are bags of fertilizer, beach chairs, old textbooks, chainsaws, or window screens that have been there for months. 12The trunk may also contain an extra spare tire, a dented hubcap, a gallon container of window washer fl uid, and old stereo equipment. 13If apartments offered more storage space, probably fewer people would resort to using their cars for such storage purposes. 14All in all, people get a lot more use out of their cars than simply the miles they travel on the road.
Why Adults Visit Amusement Parks
1Adults visit amusement parks for several reasons. 2For one thing, an amusement park is a place where it is acceptable to “pig out” on junk food. 3At the park, everyone is drinking soda and eating popcorn, ice cream, or hot dogs. 4No one seems to be on a diet, and so buying all the junk food one can eat is a guilt-free experience. 5Parks should provide stands where healthier food, such as salads or cold chicken, would be sold. 6Another reason people visit amusement parks is to prove themselves. 7They want to visit the park that has the newest, scariest ride in order to say that they went on the Parachute Drop, the seven-story Elevator, the Water Chute, or the Death Slide. 8Going on a scary ride is a way to feel courageous and adventurous without taking much of a risk. 9Some rides, however, can be dangerous. 10Rides that are not properly inspected or maintained have killed people all over the country. 11A fi nal reason people visit amusement parks is to escape from everyday pressures. 12When people are poised at the top of a gigantic roller coaster, they are not thinking of bills, work, or personal problems. 13A scary ride empties the mind of all worries—except making it to the bottom alive. 14Adults at an amusement park may claim they have come for their children, but they are there for themselves as well.
The numbers of the irrelevant sentences:
4.
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The numbers of the irrelevant sentences:
5.
American Technology
1America has provided the world with a fl ood of technology that has improved human life. 2This is especially true for the twentieth century. 3For example, the American industrialist Henry Ford set up an automobile assembly line, which made it possible to mass-produce automobiles that used interchangeable parts. 4As a result, Ford was able to manufacture cars that everyday Americans could afford. 5The Ford Motor Company is still in existence, selling cars all over the world. 6The fi rst successful fl ying machine was built by the Wright brothers who, in 1903, were able to keep their experimental plane fl ying for twelve seconds at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. 7Today, the Boeing Company of Seattle, Washington, is one of the leading builders of jetliners in the world. 8The transistor, which replaced vacuum tubes in radios and televisions and which led to the development of the personal computer, was developed by two American companies: Bell Labs and Texas Instruments. 9A transistor is a device used to increase the power of electronic signals or for switching signals. 10In 1942, Enrico Fermi, who had immigrated to America, and Leo Szilard worked on the Manhattan Project, which built the fi rst atomic reactor. 11Eventually, this led to the development of the atomic bomb, which was dropped on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945. 12With the dawning of the atomic age, it was possible to make use of nuclear power for many peaceful purposes, such as the generation of electricity and the development of devices and treatments used in nuclear medicine. 13In the 1930s, a German, Konrad Zuse, invented the fi rst programmable computer. 14The computer we know today was largely the product of the work of scientists at several American companies and universities, including IBM, Remington Rand, and Harvard University.
The numbers of the irrelevant sentences:
3 Evaluating Paragraphs for Support The fi ve paragraphs that follow lack suffi cient supporting details. In each para-
graph, identify the spot or spots where more specifi c details are needed.
1.
Chicken: Our Best Friend
1Chicken is the best-selling meat today for a number of good reasons. 2First of all, its reasonable cost puts it within everyone’s reach. 3Chicken is popular, too, because it can be prepared in so many different ways.
ACTIVITY 8
ns.
continued
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158 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Fill in the blanks: The fi rst spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence number . The second spot occurs after sentence number .
2.
4It can, for example, be cooked by itself, in spaghetti sauce, or with noodles and gravy. 5It can be baked, boiled, broiled, or fried. 6Chicken is also convenient. 7Last and most important, chicken has a high nutritional value. 8Four ounces of chicken contain twenty-eight grams of protein, which is almost half the recommended daily dietary allowance.
A Car Accident
1I was on my way home from work when my terrible car accident took place. 2As I drove my car around the curve of the expressway exit, I saw a number of cars ahead of me. 3They were backed up because of a red light at the main road. 4I slowly came to a stop behind a dozen or more cars. 5In my rearview mirror, I then noticed a car coming up behind me that did not slow down or stop. 6I had a horrible, helpless feeling as I realized the car would hit me. 7I knew there was nothing I could do to signal the driver in time, nor was there any way I could get away from the car. 8Minutes after the collision, I picked up my glasses, which were on the seat beside me. 9My lip was bleeding, and I got out a tissue to wipe it. 10The police arrived quickly, along with an ambulance for the driver of the car that hit me. 11My car was so damaged that it had to be towed away. 12Today, eight years after the accident, I still relive the details of the experience whenever a car gets too close behind me.
Tips on Bringing Up Children
1In some ways, children should be treated as mature people. 2For one thing, adults should not use baby talk with children. 3Using real words with children helps them develop language skills more quickly. 4Baby talk makes children feel patronized, frustrated, and confused, for they want to understand and communicate with adults by learning their speech. 5So animals should be called cows and dogs, not “moo-moos” and “bow- wows.” 6Second, parents should be consistent when disciplining children. 7For example, if a parent tells a child, “You cannot have dessert unless you put away your toys,” it is important that the parent follow through on the warning. 8By being consistent, parents will teach children responsibility
Fill in the blank: The point where details are needed occurs after sentence number .
3.
continued
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4.
and give them a stable center around which to grow. 9Finally, and most important, children should be allowed and encouraged to make simple decisions. 10Parents will thus be helping their children prepare for the complex decisions that they will have to deal with in later life.
Being on TV
1People act a little strangely when a television camera comes their way. 2Some people behave as if a crazy puppeteer were pulling their strings. 3Their arms jerk wildly about, and they begin jumping up and down for no apparent reason. 4Often they accompany their body movements with loud screams, squeals, and yelps. 5Another group of people engage in an activity known as the cover-up. 6They will be calmly watching a sports game or other televised event when they realize the camera is focused on them. 7The camera operator can’t resist zooming in for a close-up of these people. 8Then there are those who practice their funny faces on the unsuspecting public. 9They take advantage of the television time to show off their talents, hoping to get that big break that will carry them to stardom. 10Finally, there are those who pretend they are above reacting for the camera. 11They wipe an expression from their faces and appear to be interested in something else. 12Yet if the camera stays on them long enough, they will slyly check to see if they are still being watched. 13Everybody’s behavior seems to be slightly strange in front of a TV camera.
Culture Confl ict
1I am in a constant tug-of-war with my parents over confl icts between their Vietnamese culture and American culture. 2To begin with, my parents do not like me to have American friends. 3They think that I should spend all my time with other Vietnamese people and speak English only when necessary. 4I get into an argument whenever I want to go to a fast-food restaurant or a movie at night with my American friends. 5The confl ict with my parents is even worse when it comes to plans for a career. 6My parents want me to get a degree in science and then go on to medical school. 7On the other hand, I think I want to become a teacher. 8So far I have
Fill in the blanks: The fi rst spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence number . The second spot occurs after sentence number .
5.
continued
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160 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Fill in the blanks: The fi rst spot where supporting details are needed occurs after sentence number . The second spot occurs after sentence number .
The third spot occurs after sentence number .
4 Evaluating Paragraphs for Coherence Answer the questions about coherence that follow each of the two paragraphs
below.
1.
ACTIVITY 9
been taking both science and education courses, but soon I will have to concentrate on one or the other. 9The other night my father made his attitude about what I should do very clear. 10The most diffi cult aspect of our cultural differences is the way our family is structured. 11My father is the center of our family, and he expects that I will always listen to him. 12Although I am twenty-one years old, I still have a nightly curfew at an hour which I consider insulting. 13Also, I am expected to help my mother perform certain household chores that I’ve really come to hate. 14My father expects me to live at home until I am married to a Vietnamese man. 15When that happens, he assumes I will obey my husband just as I obey him. 16I do not want to be a bad daughter, but I want to live like my American female friends.
Grant Proposal
1The Longview Preschool, a non-profi t preschool in Longview, Washington, is seeking a grant of $129,334 to improve our services. 2Our school currently services 279 at-risk students from the lowest socio- economic group in the area, and we have 36 full-time teachers. 3Our objective is that by the end of the year, at least two-thirds of our 55 pre-K students will demonstrate kindergarten preparedness. 4This would be an increase of 22 percent from our previous year. 5Most important, to better implement curriculum and prepare our students, we plan to increase our hours for pre-K students to fi ve days a week, and four-year-old students to four days a week. 6Our tuition is currently $255 per month for three days a week. 7However, as 95 percent of our students already receive government assistance, increasing costs to the families is not feasible. 8The remaining portion of our grant request will cover the costs of increased teacher pay, student tuition, and facility overhead. 9The total amount required to cover these costs would be $126,225, an increase of $1530 per pre-K student and $765 per four-year-old student per year. 10Our second goal is to improve the curriculum used within the classroom. 11We plan to move from our current curriculum to the award-winning The Creative Curriculum. 12Preschool students who have been taught by teachers using this program have consistently demonstrated a higher level of kindergarten preparedness;
continued
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a. The paragraph should use emphatic order. Write 1 before the goal that
seems slightly less important than the other two goals, 2 before the second
most important goal, and 3 before the most important goal.
Lengthened school week
Teacher licensing and preparation
New curriculum
b. Before which of the three goals should the transitional words One important goal be added?
c. Before which of the three goals could the transition words In addition be added?
d. Which words show emphasis in sentence 5?
e. What is a synonym for the word feasible in sentence 7?
2.
after researching numerous programs, we believe this program is the best fi t for our school. 13This award-winning curriculum will cost $2,149. 14As part of meeting this objective, we will be increasing the number of staff who hold Child Development Associate (CDA) licenses. 15The cost of preparation and licensing will be $960. 16Currently, 14 of our 36 staff hold CDA licenses through the Council for Professional Recognition. 17Our intention is to increase that number to 30. 18The funding from the grant will cover class and materials costs, as well as license fees. 19Better prepared teachers, stronger curriculum, and increased instructional time will ensure that Longview Preschool meets the needs of the community.
Apartment Hunting
1Apartment hunting is a several-step process that all potential renters should follow. 2They should visit and carefully inspect the most promising apartments. 3They should check each place for signs of unwanted guests such as roaches or mice. 4Making sure that light switches and appliances work and that there are enough electrical outlets are also important steps. 5Turning faucets on and off and fl ushing the toilet will help potential renters to be sure that the plumbing works smoothly. 6Talking to the landlord for a bit can help develop a feeling for the kind of person he or she is. 7If a problem develops after renters have moved in, they will want to know that a decent and capable person is there to handle the matter. 8People should fi nd out what’s available that matches their interests. 9The town newspaper and local real estate offi ces can provide lists of apartments for rent. 10Family and friends may be able to give leads. 11And local schools
continued
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162 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
a. The paragraph should use time order. Write 1 before the step that should
come fi rst, 2 before the intermediate step, and 3 before the fi nal step.
Visit and carefully inspect the most promising apartments.
Decide what one needs.
Find out what is available that matches interests.
b. Before which of the three steps could the transitional words The fi rst step is to be added?
c. Before which step could the transitional words After a person has decided what he or she is looking for, the next step is to be added?
d. Before which step could the transitional words The fi nal step be added?
e. To whom does the pronoun he or she in sentence 6 refer?
f. What is a synonym for landlord in sentence 7?
g. What is a synonym for apartment in sentence 13?
5 Revising Paragraphs for Coherence The two paragraphs in this section begin with a clear point, but in each case the
supporting material that follows the point is not coherent. Read each paragraph and
the comments that follow it on how to organize and connect the supporting mate-
rial. Then do the activity for the paragraph.
PARAGRAPH 1
may have a housing offi ce that keeps a list of approved apartments for rent. 12Potential renters should decide what they need in an apartment. 13If they can afford no more than four hundred dollars a month, they need to fi nd a place that will cost no more than that. 14If location near work or school is important, these factors should be considered. 15For those who plan to cook, a place with a workable kitchen is important. 16By taking these steps, anyone should be ready to select the apartment that is best for him or her.
A Diffi cult Period
Since I arrived in the Bay Area in midsummer, I have had the most diffi cult period of my life. I had to look for an apartment. I found only one place that I could afford, but the landlord said I could not move in until it was painted. When I fi rst arrived in San Francisco, my thoughts were to
continued
S d ffi
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Here is a list of the various events described by the writer of paragraph 1. Number
the events in the correct time sequence by writing 1 in front of the fi rst event that
occurred, 2 in front of the second event, and so on.
Since I arrived in the Bay Area in midsummer, I have had the most diffi cult
period of my life.
I had to search for an apartment I could afford.
I had to fi nd a job so that I could afford my own place.
My stepmother objected to my living with her and my father.
I had to paint the apartment before I could move in.
I had to fi nd an alternative to unreliable bus transportation.
I had to register again for my college courses because of a coun-
selor’s mistake.
Your instructor may now have you rewrite the paragraph on separate paper. If
so, be sure to use time signals such as fi rst, next, then, during, when, after, and now to help guide your reader from one event to the next.
E X P L A N AT I O N
The writer of this paragraph has provided a good deal of specifi c evidence to support the opening point. The evidence, however, needs to be organized. Before starting the paragraph, the writer should have decided to arrange the details by using time order. He or she could then have listed in a scratch outline the exact sequence of events that made for such a diffi cult period.
ACTIVITY 10
stay with my father and stepmother. I had to set out looking for a job so that I could afford my own place, for I soon realized that my stepmother was not at all happy having me live with them. A three-week search led to a job shampooing rugs for a housecleaning company. I painted the apartment myself, and at least that problem was ended. I was in a hurry to get settled because I was starting school at the University of San Francisco in September. A transportation problem developed because my stepmother insisted that I return my father’s bike, which I was using at fi rst to get to school. I had to rely on a bus that often arrived late, with the result that I missed some classes and was late for others. I had already had a problem with registration in early September. My counselor had made a mistake with my classes, and I had to register all over again. This meant that I was one week late for class. Now I’m riding to school with a classmate and no longer have to depend on the bus. My life is starting to order itself, but I must admit that at fi rst I thought it was hopeless to stay here.
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164 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
E X P L A N AT I O N
The writer of this paragraph provides a number of specifi cs that support the opening point. However, the supporting material has not been organized clearly. Before writing this paragraph, the author should have (1) decided to arrange the supporting evidence by using emphatic order and (2) listed in a scratch outline the reasons students should visit the jazz festival. The writer could also have de- termined which reason to use in the emphatic fi nal position of the paper.
Create a clear outline for paragraph 2 by fi lling in the scheme below. The outline
is partially completed.
Music students should plan to visit the University of Idaho and include the
Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival in their visit.
1.
a.
b.
Reason Brings toget her famous jazz musicians with students of all ages
Details
ACTIVITY 11
Lionel Hampton in Idaho
Music students should plan to visit the University of Idaho and include the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival in their visit. The festival, usually held in February, brings together famous jazz musicians with students of all ages, from elementary school to college. Music students can participate in master class workshops, learning from some of the greatest jazz artists. Once Lionel Hampton pledged his support, the festival grew. In addition to the headliners, the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival offers numerous workshops and opportunities for participants to learn. It has featured famous jazz artists like Dizzy Gillespie, Bobby McFerrin, and Doc Severinsen. Participants can attend smaller, more intimate concerts that often include question and answer sessions. They receive trophies and awards for their performances. Elementary and middle school students benefi t from the festival as the artists spend time visiting the surrounding schools and introducing students to the beauty of jazz. Two of the most exciting events for students are the Young Artists Concerts and Hamp’s Club. Both of these events highlight students and groups who have been selected for recognition. Students perform in front of large audiences. There are jazz festivals around the United States; the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival is one that should not be missed. This four-day event began as a local celebration, but gained national recognition when Ella Fitzgerald headlined.
PARAGRAPH 2
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c.
2.
a.
b.
c.
3.
a.
b.
c.
Your instructor may have you rewrite the paragraph on separate paper. If so, be
sure to introduce each of the three reasons with transitions such as First, Another reason, and Finally. You may also want to use repeated words, pronouns, and syn- onyms to help tie your sentences together.
6 Evaluating Paragraphs for All Four Bases: Unity, Support, Coherence, and Sentence Skills In this activity, you will evaluate paragraphs in terms of all four bases: unity, sup-
port, coherence, and sentence skills. Evaluative comments follow each paragraph
below. Circle the letter of the statement that best applies in each case.
1.
ReasonOff ers numerous workshops and opp ortunities for participants to learn
Details Master class workshops
Reason
DetailsEvents such as Hamp's Club rec ognize students and groups
ACTIVITY 12
Texting
Cell phone texting is ruining people’s understanding of proper English skills. First, texting is causing a generation of people to acquire weak writing skills. Secondly, people are forgetting how to use proper grammar and sentence structure. Instead of writing in complete sentences, people write short phrases that are often sentence fragments. Finally, texting is creating a generation of people who cannot spell properly. If we aren’t careful, soon people won’t be able to write, spell, or properly communicate with each other.
a. The paragraph is not unifi ed.
b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.
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166 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
2.
Bullying
In recent years, the frequency of bullying in schools has increased. The National Education Association estimates that 160,000 children stay home from school regularly. Because they fear being bullied. In fact, fi fteen percent of absenteeism is caused by the fear of being bullied, and at least one out of every six children is a victim of bullying. Believed to have low esteem, psychologists once thought that bullies were children who had been bullied themselves, either at school or at home. And that they intimidated others to bolster their egos. However, new research shows that many bullies have high self-esteem, they engage in such behavior because they take pleasure in threatening and even harming others. Bullying can be stopped. The Stop Bullying Web site advises victims of bullying to report it to teachers or counselors. Also to join groups in which others will lend support against bullies. Finally, to confront the bully if it’s safe to do so.
Asking Girls Out
There are several reasons I have trouble asking girls to go out with me. I have asked some girls out and have been turned down. This is one reason that I can’t talk to them. At one time I was very shy and quiet, and people sometimes didn’t even know I was present. I can talk to girls now as friends, but as soon as I want to ask them out, I usually start to become quiet, and a little bit of shyness comes out. When I fi nally get the nerve up, the girl will turn me down, and I swear that I will never ask another one out again. I feel sure I will get a refusal, and I have no confi dence in myself. Also, my friends mock me, though they aren’t any better than I am. It is very discouraging when my friends get on me. Sometimes I just stand there and wait to hear what line the girl will use. The one they use a lot is “We like you as a friend, Ted, and it’s better that way.” All my past experiences with girls have been just as bad. One girl used me to make her old boyfriend jealous. Then when she succeeded, she started going out with him again. I had a bad experience when I took a girl to the prom. I spent a lot of money on her. Two days later, she told me that she was getting serious with another guy. I feel that when I meet a girl I have to be sure I can trust her. I don’t want her to turn on me.
a. The paragraph is not unifi ed.
b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.
3.
a. The paragraph is not unifi ed.
b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.
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4.
a. The paragraph is not unifi ed.
b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.
5.
A Change in My Writing
A technique of my present English instructor has corrected a writing problem that I’ve always had. In past English courses, I had major problems with commas in the wrong places, bad spelling, capitalizing the wrong words, sentence fragments, and run-on sentences. I never had any big problems with unity, support, or coherence, but the sentence skills were another matter. They were like little bugs that always appeared to infest my writing. My present instructor asked me to rewrite papers, just concentrating on sentence skills. I thought that the instructor was crazy because I didn’t feel that rewriting would do any good. I soon became certain that my instructor was out of his mind, for he made me rewrite my fi rst paper four times. It was very frustrating, for I became tired of doing the same paper over and over. I wanted to belt my instructor against the wall when I’d show him each new draft and he’d fi nd skills mistakes and say, “Rewrite.” Finally, my papers began to improve and the sentence skills began to fall into place. I was able to see them and correct them before turning in a paper, whereas I couldn’t before. Why or how this happened I don’t know, but I think that rewriting helped a lot. It took me most of the semester, but I stuck it out and the work paid off.
Luck and Me
I am a very lucky man, though the rest of my family has not always been lucky. Sometimes when I get depressed, which is too frequently, it’s hard to see just how lucky I am. I’m lucky that I’m living in a country that is free. I’m allowed to worship the way I want to, and that is very important to me. Without a belief in God a person cannot live with any real certainty in life. My relationship with my wife is a source of good fortune for me. She gives me security, and that’s something I need a lot. Even with these positive realities in my life, I still seem to fi nd time for insecurity, worry, and, worst of all, depression. At times in my life I have had bouts of terrible luck. But overall, I’m a very lucky guy. I plan to further develop the positive aspects of my life and try to eliminate the negative ones.
a. The paragraph is not unifi ed.
b. The paragraph is not adequately supported.
c. The paragraph is not well organized.
d. The paragraph does not show a command of sentence skills.
e. The paragraph is well written in terms of the four bases.
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HOW HAS TECHNOLOGY HELPED YOU? Laptops, smart phones, and tablets have all made it much easier to have technology on the go. Write a paragraph in which you describe one of your favorite places to study and write. What type of place is it? What is it about that space that inspires you? Do you prefer to be there alone or with others?
HHHOOOWWW HHHAAASSS TTTEEECCCHHHNNNOOOLLLOOOGGGYYY HHHEEELLLPPPEEEDDD YYYOOOUUU??? Laptops,
This chapter will
• offer tips for writing on-screen
• provide information on using digital and electronic resources at each stage of the writing process
• explain and illustrate how to use the Internet to fi nd books and articles on a topic
• show you how to evaluate Internet sources
• present a preview of Part 2
Writing in the Digital Age
C H A P T E R
In the last decade, computers, tablets, and online resources have become in-
creasingly more important to the writing process. Almost all instructors re-
quire that papers be typed and printed (rather than handwritten), and most
students use word-processing programs like Google Docs or Microsoft Word
to compose, revise, and edit essays. Online resources provide a wide array of
opportunities for brainstorming, learning more about topics, and sharing ideas
with peers. Even if you don’t currently own a computer or if you do but it
needs maintenance, your school has one or more computer labs with machines
specifi cally for student use. These labs are sometimes staffed, and if they
aren’t, most computers have very user-friendly interfaces and Help programs.
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Tips for Writing On-Screen • If you are using your school’s computer center, allow enough time. You
may have to wait for a computer or printer to be free, or your school may
have sign-up sheets in the lab or online. In addition, you may need several
sessions at the computer and printer to complete your paper.
• When using word-processing programs like Microsoft Word or Google
Docs save your work frequently as you write your draft. In addition to saving on the computer, back fi les up on an external disk, a fl ash drive, or
a server. Most computers will auto-save your work, but any fi le that is not
saved may be lost if the program quits, the computer crashes, or the power
is turned off.
• Always keep your work in multiple places—the hard drive you are working
on; a backup device such as a fl ash drive or external hard drive; and a
server such as Dropbox or iCloud. You can also e-mail a copy to yourself.
• Print out your work at least at the end of every session. Then not only
will you have your most recent draft to work on away from the computer,
you’ll also have a copy in case something should happen to your fi les.
• Before making major changes in a paper, create a copy of your fi le. For
example, if your fi le is titled “Worst Job,” create a fi le called “Worst Job
2” or “Worst Job 2-9-15” (using the date as a reference). Then make all
your changes in that fi le. If the changes don’t work out, you can always go
back to the original fi le.
Using Digital and Electronic Resources at Each Stage of the Writing Process Word-processing programs like Microsoft Word or Google Docs make it easy for
you to experiment with ideas and wording throughout your paper. They also allow
you to create and save many versions.
Following are ways to use computers at each stage of the writing process. Note
that the sections that follow correspond to the stages of the writing process de-
scribed in Chapter 2, pages 18–50. Note, too, that although Gene Hert, the student
author of “My Job in an Apple Plant,” preferred to handwrite his early stages, the
computer offers a valuable alternative.
Prewriting If you’re a fast typist, many kinds of prewriting will work well on the computer.
With freewriting in particular, you can get ideas onto the screen almost as quickly
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170 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
as they occur to you. A passing thought that could be productive is not likely to
get lost. You may even fi nd it helpful, when freewriting, to dim the screen of your
monitor so that you can’t see what you’re typing. If you temporarily cannot see the
screen, you won’t have to worry about grammar or spelling or typing errors (all of
which do not matter in prewriting); instead, you can concentrate on getting down
as many ideas and details as possible about your subject.
After you complete your prewriting, it’s often very helpful to print out a hard
copy of what you’ve done. With a clean printout in front of you, you’ll be able to
see everything at once and revise and expand your work with handwritten com-
ments in the margins of the paper. Alternately, you can continue to work on-screen
and track your changes there.
Working on a computer also makes it easy for you to experiment with the
wording of the point (also called a working topic sentence or working thesis) of
your paper. You can try a number of versions in a short time. After you have de-
cided on the version that works best, you can easily delete the other versions, sim-
ply move them to a temporary “leftover” section at the end of the paper, or move
them to a new fi le.
Preparing a Scratch Outline If you used listing as a prewriting technique, you may easily be able to turn your
list into an outline. Use the cut and paste functions to shuffl e the ideas around until
you fi nd the best order of supporting points and details for your paper. You can eas-
ily delete any ideas that do not fi t and add new ideas as needed.
You can also create scratch outlines using Web-based programs like Work-
Flowy (also available as an app for most smartphones) and ThinkLinkr. Both tools
can be used, as well, to jumpstart brainstorming and take notes, and they allow you
to share and work together on outlines with others. This can be useful when getting
peer feedback or working on a group writing project.
At any point in the prewriting, outlining, or drafting process, you might experience writer’s block or need some inspiration. One way to get ideas fl owing is to do some Google searches based on key words in your topic. For instance, you could do a search for “worst jobs” and fi nd some funny lists or sad stories on the topic. Maybe an anecdote by someone else will help you remember a specifi c detail from your own experience. It’s a little too easy to get caught up in Web searching for hours, so restrict your search to ten or twenty minutes. Set an alarm so you won’t go over your time limit. If you are trying to fi nd a new topic or can’t think of one, try reviewing recent e-mails, text messages, posts on Twitter or Facebook, or even your school library Web site. What have you been talking about with friends, family, or classmates? What topics have been hotly discussed on your campus? Try writing about something that interests you.
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Writing the First Draft Like many writers, you may want to write your fi rst draft by hand and then type
it into the computer for revision. The process of simply typing out a handwritten
draft for the fi rst time may provide opportunities for making some changes and
improvements. Once you have a draft on the screen, you will fi nd it much easier to
revise than a handwritten one.
If you feel comfortable composing directly on the screen, you can benefi t from
a number of special features. For example, if you have written an anecdote in your
freewriting that you plan to use in your paper, simply copy the story from your free-
writing fi le and insert it where it fi ts into your paper. You can refi ne it then or later.
Or if you discover while typing that a sentence is out of place, cut it out from where
it is and paste it wherever you wish. And if while writing you realize that an earlier
sentence can be expanded, just go back to that point and type in the added material.
As you write a fi rst draft, it can be tempting to break things up by texting,
visiting Twitter, answering e-mails, or streaming a fi lm. Avoid the temptation by
turning off your phone and hiding these other options. One way to do this is by
drafting with a program like Typewriter, TextRoom, JDarkRoom, or FocusCopy.
If you use a Mac, WriteRoom is a good option. Each of these programs turns your
screen into a blank sheet of paper or chalkboard, and there are options to shield
you from alerts about new messages or updates of any kind. You are also free from
DO YOU THINK COMPUTERS AND TABLETS HAVE MADE IT EASIER OR MORE complicated to do research? Do you like the accessibility of electronic resources or do you spend too much time on social networking sites? When you choose research materials, do you prefer electronic or print? Jot down several specifi c methods you typically employ for research. Highlight one that you feel you could improve and explain why.
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172 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
the distractions of choices; without menus and, for instance, font options, you can
focus on the writing itself. If you’d prefer to use an online text editor instead of one
you have to download, try DarkCopy. When you’re ready to start formatting your
paper, you can copy and paste it into the word-processing program you normally
use; TextRoom allows you to export text directly to Google Docs.
Revising It is during revision that the virtues of word-processing programs really shine. All
substituting, adding, deleting, and rearranging can be done easily within an existing
fi le. All changes instantly take their proper places within the paper, not scribbled
above the line or squeezed into the margin. Also, you can choose to track your
changes within a draft, instead of saving multiple versions, and leave comments and
questions for yourself in the margins with a Comments (or similarly named) feature.
You can concentrate on each change you want to make, because you never have to
type from scratch or work on a messy draft. You can carefully go through your paper
to check that all your supporting evidence is relevant and to add new support as
needed here and there. Anything you decide to eliminate can be deleted quickly and
neatly. Anything you add can be inserted precisely where you choose. You can undo
edits easily, too. If you change your mind, all you have to do is delete or cut and
paste. Then you can sweep through the paper focusing on other changes: improving
word choice, increasing sentence variety, eliminating wordiness, and so on.
If you are like some students, you will fi nd it convenient to print out a hard
copy of your fi le at various points throughout the revision. Make sure your paper
is double spaced to make it easier to revise in longhand. The double spacing will
give you room to add, cross out, and indicate changes that you can quickly make
when you revise the document.
Editing and Proofreading Editing and proofreading also benefi t richly from word processing. Instead of
crossing or whiting out mistakes, or rewriting an entire paper to correct numerous
errors, you can make all necessary changes within the most recent draft. If you fi nd
editing or proofreading on the screen hard on your eyes, print out a copy. Mark any
corrections on that copy, and then transfer them to the fi nal draft.
If the word-processing software you’re using includes spelling and grammar
checks, by all means use them. The spell-check function tells you when a word is
not in the computer’s dictionary. Keep in mind, however, that the spell-check can-
not tell you how to spell a name correctly or when you have mistakenly used, for
example, their instead of there. To a spell-check, Thank ewe four the complement is as correct as Thank you for the compliment. Also use the grammar-checker with caution. Any errors it doesn’t uncover are still your responsibility, and it sometimes
points out mistakes where there are none.
A freshly printed paper, with its clean appearance and attractive formatting,
looks so good that you may think it is in better shape than it really is. Do not be
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fooled by your paper’s appearance. Take suffi cient time to review your grammar,
punctuation, and spelling carefully.
Even after you hand in your paper, save the digital fi le. Your teacher may ask
you to do some revising, and then the fi le will save you from having to type the
paper from scratch.
Occasionally, you may be asked to submit a paper in electronic form, either
through e-mail or on a school server or FTP site or cloud. In these cases, always
double check that the fi le has gone through. Get confi rmation from your instructor,
not just from the system or destination itself. Submit a paper electronically only if
your instructor specifi cally asks this of you.
In future assignments, you may be asked to incorporate images or links into a paper. Think of these as garnishes on a dinner plate or lemon slices in glasses of water—they are there to add a bit of color and fl avor, but not to overwhelm the main dish. Incorporate visuals or links into a paper only with your instructor’s approval and guidance. Know and follow rules, both legal and ethical, about when and how to use others’ images and how to credit them. You probably know the saying “A picture speaks a thousand words.” Remember this when selecting an image; aim to fi nd one that illustrates or supports your paper’s main idea. Links should be used when they provide useful information that enhances the content of your paper. As with images, avoid links that might distract readers from the central point of your paper.
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Using the Internet The Internet can aid and enhance
your writing in numerous ways. It can
be especially valuable in aiding you
in doing research for a paper or essay
but it can also help you check dates,
names, and background information
for any kind of writing. Here we will
look at how you can use the Internet
to find books and articles on a par-
ticular topic. We will also discuss
the important issue of learning how
to evaluate Internet sources, as these
sources vary greatly in their quality
and reliability.
HAVE YOU USED AN ELECTRONIC SOURCE TO ORDER books? What is your favorite method of acquiring e-books? In a few lines, describe the difference between browsing in a brick and mortar bookstore or library and browsing online for a book.
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174 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Find Books on Your Topic To fi nd current books, go to your college’s catalog, which you may be able to access
from home, and look for books published recently. Another approach is to go online
and search the Web site of a commercial bookseller such as Amazon.com (www.am-
azon.com) or Barnes and Noble Books (www.barnesandnoble.com). You can search
for books on these sites for free, and you are under no obligation to buy a book.
Use the “Browse” Tab On the Web site of a commercial bookseller, click on “Books” and then “Browse.”
You’ll get a list of general categories to search. Suppose you are reporting on the
development of the modern telescope. When you click “Browse subjects” on Am-
azon.com, you get a list of categories that includes “Science & Math.” Clicking on
that category displays a list of subcategories, one of which is “Astronomy & Space
Science.” Clicking on this subcategory brings up more subcategories, including
“Telescopes.” Finally, clicking on “Telescopes” gives you a list of recent books
on the topic. You can click on each title for information about each book. All this
browsing can be done very easily and will help you research your topic quickly.
Use the “Search” Box If you are preparing a paper on some aspect of photography, type the word “pho-
tography” in the search box. You’ll then get a list of books on that subject. Just
looking at the list may help you narrow your subject and decide on a specifi c
topic to develop. For instance, one student typed “photography” in the search
box on Barnes and Noble’s site and got a list of 13,000 books on the subject.
Considering only part of that list helped her realize that she wanted to write on
some aspect of photography during the U.S. Civil War. She typed “Civil War
photography” and got a list of 200 titles. After looking at information about
twenty of those books, she was able to decide on a limited topic for her paper.
A Note on the Library of Congress The commercial bookstore sites are especially quick and easy to use. But to fi nd ad-
ditional books on your topic, you can also visit the Library of Congress Web site
(www.loc.gov). The Library of Congress, in Washington, D.C., has copies of all books
published in the United States. Its online catalog contains about twelve million entries.
You can browse this catalog by subject or search by keywords. The search form per-
mits you to check only those books that interest you. Click on the “Full Record” op-
tion to view publication information about a book, as well as its call numbers. You can
then try to obtain the book from your college library or through an interlibrary loan.
Other Points to Note Remember that at any time you can use your printer to quickly print informa-
tion presented on the screen. (For example, the student planning a paper on
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photography in the Civil War could print a list of the twenty books, along with
sheets of information about individual books.) You could then go to your library
knowing exactly what books you want to borrow. If your own local or school
library is accessible online, you can visit in advance to fi nd out whether it has
the books you want. Also, if you have time and money, you may want to pur-
chase them from a local bookshop or an online bookstore, such as Amazon. Used
books are often available at greatly reduced cost, and they often ship out in only
a few days.
Find Articles on Your Topic There are many online sources that will help you fi nd articles on your subject. Fol-
lowing are descriptions of some of them.
Online Databases Most college and public libraries provide online computer-search services
known as online databases or library subscription services. Using any of these services, you can type in keywords and quickly search many periodicals
for articles on your subject. Some databases, such as General Science Index,
cover a specific discipline, but others, such as Academic Search Elite, are more
general.
Often, articles you fi nd will appear as “full text.” This means that you can print
the entire article from your computer. In other cases, only an abstract (summary) of the article will be available. However, abstracts are valuable too, because they
allow you to determine whether the article is relevant to your research and whether
you should continue searching for the full text.
Finally, database articles appear in HTML or PDF format or in both. Articles in HTML (hypertext markup language) have been reformatted for publication on the Internet. Those in PDF (portable document format) are exact reproductions of a print document.
Your library may use a service that provides access to many online databases.
EBSCOhost, Infotrac, and ProQuest are such services. Here are a few online data-
bases that have proven useful for new student researchers.
Academic Search Premier covers a variety of disciplines and includes full- text articles and abstracts of articles from more than 4,400 periodicals.
CGP (Catalog of U.S. Government Publications) contains documents pub- lished by the U.S. government.
Cumulative Index to Nursing and Allied Health Literature (CINAHL) provides access to articles found in more than 1,800 professional journals in
the health professions.
ERIC (Education Resources Information Center) makes available articles from professional journals, reports, and speeches having to do with education.
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176 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
General Science Index lists articles on biology, chemistry, physics, and the other physical sciences.
JSTOR (Journal Storage) provides full-text articles found in back issues of journals in the humanities, social sciences, and natural sciences.
New York Times Index lists articles published in this newspaper since 1913.
PsychInfo is published by the American Psychological Association. It in- cludes abstracts of books, articles, and doctoral dissertations in psychology. It
also provides access to full-text articles through PsycARTICLES.
Wilson Humanities Index covers more than 500 English-language peri- odicals in disciplines such as archaeology, the classics, art, history, theater,
music, literature, philosophy, and religion.
Online Magazine, Newspaper, and Journal Articles Although your college library
may subscribe to online data-
bases, another online research
service, one that you can sub-
scribe to individually on a
home computer, is Question. You may be able to get a free
one-day trial subscription or
pay for a monthly subscription
at limited cost. This service
provides millions of newspaper
articles as well as thousands of
book chapters and television
and radio transcripts.
Search Engines An Internet search engine will
help you quickly go through a
vast amount of information on
the Web to fi nd articles about
almost any topic. Google, the
most commonly used search
engine, can be accessed by
typing “www.google.com.” A
screen will then appear with a
HERE ARE TWO TIPS TO HELP YOU SIFT THROUGH MULTITUDES OF search results: Instead of starting with the top-listed page, use the list of results to fi nd the right keywords to narrow and refi ne your research. Then use those keywords in a more academic search engine like Google Scholar. Or, you might start by employing a search engine that focuses on specifi c types of Web sites, such as academic or medical.
Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google Inc., used with permission.
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box in which you can type one or more keywords. For example, if you are thinking
of doing a paper on yoga, you simply enter the keyword, “yoga.” Within a second
or so you will get a list of millions of articles and sites on the Web about the subject
of yoga.
You should then try to narrow your topic by adding other keywords. For in-
stance, if you typed “health benefi ts of yoga,” you would get a considerably re-
duced list of articles and sites. If you narrowed your potential topic further by
typing “effects of yoga on reducing stress,” you would get a far more focused list.
Google does a superior job of returning hits that are genuinely relevant to your
search, so just scanning only the early part of a list may be enough to provide you
with the information you need.
Very often your challenge with searches will be getting too much information
rather than too little. Try making your keywords more specifi c, or use different
combinations of keywords. You might also try using Google Scholar or another
search engine, such as Bing. In addition, consult the search engine’s built-in “Ad-
vanced Search” feature for tips on successful searching.
Finally, save the addresses of relevant Web sites that you may want to visit
again. The browser that you are using (for example, Internet Explorer or Safari)
will probably have a “Bookmark” or “Favorite Places” option. With the click of
a mouse, you can bookmark a site. You will then be able to return to it simply
by clicking on its name in a list, rather than having to remember and type its
address.
1. Using your library’s list of databases, fi nd a database that would give you
information about the following subjects and write the title of that database.
a. career preparation:
b. Sigmund Freud:
c. space travel:
d. a new state law:
2. Using one of the online databases to which your college subscribes, fi nd an
article on organic gardening.
a. Name of the database you used
b. Article title
c. Author (if given)
d. Name of magazine, journal, or newspaper
e. Pages (if given)
f. Date
ACTIVITY 1
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178 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Guidelines for Evaluating Online Sources 1. Internet address: In a Web address, the three letters after the “dot”
identify the domain. The most common domains are .com, .edu, .gov,
.net, and .org. You can’t always determine a Web site’s reliability by the
domain type. Almost anyone can get a Web address ending in .com or .org. So you must examine every Web site carefully. Consider these three points: author, internal evidence, and date.
2. Author: What credentials does the author have? What academic degrees does he or she hold? Does the author work for a college, university, well-
respected think tank, or research group? Has he or she published other
material on the topic?
3. Internal evidence: Does the author seem to proceed objectively— presenting all sides of the issue fairly before stating his or her own
views?
Does the sponsor of the Web site seem to be an objective source? For
example, it would be fair to assume that a Web article from the American
Medical Association discussing irradiated food treats the subject
objectively. Can you say the same for an article appearing on the Web
site of an irradiated-food distributor?
Does the author provide adequate support for his or her views?
Or does he or she make unsupported generalizations—claims that are
simply not backed up with studies or the opinions of other experts?
Was the article fi rst published in a print version? Is the publisher of
this print version reliable? If the article was not fi rst published in print,
could it have been, or is it so outlandish that no publisher would take the
fi nancial risk of backing it?
4. Date: Is the information up to date? Check at the top or bottom of the document for copyright, publication, or revision dates. Knowing such
data will help you decide whether the material is current enough for your
purposes. For example, would a ten-year-old article on computer viruses
yield useful information for a paper that discusses ways to protect
today’s computers? Probably not.
Evaluating Internet Sources Keep in mind that the quality and reliability of information you fi nd on the Internet
may vary widely. Anyone with a bit of computer know-how can create a Web site
and post information there. That person may be a Nobel Prize winner, a leading
authority in a specialized fi eld, a high school student, or a crackpot. Be careful,
then, to look closely at your source in the following ways.
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PART A Go to www.google.com and search for the word “democracy.” Then complete the items below.
1. How many items did your search yield?
2. In the early listings, you will probably fi nd each of the following domains: edu,
gov, org, and com. Pick one site with each domain and write its full address.
a. Address of one .com site you found:
b. Address of one .gov site:
c. Address of one .org site:
d. Address of one .edu site:
PART B Circle one of the sites you identifi ed above and use it to complete the following evaluation.
3. Name of site’s author or authoring institution:
4. Is site’s information current (within two years)?
5. Does the site serve obvious business purposes (with advertising or attempts to
sell products)?
6. Does the site have an obvious connection to a governmental, commercial,
business, or religious organization? If so, which one?
7. Does the site’s information seem fair and objective?
8. Based on the information above, would you say the site appears reliable?
ACTIVITY 2
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180 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
Select one of the following areas or (with your instructor’s permission) an area of
your own choice:
Acid rain
Airport security
All-electric cars
Alzheimer’s disease
Animal rights movement
Animals nearing extinction
Assisted suicide
Autism
Best job prospects today
Bill of Rights
Cell phones and driving
Censorship on the Internet
Charter schools
Child abuse
Climate change
Cremation
Declaration of Independence
Drug treatment programs
Everyday addictions
Fertility drugs
Food poisoning (salmonella)
Forecasting earthquakes
Health insurance reform
Heroes for today
Holistic healing
HPV immunizations
Magna Carta
Medical marijuana
Mind-body medicine
New remedies for allergies
New treatments for insomnia
Noise control
Nursing home costs
Online gambling
Organ donation
Origins of Kwanzaa
Pollution of drinking water
Prenatal care
Prison reform
Privacy and technology
Problems of retirement
Recent consumer frauds
Ritalin and children
Self-help groups
Sexual harassment
Steroids and professional athletes
Stress reduction in the workplace
Surrogate mothers
The Aztecs
The Maya
The next ice age
Toxic waste disposal
Vegetarianism/Veganism
Violence in videogames
Witchcraft today
First, look up your topic in a search engine like Google (or Google Scholar if
your instructor specifi es that your sources need to be academic) and read through
the results. In order to narrow your search, note the most prevalent main subject
headings and tag words. Employing your library's catalog and database, use the tag
words to locate books and articles about your chosen topic. Locate several sources
you think might be benefi cial.
ACTIVITY 3
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1. Topic
2. Three books that either cover the topic directly or at least touch on the topic
in some way. Include
Author
Title
Place of publication
Publisher
Date of publication
3. Three articles on the topic published in 2007 or later. Include
Title of article
Author (if given)
Title of magazine
Date
Pages (if given)
4. Finally, write a paragraph describing exactly how you went about researching
your topic. In addition, include a photocopy or printout of one of the three
articles.
A Look Ahead to Part 2 Patterns of Paragraph Development Traditionally, writing has been divided into the following patterns of development.
• Exposition • Description
Exemplifi cation • Narration
Process • Argumentation
Cause and/or effect
Comparison and/or contrast
Defi nition
Classifi cation
In exposition, the writer provides information about and explains a particular subject. Patterns of development within exposition include exemplifi cation, or giv- ing examples; detailing a process of doing or making something; analyzing causes and effects; comparing and contrasting; defi ning a term or concept; and dividing something into parts or classifying it into categories.
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182 Part 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
In addition to the six exposition patterns of development, three other patterns
are common: description, narration, and argumentation. A description is a ver- bal picture of a person, place, or thing. In narration, a writer tells the story of something that happened. Finally, in argumentation, a writer attempts to support a controversial point or defend a position on which there is a difference of opinion.
The pages ahead present individual chapters on each pattern. You will have a
chance, then, to learn nine different patterns or methods for organizing material in
your papers. Each pattern has its own internal logic and provides its own special
strategies for imposing order on your ideas.
As you practice each pattern, you should remember the following Tip.
While each paragraph that you write will involve one predominant pattern, very often one or more additional patterns may be involved as well. For instance, the paragraph, “The Children of Huang Shi: A Must See,” presents a series of examples to support the argument that people should watch this fi lm. But the author also uses description to support each of his/her points (low-key lighting, vastness and ruggedness of China’s wilderness, delicate and intimate music). No matter which pattern or patterns you use, each paragraph will probably involve some form of argumentation. You will advance a point and then go on to support your point. To convince the reader that your point is valid, you may use exemplifi cation, narration, description, or some other pattern of organization. Among the paragraphs you will read in Part 2, one writer supports the point that a favorite outdoor spot is like “heaven” by providing a number of descriptive details. Another labels a certain experience in his life as heartbreaking and then uses a narrative to demonstrate the truth of his statement. A third writer advances the opinion that good horror movies can be easily distinguished from bad horror movies and then supplies comparative information about both to support her claim. Much of your writing, in short, will have the purpose of persuading your reader that the idea you have advanced is valid.
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Th e Progression in Each Chapter After each type of paragraph development is explained, student papers illustrating
that type are presented. These are followed by questions about the paragraphs. The
questions relate to unity, support, and coherence—three of the four bases of effec-
tive writing. You are then asked to write your own paragraph. In most cases, the fi rst
assignment is fairly structured and provides a good deal of guidance for the writing
process. The other assignments offer a wide choice of writing topics. At least one
assignment will require some simple research. The fi nal assignment always requires
writing with a specifi c purpose and for a specifi c audience.
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P R E V I E W
8 Exemplifi cation
9 Process
10 Cause and/or Eff ect
11 Comparison and/or Contrast
12 Defi nition
13 Division-Classifi cation
14 Description
15 Narration
16 Argument
This photograph is clearly making a statement. Write a paragraph about what you think that statement is and why you came to that conclusion. You may want to use personal experience to strengthen the support in your paragraph.
Paragraph Development
P A
R T
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ARE WE A HEALTH-CONSCIOUS NATION? Look at this photograph and write a paragraph in which you answer that question. Use examples found in the media, in the photograph, or in your own daily observations to support your point. Consider how and why some examples are stronger than others in helping to support a position.
AAARRREEE WWWEEE AAA HHHEEEAAALLLTTTHHH-CCCOOONNNSSSCCCIIIOOOUUUSSS NNNAAATTTIIIOOONNN??? Look
This chapter will explain and illustrate how to
• develop an exemplifi cation paragraph
• write an exemplifi cation paragraph
• revise an exemplifi cation paragraph
In addition, you will read and evaluate
• three student paragraphs
Exemplifi cation C H A P T E R
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In our daily conversations, we often provide examples—that is, details, particulars, specifi c instances—to explain statements that we make.
Consider the several statements and supporting examples in the box
below.
In each case, the examples help us see for ourselves the truth of the state- ment that has been made. In paragraphs, too, explanatory examples help
the audience fully understand a point. Lively, specifi c examples also add
interest to a paragraph.
In this chapter, you will be asked to provide a series of examples to
support a topic sentence. Providing examples to support a point is one of
the simplest and most common methods of paragraph development. To
prepare for this assignment, read the following paragraphs, which all use
examples to develop their points, and answer the questions.
Statement Wal-Mart was crowded today.
The corduroy shirt I bought is
poorly made.
Success in college requires
students to practice
commonsense habits.
Examples There were at least four carts
waiting at each of the checkout
counters, and it took me forty-
fi ve minutes to get through a
line.
When I washed it, the colors
began to fade, one button
cracked and another fell off,
a shoulder seam opened, and
the sleeves shrank almost two
inches.
Regular attendance is necessary
for mastering the complex ideas
taught in college. Keeping
up with the assigned reading
prepares students for class and
increases their grasp of the
material. Careful note taking
is essential to studying for and
passing examinations.
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186 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
Confessions of an Internet Addict
1My addiction to the Internet is causing several problems in my life. 2The fi rst issue is my expanding waistline. 3I used to enjoy exercising and playing tennis four days a week, but now my need to catch up on Twitter and read the latest sports blogs has stopped me from exercising. 4In the last six months, I have followed every major sports story, but I have also gained thirty pounds. 5The second issue is my online shopping. 6I no longer have to leave the house to buy groceries, clothes, or cleaning supplies. 7With the quick touch of a button, I can have my items ordered, and within days, delivered. 8The worst issue, however, is my dying social life. 9Whenever a friend texts to meet up, I usually ignore the text or respond that I am busy. 10Fewer and fewer friends are texting anymore, so even if I wanted to go out, I don’t have anyone to meet. 11Although the Internet benefi ts most people, it has had a negative impact on my life.
Offi ce Politics
1Offi ce politics is a destructive game played by several types of people. 2For instance, two supervisors may get into a confl ict over how to do a certain job. 3Instead of working out an agreement like adults, they carry on a power struggle that turns the poor employees under them into human Ping-Pong balls being swatted between two angry players. 4Another common example of offi ce politics is the ambitious worker who takes credit for other people’s ideas. 5He or she will chat in a “friendly” fashion with inexperienced employees, getting their ideas about how to run the offi ce more smoothly. 6Next thing you know, Mr. or Ms. Idea-Stealer is having a closed-door session with the boss and getting promotion points for his or her “wonderful creativity.” 7Yet another illustration of offi ce politics is the spy. 8This employee acts very buddy- buddy with other workers, often dropping little comments about things he or she doesn’t like in the workplace. 9The spy encourages people to talk about their problems at work, that they don’t like their boss, the pay, and the working conditions. 10Then the spy goes straight back and repeats all he or she has heard to the boss, and the employees get blamed for their “poor attitude.” 11A fi nal example of offi ce politics is people who gossip. 12Too often, offi ce politics can turn a perfectly fi ne work situation into a stressful one.
1
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A Visit to Utah’s National Parks
1Some of the most interesting national parks in the United States are found in Utah. 2For example, Zion National Park contains a canyon that is almost one-half mile deep. 3It also features massive cliffs of deep red and brown that overlook rivers and green, wooded trails. 4Visitors to Bryce Canyon National Park are treated to interesting rock formations shaped by wind erosion. 5Included are several large solid rock horseshoes, which are topped with delicate stone columns in fantastic shapes. 6South Dakota’s Badlands National Park is another place one can see landforms created by erosion. 7In most cases, it’s the wind that has cut the stone, but in others water from rivers—long dried up—has done the sculpting. 8Utah’s Arches National Park is well named because of its stone arches. 9Tourists are often seen photographing the park’s beautiful red-rock formations, whose shading varies with changes in sunlight as the day goes on. 10Petroglyphs, or engravings in the surface of rocks, can be found in Canyonlands National Park in the southeastern part of Utah. 11Many of these carvings are more than one thousand years old. 12Finally, Capitol Reef National Park is interesting because of its large white rock that looks a lot like the United States Capitol in Washington, D.C.
ABOUT UNITY 1. Which two sentences in “A Visit to Utah’s National Parks” are irrelevant to the
point that “interesting national parks . . . are found in Utah”?
ABOUT SUPPORT 2. In “Confessions of an Internet Addict,” how many examples does the writer
provide of his/her addiction?
two three four six
3. After which sentence in “Offi ce Politics” are specifi c details needed?
ABOUT COHERENCE 4. What are the four transition words or phrases that are used to introduce each
new example in “Offi ce Politics”?
QUESTIONS
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188 Part 2 Paragraph Development
5. Identify at least three transitional words or phrases used to introduce examples
in “A Visit to Utah’s National Parks.”
6. Which paragraph clearly uses emphatic order to organize its details, saving for
last what the writer regards as the most important example?
Developing an Exemplifi cation Paragraph Development through Prewriting Backing up your statements with clear, specifi c illustrations is the key to a suc-
cessful exemplifi cation paragraph. When Charlene, the writer of “Offi ce Politics,”
was assigned an examples paragraph, she at fi rst did not know what to write
about.
Then her instructor made a suggestion. “Imagine yourself having lunch with
some friends,” the instructor said. “You’re telling them how you feel about some- thing and why. Maybe you’re saying, ‘I am so mad at my boyfriend!’ or ‘My new apartment is really great.’ You wouldn’t stop there—you’d continue by saying what
your boyfriend does that is annoying, or in what way your apartment is nice. In
other words, you’d be making a general point and backing it up with examples.
That’s what you need to do in this paragraph.”
That night, Charlene was on the telephone with her brother. She was complain-
ing about the offi ce where she worked. “Suddenly I realized what I was doing,”
Charlene said. “I was making a statement—I hate the politics in my offi ce—and
giving examples of those politics. I knew what I could write about!”
Charlene began preparing to write her paragraph by freewriting. She gave her-
self ten minutes to write down everything she could think of on the subject of
politics in her offi ce. This is what she wrote:
Of all the places I’ve ever worked this one is the worst that way. Can’t trust
anybody there—everybody’s playing some sor t of game. Worst one of all is Bradley
and the way he pret ends to be fr iendly with people. Get s them to complain about
Ms. Bennett and Mr. Hankins and then runs back to them and repor ts everything.
He should realize that people are catching on to his game and fi guring out wh at
a jerk he is. Meliss a steals people’s ideas and then takes credit for them. Anything
continued
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Charlene read over her freewriting and then spent some time asking questions
about her paragraph. “Exactly what do I want my point to be?” she asked. “And
exactly how am I going to support that point?” With that in mind, she worked on
several scratch outlines and wound up with the following:
My office is being ruined by office politics. It seems like everybody is trying to
play some sor t of game to get ahead and don’t care what it does to anybody else.
One example is Bradley. Although he pretends to be friendly with people he isn’t
sincere. What he is trying to do is get them to complain about their bosses. Once
they do, he goes back to the bosses and tells them what’s been said and gets the
worker in trouble. I’ve seen the same kind of thing happen at two other offices
to get brownie points. She’s always out for herself fi rst, you can tell. Th en there’s
all the goss ip that goes on. You think you’re in a soap opera or somet hing, and it’s
kind of fun in a way but it also is very dist racting people always talking about
each ot her and worr ying about wh at they say about you. And people talk about
our boss es a lot . Nobody knows wh y Ms. Bennett and Mr. Hankins hate each ot her
so much but they each want the workers on their side. You do somet hing one boss ’s
way, but then the ot her boss app ears and is angry that you’re not doing it anot her
way. You don’t know wh at to do at times to keep people happ y.
continued
Offi ce politics are ruining the offi ce.
1. Bradley reports people’s complaints.
2. Meliss a steals ideas.
3. People goss ip.
4. Ms. Bennett and Mr. Hankins make workers choose sides .
Working from this outline, she then wrote the following fi rst draft:
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190 Part 2 Paragraph Development
“I think the paragraph would be stronger if I made it about offi ce politics in
general instead of just politics in my offi ce. Th e things I was writing about happ en in
many offi ces , not just in mine. And our instructor wants us to try some third-person
writing. Also, I need to make bett er use of transitions to help the reader follow as I
move fr om one ex ample to anot her.”
Development through Revising After completing her fi rst draft, Charlene put it aside until the next day. When she
reread it, this was her response:
wh ere I’ve worked. Meliss a is anot her ex ample of someone wh o plays offi ce politics
games . She steals ot her people’s ideas and takes the credit for them. I had a good
idea once on how to reduce offi ce memos. I told her we ought to use e-mail to
send offi ce memos instead of typing them on paper. She went to Ms. Bennett and
pret ended the idea was hers. I guess I was par tly to blame for not acting on the
idea myself. And Ms. Bennett and Mr. Hankins hate each ot her and try to get us to
take sides in their confl ict . Th en there is all the goss ip that goes on. People do a lot
of backbiting, and you have to be very careful about your behavior or people will
star t talking about you. All in all, offi ce politics is really a problem wh ere I work.
With these thoughts in mind, Charlene began revising her paragraph, and after
several drafts she produced the paragraph that appears on page 186.
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Writing an Exemplifi cation Paragraph
The assignment here is to complete an unfi nished paragraph (in the box), which
has as its topic sentence, “People use MP3 players for more than just listening to
music.” Provide the supporting details needed to develop the examples. The fi rst
example is done for you.
Uses for MP3 Players
People use MP3 players for more than just listening to music. Many people wear earpieces connected to iPods or other MP3 players just so they can drown out annoying noises.
Being plugged into an electronic device can also come in handy on a crowded bus, train, or other type of public transportation.
Listening to background music on an MP3 player can help one concentrate on important tasks even when in busy places where others are coming and going and talking among themselves.
In a large city, being ex posed to the roar of buses and trains for more than a few
minutes can be nerve-wracking. Th en there are the cars and taxis that blow their
horns at each ot her and at pedes trians as they bully their way through traffi c.
continued
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1
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192 Part 2 Paragraph Development
PREWRITING a. On a separate piece of paper, jot down a couple of answers for each of
the following questions.
• How can being plugged into an MP3 player help people avoid noise
pollution on a bus, train, or other type of public transportation? What
kinds of noise distractions have you experienced when using public
transportation?
• What tasks do you fi nd easier to concentrate on when listening to music
that comes through an earpiece? Why does the music make it easier to
concentrate on these tasks even when you are in a place that is crowded
and noisy? Name specifi c places that you often fi nd crowded and noisy.
• What kinds of unwanted noises annoy or disturb you at home? Does
such noise break your concentration when you are trying to do
something important? What are some of these tasks or projects?
Your instructor may ask you to work with one or two other students in generat-
ing the details needed to develop the three examples in the paragraph. The groups
may then be asked to read their details aloud, with the class deciding which details
are the most effective for each example.
Here and in general in your writing, try to generate more supporting material than you need. You are then in a position to choose the most convincing details for
your paragraph.
b. Read over the details you have generated and decide which sound most
effective. Jot down additional details as they occur to you.
c. Take your best details, reshape them as needed, and use them to complete
the paragraph explaining why people plug into electronic devices.
REVISING Read over the paragraph you have written. Ask yourself these questions.
Finally, listening to these devices helps drown out unwanted noise at home.
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FOUR BASES Checklist: Exemplifi cation
ABOUT UNITY
Do all of the examples I provide support the central idea that people use
MP3 players for several reasons?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Are there enough examples to make my point about MP3 players and
convince others to agree with me?
Do I appeal to my readers’ senses with vivid, specifi c examples?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have I presented the examples in my paragraph in the most eff ective
order?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
Are my sentences varied in length and structure?
Have I checked for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed on the in-
side back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you can answer “yes” to each of these questions.
Write an exemplifi cation paragraph about techniques you use to make it through a
day of school or work. These may include
Caffeine Food
A system of rewards Fantasizing
Humor Speaking with friends
Praying or meditating Just keeping busy
You might organize the paragraph by using time order. Show how you turn
to your supports at various times during the day in order to cope with fatigue or
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2
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194 Part 2 Paragraph Development
boredom. For example, in the morning you might use coffee (with its dose of caf-
feine) to get started. Later in the day, you might go on to use other caffeine-related
supports, such as drinking a Red Bull.
PREWRITING a. Select the technique you will write about.
b. Make a list of examples that will support your point. A list for someone
who uses caffeine might look like this:
Make pot of coffee
Purchase large Diet Vanilla Coke
Drink Red Bull
Eat chocolate bar
Buy coffee at Starbucks
Eat ice cream
Take two Excedrin
Munch on Perky Jerky
c. Read over your list and see how you might organize your items to refl ect
time order. The list above, for example, could be sequenced from morning
to night.
1. Consume high amounts of caffeine in the morning. a. Make a pot of coffee as soon as wake up b. Take two Excedrin before leaving house c. Purchase Starbucks double-shot latte at 10:00 a.m.
2. Eat foods with caffeine in the afternoon a. Munch on Perky Jerky throughout the afternoon b. Eat chocolate bar and drink Red Bull for afternoon snack
3. Continue consuming caffeine in the evening a. Purchase large Diet Vanilla Coke on way home b. Eat bowl of Bang! Caffeinated Ice Cream after dinner
d. Write the topic sentence of your paragraph. You should include the
specifi c technique you are writing about. For example, you might
write, “Without constant doses of caffeine, I cannot make it through
the day.”
Remember to focus on only one specifi c technique, not a vague,
general way of coping.
e. Now you have a topic sentence and an outline and are ready to write the
fi rst draft of your paragraph. Remember, as you fl esh out the examples,
that your goal is not just to tell us about the technique but to show us how it helps you get through the day.
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REVISING It’s hard to criticize your own work honestly, especially right after you’ve fi nished
writing. If at all possible, put your paragraph away for a day or so and then return to
it. Better yet, wait a day and then read it aloud to a friend whose judgment you trust.
Read the paragraph with these questions in mind.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Exemplifi cation
ABOUT UNITY
Does my topic sentence clearly state what I am writing about and how
this technique helps me through the day?
Do the examples I provide truly demonstrate how and why I use this
technique?
Is there any irrelevant material that should be eliminated or rewritten?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I provided enough specifi c details to solidly support my point?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have I organized my essay into a time-ordered paragraph?
Have I used transition words to help readers follow my train of thought?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my essay?
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
Have I used concise wording?
Are my sentences varied?
Have I proofread my essay for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed
on the inside back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
As you revise your essay through one or more additional drafts, continue to refer
to this checklist until you can answer “yes” to each question.
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196 Part 2 Paragraph Development
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3 Write a paragraph that uses examples to develop one of the following statements
or a related statement of your own.
1. The daily life of a college student is fi lled with confl icts.
2. The Internet cannot always be a trusted source of information.
3. Abundant evidence exists that the United States has become a health-
conscious nation.
4. Students attend college for various reasons.
5. One of my instructors, , has some good (or unusual) teaching techniques.
6. Travel is a great way to broaden an individual’s way of thinking.
7. Wasted electricity is all around us.
8. Colleges have resources to help students succeed.
9. Apple and Microsoft should offer their products for free.
10. Dating in the workplace can be diffi cult.
11. It is easy to fi nd opportunities to exercise in a normal, daily routine without
going to a gym or jogging.
12. Some students at do not care about learning (or are overly concerned about grades).
Be sure to choose examples that truly support your topic sentence. They should
be relevant facts, statistics, personal experiences, or incidents you have heard or
read about. Organize your paragraph by listing several examples that support your
point. Save the most vivid, most convincing, or most important example for last.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4 As the cartoon on page 197 suggests, the diet of many Americans is not healthy.
We eat too much junk food and far too much cholesterol. Write a paragraph with a
topic sentence like one of those below:
The diet of the average American is unhealthy.
The diet of many American families is unhealthy.
Many schoolchildren in America do not have a healthy diet.
PREWRITING a. To gather information you may need to do some research. In addition to
the Internet, you’ll fi nd useful material if you go to the library and search
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through article indexes for recent news magazines. (If you need help,
ask your instructor or a reference librarian.) Or interview friends and
acquaintances who might have a specifi c experience or a strong opinion
about this topic.
b. To generate ideas for your essay, try the following exercise. Pretend that a
visitor from Mars who has never heard of an unhealthy diet has asked you
to explain it, as well as why you have the attitude you do toward it. Using
the technique of freewriting—not worrying about sentence structure,
organization, spelling, repetition, and so on—write an answer for the
Martian. Throw in every reason you can think of to support your opinion.
c. As you look over the writing you’ve done for the Martian, note the
strongest points. From them, select your three main supporting points. Are
there other thoughts in your writing that can be used as supporting details
for those points?
DRAFTING a. Write your three supporting points. As you include your researched
material, make sure you credit your sources. For instance, if you gathered
information from a local nutrition council, you might want to include this
sentence, “According to the El Paso Nutrition Council, ‘63 percent of
families eat fast-food at least once a day’.”
b. In your concluding statement, summarize the problem and restate why it
is a problem.
Dan Rosandich/www.CartoonStock.com
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198 Part 2 Paragraph Development
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5 Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this exemplifi cation paragraph, you will write with a specifi c purpose and for
a specifi c audience. Imagine that you are writing a television review for a college
newspaper read by students just like you and your classmates. Your purpose will be
to recommend the television programs you think are most worth watching. Notice that the topic for this assignment is very broad. How can you discuss
the many television shows you think are worth watching in a single paragraph? You
decide to do some prewriting to narrow your topic.
Here’s where paying attention to the specifi c needs or interests of your intended
audience—students like you—can help. Through prewriting, you realize that real-
ity shows, game shows, and crime dramas are among this group’s favorite types of
television programs. You decide to limit your paragraph to shows from one of these
categories.
The next step is to express the point you want to make in a topic sentence. For
example, you might start with “The most entertaining (reality shows, game shows,
crime dramas) this season are , , and .”
You see that you will have to do some more prewriting—in this case, research—
to develop specifi c details for your paragraph. Begin by watching various episodes
of the type of show you have chosen. Take detailed notes on what qualities make
a specifi c show particularly entertaining. Is it suspenseful, clever, humorous, real-
istic? Write down examples that illustrate each of these qualities. Now, pick three
shows you would recommend to readers.
When you write your outline, list the titles of the shows as your major head-
ings. Then under each heading list two or three specifi c details that make that show
particularly entertaining. For example, you might describe how a character’s outra-
geous actions in a particular episode made you laugh.
After you have written the fi rst draft of your paragraph, read it to make sure
that your topic sentence is limited and clear, that you have included enough detail,
and that your paragraph is both unifi ed and coherent. Then revise and edit.
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C H A P T E R
Process
This chapter will explain and illustrate how to
• develop a process paragraph
• write a process paragraph
• revise a process paragraph
In addition, you will read and evaluate
• three student process paragraphs
HOW DO YOU NAVIGATE ONLINE? Write a paragraph that informs a particular reader how to “surf the Web.” For instance, you might tell fi lm buffs how to fi nd out about their favorite directors, or budding astronomers where to fi nd the most up-to-date information online, or students where to fi nd help in one or more of their courses. Be sure to imagine a specifi c audience with specifi c interests and take readers through the process of browsing the Internet step by step.
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200 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Every day we perform many activities that are processes—that is, series of steps carried out in a defi nite order. Many of these processes are famil-
iar and automatic: for example, tying shoelaces, changing sheets, using
a vending machine, and starting a car. We are thus seldom aware of the
sequence of steps making up each activity. In other cases, such as when
we are asked for directions to a particular place, or when we try to read
and follow the directions for a new game, we may be painfully conscious
of the whole series of steps involved in the process.
In this chapter, you will be asked to write a process paragraph—one
that explains clearly how to do or make something. To prepare for this as-
signment, you should fi rst read the student process papers below and then
respond to the questions that follow.
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
Sneaking into the House at Night
1The fi rst step I take is bringing my key along with me. 2Obviously, I don’t want to have to knock on the door at 1:30 in the morning and rouse my parents out of bed. 3Second, I make it a point to stay out past midnight. 4If I come in before then, my father is still up, and I’ll have to face his disapproving look. 5All I need in my life is for him to make me feel guilty. 6Trying to make it as a college student is as much as I’m ready to handle. 7Next, I am careful to be very quiet upon entering the house. 8This involves lifting the front door up slightly as I open it, so that it does not creak. 9It also means treating the fl oor and steps to the second fl oor
continued
In process writing, you are often giving instructions to the reader, so the pronoun you can appropriately be used. One of the following model paragraphs uses you—as indeed does much of this book, which gives instruction on how to write effectively. As a general rule, though, do not use you in your writing. Two of the following models demonstrate effective ways to write process paragraphs without using you.
TI P
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like a minefi eld, stepping carefully over the spots that squeak. 10When I’m upstairs, I stop briefl y in the bathroom without turning on the light. 11Finally, I tiptoe to my room, put my clothes in a pile on a chair, and slip quietly into bed. 12With my careful method of sneaking into the house at night, I have avoided some major hassles with my parents.
Protecting the Skin
1Being exposed to the sun or ultraviolet light regularly or for long periods can harm a person’s skin. 2It can even cause skin cancer. 3There are several things that can be done to prevent this. 4First, a person should stay away from tanning booths. 5They are simply not safe. 6They use ultraviolet rays, which over time can cause severe damage. 7Second, and for the same reason, a person shouldn’t use sun lamps or sit in the sun with a shiny refl ector under the chin. 8Many young people use artifi cial tanning devices or sit under sun refl ectors to clear up their complexions. 9However, there are many safer methods to solve acne problems. 10Next, even if a person doesn’t have fair skin, it’s important to avoid exposure to the sun especially during the hours of 11 A.M. to 3 P.M., when its rays are strongest. 11Finally and most important, a person should wear a hat and cover both arms and legs when out in the sun for any length of time. 12In addition, he or she should use a sunscreen that has a sun protection factor (SPF) of 30. 13However, it should be remembered that many sun protectors wash off during swimming, so they must be reapplied. 14Also, it’s worth noting that even the best sunscreen can’t protect the human body from prolonged exposure.
Dealing with Verbal Abuse
1If you are living with someone who abuses you verbally with criticism, complaints, and insults, you should take steps to change your situation. 2First, realize that you are not to blame for his or her abusive behavior. 3This may be diffi cult for you to believe. 4Years of verbal abuse have probably convinced you that you’re responsible for everything that’s wrong with your relationship. 5But that is a lie. 6If your partner is verbally
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202 Part 2 Paragraph Development
abusive, it is that person’s responsibility to learn why he or she chooses to deal with problems by saying nasty things. 7Perhaps he observed his father treating his mother that same way. 8Maybe she never learned any more positive ways to deal with negative emotions, like anger, fear, or disappointment. 9Steps two and three need to be done one right after the other. 10Step two is for you to announce that you will no longer tolerate being verbally abused. 11State that you are a person who deserves respect and civil behavior, and that you will accept no less. 12Next, offer to go with him or her to talk to a counselor who will help both of you learn new ways to communicate. 13While your partner learns to express his or her feelings without attacking you, you can learn to stand up for yourself and express your feelings clearly. 14If he or she refuses to take responsibility for changing abusive behavior, then you must consider step four: to leave that person. 15You were not put here on earth to have your self-concept demolished by serving as someone else’s verbal punching bag.
ABOUT UNITY 1. Which paragraph lacks an opening topic sentence?
2. Which two sentences in “Sneaking into the House at Night” should be elimi-
nated in the interest of paragraph unity? (Write the sentence numbers here.)
ABOUT SUPPORT 3. After which sentence in “Protecting the Skin” are supportive details or ex-
amples needed?
4. Summarize the four steps in the process of dealing with verbal abuse.
a.
b.
c.
d.
ABOUT COHERENCE 5. Which of these paragraphs use or uses time order?
QUESTIONS
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Which use or uses emphatic order?
6. Which transition words introduce the fi rst, second, and third steps in “Sneak-
ing into the House at Night”?
Developing a Process Paragraph Development through Prewriting To be successful, a process essay must explain clearly each step of an activity.
The key to preparing to write such an essay is thinking through the activity as
though you’re doing it for the fi rst time. Selma is the author of “Dealing with Ver-
bal Abuse.” As she considered possible topics for her paper, she soon focused on
a situation in her own life: living with an abusive man. Selma had not known how
to change her situation. But with the help of a counselor, she realized there were
steps she could take—a process she could follow. She carried out that process and
fi nally left her abusive partner. Remembering this, Selma decided to write about
how to deal with abuse.
She began by making a list of the steps she followed in coping with her own
abusive relationship. This is what she wrote:
Tell him you won’t accept any more abuse.
Open your own chec king account.
App ly for credit cards in your own name.
Off er to go with him to counseling.
Realize you’re not to blame.
Learn to stand up for yourself.
Go into counseling yourself if he won’t do it.
Call the police if he ever bec omes violent.
Leave him if he refuses to change.
Next, she numbered the steps in the order in which she had performed them. She
crossed out some items she realized weren’t really part of the process of dealing
with verbal abuse.
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204 Part 2 Paragraph Development
2 Tell him you won’t accept any more abuse.
Open your own chec king account.
App ly for credit cards in your own name.
3 Off er to go with him to counseling.
1 Realize you’re not to blame.
5 Learn to stand up for yourself.
4 Go into counseling yourself if he won’t do it.
Call the police if he ever bec omes violent.
6 Leave him if he refuses to change.
Some people think that “abuse” has to mean gett ing punched and kicked, but
that’s not so. Verbal abuse can be as painful inside as physical abuse is on the outside.
It can make you feel worthless and sad. I know bec ause I lived with a verbally
abusive man for years. Finally I found the courage to deal with the situation. Here
is wh at I did. With the help of fr iends, I fi nally fi gured out that I wasn’t to blame. I
thought it was my fault bec ause that’s wh at he always told me—that if I wasn’t so
stupid, he wouldn’t criticize and insult me. When I told him I wanted him to stop
insulting and criticizing me, he just laughed at me and told me I was a crybaby. One
of my fr iends sugg es ted a counselor, and I asked Harr y to go talk to him with me.
We went toget her once but Harr y wouldn’t go back. He said he didn’t need anyone to
tell him how to treat his woman. I wasn’t that surprised bec ause Harr y grew up with
a father wh o treated his mot her like dirt and his mom just accepts it to this day.
Even aft er Harr y refused to go see the counselor, though, I kept going. Th e counselor
continued
Then Selma grouped her items into four steps. Those steps were (1) realize you’re
not to blame; (2) tell the abuser you won’t accept more abuse; (3) get into counsel-
ing, preferably with him; and (4) if necessary, leave him.
Selma was ready to write her fi rst draft. Here it is.
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When Selma reread her fi rst draft, she agreed with her classmate’s suggestions. She
then wrote the version of “Dealing with Verbal Abuse” that appears on pages 201–202.
helped me see that I couldn’t make Harr y change, but I was still fr ee to make my
own choices . If I didn’t want to live my life being Harr y’s verbal punching bag, and
if he didn’t want to change, then I would have to. I told Harr y that I wasn’t going
to live that way anymore. I told him if he wanted to work toget her on bett er ways to
communicate, I’d work with him. But ot herwise, I would leave. He gave me his usual
talk about “Oh, you know I don’t really mean half the stuff I say wh en I’m mad.” I
said that wasn’t a good enough ex cuse, and that I did mean wh at I was saying. He got
mad all over again and called me every name in the book. I stuck around for a litt le
wh ile aft er that but then realized “Th is is it. I can stay here and take this or I can
do wh at I know is right for me.” So I left . It was a really hard dec ision but it was the
right one. Harr y may be angry at me forever but I know now that his anger and his
verbal abuse are his problem, not mine.
In order for this to be a good process ess ay, I think you need to do a couple of things.
First, although the ess ay is based on wh at you went through, I think it’s too
much about your own ex perience. I’d sugg es t you take yourself out of it and just write
about how any person could deal with any verbally abusive situation. Otherwise this
paper is about you and Harr y, not the process .
Sec ond, you need a clear topic sentence that tells the reader wh at process you’re
going to ex plain.
Th ird, I’d use transitions like “fi rst” and “next ” to make the steps in the process clearer.
I think the steps are all there, but they get lost in all the det ails about you and Harr y.
Development through Revising After Selma had written her fi rst draft, she showed it to a classmate for her com-
ments. Here is what the classmate wrote in response:
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206 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Writing a Process Paragraph
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1 Choose one of the topics below to write about in a process paragraph.
How to feed a family on a budget
How to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend
How to keep your computer up-to-date and virus-free
How to change a car or bike tire
How to get rid of house or garden pests, such as mice, roaches, or wasps
How to play a simple game like checkers, tic-tac-toe, or an easy card game
How to shorten a skirt or pants
How to meet new people, for either dating or friendship
How to plant a garden
How to deal with a nosy person
How to fi x a leaky faucet, a clogged drain, or the like
How to make tomato sauce
How to study for an important exam
How to conduct a yard or garage sale
How to wash dishes effi ciently, clean a bathroom, or do laundry
PREWRITING a. Begin by freewriting on your topic for ten minutes. Do not worry about
spelling, grammar, organization, or other matters of form. Just write
whatever comes into your head regarding the topic. Keep writing for
more than ten minutes if ideas keep coming to you. This freewriting will
give you a base of raw material to draw from during the next phase of
your work on the paragraph. After freewriting, you should have a sense
of whether there is enough material available for you to write a process
paragraph about the topic. If so, continue as explained below. If there
is not enough material, choose another topic and freewrite about it for ten minutes.
b. Write a clear, direct topic sentence stating the process you are going to
describe. For instance, if you are going to describe a way to study for
major exams, your topic sentence might be “My study-skills instructor has
suggested a good way to study for major exams.” Or you can state in your
topic sentence the process and the number of steps involved: “My tech-
nique for changing a bike tire involves four main steps.”
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Quiet on stairs
Come in aft er Dad’s asleep
House is fr eezing at night
Bring key
Know wh ich steps to avoid
Lift up fr ont door
Late dances on Saturday night
Don’t turn on bathroom light
Avoid squeaky spot s on fl oor
Get into bed quiet ly
Quiet on stairs
2 Come in aft er Dad’s asleep
House is fr eezing at night
1 Bring key
5 Know wh ich steps to avoid
3 Lift up fr ont door
Late dances on Saturday night
6 Don’t turn on bathroom light
4 Avoid squeaky spot s on fl oor
8 Get into bed quiet ly
7 Undress quiet ly
d. Number your items in the order in which they occur; strike out items that
do not fi t in the list; add others that come to mind. The author of “Sneak-
ing into the House at Night” did this step as follows:
e. Use your list as a guide to write the fi rst draft of your paragraph. As you
write, try to think of additional details that will support your opening
c. List all the steps you can think of that may be included in the process.
Don’t worry, at this point, about how each step fi ts or whether two steps
overlap. Here, for example, is the list prepared by the author of “Sneaking
into the House at Night”:
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208 Part 2 Paragraph Development
sentence. Do not expect to fi nish your composition in one draft. After you
complete your fi rst rough draft, in fact, you should be ready to write a series
of drafts as you work toward the goals of unity, support, and coherence.
REVISING After you have written the fi rst draft of your paragraph, set it aside for a while
if you can. Then read it out loud, either to yourself or (better yet) to a friend or
classmate who will be honest with you about how it sounds. You (or you and your
friend) should keep these points in mind.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Process
ABOUT UNITY
An eff ective process composition describes a series of events in a way that
is clear and easy to follow. Are the steps in your paragraph described in a
clear, logical way?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Does your paragraph explain every necessary step so that a reader could
perform the task described?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have you used transitions such as fi rst, next, also, then, after, now, during,
and fi nally to make the paper move smoothly from one step to another?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Is the point of view consistent? For example, if you begin by writing “Th is
is how I got rid of mice” (fi rst person), do not switch to “You must buy the
right traps” (second person). Write this paragraph either from the fi rst-
person point of view (using I and we) or from the second-person point of
view (you)—do not jump back and forth from one to the other.
Have you corrected any sentence-skills mistakes that you noticed while read-
ing the paragraph out loud? Have you checked the composition for sentence
skills, including spelling, as listed on the inside back cover of this book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you and your reader can answer “yes” to each
of these questions.
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WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2 Write a paragraph about one of the following processes. For this assignment, you
will be working with more general topics than those in Writing Assignment 1. In
fact, many of the topics are so broad that entire books have been written about
them. A big part of your task, then, will be to narrow the topic down enough so that
it can be covered in one paragraph. Then you’ll have to invent your own steps for
the process. In addition, you’ll need to make decisions about how many steps to
include and the order in which to present them.
How to break a bad habit such as smoking, overeating, or excess drinking
How to improve a course you have taken
How to help someone you know to feel happy
How to be less concerned about yourself and more concerned about others
How to improve the place where you work
How to show appreciation to others
How to get someone to forgive you
How to be more “green”
How to make your life less hectic
How to be a good parent
How to fail at something (the paragraph written on this topic is intended
to be funny)
How to fl irt
PREWRITING a. Choose a topic that appeals to you. Then ask yourself, “How can I make
this broad, general topic narrow enough to be covered in a paragraph?”
A logical way to proceed would be to think of a particular time you have
gone through this process. For instance, if the general topic is “How to
decorate economically,” you might think about a time you decorated your
own apartment.
b. Write a topic sentence about the process you are going to describe. Your topic
sentence should clearly refl ect the narrowed-down topic you have chosen.
If you chose the topic described in step a, for example, your topic sentence could be “I made my fi rst apartment look nice without spending a fortune.”
c. Make a list of as many different items as you can think of that concern
your topic. Don’t worry about repeating yourself, about putting the items
in order, about whether details are major or minor, or about spelling.
Simply make a list of everything about your topic that occurs to you.
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210 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Bought prett y towels and used them as wall hangings
Trimmed overgrown shrubs in fr ont yard
Used old mayonnaise jars for vases to hold fl owers picked in the yard
Found an old oriental rug at a yard sale
Painted mismatched kitchen chairs in bright colors
Kept dishes washed and put away
Bought a slipcover for a batt ered couch
Used pink lightbulbs
Hung prett y colored sheet s over the windows
6 Bought prett y towels and used them as wall hangings
Trimmed overgrown shrubs in fr ont yard
7 Used old mayonnaise jars for vases to hold fl owers picked in the yard
4 Found an old oriental rug at a yard sale
2 Painted mismatched kitchen chairs in bright colors
Kept dishes washed and put away
1 Bought a slipcover for a batt ered couch
8 Used pink lightbulbs
5 Hung prett y colored sheet s over the windows
3 Built bookshelves out of cinder blocks and boards
d. Next, decide what order you will present your items in and number them.
(As in the example of “decorating an apartment,” there may not be an
order that the steps must be done in. If that is the case, you’ll need to make a decision about a sequence that makes sense, or that you followed your-
self.) As you number your items, strike out items that do not fi t in the list
and add others that you think of, like this:
Here, for instance, is a list of items generated by the student writing about
decorating her apartment on a budget:
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FOUR BASES Checklist: Process
ABOUT UNITY
Have I included a clear topic sentence that tells what process I will be
describing?
Is the rest of my paragraph on target in support of my topic sentence?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I included all the essential information so that anyone reading my
paper could follow the same process?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have I made the sequence of steps easy to follow by using transitions like
fi rst, second, then, next, during, and fi nally?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my paragraph?
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
Have I used concise wording?
Are my sentences varied?
Have I checked for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed on the inside
back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you can answer “yes” to each of these questions.
e. Referring to your list of steps, write the fi rst draft of your paper. Add ad-
ditional steps as they occur to you.
REVISING If you can, put your fi rst draft away for a day or so and then return to it. Read it
out loud to yourself or, better yet, to a friend who will give you honest feedback.
Here are questions to ask yourself as you read over your fi rst draft and the
drafts to follow.
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212 Part 2 Paragraph Development
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3 Write in detail about a person who provided help at an important time in your
life. State in the fi rst sentence who the person is, the person’s relationship to you
(friend, father, cousin, etc.), and the situation the person helped you with. For
example, “My grandmother’s support helped me greatly during the diffi cult time
when my parents were getting divorced” or “My grandmother guided me through
all the preparations necessary for my wedding.” Then provide specifi c examples
(the person’s words and actions) to show the process in which he or she helped you
get through the situation or prepare for the event.
To support the topic sentence in the fi rst example, you could say that your
grandmother called you every day, met with you once a week, or attended all of
your basketball games or drama performances to help you cope with the stress at
home. You might add that in particularly trying moments your grandmother took
you for long walks in the park, along the lake, or in other peaceful places, to en-
courage you and cheer you up with words of comfort and wisdom.
To support the topic sentence in the second example, you might enumerate
the specifi c steps in planning the wedding: going bridal shopping, meeting with
the minister, and making the major decisions leading up to your wedding. You
will want to include ways in which your grandmother’s guidance helped you dur-
ing each step. For example, you might show how her pragmatic approach helped
you save money in times when your emotions overtook logic and include specifi c
instances of this help.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4 Write a paragraph for a younger brother, sister, or other relative on the steps in-
volved in preparing for a successful interview. You can fi nd information on the
Internet, so do some research on the topic fi rst. Read at least three different Web
sites for information. Your reading will help you think about how to proceed.
Remember, however, that any information you take from another source, such as
a Web site, must be properly credited whether you write it word-for-word (quota-
tion) or in your own words (paraphrase).
After gathering information, note which steps seem to be repeated most often
or are stressed in the various sites you researched. Condense this information into
four or fi ve basic steps. Try to rewrite the steps in your own words (paraphrase),
but be sure to acknowledge where the information originated. For example, you
might write a statement such as, “According to numerous sources, including the
Wall Street Journal, an important fi rst step in the process is appearing well-mani- cured—dressing professionally, having clean and neatly trimmed hair, and keeping
breath mints handy.”
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WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5 Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this process paragraph, you will write with a specifi c purpose and for a specifi c
audience. You have two options.
OPTION 1 Imagine that you have a part-time job helping out in a day care center. The direc-
tor, who is pleased with your work and wants to give you more responsibility, has
put you in charge of a group activity (for example, an exercise session, an alphabet
lesson, or a valentine-making project). But before you actually begin the activity,
the director wants to see a summary of how you would go about it. What advance
preparation would be needed, and what exactly would you be doing throughout the
time of the project? Write a paragraph explaining the steps you would follow in
conducting the activity.
OPTION 2 Imagine you have been asked to write a letter or e-mail message to members of
your college’s next incoming class. Explain one thing that these future college stu-
dents can do to improve their chances of succeeding. For example, explain how to
take notes, how to study for an exam, or how to make use of the college’s tutoring
services.
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HOW DOES TERRORISM AFFECT DAILY LIFE? Write a paragraph in which you explain the effects of a signifi cant terrorist attack, like the one pictured here from the 2013 Boston Marathon, on the city in which the attack occurred and on the nation. Think about how such an event might affect daily life. What changes might it cause in the public’s acceptance of increased security vis-à-vis the right to privacy? How might it affect you personally?
HHHOOOWWW DDDOOOEEESSS TTTEEERRRRRROOORRRIIISSSMMM AAAFFFFFFEEECCCTTT DDDAAAIIILLLYYY LLLIIIFFFEEE???
This chapter will explain and illustrate how to
• develop a cause and/or effect paragraph
• write a cause and/ or effect paragraph
• revise a cause and/ or effect paragraph
In addition, you will read and evaluate
• three student cause and/or effect paragraphs
Cause and/or Eff ect C H A P T E R
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What caused Will to drop out of school? Why are reality TV shows so
popular? Why does our football team do so poorly each year? How has
retirement affected Mom? What effects does divorce have on children?
Every day we ask such questions and look for answers. We realize that sit-
uations have causes and also effects—good or bad. By examining causes
and effects, we seek to understand and explain things.
In this chapter, you will be asked to do some detective work by examin-
ing the causes or the effects of something. First read the three student para-
graphs that follow and answer the questions about them. All three paragraphs
support their opening points by explaining a series of causes and/or effects.
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
The Benefi ts of Exercise
1The effects of regular exercise can change a person’s life. 2First, walking or running three miles a day can burn about 250 calories. 3That adds up to a weight loss of about half a pound a week even without dieting! 4Over a year, about twenty-six pounds can be shed. 5Second, exercise helps the heart and circulatory system, thereby increasing the fl ow of oxygen and, in the long run, lessening the chances of contracting heart disease. 6Perhaps most signifi cantly, however, exercise releases endorphins, compounds produced by glands in the body, which help fi ght depression and improve one’s emotional health!
Treatment of American Indians
1Two major policies, the Indian Removal Act of 1830 and the Dawes Severalty Act of 1887, had profound and lasting effects on American Indians. 2In 1830, President Andrew Jackson signed the act that authorized the United States government to transfer eastern American Indians like the Cherokee into unclaimed western territories. 3After several years of court battles, what followed was one of the most heartbreaking events in early American history—The Trail of Tears. 4Thousands of Cherokee men, women, and children were forced to march over a thousand miles to Oklahoma. 5Estimates say that at least four thousand died on the journey. 6It is terrible that people had to suffer like this and it should not have been
continued
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216 Part 2 Paragraph Development
allowed to happen. 7Then, in 1887, the Dawes Act gave the United States government the right to divide reservation lands among individual American Indians and their families. 8In other words, it offered plots of land to those who were willing to sign a registry, anglicize their name, and renounce allegiance to their tribe. 9Reservations were broken up, tribes fought among themselves, and the unity that was central to tribes’ survival disappeared. 10Today, there are about three hundred reservations in the United States, but there are over fi ve hundred recognized tribes. 11Most reservations are located in the western portion of the United States in areas that often lack natural resources, and many have high rates of poverty and unemployment.
Why I Stopped Smoking
1For one thing, I realized that my cigarette smoke bothered others, irritating people’s eyes and causing them to cough and sneeze. 2They also had to put up with my stinking smoker’s breath. 3Also, cigarettes are a messy habit. 4Our house was littered with ashtrays piled high with butts, matchsticks, and ashes, and the children were always knocking them over. 5Cigarettes are expensive, and I estimated that the carton a week that I was smoking cost me about $2,000 a year. 6Another reason I stopped was that the message about cigarettes being harmful to health fi nally got through to me. 7I’d known they could hurt the smoker—in fact, a heavy smoker I know from work is in Eagleville Hospital now with lung cancer. 8But when I realized what secondhand smoke could do to my wife and children, causing them bronchial problems and even increasing their risk of cancer, it really bothered me. 9Cigarettes were also inconvenient. 10Whenever I smoked, I would have to drink something to wet my dry throat, and that meant I had to keep going to the bathroom all the time. 11I sometimes seemed to spend whole weekends doing nothing but smoking, drinking, and going to the bathroom. 12Most of all, I resolved to stop smoking because I felt exploited. 13I hated the thought of wealthy, greedy corporations making money off my sweat and blood. 14The rich may keep getting richer, but—at least as regards cigarettes—with no thanks to me.
ABOUT UNITY 1. Which sentence in “Treatment of American Indians” does not support the
opening idea and should be omitted?
2. Which of the above paragraphs lacks a topic sentence?
QUESTIONS
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ABOUT SUPPORT 3. How many separate causes are given in “Why I Stopped Smoking”?
four six seven eight
4. How many effects of regular exercise are discussed in “The Benefi ts of
Exercise”?
one two three four
ABOUT COHERENCE 5. Which sentences in “Treatment of American Indians” contain transition
words or phrases? (Write the sentence numbers here.)
6. In “The Benefi ts of Exercise,” what words signal the effect the author thinks
is most important?
Developing a Cause and/or Eff ect Paragraph Development through Prewriting In order to write a good cause and/or effect paragraph, you must clearly defi ne an
effect (what happened) and the contributing causes (why it happened). In addition, you will need to provide details that support the causes and effects you’re writing
about.
Jerome is the student author of “Why I Stopped Smoking.” As soon as the
topic occurred to him, he knew he had his effect (he had stopped smoking). His next task was to come up with a list of causes (reasons he had stopped). He decided to make a list of all the reasons for his quitting smoking that he could think of. This
is what he came up with:
Annoy ed ot hers
Mes sy
Bad for health
Expensive
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218 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Taking his list, Jerome then jotted down details that supported each of those
reasons:
Annoy ed ot hers
Bad breath
Irr itates ey es
Makes ot her people cough
People hate the smell
Mes sy
Ashtrays, ashes , butt s everywhere
Mess es up my car interior
Bad for health
Marco in hospital with lung cancer
Sec ondhand smoke dangerous to family
My morning cough
Expensive
Carton a week costs more than $2,000 a year
Tobacco companies gett ing rich off me
Jerome then had an effect and four causes with details to support them. On the
basis of this list, he wrote a fi rst draft.
My smoking annoy ed ot her people, making them cough and burning their ey es .
I bot hered them with my smoker’s breath. Nonsmokers usually hate the smell of
cigarett es and I got embarr ass ed wh en nonsmokers visited my house. I saw them
wrinkle their noses in disgust at the smell. It is a mes sy habit. My house was full of
loaded ashtrays that the kids were always knocking over. My car was mes sy too. A
guy fr om work, Marco, wh o has smoked for years, is in the hospital now with lung
continued
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Development through Revising The next day, Jerome traded fi rst drafts with his classmate Roger. This is what
Roger had to say about Jerome’s work.
cancer. It does n’t look as though he’s going to make it. Sec ondhand smoke is bad for
people too and I worr ied it would hurt my wife and kids. Also I realized I was
coughing once in a wh ile. Th e price of cigarett es keeps going up and I was spending
too much on smokes . When I see things in the paper about tobacco companies and
their huge profi ts it made me mad.
Th e bigg es t criticism I have is that you haven’t used many transitions to tie your
sentences toget her. Without them, the paragraph sounds like a list , not a unifi ed
piec e of writing.
Is one of your reasons more important than the ot hers? If so, it would be good if
you indicated that.
You could add a litt le more det ail in several places . For instance, how could
sec ondhand smoke hurt your family? And how much were you spending on
cigarett es ?
As Jerome read his own paper, he realized he wanted to add one more reason
to his paragraph: the inconvenience to himself. “Maybe it sounds silly to write
about always getting drinks and going to the bathroom, but that’s one of the ways
that smoking takes over your life that you never think about when you start,” he
said. Using Roger’s comments and his own new idea, he produced the paragraph
that appears on page 216.
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220 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Writing a Cause and/or Eff ect Paragraph
HAVE YOU EVER SHARED A ROOM WITH SOMEONE? BRAINSTORM A LIST OF THE benefi ts and the drawbacks. What advice would you give someone who was living with a roommate for the fi rst time?
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1 Choose one of the three topic sentences and brief outlines below. Each is made
up of three supporting points (causes or effects). Your task is to turn the topic sen-
tence and outline into a cause or effect paragraph.
OPTION 1 Topic sentence: There are several reasons why some high school graduates are un- able to read.
(1) Failure of parents (cause) (2) Failure of schools (cause) (3) Failure of students themselves (cause)
OPTION 2 Topic sentence: Living with roommates (or family) makes attending college diffi cult.
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(1) Late-night hours (cause) (2) More temptations (cause) (3) More distractions (cause)
OPTION 3 Topic sentence: Attending college has changed my personality in positive ways.
(1) More confi dent (effect) (2) More knowledgeable (effect) (3) More adventurous (effect)
PREWRITING a. After you’ve chosen the option that appeals to you most, jot down all
the details you can think of that might go under each of the supporting
points. Use a separate piece of paper for your lists. Don’t worry yet about
whether you can use all the items—your goal is to generate more material
than you need. Here, for example, are some of the details generated by
the author of “The Benefi ts of Exercise” to back up her supporting points:
Topic sentence: Th e eff ect s of regular ex ercise can change a person’s life.
1. Helps lose weight
a. Running/walking three miles can burn about 250 calories
b. Th is adds up to half a pound a week
c. Can lose about twenty-six pounds a year
d. Swimming or lift ing weights for an hour equally eff ect ive
2. Helps circulatory sy stem, lungs
a. Lowers heart rate
b. Increases oxygen fl ow
c. Less ens chances of developing heart disease
d. Increases lung capacity
3. Helps improve emot ional health
a. Makes for bett er sleep
b. Relieves tension
c. Releases endorphins, wh ich help fi ght depress ion
d. Improves emot ional outlook
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222 Part 2 Paragraph Development
b. Now go through the details you have generated and decide which are
most effective. Strike out the ones you decide are not worth using. Do
other details occur to you? If so, jot them down as well.
c. Now you are ready to write your paragraph. Begin the paragraph with the
topic sentence you chose. Make sure to develop each of the supporting
points from the outline into a complete sentence, and then back it up with
the best of the details you have generated.
REVISING Review your paragraph with these questions in mind.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Cause and/or Effect
ABOUT UNITY
Have I begun the paragraph with the topic sentence provided?
Are any sentences in my paragraph not directly relevant to this topic
sentence?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Is each supporting point stated in a complete sentence?
Have I provided eff ective details to back up each supporting point?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have I used transitions such as in addition, another thing, and also to make
relationships between the sentences clear?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I avoided wordiness?
Have I proofread the paragraph for sentence-skills errors, including spell-
ing, as listed on the inside back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Revise your paragraph until you are sure the answer to each question is “yes.”
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My car is dependable.
Th e price was reasonable.
I rec eived prompt action on a complaint.
Th e car is well-des igned.
Th e car dealer was hones t and fr iendly.
Th e car has needed litt le maintenance.
You are patient with me.
You are fair.
You have a great sense of humor.
You encourage me in several ways.
I know you have made sacrifi ces for me.
Reasons for admiring a parent might include these:
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2 Most of us fi nd it easy to criticize other people, but we may fi nd it harder to give
compliments. In this assignment, you will be asked to write a one-paragraph letter
praising someone. The letter may be to a person you know (for instance, a parent,
relative, or friend); to a public fi gure (an actor, politician, religious leader, sports
star, and so on); or to a company or an organization (for example, a newspaper,
a government agency, a store where you shop, or the manufacturer of a product
you own).
PREWRITING a. The fact that you are writing this letter indicates that its recipient has
had an effect on you: You like, admire, or appreciate the person or organization. Your job will be to put into words the causes, or reasons, for this good feeling. Begin by making a list of reasons for your
admiration. Here, for example, are a few reasons a person might praise
an automobile manufacturer:
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224 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Develop your own list of reasons for admiring the person or organization
you’ve chosen.
b. Now that you have a list of reasons, you need details to back up each
reason. Jot down as many supporting details as you can for each reason.
Here is what the writer of a letter to the car manufacturer might do:
My car is dependable.
Started during last winter’s coldes t days wh en neighbors’ cars
wouldn’t start
Has never stranded me anywhere
Th e price was reasonable.
Costs less than ot her cars in its class
Came standard with more options than ot her cars of the same price
I rec eived prompt action on a complaint.
When I complained about ratt le in door, manufacturer arr anged for a
part to be replaced at no charge
Th e car is well-des igned.
Controls are easy to reach
Dashboard gauges are easy to read
Th e car dealer was hones t and fr iendly.
No press ure, no fake “spec ial deal only today”
Th e car has needed litt le maintenance.
Haven’t done anything but regular tune-ups and oil changes
c. Next, select from your list the three or four reasons that you can best
support with effective details. These will make up the body of your
letter.
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d. For your topic sentence, make the positive statement you wish to support.
For example, the writer of the letter to the car manufacturer might begin
like this: “I am a very satisfi ed owner of a 2010 Accord.”
e. Now combine your topic sentence, reasons, and supporting details, and
write a draft of your letter.
REVISING If possible, put your letter aside for a day. Then read it aloud to a friend. As you
and he or she listen to your words, you should both keep these questions in mind.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Cause and/or Effect
ABOUT UNITY
Is the topic sentence a positive statement that is supported by the details?
Is the rest of my letter on target in support of my topic sentence?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Does the letter clearly state several diff erent reasons for liking and admir-
ing the person or organization?
Is each of those reasons supported with specifi c evidence?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Are the sentences linked with transitional words and phrases?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I avoided wordiness?
Are my sentences varied?
Have I checked for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed on the inside
back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you and your reader can answer “yes” to each
of these questions.
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226 Part 2 Paragraph Development
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4
Write a paragraph about a particular addic-
tion. You might write about someone you
know who is addicted to smoking, drinking,
shopping, playing video games, or surfi ng
the Internet. In your paragraph, discuss sev-
eral possible reasons for this addiction, or
several effects on the person’s life.
Here are some sample topic sentences
for such a paragraph:
My cousin is addicted to overeating,
and her addiction is harming her in
a number of ways.
There were at least three reasons why
I became addicted to cigarettes.
Although shopping can be a pleasant
activity, addictive shopping can be
destructive for several reasons.
Are you as good a writer as you want to be? Write a paragraph analyzing the reasons
you have become a good writer or explaining why you are not as good as you’d like to
be. Begin by considering some factors that may have infl uenced your writing ability.
Your family background: Did you see people writing at home? Did your parents respect and value the ability to write?
Your school experience: Did you have good writing teachers? Did you have a history of failure or success with writing? Was writing fun, or was it a
chore? Did your school emphasize writing?
Social infl uences: How did your school friends do at writing? What were your friends’ attitudes toward writing? What feelings about writing did you
pick up from TV or the movies?
You might want to organize your paragraph by describing the three greatest infl u-
ences on your skill (or your lack of skill) as a writer. Show how each of these has
contributed to the present state of your writing.
Here are some sample topic sentences for such a paragraph:
There are three main reasons I have been unsuccessful in my writing.
I am a strong writer because of my mother, my teachers, and my grandmother.
Since my friends all enjoyed writing, I began to learn to like it.
STUDY THE POSTER PICTURED HERE. What does it seem to suggest? How do the woman’s expression and clenched fi sts help you better understand the meaning of the poster?
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WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 6
Explore the reasons behind an event making news in your town or on your campus.
For example, you might want to focus on the causes of
A change in parking regulations or fees
An increase in tuition or student fees
The hiring of a new professor or dean
A local tax increase
The election of a local offi cial
The construction or closing of a public school
A change in school district boundaries
Research the reasons for the event by talking to school or local offi cials, reading
current newspapers, reading government or school district Web sites, watching
local newscasts, or consulting an Internet news source.
Decide on the major cause or causes of the event and their specifi c effects.
Then write a paragraph explaining in detail the causes and/or effects. To avoid
any possible plagiarism, you will want to properly credit your sources. Below is a
sample topic sentence for this assignment.
The fi fth accident in two months caused by drag racing in the college’s main parking lot has created serious concern among students, faculty, and staff, who are demanding that campus police patrol that area more frequently.
Notice that the sentence contains general words such as concern, demanding, and frequently, which can summarize specifi c supporting details. Support for fre- quently, for example, might include details about how often campus police cur- rently patrol the area and how often the campus community would like them to
do so.
Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this paragraph, you will write with a specifi c purpose and for a specifi c audi-
ence. Choose one of the following options.
OPTION 1 Assume that your boss has asked you to prepare a report about an issue that is affect-
ing your career fi eld. In your report, you should explain what has caused this issue.
For instance, nurses might be affected by a rise in workload because of a lack of
qualifi ed nurses, budget cuts, or an increase in patients. Or the health of city workers
could be compromised because of the need to work in old buildings with poor air
duct systems, mold problems, or poor heating.
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228 Part 2 Paragraph Development
OPTION 2 Alternatively, think about the effects that this issue might have on your career fi eld.
Write a report to your boss indicating what the impact of this issue will be on you.
For instance, nurses who have larger workloads may be suffering exhaustion that
could lead to mistakes made on the job. Or employees who are highly allergic to
mold could wind up missing multiple days of work, thus burdening other employees
who would need to cover their shifts.
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HOW DO EXPERIENCES COMPARE OR CONTRAST? Look at this photograph and write a paragraph in which you compare or contrast the experience of attending a sporting event in person versus that of viewing one on television. Be sure to note how spectators in the photo are acting. Use one or more examples from this photo to support your point.
HHHOOOWWW DDDOOO EEEXXXPPPEEERRRIIIEEENNNCCCEEESSS CCCOOOMMMPPPAAARRREEE OOORRR CCCOOONNNTTTRRRAAASSSTTT???
This chapter will explain and illustrate how to • develop a
comparison and/or contrast paragraph
• write a comparison and/or contrast paragraph
• revise a comparison and/or contrast paragraph
In addition, you will study and evaluate • three student
comparison and/or contrast paragraphs and three additional paragraphs
• two common methods of development in a comparison and/or contrast paragraph
Comparison and/or Contrast
C H A P T E R
Comparison and contrast are two everyday thought processes. When we
compare two things, we show how they are similar; when we contrast two things, we show how they are different. We might compare or contrast
two brand-name products (for example, Nike versus New Balance running
shoes), two television shows, two instructors, two jobs, two friends, or two
courses of action we could take in a given situation. The purpose of com-
paring or contrasting is to understand each of the two things more clearly
and, at times, to make judgments about them.
In this chapter, you will learn about two common methods of develop-
ing a comparison and/or contrast paragraph. First, read the two paragraphs
that follow and focus on the particular way each develops its points.
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230 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Landenburg: Then and Now
1Landenburg has changed for the better over the last ten years. 2Twenty years ago, the town experienced an economic downturn. 3The electrical supply factory, which employed more than fi ve hundred people, had just closed down. 4The hundred-year-old high school needed repair: Its roof leaked, the masonry was cracked, the heating system was undependable, and its outside walls were covered with graffi ti. 5The science labs contained only outdated or broken equipment. 6Students were using books that were very old, and pages were missing in some of them. 7Barker Avenue, the town’s main shopping area, contained several boarded-up storefronts, and most of the other stores advertised going-out-of-business sales. 8There were always plenty of parking spaces because fewer and fewer customers shopped there. 9It was as if an economic disease had attacked the heart of Landenburg. 10About ten years ago, however, things changed. 11The local economy got better. 12A manufacturer of automobile brake pads relocated in Landenburg, building a huge factory just outside of town. 13Then a restaurant supply factory moved in, and last year the state university broke ground for an extension campus two miles away. 14As a result, many new jobs have been created, and with increased tax revenues, the town was able to replace the old high school with one that has modern laboratories and offers students brand-new books. 15The new jobs have also boosted consumer confi dence. 16The downtown shopping area has several new stores and restaurants. 17A ten-screen movie complex just opened, and not one of the town’s commercial buildings is for rent. 18And because of the increased activity, downtown parking spaces are sometimes impossible to fi nd. 19The entire town seems to have gotten a lot healthier.
Day versus Evening Students
1As a part-time college student who has taken both day and evening courses, I have observed notable differences between day and evening students. 2 First of all, day and evening students differ greatly in age, styles, and interests. 3The students in my daytime classes are all about the same age, with similar clothing styles and similar interests. 4Most are in their late teens to early twenties, and whether male or female, they
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
continued
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pretty much dress alike. 5Their uniform consists of jeans, a T-shirt, running shoes, a baseball cap, and maybe a gold earring or two. 6They use the same popular slang, talk about the same movies and TV shows, and know the same musical artists. 7But students in my evening courses are much more diverse. 8Some are in their late teens, but most range from young married people in their twenties and thirties to people my grandparents’ age. 9Generally, their clothing is more formal than the day students’. 10They are dressed for the workplace, not for a typical college classroom. 11Many of the women wear skirts or dresses; the men often wear dress shirts or sweaters. 12And they are more comfortable talking about mortgages or work schedules or child care than about what was on TV last night. 13Day and evening students also have very different responsibilities. 14For day students, college and a part-time job are generally the only major responsibilities. 15They have plenty of time to study and get assignments done. 16However, evening students lead much more complicated lives than most day students. 17They may come to campus after putting in a nine-to-fi ve day at work. 18Most have children to raise or grandchildren to baby-sit for. 19When they miss a class or hand in an assignment late, it’s usually because of a real problem, such as a sick child or an important deadline at work. 20Finally, day and evening students defi nitely have different attitudes toward school. 21Day students often seem more interested in the view out the window or the cute classmate in the next row than in what the instructor is saying. 22They doze, draw cartoons, whisper, and write notes instead of paying attention. 23In contrast, evening students sit up straight, listen hard, and ask the instructor lots of questions. 24They obviously are there to learn, and they don’t want their time wasted. 25In short, day students and night students are as different as . . . day and night.
THE STUDENT WRITER OF “DAY versus Evening Students” uses the different appearances of day and evening students to support his or her argument. Looking at the woman pictured here, would you say she is a day or an evening student, or not a student at all? What generalizations do we often make about people based on their appearance? Are these generalizations fair? Write a paragraph in which you explore this topic.
Complete this comment: The difference in the methods of contrast in the two para- graphs is that
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232 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Compare your answer with the following explanation of the two methods of devel-
opment used in comparison and/or contrast paragraphs.
Two Common Methods of Development There are two common methods, or formats, of development in a comparison
and/or contrast paper. One format presents the details one side at a time. The other presents the details point by point. Each format is explained below.
One Side at a Time Look at the outline of “Landenburg: Then and Now”:
Topic sentence: Landenburg has changed for the bett er over the last ten years.
A. Landenburg 20 years ago (fi rst half of paragraph)
1. Economic downturn
2. Elect rical supp ly factory closes
3. More than 500 jobs lost
4. High school in disrepair, poorly equipp ed
5. Many downtown shops closed or closing
B. Landenburg today (sec ond half of paragraph)
1. Th ings change; local ec onomy bett er
2. New companies more in; state university building ext ension campus
3. New jobs created
4. New high school built—modern labs, new books
5. Revival of downtown shopp ing dist rict
When you use the one-side-at-a-time method, follow the same order of points of
contrast or comparison for each side, as in the outline above. For example, both
the fi rst half of the paper and the second half begin with the same idea: the state
of the economy. Then both sides go on to companies, jobs, the high school, and
so on.
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Point by Point Now look at the outline of “Day versus Evening Students”:
Topic sentence: Th ere are not able diff erences bet ween day and night students.
A. Age and related interes ts and tastes in clot hing
1. Youthful nature of day students
2. Older nature of evening students
B. Amount of res ponsibilities
1. Lighter res ponsibilities of day students
2. Heavier res ponsibilities of evening students
C. Att itude toward school
1. Casual att itude of day students
2. Serious att itude of evening students
The outline shows how the two kinds of students are contrasted point by point.
First, the writer contrasts the ages, clothing styles, and interests of daytime stu-
dents and evening students. Next, the writer contrasts the limited responsibilities
of the daytime students with the heavier responsibilities of the evening students.
Finally, the writer contrasts the casual attitude toward school of the daytime stu-
dents and the serious attitude of the evening students.
When you begin a comparison and/or contrast paper, you should decide right
away which format you are going to use: one side at a time or point by point. An
outline is an essential step in helping you decide which format will be more work-
able for your topic. Keep in mind, however, that an outline is just a guide, not a
permanent commitment. If you later feel that you’ve chosen the wrong format, you
can reshape your outline to the other format.
Complete the statements and the partial outline that follow.
1. The United States Congress: Two Branches
The United States Congress, the federal government’s law-making branch, is made up of two different bodies: the Senate and the House of Representatives. The Senate consists of one hundred members, two
continued
ACTIVITY 1
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234 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Topic sentence: The United States Congress, the federal government’s law- making branch, is made up of two different bodies: the Senate and the House of
Representatives.
a. The Senate
(1) Consists of 100 members
(2) Before 1913 was elected by state legislature; today is elected by citizens
(3) Senators serve six-year terms, one-third up for reelection every two
years
(4) VP is presiding offi cer
b. House of Representatives
(1) Consists of 435 members; each congressional district contains
(theoretically) about same number of people
(2) Members directly elected by citizens of district
(3) Members serve two-year terms, then must be reelected to continue
(4) Speaker of the House is presiding offi cer—elected by members of
House’s majority party.
c. Joint committee of House and Senate resolves differences in bills
Complete the following statement: Paragraph 1 uses the method
of development.
from each state. Until 1913, senators were elected by state legislatures, but the Seventeenth Amendment to the Constitution, approved in that year, now requires the direct election of senators by each state’s citizens. Senators serve six-year terms, and about one-third of the members are eligible for reelection every two years. The presiding offi cer of the Senate is the vice president of the United States. The House of Representatives has 435 members representing congressional districts across the United States. The boundaries of a congressional district are determined, theoretically at least, by the number of people residing in the district. Therefore, while New Jersey has twelve congressional districts, Wyoming, with a much smaller population, has only one. Members of the House serve for two-year terms, at the end of which all members must be reelected if they wish to continue. The presiding offi cer of this body is the Speaker of the House, who is elected by members of the majority party. Whenever the two branches pass different versions of a bill, a committee consisting of both representatives and senators meets to resolve the differences.
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2. Good and Bad Horror Movies
A good horror movie is easily distinguishable from a bad one. A good horror movie, fi rst of all, has both male and female victims. Both sexes suffer terrible fates at the hands of monsters and maniacs. Therefore, everyone in the audience has a chance to identify with the victim. Bad horror movies, on the other hand, tend to concentrate on women, especially half-dressed ones. These movies are obviously prejudiced against half the human race. Second, a good horror movie inspires compassion for its characters. For example, the audience will feel sympathy for the victims in the horror classics about the Wolfman, played by Lon Chaney Jr., and also for the Wolfman himself, who is shown to be a sad victim of fate. In contrast, a bad horror movie encourages feelings of aggression and violence in viewers. For instance, in the Halloween fi lms, the murders are seen from the murderer’s point of view. The effect is that the audience stalks the victims along with the killer and feels the same thrill he does. Finally, every good horror movie has a sense of humor. In Alien, as a crew member is coughing and choking just before the horrible thing bursts out of his chest, a colleague chides him, “The food ain’t that bad, man.” Humor provides relief from the horror and makes the characters more human. A bad horror movie, though, is humorless and boring. One murder is piled on top of another, and the characters are just cardboard fi gures. Bad horror movies may provide cheap thrills, but the good ones touch our emotions and live forever.
Topic sentence: A good horror movie is easily distinguished from a bad one.
a. Kinds of victims
(1)
(2)
b. Effect on audience
(1)
(2)
c. Tone
(1)
(2)
Complete the following statement: Paragraph 2 uses the method of development.
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236 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Evaluating Additional Paragraphs Read these additional paragraphs of comparison and/or contrast, and then answer
the questions that follow.
My Broken Dream
1When I became a police offi cer in my town, the job was not as I had dreamed it would be. 2I began to dream about being a police offi cer at about age ten. 3I could picture myself wearing a handsome blue uniform with an impressive-looking badge on my chest. 4I could also picture myself driving a powerful patrol car through town and seeing everyone stare at me with envy. 5But most of all, I dreamed of wearing a gun and using all the equipment that “TV cops” use. 6I knew everyone would be proud of me. 7I could almost hear the guys on the block saying, “Boy, Steve made it big. 8Did you hear he’s a cop?” 9I dreamed of leading an exciting life, solving big crimes, and meeting lots of people. 10I knew that if I became a cop, everyone in town would look up to me. 11However, when I actually did become a police offi cer, I soon found out that the reality was different. 12My fi rst disappointment came when I was sworn in and handed a well- used, baggy uniform. 13My disappointment continued when I was given a badge that looked like something pulled out of a cereal box. 14I was assigned a beat-up old junker and told that it would be my patrol car. 15It had a striking resemblance to a car that had lost in a demolition derby at a stock-car raceway. 16Disappointment seemed to continue. 17I soon found out that I was not the envy of all my friends. 18When I drove through town, they acted as if they had not seen me, despite the gun and nightstick at my side. 19I was told I was crazy doing this kind of job by people I thought would look up to me. 20My job was not as exciting as I had dreamed it would be, either. 21Instead of solving robberies and murders every day, I found that I spent a great deal of time comforting a local resident because a neighborhood dog had watered his favorite bush.
Two Views on Toys
1Children and adults have very different preferences. 2First, there is the matter of taste. 3Adults pride themselves on taste, while children ignore the matter of taste in favor of things that are fun. 4Adults, especially grandparents, pick out tasteful toys that go unused, while children love the cheap playthings advertised on television. 5Second, of course, there is the matter of money. 6The new games on the market today are a case
continued
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in point. 7Have you ever tried to lure a child away from some expensive game in order to get him or her to play with an old-fashioned game or toy? 8Finally, there is a difference between an adult’s and a child’s idea of what is educational. 9Adults, fi lled with memories of their own childhood, tend to be fond of the written word. 10Today’s children, on the other hand, concentrate on anything electronic. 11These things mean much more to them than to adults. 12Next holiday season, examine the toys that adults choose for children. 13Then look at the toys the children prefer. 14You will see the difference.
Ice Hockey and Soccer
1Like ice hockey, soccer is a game whose aim is scoring goals against the opposing team. 2Both are team sports in which the most important position is that of goaltender or goalie. 3This is the player who defends the team’s goal or net. 4Unlike ice hockey, which is played on an indoor ice rink or a frozen pond or lake, soccer is played outside on a grassy fi eld. 5In an ice hockey match, only six players from each team can be on the ice at one time. 6Ice hockey players wear a lot of protective equipment such as helmets, shin guards, and padded gloves. In a soccer match, each team fi elds eleven players. 7Both sports require a great deal of energy. 8Ice hockey players seem to be constantly in motion, and soccer players race up and down the fi eld almost nonstop. 9However, they wear little protective gear. 10Their uniforms consist of soccer shoes, socks, shorts, and jerseys.
ABOUT UNITY 1. Which paragraph lacks a topic sentence?
2. Which paragraph has a topic sentence that is too broad?
ABOUT SUPPORT 3. Which paragraph contains almost no specifi c details?
4. Which paragraph provides the most complete support?
QUESTIONS
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238 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Developing a Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph Development through Prewriting Molly, the author of “Landenburg: Then and Now,” had little trouble thinking of a
topic for her comparison or contrast paper.
“My instructor said, ‘You might compare or contrast two individuals, two
places, two situations, or the same place at different times’. I immediately thought
about the town in which I was born—the difference that ten years has made is
amazing.”
Because she is a person who likes to think visually, Molly started preparing for
her paragraph by clustering. She found this a helpful way to “see” the differences
between her hometown as it is now and as it was.
High school run down
Electrical supply factory
closes
Storefronts boarded up
500� jobs lost
Stores going out of
business
School labs out of date, poor
textbooks
LandenburgLandenburg in the Pastin the Past
New high school built
New companies
in town
State university
campus Many
new jobs
Downtown reviving–new stores,
restaurants
New science labs in HS, new
text books
LandenburgLandenburg NowNow
ABOUT COHERENCE 5. What method of development (one side at a time or point by point) is used
in “My Broken Dream”?
In “Two Views on Toys”?
6. Which paragraph offers specifi c details but lacks a clear, consistent method
of development?
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Taking a detail fi rst from the “Landenburg in the past” part of the diagram, then one
from the “Landenburg now” part, then another from the “Landenburg in the past” sec-
tion, and so on, Molly began to write her paragraph using the point-by-point method:
Landenburg has changed for the bett er over the last 10 years. Twenty years ago,
the town ex perienced an ec onomic downturn. Th e elect rical supp ly factory closed
down about 10 years ago. However, things changed wh en a maker of automobile
brake pads built a factory just outside of town. When the elect rical supp ly factory
closed, more than 500 people lost their jobs. Th e new company brought back many
of those jobs. In addition, there’s anot her new factory that manufactures res taurant
equipment, and it employ s about 150 additional people. Last year, the state university
broke ground for a new ext ension campus. When the ec onomy was bad, there was
litt le money to spend on education, and the old high school was in disrepair. Th e
science labs were outdated, and the text books were old and falling apart.
Molly stopped here because she wasn’t satisfi ed with the way the paragraph
was developing. “I wanted the reader to picture the way Landenburg had been years
ago without interrupting that picture with a description of what it’s like today. So I
decided to try the one-side-at-a time approach, instead.” Here is Molly’s next draft:
Landenburg: Th en and Now
Landenburg has changed for the bett er over the last ten years. Twenty years ago, the
town ex perienced an ec onomic downturn. Th e elect rical supp ly factory had just closed
down. Th e old high school needed repair. I remember my grandmot her telling me that
she had graduated fr om Landenburg High School and that she had met my grandfather
there in an algebra class . Th e high school’s outside walls were covered with graffi ti.
Students used books that were very old. Barker Avenue, the town ’s main shopp ing area,
looked like a ghost town. It was as if an ec onomic disease had att acked Landenburg.
About ten years ago, however, things changed. A manufacturer of automobile brake pads
dec ided to relocate in Landenburg, and it built a huge factory just outside of town. I
continued
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240 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Development through Revising Molly’s instructor reviewed her fi rst draft. Here are his comments:
All of this is very interes ting, but some of your det ails are out of order—for
ex ample, you mention the opening of the res taurant-equipment plant and the work on
the state university’s ext ension campus aft er discuss ing the creation of new jobs and the
boost in consumer confi dence. Shouldn’t the order be reversed? Aft er all, the new plant
and the new college campus are among the reasons that the local ec onomy is gett ing bett er.
More des criptive det ails are needed! For instance, you say that the downtown
area once “looked like a ghost town.” Exactly wh at does a ghost town look like?
Des cribe wh at you saw there. Also, wh at do you mean by “the old high school needed
repair”? How old was it, and wh at kind of repairs did it need?
You include some unnec ess ary information; for ex ample, the det ails about your
grandmot her and grandfather meet ing in a high school algebra class and those that
have to do with your work at the brake-pad factory. Everything in your paragraph
should supp ort your topic sentence.
worked there one summer and made enough to pay for half of my college tuition that
year. It was hard, dirty work, and there was no air conditioning. So on really hot days,
I was miserable. As a res ult of this new factory, however, many new jobs have replaced
those lost wh en the elect rical supp ly factory closed, and with increased tax revenues , the
town was able to replace the old high school. Th e entire town seems to have gott en a lot
healthier. Th e new jobs have also boost ed consumer confi dence. Th e downtown shopp ing
area is busier than ever. A ten-screen movie complex just opened. A res taurant supp ly
factory dec ided to move in, and last year the state university broke ground for an
ext ension campus two miles away. Th es e events have also helped build confi dence.
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Following her instructor’s suggestions (and remembering a few more details she
wanted to include), Molly wrote the version of her paragraph that appears on page 230.
Writing a Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1 Write a comparison and/or contrast paragraph on one of the topics listed below.
Alternately, select one of the photos below and write a comparison and/or contrast
paragraph about the items or persons depicted.
Two cars
Two cartoon strips
Two coworkers
Two drivers
Two homes
Two courses you’ve taken
Two members of a family
Two periods in your life
Two pets
Two places you would like to live
Two singers or groups
Two teachers
Two teams
Two types of diets
Two jobs you have held
Two ways of using technology for
communication
Two vacations you’ve taken
PREWRITING a. Choose your topic, the two subjects you will write about.
b. Decide whether your paragraph will compare the two subjects (discuss their similarities), contrast them (discuss their differences), or use a combination (discuss both similarities and differences). For example, you
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242 Part 2 Paragraph Development
f. Under each of your supporting points, jot down as many details as occur
to you. Don’t worry yet about whether the details all fi t perfectly or
whether you will be able to use them all. Your goal is to generate a wealth
of material to draw on. An example:
Topic sentence: My job in a car-parts factory was very diff erent fr om my job as a
rec eptionist .
1. Th e jobs diff ered in physical sett ing.
2. Th e jobs diff ered in the skills they required.
3. Th e jobs diff ered in the people they brought me into contact with.
might write about how a musical group you enjoy differs from a musical
group you dislike. You might discuss both important differences and
basic similarities between two employers you have had or describe the
similarities between two homes you’ve lived in. Or you might contrast a
job you’ve had in a car factory with a job you’ve had as a receptionist.
c. Write a direct topic sentence for your paragraph. Here’s an example: “My job
in a car-parts factory was very different from my job as a receptionist.”
d. Come up with at least three strong points to support your topic sentence. If
you are contrasting two jobs, for example, your points might be that they
differed greatly (1) in their physical setting, (2) in the skills they required,
and (3) in the people they brought you into contact with.
e. Use your topic sentence and supporting points to create a scratch outline
for your paragraph. For the paragraph about jobs, the outline would look
like this:
Topic sentence: My job in a car-parts factory was very diff erent fr om my job as a
rec eptionist .
1. Th e jobs diff ered in physical sett ing.
Factory loud and dirty
Offi ce clean and quiet
Factory full of machines , hunks of met al, tools
continued
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Offi ce full of desks, fi les , computers
Factory smelled of mot or oil
Offi ce smelled of new carpet
Windows in factory too high and grimy to look out of
Offi ce had clean windows onto street
2. Th e jobs diff ered in the skills and behavior they required.
Factory required physical strength
Offi ce required mental activity
Didn’t need to be polite in factory
Had to be polite in offi ce
Didn’t need to think much for self in factory
Constantly had to make dec isions in offi ce
3. Th e jobs diff ered in the people they brought me into contact with.
In factory, worked with same crew every day
In offi ce, saw constant stream of new customers
Most coworkers in factory had high-school education or less
Many coworkers and clients in offi ce well educated
Coworkers in factory spoke variet y of languages
Rarely heard anything but English in offi ce
g. Decide which format you will use to develop your paragraph: one side
at a time or point by point. Either is acceptable; it is up to you to decide
which you prefer. The important thing is to be consistent: whichever
format you choose, be sure to use it throughout the entire paragraph.
h. Write the fi rst draft of your paragraph.
REVISING Put your writing away for a day or so. You will return to it with a fresh perspective
and a better ability to critique what you have done.
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244 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Reread your work with these questions in mind.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Comparison and/or Contrast
ABOUT UNITY
Does my topic sentence make it clear what two things I am comparing or
contrasting?
Do all sentences in the paragraph stay on-topic?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I compared or contrasted the subjects in at least three important
ways?
Have I provided specifi c details that eff ectively back up my supporting
points?
ABOUT COHERENCE
If I have chosen the point-by-point format, have I consistently discussed a
point about one subject, then immediately discussed the same point about
the other subject before moving on to the next point?
If I have chosen the one-side-at-a-time format, have I discussed every
point about one of my subjects, then discussed the same points in the same
order about the second subject?
Have I used appropriate transitions, such as fi rst, in addition, also, and
another way, to help readers follow my train of thought?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I carefully proofread my paragraph, using the list on the inside back
cover of the book, and corrected all sentence-skills mistakes, including
spelling?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you can answer “yes” to each of these
questions.
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Topic sentence: In my perfect world, my life would be quite diff erent in the areas of
work, money , and housing.
1. Work
a. Real-life work
b. Perfect -world work
continued
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2 Write a paragraph in which you compare or contrast your life in the real world
with your life in an imagined “perfect world.” Your paragraph may be humorous
or serious.
PREWRITING a. As your “real life” and “ideal life” are too broad for a paragraph, choose
three specifi c areas to focus on. You might select any of the areas below,
or think of a specifi c area yourself.
work friends
money possessions
romance housing
physical location talents
personal appearance
b. Write the name of one of your three areas (for example, “work”) across
the top of a page. Divide the page into two columns. Label one column
“real world” and the other “perfect world.” Under “real world,” write
down as many details as you can think of describing your real-life work
situation. Under “perfect world,” write down details describing what your
perfect work life would be like. Repeat the process on separate pages for
your other two major areas.
c. Write a topic sentence for your paragraph. Here’s an example: “In my
perfect world, my life would be quite different in the areas of work,
money, and housing.”
d. Decide which approach you will take: one side at a time or point by
point.
e. Write a scratch outline that refl ects the format you have selected. The
outline for a point-by-point format would look like this:
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246 Part 2 Paragraph Development
2. Money
a. Real-life money
b. Perfect -world money
3. Housing
a. Real-life housing
b. Perfect -world housing
The outline for a one-side-at-a-time format would look like this:
Topic sentence: In my perfect world, my life would be quite diff erent in the areas of
work, money , and housing.
1. Real life
a. Work
b. Money
c. Housing
2. Perfect world
a. Work
b. Money
c. Housing
f. Drawing from the three pages of details you generated in step b, complete your outline by jotting down your strongest supporting details
for each point.
g. Write the fi rst draft of your paragraph.
REVISING Reread your paragraph, and then show it to a friend who will give you honest feed-
back. You should both review it with these questions in mind.
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Continue revising your work until you and your reader can answer “yes” to each
of these questions.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Comparison and/or Contrast
ABOUT UNITY
Does the topic sentence make it clear what three areas of life are being
compared or contrasted?
Is the rest of my paragraph on target in support of my topic sentence?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Does the paragraph provide specifi c details that describe both the “real-life”
situation and the “perfect-world” situation?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Does the paragraph follow a consistent format: point by point or one side
at a time?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my paragraph?
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
Have I avoided wordiness?
Are my sentences varied?
Have I checked for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed on the inside
back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3 Write a contrast paragraph on one of the topics below.
• Shopping at a brick-and-mortar store versus online shopping
• A favorite holiday and a holiday you don’t like
• A positive way of handling a problem versus a negative way of handling
a problem
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248 Part 2 Paragraph Development
• A parent who works outside of the home versus a parent who works in the
home
• News in a newspaper versus news on television or the Internet
• The hero and the villain in a movie, TV show, or novel
• The neighborhood you live in and the neighborhood you want to live in
• A supportive boss and a non-supportive boss
• A job you loved and a job you hated
• Your parents’ beliefs and values versus your beliefs and values
Follow the directions for prewriting and rewriting given in Writing Assignment 2.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5
Write a paragraph in which you compare and/or contrast two famous portraits at
the National Portrait Gallery.
a. Go to www.npg.si.edu
b. In the search box, type in a famous person like Albert Einstein.
c. Take notes on the similarities and differences of the two portraits you
choose. For instance, a search for Albert Einstein will bring up numerous
paintings, photos, and drawings, each of which will share commonalities
while at the same time exhibit differences.
d. Create a topic sentence like the sample ones below:
The extremely realistic etching by Julius C. Turner provides a very different image from the oil painting by Josef Scharl. The photos by Philippe Halsman and Fred Stein share similar qualities.
After you have done your research, follow the directions for prewriting and rewrit-
ing given in Writing Assignment 2.
Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this comparison and contrast paragraph, you will write with a specifi c purpose
and for a specifi c audience. Imagine that you are living in an apartment building in
which new tenants are making life unpleasant for you and the others who live on
your fl oor. Write a letter of complaint to your landlord comparing and contrasting life before and after the tenants arrived.
Your purpose is to get your landlord to do something about the problem or
problems created by the new tenants. To achieve this purpose, use as many specifi c
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and convincing details as you can. For example, don’t just write that your neigh-
bors have lots of parties. Instead, say that guests come and go until 2 or 3 A.M. or
that the music is so loud it shakes the walls and keeps you up all night.
Your audience—the landlord—has an interest in keeping all tenants happy. So be sure to stress how all of the residents on your fl oor have been complaining about
the newcomers.
You might want to focus on one or more of the following:
Noise Parking situation
Trash Damage to the building
Safety hazards Police have been called during parties
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This chapter will explain and illustrate how to
• develop a defi nition paragraph
• write a defi nition paragraph
• revise a defi nition paragraph
In addition, you will read and evaluate
• three student defi nition paragraphs
Defi nition C H A P T E R
HOW DO YOU DEFINE A QUALITY? What are some words that come to mind as you look at this photograph? Write a paragraph in which you defi ne one of these terms. For example, you may look at the photograph and think “challenge,” “frustration,” “obstacle,” or “courage.”
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In talking with other people, we sometimes offer informal defi nitions to
explain just what we mean by a particular term. Suppose, for example,
we say to a friend, “Karen can be so clingy.” We might then expand on
our idea of “clingy” by saying, “You know, a clingy person needs to be
with someone every single minute. If Karen’s best friend makes plans
that don’t include her, she becomes hurt. And when she dates someone,
she calls him several times a day and gets upset if he even goes to the
grocery store without her. She hangs on to people too tightly.” In a writ-
ten defi nition, we make clear in a more complete and formal way our own
personal understanding of a term. Such a defi nition typically starts with
one meaning of a term. The meaning is then illustrated with a series of
examples or a story.
The simplest way to state the meaning of a word is to follow the lead
of scientists, who fi rst classify an animal or plant by general category or
class (genus) and then by the specifi c characteristics of the animal or plant (species). Thus you could say that a dog is a mammal (general category) that has four legs, a tail, and an ability to bark (specifi c characteristics).
In one of the paragraphs that follow, the writer begins by defi ning hypno- therapy as a “medical treatment” (general category). The defi nition then explains that this treatment is used “while the patient is hypnotized” (spe-
cifi c characteristic).
After discussing the meaning of a term, provide as many examples and
details as you can to clarify your point. In the paragraph entitled “The Lib-
eral Arts,” which follows, the writer gives several examples of the types of
subjects included in the liberal arts. In “Hypnotherapy” the writer supplies
a few examples of the uses of this medical practice.
To continue developing your defi nition, you might consider defi n-
ing by contrast. That means telling your reader what the term does not mean or distinguishing it from other terms with which it is sometimes
confused. For example, the writer of “Hypnotherapy” contrasts that term
with mesmerism. The author of “The Liberal Arts” contrasts the liberal arts course of study with vocational, professional, and technical courses
of study.
In this chapter, you will be asked to write a paragraph that begins
with a one-sentence defi nition; that sentence will be the topic sentence. To
prepare for this assignment, fi rst read the three student papers that follow.
They are all examples of defi nition paragraphs. Then answer the accom-
panying questions.
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252 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Disillusionment
1Disillusionment is the feeling we have when one of our most cherished beliefs is stolen from us. 2I learned about disillusionment fi rsthand the day Mr. Keller, our eighth-grade teacher, handed out the grades for our class biology projects. 3I had worked hard to assemble what I thought was the best insect collection any school had ever seen. 4For weeks, I had set up homemade traps around our house, in the woods, and in vacant lots. 5At night, I would stretch a white sheet between two trees, shine a lantern on it, and collect the night-fl ying insects that gathered there. 6With my own money, I had bought killing jars, insect pins, gummed labels, and display boxes. 7I carefully arranged related insects together, with labels listing each scientifi c name and the place and date of capture. 8Slowly and painfully, I wrote and typed the report that accompanied my project at the school science fair. 9In contrast, my friend Eddie did almost nothing for his project.
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
Hypnotherapy
1Hypnotherapy is a medical treatment that is used while the patient is hypnotized. 2The word hypnosis comes from the Greek word hypnos, which means “sleep.” 3Under hypnosis, the patient is very susceptible to suggestions from the doctor, who uses these suggestions to aid in the treatment. 4The British surgeon James Braid used this method during minor operations to lessen the patient’s discomfort. 5Today, it is used to treat insomnia, depression, and emotional problems. 6Hypnotherapy has been used to ease a pregnant woman’s anxiety, even during childbirth. 7Mesmerism, founded by Franz Anton Mesmer, is often confused with hypnotism and therefore with hypnotherapy. 8Mesmer studied medicine at the University of Vienna, but he was also an astrologer. 9However, mesmerism has been discredited as a therapy by the medical profession. 10Unlike hypnotherapy, the theory behind mesmerism is that every individual has magnetic fl uid fl owing through his or her body. 11This fl uid is supposed to be susceptible to blockages, thus causing physical or emotional ailments. 12Mesmer’s claim that he could use a force called “animal magnetism” to probe a subject’s unconscious through this fl uid was proven false by Braid and those who followed him. 13Although many people misunderstand hypnotherapy because of false theories like mesmerism, hypnotherapy is an accepted and widely used treatment.
continued
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10He had his father, a psychologist, build an impressive maze complete with live rats and a sign that read, “You are the trainer.” 11A person could lift a little plastic door, send a rat running through the maze, and then hit a button to release a pellet of rat food as a reward. 12This exhibit turned out to be the most popular one at the fair. 13I felt sure that our teacher would know that Eddie could not have built it, and I was certain that my hard work would be recognized and rewarded. 14Then the grades were fi nally handed out, and I was crushed. 15Eddie had gotten an A plus, but my grade was a B. 16I suddenly realized that honesty and hard work don’t always pay off in the end. 17The idea that life is not fair, that sometimes it pays to cheat, hit me with such force that I felt sick. 18I will never forget that moment.
The Liberal Arts
1Most colleges offer at least some liberal arts classes. 2The vast majority, in fact, offer liberal arts courses of study. 3These are unlike professional, vocational, or technical courses of study, which focus on specifi c skills or on areas that prepare students for certain specifi c occupations. 4Instead, the liberal arts tend to be wider in scope and to provide all students—not just those majoring in a liberal arts subject— with the general knowledge they will need to be well-rounded members of the community. 5The liberal arts, which are often grouped with the natural sciences, include communication, literature, history, language, the social sciences, philosophy, and mathematics. 6In addition to teaching an accepted body of knowledge, liberal arts classes also teach students the kinds of skills they will need to continue learning on their own after they graduate. 7For example, many courses in literature, history, and philosophy require critical reading, research, and writing. 8The term liberal comes from the Latin word liber, meaning “free,” for when the liberal arts were taught in antiquity they were intended for free men. 9Training in specifi c skills, on the other hand, was reserved for slaves. 10The liberal arts are also called the humanities, because they aim at helping people become more civilized, that is, more human.
ABOUT UNITY 1. Which paragraph places its topic sentence within the paragraph rather than,
more appropriately, at the beginning?
2. Which sentence in “Hypnotherapy” should be omitted in the interest of para-
graph unity? (Write the sentence number here.)
QUESTIONS
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254 Part 2 Paragraph Development
ABOUT SUPPORT 3. Which paragraph develops its defi nition through examples?
4. Which paragraph develops its defi nition through a single extended example?
ABOUT COHERENCE 5. Which paragraph uses emphatic order, saving the best detail for last?
6. Which paragraph uses time order to organize its details?
Developing a Defi nition Paragraph Development through Prewriting When Harry, the author of “Disillusionment,” started working on his assignment,
he did not know what he wanted to write about. He looked around the house for in-
spiration. His two-year-old twins racing around the room made him think about de-
fi ning “energy.” The fat cat asleep on a sunny windowsill suggested that he might
write about “laziness” or “relaxation.” Still not sure of a topic, he looked over his
notes from that day’s class. His instructor had jotted a list of terms on the black-
board, saying, “Maybe you could focus on what one of these words has meant in
your own life.” Harry looked over the words he had copied down: honesty, will- power, faith, betrayal, disillusionment. “When I got to the word ‘disillusionment,’ the eighth-grade science fair fl ashed into my mind,” Harry said. “That was a bitter
experience that defi nitely taught me what disillusionment was all about.”
Because the science fair had occurred many years before, Harry had to work to
remember it well. He decided to try the technique of questioning himself to come
up with the details of what had happened. Here are the questions Harry asked him-
self and the answers he wrote:
When did I learn about disillusionment?
When I was in eighth grade
Where did it happ en?
At the school science fair
continued
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Drawing from the ideas generated by his self-questioning, Harry wrote the
following draft of his paragraph:
Who was involved?
Me, Eddie Loomis and his father, and Mr. Keller
What happ ened?
I had worked very hard on my insect collect ion. Eddie had done almost not hing
but he had a rat maze that his father had built. I got a B on my project wh ile Eddie
got an A+.
Why was the ex perience so disillusioning?
I thought my hard work would be rewarded. I was sure Mr. Keller would rec ognize
that I had put far more eff ort into my project than Eddie had. When Eddie won, I
learned that cheating can pay off and that hones t work isn’t always rewarded.
How did I react?
I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to confr ont Mr. Keller and Eddie and make them
see how unfair the grades were. But I knew I’d just look like a poor loser, so I didn’t do
anything.
On the basis of this ex perience, how would I defi ne disillusionment?
It’s fi nding out that somet hing you really believed in isn’t true.
Disillusionment is fi nding out that one of your most important beliefs isn’t
true. I learned about disillusionment at my eighth-grade science fair. I had worked
very hard on my project , an insect collect ion. I was sure it would get an A. I had
worked so hard on it, even spending nights outside making sure it was very good. My
fr iend Eddie also did a project , but he barely worked on his at all. Instead, he had his
continued
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256 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Development through Revising The next day, Harry’s instructor divided the class into groups of three. The groups
reviewed each member’s paragraph. Harry was grouped with Curtis and Jocelyn.
After reading through Harry’s paper several times, the group had the following
discussion:
“My fi rst reaction is that I want to know more about your project,” said Jocelyn. “You give details about Eddie’s, but not many about your own. What was so good about it? You need to show us, not just tell us. Also, you said that you worked very hard, but you didn’t show us how hard.” “Yeah,” said Harry. “I remember my project clearly, but I guess the reader has to know what it was like and how much effort went into it.” Curtis said, “I like your topic sentence, but when I fi nished the paragraph I wasn’t sure what ‘important belief’ you’d learned wasn’t true. What would you say that belief was?” Harry thought a minute. “I’d believed that honest hard work would always be rewarded. I found out that it doesn’t always happen that way, and that cheating can actually win.” Curtis nodded. “I think you need to include that in your paper.” Jocelyn added, “I’d like to read how you felt or reacted after you saw your grade, too. If you don’t explain that, the paragraph ends sort of abruptly.”
Harry agreed with his classmates’ suggestions. After he had gone through sev-
eral revisions, he produced the version that appears on pages 252–253.
father build a maze for a rat to run through. Th e trainer lift ed a litt le plastic door
to let the rat into the maze, and if it complet ed the maze, the trainer could release
a pellet of food for it to eat. It was a nice project , but the point is that Eddie hadn’t
made it. He just made things like the banner that hung over it. Mr. Keller was our
science teacher. He gave Eddie an A+ and me just a B. So that really taught me about
disillusionment.
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Write a paragraph that defi nes the term TV addict. Base your paragraph on the topic sentence and three supporting points provided below.
Topic sentence: Television addicts are people who will watch all the
programs they can, for as long as they
can, without doing anything else.
(1) TV addicts, fi rst of all, will
watch anything on the tube, no
matter how bad it is. . . .
(2) In addition, addicts watch more
hours of TV than normal people
do. . . .
(3) Finally, addicts feel that TV is
more important than other people
or any other activities that might be
going on. . . .
PREWRITING a. Generate as many examples as you can for each of the three qualities of a
TV addict. You can do this by asking yourself the following questions:
• What are some truly awful shows that I (or TV addicts I know) watch
just because the television is turned on?
• What are some examples of the large amounts of time that I (or TV
addicts I know) watch television?
• What are some examples of ways that I (or TV addicts I know) neglect
people or give up activities in order to watch TV?
Write down every answer you can think of for each question. At this
point, don’t worry about writing full sentences or even about grammar or
spelling. Just get your thoughts down on paper.
b. Look over the list of examples you have generated. Select the strongest
examples you have thought of. You should have at least two or three for
each quality. If not, ask yourself the questions in step a again.
Writing a Defi nition Paragraph
JOT DOWN SOME IDEAS ABOUT HOW TO AVOID the time trap of mindless TV surfi ng.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1
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258 Part 2 Paragraph Development
c. Write out the examples you will use, this time expressing them in full,
grammatically correct sentences.
d. Start with the topic sentence and three points provided in the assignment.
Fill in the examples you’ve generated to support each point and write a
fi rst draft of your paragraph.
REVISING Put your fi rst draft away for a day or so. When you come back to it, reread it criti-
cally, asking yourself these questions.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Defi nition
ABOUT UNITY
Have I used the topic sentence and the three supporting points that were
provided?
Does every sentence in my paragraph help defi ne the term TV addict?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I backed up each supporting point with at least two examples?
Does each of my examples truly illustrate the point that it backs up?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have I used appropriate transitional language (another, in addition, for
example) to tie my thoughts together?
Are all the transitional words correctly used?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I carefully proofread my paragraph, using the list on the inside back
cover of the book, and corrected all sentence-skills mistakes, including
spelling?
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my paragraph?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Keep revising your paragraph until you can answer “yes” to each question.
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Write a paragraph that defi nes one of the following terms. Each term refers to a
certain kind of person.
Artist
Beauty
Brainiac
Charmer
Chocoholic
Compliment-seeker
Con-artist
Control freak
Coward
PREWRITING a. Write a topic sentence for your defi nition paragraph. This is a two-part process:
• First, place the term in a class, or category. For example, if you are writing about a certain kind of person, the general category is person. If you are describing a type of friend, the general category is friend.
• Second, describe what you consider the special feature or features that set your term apart from other members of its class. For instance, say
what kind of person you are writing about or what type of friend.
In the following topic sentence, try to identify three things: the term
being defi ned, the class it belongs to, and the special feature that sets the
term apart from other members of the class.
A chocoholic is a person who craves chocolate.
The term being defi ned is chocoholic. The category it belongs to is person. The words that set chocoholic apart from any other person are craves chocolate. Below is another example of a topic sentence for this assignment. It is
a defi nition of whiner. The class, or category, is underlined: A whiner is a type of person. The words that set the term whiner apart from other mem- bers of the class are double-underlined.
A whiner is a person who feels wronged by life.
In the following sample topic sentences, underline the class and dou-
ble-underline the special features.
A shopaholic is a person who needs new clothes to be happy.
The class clown is a student who gets attention through silly behavior.
A worrywart is a person who sees danger everywhere.
b. Develop your defi nition by using one of the following methods:
Examples. Give several examples that support your topic sentence.
Darwin Award winner
Fair-weather friend
Feminist
Flirt
Friend-padder
Geek
Genius
Good neighbor
Good sport
Idealist
Intellect
Introvert
Know-it-all
Leader
Manipulator
Optimist
Pack rat
Pessimist
Philanthropist
Procrastinator
Pushover
Romantic
Self-promoter
Showoff
Slacker
Snob
Workaholic
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2
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260 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Extended example. Use one longer example to support your topic sentence. Contrast. Support your topic sentence by contrasting what your term is with what it is not. For instance, you may want to defi ne a fair-weather friend by contrasting his or her actions with those of a true friend.
c. Once you have created a topic sentence and decided how to develop your
paragraph, make a scratch outline. If you are using a contrast method of
development, remember to present the details one side at a time or point
by point (see pages 232–233).
d. Write a fi rst draft of your paragraph.
REVISING As you revise your paragraph, keep these questions in mind.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Defi nition
ABOUT UNITY
Does my topic sentence (1) place my term in a class and (2) name some
special features that set it apart from its class?
Is the rest of my paragraph on target in support of my topic sentence?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I made a clear choice to develop my topic sentence through several
examples, or one extended example, or contrast?
ABOUT COHERENCE
If I have chosen to illustrate my topic through contrast, have I consistently
followed either a point-by-point or a one-side-at-a-time format?
Have I used appropriate transitions (another, in addition, in contrast, for ex-
ample) to tie my thoughts together?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my paragraph?
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
Have I avoided wordiness?
Are my sentences varied?
Have I checked for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed on the inside
back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you can answer “yes” to each of these questions.
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Floor-Cleaning Freak
My family considers me a fl oor-cleaning freak. I use my DustBuster to snap up crumbs seconds after they fall. When a rubber heel mark appears on my vinyl fl oor, I run for the steel wool. As I work in my kitchen preparing meals, I constantly scan the tiles, looking for spots where some liquid has been spilled or for a crumb that has somehow miraculously escaped my vision. After I scrub and wax my fl oors, I stand to one side of the room and try to catch the light in such a way as to reveal spots that have gone unwaxed. As I travel from one room to the other, my experienced eye is faithfully searching for lint that may have invaded my domain since my last passing. If I discover an offender, I discreetly tuck it into my pocket. The amount of lint I have gathered in the course of the day is the ultimate test of how diligently I am performing my task. I give my vacuum cleaner quite a workout, and I spend an excessive amount on replacement bags. My expenses for fl oor- cleaners and wax are alarmingly high, but somehow this does not stop me. Where my fl oors are concerned, money is not a consideration!
Think of a word that people would use to describe you. In a paragraph, defi ne that word
by using personal examples and details. You may want to brainstorm some words you
think defi ne you, or you may want to talk to family members to come up with ideas.
The paragraph below demonstrates a student’s response to this assignment.
Earlier in this chapter you read a paragraph defi ning hypnotherapy. Write an ex- tended defi nition paragraph in which you explain another scientifi c or medical term.
Here are a few terms you might choose from:
Electromagnetism
Hypertension
Inertia
Isotope
Magnetic resonance imaging
Photosynthesis
Post-partum depression
Social anxiety disorder
Dissociative fugue
Munchausen syndrome
Synesthesia
Kinesthesia
It will probably be helpful to do some background research. You might use the
Internet to access an online medical site such as the Mayo Clinic or a scientifi c site
like Science.gov. To avoid plagiarism, credit the sources you use and put quota-
tion marks around any defi nitions or statements you use from those sources. For
instance, if you are defi ning “schizophrenia” and you use the wording of the Mayo
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4
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262 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Clinic defi nition, you would want to write it in the following manner: “According
to the Mayo Clinic, ‘Schizophrenia is a group of severe brain disorders in which
people interpret reality abnormally.’” To extend your defi nition, you will want to
use one of the methods described on page 251 and in Writing Assignment 2.
Examine this photograph.
What words come to mind
immediately? Perhaps “jubi-
lant” or “victorious”? Brain-
storm one word that you feel
best describes the emotion
depicted here and write a
paragraph that defi nes that
word. Alternately, you might
imagine the exact opposite of
the scene shown here—at the
very moment that this photo
is being shot, how is the other
team feeling? Choose one
word for that feeling and write
a paragraph describing it.
Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this defi nition paragraph, you will write with a specifi c purpose and for a specifi c
audience. Imagine that you work in an offi ce building in which an environmental
problem has developed. You and your coworkers have been experiencing symptoms
of illness, such as fl u-like feelings and headaches. What used to be an exciting and in-
vigorating place to work has become plagued by lassitude. Your supervisor seems to
be oblivious to the root of the problem and you feel it would be benefi cial to provide
factual information for him. You research the phenomenon of “sick building syn-
drome.” In a well-written, factual memo, describe and defi ne the problem for your
boss. Your extended defi nition should include specifi c details that demonstrate how
people are feeling as well as technical and documented characteristics of the syn-
drome. Instead of writing “people are tired,” you might write “People are experienc-
ing respiratory problems. Poor ventilation or indoor pollutants, which are elements
of sick building syndrome, may be the cause.” Your purpose is not to offer solutions,
but simply to defi ne the problem and the syndrome in a business-like manner.
.
d
-
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 6
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Division-Classifi cation C H A P T E R
HOW MANY KINDS OF ART ARE HERE? Art comes in many forms. Write a paragraph in which you discuss two different art media and/or two different styles within those media. Include details about what makes each unique.
This chapter will explain and illustrate how to
• develop a division- classifi cation paragraph
• write a division- classifi cation paragraph
• revise a division- classifi cation paragraph
In addition, you will read and evaluate
• three student division-classifi cation paragraphs
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264 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Five Stages of Grief
1Elizabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the world to the fi ve stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying. 2The fi rst stage is called denial. 3In this stage, those who are terminally ill ignore their sickness. 4They claim to be fi ne and refuse to acknowledge reality. 5However, this stage is usually short-lived as the second stage, anger, takes over. 6During this stage, the individual will typically claim that it’s not fair he or she is sick. 7Family members are often the target of the anger as the individual lashes out at the
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
continued
If you were doing the laundry, you might begin by separating the cloth-
ing into piles. You might put all the whites in one pile and all the colors
in another. Or you might classify the laundry not according to color but
according to fabric—putting all cottons in one pile, polyesters in another,
and so on. Classifying is the process of taking many things and separating them into categories. We generally classify to better manage or understand
many things. Librarians classify books into groups (fi ction, travel, health,
etc.) to make them easier to fi nd. A scientist sheds light on the world by
classifying all living things into two main groups: animals and plants.
Dividing, in contrast, is taking one thing and breaking it down into parts. We often divide, or analyze, to better understand, teach, or evaluate
something. For instance, a tinkerer might take apart a clock to see how
it works; a science text might divide a tree into its parts to explain their
functions. A music reviewer may analyze the elements of a band’s per-
formance—for example, the skill of the various players, rapport with the audience, selections, and so on.
In short, if you are classifying, you are sorting numbers of things into categories. If you are dividing, you are breaking one thing into parts. It all depends on your purpose—you might classify fl owers into various types
or divide a single fl ower into its parts.
In this chapter, you will be asked to write a paragraph in which you
classify a group of things into categories according to a single principle.
To prepare for this assignment, fi rst read the paragraphs below, and then
work through the questions and the activity that follow.
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world. 8The third stage, bargaining, however, refl ects a completely different attitude. 9When the bargaining doesn’t work, the fourth stage, depression, sets in. 10During this time, the individual decides that since he or she is going to die, nothing matters. 11Some people become reclusive during this period. 12The fi nal stage, acceptance, is the time that the individual realizes nothing can be done and he or she should prepare for the outcome. 13Many times, once the individual who is dying enters this stage, he or she will start giving away possessions and reconnecting with family and friends. 14Some people go through the stages quickly, while others move through them slowly; some cycle back through stages before moving on. 15Although there is no one “right” way to experience grief, the stages Kübler-Ross defi ned have helped us greatly in our overall understanding of the process.
The Diversity of Africa
1We often think of Africa as a place covered with jungles and inhabited by people who practice the same culture. 2The northern part of Africa is mainly desert, except for the very edge, which borders the Mediterranean Sea. 3The Sahara, the world’s largest desert, is located in this part of the continent. 4So are countries such as Morocco, Algeria, Libya, Mauritania, and Egypt. In these countries the vast majority of the population speaks Arabic and practices Islam. 5In the middle of the continent, one fi nds the Sudan, Africa’s largest country, which offers a wide variety of landscapes: desert, grassland, and mountain. 6Other countries found in the middle part of Africa are Ethiopia, the Congo, Nigeria, Ghana, Uganda, and Kenya. 7The best-known countries in the southern part of the continent are Angola, Zimbabwe, Zambia, and South Africa. 8The landscape in the fi rst three of these southern countries consists mostly of grasslands with some mountains. 9The languages of these countries include English as well as native tongues. 10Many southern African countries have Christian majorities. 11In Mauritius, however, there are more Hindus than Christians or Muslims. 12Finally, the nation of South Africa seems to mirror the rest of the continent in its diversity. 13Here there are mountains, grasslands, and seashore. 14Eleven offi cial languages are spoken in this country: Afrikaans, English, isiNdebele, isiXhosa, isiZulu, Sepedi, Sesotho, Setswana, siSwati, Tshivenda, and Xitsonga. 15What’s more, several very different faiths are represented in South Africa, including Hinduism, Judaism, Islam, many sects of Christianity, and a wide variety of native religions.
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266 Part 2 Paragraph Development
ABOUT UNITY 1. Which paragraph lacks a topic sentence?
2. Which sentence in “Three Kinds of Dogs” should be eliminated in the interest
of paragraph unity? (Write the sentence number here.)
ABOUT SUPPORT 3. Of the three parts of Africa discussed in “The Diversity of Africa,” which one
needs more specifi c detail?
4. After which sentence in “Five Stages of Grief” are supporting details needed?
(Write the sentence number here.)
ABOUT COHERENCE 5. Which sentences in “Three Kinds of Dogs” contain addition transition words
or phrases? (Write the sentence numbers here.)
6. What type of order does “Five Stages of Grief” use to organize its details?
QUESTIONS
Three Kinds of Dogs
1A city walker will notice that most dogs fall into one of three categories. 2First there are the big dogs, which are generally harmless and often downright friendly. 3They walk along peacefully with their masters, their tongues hanging out and big goofy grins on their faces. 4Apparently they know they’re too big to have anything to worry about, so why not be nice? 5Second are the spunky medium-sized dogs. 6When they see a stranger approaching, they go on alert. 7They prick up their ears, they raise their hackles, and they may growl a little deep in their throats. 8“I could tear you up,” they seem to be saying, “but I won’t if you behave yourself.” 9Unless the walker leaps for their master’s throat, these dogs usually won’t do anything more than threaten. 10The third category is made up of the shivering neurotic little yappers whose shrill barks could shatter glass and whose needle-like little teeth are eager to sink into a friendly outstretched hand. 11Walkers always wonder about these dogs—don’t they know that people who really wanted to could squash them under their feet like bugs? 12Apparently not, because of all the dogs a walker meets, these provide the most irritation. 13Such dogs are only one of the potential hazards that the city walker encounters.
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This activity will sharpen your sense of the classifying process. In each of the ten
groups, cross out the one item that has not been classifi ed on the same basis as the
other three. Also, indicate in the space provided the single principle of classifi ca-
tion used for the remaining three items. Note the examples.
examples
Water Household pests
a. Cold a. Mice
b. Lake b. Ants
c. Hot c. Roaches
d. Lukewarm d. Flies
Unifying principle: Unifying principle:
Temperature Insect s
1. Eyes
a. Blue
b. Nearsighted
c. Brown
d. Hazel
Unifying principle:
2. Mattresses
a. Double
b. Twin
c. Queen
d. Firm
Unifying principle:
3. Zoo animals
a. Flamingo
b. Peacock
c. Polar bear
d. Ostrich
Unifying principle:
4. Vacation
a. Summer
b. Holiday
c. Seashore
d. Weekend
Unifying principle:
5. Books
a. Novels
b. Biographies
c. Boring
d. Short stories
Unifying principle:
6. Wallets
a. Leather
b. Plastic
c. Stolen
d. Fabric
Unifying principle:
ACTIVITY 1
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268 Part 2 Paragraph Development
7. Newspaper
a. Wrapping garbage
b. Editorials
c. Making paper planes
d. Covering fl oor while painting
Unifying principle:
8. Students
a. First-year
b. Transfer
c. Junior
d. Sophomore
Unifying principle:
9. Exercise
a. Running
b. Swimming
c. Gymnastics
d. Fatigue
Unifying principle:
10. Leftovers
a. Cold chicken
b. Feed to dog
c. Reheat
d. Use in a stew
Unifying principle:
Developing a Division-Classifi cation Paragraph Development through Prewriting Marcus walked home from campus to his apartment, thinking about the as-
signment to write a division-classifi cation paragraph. As he strolled along his
familiar route, his observations made him think of several possibilities. “First I
thought of writing about the businesses in my neighborhood, dividing them into
the ones run by Hispanics, Asians, and African Americans,” he said. “When I
stopped in at my favorite coffee shop, I thought about dividing the people who
hang out there. There is a group of old men who meet to drink coffee and play
cards, and there are students like me, but there didn’t seem to be a third cat-
egory and I wasn’t sure two was enough. As I continued walking home, though,
I saw Mr. Enriquez and his big golden retriever, and a woman with two nervous
little dogs that acted as if they wanted to eat me, and the newsstand guy with
his mutt that’s always guarding the place, and I thought ‘Dogs! I can classify
types of dogs.’”
But how would he classify them? Thinking further, Marcus realized that he
thought of dogs as having certain personalities depending on their size. “I know
there are exceptions, of course, but since this was going to be a lighthearted, even
comical paragraph, I thought it would be OK if I exaggerated a bit.” He wrote
down his three categories:
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Big dogs
Medium-sized dogs
Small dogs
Big dogs Medium-sized dogs Small dogs
calm spunky nervous
fr iendly energet ic trembling
good-natured ready to fi ght noisy
dumb prot ect ive yapp y
lazy fr iendly if they know you snapp y
annoy ing
Under each division, then, he wrote down as many characteristics as he could
think of:
Marcus then wrote a topic sentence: “Dogs seem to fall into three categories.”
Using that topic sentence and a scratch outline he produced from his prewriting, he
wrote the following paragraph:
Most dogs seem to fall into one of three categories . First there are the big dumb
fr iendly dogs. Th ey give the impress ion of being sweet but not real bright. One
ex ample of this kind of dog is Lucy. She’s a golden ret riever belonging to a man in
my neighborhood. Lucy goes everywhere with Mr. Enriq uez. She does n’t even need
a leash but just follows him. Dogs like Lucy never bot her anybody. She just lies at
Mr. Enriq uez’s feet wh en he stops to talk to anyone. Th e guy wh o runs the corner
newss tand I pass every day has a spunky medium-sized dog. Once the dog knows you
he’s fr iendly and even playful. But he’s always on the lookout for a stranger wh o might
mean trouble. For a dog wh o’s not very big he can make himself look prett y fi erce if
continued
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270 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Most dogs seem to fall into three categories .
First there are the big dumb fr iendly dogs. Th ey
give the impress ion of being sweet but not real
bright. One ex ample of this kind of dog is Lucy,
a golden ret riever belonging to a man in my
neighborhood. Lucy goes everywhere with Mr.
Enriq uez. She does n’t even need a leash but just
follows him everywhere. Lucy never bot hers
you. She just lies at Mr. Enriq uez’s feet wh en he
stops to talk to anyone. Th e guy wh o runs the
corner newss tand I pass every day has a spunky
medium-sized dog. Once the dog knows you
he’s fr iendly and even playful. But he’s always
on the lookout for a stranger wh o might mean
trouble. For a dog wh o’s not very big he can
make himself look prett y fi erce if he wants to
scare you. Th en there are my least favorite kind
of dogs. Litt le nervous yapp y ones . My aunt used
continued
he wants to. Th en there are my least favorite kind of dogs. Litt le nervous yapp y ones .
My aunt used to have a Chihuahua like that. It knew me for nine years and still
went crazy shaking and yipp ing at me every time we met . She loved that dog but I
can’t imagine wh y. If I had a dog it would defi nitely come fr om category 1 or 2.
Development through Revising Marcus traded his fi rst draft with a fellow student, Rachel, and asked her to give
him feedback. Here are the comments Rachel wrote on his paper:
Th is is a change in point of view—you haven’t been using “you” before.
Is this the beginning of a sec ond category? Th at’s not clear.
Not a complet e sentence.
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to have a Chihuahua like that. It knew me for
nine years and still went crazy shaking and
yipp ing at me every time we met . She loved
that dog but I can’t imagine wh y. If I had a dog
it would defi nitely come fr om category 1 or 2.
Marcus—I think you need to make your three categories clearer. Your fi rst one is OK— “big dogs,” wh ich you say are fr iendly—but categories 2 and 3 aren’t stated as clearly. It’s dist racting to have your point of view change fr om third person to “you” to “me.” Since you’re trying to divide and class ify all dogs, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to talk only about three individual dogs. Th is way it sounds as if you’re just des cribing those three dogs instead of putt ing them into three groups.
When Marcus considered Rachel’s comments and reread his paragraph, he
agreed with what she had written. “I realized it was too much about three particular
dogs and not enough about the categories of dogs,” he said. “I decided to revise it
and focus on the three classes of dogs.”
Marcus then wrote the version that appears on page 266.
Writing a Division-Classifi cation Paragraph
Anot her change in point of view—you’ve gone fr om writing in the third person to “you” to “me.”
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1 Following are four options to develop into a classifi cation paragraph. Each one
presents a topic to classify into three categories. Choose one option to develop into
a paragraph.
OPTION 1 College Campuses
(1) The pristine suburban campus
(2) The noisy urban campus
(3) The isolated rural campus
OPTION 2 College Professors
(1) The one who speaks in a monotone
(2) The one who wants to be every student’s friend
(3) The one who is passionate about teaching
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272 Part 2 Paragraph Development
OPTION 3 College Students
(1) Those who work hard to achieve a goal
(2) Those who don’t know why they’re in college
(3) Those who just want to get by
OPTION 4 College Roommates
(1) The life of the party
(2) The depressed homesick whiner
(3) The overly serious studier
PREWRITING a. Begin by freewriting on your topic. For fi ve or ten minutes,
simply write down everything that comes into your head
when you think about “students,” “professors,” or whichever
topic you chose. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or
organization—just write.
b. Now that you’ve “loosened up your brain” a little, try ask-
ing yourself questions about the topic and writing down your
answers. If you are writing about students, for instance, you
might ask questions like these:
• How do the three kinds of students prepare for their classes?
• How many classes will each student take?
• What do the different kinds of students do during the semester?
• How long does each type of student spend studying, party-
ing, working?
Write down whatever answers occur to you for these and other questions.
Again, do not worry at this stage about writing correctly. Instead, concen-
trate on getting down all the information you can think of that supports
your three points.
c. Reread the material you have accumulated. If some of the details you have
written make you think of even better ones, add them. Select the details that
best support your three points. Number them in the order you will present them.
d. Restate your topic as a grammatically complete topic sentence. For ex-
ample, if you’re writing about professors, your topic sentence might be
“College professors can be classifi ed into three categories.” Turn each of
your three supporting points into a full sentence as well.
WHICH OF THE SIX categories listed under “College Students” and “College Roommates” do you think this student falls into? (You might fi nd that one, two, or more categories fi t.) Write a paragraph explaining what you observe in the photo that leads you to this/these classifi cation(s).
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e. Using your topic sentence and three supporting sentences and adding the
details you have generated, write the fi rst draft of your paragraph.
REVISING Put away your work for a day or so. Then reread it with a critical eye, asking your-
self or a peer reviewer these questions.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Division-Classifi cation
ABOUT UNITY
Does my paragraph include a complete topic sentence and three supporting
points?
While classifying the various types of my chosen topic, have I also kept that
subject unifi ed?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I backed up each supporting point with strong, specifi c details?
Have I given examples of each type of college student, roommate, campus,
or professor?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Does the paragraph successfully classify types of college students, room-
mates, campuses, or professors?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I carefully proofread my paragraph, using the list on the inside back
cover of the book, and corrected all sentence-skills mistakes, including
spelling?
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you can answer “yes” to each of these questions.
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274 Part 2 Paragraph Development
We don’t often think about our own hometown from the perspective of a tourist.
However, it is always a good idea to have suggestions available of things to do for
people who are visiting. In preparation for visitors, you are to look at what activi-
ties are available to do in your city and classify them in a logical way, so you can
provide travelling advice to any group that might visit.
PREWRITING a. Classify the activities you are considering writing about into three cat-
egories. Remember: You must use a single principle of division when you create your three categories. For example, you might classify the activities as family friendly, teens only, and adults only, or you might
categorize the activities as inexpensive, reasonably priced, and splurges.
However, you wouldn’t want to categorize your activities as family
friendly, outdoor, and inexpensive as these are all different principles of
division.
b. Once you have a satisfactory three-part division, spend at least fi ve min-
utes freewriting about each of your three points. Don’t be concerned yet
with grammar, spelling, or organization. Just write whatever comes into
your mind about each of the three points.
c. Expand your topic into a fully stated topic sentence.
d. At this stage, you have all three elements of your paragraph: the topic sen-
tence, the three main points, and the details needed to support each point.
Now weave them all together in one paragraph.
REVISING Do not attempt to revise your paragraph right away. Put it away for a while, if pos-
sible until the next day. When you reread it, try to be as critical of it as you would
be if someone else had written it. As you go over the work, ask yourself the ques-
tions in the Four Bases chart on the next page.
Continue revising until you are sure the answer to each question is “yes.”
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2
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People often assume different roles and different attitudes according to the im-
mediate situation, or context, in which they fi nd themselves. Examples of different
types of roles might be student, parent, sister, friend, boss, and employee. Identify
several roles that you adopt on a regular basis and write a paragraph that explores
how you act and feel in each role. Another approach to this assignment would be
to write how different people react to you in your different roles. For instance,
think about how your professor might greet you if you bumped into him or her in
the supermarket or how your boss might treat you if you happened to meet on the
playground as you both watched your children.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Division-Classifi cation
ABOUT UNITY
Have I divided my topic into three distinct parts?
Is each of those parts based on the same principle of division?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I provided eff ective details to back up each of my three points?
Have I given each of the three parts approximately equal weight, devoting
the same amount of time to each part?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have I used appropriate transitions and other connective devices to weave
my paragraph together?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my paragraph?
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
Have I avoided wordiness and used concise wording?
Are my sentences varied?
Have I checked for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed on the inside
back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3
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276 Part 2 Paragraph Development
When we go to a restaurant, we probably hope that the service will be helpful, the
atmosphere will be pleasant, and the food will be tasty. But as the following car-
toon suggests, restaurants that are good in all three respects may be hard to fi nd.
Write a review of a restaurant, analyzing its (1) service, (2) atmosphere, and (3)
food. Visit a restaurant for this assignment, or draw on an experience you have had
recently. Freewrite or make a list of observations about such elements as
Quantity of food you receive Attitude of the servers
Taste of the food Effi ciency of the servers
Temperature of the food Decor (take into consideration whether
Freshness of the ingredients it’s a chain restaurant)
How the food is presented Level of cleanliness
(garnishes, dishes, and so on) Noise level and music, if any
Feel free to write about details other than those listed above. Just be sure each de-
tail fi ts into one of your three categories: food, service, or atmosphere.
For your topic sentence, rate the restaurant by giving it from one to fi ve stars,
on the basis of your overall impression. Include the restaurant’s name and location
in your topic sentence. Here are some examples:
Guido’s, an Italian restaurant downtown, deserves three stars.
The McDonald’s on Route 70 merits a four-star rating.
The Circle Diner in Westfi eld barely earns a one-star rating.
Leo Cullum/The New Yorker Collection/www.cartoonbank.com
Think about what makes this cartoon amusing. Select and describe one aspect about the text and one about the image that explain the cartoon’s humor.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4
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Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this division-classifi cation paragraph, you will write with a specifi c purpose and
for a specifi c audience. Suppose you are working at a car wash, a beauty salon, a
restaurant, an automobile service center, or some other establishment that offers
three different versions of a service: economy, full-service, and high-end. For each
service, explain what is covered, what is done, and what is charged. Another op-
tion is to describe three versions of a product sold where you work. For example,
let’s say you’re employed by a fast-food hamburger restaurant. You might describe
three different versions of the same meal by discussing what they cost, what they
include, and what size each part of the meals comes in.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5
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This chapter will explain and illustrate how to
• develop a descriptive paragraph
• write a descriptive paragraph
• revise a descriptive paragraph
In addition, you will read and evaluate
• three student descriptive paragraphs
Description C H A P T E R
HOW DO DETAILS CREATE THE WHOLE? Just as an artist uses paint to create a picture for viewers, writers use words to paint a picture in their readers’ minds. In both kinds of creations, the use of details is critical. Study the top image and the called-out detail in this painting. Select either the detail or the whole image and write a paragraph describing it to someone who has never seen the painting. As you write, consider how the detail relates to the whole.
OWWW DDDOOO DDDEEETTTAAAIIILLLSSS CCCRRREEEAAATTTEEE TTTHHHEEE WWWHHHOOOLLLEEE??? Just as
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When you describe something or someone, you give your readers a
picture in words. To make this “word picture” as vivid and real as pos-
sible, you must observe and record specifi c details that appeal to your
readers’ senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch). More than any
other type of writing, a descriptive paragraph needs sharp, colorful
details.
Here is a description in which only the sense of sight is used:
A rug covers the living-room fl oor.
In contrast, here is a description rich in sense impressions:
A thick, reddish-brown shag rug is laid wall to wall across the living- room fl oor. The long, curled fi bers of the shag seem to whisper as you walk through them in your bare feet, and when you squeeze your toes into the deep covering, the soft fi bers push back at you with a spongy resilience.
Sense impressions include sight (thick, reddish-brown shag rug; laid wall to wall; walk through them in your bare feet; squeeze your toes into the deep covering; push back), hearing (whisper), and touch (bare feet, soft fi bers, spongy resilience). The sharp, vivid images provided by the sensory details give us a clear picture of the rug and enable us to share the writer’s
experience.
In addition to sensory detail, you can include details about how a
person behaves, how a thing operates, or what happens in a place. In
other words, you can relate actions to help convey your dominant im- pression of your subject. This is called narration, a writing technique discussed in Chapter 15. For example, in “Paradise Pond,” a paragraph
that follows, the writer includes certain actions such as the golfers warn-
ing him about certain “critters” that live in the pond. He also tells us
about his fi shing bobber plunging into the water as a bass tugs at the
end of his line. In “My Teenage Son’s Room,” the writer mentions the
gerbil that scratches “against the cage wall.” In addition we get a picture
of the writer’s son, Greg, tossing balls of papers into a “‘basket’—the
trash can.”
In this chapter, you will be asked to describe a person, place, or thing
for your readers by using words rich in sensory details. To prepare for the
assignment, fi rst read the three paragraphs that follow and then answer the
accompanying questions.
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280 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
My Teenage Son’s Room
1I push open the door with diffi culty. 2The doorknob is loose and has to be jiggled just right before the catch releases from the doorjamb. 3Furthermore, as I push at the door, it runs into a basketball shoe lying on the fl oor. 4I manage to squeeze in through the narrow opening. 5I am immediately aware of a pungent odor in the room, most of which is coming from the closet, to my right. 6That’s the location of a white wicker clothes hamper, heaped with grass-stained jeans, sweat-stained T-shirts, and old- fi sh-scented socks. 7But the half-eaten burrito, lying dried and unappetizing on the bedside table across the room, contributes a bit of aroma, as does the glass of curdled sour milk sitting on the sunny windowsill. 8To my left, the small wire cage on Greg’s desk is also fragrant, but pleasantly. 9From its nest of sweet-smelling cedar chips, the gerbil peers out at me with its bright eyes, its tiny claws scratching against the cage wall. 10The fl oor around the wastebasket that is next to the desk is surrounded by what appears to be a sprinkling of snowballs. 11They’re actually old wadded-up school papers, and I can picture Greg sitting on his bed, crushing them into balls and aiming them at the “basket”—the trash can. 12I glance at the bed across from the desk and chuckle because pillows stuffed under the tangled nest of blankets make it look as if someone is still sleeping there, though I know Greg is in history class right now. 13I step carefully through the room, trying to walk through the obstacle course of science-fi ction paperbacks, a wristwatch, sports magazines, and a dust-covered computer on which my son stacks empty soda cans. 14I leave everything as I fi nd it, but tape a note to Greg’s door saying, “Isn’t it about time to clean up?”
Paradise Pond
1It wasn’t a pond at all, just a large water hole on a golf course.. 2But it was my little piece of heaven. 3Long shards of sweet grass rose on every shore, completely encircling the water except for a small clearing where I could fi sh. 4Sometimes a musty, half-sweet odor rose from the brown muck that collected around the green and yellow grass, but usually the air was clear, cool, and refreshing. 5I was after blue gills and bass, which had somehow found their way into the pond and which I could sometimes see swimming in the sandy shallows. 6On the other side of the pond, the golfers, playing hole 10, scowled at me, and they called out warnings about “critters” that lived there. 7The only other sound was the crack of a steel seven iron that struck a
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ball and sent it fl ying toward the fl ag, which waved in the cool, silent breeze. 8I only chuckled, my eyes fi xed on the bobber that I was certain would soon plunge deep into the water as a large-mouth bass tugged on the line.
Karla
1Karla, my brother’s new girlfriend, is a catlike creature. 2Framing her face is a layer of sleek black hair that always looks just-combed. 3Her face, with its wide forehead, sharp cheekbones, and narrow, pointed chin, resembles a triangle. 4Karla’s skin is a soft, velvety brown. 5Her large brown eyes slant upward at the corners, and she emphasizes their angle with a sweep of maroon eye shadow. 6Karla’s habit of looking sidelong out of the tail of her eye makes her appear cautious, as if she were expecting something to sneak up on her. 7Her nose is small and fl at. 8The sharply outlined depression under it leads the observer’s eye to a pair of red-tinted lips. 9With their slight upward tilt at the corners, Karla’s lips make her seem self-satisfi ed and secretly pleased. 10One reason Karla may be happy is that she recently was asked to be in a local beauty contest. 11Her long neck and slim body are perfectly in proportion with her face. 12Karla manages to look elegant and sleek no matter how she is standing or sitting, for her body seems to be made up of graceful angles. 13Her slender hands are tipped with long, polished nails. 14Her narrow feet are long, too, but they appear delicate even in fl at-soled running shoes. 15Somehow, Karla would look perfect in a cat’s jeweled collar.
ABOUT UNITY 1. Which paragraph lacks a topic sentence?
2. Which sentence in the paragraph about Karla should be omitted in the
interest of paragraph unity? (Write the sentence number here.)
ABOUT SUPPORT 3. Label as sight, touch, hearing, or smell all the sensory details in the
following sentences taken from the three paragraphs. The fi rst sentence
is done for you as an example.
a. Sometimes a musty, half-sweet odor rose from the brown muck
that collected around the green and yellow grass, but usually the
air was clear, cool, and refreshing.
smell sight
sight
sight touch
QUESTIONS
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282 Part 2 Paragraph Development
adjustable black chair computer
beige desk pict ures of Marie and kids on desk
piles of papers desk calendar
b. I only chuckled, my eyes fi xed on the bobber that I was
certain would soon plunge deep into the water as a large-
mouth bass tugged on the line.
c. Her slender hands are tipped with long, polished nails.
d. That’s the location of a white wicker clothes hamper, heaped with
grass-stained jeans, sweat-stained T-shirts, and old-fi sh-scented socks.
4. After which sentence in “Paradise Pond” are specifi c details needed?
ABOUT COHERENCE 5. Spatial signals (above, next to, to the right, and so on) are often used to help
organize details in a descriptive paragraph. List four space signals that appear in
“My Teenage Son’s Room”:
6. The writer of “Karla” organizes the details by observing Karla in an orderly
way. Which of Karla’s features is described fi rst? Which is
described last? Check the method of spatial organization that
best describes the paragraph:
Interior to exterior
Near to far
Top to bottom
Developing a Descriptive Paragraph Development through Prewriting When Victor was assigned a descriptive paragraph, he thought at fi rst of describ-
ing his own offi ce at work. He began by making a list of details he noticed while
looking around the offi ce.
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Brown muck surr ounding the pond
Tall sweet grass
Golfers on the 10th hole
Steel clubs cracking against hard golf balls
A clear spot in the weeds—a place to fi sh
Blue gills, large-mouth bass
Musty smell, sweet
“Watch out for snakes , kid”
Bobber plunges into the water—a strike
Great feeling at the end of the line, bass tugs away
As he looked over his list of details, the word that came to mind was “paradise.”
Victor remembered this place fondly, as a beautiful and peaceful haven. He decided
But Victor quickly became bored. Here is how he describes what happened
next:
“As I wrote down what I saw in my offi ce, I was thinking, ‘What a drag.’
I gave up and worked on something else. Later that evening I told my wife that I
was going to write a boring paragraph about my boring offi ce. She started laugh-
ing at me. I said, ‘What’s so funny?’ and she said, ‘You’re so certain that a writing
assignment has to be boring that you deliberately chose a subject that bores you.
How about writing about something you care about?’ At fi rst I was annoyed, but
then I realized she was right. When I hear ‘assignment’ I automatically think ‘pain
in the neck’ and just want to get it over with.”
Victor’s attitude is not uncommon. Many students who are not experienced
writers don’t take the time to fi nd a topic that interests them. They grab the one
closest at hand and force themselves to write about it just for the sake of complet-
ing the assignment. Like Victor, they ensure that they (and probably their instruc-
tors as well) will be bored with the task.
That evening, Victor remembered the days when, as a boy, he used to fi sh “the
pond,” really a water hole on a local public golf course in Florida. “As I remem-
bered the ‘pond,’ I recalled a lot of descriptive details—sounds, smells, sights,”
said Victor. “I realized not only that it would be more fun to describe a place like
that than my bland, boring offi ce, but also that I would actually fi nd it an interesting
challenge to make my reader see the pond through my words.”
Victor now began to make a list of details about the pond:
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284 Part 2 Paragraph Development
It was my litt le piec e of heaven, beautiful and peaceful. Grass complet ely
surr ounded the pond ex cept for one small clearing wh ere I could fi sh. All I cared
about was catching fi sh, and I kept my ey e on that bobber, waiting for it to disapp ear
into the water. Th e golfers warn me to watch for snakes . I didn’t care about the golfers’
warnings. Th e only ot her sound is a club hitt ing the ball. An odor rose fr om the muck
that collect s around the grass , but it’s not bad. Usually the air is refr eshing. Watch out
for the “critt ers.”
Th is is a very good beginning. You have provided some strong det ails that app eal
to the reader’s sense of smell, hearing, and sight.
In your next draft , organize your paragraph bett er. Try spatial order. For
ex ample, you might des cribe the grass that surr ounds the pond, then mention the fact
that you found an open spot to fi sh fr om, and then tell us about the golfers’ warnings.
You can then end logically by ex plaining how you reacted to their warnings.
I encourage you to bec ome even more spec ifi c in your det ails. For instance, wh at
kind of fi sh were you aft er? As you work on each sentence, ask yourself if you can
add more des criptive det ails to paint a more vivid pict ure in words.
Development through Revising The next day, Victor’s instructor asked to see the students’ fi rst drafts. This is what
she wrote in response to Victor’s:
In response to his instructor’s suggestions, Victor rewrote the paragraph, be-
ginning with the sweet grass on the shore. Then he mentioned the fi sh in the water.
Next he focused on the golfers on the other side of the pond. He ended the para-
graph with a sentence that brought the reader back to his fi shing on the shoreline.
He then added some more vivid details throughout and produced the paragraph
that appears on pages 280–281.
his topic sentence would be “It was my little piece of heaven.” He then wrote this
fi rst draft:
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Writing a Descriptive Paragraph
Having the ideal study environment is different for each of us. Write a paragraph
that describes the ideal study environment for you. What type of atmosphere
helps you focus? What should your reader understand about your study zone?
Why is this environment so effective for you?
PREWRITING a. After you decide where you best study, prepare a
list of all the details you can think of that support
the topic. For example, a student who planned to
describe studying in her dorm room made this list:
audio system
computer
small window
small pink lamp
photos of family
photos of friends
bookcase
whiteboard with to-do lists
b. You may want to use other prewriting techniques,
such as freewriting or questioning, to develop more
details for your topic. As you continue prewriting,
keep the following in mind:
• Everything in the paragraph should support your
point. For example, if you are writing about a
dorm room, every detail should serve to show why that room facilitates
studying. Other details—for example, dirty clothes and strange wall
color—should be omitted.
• Description depends on the use of specifi c rather than general descrip-
tive words. Examples are given on the next page.
SELECT ONE DETAIL FROM THIS photo and write a brief paragraph describing exactly what and how that item contributes to the mess in this scene.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1
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286 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Topic sentence: Th e bes t place for me to study is in my dorm room.
1. Window 4. Bookcase
2. Walls 5. Desk
3. Whiteboard 6. Lamp
d. Then proceed to write a fi rst draft of your paragraph.
General Specifi c Mess on the fl oor The obstacle course of science-fi ction
paperbacks, a wristwatch, sports maga-
zines, and a dust-covered computer on
which my son stacks empty soda cans
Ugly turtle tub Large plastic tub of dirty, stagnant water
with a motionless turtle
Bad smell Unpleasant mixture of strong chemical
deodorizers, urine-soaked newspapers,
and musty sawdust
Nice skin Soft, velvety brown skin
Remember that you want your readers to experience the room vividly.
Your words should be as detailed as a clear photograph, giving readers
a real feel for the room. Appeal to as many senses as possible. Most of
your description will involve the sense of sight, but you may be able to
include details about touch, hearing, and smell as well.
• Spatial order is a good way to organize a descriptive paragraph. Move
as a visitor’s eye might move around the room, from right to left or
from larger items to smaller ones. Here are a few transition words that
show spatial relationships:
to the left above across from
to the right below nearby
next to on the opposite side
Such transitions will help prevent you—and your reader—from getting
lost as the description proceeds.
c. Before you write, make a scratch outline based on your list. Here is one
possible outline of the paragraph about studying in the dorm room. Note
that the details are organized according to spatial order—starting with the
window at the outside edge of the room and moving in toward the center.
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FOUR BASES Checklist: Description
ABOUT UNITY
Does every detail in the paragraph support the topic sentence?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Are the details specifi c and vivid rather than general?
Has the writer included details that appeal to as many senses as possible?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Does the paragraph follow a logical spatial order?
Has the writer used transitions (such as on top of, beside, to the left of ) to help
the reader follow that order?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Has the writer carefully proofread his or her paragraph, using the list on the
inside back cover of the book, and corrected all sentence-skills mistakes,
including spelling?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you and your reader can answer “yes” to each
of these questions.
REVISING Read your descriptive paragraph slowly out loud to a friend. Ask the friend to close
his or her eyes and try to picture the room as you read. Read it aloud a second time.
Ask your friend to answer these questions.
Write a paragraph describing a specifi c person. Select a dominant impression of
the person, and use only details that will convey that impression. You might want
to write about someone who falls into one of these categories:
TV or movie personality Coworker
Brother or sister Clergyman or clergywoman
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2
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288 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Employer Police offi cer
Child Store owner or manager
Older person Bartender
Close friend Joker
Enemy or rival Doctor or nurse
PREWRITING a. Reread the paragraph about Karla that appears earlier in this chapter. Note
the dominant impression that the writer wanted to convey: that Karla is
a catlike person. Having decided to focus on that impression, the writer
included only details that contributed to her point. Similarly, you should
focus on one dominant aspect of your subject’s appearance, personality,
or behavior.
Once you have chosen the person you will write about and the
impression you plan to portray, put that information into a topic sentence.
Here are some examples of topic sentences that mention a particular
person and the dominant impression of that person:
Kate gives the impression of being permanently nervous.
The candidate for the Senate looked like a movie star.
The child was an angelic little fi gure.
The dental receptionist was extremely reassuring.
The TV newscaster seems as synthetic as a piece of Styrofoam.
Our neighbor is a fussy person.
The rock singer seemed to be plugged into some special kind of energy source.
The police offi ce inspired confi dence.
My friend Jeffrey is a slow, deliberate person.
The owner of that grocery store seems burdened with troubles.
b. Make a list of the person’s qualities that support your topic sentence.
Write quickly; don’t worry if you fi nd yourself writing down something
that doesn’t quite fi t. You can always edit the list later. For now, just
write down all the details that occur to you that support the dominant
impression you want to convey. Include details that involve as many
senses as possible (sight, sound, hearing, touch, smell). For instance,
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soft brown ringlet s of hair
pink cheeks
wide shining ey es
shrieking laugh
joy ful smile
starched wh ite dress
wh ite fl owers in hair
soft brown ringlet s of hair
pink cheeks
wide shining ey es
shrieking laugh
joy ful smile
starched wh ite dress
wh ite fl owers in hair
sweet singing voice
c. Edit your list, striking out details that don’t support your topic
sentence and adding others that do. The author of the paragraph on an
angelic fi gure crossed out one detail from the original list and added a
new one:
d. Decide on a spatial order of organization. In the example above, the
writer ultimately decided to describe the child from head to toe.
e. Make a scratch outline for your paragraph, based on the organization you
have chosen.
f. Then proceed to write a fi rst draft of your paragraph.
here’s a list one writer jotted down to support the sentence “The child was
an angelic little fi gure”:
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290 Part 2 Paragraph Development
FOUR BASES Checklist: Description
ABOUT UNITY
Does my topic sentence make a general point about the person?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Do descriptions of the appearance, tone of voice, and expressions of the
people involved paint a clear picture of the person?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have I used transitional words, such as fi rst, later, and then?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my paragraph?
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
Have I avoided wordiness?
Are my sentences varied?
Have I checked for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed on the inside
back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you can answer “yes” to each of these
questions.
REVISING Put your paragraph away for a day or so if at all possible. Then ask yourself and a
peer editor these questions.
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Write a paragraph describing the cartoon
shown here so that a person who has never
seen it will be able to visualize it and fully
understand it.
In order to write such a complete descrip-
tion, you must notice and report every detail in the cartoon. The details include such things as
the way the room is arranged; the objects pres-
ent in the room; what the characters are doing
with those objects; the expressions on the
characters’ faces; and any motions that are oc-
curring. Remember as you are describing the
cartoon to give special attention to the same
elements that the cartoonist gives special at-
tention to. Your goal should be this: Someone
who reads your description of the cartoon will
understand it as fully as someone who saw the
cartoon itself.
Imagine you have been asked to be part of an experiment. This experiment re-
quires you to sit on one side of a curtain and describe yourself in enough detail
that a sketch artist on the other side of the curtain can create a perfect picture
of you. Select colorful detailed descriptions that support a dominant impres-
sion of you. Once you decide on the impression you wish to convey, compose
a topic sentence, such as one of those below, that summarizes the details you
will use.
My face is interesting because my individual features contrast with one another dramatically.
My facial features convey my Hawaiian heritage.
My large piercing eyes dominate my otherwise plain features.
After you have written your paragraph, you may want to give it to a friend or
classmate to see if he or she thinks your description is accurate.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4
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292 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this description paragraph, you will write with a specifi c purpose and for a spe-
cifi c audience. Imagine that you work for a marketing fi rm and have to create an
advertising campaign. Choose an object that you need to promote and then write
a paragraph describing that object, how it is used, and why it would make a good
purchase. Include as many sensory details as possible—details that will emotion-
ally connect the buyer to the product. Once you decide on the impression you
want to convey, compose a topic sentence like the one below that summarizes the
details:
No household should be without the amazing, all-purpose, environmentally friendly, lawn care system known as “The Goat.”
Remember to provide colorful detailed descriptions to help your readers picture
the image you are writing about. Note the contrast in the two items below:
Lacks rich descriptive details: Our lawn looked really nice after it had been cut. Includes rich descriptive details: After we used “The Goat” for the fi rst time, our lawn was trimmed to a neat uniform one-inch height and was a shining, beautiful dark green from all the natural fertilizer.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5
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This chapter will explain and illustrate how to
• develop a narrative paragraph
• write a narrative paragraph
• revise a narrative paragraph
In addition, you will read and evaluate
• three student narrative paragraphs
Narration C H A P T E R
HOW REALISTIC ARE YOUR MEMORIES? Adults sentimentally think of childhood as a time of happy, carefree innocence, as depicted in this photograph. Yet during childhood most of us witnessed events that began to make us aware that life was not always happy or fair. What such events do you remember? Select one and write a paragraph about it. What impression did it make on you?
HHHOOOWWW RRREEEAAALLLIIISSSTTTIIICCC AAARRREEE YYYOOOUUURRR MMMEEEMMMOOORRRIIIEEESSS??? Adults
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294 Part 2 Paragraph Development
At times we make a statement clear by relating in detail something that has
happened. In the story we tell, we present the details in the order in which
they happened. A person might say, for example, “I was embarrassed yester-
day,” and then go on to illustrate the statement with the following narrative:
The speaker’s details have made his moment of embarrassment vivid and
real for us, and we can see and understand just why he felt as he did.
In addition to vivid details that convey action, you might want to in-
clude both characters and dialogue (what people say) in your narrative. For example, in “Heartbreak” we meet Bonnie, the writer’s former girlfriend.
When he asks her about her new love interest (“Who is Blake?”), Bonnie
asks him, “What do you want to hear about—my classes or Blake?”
In this chapter, you will be asked to tell a story that illustrates or ex-
plains some point. The paragraphs below all present narrative experiences
that support a point. Read them and then answer the questions that follow.
I was hurrying across campus to get to a class. It had rained heavily all morning, so I was hopscotching my way around puddles in the pathway. I called to two friends ahead to wait for me, and right before I caught up to them, I came to a large puddle that covered the entire path. I had to make a quick choice of either stepping into the puddle or trying to jump over it. I jumped, wanting to seem cool, since my friends were watching, but didn’t clear the puddle. Water splashed everywhere, drenching my shoe, sock, and pants cuff, and spraying the pants of my friends as well. “Well done, Dave!” they said. My embarrassment was all the greater because I had tried to look so casual.
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
Heartbreak
1Bonnie and I had gotten engaged in August, just before she left for college at Penn State. 2A week before Thanksgiving, I drove up to see her as a surprise. 3When I knocked on the door of her dorm room, she was indeed surprised, but not in a pleasant way. 4She introduced me to her roommate, who looked uncomfortable and quickly left. 5I asked Bonnie
continued
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how classes were going, and at the same time I tugged on the sleeve of my heavy sweater in order to pull it off. 6As I was slipping it over my head, I noticed a large photo on the wall—of Bonnie and a tall guy laughing together. 7It was decorated with paper fl owers and a yellow ribbon, and on the ribbon was written “Bonnie and Blake.” 8“What’s going on?” I said. 9I stood there stunned and then felt anger that grew rapidly. 10“Who is Blake?” I asked. 11Bonnie laughed nervously and said, “What do you want to hear about—my classes or Blake?” 12I don’t really remember what she then told me, except that Blake was a sophomore math major. 13I felt a terrible pain in the pit of my stomach, and I wanted to rest my head on someone’s shoulder and cry. 14I wanted to tear down the sign and run out, but I did nothing. 15Clumsily I pulled on my sweater again. 16My knees felt weak, and I barely had control of my body. 17I opened the room door, and suddenly more than anything I wanted to slam the door shut so hard that the dorm walls would collapse. 18Instead, I managed to close the door quietly. 19I walked away understanding what was meant by a broken heart.
James Smith’s Remarkable Career
1Until his recent retirement, James Smith was a partner and highly successful attorney at Lowell and Lowell. 2For more than thirty-fi ve years, his practice focused exclusively on environmental law and international treaties and regulations. 3Before coming to Lowell and Lowell, Mr. Smith received his bachelor’s degree in human physiology from Gonzaga University. 4In 1989, Mr. Smith graduated from Cornell University Law School, earning a J.D./LL.M in International and Comparative Law. 5In his many years at Lowell and Lowell, Mr. Smith became known for litigation for stricter standards for watershed pollution control. 6He regularly represented clients in environmental cases where individual plaintiffs sought statutory and/or punitive damages on behalf of themselves and a class. 7Over the years, Mr. Smith successfully litigated numerous high profi le class actions against pharmaceutical companies, gas and oil companies, and the commercial fi shing industry. 8He worked on public safety initiatives along the Mississippi and Gulf Coast areas and made frequent trips to meet with people in those regions. 9In 2012, he successfully won a class action suit against British Petroleum for the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. 10In 2014, he testifi ed in the congressional hearing for new EPA standards; his testimony was key to the passing of the standards. 11At his retirement party last month, several clients spoke warmly and appreciatively about his tireless work on their behalf, and the fi rm presented Mr. Smith with a special plaque commemorating his many achievements.
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The End of Smallpox
1The deadly infectious disease known as smallpox killed millions over the centuries. 2Today, however, the disease has been completely eliminated. 3Smallpox began in Africa, some scientists believe, and then moved to Asia thousands of years ago. 4The fi rst signs that smallpox could be eradicated came about one thousand years ago in Asia. 5About the year 1040, it was discovered that pulverizing the scabs of smallpox victims and blowing the dust into the nose of a healthy person would make that person immune. 6Then, at the end of the eighteenth century, a British doctor, Edward Jenner, found that farmworkers who got cowpox, a disease that attacks cows and oxen, became immune to smallpox. 7Cowpox also affects rodents such as mice and voles. 8Soon thereafter, Jenner developed a vaccine by using the pus in a farmworker’s cowpox boil to make a serum that he injected into a healthy young boy. 9Several weeks later, the boy was exposed to smallpox, but he never developed the disease. 10In the late 1960s, an attempt to eradicate smallpox was launched by the World Health Organization, and since 1980, no additional cases of smallpox have been confi rmed.
ABOUT UNITY 1. Which paragraph lacks a topic sentence?
Write a topic sentence for the paragraph.
2. Which sentence in “The End of Smallpox” should be omitted in the interest
of paragraph unity? (Write the sentence number here.)
ABOUT SUPPORT 3. What is for you the best (most real and vivid) detail or image in the
paragraph “Heartbreak”?
What is the best detail or image in “James Smith’s Remarkable Career”?
QUESTIONS
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What is the best detail or image in “The End of Smallpox”?
4. Which paragraph includes the actual words spoken by the participants?
ABOUT COHERENCE 5. Do the three paragraphs use time order or emphatic order to organize details?
6. What are the seven transition words or phrases used in “The End of Smallpox”?
Developing a Narrative Paragraph Development through Prewriting Gary’s instructor was helping her students think of topics for their narrative para-
graphs. “A narrative is simply a story that illustrates a point,” she said. “That point
is often about an emotion you felt. Looking at a list of emotions may help you think
of a topic. Ask yourself what incident in your life has made you feel any of these
emotions.”
The instructor then jotted these feelings on the board:
Anger Thankfulness
Embarrassment Loneliness
Jealousy Sadness
Amusement Terror
Confusion Relief
As Gary looked over the list, he thought of several experiences in his life. “The
word ‘angry’ made me think about a time when I was a kid. My brother took my
skateboard without permission and left it in the park, where it got stolen. ‘Amused’
made me think of when I watched my roommate, who claimed he spoke Spanish,
try to bargain with a street vendor in Mexico. He got so fl ustered that he ended up
paying even more than the vendor had originally asked for. When I got to ‘sad’,
though, I thought about when I visited Bonnie and found out she was dating some-
one else. ‘Sad’ wasn’t a strong enough word, though—I was heartbroken. So I
decided to write about heartbreak.”
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298 Part 2 Paragraph Development
I hadn’t ex pect ed to see Bonnie until Christ mas. We’d got engaged just before she
went off to college. Th e drive to Penn State took ten hours each way and that seemed
like to much driving for just a weekend visit. But I realized I had a long weekend
over Th anksgiving I dec ided to surprise her. I think down deep I knew somet hing was
wrong. She had sounded sort of cool on the phone and she hadn’t been writing as oft en.
I guess I wanted to convince myself that everything was OK. We’d been dating since we
were 16 and I couldn’t imagine not being with her. When I knocked at her dorm door
I remember how she was smiling wh en she opened the door. Her ex press ion changed to
one of surprise. Not happ y surprise. I hugg ed her and she sort of hugg ed me back but
like you’d hug your brot her. Anot her girl was in the room. Bonnie said, “Th is is Pam,”
and Pam shot out of the room like I had a disease. Everything seemed wrong and
confused. I started taking off my sweater and then I saw it. On a bullet in board was
this phot o of Bonnie with Blake, the guy she had been mess ing around with. Th ey broke
up about a year later, but by then I never wanted to see Bonnie again. I couldn’t believe
Bonnie would start seeing somebody else wh en we were planning to get marr ied. It
had even been her idea to get engaged. Before she left for college. Later on I realized
that wasn’t the fi rst dishones t thing she’d done. I got out of there as quick as I could.
Development through Revising Gary knew that the fi rst, freewritten version of his paragraph needed work. Here
are the comments he made after he reread it the following day.
“Although my point is supp osed to be that my visit to Bonnie was heartbreaking,
I didn’t really get that across . I need to say more about how the ex perience felt.
“I’ve included some information that does n’t really supp ort my point. For
instance, wh at happ ened to Bonnie and Blake later isn’t important here. Also, I think
continued
Gary’s fi rst step was to do some freewriting. Without worrying about spelling
or grammar, he simply wrote down everything that came into his mind concerning
his visit to Bonnie. Here is what he came up with:
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I spend too much time ex plaining the circumstances of the visit. I need to get more
quickly to the point wh ere I arr ived at Bonnie’s dorm.
“I think I should include more dialogue, too. Th at would make the reader feel
more like a witness to wh at really happ ened.”
With this self-critique in mind, Gary revised his paragraph until he had produced
the version that appears on pages 294–295.
Writing a Narrative Paragraph
Write a paragraph that narrates one of the scenarios listed below.
• A time when one of your ideas or beliefs was challenged or destroyed
• How a story/movie or character in a story/movie had a great effect on you
• A time when you witnessed an act of heroism
• An experience you had in another country
• Your best or worst job interview
• A time when you failed or succeeded at something
The experience you write about should be limited in time, like the experiences in
“Heartbreak,” which occurred within a relatively short period.
PREWRITING a. Begin by freewriting. Think of an experience or event that caused you to
feel a certain emotion strongly. Then spend ten minutes writing freely about
the experience. Do not worry at this point about such matters as spelling or
grammar or putting things in the right order. Instead, just try to get down all
the details you can think of that seem related to the experience.
b. This preliminary writing will help you decide whether your topic is
promising enough to develop further. If it is not, choose another scenario
and repeat step a. If it does seem promising, do three things:
• First, write your topic sentence, underlining the emotion you will focus
on. For example, “My fi rst job interview for a teaching position was one
of the most embarrassing days of my life.”
• Second, make a list of all the details involved in the experience.
• Then number these details according to the order in which they occurred.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1
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300 Part 2 Paragraph Development
FOUR BASES Checklist: Narration
ABOUT UNITY
Does my paragraph have a clearly stated topic sentence, including a domi-
nant impression?
Are there any off -topic sentences I should eliminate for the sake of para-
graph unity?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I provided rich, specifi c details that will appeal to my reader?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have I used time order to narrate the experience from beginning to end?
Have I used time signals to help readers follow my train of thought?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I carefully proofread my paragraph for spelling and other sentence
skills, as listed on the inside back cover of the book?
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my paragraph?
Have I used specifi c rather than general words?
Have I used verb tenses consistently and correctly? (Th is is especially im-
portant when relaying a story.)
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you can answer “yes” to each of these questions.
c. Referring to your list of details, write a rough draft of your paragraph. Use
time signals such as fi rst, then, after, next, while, during, and fi nally to help connect details as you move from the beginning to the middle to the end
of your narrative. Be sure to include not only what happened but also how
you felt about what was going on.
REVISING Put your fi rst draft away for a day or so. When you return to it, read it over, asking
yourself these questions.
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When applying for scholarships, students often submit copies of their tran-
scripts, a resume that demonstrates their community service and school in-
volvement, and a letter stating their qualifications. For this assignment, write
a story about yourself that demonstrates why you should be awarded the
scholarship.
PREWRITING a. If you are unsure of the types of scholarship available to students, speak
with someone in your school’s fi nancial aid offi ce or search online at a site
like CollegeBoard.com.
b. Decide what points you will make about why you deserve the scholarship.
What things have you done that make you worthy? How can you best
demonstrate your qualifi cations?
c. Write your topic sentence. The topic sentence should state why you
deserve and qualify for the scholarship. Here are some possibilities:
Although my grades may not be as high as some students, the experiences I have had working to help support my family since I was fourteen tell what has been most signifi cant in my life.
The changes I have gone through as I have volunteered at the animal shelter have prepared me to be a great veterinarian and an ideal candidate for the Bonner County Biology Scholarship.
d. Use the questioning technique to remind yourself of details that will make
your narrative come alive. Ask yourself questions like these and write
down your answers:
• What are the scholarship requirements?
• How do I qualify for the scholarship?
• What incidents or experiences in my past support my application?
• Why should I get the scholarship over other applicants?
e. Drawing details from the notes you have written, write the fi rst draft of
your paragraph. Remember to use time signals such as then, after that, during, meanwhile, and fi nally to connect one sentence to another.
REVISING After you have put your paragraph away for a day, read it to a friend who will give
you honest feedback. You and your friend should consider the questions in the Four
Bases checklist on the next page.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2
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302 Part 2 Paragraph Development
FOUR BASES Checklist: Narration
ABOUT UNITY
Does my topic sentence make a general point about why I should receive
the scholarship?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have I provided rich, specifi c details that will appeal to my reader?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Is the sequence of events made clear by transitional words such as fi rst,
later, and then?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have I carefully proofread my paragraph for spelling and other sentence
skills, as listed on the inside back cover of the book?
Have I used a consistent point of view throughout my paragraph?
Have I avoided wordiness?
Are my sentences varied?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you and your reader can answer “yes” to each
of these questions.
Write a one-paragraph e-mail to your boss describing how something at the com-
pany could be done better. In your paragraph, identify the problem—supporting it
with a story that demonstrates the problem. Your story should include details about a
specifi c incident that occurred, which revealed or uncovered the nature and depth of
the problem. Then suggest a possible solution. You must explain why your solution
will work, so you will want to check Chapter 16, “Argument,” to help you create
a persuasive tone for both your story and solution. Keep in mind that writing to a
boss requires formal language and detailed support. A memo also requires proper
formatting that includes the sender, addressee, date, and subject matter. Refer to the
following sample memo, which illustrates a topic sentence and proper formatting.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3
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Write a paragraph that shows the truth or falsity of a popular belief such as one
from the list below. Base your story on a personal experience, but feel free to fi c-
tionalize as well.
• Haste makes waste.
• Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
• A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
• It isn’t what you know; it’s who you know.
• You really never know people until you see them in an emergency.
• If you don’t help yourself, no one else will.
• An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
• You get what you pay for.
• A fool and his money are soon parted.
• Nice guys fi nish last.
To: Tom Jones
Subject: Paper Usage at Acme Widgets, Inc.
Attachment: 2012 HR Paper Report
Dear Mr. Jones:
I would like to relay an experience I’ve had recently that demonstrates what I feel is a serious problem concerning current paper usage at Acme Widgets, Inc., as well as offer a solution about how our company could save $1000 per month by making some very small changes.
Sincerely, Jane Smith Manager, Human Resources Acme Widgets, Incorporated 600 South Smith Road New York, NY 62210 (555) 555-5555 [email protected]
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4
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304 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Begin with a topic sentence that expresses your agreement or disagreement
with the saying or belief—for example:
“Never give advice to a friend” is not always good advice, as I learned after helping a friend reunite with her boyfriend.
Remember that the purpose of your story is to support your topic sentence.
Omit details that don’t support it. Also feel free to make up details that will.
Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience Your employer is updating the company’s Web site. One of the new features of the
Web site is a biographical anecdote for every employee. It is your job to write the
paragraph that will accompany your photo. Your anecdote should relate a signifi -
cant experience in your work life that illustrates such factors as, for example, your
work-related competencies, how your educational background has helped you on
the job, how long you have been with the company, or any major projects you
have completed. Keep in mind that this personal story is intended to help potential
clients get to know employees, so it should have a serious tone. A sample topic
sentence has also been provided for you:
On my fi rst day teaching at State University—fourteen years ago—something happened that immediately helped me understand why this was the right place for me to be working.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5
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Argument C H A P T E R
This chapter will explain and illustrate how to
• develop an argument paragraph
• write an argument paragraph
• revise an argument paragraph
In addition, you will read and evaluate
• three student argument paragraphs
IS PRIVACY A RIGHT OR PRIVILEGE? Do agencies like the National Security Agency and state and local police have the right to invade our private lives? Do you think a person’s right to privacy is more important than national security? Write a paragraph in which you argue for or against a person’s full right to privacy.
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306 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Strategies for Argument Because argument assumes controversy, you have to work especially hard to con-
vince readers of your position. Here are four strategies you can use to help win
over readers whose viewpoint may differ from yours.
Provide Logical Support The best way to prove a point or to persuade someone to do something is simply
to provide enough evidence or support for your position. Thus, if you are trying to
persuade the president of your college to hire more librarians, you might explain
that you had to wait for more than an hour to get the help you needed when recently
researching a paper topic.
But you wouldn’t stop there. You might get a hundred other students to attest to
the same problem by signing a petition. You might also fi nd out the student-librarian
Most of us know someone who enjoys a good argument. Such a person usu-
ally challenges any sweeping statement we might make. “Why do you say
that?” he or she will ask. “Give your reasons.” Our questioner then listens
carefully as we cite our reasons, waiting to see if we really do have solid
evidence to support our point of view. In an argument such as the one going
on in the cartoon, the two parties each present their supporting evidence.
The goal is to determine who has the more solid evidence to support his or
her point of view. A questioner may make us feel a bit nervous, but we may
also appreciate the way he or she makes us think through our opinions.
The ability to advance sound, compelling arguments is an important
skill in everyday life. We can use argument to get an extension on a term
paper, obtain a favor from a friend, or convince an employer that we are
the right person for a job. Understanding persuasion based on clear, logi-
cal reasoning can also help us see through the sometimes faulty arguments
advanced by advertisers, editors, politicians, and others who try to bring
us over to their side.
In this chapter, you will be asked to argue a position and defend it with
a series of solid reasons. In a general way, you are doing the same thing with
all the paragraph assignments in the book: making a point and then support-
ing it. The difference here is that, in a more direct and formal manner, you
will advance a point about which you feel strongly and seek to persuade
others to agree with you.
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ratios at other colleges and compare them with
the ratio at your school. Finally, you might con-
duct a survey to estimate the number of students
who use the library each semester or the num-
ber of research papers that are assigned at your
school each term. All of this would provide hard
evidence to help you make your case. Of course,
you would want to present your position logically
and fairly. In this case, it seems only logical and
fair that if students are being requested to do li-
brary research, enough librarians should be on
hand to assist them.
Another good example is demonstrated in
“Recommendation for Continued Employment,”
one of the sample paragraphs below. In this
paragraph, several distinct and specifi c factors
are provided as evidence to support the writer’s
position.
Anticipate Opposing Arguments Another way to strengthen your argument is to anticipate and address opposing
arguments. Let’s say the college’s budget is stretched to the limit. If so, the college
president might respond to your argument simply by stating that the lack of funds
prevents the hiring of more librarians. If you believe this to be true, the fi rst thing
to do is to admit that it is. The next is to offer a solution to the problem, perhaps by
suggesting that money from a less important aspect of college operations be shifted
to the library’s budget. Of course, if you don’t believe that the opposing argument is
true, you will have to disprove it convincingly before you move on.
Establish Your Credibility Yet another important requirement for arguing persuasively is to establish your
credibility. In other words, you will need to convince your readers that you know
what you are talking about and that your opinion is sound. For example, in “Living
Alone,” a student paragraph that follows, the writer establishes his credibility by
telling us that he “lived alone for ten years before [he] got married.”
Appeal to Your Audience Finally, remember that tone and audience are even more important to argument
than to other types of writing. While you may want to appeal to your readers’ self-
interest and emotions, try to remain as clear, levelheaded, and courteous as you
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In what ways does this cartoon represent a “good” argument? At the same time, what makes it humorous?
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308 Part 2 Paragraph Development
can. Because you are attempting to persuade readers to accept your viewpoint, it is
important not to anger them by referring to them or their opinions in rude or belit-
tling terms. Stay away from sweeping statements like “Everybody knows that….”
or “People with any intelligence agree that….” Also, keep the focus on the issue
you are discussing, not on the people involved in the debate. Don’t write, “My opponents claim that surveillance cameras are acceptable in all public spaces.” Instead, write, “Supporters of widespread use of surveillance cameras say that cameras should be allowed in all public spaces.” Terms like my opponents imply that the argument is between you and anyone who disagrees with you. By contrast,
saying supporters of widespread use of surveillance cameras suggests that those who don’t agree with you are nevertheless reasonable people who are willing to
consider differing opinions.
Evaluating Student Paragraphs
Let’s Ban Proms
1While many students regard proms as peak events in high school life, I believe that high school proms should be banned. 2One reason is that even before the prom takes place, it causes problems. 3Teenagers are separated into “the ones who were asked” and “the ones who weren’t.” 4Being one of those who weren’t asked can be heartbreaking to a sensitive young person. 5Another pre-prom problem is money. 6The price of the various items needed can add up quickly to a lot of money. 7The prom itself can be unpleasant and frustrating, too. 8At the beginning of the evening, the girls enviously compare dresses while the boys sweat nervously inside their rented suits. 9During the dance, the couples who have gotten together only to go to the prom have split up into miserable singles. 10When the prom draws to a close, the popular teenagers drive off happily to other parties while the less popular ones head home, as usual. 11Perhaps the main reason proms should be banned, however, is the drinking and driving that go on after the prom is over. 12Teenagers pile into their cars on their way to “after-proms” and pull out the bottles and cans stashed under the seat. 13By the time the big night is fi nally over, at 4 or 5 A.M., students are trying to weave home without encountering the police or a roadside tree. 14Some of them do not make it, and prom night turns into tragedy. 15For all these reasons, proms have no place in our schools.
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Recommendation for Continued Employment
1After evaluating Ms. Davis, the committee recommends that she be offered a contract to continue teaching in the English Department for the 2014–2015 school year. 2It is evident that Ms. Davis is highly knowledgeable about the subject matter. 3In the two years she has been teaching, she has taught English Composition I and II, Women’s Literature, Humanities Past and Present, American Indian Literature, and Masterpieces of American Literature. 4Her degrees in composition and rhetoric and anthropology are an asset to our department. 5Because her background is varied, she is able to teach a diversity of courses with a strong body of knowledge that has proven to be valuable to our students. 6Second, her rapport with students is also to be commended. 7As her evaluations demonstrate, Ms. Davis often spends several hours a week tutoring students who are struggling and working with students who want to go further. 8She has even offered extra study sessions outside of normal classroom time in preparation for examinations. 9Very few professors offer extra study sessions. 10Additionally, her commitment to the college community has been outstanding. 11She has participated in the First Learning Year Team, the Senate Curriculum Committee, the Global Education and Assessment Team, and the Small Technology Committee. 12Many colleagues have submitted letters of support applauding her collegiality and passion for education. 13Finally, in keeping with our mission of “serving communities,” Ms. Davis has been a volunteer at Literacy Now, a non-profi t adult literacy group. 14She volunteers six hours a week as a literacy tutor, and during the summer is a literacy trainer. 15Ms. Davis is an asset to the English Department and should be offered continued employment.
Living Alone
1Living alone is quite an experience. 2I know because I lived alone for ten years before I got married. 3People who live alone, for one thing, have to learn to do all kinds of tasks by themselves. 4They must learn— even if they have had no experience—to put up curtains and shades, set up an Internet router, temporarily dam an overfl owing toilet, cook a meal, and sort the laundry. 5When there is no father, husband, mother, or wife to depend on, a person can’t fall back on the excuse, “I don’t know how to do that.” 6Those who live alone also need the strength to deal with people. 7Alone, singles must face noisy neighbors, unresponsive landlords, dishonest repair people, and aggressive bill collectors. 8Because there
continued
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310 Part 2 Paragraph Development
ABOUT UNITY 1. The topic sentence in “Living Alone” is too broad. Circle the topic sentence
below that states accurately what the paragraph is about.
a. Living alone can make one a better person.
b. Living alone can create feelings of loneliness.
c. Living alone should be avoided.
2. Which sentence in “Recommendation for Continued Employment” should
be eliminated in the interest of paragraph unity? (Write the sentence number here.)
3. How many reasons are given to support the topic sentence in each paragraph?
a. In “Let’s Ban Proms” one two three four
b. In “Recommendation for Continued Employment”
one two three four
c. In “Living Alone” one two three four
4. After which sentence in “Let’s Ban Proms” are more specifi c details needed?
ABOUT COHERENCE 5. Which paragraph uses a combination of time and emphatic order to
organize its details?
6. What are the three main transition words or phrases in “Living Alone”?
are no buffers between themselves and the outside world, people living alone have to handle every visitor—friendly or unfriendly—alone. 9Finally, singles need a large dose of courage to cope with occasional panic and unavoidable loneliness. 10That weird thump in the night is even more terrifying when there is no one in the next bed or the next room. 11Frightening weather or unexpected bad news is doubly bad when the worry can’t be shared. 12Even when life is going well, little moments of sudden loneliness can send shivers through the heart. 13Struggling through such bad times taps into reserves of courage that people may not have known they possessed. 14Facing everyday tasks, confronting all types of people, and handling panic and loneliness can shape singles into brave, resourceful, and more independent people.
QUESTIONS
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Complete the outline below of “Recommendation for Continued Employment”
by summarizing in a few words the supporting material that fi ts under the topic
sentence. Write in the main points of support for the topic sentence. In the spaces
after the letters, write in the examples used to support the four main points. Three
items have been provided for you.
Topic sentence: After evaluating Ms. Davis, the committee recommends that she be offered a contract to continue teaching in the English Department for the 2014–2015 school year.
1.
a.
b.
c.
2.
a.
b.
3.
a.
b.
4.
a.
b.
Evident that Ms. Davis is highly knowledgeable about the subj ect matt er
Off ered ext ra study sess ions outside of normal class room time
Volunteers as literacy tutor six hours a week
ACTIVITY 1
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312 Part 2 Paragraph Development
ACTIVITY 2 As discussed in this chapter, learning to create an argument in writing is an impor- tant skill. However, arguments can often be made through images as well.
As you look at this poster, analyze the argument being
made. What message does the image convey? Is the argu-
ment effective? Why or why not?
Study this poster. Summarize its message in one sen-
tence. How do its elements work to create a particular im-
pression? Is its argument different from the poster above?
Which poster is more effective in your opinion? Why?
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Developing an Argument Paragraph Development through Prewriting Yolanda is the student author of “Let’s Ban Proms.” She decided on her topic after
visiting her parents’ home one weekend and observing her younger brother’s con-
cern about his upcoming prom.
“I really felt bad for Martin as I saw what he was going through,” Yolanda
said. “He’s usually a happy kid who enjoys school. But this weekend he wasn’t
talking about his track meets or term papers or any of the things he’s usually
chatting about. Instead he was all tied up in knots about his prom. The girl he’d
really wanted to go with had already been asked, and so friends had fi xed him
up with a girl he barely knew who didn’t have a date either. Neither of them was
excited about being together, but they felt that they just ‘had’ to go. And now
he’s worried about how to afford renting a tux, and how will he get a cool car to
go in, and all that stuff. It’s shaping up to be a really stressful, expensive evening.
When I was in high school, I saw a lot of bad things associated with the prom,
too. I hate to see young kids feeling pressured to attend an event that is fun for
only a few.”
Yolanda began prewriting by making a list of all the negative aspects of proms.
This is what she came up with:
Drinking aft er prom
Car accidents (most important!)
Compet ition for dates
Preparation for prom cuts into school hours
Reject ion of not being asked
Waste of school money
Going with someone you don’t like
Separates popular fr om unpopular
Expensive
Bad-tempered chaperones
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314 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Next, Yolanda numbered the details in the order she was going to present them.
She also struck out details she decided not to use:
6 Drinking aft er prom
7 Car accidents (most important!)
3 Compet ition for dates
Preparation for prom cuts into school hours
1 Reject ion of not being asked
Waste of school money
4 Going with someone you don’t like
5 Separates popular fr om unpopular
2 Expensive
Bad-tempered chaperones
In my opinion, high school proms should be banned. First, they cause
unhapp iness by separating students into “the ones wh o were asked” and “the ones
wh o weren’t.” Proms are also ex pensive, as anyone wh o has att ended one knows.
Th e compet ition for dates can damage previously strong fr iendships. Many couples
get toget her only in order to have a date for the prom and do not enjoy each ot her’s
company. Aft er the prom, too, the kids are separated into “more popular” and “less
popular” groups, with the popular ones going to aft er-prom parties . Th e bigg es t reason
to ban proms, though, is the prom-night drinking that commonly occurs. Teenagers
hide liq uor in their cars and then try to drive home drunk. Some of them do not
make it. For all thes e reasons, proms should be banned.
Drawing from these notes, Yolanda wrote the following fi rst draft of her paragraph:
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Development through Revising Yolanda’s instructor reviewed her fi rst draft and made these comments:
Th e order of your paragraph could be made stronger. Although you make good
use of emphatic order (by ending with “the bigg es t reason to ban proms”), it’s less clear
that the paragraph is also organized according to time—in ot her words, you move
fr om before the prom starts to during the prom to aft er it. Bett er use of transitional
language will make the organization more clear.
Also, you could make the paragraph more alive by including concret e det ails
and illustrations. Your main points would be stronger with such supp ort.
With these comments in mind, Yolanda revised her paragraph until she produced
the version that appears on page 308.
Writing an Argument Paragraph
Choose one of the topics below and follow the directions. The purpose is to take a
strong stand. You must support your claim with at least three reasons.
• Write a letter to the editor arguing against or supporting the banning of a
specifi c book like To Kill a Mockingbird, Slaughterhouse Five, The Adven- tures of Huckleberry Finn, or a book of your choosing.
• Write a letter to the editor arguing that cigarette and alcohol advertising on
television and in magazines should (or should not) be banned.
• Your college has just announced that the grading scale is going to be
changed from a 10-point scale (80-90, 90-100) to a 7-point scale (87-93,
94-100). Write a paragraph in which you support or oppose this decision.
• Your local school district is going to require all students to wear school
uniforms. Write a paragraph (either as a student attending or as a parent)
in which you support or oppose this decision.
• As you are applying for a new job, your potential employer requests to see
your social networking profi les. Write a letter expressing why you don’t
think this is a valid way to check a potential employee’s background.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1
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316 Part 2 Paragraph Development
• As you are starting your new job, you are informed that you get eight days
of holiday and vacation time a year. Write a paragraph explaining why you
believe you should get more holidays and longer vacations.
• Since the current age for a person to get his or her own credit card is
eighteen, many credit card companies canvas college campuses and
encourage college students to sign up for multiple cards. Write a paragraph
arguing that the minimum age for a credit card should be raised from
eighteen to twenty-one years.
PREWRITING a. Make up brief outlines for any three of the statements above. Make sure
you have three separate and distinct reasons for each statement. Below is
an example of a brief outline for a paragraph making another point.
Large cities should outlaw pass enger cars.
1. Cut down on smog and pollution
2. Cut down on noise
3. Make more room for pedes trians
Deal with power failures Noisy neighbors
Nasty landlords Develop courage
Scary noises at night Do all the cooking
Spiders Home repairs
Bill collect ors Obscene phone calls
Frightening storms Loneliness
b. Decide, perhaps through discussion with your instructor or classmates,
which of your outlines is the most promising for development into a para-
graph. Make sure your supporting points are logical by asking yourself in
each case, “Does this item truly support my topic sentence?”
c. Do some prewriting. Prepare a list of all the details you can think of that
might support your point. Don’t limit yourself; include more details than
you can actually use. Here, for example, are details generated by the
writer of “Living Alone”:
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d. Decide which details you will use to develop your paragraph. Number the
details in the order in which you will present them. Because presenting the
strongest reason last (emphatic order) is the most effective way to organize
an argument paragraph, be sure to save your most powerful reason for last.
Here is how the author of “Living Alone” made decisions about details:
1 Deal with power failures
4 Nasty landlords
7 Scary noises at night
Spiders
6 Bill collect ors
8 Frightening storms
5 Noisy neighbors
10 Develop courage
2 Do all the cooking
3 Home repairs
Obscene phone calls
9 Loneliness
e. Write the fi rst draft of your paragraph. As you write, develop each rea-
son with specifi c details. For example, in “Living Alone,” notice how the
writer makes the experience of living alone come alive with phrases like
“That weird thump in the night” or “little moments of sudden loneliness
can send shivers through the heart.”
REVISING Put your paragraph away for a day or so. Then look over the checklist that follows.
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318 Part 2 Paragraph Development
FOUR BASES Checklist: Argument
ABOUT UNITY
Imagine that your audience is a jury who will ultimately render a verdict on
your argument. Have you presented a convincing case? If you were on the
jury, would you both understand and be favorably impressed by this
argument?
Does every one of your supporting points help prove the argument stated
in your topic sentence?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Have you backed up your points of support with specifi c details?
Have you appealed to your readers’ senses with these details?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Have you used emphatic order in your paragraph, saving the most impor-
tant, strongest detail for last?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Have you used strong verbs (rather than is and to be) throughout?
Have you used active verbs in your writing?
Have you checked your paper for sentence-skills mistakes, including spell-
ing? Use the checklist on the inside back cover of this book.
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you can answer “yes” to each of these questions.
Write a paragraph in which you take a stand on one of the controversial points
below. Support the point with three reasons.
• Students should not be required to attend high school.
• Prisoners who have served their time and who have been released should
be allowed to vote.
• The government should set up centers where sick or elderly people can live
at a minimal cost to them or their family.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2
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• College writing classes should be on a pass/fail system.
• Students should be required to take an age-appropriate economics class
every year from fi rst grade through twelfth grade.
• Public schools should mandate school uniforms.
• Prostitution should be legalized.
• People older than ninety-fi ve should be prohibited from driving.
• No state should allow legal use of medical marijuana.
PREWRITING a. As a useful exercise to help you begin developing your argument, your
instructor might give class members a chance to “stand up” for what they
believe in. One side of the front of the room should be designated strong agreement and the other side strong disagreement, with an imaginary line representing varying degrees of agreement or disagreement in between.
The instructor will read one value statement at a time from the list above,
and students will move to the appropriate spot, depending on their degree
of agreement or disagreement. Some time will be allowed for students,
fi rst, to discuss with those near them the reasons they are standing where
they are; and, second, to state to those at the other end of the scale the rea-
sons for their position.
b. Begin your paragraph by writing a sentence that expresses your attitude
toward one of the value statements above—for example, “I feel that prosti-
tution should be legalized.”
c. Outline the reason or reasons you hold the opinion that you do. Your sup-
port may be based on your own experience, the experience of someone
you know, or logic. For example, an outline of a paragraph based on one
student’s logic looked like this:
I feel that prostitution should be legalized for the following reasons:
1. Prostitutes would then have to pay their fair share of income tax.
2. Government health centers would administ er regular chec kups. Th is would
help prevent the spread of AIDS and venereal disease.
3. Prostitutes would be able to work openly and independently and would not be
controlled by pimps and gangsters.
4. Most of all, prostitutes would be less looked down on—an att itude that is
psy chologically damaging to those wh o may already have emot ional problems.
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320 Part 2 Paragraph Development
d. Write a fi rst draft of your paragraph, providing specifi c details to back up
each point in your outline.
REVISING Put your paragraph away for at least a day. Ask a friend whose judgment you trust
to read and critique it. Your friend should consider each of these questions.
FOUR BASES Checklist: Argument
ABOUT UNITY
Does the topic sentence clearly state the writer’s opinion on a controversial
subject?
ABOUT SUPPORT
Does the paragraph include at least three separate and distinct reasons that
support the author’s argument?
Is each of the three reasons backed up by specifi c, relevant evidence?
ABOUT COHERENCE
Has the author saved the most powerful reason for last?
ABOUT SENTENCE SKILLS
Has the author used a consistent point of view throughout the paragraph?
Has the author used specifi c rather than general words?
Has the author avoided wordiness?
Has the author checked for spelling and other sentence skills, as listed on
the inside back cover of the book?
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
Continue revising your work until you and your reader can answer “yes” to each
of these questions.
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Where do you think it is best to bring up children—in the country, the suburbs,
or the city? Write a paragraph in which you argue that one of those three environ-
ments is best for families with young children. Your argument should cover two
types of reasons: (1) the advantages of living in the environment you’ve chosen and
(2) the disadvantages of living in the other places. Use the following, or something
much like it, for your topic sentence:
For families with young children, (the country, a suburb, or the city) is the best place to live.
For each reason you advance, include at least one persuasive example. For in-
stance, if you argue that the cultural life in the city is one important reason to live
there, you should explain in detail how going to a science museum is interesting and
helpful to children. After deciding on your points of support, arrange them in a brief
outline, saving your strongest point for last. In your paragraph, introduce each of your
reasons with an addition transition, such as fi rst of all, another, also, and fi nally.
Currently, when high school students in America graduate, they have the option
of continuing their education or working, in contrast to countries like Switzerland
and Israel that require either military or civilian service for a minimum period of
time. Some countries, like Austria, allow conscientious objectors to participate in a
civilian corps instead of military service. In this assignment, you are to argue that
all high school graduates must participate in AmeriCorps for a minimum of twelve
months. Your argument will require you to visit the AmeriCorps Web site (http://
www.americorps.gov) to learn about the three different programs and their projects
and benefi ts. Use the following, or something similar, for your topic sentence:
Upon graduating from high school, all American students should be required to participate in AmeriCorps for a minimum period of twelve months, after which they can enter college, enter the workforce, or re-enter AmeriCorps.
For each reason you advance, include at least one persuasive example. Support
can be presented as narrative stories from your life, as contrasting examples, and/or
as steps in a process. If you use facts to support your argument, and these facts come
from the AmeriCorps Web site, you will need to credit your source in order to avoid
plagiarism. After deciding on your points of support, arrange them in a brief out-
line, saving your strongest point for last. In your paragraph, introduce each of your
reasons with an additional transition, such as fi rst of all, another, also, and fi nally.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4
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322 Part 2 Paragraph Development
Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this argument paragraph, you will write with a specifi c purpose and for a specifi c
audience. Imagine you have just returned from a trip to England. While you were
there, you discovered that students are awarded for being in school by receiving
discounted tickets on trains, in the theaters, and to museums. You have decided to
write a letter to your local city council, urging them to encourage local businesses
to start offering discounts to students. Be sure to address how this will benefi t both
students and business owners.
For instance, you might suggest that the local art museum offer a fi ve-dollar
admission price to students, which could increase student interest, possibly lead-
ing to future volunteer docents. If your city has a professional sports team, you
could suggest that the team allow students to purchase same day tickets for ten
dollars, increasing the future fan base, as well as ensuring larger crowds at games.
Or you might suggest that local restaurants offer students a 15 percent discount on
their bills within specifi c hours, thus encouraging business during typically slower
times.
Because many businesses may not want to increase the number of students vis-
iting their establishments, you will need to construct a strong objective argument
that will demonstrate specifi cs ways in which the businesses could actually profi t.
In addition to the kinds of ideas included above, you might point out that stu-
dent use of social media could lead to increased patronage—students will be more
likely to publicly promote those businesses who recognize them as appreciated
customers. In sum, a good argument will emphasize that offering these discounts
is a win-win situation for both parties involved.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5
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Write two to three paragraphs about what you plan to do after graduating from college.
P R E V I E W
17 Writing the Essay
Essay Development
P A
R T
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HOW DO YOU COMMUNICATE BEST? Technology continues to change the way people communicate in their personal, college, and work lives. Write two or more paragraphs about a technology you use frequently that has changed the way you communicate with others.
This chapter will explain and illustrate
• the differences between a paragraph and an essay
• the structure of an essay
This chapter will also show how to
• plan an essay
• begin an essay
• tie an essay’s supporting paragraphs together
• conclude an essay
• prepare for and take an essay exam
In addition, you will read and consider
• one model essay
• three student essays
Writing the Essay C H A P T E R
HHHOOOWWW DDDOOO YYYOOOUUU CCCOOOMMMMMMUUUNNNIIICCCAAATTTEEE BBBEEESSSTTT??? Technology
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Chapter 17 Writing the Essay 325 C
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What Is an Essay? Diff erences Between an Essay and a Paragraph An essay is simply a paper of several paragraphs, rather than one paragraph, that
supports a single point. In an essay, subjects can and should be treated more fully
than they would in a single-paragraph paper. Unlike paragraphs that are usually de-
veloped using one mode of writing, like description, essays are usually developed
using several modes of writing to support the single point.
The main idea or point developed in an essay is called the thesis statement or thesis sentence (rather than, as in a paragraph, the topic sentence). The thesis state- ment appears in the introductory paragraph, and it is then developed in the support-
ing paragraphs that follow. A concluding paragraph closes the essay.
The nine different patterns of paragraph writing you learned in Part 2—
exemplifi cation, narration, description, process, cause and/or effect, comparison and/or contrast, defi nition, division-classifi cation, and argument—can also be used to write essays. Because essays are much longer works than paragraphs, it is com-
mon that multiple patterns are incorporated to fully support the thesis statement.
For example, a history student may need to employ exemplifi cation, cause and/or
effect, and argument in a class paper. Or a scientist preparing a report may need
to utilize description, defi nition, and argument to defend his or her hypothesis. A
real estate agent may employ description and narration to write about a house for
sale. Everyday writing involves determining which patterns to use and how best to
organize them to effectively support your purpose.
Th e Structure of an Essay The diagram on page 327 shows the basic structure of an essay with three support-
ing paragraphs. You can refer to this as a guide while writing your own essays.
Most college essays will require more than three paragraphs of support; how-
ever, the process of developing an essay remains the same regardless of the number
of supporting paragraphs.
A Model Essay Gene, the writer of the paragraph on working in an apple plant (page 4), later
decided to develop his subject more fully. Here is the essay that resulted.
My Job in an Apple Plant
1In the course of working my way through school, I have taken many jobs I would rather forget. 2I have spent nine hours a day lifting heavy automobile and truck batteries off the end of an assembly belt. 3I have
Introductory paragraph
continued
I t dd t
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326 Part 3 Essay Development
risked the loss of eyes and fi ngers working a punch press in a textile factory. 4I have served as a ward aide in a mental hospital, helping care for brain-damaged men who would break into violent fi ts at unexpected moments. 5But none of these jobs was as dreadful as my job in an apple plant. 6The work was physically hard; the pay was poor; and, most of all, the working conditions were dismal.
7First, the job made enormous demands on my strength and energy. 8For ten hours a night, I took cartons that rolled down a metal track and stacked them onto wooden skids in a tractor trailer. 9Each carton contained twelve heavy bottles of apple juice. 10A carton shot down the track about every fi fteen seconds. 11I once fi gured out that I was lifting an average of twelve tons of apple juice every night. 12When a truck was almost fi lled, I or my partner had to drag fourteen bulky wooden skids into the empty trailer nearby and then set up added sections of the heavy metal track so that we could start routing cartons to the back of the empty van. 13While one of us did that, the other performed the stacking work of two men.
14I would not have minded the diffi culty of the work so much if the pay had not been so poor. 15I was paid the minimum wage at that time, $4.50 an hour, plus just fi fty cents extra for working the night shift. 16Because of the low salary, I felt compelled to get as much overtime pay as possible. 17Everything over eight hours a night was time-and- a-half, so I typically worked twelve hours a night. 18On Friday I would sometimes work straight through until Saturday at noon—eighteen hours. 19I averaged over sixty hours a week but did not take home much more than $220.
20But even more than the low pay, what upset me about my apple plant job was the working conditions. 21Our humorless supervisor cared only about his production record for each night and tried to keep the assembly line moving at breakneck pace. 22During work I was limited to two ten-minute breaks and an unpaid half hour for lunch. 23Most of my time was spent outside on the truck loading dock in near-zero- degree temperatures. 24The steel fl oors of the trucks were like ice; the quickly penetrating cold made my feet feel like stone. 25I had no shared interests with the man I loaded cartons with, and so I had to work without companionship on the job. 26And after the production line shut down and most people left, I had to spend two hours alone scrubbing clean the apple vats, which were coated with a sticky residue.
27I stayed on the job for fi ve months, all the while hating the diffi culty of the work, the poor money, and the conditions under which I worked. 28By the time I quit, I was determined never to do such degrading work again.
First supporting paragraph
Second supporting paragraph
Third supporting paragraph
Concluding paragraph
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Introductory Paragraph
Introduction Thesis statement Plan of development: Points 1, 2, 3
First Supporting Paragraph
Topic sentence (point 1) Specifi c evidence
Second Supporting Paragraph
Topic sentence (point 2) Specifi c evidence
Third Supporting Paragraph
Topic sentence (point 3) Specifi c evidence
Concluding Paragraph
Summary, conclusion, or both
The introduction attracts the reader’s interest.
The thesis statement (or thesis sentence) states the main idea advanced in the
essay.
The plan of development is a list of points that support the thesis. The points are
presented in the order in which they will
be developed in the essay.
The topic sentence advances the fi rst sup- porting point for the thesis, and the spe- cifi c evidence in the rest of the paragraph develops that fi rst point.
The topic sentence advances the second supporting point for the thesis, and the
specifi c evidence in the rest of the para- graph develops that second point.
The topic sentence advances the third supporting point for the thesis, and the
specifi c evidence in the rest of the para- graph develops that third point.
A summary is a brief restatement of the thesis and its main points. A conclusion is a fi nal thought or two stemming from
the subject of the essay.
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328 Part 3 Essay Development
Important Points about the Essay Introductory Paragraph An introductory paragraph has certain purposes or functions and can be constructed
using various methods.
Purposes of the Introduction An introductory paragraph should do three things:
1. Attract the reader’s interest. Using one of the suggested methods of introduc- tion described below can help draw the reader into your essay.
2. Present a thesis sentence—a clear, direct statement of the central idea that you will develop in your essay. The thesis statement, like a topic sentence, should
have a key word or key words refl ecting your attitude about the subject. For
example, in the essay on the apple plant job, the key word is dreadful.
3. Indicate a plan of development—a preview of the major points that will support your thesis statement, listed in the order in which they will be
presented. In some cases, the thesis statement and plan of development may
appear in the same sentence. In some cases, also, the plan of development
may be omitted.
1. In “My Job in an Apple Plant,” which sentences are used to attract the
reader’s interest?
sentences 1 to 3 1 to 4 1 to 5
2. The thesis in “My Job in an Apple Plant” is presented in
sentence 4 sentence 5 sentence 6
3. Is the thesis followed by a plan of development?
Yes No
4. Which words in the plan of development announce the three major
supporting points in the essay? Write them below.
a.
b.
c.
ACTIVITY 1
Common Methods of Introduction Here are some common methods of introduction. Use any one method, or a combi-
nation of methods, to introduce your subject in an interesting way.
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1. Broad statement. Begin with a broad, general statement of your topic and narrow it down to your thesis statement. Broad, general statements ease the
reader into your thesis statement by providing a background for it. In “My
Job in an Apple Plant,” Gene writes generally on the topic of his worst jobs
and then narrows down to a specifi c worst job.
2. Contrast. Start with an idea or situation that is the opposite of the one you will develop. This approach works because your readers will be surprised, and then
intrigued, by the contrast between the opening idea and the thesis that follows
it. Here is an example of a “contrast” introduction by a student writer:
When I was a girl, I never argued with my parents about differences between their attitudes and mine. My father would deliver his judgment on an issue, and that was usually the end of the matter. Discussion seldom changed his mind, and disagreement was not tolerated. But the situation is different with today’s parents and children. My husband and I have to contend with radical differences between what our children think about a given situation and what we think about it. We have had disagreements with all three of our daughters, Stephanie, Diana, and Giselle.
The husky man pushes open the door of the bedroom and grins as he pulls out a .38 revolver. An elderly man wearing thin pajamas looks at him and whimpers. In a feeble effort at escape, the old man slides out of his bed and moves to the door of the room. The husky man, still
3. Relevance. Explain the importance of your topic. If you can convince your readers that the subject applies to them in some way, or is something they
should know more about, they will want to continue reading. The introduc-
tory paragraph of “Sports-Crazy America” (page 334) provides an example
of a “relevance” introduction.
4. Incident or story. Use an incident or brief story. Stories are naturally inter- esting. They appeal to a reader’s curiosity. In your introduction, an anecdote
will grab the reader’s attention right away. The story should be brief and
should be related to your central idea. The incident in the story can be some-
thing that happened to you, something that you may have heard about, or
something that you have read about in a newspaper or magazine. Here is an
example of a paragraph that begins with a story:
continued
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330 Part 3 Essay Development
5. Quotation. A quotation can be something you have read in a book or an article. It can also be something that you have heard: a popular saying or
proverb (“Never give advice to a friend”); a current or recent advertising
slogan (“Just do it”); a favorite expression used by your friends or family
(“My father always says . . .”). Using a quotation in your introductory para-
graph lets you add someone else’s voice to your own. Here is an example
of a paragraph that begins with a quotation:
grinning, blocks his way. With the face of a small, frightened animal, the old man looks up and whispers, “Oh, God, please don’t hurt me.” The grinning man then fi res four times. The television movie cuts now to a soap commercial, but the little boy who has been watching the set has begun to cry. Such scenes of direct violence on television must surely be harmful to children for a number of psychological reasons.
“Evil,” wrote the philosopher Martin Buber, “is lack of direction.” In my school days as a fatherless boy, with a mother too confused by her own life to really care for me, I strayed down a number of dangerous paths. Before my eighteenth birthday, I had been a car thief, a burglar, and a drug dealer.
The Spanish infl uenza (fl u) was a pandemic that, between 1918 and 1920, reached every corner of the earth, including the Arctic and the most remote Pacifi c islands. Unlike most other fl us, this one attacked healthy young men and women primarily, not the very old or the very young. Scientists estimate that the disease killed between 50 million and 100 million people worldwide. Even more signifi cantly, the Spanish infl uenza was caused by a strain of the H1N1 virus that threatens the world today.
6. Startling statement or statistic. Some essays start with statements or statistics (numbers) that may shock readers and get them so interested that
they want to read more. Read the following paragraph, which uses both
statistics and a startling statement:
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Supporting Paragraphs Many essays have three supporting points, detailed at length within three sepa-
rate paragraphs. However, more developed essays require four or more body para-
graphs to support the thesis. This is very common in essays with thesis statements
that omit a plan of development. Each of the supporting paragraphs should begin
with a topic sentence that states the point to be detailed in that paragraph. Just as a thesis provides a focus for the entire essay, the topic sentence provides a focus for
a supporting paragraph.
1. What is the topic sentence for the fi rst supporting paragraph of “My Job in
an Apple Plant”? (Write the sentence number here.)
2. What is the topic sentence for the second supporting paragraph?
3. What is the topic sentence for the third supporting paragraph?
Transitional Sentences In paragraphs, transitions and other connective devices (pages 92–101) are used to
help link sentences. Similarly, in an essay transitional sentences are used to help tie the supporting paragraphs together. Such transitional sentences usually occur
near the end of one paragraph or the beginning of the next.
In “My Job in an Apple Plant,” the fi rst transitional sentence is this:
ACTIVITY 2
ACTIVITY 3
I would not have minded the diffi culty of the work so much if the pay had not been so poor.
But even more than the low pay, what upset me about my apple plant job was the working conditions.
In this sentence, the key word diffi culty reminds us of the point of the fi rst support- ing paragraph, while pay tells us the point to be developed in the second supporting paragraph.
Here is the other transitional sentence in “My Job in an Apple Plant”:
Complete the following statement: In the sentence above, the key words
echo the point of the second supporting paragraph, and the key
words announce the topic of the third supporting paragraph.
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332 Part 3 Essay Development
Concluding Paragraph The concluding paragraph often summarizes the essay by briefl y restating the the-
sis and, at times, the main supporting points. Also, the conclusion brings the paper
to a natural and graceful end, sometimes leaving the reader with a fi nal thought on
the subject.
1. Which sentence in the concluding paragraph of “My Job in an Apple Plant”
restates the thesis and supporting points of the essay?
2. Which sentence contains the concluding thought of the essay?
Evaluating Student Essays Read the three student essays below and then answer the questions that follow.
ACTIVITY 4
Summer Read-a-thons
1I remember when I was growing up that I spent many sunny afternoons in my backyard. 2I was fortunate to have a carefree happy mother who enjoyed reading and helped books come alive. 3We would spread out a blanket on the long green grass and have read-a-thons together. 4Reading became a doorway into a new and exciting world that I have often chosen to enter. 5I fell in love with reading in my yard, where my kind mother helped me fi nd my imagination, learn about the world, and learn more about myself.
6At fi rst my mother would bribe me with candy and popcorn, enticing me onto the reading blanket, but soon I would gladly assemble near her ready for the adventures to begin. 7She would ask me what book I wanted to hear for the day. 8Did I want to listen to a story of a little mouse that lived in a hotel and snuck around at night, fl ying through the hallways on his real toy-sized motorcycle? 9Or perhaps I would prefer fi nding myself in the middle of the Salem witch trials running for my life with Kit Tyler from The Witch of Blackbird Pond?
10My mom would help me think about new ideas through books. 11We would read a story together and then discuss deep topics about what symbolism we found. 12One of my favorite discussions we had sparked from the book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH. 13It’s about Mrs. Frisby, a mother fi eld mouse and her determination to protect her children, especially her young, ill son. 14She needs additional help from some neighbors who happen to be rats. 15The other animals have
continued
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previously been afraid of the rats on this farm because they have strange ways and do strange things. 16Mrs. Frisby learns not to judge only by appearance. 17One young rat is especially notable as he gives his life for his fellow rats because it is the right thing to do. 18He became a hero of mine. 19As a young child I learned about service and sacrifi ce from this simple, yet beautifully told story of rats and mice. 20I learned not to be as judgmental, and my imagination grew abundantly.
21As I grew older, I developed a love for novels, biographies, and historical fi ction. 22I especially enjoyed reading about World War II. 23In the book The Hiding Place, by Corrie ten Boom, I felt as if I knew Corrie and her sister Betsie, and was alongside them as they helped hide Jews from the Gestapo. 24They had tremendous courage and became symbols of bravery and tenacity. 25I learned much from these young girls as I read about the Nazis taking all of their possessions and locking them into a concentration camp, and about how they suffered and endured so many indignities. 26If I am ever feeling sorry for myself or that the world is out to get me, I think about Corrie ten Boom and her story, and I am humbled and grateful for my simple life.
27Like the previous books, Catherine Clinton’s book also inspired me. 28In Harriet Tubman: The Road to Freedom, a book about the Underground Railroad during the Civil War era, Harriet helps to free three hundred slaves and guides them north to safety. 29I was in awe of the miracles that happened in her quest. 30No one was captured; again and again she found families to hide fl eeing slaves. 31I found myself wishing I could meet her and talk with her about how she became so daring, so willing to sacrifi ce her own life for others. 32An enjoyment of history developed from these books, and I couldn’t get enough of them. 33I wanted to immerse myself in them and learn about other leaders throughout history, what made them strong, what made them act! 34Harriet Tubman’s story inspired me to do more, to be less selfi sh, and to be more understanding of different cultures and different beliefs. 35I learned that it is good to have a strong opinion, but I should listen to others, and be compassionate in my judgments.
36Now that I am older, I am thankful my mother loved to read, and that she had the insight to hold those summer read-a-thons to help me develop a deep love of reading that has stayed with me throughout my life. 37I still think back to those summer days beside her in my yard, and the contentment I felt, hearing her laughter and gaining strength from her soft-spoken words. 38I remember the encouragement she gave me, telling me that I could do anything I put my mind to, and that I was smart and capable. 39I am grateful my mother brought reading to life, and I discovered a part of me that I hadn’t realized was there to fi nd.
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334 Part 3 Essay Development
Sports-Crazy America
1Almost all Americans are involved with sports in some way. 2They may play basketball or volleyball or go swimming or skiing. 3They may watch football or basketball games on the high school, college, or professional level. 4Sports may seem like an innocent pleasure, but it is important to look under the surface. 5In reality, sports have reached a point where they play too large a part in daily life. 6They take up too much media time, play too large a role in the raising of children, and give too much power and prestige to athletes.
7The overemphasis on sports can be seen most obviously in the vast media coverage of athletic events. 8It seems as if every bowl game play-off, tournament, trial, bout, race, meet, or match is shown on one television channel or another. 9On Saturday and Sunday, a check of TV Guide will show countless sports programs on network television alone,
and countless more on cable stations. 10In addition, sports make up about 30 percent of local news at six and eleven o’clock, and network world news shows often devote several minutes to major American sports events. 11Radio offers a full roster of games and a wide assortment of sports talk shows. 12Furthermore, many daily newspapers such as USA Today are devoting more and more space to sports coverage, often in an attempt to improve circulation. 13The newspaper with the biggest sports section is the one people will buy.
14The way we raise and educate our children also illustrates our sports mania. 15As early as age six or seven, kids are placed in little leagues, often to play under screaming coaches and pressuring parents. 16Later, in high school, students who are singled out by the school and by the community are not those who are best academically but those who are best athletically. 17And college sometimes seems to be more about sports than about learning. 18The United States may be the only country in the world where people often think of their colleges as teams fi rst and schools second. 19The names Ohio State, Notre Dame, and Southern Cal mean “sports” to the public.
continued
WHY DOES AN ATHLETE’S ENDORSEMENT help sell a product? Would you be willing to pay extra for a product, knowing that it cost more because of endorsement fees? Make a list of your responses and ideas.
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20Our sports craziness is especially evident in the prestige given to athletes in the United States. 21For one thing, we reward them with enormous salaries. 22In 2006, for example, baseball players averaged over $2.8 million a year; the average annual salary in the United States was $44,389. 23Besides their huge salaries, athletes receive the awe, the admiration, and sometimes the votes of the public. 24Kids look up to someone like LeBron James or Tom Brady as a true hero; adults wear the jerseys and jackets of their favorite teams. 25Former players become senators and congressmen. 26And a famous athlete like Serena Williams needs to make only one commercial for advertisers to see the sales of a product boom. 27Americans are truly mad about sports. 28Perhaps we like to see the competitiveness we experience in our daily lives acted out on playing fi elds. 29Perhaps we need heroes who can achieve clear-cut victories in a short time, of only an hour or two. 30Whatever the reason, the sports scene in this coun- try is more popular than ever.
An Interpretation of Lord of the Flies 1Modern history has shown us the evil that exists in human beings.
2Assassinations are common, governments use torture to discourage dissent, and six million Jews were exterminated during World War II. 3In Lord of the Flies, William Golding describes a group of schoolboys shipwrecked on an island with no authority fi gures to control their behavior. 4One of the boys soon yields to dark forces within himself, and his corruption symbolizes the evil in all of us. 5First, Jack Merridew kills a living creature; then, he rebels against the group leader; and fi nally, he seizes power and sets up his own murderous society.
6The fi rst stage in Jack’s downfall is his killing of a living creature. 7In Chapter 1, Jack aims at a pig but is unable to kill. 8His upraised arm pauses “because of the enormity of the knife descending and cutting into living fl esh, because of the unbearable blood,” and the pig escapes. 9Three chapters later, however, Jack leads some boys on a successful hunt. 10He returns triumphantly with a freshly killed pig and reports excitedly to the others, “I cut the pig’s throat.” 11Yet Jack twitches as he says this, and he wipes his bloody hands on his shorts as if eager to remove the stains. 12There is still some civilization left in him.
13After the initial act of killing the pig, Jack’s refusal to cooperate with Ralph shows us that this civilized part is rapidly disappearing. 14With no adults around, Ralph has made some rules. 15One is that a signal fi re must be kept burning. 16But Jack tempts the boys watching the fi re
continued
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336 Part 3 Essay Development
to go hunting, and the fi re goes out. 17Another rule is that at a meeting, only the person holding a special seashell has the right to speak. 18In Chapter 5, another boy is speaking when Jack rudely tells him to shut up. 19Ralph accuses Jack of breaking the rules. 20Jack shouts: “Bollocks to the rules! We’re strong—we hunt! If there’s a beast, we’ll hunt it down! We’ll close in and beat and beat and beat—!” 21He gives a “wild whoop” and leaps off the platform, throwing the meeting into chaos. 22Jack is now much more savage than civilized.
23The most obvious proof of Jack’s corruption comes in Chapter 8, when he establishes his own murderous society. 24Insisting that Ralph is not a “proper chief” because he does not hunt, Jack asks for a new election. 25After he again loses, Jack announces, “I’m going off by myself . . . . Anyone who wants to hunt when I do can come too.” 26Eventually, nearly all the boys join Jack’s “tribe.” 27Following his example, they paint their faces like savages, sacrifi ce to “the beast,” brutally murder two of their schoolmates, and nearly succeed in killing Ralph as well. 28Jack has now become completely savage— and so have the others.
29Through Jack Merridew, then, Golding shows how easily moral laws can be forgotten. 30Freed from grown-ups and their rules, Jack learns to kill living things, defy authority, and lead a tribe of murdering savages. 31Jack’s example is a frightening reminder of humanity’s potential for evil. 32The “beast” the boys try to hunt and kill is actually within every human being.
1. In which essay does the thesis statement appear in the last sentence of the
introductory paragraph?
2. In the essay on Lord of the Flies, which sentence of the introductory
paragraph contains the plan of development?
3. Which method of introduction is used in “Summer Read-a-thons”?
a. Broad statement c. Incident or story
b. Relevance/importance of topic d. Quotation
4. Write a brief outline of the points developed in “Summer Read-a-thons”:
a.
b.
c.
d.
5. Which two essays use a transitional sentence between the fi rst and second supporting paragraphs?
QUESTIONS
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6. Complete the following statement: Emphatic order is shown in the last
supporting paragraph of “Sports-Crazy America” with the words
and in the last supporting paragraph of “An Interpretation of Lord of
the Flies” with the words .
7. Which essay uses time order as well as emphatic order to organize its three
supporting paragraphs?
8. List four major transitions used in the supporting paragraphs of “An Interpre-
tation of Lord of the Flies.”
a. c.
b. d.
9. Which essay includes a sentence in the concluding paragraph that summa-
rizes three main supporting points?
10. Which essay includes two fi nal thoughts in its concluding paragraph?
11. What three modes of writing does the author employ in “Summer
Read-a-thons”?
a. exemplifi cation, narration, defi nition
b. exemplifi cation, narration, description
c. narration, comparison and/or contrast, description
d. argument, comparison and/or contrast, description
12. The primary mode of writing used in “An Interpretation of Lord of the Flies” is argument. What is a secondary mode?
Planning the Essay Determining Audience and Purpose When you are writing an essay, planning is crucial for success. Start by thinking
about your purpose (what you want your essay to accomplish) and intended audi-
ence (the person or persons who will read the essay).
In Chapter 1, you learned that, often, an assignment clearly states or at least
hints at what the essay is supposed to accomplish—its intended purpose. Key
words such as defi ne, contrast, argue, illustrate, or explain causes and effects, can reveal the assignment’s purpose. The box on pages 347–348 explains such
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338 Part 3 Essay Development
terms, and Chapters 8–16 discuss how to develop specifi c types of paragraphs for
these purposes. So before you begin collecting information for your essay through
prewriting, spend a few minutes thinking about the purpose your paper is intended
to fulfi ll.
Now determine who your reader is. Sometimes this will simply be your in-
structor. At other times you may be writing for a wider and more diverse audience,
such as the other students in your class, the student body of your college, or the
employees of a company you work for.
To clearly defi ne your audience, ask yourself these questions:
1. Why does this person want to read my essay? What does he or she want to
gain or learn from it?
2. Does the reader need to make a decision based upon what I have written?
Is the reader leaning one way or the other? Does the reader hold an opin-
ion that is opposite to the one I am defending?
3. Is the reader simply seeking new information, or does he or she need to
answer a specifi c question or to solve a specifi c problem?
4. Is the reader looking for a recommendation on a course of action. (For ex-
ample, a movie reviewer makes recommendations aimed at people choos-
ing a movie to see.)
5. How much does my reader know about my subject? Is he new to the sub-
ject, or does she know a lot about it already? Will I have to defi ne basic
terms, or can I use these terms without explaining what they mean? (For
example, you might defi ne the word tweeting to a senior citizen who does not own a computer. But would you have to explain this term to one of
your peers?)
6. Am I writing to readers who have strong political, religious, or other be-
liefs? If you are stating an opposite opinion, you might have to be extra
careful to word your ideas so as not to offend the audience.
Once you have answered these questions in your head, on a piece of paper, or
on a computer, you will have a much clearer idea of your audience’s background,
needs, and purpose for reading. More important, you will be able to tailor your
essay so that it contains ideas, information, and techniques that will appeal to
your intended audience and, thus, improve your chances of writing an effective
essay.
Outlining the Essay Another important step in planning the essay is outlining. You can make a plan of
your essay by outlining in two ways.
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Working at an app le plant was my worst job.
1. Hard work
2. Poor pay
3. Bad working conditions
Do not underestimate the value of this initial outline—or the work in-
volved in achieving it. Be prepared to do a good deal of plain hard think-
ing at this fi rst and most important stage of your essay.
2. Prepare a more detailed outline. The outline form on page 340 will serve
as a guide. Your instructor may ask you to submit a copy of this form ei-
ther before you actually write an essay or along with your fi nished essay.
Practice in Writing the Essay In this section, you will expand and strengthen your understanding of the essay as
you work through the following activities.
Understanding the Two Parts of a Th esis Statement In this chapter, you have learned that effective essays center on a thesis, or main
point, that a writer wishes to express. This central idea is usually presented as a
thesis statement in an essay’s introductory paragraph. Just like the topic sentence of a paragraph, a good thesis statement does two
things. First, it tells readers an essay’s topic. Second, it presents the writer’s attitude, opinion, idea, or point about that topic. For example, look at the follow- ing thesis statement:
Celebrities are often poor role models.
In this thesis statement, the topic is celebrities; the writer’s main point is celebri- ties are often poor role models.
1. Prepare a scratch outline. This should consist of a short statement of
the thesis followed by the main supporting points for the thesis. Here is
Gene’s scratch outline for his essay on the apple plant:
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Form for Planning an Essay
Opening remarks:
Thesis statement
Plan of development (if used)
Introduction
Summary, Conclusion or both
Thesis restated
Closing remarks
Concluding Paragraph
Supporting Paragraph 1
Topic sentence
Specifi c supporting details
Supporting Paragraph 2
Topic sentence
Specifi c supporting details
Body
Supporting Paragraph 3 (4, 5, . . .)
Topic sentence
Specifi c supporting details
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For each thesis statement below, single-underline the topic and double-underline
the main point that the writer wishes to express about the topic.
1. Several teachers have played important roles in my life.
2. A period of loneliness in life can actually have certain benefi ts.
3. Owning an old car has its own special rewards.
4. Learning to write takes work, patience, and a sense of humor.
5. Advertisers use several clever sales techniques to promote their message.
6. The police in large cities often have to do more than fi ght crime.
7. Working part time and going to college full time requires self-sacrifi ce,
energy, and an ability to manage one’s time.
8. My study habits in college benefi ted greatly from a course on note taking,
textbook study, and test-taking skills.
9. The best teachers encourage their students, provide them with extra help,
and present the material in a clear and interesting manner.
10. Parents should take certain steps to encourage their children to enjoy reading.
Supporting the Th esis with Specifi c Evidence The fi rst essential step in writing a successful essay is to form a clearly stated the-
sis. The second basic step is to support the thesis with specifi c reasons or details—
just as you would support the topic sentence of a paragraph.
To ensure that your essay will have adequate support, you may fi nd an infor-
mal outline very helpful. Write down a brief version of your thesis idea, and then
work out and jot down the three or more points that will support your thesis.
Here is the scratch outline that was prepared for one essay:
ACTIVITY 5
Th e college cafet eria is poorly managed.
Th e chec kout lines are always long.
Th e fl oor and tables are oft en dirty.
Food choices are oft en limited.
A scratch outline like the one above looks simple, but developing it often re-
quires a good deal of careful thinking. The time spent on developing a logical out-
line is invaluable, though. Once you have planned the steps that logically support
your thesis, you will be in an excellent position to go on to write an effective essay.
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342 Part 3 Essay Development
After reviewing the six methods of introduction on pages 328–330, refer to the box
above and read the following seven introductory paragraphs. Then, in the space
provided, write the number of the kind of introduction used in each paragraph.
Each kind of introduction is used once.
Following are fi ve informal outlines in which two points (a and b) are already pro- vided. Complete each outline by adding a third logical supporting point (c).
1. Poor grades in school can have various causes.
a. Family problems
b. Study problems
c.
2. My landlord adds to the stress in my life.
a. Keeps raising the rent
b. Expects me to help maintain the apartment
c.
3. My mother (or some other adult) has three qualities I admire.
a. Sense of humor
b. Patience
c.
4. The fi rst day in college was nerve-racking.
a. Meeting new people
b. Dealing with the bookstore
c.
5. Staying healthy while carrying a full course load in college takes planning.
a. Set aside at least seven hours a day for sleep
b. Choose foods that are nutritious; avoid those loaded with sugar and fat
c.
Identifying Introductions The box lists six common methods for introducing an essay; each is discussed in
this chapter.
ACTIVITY 6
1. Broad statement 4. Incident or story
2. Contrast 5. Quotation
3. Relevance 6. Startling statement or statistic
ACTIVITY 7
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In a perfect school, students would treat each other with affection and respect. Differences would be tolerated, and even welcomed. Kids would become more popular by being kind and supportive. Students would go out of their way to make sure one another felt happy and comfortable. But most schools are not perfect. Instead of being places of respect and tolerance, they are places where the hateful act of bullying is widespread.
Students have to deal with all kinds of problems in schools. There are the problems created by diffi cult classes, by too much homework, or by personality confl icts with teachers. There are problems with scheduling the classes they need and still getting some of the ones they want. There are problems with bad cafeteria food, grouchy principals, or overcrowded classrooms. But one of the most diffi cult problems of all has to do with a terrible situation that exists in most schools: bullying.
PARAGRAPH B
Eric, a new boy at school, was shy and physically small. He quickly became a victim of bullies. Kids would wait after school, pull out his shirt, and punch and shove him around. He was called such names as “Mouse Boy” and “Jerk Boy.” When he sat down during lunch hour, others would leave his table. In gym games he was never thrown the ball, as if he didn’t exist. Then one day he came to school with a gun. When the police were called, he told them he just couldn’t take it anymore. Bullying had hurt him badly, just as it hurts many other students. Every member of a school community should be aware of bullying and the three hateful forms that it takes: physical, verbal, and social bullying.
PARAGRAPH C
PARAGRAPH A
A British prime minister once said, “Courage is fi re, and bullying is smoke.” If that is true, there is a lot of “smoke” present in most schools today. Bullying in schools is a huge problem that hurts both its victims and the people who practice it. Physical, verbal, and social bullying are all harmful in their own ways.
PARAGRAPH D
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344 Part 3 Essay Development
PARAGRAPH E
Comments follow each supporting paragraph and the concluding paragraph.
Circle the letter of the one statement that applies in each case.
A Hateful Activity: Bullying
PARAGRAPH 1: INTRODUCTION
ACTIVITY 8
Revising an Essay for All Four Bases: Unity, Support, Coherence, and Sentence Skills You know from your work on paragraphs that there are four “bases” a paper must
cover to be effective. In the following activity, you will evaluate and revise an
essay in terms of all four bases: unity, support, coherence, and sentence skills.
A pair of students bring guns and homemade bombs to school, killing a number of their fellow students and teachers before taking their own lives. A young man hangs himself on Sunday evening rather than attend school the following morning. A junior high school girl is admitted to the emergency room after cutting her wrists. What do all these horrible reports have to do with each other? All were reportedly caused by a terrible practice that is common in schools: bullying.
It is estimated that 23 percent of all students in American middle schools have experienced bullying. More than 20 percent have admitted to engaging in bullying themselves. Moreover, 8 percent complain of being bullied at least once each week. At times, victims of bullying become depressed, suffer from chronic health problems, and even contemplate suicide.
PARAGRAPH F
Eric, a new boy at school, was shy and physically small. He quickly became a victim of bullies. Kids would wait after school, pull out his shirt, and punch and shove him around. He was called such names as “Mouse Boy” and “Jerk Boy.” When he sat down during lunch hour, others would leave his table. In gym games he was never thrown the ball, as if he didn’t exist. Then one day he came to school with a gun. When the police were called, he told them he just couldn’t take it anymore. Bullying had hurt him badly, just as it hurts many other students. Every member of a school community should be aware of bullying and the three hateful forms that it takes: physical, verbal, and social bullying.
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PARAGRAPH 2: FIRST SUPPORTING PARAGRAPH
Bigger or meaner kids try to hurt kids who are smaller or unsure of themselves. They’ll push kids into their lockers, knock books out of their hands, or shoulder them out of the cafeteria line. In gym class, a bully often likes to kick kids’ legs out from under them while they are running. In the classroom, bullies might kick the back of the chair or step on the foot of the kids they want to intimidate. Bullies will corner a kid in a bathroom. There the victim will be slapped around, will have his or her clothes half pulled off, and might even be shoved into a trash can. Bullies will wait for kids after school and bump or wrestle them around, often while others are looking on. The goal is to frighten kids as much as possible and try to make them cry. Physical bullying is more common among boys, but it is not unknown for girls to be physical bullies as well. The victims are left bruised and hurting, but often in even more pain emotionally than bodily.
Perhaps even worse than physical attack is verbal bullying, which uses words, rather than hands or fi sts, as weapons. We may be told that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me,” but few of us are immune to the pain of a verbal attack. Like physical bullies, verbal bullies tend to single out certain targets. From that moment on, the victim is subject to a hail of insults and put-downs. These are usually delivered in public, so the victim’s humiliation will be greatest: “Oh, no; here comes the nerd!” “Why don’t you lose some weight, blubber boy?” “You smell as bad as you look!” “Weirdo.” “Fairy.” “Creep.” “Dork.” “Slut.” “Loser.” Verbal bullying is an equal-opportunity activity, with girls as likely to be verbal bullies as boys. If parents don’t want their children to be bullies like this, they shouldn’t be abusive themselves. Meanwhile, the victim retreats farther and farther into his or her shell, hoping to escape further notice.
a. Paragraph 2 contains an irrelevant sentence.
b. Paragraph 2 lacks transition words.
c. Paragraph 2 lacks supporting details at one key spot.
d. Paragraph 2 contains a fragment and a run-on.
PARAGRAPH 3: SECOND SUPPORTING PARAGRAPH
a. Paragraph 3 contains an irrelevant sentence.
b. Paragraph 3 lacks transition words.
c. Paragraph 3 lacks supporting details at one key spot.
d. Paragraph 3 contains a fragment and a run-on.
PARAGRAPH 4: THIRD SUPPORTING PARAGRAPH
As bad as verbal bullying is, many would agree that the most painful type of bullying of all is social bullying. Many students have a strong need for the comfort of being part of a group. For social bullies, the pleasure of belonging to a group is increased by the sight of someone who is refused entry into that group. So, like wolves targeting the weakest sheep in a herd, the bullies lead the
continued
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346 Part 3 Essay Development
a. Paragraph 4 contains an irrelevant sentence.
b. Paragraph 4 lacks transition words.
c. Paragraph 4 lacks supporting details at one key spot.
d. Paragraph 4 contains a fragment and a run-on.
PARAGRAPH 5: CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH
pack in isolating people who they decide are different. Bullies do everything they can to make those people feel sad and lonely. In class and out of it, the bullies make it clear that the victims are ignored and unwanted. As the victims sink farther into isolation and depression, the social bullies—who seem to be female more often than male—feel all the more puffed up by their own popularity.
Whether bullying is physical, verbal, or social, it can leave deep and lasting scars. If parents, teachers, and other adults were more aware of the types of bullying, they might help by stepping in. Before the situation becomes too extreme. If students were more aware of the terrible pain that bullying causes, they might think twice about being bullies themselves, their awareness could make the world a kinder place.
a. Paragraph 5 contains an irrelevant sentence.
b. Paragraph 5 lacks transition words.
c. Paragraph 5 lacks supporting details at one key spot.
d. Paragraph 5 contains a fragment and a run-on.
Preparing for Essay Exams In many classes, instructors administer examinations with questions to be an-
swered in short but fully developed essays. Here are a few suggestions for taking
such exams and completing such essays.
1. Keep to a schedule. Reserve enough time to complete the essay, depending
on how much the essay contributes to the overall test grade. For example, if
the essay question is worth 50 points of the test’s 100 points, plan to spend at
least half the test period writing the essay.
2. Make sure you understand the test question well. Read through it a few times
if you have to. Then follow the directions carefully.
3. Look for key words to determine exactly what the question is asking you to do.
This is perhaps the most important part of the process. If the question asks you
to analyze the long-term effects of the Civil War, you will need to do more than just say that the South lost and some of its major cities were greatly damaged.
If you are asked to compare and contrast the economies of the South and North before the Civil War, you will have to do more than simply explain how they
were different (contrast). If you are asked to explain what causes a tsunami, don’t describe the devastation when the 2004 tsunami struck southern Asia.
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Here is a list of key terms you might encounter on essay exams.
Term Meaning Example Analyze Divide into component parts
or aspects, and then explain
how each part relates to the
whole.
Analyze the imagery in William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116.
Compare Draw similarities between
items.
Compare the composition of the ancient Roman senate to that of
the modern United States senate.
Contrast Explain differences between
items.
How are the jobs of a local police
offi cer and an FBI agent different?
Criticize Give the positive and negative
points of a subject as well as
evidence for those positions.
Criticize the American government’s handling of the
IRS scandal of 2013.
Defi ne Give the formal meaning of
a term.
Defi ne “the American Dream” as it is used in Death of a Salesman.
Describe Create a verbal picture.
However, sometimes
describe means “discuss” or even “narrate” in an essay
exam.
Describe the symptoms seen in people who suffered from
bubonic plague.
Describe (discuss) the economic effects of recent income tax rate
reductions.
Diagram Make a drawing and label it. Diagram the nervous system.
Discuss Explain, analyze, and/or
evaluate.
Discuss the advantages of regular aerobic exercise.
Enumerate List items. Enumerate the rights guaranteed in the Bill of Rights.
Evaluate Weigh, assess, or appraise. Evaluate the effectiveness of using electronic calculators to
teach college algebra.
Explain Depending on the rest of
the question, list causes or
effects or tell how something
is done.
Explain the effects of America’s entry into World War II on its
economy.
Explain the process that immigrants must go through to
become citizens.
continued
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348 Part 3 Essay Development
Term Meaning Example Illustrate Provide examples. Illustrate the following
statement: “The computer is an
invaluable academic tool.”
Interpret Analyze and explain the
meaning or signifi cance of
something.
Interpret the signifi cance of the religious imagery used in two of
Hawthorne’s short stories.
Justify Give reasons for something. Justify the Twenty-second Amendment.
List Give a series of points and
number them 1, 2, 3, and so on.
List and explain the major steps in the writing process.
Outline Give the main points and
important secondary points.
Put main points at the margin
and indent secondary points
under the main points. Re-
lationships may also be de-
scribed with logical symbols,
as follows:
1.
a.
b.
2.
Outline the timeline of the Civil War.
Prove Provide a logical argument
supported by facts.
Prove the claim that the Greek gods displayed human qualities.
Relate Show connections among
things.
Relate America’s belief of “manifest destiny” to the
Mexican-American War.
State Give the main points. State the reasons that led to the automobile industry crisis and
bailout of 2008–2010.
Summarize Give a condensed account
of the main points.
Summarize the role of FEMA in natural disasters.
Trace Track the progress of
something.
Trace the major events that ended apartheid in South Africa.
4. Jot down a rough outline of what you want to say in your essay.
5. Leave enough time to edit and proofread your essay for glaring errors
before you submit your test paper to the instructor.
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Essay Assignments
Keep the points below in mind when writing an essay on any of the topics that follow. 1. Your fi rst step is planning your essay. Determine your audience and your
purpose. Prepare both a scratch outline and a more detailed outline. 2. While writing your essay, use the checklist below to make sure that your
essay touches all four bases of effective writing. 3. Each essay will require support that incorporates different modes of
writing. Relevant chapters are listed in each assignment. You will want to review those chapters as necessary.
4. Don’t forget to give your essay a title.
HI NT
S
FOUR BASES Checklist: Essays
BASE 1: UNITY
Clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph of your essay
All the supporting paragraphs on target in backing up your thesis
BASE 2: SUPPORT
Th ree or more separate supporting points for your thesis
Specifi c evidence for each of the supporting points
Plenty of specifi c evidence for each supporting point
BASE 3: COHERENCE
Clear method of organization
Transitions and other connecting words
Eff ective introduction and conclusion
BASE 4: SENTENCE SKILLS
Clear, error-free sentences (use the checklist on the inside back cover of this
book)
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
✔
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350 Part 3 Essay Development
Defi ning Community Write an essay that defi nes and illustrates what the word community means to you. To fully address this assignment, consider the following questions:
• When you think about the word community, what initially comes to mind?
• Where do you think your ideas about community originate?
• What roles do communities play in modern life?
• What does it mean to be a member of a community?
• What communities do you belong to?
• What does it mean to be part of these communities?
• Are there any communities you would like to belong to?
• What it is about these communities that interest you?
After you have answered the questions, think about which ideas you are most
drawn to. From these ideas, create a strong thesis statement that you can fully sup-
port in your essay.
Depending on the type of support you choose to incorporate, you may need to
review Chapter 12, “Defi nition”; Chapter 8, “Exemplifi cation”; and Chapter 11,
“Comparison and/or Contrast.”
Recalling a Mistake Write an essay about the biggest mistake you made within the past year. Describe
the mistake and show how its effects have convinced you that it was the wrong
thing to do. For instance, if you write about “taking a full-time job while going to
school” as your biggest mistake, show the problems it caused. (You might discuss
such matters as low grades, constant exhaustion, and poor performance at work.)
To get started, make a list of all the things you did last year that, with hindsight,
now seem to be mistakes. Then select the action that has had the most serious con-
sequences for you and that you can discuss in detail. Make a brief outline to guide
you as you write, as in the example below.
Th es is: Buying a used car to commute to school was the worst mist ake of last year.
1. Unreliable—late for class or miss ed class
2. Expenses for insurance, repairs
3. Led to an accident
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 1
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 2
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Good support will include narration (Chapter 15), effects (Chapter 10), and argu-
ment (Chapter 16).
Analyzing Lives Write an essay the claims that students’ lives are much more diffi cult than profes-
sors’ lives (or vice-versa). As preparation, you will need to speak with both profes-
sors and students and ask questions like:
Daily life: What does a typical day look like for you? What are your responsibilities? Do you have time each day just for yourself?
Academic life: How much time do you spend preparing for class? How much time do you spend in class? How much time do you spend grading
(professors only)?
Social life: How much time do you spend participating in social activities?
Personal life: Do you work outside of your academic life? Do you have added responsibilities you haven’t addressed?
Once you have gathered information, you will want to write an essay that asserts
one group has a tougher life than the other. One way to organize your essay would
be creating a paragraph for each of the categories; another way to organize it would
be to write all the information that supports the thesis about one group and then
follow with information about the other group. You will want to review Chapter 11,
“Comparison and/or Contrast,” and Chapter 16, “Argument,” to help create a
persuasive and effective essay.
Refl ecting on Your Writing Are you as good a writer as you want to be? Write an essay analyzing the reasons
you have become a good writer or explaining why you are not as good as you’d
like to be. Begin by considering some factors that may have infl uenced your writ-
ing ability.
Your family background: Did you see people writing at home? Did your parents respect and value the ability to write?
Your school experience: Did you have good writing teachers? Did you have a history of failure or success with writing? Was writing fun, or was it a
chore? Did your school emphasize writing?
Social infl uences: How did your school friends do at writing? What were your friends’ attitudes toward writing? What feelings about writing did you
pick up from TV or the movies?
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 3
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 4
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352 Part 3 Essay Development
You might want to organize your essay by describing the three greatest infl uences
on your skill (or your lack of skill) as a writer. Show how each of these has con-
tributed to the present state of your writing. You will want to review Chapter 10,
“Cause and/or Effect,” and Chapter 16, “Argument,” to help create a persuasive and
effective essay.
Abolishing Unjust, Unnecessary Rules Write an essay in which you discuss one or more rules, requirements, laws, poli-
cies or regulations that you think should be abolished because they are unjust or
are unnecessary or for any other reason you believe is appropriate. Among the
examples you might wish to discuss are the following:
• A code enforced by a club, sorority, or house of worship to which you belong
• A policy your employer wants you to follow
• A graduation requirement at your high school or college
• A law enforced by your state or community
• A rule or practice your family observes
If you want, pick unrelated rules or policies enforced by different organiza-
tions or people. In your thesis statement, however, explain why you oppose these
laws or rules. For example, let’s say that your employer wants you to wear conser-
vative clothes to work even though you work in the stockroom; that your college
wants you to complete a course covering computer programs that you’ve already
mastered; and that the volunteer fi re company you belong to requires your atten-
dance at a Halloween dance. Your thesis might read as follows: “Certain rules and
regulations, like those enforced by my employer, my college, and my fi re company,
are simply unnecessary.” Note that such a thesis includes a plan of development. In
other words, you will discuss your employer fi rst, your college second, and your
fi re company last.
Another way you might want to focus your paper is to write an extended ex-
planation of one rule. A thesis statement for this type of paper might read: “My
family’s requirement that everyone eat dinner together every Friday night is unfair
and needs to be reconsidered for several reasons.” Note that this thesis does not
include a plan of development, but an effective essay would use emphatic order to
create the most persuasive tone.
Regardless of which direction you choose for your essay, you will want to re-
view Chapter 16, “Argument”; Chapter 8, “Exemplifi cation”; Chapter 10, “Cause
and/or Effect”; and, possibly, Chapter 13, “Division-Classifi cation” to help you
write a persuasive and effective essay.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 5
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Describing Your Characteristics It has been said that the older we get, the more we see our parents in ourselves.
Indeed, our temperament and many of our habits (good and bad) and beliefs can
often be traced to one of our parents.
Write a paragraph in which you describe three characteristics you have “inher-
ited” from a parent. You might want to think about your topic by asking yourself a
series of questions: “How am I like my mother (or father)?”; “When and where am
I like her (or him)?”; “Why am I like her (or him)?”
One student who wrote such a paper used the following thesis statement: “Al-
though I hate to admit it, I know that in several ways I’m just like my mom.” She
then went on to describe how she works too hard, worries too much, and judges other
people too harshly. Another student wrote, “I resemble my father in my love of TV
sports, my habit of putting things off, and my reluctance to show my feelings.”
Be sure to include examples and support for each of the characteristics you
mention. For ideas about the types of support you will want to include, review
Chapter 15, “Narration”; Chapter 14, “Description”; and Chapter 11, “Comparison
and/or Contrast.”
Reviewing a TV Show or Movie Write an essay about
a television show or
movie you have seen
very recently. The the-
sis of your essay will
be that the show (or
movie) has both good
and bad features. (If
you are writing about
a TV series, be sure
that you evaluate only
one episode.)
Your essay should
include a brief sum-
mary of the show
or movie. Don’t get
bogged down in small details, but provide enough information so that a reader
who hasn’t seen the show or movie can understand your essay. You will also need
TELEVISION SHOWS, LIKE GAME OF THRONES, OFTEN become part of our culture,infl uencing language, social engagements, and even workplace conversations. Do you think this is a problem or just a way to relax? Write a thesis statement that expresses your view.
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 6
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 7
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354 Part 3 Essay Development
to include evidence that supports the good and bad features of the show or movie.
Such features might be:
• Fanciful or realistic plot
• Well-constructed or confusing plot
• Good and average/bad scenery and/or special effects
• Good and average/bad aspects of the acting
• Believable characters and/or those that are fl at, cardboard-like
• Strong, clever ending or predictable ending
Remember to create a topic sentence for each paragraph and to include only
information that supports your topic sentence. You will want to review Chapter 13,
“Division-Classifi cation”; Chapter 14, “Description”; and Chapter 16, “Argument”;
to create a strong, convincing essay.
Profi ling Heroes Many people would agree that three men who died in recent years were a credit
to the human race. Neil Armstrong, the fi rst person to walk on the moon, helped
inspire generations of young children to study math, science, and engineering and
Describing Demands in Life College demands a lot. You must attend classes, take notes, read textbooks, study
for quizzes, write papers—the list goes on. In addition to school, you probably
have other demands or expectations in your life. What are those demands? Write
an essay that focuses on three demands or expectations that compete for your
time. To help you get started, here is a list common to college students:
Job Other family members
Housing Financial debt
Children Living expenses
Transportation Hobbies, sports, activities
Spouse or signifi cant other Partying/socializing
Health conditions Daily tasks (laundry, errands)
In your thesis statement, let your readers know what your three demands/expectations
are and how they affect your life. Each of these demands should be developed in a sep-
arate paragraph. Each paragraph should have its own detailed examples. To create a
strong essay, you will want to review Chapter 16, “Argument”; Chapter 13, “Division-
Classifi cation”; Chapter 10, “Cause and/or Effect”; and Chapter 8, “Exemplifi cation.”
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 8
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 9
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to quite literally reach for the stars. Charles Schultz was the creator of the world-
famous comic strip Peanuts, whose characters dealt with anxieties we could all understand. Christopher Reeve played Superman in the movies but became one
in real life by fi ghting a spinal-cord injury. Write an essay in which each of your
supporting paragraphs explains in detail why each of these people can be re-
garded as a hero for humanity. You will need an introduction and thesis statement
that encompasses all three men. Your conclusion will need to close the entire
essay and restate your thesis. Chapter 16, “Argument”; Chapter 14, “Descrip-
tion”; and Chapter 10, “Cause and/or Effect,” will help you create a convincing
and effective essay.
Writing for a Specifi c Purpose and Audience In this piece, you will write with a specifi c purpose and for a specifi c audience.
Imagine that you are an outside consultant called in as a neutral observer to ex-
amine the high school you attended, which is now up for an accreditation review.
After your visit, you must send the school board a well-written letter in which you
describe the most striking features (good, bad, or both) of the school and evidence
for each of these features.
In order to write the letter, you may want to think about the following features
of your high school:
• Attitude of the teachers, student body, or administration
• Condition of the buildings and classrooms
• Curriculum
• How classes are conducted
• Extracurricular activities
• Crowded or uncrowded conditions
WRITING ASSIGNMENT 10
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356 Part 3 Essay Development
• Typical class size
• Availability of sports facilities and fi elds
• Number of Advanced Placement courses offered
Be sure to include an introduction, a clear thesis statement, clear topic sen-
tences for each supporting paragraph, and a conclusion.
You will want to review Chapter 16, “Argument”; Chapter 14, “Descrip-
tion”; and Chapter 13, “Division-Classifi cation”; to help you write a persuasive
letter with a formal tone.
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Identify the misspelling in each sign. How does the error in the fi rst sign completely change the sign’s meaning? What are the effects of the misspelling in the second sign? How can you correct each?
P R E V I E W
Section I Grammar
Section II Mechanics
Section III Punctuation
Section IV Word Use
Section V Practice
Handbook of Sentence Skills PA
R T
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WHY IS GRAMMAR IMPORTANT? Which one incorrect word completely alters the meaning that the sign is trying to convey? Which additional errors in punctuation do you see? How would you change this sign’s wording to make it grammatically correct?
SECTION PREVIEW Chapter 18 Subjects and Verbs
Chapter 19 Sentence Sense
Chapter 20 Fragments
Chapter 21 Run-Ons
Chapter 22 Regular and Irregular Verbs
Chapter 23 Standard English Verbs
Chapter 24 Subject-Verb Agreement
Chapter 25 Pronoun Agreement and Reference
Chapter 26 Pronoun Types
Chapter 27 Adjectives and Adverbs
Chapter 28 Misplaced and Dangling Modifi ers
Grammar S E C T I O N
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Subjects and Verbs C H A P T E R
A Simple Way to Find a Subject To fi nd a subject, ask who or what the sentence is about. As shown below, your answer is the subject.
Who is the fi rst sentence about? Children
What is the second sentence about? Several branches
Who is the third sentence about? Most students
Who is the fourth sentence about? That man
A Simple Way to Find a Verb To fi nd a verb, ask what the sentence says about the subject. As shown below, your answer is the verb.
What does the fi rst sentence say about the children? They laughed.
What does the second sentence say about the branches? They fell.
What does the third sentence say about the students? They passed.
What does the fourth sentence say about that man? He is (a hero).
The basic building blocks of English sentences are subjects and verbs. Un- derstanding them is an important fi rst step toward mastering a number of sentence skills. Every sentence has a subject and a verb. Who or what the sentence speaks about is called the subject; what the sentence says about the subject is called the verb.
The children laughed. Several branches fell. Most students passed the test. That man is a hero.
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A second way to fi nd the verb is to put I, you, we, he, she, it, or they (whichever form is appropriate) in front of the word you think is a verb. If the result makes
sense, you have a verb. For example, you could put they in front of laughed in the fi rst sentence above, with the result, they laughed, making sense. Therefore you know that laughed is a verb. You could use they or he, for instance, to test the other verbs as well.
Finally, it helps to remember that most verbs show action. In the sentences
already considered, the three action verbs are laughed, fell, and passed. Certain other verbs, known as linking verbs, do not show action. They do, however, give information about the subject. In “That man is a hero,” the linking verb is tells us that the man is a hero. Other common linking verbs include am, are, was, were, feel, appear, look, become, and seem.
ACTIVITY 1 In each of the following sentences, draw one line under the subject and two lines under the verb.
1. Blood fl ows from the heart to the lungs via the pulmonary arteries.
2. The curious child stared silently at the shopping mall Santa.
3. The city-states of ancient Greece were ruled by various kinds of governments.
4. Cotton shirts feel softer than polyester ones.
5. The fog rolled into the cemetery.
6. Yoko invited her friends to dinner.
7. A green fl y stung her on the ankle.
8. Every year, the Nile River fl ooded the land it bordered, depositing fertile soil
on its banks.
9. The elderly man sat for a few minutes on the park bench.
10. With their fi ngers, the children drew pictures on the steamed window.
More about Subjects and Verbs 1. A pronoun (a word such as he, she, it, we, you, or they used in place of a
noun) can serve as the subject of a sentence. For example:
He seems like a lonely person.
They both like to gamble.
Without a surrounding context (so that we know who He or They refers to), such sentences may not seem clear, but they are complete.
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2. A sentence may have more than one verb, more than one subject, or sev-
eral subjects and verbs:
My heart skipped and pounded.
The money and credit cards were stolen from the wallet.
Dave and Ellen prepared the report together and presented it to the
class.
3. The subject of a sentence never appears within a prepositional phrase. A
prepositional phrase is simply a group of words that begins with a prepo- sition. Following is a list of common prepositions.
Prepositions about before by inside over
above behind during into through
across below except of to
among beneath for off toward
around beside from on under
at between in onto with
Forms of smile smile smiled should smile
smiles were smiling will be smiling
does smile have smiled can smile
is smiling had smiled could be smiling
are smiling had been smiling must have smiled
Cross out prepositional phrases when you are looking for the subject of a
sentence.
Under my pillow I found a quarter left by the tooth fairy.
One of the yellow lights at the school crossing began fl ashing.
The comics pages of the newspaper have disappeared.
In spite of my efforts, Bob dropped out of school.
During a rainstorm, I sat in my car reading magazines.
4. Many verbs consist of more than one word. Here, for example, are some of
the many forms of the verb smile.
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5. Words like not, just, never, only, and always are not part of the verb, although they may appear within the verb.
Larry did not fi nish the paper before class.
The road was just completed last week.
6. No verb preceded by to is ever the verb of a sentence.
My car suddenly began to sputter on the freeway.
I swerved to avoid a squirrel on the road.
7. No -ing word by itself is ever the verb of a sentence. (It may be part of the verb, but it must have a helping verb in front of it.)
They leaving early for the game. (not a sentence, because the verb is not
complete)
They are leaving early for the game. (a sentence)
REVIEW TEST
Draw a single line under the subjects and a double line under the verbs. Note that
many sentences have multiple subjects and multiple verbs. Cross out prepositional
phrases as necessary to fi nd the subjects.
1. John Muir is known as the “Father of the National Park Service.”
2. Muir was born in Scotland, but his family moved to the United States in 1849.
ACTIVITY 2 Draw a single line under the subjects and a double line under the verbs in the fol- lowing sentences. Be sure to include all parts of the verb.
1. A large meteor heading for Earth raced across the galaxy.
2. Parts of my car were manufactured in Canada.
3. Vampires and werewolves are repelled by garlic.
4. Three people in the long bank line looked impatiently at their watches.
5. The pelting rain had pasted wet leaves all over the car.
6. She has decided to fi nd a new apartment.
7. The trees in the mall were glittering with tiny white lights.
8. The puppies slipped and tumbled on the vinyl kitchen fl oor.
9. Spain and Portugal occupy the Iberian Peninsula and share a border.
10. We have not met our new neighbors in the apartment building.
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3. As a freshman at the University of Wisconsin, he studied chemistry, but he was
soon introduced to botany.
4. In 1867, Muir embarked on a 1,000-mile journey from Indianapolis to Florida;
he studied the fl ora and fauna, met people, and learned about America.
5. After his long walk, Muir sailed to San Francisco and immediately traveled to
Yosemite.
6. His experience in Yosemite and Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essays on nature in-
spired Muir, and he published articles about his experiences.
7. After Yosemite, Muir traveled to Utah, Alaska, and Mt. Rainier.
8. Muir convinced President Roosevelt that Yosemite, Mt. Rainier, and the Grand
Canyon must be protected.
9. In 1890, 1,500 acres of Yosemite were established as preserved land.
10. This paved the way for the creation of more than 50 protected parks now within
the United States National Parks System.
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Sentence Sense C H A P T E R
How Does Sentence Sense Relate to You as a Writer? Sentence sense can help you recognize and avoid fragments and run-ons, two of
the most common and most serious sentence-skills mistakes in written English.
Sentence sense will also help you to place commas, spot awkward and unclear
phrasing, and add variety to your sentences.
You may ask, “If I already have this ‘sentence sense,’ why do I still make mis-
takes in punctuating sentences?” One answer could be that your past school experi-
ences in writing were unrewarding or unpleasant. English courses may have been a
series of dry writing topics and heavy doses of “correct” grammar and usage, or they
may have given no attention at all to sentence skills. For any of these reasons, or
perhaps for other reasons, the instinctive sentence skills you practice while speaking may turn off when you start writing. The very act of picking up a pen or sitting down to type may shut down your natural system of language abilities and skills.
Turning On Your Sentence Sense Chances are that you don’t read a paper aloud after you write it, and that you don’t do the next best thing: read it “aloud” in your head. But reading aloud is essential
to turn on the natural language system within you. By reading aloud, you will be
able to hear the points where your sentences begin and end. In addition, you will
be able to pick up any trouble spots where your thoughts are not communicated
clearly and well.
As a speaker of English, you already possess the most important of all sentence skills. You have sentence sense—an instinctive feel for where a sentence begins, where it ends, and how it can be developed. You learned sentence sense automatically and naturally, as part of learning the English language, and you have practiced it through all the years that you have been speaking English. It is as much a part of you as your ability to speak and understand English is a part of you.
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The activities that follow will help you turn on and rediscover the enormous
language power within you. You will be able to see how your built-in sentence
sense can guide your writing just as it guides your speaking.
ACTIVITY 1Each item that follows lacks basic punctuation. There is no period to mark the end of one sentence and no capital letter to mark the start of the next. Read each item
aloud (or in your head) so that you “hear” where each sentence begins and ends.
Your voice will tend to drop and pause at the point of each sentence break. Draw a
light slash mark (/) at every point where you hear a break. Then go back and read
the item a second time. If you are now sure of each place where a split occurs, in-
sert a period and change the fi rst small letter after it to a capital. Minor pauses are
often marked in English by commas; these are already inserted. Part of item 1 is
done for you as an example.
1. Americans devalue literacy the closing of bookstores like Borders demon-
strates this lack of value. However, if reading books were banned, the value
of literacy would increase. During Prohibition, the government banned
alcohol people didn’t stop drinking. Instead, they went to great lengths to
obtain a drink they didn’t care if they broke the law to get one. Americans
often desire what has been taken away. The American government should
ban the reading of all books. By banning books, Americans will see the
importance of reading and literacy.
2. Lola hates huge tractor trailers that sometimes tailgate her Honda Civic the
enormous smoke-belching machines seem ready to swallow her small car she
shakes her fi st at the drivers, and she screams out many angry words recently
she had a very satisfying dream she broke into an army supply depot and
stole a bazooka she then became the fi rst person in history to murder a truck.
3. The right to freedom of religion, press, and expression is guaranteed in an
amendment to the United States Constitution it is fundamental to our coun-
try it lets Americans express themselves and their beliefs. This amendment
sets America apart from so many other countries. Countries like Nigeria and
North Korea don’t allow their citizens to freely practice whatever religion
they want similarly, these countries do not welcome free speech or free press
to lose these freedoms would mean that a key part of America would be lost.
. T
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366 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Any threat to the First Amendment should be fought with a vigor and passion
that refl ects our forefathers.
4. Cities across the nation are dealing with neighborhood blight. People are
unable or unwilling to care for their houses and yards neighborhoods be-
come run-down and unsafe. Crime goes up. Cities don’t have the money or
resources to fi x these problems often, volunteer organizations go into these
neighborhoods to help paint, mow, and do general clean-up however, what
cities are overlooking is an untapped, inexpensive labor force. People who
have been convicted of lesser crimes and sentenced to extended periods in
city and county jails should be required to do community service as part of
their sentence. Everyone wins with a program like this inmates gain a sense
of pride cities save money neighborhoods are improved.
5. the Federalists, a faction that arose during the administration of President
George Washington (1789–97), favored a strong central government it
was led by Alexander Hamilton, Washington’s secretary of the Treasury.
Hamilton and his followers also believed in supporting the rights of landown-
ers and business people they were opposed by the Democratic-Republican
Party the Federalists were against the War of 1812 with Great Britain how-
ever, President James Madison, a member of the opposing party, was re-
elected therefore, the war continued by 1824, the Federalists had lost much
of their power, and soon the party went out of existence.
Summary: Using Sentence Sense You probably did well in locating the end stops in these selections—proving to
yourself that you do have sentence sense. This instinctive sense will help you deal with fragments and run-ons, perhaps the two most common sentence-skills
mistakes.
Remember the importance of reading your paper aloud. By reading aloud, you turn on the natural language skills that come from all your experience of speak-
ing English. The same sentence sense that helps you communicate effectively in
speaking will help you communicate effectively in writing.
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Fragments C H A P T E R
What Are Fragments? Every sentence must have a subject and a verb and must express a complete thought.
As explained above, a word group that lacks a subject or a verb and does not express
a complete thought is a fragment. The most common types of fragments are
1. Dependent-word fragments
2. -ing and to fragments 3. Added-detail fragments
4. Missing-subject fragments
Once you understand what specifi c kinds of fragments you write, you should
be able to eliminate them from your writing. The following pages explain all four
types of fragments.
Dependent-Word Fragments Some word groups that begin with a dependent word are fragments. Here is a list
of common dependent words.
This chapter will explain how to avoid the most common types of fragments. A fragment is a word group that lacks a subject or a verb and/or one that does not express a complete thought.
Dependent Words after if, even if when, whenever
although, though in order that where, wherever
as since whether
because that, so that which, whichever
before unless while
even though until who, whoever
how what, whatever whose
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368 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Whenever you start a sentence with one of these words, you must be careful that a
fragment does not result.
The word group beginning with the dependent word After in the example below is a fragment.
After I learned the price of new cars. I decided to keep my old pickup.
A dependent statement—one starting with a dependent word such as After—cannot stand alone. It depends on another statement to complete the thought. “After I
learned the price of new cars” is a dependent statement. It leaves us hanging. We
expect to fi nd out—in the same sentence—what happened after the writer learned the price of new cars. When a writer does not follow through and complete a
thought, a fragment results.
To correct the fragment, simply follow through and complete the thought:
After I learned the price of new cars, I decided to keep my old pickup.
Remember, then, that dependent statements by themselves are fragments. They must be attached to a statement that makes sense standing alone.
Here are two other examples of dependent-word fragments:
My daughter refused to stop eating sugar. Unless I stopped also.
He made an early appointment. Which he did not intend to keep.
“Unless I stopped also” is a fragment; it does not make sense standing by itself. We
want to know—in the same statement—what would not happen unless the writer stopped also. The writer must complete the thought. Likewise, “Which he did not
intend to keep” is not in itself a complete thought. We want to know in the same
statement what which refers to. Additional information about dependent words and phrases can be found on
pages 123–125. In that discussion, dependent words are also referred to as subor-
dinating words.
Correcting a Dependent-Word Fragment In most cases you can correct a dependent-word fragment by attaching it to the
sentence that comes after it or to the sentence that comes before it:
After I learned the price of new cars, I decided to keep my old pickup.
(The fragment has been attached to the sentence that comes after it.)
My daughter refused to stop eating sugar unless I stopped also.
(The fragment has been attached to the sentence that comes before it.)
He made an early appointment, which he did not intend to keep.
(The fragment has been attached to the sentence that comes before it.)
Another way of connecting a dependent-word fragment is simply to eliminate
the dependent word by rewriting the sentence:
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I learned the price of new cars and decided to keep my old pickup.
She wanted me to stop also.
He did not intend to keep it.
Do not use this method of correction too frequently, however, for it may cut down
on interest and variety in your writing style.
1. Use a comma if a dependent-word group comes at the beginning of a sentence (see also page 368):
After I learned the price of new cars, I decided to keep my old pickup.
However, do not generally use a comma if the dependent-word group comes at the end of a sentence:
My daughter refused to stop eating sugar unless I stopped also. He made an early appointment, which he did not intend to keep.
2. Sometimes the dependent words who, that, which, or where appear not at the very start, but near the start, of a word group. A fragment often results:
The town council decided to put more lights on South Street. A place where several people have been mugged.
“A place where several people have been mugged” is not in itself a complete thought. We want to know in the same statement where the place was that several people were mugged. The fragment can be corrected by attaching it to the sentence that comes before it:
The town council decided to put more lights on South Street, a place where several people have been mugged.
TI PS
Turn each of the following dependent-word groups into a sentence by adding a
complete thought. Put a comma after the dependent-word group if a dependent
word starts the sentence.
examples
Although I arrived in class late
The little boy who plays with our daughter
Although I arr ived in class late, I still did well on the tes t.
Th e litt le boy wh o plays with our daughter just came down with German measles .
ACTIVITY 1
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1. After we stopped for gas
2. If I want to live a healthier life
3. The car that we bought
4. When I made the Dean’s List
5. Before my father got married
Working with a partner, underline the dependent-word fragment or fragments in
each item. Then correct each fragment by attaching it to the sentence that comes
before or the sentence that comes after it—whichever is more logical. Put a comma
after the dependent-word group if it starts the sentence. Note: One item includes
two different fragments.
1. Although the Devil’s Tomato and Blue Nightshade are related to the tomato
and potato. They are both highly toxic plants. They should not be eaten in
a salad or baked.
2. The Adam and Eve orchid grows in Connecticut. It is hard to spot. Because
its leaves have withered by the time it blooms.
ACTIVITY 2
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3. Most people think about the fi sh-eating sea anemone. When the word
“anemone” is mentioned. However, there are nineteen species of non-fi sh-
eating anemone wildfl owers found throughout the United States.
4. Although it might seem strange to give someone a bouquet of Cat’s Ear. This
tiny yellow fl ower is actually an aster. It makes a beautiful bouquet. Because
of its sunny color and daisy-like appearance.
5. Since the Indian Pipe lacks chlorophyll and grows near fungi. Many people
often mistake it for a mushroom instead of a fl ower. Its white color has given
it the name Ghost Flower.
6. Many homeowners spend time and energy trying to eliminate the dandelions
in their yards. Even though harvesting the plants might be a better use of their
time. The petals of the fl owers add color and fl avor to salads, the leaves can
be eaten, and dandelion wine is a popular drink in many Midwestern states.
-ing and to Fragments When an -ing word appears at or near the start of a word group, a fragment may result. Such fragments often lack a subject and part of the verb. Underline the word
groups in the examples below that contain -ing words. Each is a fragment.
EXAMPLE 1 I spent almost two hours on the phone yesterday. Trying to fi nd a garage to repair
my car. Eventually I had to have it towed to a garage in another town.
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EXAMPLE 2 Maggie was at fi rst happy with the used SUV she bought from a neighbor. Not
realizing until a week later that the vehicle averaged just nine miles per gallon
of gas.
EXAMPLE 3 He looked forward to the study period at school. It being the only time he could sit
unbothered and dream about his future. He imagined himself as a lawyer with lots
of money and women to spend it on.
People sometimes write -ing fragments because they think the subject in one sen- tence will work for the next word group as well. Thus, in the fi rst example, the
writer thinks that the subject I in the opening sentence will also serve as the subject for “Trying to fi nd a garage to repair my car.” But the subject must actually be in the sentence.
Correcting -ing Fragments 1. Attach the -ing fragment to the sentence that comes before it or the sentence
that comes after it, whichever makes sense. Example 1 could read: “I spent
almost two hours on the phone yesterday, trying to fi nd a garage to repair
my car.”
2. Add a subject and change the -ing verb part to the correct form of the verb. Example 2 could read: “She did not realize until a week later that the vehicle
averaged just nine miles per gallon of gas.”
3. Change being to the correct form of the verb be (am, are, is, was, were). Example 3 could read: “It was the only time he could sit unbothered and
dream about his future.”
Correcting to Fragments When to appears at or near the start of a word group, a fragment sometimes results:
I plan on working overtime. To get this job fi nished. Otherwise, my boss
may get angry at me.
The second word group is a fragment and can be corrected by adding it to the pre-
ceding sentence:
I plan on working overtime to get this job fi nished.
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Underline the -ing fragment in each of the items that follow. Then make it a sen- tence by rewriting it, using the method described in parentheses.
example
A thunderstorm was brewing. A sudden breeze shot through the windows.
Driving the stuffi ness out of the room.
(Add the fragment to the preceding sentence.)
(In the example, a comma is used to set off “driving the stuffi ness out of the
room,” which is extra material placed at the end of the sentence.)
1. Establishing a research laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey (1876).
Edison set the standard for modern industrial research.
(Add the fragment to the sentence that comes after it.)
2. He works 10 hours a day. Then going to class for 2½ hours. It is no wonder
he writes fragments.
(Connect the fragment by adding the subject he and changing going to the proper form of the verb, goes.)
3. Charlotte loved the classic movie Gone with the Wind, but Clyde hated it. His chief objection being that it lasted four hours.
(Correct the fragment by changing being to the proper verb form, was.)
A sudden breeze shot through the windows, driving the stuffi ness out of the room.
Underline the -ing or to fragment or fragments in each item. Then rewrite each item, using one of the methods of correction described on page 372.
1. A mysterious package arrived on my porch yesterday. Bearing no return
address. I half expected to fi nd a bomb inside.
ACTIVITY 3
ACTIVITY 4
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374 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
2. Jack bundled up and went outside on the bitterly cold day. To saw wood for
his fi replace. He returned half frozen with only two logs.
3. Tariq read an entire novel on his seventeen-hour fl ight. Traveling to South
Africa. He also wrote three letters.
4. Being an excellent math student. Nadia had no diffi culty impressing her
algebra professor.
5. Typing furiously. Luis attempted to fi nish his paper before class. However,
he didn’t leave time for proofreading. The result being a paper riddled
with errors.
Added-Detail Fragments Added-detail fragments lack a subject and a verb. They often begin with one of the
following words.
also except including
especially for example such as
See if you can locate and underline the one added-detail fragment in each of the
examples that follow:
EXAMPLE 1 I love to cook and eat Italian food. Especially spaghetti and lasagna. I make every-
thing from scratch.
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Chapter 20 Fragments 375 C
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EXAMPLE 2 The class often starts late. For example, yesterday at a quarter after nine instead of
at nine sharp. Today the class started at fi ve after nine.
EXAMPLE 3 He failed a number of courses before he earned his degree. Among them, English I,
Economics, and General Biology.
People often write added-detail fragments for much the same reason they write
-ing fragments. They think the subject and verb in one sentence will serve for the next word group as well. But the subject and verb must be in each word group.
Correcting Added-Detail Fragments 1. Attach the fragment to the complete thought that precedes it. Example 1
could read: “I love to cook and eat Italian food, especially spaghetti and
lasagna.”
2. Add a subject and a verb to the fragment to make it a complete sentence.
Example 2 could read: “The class often starts late. For example, yesterday it
began at a quarter after nine instead of at nine sharp.”
3. Change words as necessary to make the fragment part of the preceding
sentence. Example 3 could read: “Among the courses he failed before he
earned his degree were English I, Economics, and General Biology.”
Underline the fragment in each of the items below. Then make it a sentence by
rewriting it, using the method described in parentheses.
example
The brightly painted furniture movement has changed my mind about col-
ors. Like bright teal and yellow. I am thinking about redecorating my dining
room. (Add the fragment to the preceding sentence.)
1. Last week, I read a good article on how to repaint furniture to embrace bold
colors. For example, the different types of paint strippers to buy. It also dis-
cussed different types of paint. (Correct the fragment by adding the subject
and verb explained.)
Th e brightly painted furniture movement has changed my mind about colors like
bright teal and yellow.
ACTIVITY 5
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376 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
2. I was very fascinated by the Annie Sloan chalk paint. It doesn’t require much
preparation. Such as stripping and sanding. According to the article, Annie
Sloan paint is almost foolproof. (Add the fragment to the preceding sentence.)
3. I decided to give the paint a try and painted my dining room table Old White
and my chairs English Yellow. With stenciled borders on the chairbacks in
bright teal. (Correct the fragment by adding the subject and verb embellished.)
Underline the added-detail fragment in each item. Then rewrite that part of the
item needed to correct the fragment. Use one of the three methods of correction
described above.
1. It’s always hard for me to get up for work. Especially on Monday after a
holiday weekend. However, I always wake up early on free days.
2. Tony has enormous endurance. For example, the ability to run fi ve miles in
the morning and then play basketball all afternoon.
3. Montgomery is the capital of Alabama. As well as being a major furniture-
manufacturing center.
4. I love visiting Arizona. Especially Sedona. However, I always bring a lot of
sun protection.
5. One of my greatest joys in life is eating desserts. Such as cherry cheesecake
and vanilla cream puffs. Almond fudge cake makes me want to dance.
ACTIVITY 6
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Chapter 20 Fragments 377 C
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Missing-Subject Fragments In each example below, underline the word group in which the subject is missing.
EXAMPLE 1 The truck skidded on the rain-slick highway. But missed a telephone pole on
the side of the road.
EXAMPLE 2 Michelle tried each of the appetizers on the table. And then found that, when
the dinner arrived, her appetite was gone.
People write missing-subject fragments because they think the subject in one sen-
tence will apply to the next word group as well. But the subject, as well as the verb,
must be in each word group to make it a sentence.
Correcting Missing-Subject Fragments 1. Attach the fragment to the preceding sentence. Example 1 could read: “The
truck skidded on the rain-slick highway but missed a telephone pole on the
side of the road.”
2. Add a subject (which can often be a pronoun standing for the subject in the
preceding sentence). Example 2 could read: “She then found that, when the
dinner arrived, her appetite was gone.”
Work with a partner to underline the missing-subject fragment in each item. To-
gether, rewrite that part of the item needed to correct the fragment. Use one of the
two methods of correction described above.
1. I tried on an old suit hanging in our basement closet. And discovered, to my
surprise, that it was too tight to button.
2. When Mary had a sore throat, friends told her to gargle with salt water. Or
suck on an ice cube. The worst advice she got was to avoid swallowing.
3. Montana is bordered by North Dakota and South Dakota to the east. Also by
Wyoming to the south. To the north of the state lies Canada.
ACTIVITY 7
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378 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Check for Fragments 1. Read your paper aloud from the last sentence to the fi rst. You will be
better able to see and hear whether each word group you read is a complete thought.
2. If you think a word group is a fragment, ask yourself: Does this contain a subject and a verb and express a complete thought?
3. More specifi cally, be on the lookout for the most common fragments: • Dependent-word fragments (starting with words such as after,
because, since, when, and before) • -ing and to fragments (-ing or to at or near the start of a word group) • Added-detail fragments (starting with words such as for example,
such as, also, and especially) • Missing-subject fragments (a verb is present but not the subject)
TI PS
REVIEW TEST 1
Underline the two fragments in each item. Then rewrite the item in the space pro-
vided, making the changes needed to correct the fragments.
example
The people at the sandwich shop save money. By watering down the coffee.
Also, using the cheapest grade of hamburger. Few people go there anymore.
1. Gathering speed with enormous force. The plane was suddenly in the air.
Then it began to climb sharply. And several minutes later leveled off.
2. After visiting Montevideo, the capital of Uruguay. We fl ew to Buenos Aires,
Argentina. And then to Santiago, Chile.
Th e people at the sandwich shop save money by watering down the coff ee. Also, they use
the cheapes t grade of hamburger. . . .
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Chapter 20 Fragments 379 C
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3. Running untouched into the end zone. The halfback raised his arms in triumph.
Then he slammed the football to the ground. And did a little victory dance.
4. The Greek scientist Archimedes (287–212 B.C.) invented many interesting
devices. Such as huge mirrors that, refl ecting the sun’s rays, set the invading
Roman ships on fi re. However, his efforts at repelling the enemy were
unsuccessful.
5. While we waited in a line to see the Claude Monet paintings at the museum. A
famous actor entered the building. And caused an enormous commotion.
REVIEW TEST 2
Read the paragraph below and correct each fragment. You should fi nd a total of
seven fragments.
example
When students enter college. They meet many new people., t
Although college students will meet different types of people. The two
most prominent types will likely be happy people and pessimistic people.
Happy people are the ones others want to be around. Because they treat
everyone with kindness instead of harboring grudges. Happy people
look at complications as positive challenges and embrace the excitement
of working through diffi culties. They don’t make excuses or worry about
small things. Able to truly listen to others. They form good friendships.
Pessimists can be tiring to be around. Since their attitude is so bad.
continued
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380 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
REVIEW TEST 3
Each word group in the student paragraph following is numbered. In the space
provided, write C if a word group is a complete sentence; write F if it is a fragment. You will fi nd seven fragments in the paragraph.
These people typically look at problems in a negative light. They often
frown, grumble, or complain to everyone they meet. Although they aren’t
necessarily unkind. They don’t welcome challenges, and they bemoan
the hurdles instead. Worrying about themselves. Pessimistic people don’t
always make great friends. They are often so busy focusing on the bad
things that they become lonely and miserable. After a few semesters
in college. Most students will be able to quickly identify those who are
happy and those who are not.
On a separate piece of paper, correct the fragments you have found. Attach each
fragment to the sentence that comes before or after it, or make whatever other
change is needed to turn the fragment into a sentence.
A Disastrous First Date
1My fi rst date with Donna was a disaster. 2I decided to take her to a small Italian restaurant. 3That my friends told me had reasonable prices. 4I looked over the menu and realized I could not pronounce the names of the dishes. 5Such as “veal piccata” and “fettucini alfredo.” 6Then I noticed a burning smell. 7The candle on the table was starting to blacken. 8And scorch the back of my menu. 9Trying to be casual, I quickly poured half my glass of water onto the menu. 10When the waiter returned to our table. 11He asked me if I wanted to order some wine. 12I ordered a bottle of Blue Nun. 13The only wine that I had heard of and could pronounce. 14The waiter brought the wine, poured a small amount into my glass, and waited. 15I said, “You don’t have to stand there. We can pour the wine ourselves.” 16After the waiter put down the wine bottle and left. 17Donna told me I was supposed to taste the wine. 18Feeling like a complete fool. 19I managed to get through the dinner. 20However, for weeks afterward, I felt like jumping out of a tenth-story window.
1
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What Are Run-Ons? As mentioned, a run-on occurs when two sentences are run together with no ade- quate sign given to mark the break between them.* Some run-ons have no punctua-
tion at all to mark the break between the thoughts. Such run-ons are known as fused sentences: They are fused, or joined together, as if they were only one thought.
fused sentences
My grades are very good this semester my social life rates only a C.
Our father was a madman in his youth he would do anything on a dare.
In other run-ons, known as comma splices, a comma is used to connect, or “splice” together, the two complete thoughts. However, a comma alone is not enough to con- nect two complete thoughts. Some connection stronger than a comma alone is needed.
comma splices
My grades are very good this semester, my social life rates only a C.
Our father was a madman in his youth, he would do anything on a dare.
Comma splices are the most common kind of run-on. Students sense that some
kind of connection is needed between two thoughts and so put a comma at the divid-
ing point. But the comma alone is not suffi cient: A stronger, clearer mark is needed
*Notes: 1. Some instructors regard all run-ons as fused sentences. But for many other instructors, and for our purposes in this book, the term run-on applies equally to fused sentences and comma splices. The bottom line is that you do not want either fused sentences or comma splices in your writing.
2. Some instructors refer to each complete thought in a run-on as an independent clause. A clause is simply a group of words having a subject and a verb. A clause may be independent (expressing a complete thought and able to stand alone) or dependent (not expressing a complete thought and not able to stand alone). A run-on is two independent clauses run together with no adequate sign given to mark the break between them.
3. Pages 121–125 in Chapter 5, “The Fourth Step in Writing,” demonstrate how to take simple sentences and make them compound or complex sentences without creating run-ons.
Run-Ons C H A P T E R
A run-on occurs when two sentences are run together with no adequate sign given to mark the break between them. This chapter will explore two types of run-ons and explain how to avoid them.
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382 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Correcting Run-Ons Here are four common methods of correcting a run-on:
1. Use a period and a capital letter to break the two complete thoughts into
separate sentences.
My grades are very good this semester. My social life rates only a C.
Our father was a madman in his youth. He would do anything on a dare.
2. Use a comma plus a joining word (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet) to connect the two complete thoughts.
My grades are very good this semester, but my social life rates only a C.
Our father was a madman in his youth, for he would do anything on a dare.
3. Use a semicolon to connect the two complete thoughts.
My grades are very good this semester; my social life rates only a C.
Our father was a madman in his youth; he would do anything on a dare.
4. Use subordination.
Although my grades are very good this semester, my social life rates
only a C.
Because my father was a madman in his youth, he would do anything
on a dare.
The following pages will give you practice in all four methods of correcting a
run-on. The use of subordination is explained on page 389.
Method 1: Period and a Capital Letter One way of correcting a run-on is to use a period and a capital letter at the break
between the two complete thoughts. Use this method especially if the thoughts are
not closely related or if another method would make the sentence too long.
People often write run-ons when the second complete thought begins with one of the following words.
I we there now you they this then he, she, it that next
Remember to be on the alert for run-ons whenever you use one of those words in writing a paper.
TI P
between the two thoughts. Additional information about comma use, as well as ad-
ditional practice, is provided in Chapter 34.
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Chapter 21 Run-Ons 383 C
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Locate the split in each of the following run-ons. Each is a fused sentence—that is, each consists of two sentences that are fused, or joined together, with no punctua-
tion between them. Reading each fused sentence aloud will help you “hear” where
a major break or split in the thought occurs. At such a point, your voice will prob-
ably drop and pause.
Correct the run-on by putting a period at the end of the fi rst thought and a capi-
tal letter at the start of the next thought.
example Each year, music lovers around the United States look forward to the Grammy
Awards. the award is given by the National Academy of Recording Arts and
Sciences.
1. The fi rst Grammy Awards ceremony was held on May 4, 1959 the artists
were recognized for their contributions to the music industry during 1958.
2. There are several categories some of these categories are “Album of the Year”
and “Song of the Year.”
3. Henry Mancini was the winner of the fi rst “Album of the Year ” his album
was titled The Music from Peter Gunn.
4. Two albums by Frank Sinatra competed against Mancini’s unfortunately, nei-
ther Come Fly With Me nor Only The Lonely gained enough votes to win.
5. The fi rst winner of “Song of the Year” was Domenico Modugno his song
“Nel Blu Dipinto Blu (Volare)” can still be heard in many Italian restaurants
across America.
6. In 2013, the “Album of the Year” award was given to Mumford & Sons they
are an English folk rock band whose music has become popular with multiple
generations.
7. That same year, the “Song of the Year” was given to “We Are Young ” the
song beat out “The A Team,” “Adorn,” and “Call Me Maybe.”
8. Some of the newer Grammy categories are “Best Classical Compendium,”
“Best Latin Jazz Album,” and “Best Urban Contemporary Album ” these
three categories brought the number of possible awards to eighty-one.
9. Most of the awards are presented prior to the show only about ten or eleven
of the awards are given during the live show.
10. The Grammy Awards ceremony is always a star-fi lled night with incredible
music performances millions of people tune in every year to see who the
newest winners will be.
T
ACTIVITY 1
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384 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Working in pairs, locate the split in each of the following run-ons. Some of the run-
ons are fused sentences, and some are comma splices—run-ons spliced, or joined together, with only a comma. Correct each run-on by putting a period at the end of
the fi rst thought and a capital letter at the start of the next thought.
1. A bird got into the house through the chimney we had to catch it before our
cat did.
2. Some so-called health foods are not so healthy many are made with oils that
raise cholesterol levels.
3. We sat only ten feet from the magician we still couldn’t see where all the
birds came from.
4. Jerome needs only fi ve hours of sleep each night his wife needs at least
seven.
5. Our image of dentistry will soon change dentists will use lasers instead of
drills.
6. Gail got to school early to study for a math test when she got there, she found
school had closed because of a water-main break.
7. There were several unusual hairstyles at the party one woman had bright
green braids.
8. Todd saves all his magazines once a month, he takes them to a nearby nurs-
ing home.
9. The mountain ranges of Europe include the Pyrenees and the Alps the Hima-
layas are in Asia.
10. In the nineteenth century, showboats had stages on which actors and musicians
performed they sailed up and down major rivers such as the Mississippi.
ACTIVITY 2
Method 2: Comma and a Joining Word A second way of correcting a run-on is to use a comma plus a joining word to
connect the two complete thoughts. Joining words (also called conjunctions) in- clude and, but, for, or, nor, so, and yet. Here is what the four most common joining words mean:
and in addition to, along with
His feet hurt from the long hike, and his stomach was growling.
(And means “in addition”: His feet hurt from the long hike; in addition, his stomach was growling.)
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Chapter 21 Run-Ons 385 C
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but however, except, on the other hand, just the opposite
I remembered to get the cocoa, but I forgot the marshmallows.
(But means “however”: I remembered to get the cocoa; however, I forgot the marshmallows.)
for because, the reason that, the cause of something
She was afraid of not doing well in the course, for she had always had bad
luck with English before.
(For means “because” or “the reason that”: She was afraid of not doing well in the course; the reason was that she had always had bad luck with English before.)
If you are not comfortable using for, use because instead in the activities that follow. If you do use because, omit the comma before it.HI
NT
so as a result, therefore
The windshield wiper was broken, so she was in trouble when the rain
started.
(So means “as a result”: The windshield wiper was broken; as a result, she was in trouble when the rain started.)
ACTIVITY 3Insert the joining word (and, but, for, so) that logically connects the two thoughts in each sentence.
1. The Vikings were the fi rst Europeans to land in the Americas,
Columbus is usually given credit for the discovery.
2. The Law of the Sea treaty agreed to in 1982 prohibits ocean pollution,
it also limits a nation’s territorial waters to twelve miles.
3. Clyde asked his wife if she had any bandages, he had just sliced
his fi nger with a paring knife.
4. A group of teens talked and giggled loudly during the movie,
the ushers asked them to leave.
5. The restaurant was beautiful, the food was overpriced.
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386 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Add a complete, closely related thought to go with each of the following state-
ments. Use a comma plus the joining word at the left when you write the second
thought.
example
Lola spent the day walking barefoot
1. She wanted to go to the party
2. Tony washed his car in the morning
3. The day was dark and rainy
4. We missed the bus this morning
5. I wish I could spend more time with my family
, for the heel of one of her shoes had come off .
ACTIVITY 4
for
but
and
so
for
but
Method 3: Semicolon A third method of correcting a run-on is to use a semicolon to mark the break be-
tween two thoughts. A semicolon (;) is made up of a period above a comma and is sometimes called a strong comma. The semicolon signals more of a pause than a comma alone but not quite the full pause of a period.
Semicolon Alone Here are some earlier sentences that were connected with a comma plus a joining
word. Notice that a semicolon alone, unlike a comma alone, can be used to connect
the two complete thoughts in each sentence:
The Law of the Sea treaty agreed to in 1982 prohibits ocean pollution; it also
limits a nation’s territorial waters to twelve miles.
She was afraid of not doing well in the course; she had always had bad luck
with English before.
The restaurant was beautiful; the food was overpriced.
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Chapter 21 Run-Ons 387 C
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The semicolon can add to sentence variety. For some people, however, the
semicolon is a confusing mark of punctuation. Keep in mind that if you are not
comfortable using it, you can and should use one of the fi rst two methods of cor-
recting a run-on.
ACTIVITY 5Insert a semicolon where the break occurs between the two complete thoughts in each of the following run-ons.
example
I missed the bus by seconds;there would not be another for half an hour.
1. Some people have trouble with standardized tests the very idea of taking one
makes them panic.
2. Pat retired at age forty she had won six million dollars in the state lottery.
3. The current was too strong Byron decided not to risk crossing the river.
4. Tony never goes to a certain gas station anymore he found out that the service
manager overcharged him for a valve job.
5. The washer shook and banged with its unbalanced load then it began to walk
across the fl oor.
Semicolon with a Transitional Word A semicolon is sometimes used with a transitional word and a comma to join two
complete thoughts.
We were short of money; therefore, we decided not to eat out that weekend.
The roots of a geranium have to be crowded into a small pot; otherwise, the
plants may not fl ower.
I had a paper to write; however, my brain had stopped working for the night.
Following is a list of common transitional words (also known as adverbial con- junctions). Brief meanings are given for the words.
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388 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Transitional Word Meaning however but
nevertheless but
on the other hand but
instead as a substitute
meanwhile in the intervening time
otherwise under other conditions
indeed in fact
in addition and
also and
moreover and
futhermore and
as a result in consequence
thus as a result
consequently as a result
therefore as a result
Choose a logical transitional word from the list in the box and write it in the space
provided. Put a semicolon before the connector and a comma after it.
example
Exams are over I still feel tense and nervous.
1. I did not understand her point I asked her to repeat it.
2. John wasn’t willing to pay two hundred dollars for a fancy dinner
he had no problem investing this amount in stocks.
3. Post offi ces are closed for today’s holiday no mail
will be delivered.
4. Mac and Alana didn’t have a fancy wedding they
used their money for a nice honeymoon.
5. We’re sure he didn’t get the invitation he would
have come to the party.
; however,
ACTIVITY 6
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Punctuate each sentence by using a semicolon and a comma.
example
My brother’s asthma was worsening;as a result, he quit the soccer team.
1. We observed a blue heron standing by the side of the lake in addition we saw
an ibis that had built a nest nearby.
2. Arnie tried to straighten his tie however he almost strangled himself.
3. Our instructor was absent therefore the test was postponed.
4. I had no time to shop for a gift instead I gave my friend a gift certifi cate to
her favorite store.
5. Lola loves the velvety texture of cherry Jell-O moreover she loves to squish it
between her teeth.
ACTIVITY 7
Method 4: Subordination A fourth method of joining related thoughts is to use subordination. Subordination is a way of showing that one thought in a sentence is not as important as another
thought.
Here are three earlier sentences that have been recast so that one idea is subor-
dinated to (made less important than) the other idea:
When the window shade snapped up like a gunshot, her cat leaped four feet
off the fl oor.
Because my father was a madman in his youth, he would do anything on
a dare.
Although my grades are very good this year, my social life rates only a C.
Notice that when we subordinate, we use dependent words such as when, be- cause, and although. Here is a brief list of common dependent words.
Common Dependent Words after before unless
although even though until
as if when
because since while
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390 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Choose a logical dependent word from the box on page 389 and write it in the
space provided. Then team up with a partner and compare your answers.
example
I had so much to do, I never even turned on the TV
last night.
1. the roads became snow covered, we decided to stay
home.
2. “All Natural” was printed in large letters on the
yogurt carton, the fi ne print listing the ingredients told a different story.
3. Phil had eaten a second helping of lasagna, he had
no room left for dessert.
4. the vampire movie was over, my children were
afraid to go to bed.
5. you have a driver’s license and two major credit
cards, that store will not accept your check.
Bec ause
ACTIVITY 8
A Review: How to Check for Run-Ons 1. To see if a sentence is a run-on, read it aloud and listen for a break
marking two complete thoughts. Your voice will probably drop and
pause at the break.
2. To check an entire paper, read each sentence aloud from the last one to the fi rst. Doing so will help you hear and see each complete thought.
3. Be on the lookout for words that can lead to run-on sentences:
I he, she, it they this next
you we there that then
4. Correct run-on sentences by using one of the following methods:
• Period and capital letter
• Comma and joining word (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet)
• Semicolon
• Subordination
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REVIEW TEST 1
Some of the run-ons that follow are fused sentences, having no punctuation be-
tween the two complete thoughts; others are comma splices, having only a comma
between the two complete thoughts. Correct the run-ons by using one of the fol-
lowing methods:
• Period and capital letter
• Comma and one of the following joining words: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so
• Semicolon
• One of the following dependent words: after, although, as, because, before, even though, since, until, when
Do not use the same method of correction for every sentence.
example
Three people did the job, I could have done it alone.
1. There are a number of suits and jackets on sale they all have very noticeable
fl aws.
2. Many computer systems come with printers, I had to pay extra for mine.
3. Marilyn took Professor Stewart’s Introduction to Literature class, she had a
greater appreciation for poetry.
4. The power went off for an hour during the night all the clocks in the house
must be reset.
5. Gas-saving hybrid vehicles are now available, they make up only a fraction of
the new-car market.
6. The course on the history of UFOs sounded interesting, it turned out to be very
dull.
7. Everything on the menu of Angie’s Pancake House sounded delicious they
wanted to order the entire menu.
8. Denise has a photographic memory after reading a page of text, she can recite
it word for word.
9. Marc used to be a fast-food junkie now he eats only fruits, vegetables, and
nuts.
10. The college has been able to operate within its budget it won’t need to raise
tuition.
but
^
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REVIEW TEST 2
There are two run-ons in each passage. Correct them by using the following
methods:
• Period and capital letter
• Comma and one of these joining words: and, but, or so • One of these dependent words: although, because, or when
1. The medical researcher was honored by her colleagues who could have
dreamed that a cure for such a deadly disease could ever be found? Her re-
search had taken years she was persistent. She never gave up.
2. Small feet were admired in ancient China, some female infants had their feet
tightly bound. The feet then grew into a tiny, deformed shape. The women
could barely walk their feet were crippled for life.
3. Kanye insisted on dressing himself for nursery school. It was a cold winter
day, he put on shorts and a tank top. He also put on cowboy boots over his
bare feet. He liked his image in the mirror his mother made him change.
4. A stimulating scent such as peppermint can help people concentrate better.
The idea has practical applications, studies have shown that students do bet-
ter on tests when peppermint is in the air. Maybe scented air could improve
students’ performance, it might help offi ce workers be more alert, too.
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REVIEW TEST 3
Locate and correct the fi ve run-ons in the passage that follows. Do not use the same
method of correction for every sentence.
Employers are always looking for great employees who are
conscientious, focused, and analytical. First, conscientious employees
take pride in their work and want to do their best they make sure they
contribute the best work possible and meet deadlines. If they run into
a problem, they fi rst try to solve it on their own if they cannot solve the
problem, they seek the help necessary to complete the task. Second,
focused employees don’t waste time. They arrive punctually and use
the time at work to do work they don’t talk frivolously to their friends or
family on the phone. They don’t surf the Internet for amusing YouTube
videos, they don’t stand around idly chatting with coworkers. Finally,
analytical employees see a problem and work to solve the issue they
are striving to make things better. If they see a better way that something
could be done, they try to implement it. Employees who have these three
qualities will always be in demand.
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Regular and Irregular Verbs
C H A P T E R
A Brief Review of Regular Verbs The past and past participle of a regular verb are formed by adding -d or -ed to the present. The past participle is the form of the verb used with the helping verbs have, has, or had (or some form of be with passive verbs). The present participle is formed by adding -ing to the present. Here are the principal forms of some regular verbs. Most verbs in English are regular.
Every verb has four principal parts: present, past, past participle, and pres- ent participle. These parts can be used to build all the verb tenses (the times shown by a verb).
Present Past Past Participle Present Participle crash crashed crashed crashing
shiver shivered shivered shivering
kiss kissed kissed kissing
apologize apologized apologized apologizing
tease teased teased teasing
Irregular Verbs Irregular verbs have irregular forms in the past tense and past participle. For ex-
ample, the past tense of the irregular verb know is knew, and the past participle is known.
Almost everyone has some degree of trouble with irregular verbs. When you
are unsure about the form of a verb, you can check the following list of irregular
verbs. (The present participle is not shown on this list because it is formed simply
by adding -ing to the base form of the verb.) Or you can check a dictionary, which gives the principal parts of irregular verbs.
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A List of Irregular Verbs
Present Past Past Participle arise arose arisen
awake awoke or awaked awoken or awaked
be (am, are, is) was (were) been
become became become
begin began begun
bend bent bent
bite bit bitten
blow blew blown
break broke broken
bring brought brought
build built built
burst burst burst
buy bought bought
catch caught caught
choose chose chosen
come came come
cost cost cost
cut cut cut
do (does) did done
draw drew drawn
drink drank drunk
drive drove driven
eat ate eaten
fall fell fallen
feed fed fed
feel felt felt
fi ght fought fought
fi nd found found
fl y fl ew fl own
forget forgot forgotten
continued
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Present Past Past Participle freeze froze frozen
get got got or gotten
give gave given
go (goes) went gone
grow grew grown
have (has) had had
hear heard heard
hide hid hidden
hold held held
hurt hurt hurt
keep kept kept
know knew known
lay laid laid
lead led led
leave left left
lend lent lent
let let let
lie lay lain
lose lost lost
make made made
meet met met
pay paid paid
ride rode ridden
ring rang rung
rise rose risen
run ran run
say said said
see saw seen
sell sold sold
send sent sent
shake shook shaken
continued
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Chapter 22 Regular and Irregular Verbs 397 C
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Present Past Past Participle shrink shrank shrunk
shut shut shut
sing sang sung
sit sat sat
sleep slept slept
speak spoke spoken
spend spent spent
stand stood stood
steal stole stolen
stick stuck stuck
sting stung stung
swear swore sworn
swim swam swum
take took taken
teach taught taught
tear tore torn
tell told told
think thought thought
throw threw thrown
wake woke or waked woken or waked
wear wore worn
win won won
write wrote written
Cross out the incorrect verb form in each of the following sentences. Then write
the correct form of the verb in the space provided.
example
I catched sixteen largemouth bass on my fi shing trip.
1. The real estate agent selled my house in only two weeks.
2. In yoga this morning, I falled asleep during savasana.
3. She sweared that she hadn’t borrowed my sweater, but I had a
picture of her wearing it.
caught
ACTIVITY 1
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398 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
4. During the ceremony, we taked turns reading poems to the
audience.
5. The professor had wrote the assignment on the board, but I had
forgotten to write it in my calendar.
6. As the sun rised over the mountains, John knew it was going to
be a hot day.
7. Taika had drove four hours before she thought to check her gas
tank.
8. Tommy gived his favorite toy to the Oklahoma tornado relief
charity.
9. By the time my son had awoke from his nap, I had fi nished
cleaning the kitchen.
10. That dog in our neighborhood has bited three people!
For each of the italicized verbs, fi ll in the three missing forms in the following
order:
(a) Present tense, which takes an -s ending when the subject is he, she, it, or any one person or thing (see pages 403–404)
(b) Past tense
(c) Past participle—the form that goes with the helping verb have, has, or had
After completing the activity, compare answers with a partner.
example
My uncle likes to give away certain things. He (a) old,
threadbare clothes to the Salvation Army. Last year he (b)
me a worthless television set with a burned-out picture tube. He has
(c) away stuff that a junk dealer would reject.
1. It’s fun to freeze Hershey bars. A Hershey bar (a) in half an
hour. Once I (b) a bottle of Pepsi. I put it in the freezer to
chill and then forgot about it. Later I opened the freezer and discovered that it
had (c) and exploded.
gives
gave
given
ACTIVITY 2
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Chapter 22 Regular and Irregular Verbs 399 C
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2. Natalie speaks French. She (a) German, too. Her grand-
mother (b) both languages and taught them to her. Since she
was a baby, Natalie has (c) them both as well as she speaks
English.
3. My cousin has always liked to write. He usually (a) short
stories. However, he just (b) a book of poetry, which he is
getting published. He has even (c) a play.
4. I go to parties a lot. Often Camille (a) with me. She
(b) with me just last week. I have (c)
to parties every Friday for the past month.
5. My brother likes to throw things. Sometimes he (a) socks
into his bureau drawer. In high school he (b) footballs
while quarterbacking the team. And he has (c) Frisbees in
our backyard for as long as I can remember.
6. I would like to see a UFO. I spend hours looking at the night sky, hoping to
(a) one. A neighbor of ours claims he (b)
one last month. But he says he has (c) the Abominable
Snowman, too.
7. I often lie down for a few minutes after a hard day’s work. Sometimes
my cat (a) down near me. Yesterday was Saturday, so I
(b) in bed all morning. I probably would have
(c) in bed all afternoon, but I wanted to get some planting done in my vegetable garden.
8. To teach in college has been Claire’s life-long dream. Currently, she
(a) English at the YWCA to newly arrived immigrants.
Last year, she (b) at a private high school, and before
that she had (c) at the local community college part time.
9. The government plans to give citizens more tax credits in order to
encourage energy savings. It already (a) a $3,000 credit
to those who buy hybrid vehicles. Last year, it (b)
my uncle a tax credit for installing solar panels on his house, and it had
(c) him money the year before to help pay for the
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400 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
cost of replacement windows.
10. Martha likes to eat. She (a) as continuously as some
people smoke. Once she (b) a large pack of cookies in half
an hour. Even if she has (c) a heavy meal, she often starts
munching snacks right afterward.
REVIEW TEST 1
Underline the correct verb in the parentheses.
1. As I began my speech, my hands (shaked, shook) so badly I nearly dropped
my notes.
2. Oscar came into the gym and (began, begun) to practice on the parallel bars.
3. The food she donated (feed, fed) three families during the holidays.
4. Even though my father (teached, taught) me how to play baseball, I never en-
joyed any part of the game.
5. When I (lent, lend) him the money yesterday, I knew he would pay me back.
6. The bank had (growed, grown) from a small savings and loan to a large re-
gional mortgage company.
7. Lola (brang, brought) a sweatshirt with her, for she knew the mountains got
cold at night.
8. The red maple that had (stood, standed) in the yard for one hundred years
was blown over by a strong wind.
9. The audience (burst, bursted) into laughter when the comedian told his favor-
ite joke.
10. Anthony (sweared, swore) that he had locked the front door.
11. Someone (leaved, left) his or her books in the classroom.
12. Fran’s muscle was (tore, torn) when she slipped on the wet pavement.
13. If I hadn’t (threw, thrown) away the receipt, I could have gotten my money
back.
14. I would have (become, became) very angry if you had not intervened.
15. As the fl owerpot (fell, falled) from the windowsill, the little boy yelled,
“Bombs away!”
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Chapter 22 Regular and Irregular Verbs 401 C
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REVIEW TEST 2
Cross out the incorrect verb form in each of the following sentences. Then write
the correct verb form in the space provided.
1. She had wore her best dress for the party, but it still wasn’t
fancy enough.
2. He has builded four houses and remodeled three offi ce
buildings.
3. As Jane standed in the aisle at the grocery store and stared at
the different types of bread, she couldn’t choose which one to
purchase.
4. The little boy falled off the monkey bars and broke his arm.
5. Even though my son is eight years old, he has never swam.
6. The children had growed much taller over the course of the
summer, so their mother took them shopping for new clothes.
7. If I had knowed how much I would like Indian food, I would
have started eating it much earlier in my life.
8. The minister has spoke to his community about helping the
homeless.
9. Peter was afraid of horses, so it was quite a triumph when he
fi nally rided one.
10. After the earthquake shaked the building, the people were
relieved that no one was hurt.
11. He was asked to bring chips and salsa to the party, but he brang
a vegetable platter instead.
12. Steven has fl ew to Budapest three times this year.
13. The young child was very tired so he lied down to take a nap.
14. Last night, before he went to bed, Tom feeded his pets.
15. On two occasions, Henry has saw his girlfriend skateboarding
with her friends.
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Standard English Verbs
C H A P T E R
Regular Verbs: Dialect and Standard Forms The chart below compares community dialect (nonstandard) and standard English
forms of the regular verb smile.
Many people have grown up in communities where nonstandard verb forms are used in everyday life. Such forms include I thinks, he talk, it done, we has, you was, and she don’t. Community dialects have richness and power but are a drawback in college and the world at large, where standard English verb forms must be used. Standard English helps ensure clear com- munication among English-speaking people everywhere, and it is especially important in the world of work.
This chapter compares community dialect and standard English forms of one regular verb and three common irregular verbs.
Smile Community Dialect Standard English (Do not use in your writing) (Use for clear communication)
Present tense I smiles we smiles I smile we smile
you smiles you smiles you smile you smile
he, she, it smile they smiles he, she, it smiles they smile
Past tense I smile we smile I smiled we smiled
you smile you smile you smiled you smiled
he, she, it smile they smile he, she, it smiled they smiled
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Chapter 23 Standard English Verbs 403 C
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All but one of the ten sentences that follow need s or es verb endings. Cross out the nonstandard verb forms, and write the standard forms in the spaces provided. Mark
the one sentence that needs no change with a C for correct.
example
Dana always want the teacher’s attention.
1. Recently, I bought a computer that operate very fast.
2. Don’t eat a fi sh that smell funny.
3. Claire plan to enter the contest.
4. Whole-wheat bread taste better to me than rye bread.
5. Bob work as a security guard at the mall.
6. The city seem to glow in the early morning sun.
7. Wanda makes me angry sometimes.
8. Troy run faster than anybody else on the track team.
9. She live in a rough section of town.
10. Martha like mystery novels better than romances.
wants
One of the most common nonstandard forms results from dropping the endings of
regular verbs. For example, people might say “David never smile anymore” instead of “David never smiles anymore.” Or they will say “Before he lost his job, David smile a lot” instead of “Before he lost his job, David smiled a lot.” To avoid such nonstandard usage, memorize the forms shown above for the regular verb smile. Then use the activities that follow to help you develop a habit of including verb
endings when you write.
Present-Tense Endings The verb ending -s or -es is needed with a regular verb in the present tense when the subject is he, she, it, or any one person or thing. Consider the following ex- amples of present-tense endings.
He He yells. She She throws things. It It really angers me. One person Their son storms out of the house. One person Their frightened daughter crouches behind the bed. One thing At night the house shakes.
ACTIVITY 1
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404 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Work with a partner to rewrite the short passage below, adding present-tense -s or -es verb endings wherever needed. Underline each ending as you add it. You should fi nd a total of twelve endings to change.
Past-Tense Endings The verb ending -d or -ed is needed with a regular verb in the past tense.
A midwife delivered my baby.
The visitor puzzled over the campus map.
The children watched cartoons all morning.
All but one of the ten sentences that follow need -d or -ed verb endings. Cross out the nonstandard verb forms, and write the standard forms in the spaces provided.
Mark the one sentence that needs no change with a C.
example
Yesterday I fail a chemistry quiz.
1. Lily want to go to the concert on Saturday.
2. The Vietnamese student struggle with the new language.
failed
ACTIVITY 2
ACTIVITY 3
There are three main stages of a tick’s life: larva, nymph, and adult. The larva is generally the size of a grain of salt. The larva itself hatch from an egg and then immediately look for a host. The search for a host can last as long as a year! As soon as it fi nd a host, it attach itself and begin feeding on the host’s blood. After a few days, it fall off, molt, and enter the nymph stage. This stage can take anywhere from one to three weeks. The nymph now has to fi nd a new host. Once again, this search can take months. After it fi nd a host, it repeat the feeding cycle, drop off, molts, and enters the adult stage. As an adult, it seeks a host, seeks a mate, and then die within two years.
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3. In the past, the requirement for a bachelor of arts degree
include two years’ study of a foreign language.
4. The tired mother turned on the TV for him.
5. Many newcomers to the community attend the recent
town hall meeting.
6. The weather forecaster promise blue skies, but rain began
early this morning.
7. Sam attempt to put out the candle fl ame with his fi nger.
8. However, he end up burning himself.
9. On the bus, Yolanda listen to music on her iPod.
10. As the photographer was about to take a picture of the
smiling baby, a sudden noise frighten the child and made
her cry.
Rewrite the following short passage, adding past-tense -d or -ed verb endings wherever needed. Underline each ending as you add it. You should fi nd a total of
twelve endings to change.
ACTIVITY 4
I smoke for two years and during that time suffer no real side effects. Then my body attack me. I start to have trouble falling asleep, and I awaken early every morning. My stomach digest food very slowly, so that at lunchtime I seem to be still full with breakfast. My lips and mouth turn dry, and I swallow water constantly. Also, mucus fi ll my lungs and I cough a lot. I decide to stop smoking when my wife insist I take out more life insurance for our family.
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Be Community Dialect Standard English (Do not use in your writing) (Use for clear communication)
Present tense I be (or is) we be I am we are
you be you be you are you are
he, she, it be they be he, she, it is they are
Past tense I were we was I was we were
you was you was you were you were
he, she, it were they was he, she, it was they were
Have Community Dialect Standard English (Do not use in your writing) (Use for clear communication)
Present tense I has we has I have we have
you has you has you have you have
he, she, it have they has he, she, it has they have
Past tense I has we has I had we had
you has you has you had you had
he, she, it have they has he, she, it had they had
Three Common Irregular Verbs: Dialect and Standard Forms The following charts compare community dialect and standard English forms of
the common irregular verbs be, have, and do. (For more on irregular verbs, see pages 394–401.)
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Do Community Dialect Standard English (Do not use in your writing) (Use for clear communication)
Present tense I does we does I do we do
you does you does you do you do
he, she, it do they does he, she, it does they do
Past tense I done we done I did we did
you done you done you did you did
he, she, it done they done he, she, it did they did
Many people have trouble with the negative form of do. They will say, for example, “He don’t agree” instead of “He doesn’t agree,” or they will say “The door don’t work” instead of “The door doesn’t work.” Be careful to avoid the common mistake of using don’t instead of doesn’t.
TI P
Underline the standard form of be, have, or do.
1. Crystal (have, has) such a nice singing voice that she often sings solos at our
choir concerts.
2. The women at the factory (is, are) demanding to be paid the same wages as men.
3. The island of Corsica (has, have) belonged to France since the eighteenth
century.
4. Rod and Arlene (was, were) ready to leave for the movies when the baby
began to wail.
5. Our art class (done, did) the mural on the wall of the cafeteria.
6. If I (have, has) the time later, I will help you set up your new laser printer.
7. Jesse (be, is) the best basketball player at our school.
8. The Finnish government (has, have) installed stop signals in road pavements be-
cause pedestrians who are texting sometimes get hurt when they cross the street.
9. Vanessa wears the same perfume that Anya (do, does), but their clothing
styles are very different.
10. The science instructor said that the state of California (be, is) likely to have a
major earthquake any day.
ACTIVITY 5
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408 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Fill in each blank with the standard form of be, have, or do.
Underline the standard verb form.
1. Jason (be, is) the luckiest guy I know; he has won the lottery four times.
2. Johanna (love, loves) to walk in the rain.
3. She (has, have) more than two thousand songs in her iTunes library.
4. We (was, were) supposed to go skiing last weekend, but the snow melted.
5. Jabril and Trevin (do, does) their homework in the college library.
6. John’s dog (eats, eat) his food out of a large, crystal bowl.
7. Don (likes, like) to smile at everyone on campus.
8. We (had, has) a test in psychology last week.
9. Every morning, my cat hungrily (stare, stares) at the birds in our feeders.
10. No one (wants, want) to buy the house that is for sale in my neighborhood.
11. Gardeners often (has, have) dirty fi ngers even if they use gloves.
12. Since 1976, Manila (have been, has been) the capital of the independent
Republic of the Philippines.
ACTIVITY 6
REVIEW TEST 1
San Diego’s Balboa Park some beautiful features. One of
the most famous parts of the park the San Diego Zoo. The zoo
more than four thousand rare, exotic, and endangered animals.
Just a short walk from the zoo the Natural History Museum. The
museum numerous hands-on exhibits and located on
El Prado, the central road in Balboa Park. The architecture surrounding El
Prado Spanish; visitors to the area feel as if they no
longer in modern California. At the far western edge of El Prado
the Old Globe Theater. The theater company performances
ranging from Shakespeare to Monty Python. The park also
home to multiple gardens including the Japanese Friendship Garden,
the Desert Garden, and the Zoro Garden. A trip to Balboa
not seem complete without a visit to The Prado Restaurant, voted one of
“America’s Best Restaurants” by Gourmet magazine.
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Chapter 23 Standard English Verbs 409 C
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Cross out the two nonstandard verb forms in each sentence below. Then write the
standard English verbs in the spaces provided.
example
When our teacher be angry, his eyelid begin to twitch.
1. My mother work for the local newspaper; she take classifi ed
ads over the phone.
2. Caesar conquer Gaul in 58 B.C.; he then invade Britain.
3. Peter and his sister owns a fast-food restaurant that offer
gourmet takeout.
4. Henry love to go camping until two thieves in the campground
remove his cooler, stove, and sleeping bag from his tent.
5. Last week the supermarket have a special on orange juice,
just when I needs some.
6. Although my little girls knows they shouldn’t tease the cat,
they often dresses up the animal in doll clothes.
7. Whenever my brothers watches Monday Night Football, they screams at the TV as if they are actually at the game.
8. The large red fi re engines gleams in the afternoon sun as they
rushes through traffi c on the busy boulevard.
9. I show the receipt to the manager to prove that the clerk had
accidentally overcharge me.
10. As far as our son be concerned, oatmeal taste like soggy
cardboard.
is
begins
REVIEW TEST 2
13. Both of the ships (was, were) built in Brooklyn, New York.
14. I (watched, watch) American Idol until Simon Cowell left the show.
15. My teacher (encourages, encourage) me to be a better person and do my
best in everything.
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Subject-Verb Agreement
C H A P T E R
Words between Subject and Verb Words that come between the subject and the verb do not change subject-verb
agreement. In the sentence
The tomatoes in this salad are brown and mushy.
the subject (tomatoes) is plural, and so the verb (are) is plural. The words in this salad that come between the subject and the verb do not affect subject-verb agreement.
To help fi nd the subject of certain sentences, you should cross out preposi-
tional phrases (see page 361):
Nell, with her three dogs close behind, runs around the park every day.
The seams in my new coat have split after only two wearings.
A verb must agree with its subject in number. A singular subject (one person or one thing) takes a singular verb. A plural subject (more than one person or thing) takes a plural verb. Mistakes in subject-verb agreement are some- times made in the situations listed below (each situation is explained on the following pages): 1. When words come between the subject and the verb 2. When a verb comes before the subject 3. With compound subjects 4. With indefi nite pronouns
ACTIVITY 1 Underline the correct verb form in the parentheses.
1. The decisions of the judge (seem, seems) questionable.
2. The fl akes in this cereal (taste, tastes) like sawdust.
3. The list of books for my American literature course (are, is) posted on the
class Web site.
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Chapter 24 Subject-Verb Agreement 411 C
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4. Many people in Europe (speak, speaks) several languages.
5. An ability to read a compass and a map (are, is) essential to surviving in the
wild.
6. That silk fl ower by the candles (look, looks) real.
7. Opinions about the latest renovations to the Student Center (was, were) dis-
cussed at the meeting.
8. The rust spots on the back of Emily’s car (need, needs) to be cleaned with a
special polish.
9. The collection of medicine bottles in my parents’ bathroom (overfl ow,
overfl ows) the cabinet shelves.
10. A schedule of all the intramural tennis matches (appear, appears) on the
coach’s offi ce door.
Verb before Subject A verb agrees with its subject even when the verb comes before the subject. Words that may precede the subject include there, here, and, in questions, who, which, what, and where.
On Glen’s doorstep were two police offi cers.
There are many pizza places in our town.
Here is your receipt.
Where are they going to sleep?
If you are unsure about the subject, look at the verb and ask who or what. With the fi rst example above, you might ask, “Who were on the doorstep?” The answer, police offi cers, is the subject.
ACTIVITY 2Working with a partner, write the correct form of the verb in each space provided.
1. What the capital of Idaho?
2. Among the guests a private detective.
3. Where students like to congregate on campus?
4. There many interesting things to see in Mexico.
5. In that grave the bones of my great-grandfather.
6. There so many important problems to be solved that
we got to work immediately.
is, are
was, were
do, does
is, are
rest, rests
was, were
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412 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
7. Why the lights turned off?
8. Across the street the post offi ce.
9. Here the tickets for tonight’s game.
10. When the people of this city ever not been able to
trust the police?
is, are
stand, stands
is, are
has, have
Compound Subjects Subjects joined by and generally take a plural verb.
Maple syrup and sweet butter taste delicious on pancakes.
Fear and ignorance have a lot to do with hatred.
When subjects are joined by either . . . or, neither . . . nor, not only . . . but also, the verb agrees with the subject closer to the verb.
Neither TV shows nor the Internet is as enjoyable to me as spending time with
my friends.
The nearer subject, Internet, is singular, and so the verb is singular.
Write the correct form of the verb in the space provided.
1. Our cats and dog at a neighbor’s house when we go
on vacation.
2. the birthday cake and ice cream ready to be served?
3. Staples and Scotch tape all our old photo albums
together.
4. Tom and Pam able to pay for their new car in cash.
5. Neither the mayor nor the members of the city council
the new state mandate.
6. Tokyo and Beijing capitals of Asian countries.
7. Owning a car and having money in my pocket the
chief ambitions of my adolescence.
8. My aunt and uncle from Ireland us every other
summer.
9. Before they saw a marriage therapist, Peter and Jenny
planning to get divorced.
10. Not only the dean but also the faculty members
adopting changes to the curriculum.
stays, stay
Is, Are
holds, hold
was, were
support, supports
are, is
was, were
visits, visit
was, were
favor, favors
ACTIVITY 3
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Chapter 24 Subject-Verb Agreement 413 C
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Indefi nite Pronouns The following words, known as indefi nite pronouns, always take singular verbs.
(-one words) (-body words) (-thing words) one, no one nobody nothing each
anyone anybody anything either
everyone everybody everything neither
someone somebody something
Both always takes a plural verb.TI P
ACTIVITY 4Write the correct form of the verb in the space provided.
1. Everybody at my new school friendly.
2. Neither of them made it to the wrestling fi nals.
3. Nobody in my family how to swim.
4. Each of three candidates he or she won the debate.
5. Something me that she will succeed.
6. If each of us in, we can fi nish this job in an hour.
7. Everyone we invited asked to bring a story to share.
8. Neither of the restaurants facilities for the
handicapped.
9. No one in our family housecleaning, but we all take
a turn at it.
10. Someone in our neighborhood vegetables from
people’s gardens.
is, are
has, have
knows, know
believe, believes
tell, tells
pitches, pitch
was, were
provides, provide
likes, like
steals, steal
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414 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
REVIEW TEST 1
Underline the correct verb in parentheses.
1. Many people who are interested in the weather and weather patterns (like,
likes) to study NOAA’s Web site.
2. What do the letters “NOAA” (stand, stands) for?
3. The answer to that question (are, is) the “National Oceanic and Atmospheric
Administration.”
4. The scientists who work at NOAA (compile, compiles) weather data from all
over the world.
5. Airlines like Delta (consult, consults) the data provided by NOAA to help
pilots know what type of weather to expect.
6. Each spring (come, comes) sooner or later depending on the prediction of the
famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, on February 2, Groundhog Day.
7. American’s obsession with the groundhog’s prediction (fascinate, fascinates) me.
8. Of course, not everyone (believes, believe) Punxsutawney.
9. Meteorologists and their high-tech tools (is, are) much better predictors of
the weather.
10. A student training to become a meteorologist (has, have) to take numerous
math and science courses.
11. Terms like diurnal, additive data, and indefi nite ceiling (is, are) part of a meteorologist’s vocabulary.
12. Most meteorologists make a modest living, but some like Sam Champion on
Good Morning America (earn, earns) more than a million dollars a year.
REVIEW TEST 2
Each of the following passages contains two mistakes in subject-verb agreement. Find these two mistakes and cross them out. Then write the correct form of each
verb in the space provided.
1. Rick Steves’s Europe is a very interesting and popular show on Public Broad- casting Station (PBS). Rick Steves himself host it. What are his secret? The
answer is an emphasis on unique, independent travel.
a.
b.
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Chapter 24 Subject-Verb Agreement 415 C
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2. Rick Steves’s show emphasize traveling throughout the world. On each show,
there are a special destination highlighted. Steves explains how to best expe-
rience that destination.
a.
b.
3. Just about everyone enjoy his show, “Florentine Delights and Tuscan Side
Trips,” in which he guides the audience through a trip to Lucca, a walled city
in Tuscany. He and his crew also visits Pisa and celebrate its famous leaning
tower.
a.
b.
4. Many of his shows features unique lodgings. For instance, in the Swiss Alps,
he and his crew stays at the Gasthous Ascher. This is a hut that has been built
on the side of the mountain.
a.
b.
5. There is more angles to Rick Steves’s career than just his PBS show. Besides
that show, he has a radio show on National Public Radio and a tour company.
The tour company specialize in European vacations.
a.
b.
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Pronoun Agreement and Reference
C H A P T E R
Pronoun Agreement A pronoun must agree in number with the word or words it replaces. If the word a
pronoun refers to is singular, the pronoun must be singular; if that word is plural,
the pronoun must be plural. (Note that the word a pronoun refers to is also known
as the antecedent.)
Barbara agreed to lend me her Ray Charles CDs.
People walking the trail must watch their step because of snakes.
In the fi rst example, the pronoun her refers to the singular word Barbara; in the second example, the pronoun their refers to the plural word People.
Pronouns are words that take the place of nouns (persons, places, or things). In fact, the word pronoun means “for a noun.” Pronouns are shortcuts that keep you from unnecessarily repeating words in writing. Here are some examples of pronouns:
Shirley has not fi nished the paper she was assigned. (She is a pronoun that replaces Shirley.) Tony swung so heavily on the tree branch that it snapped. (It replaces branch.) When the three little pigs saw the wolf, they pulled out cans of Mace. (They is a pronoun that takes the place of pigs.)
This chapter presents rules that will help you avoid two common mistakes people make with pronouns. The rules are as follows:
1. A pronoun must agree in number with the word or words it replaces. 2. A pronoun must refer clearly to the word it replaces.
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Chapter 25 Pronoun Agreement and Reference 417 C
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Write the appropriate pronoun (their, they, them, it) in the blank space in each of the following sentences.
example
I lifted the pot of hot potatoes carefully, but slipped out of my hand.
1. People should try to go into a new situation with minds open,
not with opinions already fi rmly formed.
2. Fred never misses his daily workout; he believes keeps him healthy.
3. Citizens of New Orleans are proud of city’s heritage.
4. For some students, college is often their fi rst experience with an unsuper-
vised learning situation, and are not always ready to accept the
responsibility.
5. Our new neighbors moved in three months ago, but I have yet to
meet
it
ACTIVITY 1
Indefi nite Pronouns The following words, known as indefi nite pronouns, are always singular.
(-one words) (-body words) one, no one nobody each
anyone anybody either
everyone everybody neither
someone somebody
If a pronoun in a sentence refers to one of those singular words, the pronoun should
be singular.
Each father felt that his child should have won the contest.
One of the women could not fi nd her purse.
Everyone must be in his seat before the instructor takes attendance.
In each example, the circled pronoun is singular because it refers to one of the
special singular words.
The last example is correct if everyone in the class is a man. If everyone in the
class is a woman, the pronoun would be her. If the class has both women and men, the pronoun form would be his or her:
Everyone must be in his or her seat before the instructor takes attendance.
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418 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Some writers follow the traditional practice of using his to refer to both women and men. Many now use his or her to avoid an implied sexual bias. To avoid using his or the somewhat awkward his or her, a sentence can often be rewritten in the plural:
Students must be in their seats before the instructor takes attendance.
Underline the correct pronoun. Check your answers against a partner’s.
1. Some young man has blocked the parking lot exit with (his, their) sports car.
2. An elderly, stylishly dressed gentleman sporting a top hat and tails made (his,
their) way into the fashionable restaurant.
3. Neither of the men arrested as terrorists would reveal (his, their) real name.
4. Anyone who joins the Women’s Civic Club can add (her, their) voice to the
discussions held at monthly meetings.
5. Each of the president’s female advisors offered (her, their) opinion about the
abortion bill.
Pronoun Reference A sentence may be confusing and unclear if a pronoun appears to refer to more
than one word, or if the pronoun does not refer to any specifi c word. Look at this
sentence:
Joe almost dropped out of high school, for he felt they emphasized discipline too much.
Who emphasized discipline too much? There is no specifi c word that they refers to. Be clear:
Joe almost dropped out of high school, for he felt the teachers emphasized discipline too much.
Below are sentences with other kinds of faulty pronoun reference. Read the expla-
nations of why they are faulty and look carefully at how they are corrected.
Faulty Clear
ACTIVITY 2
June told Margie that she lacked self-confi dence.
(Who lacked self-confi dence: June or Margie? Be clear.)
Nancy’s mother is a hairdresser, but
Nancy is not interested in it.
June told Margie, “You lack
self-confi dence.”
(Quotation marks, which can
sometimes be used to correct an
unclear reference, are explained on
pages 468–475.)
Nancy’s mother is a hairdresser,
but Nancy is not interested in be-
coming one.
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Chapter 25 Pronoun Agreement and Reference 419 C
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Rewrite each of the following sentences to make the vague pronoun reference
clear. Add, change, or omit words as necessary.
example
Our cat was friends with our hamster until he bit him.
1. They found him not guilty, and she set him free immediately.
2. They claim that if the American colonists had lost the Revolutionary War, we
would still be governed by Britain.
3. Telephone personnel provide assistance when they’re not working correctly.
4. Jeanne told Maria she had been promoted.
5. I love Parmesan cheese on veal, but it does not always digest well.
Until the cat bit the hamster, the two were fr iends.
(There is no specifi c word that it refers to. It would not make sense
to say, “Nancy is not interested in
hairdresser.”)
Ron blamed the police offi cer for
the ticket, which was foolish. (Does which mean that the ticket was foolish or that Ron’s blaming
the offi cer was foolish? Be clear.)
Foolishly, Ron blamed the police
offi cer for the ticket.
ACTIVITY 3
Faulty Clear
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420 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
REVIEW TEST 1
Cross out the pronoun error in each sentence, and write the correct word(s) on the
line following the sentence. Then in the space provided, write whether the rule
being followed is about pronoun agreement or about pronoun reference.
examples
Many students begin college without any idea what he or she
will study.
The years pass quickly, and they will soon need to focus on a
main interest.
1. If a person wants to become a high school history
teacher, they should major in secondary education.
2. Astronomers are scientists who study the stars; they often
are out very late at night.
3. College students wanting to be cryptologists need to
study math, and he or she will also need to be good
at solving puzzles and creating and breaking codes.
4. All students who want to enter law school and who
expect college admissions personnel to consider their
applications must take the LSAT before they will look at
the application.
5. Anybody who wants to be a fi refi ghter will need to be in
top physical condition to pass their physical examination.
6. Not all food service workers need college degrees, but
they can help with advancement.
7. A student who wants to study the fi eld of biomedical
engineering should be prepared to spend his college years
taking chemistry, biology, anatomy, and engineering
classes.
8. Zoologists work at zoos and aquariums with animals,
and they often travel to natural habitats to learn more.
9. Everyone who wants to become a doctor will have
to pass their United States Medical Licensing Exam.
Pronoun Agreement they
Pronoun Reference students
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Chapter 25 Pronoun Agreement and Reference 421 C
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10. A student who wants to work outdoors could choose to
be a fi sh and game warden, but they should be prepared
to major in wildlife management.
REVIEW TEST 2
Underline the correct word in parentheses.
1. Philip is the kind of father who likes to keep in close contact with (his, their)
children.
2. Hoping to be fi rst in line when (they, the ushers) opened the doors, we arrived
two hours early for the concert.
3. If a person really wants to appreciate good coffee, (he or she, they) should
drink it black.
4. I have been interested in gardening ever since my grandmother kept
(a garden, one) in her backyard.
5. Lois often visits the reading center in school, for she fi nds that (they, the
tutors) give her helpful instruction.
6. Nobody in our house can express (his or her, their) opinion without starting
an argument.
7. As the room got colder, everybody wished for (his or her, their) coat.
8. Each of my brothers has had (his, their) apartment broken into.
9. If someone is going to write a composition, (he or she, they) should prepare
at least one rough draft.
10. My uncle gets into the movies for half price; (that discount, it) is one of the
advantages of being a senior citizen.
11. I’ve been taking cold medicine, and now (it, the cold) is better.
12. Each one of the Boy Scouts was required to bring (his, their) sleeping bags.
13. An annual fl u shot is a good idea; (it, they) will help children and older
people stay healthy.
14. Indira had been following the legislators’ views on immigration laws, and she
could not believe how many times (they, the legislators’ views) changed.
15. Both the front door and the back door of the abandoned house had fallen off
(its, their) hinges.
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Subject Pronouns Subject pronouns are subjects of verbs.
She is wearing blue nail polish on her toes. (She is the subject of the verb is wearing.)
They ran up three fl ights of stairs. (They is the subject of the verb ran.)
We children should have some privacy too. (We is the subject of the verb should have.)
Rules for using subject pronouns, and several kinds of mistakes people sometimes
make with subject pronouns, are explained in the pages that follow.
Pronoun Types C H A P T E R
Subject and Object Pronouns Pronouns change their form depending on the purpose they serve in a sentence.
In the box that follows is a list of subject and object pronouns.
This chapter describes some common types of pronouns: subject and object pronouns, possessive pronouns, and demonstrative pronouns.
Subject Pronouns Object Pronouns I me
you you (no change)
he him
she her
it it (no change)
we us
they them
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Chapter 26 Pronoun Types 423 C
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Rule 1 Use a subject pronoun in spots where you have a compound (more than one) subject.
Incorrect Correct Sally and me are exactly the Sally and I are exactly the same size. same size.
Her and me share our wardrobes She and I share our wardrobes with each other. with each other.
If you are not sure what pronoun to use, try each pronoun by itself in the sentence. The correct pronoun will be the one that sounds right. For example, “Her shares her wardrobe” does not sound right. “She shares her wardrobe” does.
TI P
To avoid having to use the subject pronoun form after be, you can simply reword a sentence. Here is how the preceding examples could be reworded:
I was the one who called you a minute ago and then hung up. They may be the ones entering the diner. He put the white tablecloth into the washing machine with a red sock.
TI P
Rule 2 Use a subject pronoun after forms of the verb be. Forms of be include am, are, is, was, were, has been, and have been.
It was I who called you a minute ago and then hung up.
It may be they entering the diner.
It was he who put the white tablecloth into the washing machine with a red sock.
The sentences above may sound strange and stilted to you because they are
seldom used in conversation. When we speak with one another, forms such as “It
was me,” “It may be them,” and “It is him” are widely accepted. In formal writing,
however, the grammatically correct forms are still preferred.
Rule 3 Use subject pronouns after than or as. The subject pronoun is used because a verb is understood after the pronoun.
Mark can hold his breath longer than I (can). (The verb can is understood after I.)
Her thirteen-year-old daughter is as tall as she (is). (The verb is is understood after she.)
You drive much better than he (drives). (The verb drives is understood after he.)
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424 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Object Pronouns Object pronouns (for example, me, him, her, us, them) are the objects of verbs or prepositions. (Prepositions are connecting words like for, at, about, to, before, by, with, and of. See also page 361.)
Lee pushed me. (Me is the object of the verb pushed.)
We dragged them all the way home. (Them is the object of the verb dragged.)
She wrote all about us in her diary. (Us is the object of the preposition about.)
Vera passed a note to him as she walked to the pencil sharpener. (Him is the object of the preposition to.)
People are sometimes uncertain about which pronoun to use when two objects
follow the verb.
Incorrect Correct I argued with his sister and he. I argued with his sister and him.
The cashier cheated Rick and I. The cashier cheated Rick and me.
If you are not sure which pronoun to use, try each pronoun by itself in the sentence. The correct pronoun will be the one that sounds right. For example, “I argued with he” does not sound right; “I argued with him” does.
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Avoid mistakes by mentally adding the “missing” verb at the end of the sentence.TI
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ACTIVITY 1 Underline the correct subject or object pronoun in each of the following sentences. Then show whether your answer is a subject or an object pronoun by circling S or
O in the margin. The fi rst one is done for you as an example.
S O 1. Darcy and (she, her) kept dancing even after the band stopped
playing.
S O 2. Both Sam and (I, me) submitted proposals for the project.
S O 3. Dawn is good at bowling, but her little sister is even better than
(she, her).
S O 4. Their track team won because they practiced more than (we, us).
S O 5. (We, Us) choir members get to perform for the governor.
S O 6. The rest of (they, them) came to the wedding by train.
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Chapter 26 Pronoun Types 425 C
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S O 7. (Her, She) and Albert have teamed up to study for the chemistry
exam.
S O 8. Between you and (I, me), I don’t believe in fl ying saucers.
S O 9. Tony and (he, him) look a lot alike, but they’re not even related.
S O 10. Gordon asked Steve and (her, she) to join his study group.
Possessive Pronouns Possessive pronouns show ownership or possession.
Using a small branch, Stu wrote his initials in the wet cement.
The furniture is mine, but the car is hers.
Here is a list of possessive pronouns:
my, mine our, ours
your, yours your, yours
his their, theirs
her, hers
its
Incorrect Correct That earring is her’s. That earring is hers.
The orange cat is theirs’. The orange cat is theirs.
A possessive pronoun never uses an apostrophe. (See also page 463.)TI P
ACTIVITY 2Cross out the incorrect pronoun form in each of the sentences below. Write the cor- rect form in the space at the left.
example
The house with the maroon shutters is ours’.
1. A porcupine has no quills on it’s belly.
2. The desk chair we just bought is less comfortable than her’s
3. You can easily tell which team is ours’ by when we cheer.
ours
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426 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
4. It’s banks swollen, the river nearly overfl owed into the middle of
town.
5. Grandma’s silverware and dishes will be yours’ when you get
married.
this these
that those
Demonstrative Pronouns Demonstrative pronouns point to or single out a person or thing. There are four
demonstrative pronouns:
Generally speaking, this and these refer to things close at hand; that and those refer to things farther away. These four pronouns are commonly used in the role of
demonstrative adjectives as well.
This milk has gone sour.
My wife insists on saving all these cooking magazines.
I almost tripped on that roller blade at the bottom of the steps.
Those plants in the corner don’t get enough light.
Do not use them, this here, that there, these here, or those there to point out. Use only this, that, these, or those.TI
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Cross out the incorrect form of the demonstrative pronoun and write the correct
form in the space provided.
example
Those there tires look worn.
1. This here child has a high fever.
2. Them birds on the lawn are crows.
3. These here mistakes in his paper need correcting.
4. That there umpire won’t stand for any temper tantrums.
5. I am saving them old baby clothes for my daughter’s dolls.
Th ose
ACTIVITY 3
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Chapter 26 Pronoun Types 427 C
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REVIEW TEST
Read the paragraph and underline the correct word in the parentheses.
Three notable writers, Charlotte, Emily, and Anne Brontë, wrote and published in the 1800s before women authors were widely accepted. The sisters are well known in literary circles, but few know (their, them) personal history. (Theirs’, Their) family moved to Haworth in 1820 when Reverend Patrick Brontë was appointed curate of Haworth. In 1821, Patrick’s wife, Maria, died; (this, this here) meant that he had to care for his children (fi ve girls and one boy). To help (he, him), Maria’s sister, Elizabeth, moved in and took over the care of the children. In 1824, four of the girls were sent to the Clergy Daughters’ School at Cowan Bridge. (That there, That) school was a very cruel and terrible place, and the two oldest girls died as a result of (it’s, its) poor food and harsh conditions. Reverend Brontë decided that (he, him) and Elizabeth should educate the remaining four children—Charlotte, Emily, Anne, and Branwell—at home. During this time, the girls spent many hours developing (her, their) creativity. In 1842, Elizabeth died, leaving some money to the family. In 1846, the girls used part of the money to have their poems published. Because women writers weren’t widely received, (they, them) titled the book Poems by Currer, Ellis, and Acton Bell. The book of poems sold only two copies. However, Charlotte’s novel Jane Eyre was published in 1847 to great success. The Lowood School that Jane attends in the novel was modeled after the sisters’ experience at the Clergy Daughters’ School. Later that year, Emily and Anne published Wuthering Heights and Agnes Grey, respectively. All three books were originally written under (their, them) male pseudonyms. Anne published another novel the following year, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. Although her true identity was soon to be known, she published that novel, too, under (hers’, her) male pseudonym. Despite the women’s success in the publishing world, 1848 was the beginning of a very sad time for the Brontë family. Between September 24, 1848 and May 28, 1849, Branwell, Emily, and Anne all died of tuberculosis. To cope with her sadness, Charlotte turned to her writing. In 1849, (she, her) published Shirley, and in 1853 Villette. She married Arthur Bell Nicholls in 1854, but didn’t have the opportunity to enjoy (these, this) newly found happiness. She died in 1855 while expecting her fi rst child. (These, These here) three writers of Victorian England had very short and diffi cult lives, but (them, they) left a unique and lasting literary legacy.
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Adjectives and Adverbs
C H A P T E R
Adjectives What Are Adjectives? Adjectives describe nouns (the names of persons, places, or things) or pronouns.
Ernie is a rich man. (The adjective rich describes the noun man.)
He is also generous. (The adjective generous describes the pronoun he.)
Our gray cat sleeps a lot. (The adjective gray describes the noun cat.)
She is old. (The adjective old describes the pronoun she.)
Adjectives usually come before the word they describe (as in rich man and gray cat). But they come after forms of the verb be (is, are, was, were, and so on). They also follow verbs such as look, appear, seem, become, sound, taste, and smell.
That speaker was boring. (The adjective boring describes the speaker.)
The Petersons are homeless. (The adjective homeless describes the Petersons.)
The soup looked good. (The adjective good describes the soup.)
But it tasted salty. (The adjective salty describes the pronoun it.)
Using Adjectives to Compare Adjectives are often used to compare things or people. Use the comparative form
of the adjective if two things or people are being compared. Use the superlative
form of the adjective if three or more people or things are being compared.
For nearly all one-syllable adjectives and some two-syllable adjectives, add -er when comparing two things and -est when comparing three or more things.
My sister’s handwriting is neater than mine, but Mother’s is the neatest.
Charles is wealthier than Thomas, but James is the wealthiest of the brothers.
Note: The y in wealthy has been changed to an i.
Adjectives and adverbs are descriptive words. Their purpose is to make the meaning of the words they describe more specifi c.
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Chapter 27 Adjectives and Adverbs 429 C
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For some two-syllable adjectives and all longer adjectives, add more when comparing two things and most when comparing three or more things.
In general, scorpion venom is more poisonous than bee venom, but the most poisonous venom comes from snakes.
Basketball is more exciting than baseball, but football is the most exciting sport of all.
You can usually tell when to use more and most by the sound of a word. For ex- ample, you can probably tell by its sound that “carefuller” would be too awkward
to say and that more careful is thus correct. There are many words for which both -er or -est and more or most are equally
correct. For instance, either “a more fair rule” or “a fairer rule” is correct.
To form negative comparisons, use less and least.
When kids called me “Dum-dum,” I tried to look less hurt than I felt.
Arthur spent less time on the project than anyone else, yet he won fi rst prize.
Suzanne is the most self-centered, least thoughtful person I know.
Points to Remember about Comparing Point 1 Use only one form of comparison at a time. In other words, do not use both an -er ending and more or both an -est ending and most.
Incorrect Correct My southern accent is always
more stronger after I visit my family in Georgia.
My most luckiest day was the day I met my wife.
My southern accent is always
stronger after I visit my family in Georgia.
My luckiest day was the day I met my wife.
Point 2 Learn the irregular forms of the following words.
Comparative Superlative (for (for Comparing Comparing Three Two Things) or More Things) bad worse worst
good, well better best
little (in amount) less least
much, many more most
Do not use both more and an irregular comparative or most and an irregular superlative.
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430 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Adverbs What Are Adverbs? Adverbs describe verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs. They usually end in -ly.
The referee suddenly stopped the fi ght. (The adverb suddenly describes the verb stopped.)
Her yellow rosebushes are absolutely beautiful. (The adverb absolutely de- scribes the adjective beautiful.)
The auctioneer spoke so terribly fast that I couldn’t understand him. (The ad- verb terribly describes the adverb fast.)
Add to each sentence the correct form of the word in the margin.
examples
The meal I have ever had was at Bert’s Bacteria
Bonanza and Barbecue.
The day I sold my boat was even than the day I
bought it.
1. The Grammy awards are given to the recording
artists of each year.
2. Sandra is even than her sister, who holds a doc-
torate in physics.
3. Among all of the protesters, he seemed to be the .
4. A pound of feathers is no than a pound of stones.
5. The expensive way to accumulate a wardrobe is
to buy used clothing whenever possible.
bad worst
wonderful more wonderful
good
intelligent
angry
light
little
ACTIVITY 1
It is more better to stay healthy than to have to get healthy.
Yesterday I went on the most best date of my life—and all we did
was go on a picnic.
It is better to stay healthy than to have to get healthy.
Yesterday I went on the best date of my life—and all we did was go
on a picnic.
Incorrect Correct
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Chapter 27 Adjectives and Adverbs 431 C
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Underline the adjective or adverb needed.
Remember: Adjectives describe nouns or pronouns. Adverbs describe verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs.HI
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1. During a quiet moment in class, my stomach rumbled (loud, loudly).
2. I’m a (slow, slowly) reader, so I have to put aside more time to study than
some of my friends.
3. Thinking no one was looking, my daughter (quick, quickly) peeked into the
bag to see what we had bought for her.
4. The train raced (swift, swiftly) across the frozen prairie.
5. Mr. Mendoza is (slight, slightly) younger than his wife, but he looks much
older than she.
ACTIVITY 2
ACTIVITY 3
Well and Good Two words that are often confused are well and good. Good is an adjective; it de- scribes nouns. Well is usually an adverb, and when it is, it describes verbs. But well (rather than good) is used as an adjective to refer to a person’s health.
Write well or good in each of the sentences that follow. Compare your answers with a partner’s.
1. I could tell by the broad grin on Della’s face that the news was .
2. They say my grandfather sang so that even the wind stopped to
listen.
3. After she got a fl u shot, Kathy did not feel .
4. The artist who painted the mural at our school did a job.
5. People who eat usually know something about nutrition.
A Common Mistake with Adverbs and Adjectives People often mistakenly use an adjective instead of an adverb after a verb.
Incorrect Correct I jog slow.
The nervous witness spoke quiet.
The fi rst night I quit smoking, I
wanted a cigarette bad.
I jog slowly.
The nervous witness spoke quietly.
The fi rst night I quit smoking, I
wanted a cigarette badly.
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432 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Underline the correct word or words in the parentheses.
1. Alexandrite is a very rare gemstone that is (more valuable, most valuable) than
a diamond.
2. The doctor predicted that Ben would soon be (good, well) enough to go home.
3. The (little, less) time I spend worrying about a problem, the easier it is to solve.
4. Light walls make a room look (more large, larger) than dark walls do.
5. Jean is one of the (brightest, most brightest) women I have ever met.
6. The moth (continuous, continuously) thumped against the screen.
7. The Amish manage (good, well) without radios, telephones, or television.
8. When the prisoners of war were taken into the military compound, the guards
were warned not to treat them (bad, badly).
9. It is (good, better) to teach people to fi sh than to give them fi sh.
10. Our new senator is (more honest, honester) than the last.
REVIEW TEST 2
REVIEW TEST 1
The following paragraph contains ten errors in adjective and adverb use. Draw a
line through each error and write the correct word in the space above.
Egypt has always been a popularly destination for travelers who want to
learn about the ancient world. It is the oldest constant inhabited region in the
world. Archaeologists and scholars believe people have been living in the
region since 6500 BC. Some of the most good tourist attractions are the Pyramid
of Djoser, the Egyptian Museum, the Temple of Karnak, and the Pyramids at
Giza. The Pyramid of Djoser is considered the fi rstly Egyptian pyramid and
is a step pyramid. The Egyptian Museum houses more than 120,000 ancient
Egyptian antiquities, most notable, artifacts from the Valley of the Kings and
the Tomb of Tutankhamen. The Temple of Karnak is the larger ancient religious
site ever built and includes three main temples, additional more small temples,
and several outer temples. The most well known tourist destination is Giza. The
Great Pyramid of Khufu at Giza is the bigger pyramid in Egypt and,
in fact, the biggest in the world. A visit to Egypt will be educationally for all
and offers a well way for tourists to learn about ancient cultures.
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Misplaced and Dangling Modifi ers
C H A P T E R
Modifi ers are descriptive words. Misplaced modifi ers are words that, be- cause of awkward placement, do not describe what the author intended them to describe. Dangling modifi ers are descriptive words that open a sen- tence; like misplaced modifi ers, they also do not describe what the author intended them to describe.
What Misplaced Modifi ers Are and How to Correct Them As mentioned, misplaced modifi ers are awkwardly placed words that do not de- scribe the words the writer intended them to describe. Misplaced modifi ers often
obscure the meaning of a sentence. To avoid them, place words as close as possible
to what they describe.
Misplaced Words Correctly Placed Words Tony bought an old car from Tony bought an old car with a
a crooked dealer with a faulty faulty transmission from a transmission. crooked dealer. (The dealer had a faulty (The words describing the old transmission?) car are now placed next to “car.”)
I nearly earned two hundred I earned nearly two hundred dollars dollars last week. last week.
(You just missed earning two (The meaning—that you earned a
hundred dollars, but in fact little under two hundred dollars—is
earned nothing?) now clear.)
Bill yelled at the howling dog in Bill, in his underwear, yelled at the his underwear. howling dog. (The dog wore underwear?) (The words describing Bill are placed next to “Bill.”)
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434 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Underline the misplaced word or words in each sentence. Then rewrite the sen-
tence, placing related words together and thereby making the meaning clear.
examples
The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli features a beautiful woman standing on a seashell in the halls of the Uffi zi Gallery in Italy.
Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper on the wall of Santa Maria delle Grazie church is a large fresco style painting in Milan, Italy.
1. Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio’s painting Medusa by Perseus the Greek hero depicts the moment she realizes her head has been severed.
2. The Scream by Edvard Munch, one of the most well-known paintings in his- tory, shows an individual on a bridge screaming.
3. The Two Fridas by Frida Kahlo most likely portrays the painter’s feelings about her divorce with one Frida displaying a whole heart and the second
Frida displaying a wounded bleeding heart.
4. Matisse created after he could no longer paint gouache découpée works like
The Snail.
5. Winslow Homer painted The Blue Boat, which depicts two men fi shing in a small blue canoe in 1892.
In the halls of the Uff ızi Gallery in Italy, Th e Birth of Venus by Sandro Bott icelli features a
beautiful woman standing on a seashell.
Leonardo da Vinci’s Th e Last Supp er is a large fr es co style painting on the wall of Santa
Maria delle Grazie church in Milan, Italy.
ACTIVITY 1
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What Dangling Modifi ers Are and How to Correct Them A modifi er that opens a sentence must be followed immediately by the word it is
meant to describe. Otherwise, the modifi er is said to be dangling, and the sentence takes on an unintended meaning. For example, in the sentence
While smoking a pipe, my dog sat with me by the crackling fi re.
the unintended meaning is that the dog was smoking the pipe. What the writer meant, of course, was that he, the writer, was smoking the pipe. The dangling modifi er could be corrected by placing I, the word being described, directly after the opening modifi er and revising as necessary:
While smoking a pipe, I sat with my dog by the crackling fi re.
6. Mary Cassatt was an American artist who illustrated the connection in her paintings between a mother and child.
7. Paul Klee’s Static-Dynamic Gradation, may just look like a bunch of squares, but is actually a study of hues, colors, and contrast.
8. Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks became even more famous on coffee mugs when Starbucks used the image.
9. Francisco Goya painted La Cometa, which means “kite” in the 1770s; it illus- trates a group of people who are watching a kite fl ying.
10. Georgia O’Keeffe developed a style of painting that was strongly infl uenced
by the New Mexico countryside and colors after a visit to Santa Fe in 1929.
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436 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
In some cases an appropriate subordinating word such as when must be added, and the verb may have to be changed slightly as well.TI
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The dangling modifi er could also be corrected by placing the subject within the
opening word group:
While I was smoking my pipe, my dog sat with me by the crackling fi re.
Here are other sentences with dangling modifi ers. Read the explanations of
why they are dangling and look carefully at how they are corrected.
Dangling Correct Swimming at the lake, a rock cut Swimming at the lake, Sue cut her
Sue’s foot. foot on a rock.
(Who was swimming at the lake? Or: When Sue was swimming at The answer is not rock but Sue. the lake, she cut her foot on a rock. The subject Sue must be added.)
While eating my sandwich, fi ve While I was eating my sandwich, mosquitoes bit me. fi ve mosquitoes bit me.
(Who is eating the sandwich? The Or: While eating my sandwich, I answer is not fi ve mosquitoes, as it was bitten by fi ve mosquitoes. unintentionally seems to be, but I. The subject I must be added.)
Getting out of bed, the tile fl oor Getting out of bed, Yoko found the was so cold that Yoko shivered all tile fl oor so cold that she shivered
over. all over.
(Who got out of bed? The answer Or: When Yoko got out of bed, is not tile fl oor but Yoko. The the tile fl oor was so cold that she subject Yoko must be added.) shivered all over.
To join the team, a C average or To join the team, you must have a better is necessary. C average or better.
(Who is to join the team? The Or: For you to join the team, a C answer is not C average but you. average or better is necessary. The subject you must be added.)
The preceding examples make clear the two ways of correcting a dangling
modifi er. Decide on a logical subject and do one of the following:
1. Place the subject within the opening word group.
When Sue was swimming at the lake, she cut her foot on a rock.
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Ask Who? as you look at the opening words in each sentence. The subject that an- swers the question should be nearby in the sentence. If it is not, provide the logical
subject by using either method of correction described above.
example While setting up camp, a bear was spotted.
or
1. Watching the horror movie, goose bumps covered my spine.
2. After putting on a wool sweater, the room didn’t seem as cold.
3. Walking down the stairs, loud music could be heard.
4. To assess the effects of a possible tuition hike, several students were interviewed.
5. Joining several college clubs, Antonio’s social life became more active.
6. While visiting the Jungle Park Safari, a baboon scrambled onto the hood of
their car.
While we were sett ing up camp, we spott ed a bear.
While sett ing up camp, we spott ed a bear.
2. Place the subject right after the opening word group.
Swimming at the lake, Sue cut her foot on a rock.
ACTIVITY 2
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438 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
7. When only a boy, that wild horse was trained.
8. Standing at the ocean’s edge, the wind coated my glasses with a salty fi lm.
9. After laughing for two hours straight, Rita’s stomach started to ache.
10. Using binoculars, the hawk was clearly seen following its prey.
REVIEW TEST 1
In each pair below, one sentence is correct and one contains an error. Underline the
misplaced word or words in each sentence that has an error. Write M for misplaced modifi er or C for correct in front of each sentence.
1. Having been held up, the police were called by the store owner.
2. Having been held up, the store owner called the police.
3. I noticed a crack in the window walking into the delicatessen.
4. Walking into the delicatessen, I noticed a crack in the window.
5. Though he thought the job was long-term, Sam worked in Phoenix
only one day.
6. Though he thought the job was long-term, Sam only worked in
Phoenix one day.
7. With great delight, the children were ready to devour the luscious
dessert.
8. The children were ready to devour the luscious dessert with great delight.
9. In a secondhand store, Willie found a television set that had been
stolen from me last month.
10. Willie found a television set in a secondhand store that had been stolen
from me last month.
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Chapter 28 Misplaced and Dangling Modifi ers 439 C
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REVIEW TEST 2
REVIEW TEST 3
In each pair below, one sentence is correct and one contains an error. Write D for dangling or C for correct in the blank next to each sentence. Remember that the opening words are a dangling modifi er if they have no nearby logical subject to
modify.
1. Advertising on Craigslist, Ian’s car was quickly sold.
2. By advertising on Craigslist, Ian quickly sold his car.
3. After painting the downstairs, the house needed airing to clear out the
fumes.
4. After we painted the downstairs, the house needed airing to clear out
the fumes.
5. Believing Venice to be the most romantic city in Europe, a visit there
was planned for our honeymoon.
6. Believing Venice to be the most romantic city in Europe, we planned a
visit there for our honeymoon.
7. After picking out a suit, a tie and a shirt were added to my list.
8. After picking out a suit, I added a tie and a shirt to my list.
9. Casting his fi shing line into the lake, a largemouth bass could be felt
grabbing his bait.
10. Casting his fi shing line into the lake, Matthew could feel a largemouth
bass grabbing his bait.
Make the changes needed to correct the misplaced and dangling modifi ers in the
following sentences.
1. Willa Cather, author of O Pioneers, often wrote about women doing unusual things in her books.
2. A disturbing short story, Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Fall of the House of Usher”
contains the standard features of a Gothic story.
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440 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
3. Kate Chopin wrote about the oppression of women in traditional society in
many stories.
4. In “And of Clay Are We Created,” Isabel Allende writes about how the death
of a young girl affects a young man with deep feeling.
5. Often refl ecting very real situations and violent deaths, Ambrose Bierce
wrote many short stories.
6. Reading “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka, an unexplained fear of
apples and large bugs is caused.
7. F. Scott Fitzgerald is best known for his novel, which takes place in the
1920s, The Great Gatsby.
8. Credited as the father of the American short story, “Rip Van Winkle” was
written by Washington Irving.
9. Although “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson was written in 1948, it is infl u-
encing other stories still in the twenty-fi rst century.
10. Overlooking the connection and courage her family offers in “Everyday
Use,” Alice Walker writes about a young woman, Dee, who strives to fi nd her
identity.
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Mechanics S E C T I O N
SECTION PREVIEW Chapter 29 Paper Format
Chapter 30 Capital Letters
Chapter 31 Numbers and Abbreviations
WHEN ARE ABBREVIATIONS APPROPRIATE? Many people use abbreviations in their e-mail and text messages. What is your personal view about that use? Are these kinds of abbreviations ever appropriate in your college papers? Why or why not?
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Guidelines for Formatting a Paper When you hand in a paper for any of your courses, probably the fi rst thing you will
be judged on is its format. It is important, then, that you do certain things to make
your papers look attractive, neat, and easy to read.
Here are guidelines to follow in preparing a paper for an instructor:
1. Use full-size theme or printer paper, 8½ by 11 inches.
2. Leave wide margins (1 inch) on all four sides of each page. In particular,
do not crowd the right-hand or bottom margin. The white space makes
your paper more readable; also, the instructor has room for comments.
3. If you write by hand:
a. Use a pen with blue or black ink (not a pencil). b. Do not overlap letters. Do not make decorative loops on letters. On
narrow-ruled paper, write only on every other line.
c. Make all your letters distinct. Pay special attention to a, e, i, o, and u—fi ve letters that people sometimes write illegibly.
d. Keep your capital letters clearly distinct from small letters. You may
even want to print all the capital letters.
e. Make commas, periods, and other punctuation marks fi rm and clear.
Leave a slight space after each period.
4. Center the title of your paper on the fi rst line of page 1. Do not put quota- tion marks around the title, do not underline it, and do not put a period after
it. Capitalize all the major words in a title, including the fi rst and last words.
Short connecting words within a title such as of, for, the, in, and to are not capitalized. Skip a line between the title and the fi rst line of your text.
5. Indent the fi rst line of each paragraph about fi ve spaces (half an inch)
from the left-hand margin.
Paper Format C H A P T E R
This chapter will describe the required manuscript format, or the formal characteristics, for any paper you hand in.
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6. When you type, use double-spacing between lines and leave an extra space
after each period.
7. Whenever possible, avoid breaking (hyphenating) words at the end
of lines. If you must break a word, break only between syllables
(see page 487). Do not break words of one syllable.
8. Write your name, the date, and the course number where your instructor
asks for them.
Also keep in mind these important points about the title and fi rst sentence of your paper:
9. The title should simply be several words that tell what the paper is about.
It should usually not be a complete sentence. For example, if you are writ- ing a paper about one of the most frustrating jobs you have ever had, the
title could be just “A Frustrating Job.”
10. Do not rely on the title to help explain the fi rst sentence of your paper. The
fi rst sentence must be independent of the title. For instance, if the title of
your paper is “A Frustrating Job,” the fi rst sentence should not be “It was working as a babysitter.” Rather, the fi rst sentence might be “Working as a
babysitter was the most frustrating job I ever had.”
ACTIVITY 1Identify the mistakes in format in the following lines from a student paper. Explain the corrections in the spaces provided. One correction is provided as an example.
“Charles Darwin: his voy age on the ship beagle”
He was a man wh o put forth the theories of evolution and natural select ion.
Darwin was the naturalist aboard the English ship Beagle (1831-36), wh ich made
a nearly fi ve-year journey all over the globe. Its offi cial miss ion was to chart the
coastline of South America. However, on that journey , Darwin started collect ing
information that would form the basis of his scientifi c career.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Hyphenate only bet ween sy llables .
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444 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
A title often refl ects the purpose of the paper. For an essay, the title can be based on
the thesis statement. For a paragraph, the title can be based on the topic sentence.
Both the thesis and/or the topic sentence express the topic and the main idea of
the paper. Following are fi ve topic sentences from student papers. Working with
a partner, write a suitable and specifi c title for each paper, basing the title on the
topic sentence. (Note the example.)
example
Learning how to compromise is essential to a good relationship.
1. Title:
Some houseplants are dangerous to children and pets.
2. Title:
Some herbicides can be as dangerous to human beings as to weeds.
3. Title:
You don’t have to be a professional to take good photographs if you keep a
few guidelines in mind.
4. Title:
My husband is compulsively neat.
5. Title:
Insulating a home well can save the owner a great deal of money on heating
and cooling.
Compromise in a Relationship
ACTIVITY 2
ACTIVITY 3 As has already been stated, you must not rely on the title to help explain your fi rst sentence. In four of the fi ve sentences that follow, the writer has, inappropriately,
used the title to help explain the fi rst sentence.
Rewrite these four sentences so that they stand independent of the title. Write
Correct under the one sentence that is independent of the title.
example
Title: My Career Plans
First sentence: They have changed in the last six months.
Rewritten: My career plans have changed in the last six months.
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1. Title: Contending with Dogs
First sentence: This is the main problem in my work as a mail carrier.
Rewritten:
2. Title: Study Skills
First sentence: Good study skills are necessary if a person is to do well in college.
Rewritten:
3. Title: Black Bears
First Sentence: We saw several of them as we drove across the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Rewritten:
4. Title: The Renaissance
First Sentence: It was the period that followed the Middle Ages in Europe.
Rewritten:
5. Title: Cell Phones
First sentence: Many motorists have learned the hard way just how danger- ous these handy tools can be.
Rewritten:
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446 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
REVIEW TEST
In the space provided, rewrite the following sentences from a student paper. Cor-
rect the mistakes in format.
“beijing: china’s capital then and now”
Th is city is the capital of the People’s Republic of China. It is the sec ond larges t city
city in China; Shanghai is the larges t. For more than seven hundred years, on and off ,
Beijing has been the seat of the Chines e government. For a time, its name was Peking.
However, wh en the Communist s took over the country in 1949, they gave the city back
its ancient name. Important tourist sites in and near Beijing include the Forbidden
City, the Summer Palace, the Beijing Zoo, and the Great Wall.
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Capital Letters C H A P T E R
This chapter will describe main uses of capital letters; secondary uses of capital letters; and unnecessary uses of capital letters.
Main Uses of Capital Letters Capital letters are used with
1. The fi rst word in a sentence or a direct quotation
2. Names of persons and the word I
3. Names of particular places
4. Names of days of the week, months, and holidays
5. Names of commercial products (brand names)
6. Names of organizations such as religious and political groups, associations,
companies, unions, and clubs
7. Titles of books, magazines, newspapers, articles, stories, poems, fi lms,
podcasts, television shows, songs, papers that you write, and the like
Each use is illustrated on the pages that follow.
First Word in a Sentence or Direct Quotation The panhandler touched me and asked, “Do you have any change?”
(Capitalize the fi rst word in the (Capitalize the fi rst word in the
sentence.) direct quotation.)
“If you want a ride,” said Tawana, “get ready now. Otherwise, I’m going alone.”
(If and Otherwise are capitalized because they are the fi rst words of sentences within a direct quotation. But get is not capitalized, because it is part of the fi rst sentence within the quotation.)
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448 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Names and Titles Names of Persons and the Word I
Last night I ran into Tony Curry and Lola Morrison.
Names of Particular Places Charlotte graduated from Fargone High School in Orlando, Florida. She then
moved with her parents to Bakersfi eld, California, and worked for a time there
at Alexander’s Gift House. Eventually she married and moved with her hus-
band to the Naval Reserve Center in Atlantic County, New Jersey. She takes
courses two nights a week at Stockton State College. On weekends she and
her family often visit the nearby Wharton State Park and go canoeing on the
Mullica River. She does volunteer work at Atlantic City Hospital in connection
with the First Christian Church. In addition, she works during the summer as a
hostess at Convention Hall and the Holiday Inn.
But Use small letters if the specifi c name of a place is not given.
Charlotte sometimes remembers her unhappy days in high school and at the
gift shop where she worked after graduation. She did not imagine then that she
would one day be going to college and doing volunteer work for a church and
a hospital in the community where she and her husband live.
Names of Days of the Week, Months, and Holidays I was angry at myself for forgetting that Sunday was Mother’s Day.
During July and August, Fred works a four-day week, and he has Mondays off.
Bill still has a scar on his ankle from a cherry bomb that exploded near him one
Fourth of July and a scar on his arm where he stabbed himself with a fi shhook
on a Labor Day weekend.
But Use small letters for the seasons—summer, fall, winter, spring.
Names of Commercial Products After brushing with Colgate toothpaste in the morning, Clyde typically has
a glass of Tropicana orange juice and Total cereal with milk, followed by a
Marlboro cigarette.
My sister likes to play Monopoly and Cranium; I like chess and poker; my
brother likes Scrabble, baseball, and table tennis.
But Use small letters for the type of product (toothpaste, orange juice, cereal, cigarette, and so on).
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Cross out the words that need capitals in the following sentences. Then write the
capitalized forms of the words in the spaces provided. The number of spaces tells
you how many corrections to make in each case.
example
Nathaniel hawthorne wrote a novel entitled the Scarlet letter and a short story called “Young goodman brown.”
1. My son, jonah, loves to read the magazine, popular mechanics.
2. In december 2012, popular mechanics celebrated its 110th anniversary with a special edition, which i gave to my son for christmas.
3. One of the headlines on the front cover was “110 predictions for the next
110 years.”
Hawthorne Lett er Goodman Brown
Names of Organizations Such as Religious and Political Groups, Associations, Companies, Unions, and Clubs
Fred Grencher was a Lutheran for many years but converted to Catholicism
when he married. Both he and his wife, Martha, are members of the Demo-
cratic Party. Both belong to the American Automobile Association. Martha
works part-time as a refrigerator salesperson at Sears. Fred is a mail carrier
and belongs to the Postal Clerks’ Union.
Tony met Lola when he was a Boy Scout and she was a Campfi re Girl; she
asked him to light her fi re.
Titles of Books, Magazines, Newspapers, Articles, Stories, Poems, Films, Television Shows, Songs, Papers Th at You Write, and the Like
On Sunday Lola read the fi rst chapter of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, a book required for her writing course. She looked through her parents’ copy of the
New York Times. She then read an article titled “Thinking about a Change in Your Career” and a poem titled “Some Moments Alone” in Cosmopolitan magazine. At the same time, she listened to an old Beatles album, Abbey Road. In the eve- ning she watched 60 Minutes on television and an old movie, High Noon, starring Gary Cooper. Then from 11 P.M. to midnight she worked on a paper titled “Uses
of Leisure Time in Today’s Culture” for her sociology class.
ACTIVITY 1
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450 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
4. One of the predictions is that self-healing concrete will be used for bridges.
This concrete was invented by university of michigan engineer victor li.
5. Another prediction, made by ibm, is that people will no longer need to use
passwords because such programs as face-recognition software and retinal
scans will be widely available.
6. Several predictions are focused on how robots are going to change our lives.
Engineers at purdue university are working on robots to replace scrub nurses.
Other scientists are working on robots that will deliver food carts and move
patients.
7. My son was most excited about the prediction made by dr. fred calef of the
mars science laboratory.
8. Dr. calef explains that scientists have been unable to confi rm that dark matter
exists. He states, “it’s like a hidden magnet…,” and goes on to say that we
can see what it pulls but we can’t see the source.
9. Dr. calef and micho kaku, a theoretical physicist, believe that scientists will
discover actual evidence of the existence of dark matter, possibly in the next
fi fteen years.
10. My favorite prediction is the new self-cleaning clothing designed by
engineers in china; i hope that it makes my maytag washer obsolete!
Other Uses of Capital Letters Capital letters are also used with
1. Names that show family relationships
2. Titles of persons when used with their names
3. Specifi c school courses
4. Languages
5. Geographic locations
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6. Historical periods and events
7. Races, nations, and nationalities
8. Opening and closing of a letter
Each use is illustrated on the pages that follow.
Names and Titles Names Th at Show Family Relationships
I got Mother to babysit for me.
I went with Grandfather to the church service.
Uncle Carl and Aunt Lucy always enclose twenty dollars with birthday cards.
But Do not capitalize words like mother, father, grandmother, aunt, and so on, when they are preceded by a possessive word (my, your, his, her, our, their).
I got my mother to babysit for me.
I went with my grandfather to the church service.
My uncle and aunt always enclose twenty dollars with birthday cards.
Titles of Persons When Used with Th eir Names I wrote to Senator Grabble and Congresswoman Punchie.
Professor Snorrel sent me to Chairperson Ruck, who sent me to Dean Rappers.
He drove to Dr. Helen Thompson’s offi ce after the cat bit him.
But Use small letters when titles appear by themselves, without specifi c names.
I wrote to my senator and my congresswoman.
The professor sent me to the chairperson, who sent me to the dean.
He drove to the doctor’s offi ce after the cat bit him.
Specifi c School Courses I got an A in both Accounting and Small Business Management, but I got a C
in Human Behavior.
But Use small letters for general subject areas.
I enjoyed my business courses but not my psychology or language courses.
Miscellaneous Categories Languages
She knows German and Spanish, but she speaks mostly American slang.
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452 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Geographic Locations I grew up in the Midwest. I worked in the East for a number of years and then
moved to the West Coast.
But Use small letters for directions.
A new high school is being built at the south end of town.
Because I have a compass in my car, I know that I won’t be going east or west
when I want to go north.
Historical Periods and Events Hector did well answering an essay question about the Second World War, but
he lost points on a question about the Great Depression.
Races, Nations, and Nationalities The research study centered on African Americans and Hispanics.
They have German knives and Danish glassware in the kitchen, an Indian
wood carving in the bedroom, Mexican sculptures in the study, and a Turkish
rug in the living room.
Opening and Closing of a Letter Dear Sir:
Dear Madam:
Sincerely yours,
Truly yours,
Capitalize only the fi rst word in a closing.TI P
Working with a partner, cross out the words that need capitals in the following sen-
tences. Then write the capitalized forms of the words in the spaces provided. The
number of spaces tells you how many corrections to make in each case.
1. The fi rst european city I ever visited was london; the last was rome.
2. The e-mail letter began, “dear friend—You must send twenty copies of this
message if you want good luck.”
ACTIVITY 2
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3. A retired army offi cer, captain Evert Johnson, is teaching a course called
military history. He once served in the middle east.
4. aunt Sarah and uncle Hal, who are mormons, took us to their church services
when we visited them in the midwest.
5. While visiting san francisco, Liza stopped in at a buddhist temple and talked
to a chinese lawyer there.
Unnecessary Use of Capitals Many errors in capitalization are caused by using capitals where they are not
needed. Pages 448–452 in this chapter provide examples and explanations of
words that do not need capitals.
Cross out the incorrectly capitalized words in the following sentences. Then write
the correct forms of the words in the spaces provided. The number of spaces tells
you how many corrections to make in each sentence.
1. My cousin is taking a course in Russian History at a College in Moscow.
2. I love the television Commercials of some Insurance companies; they make
Me break out laughing.
3. A front-page Newspaper story about the crash of a commercial Jet has made
me nervous about my Overseas trip.
4. During a Terrible Blizzard in 1888, People froze to Death on the streets of
New York.
5. I asked the Bank Offi cer at Citibank, “How do I get a Card to use the
automatic teller machines?”
ACTIVITY 3
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454 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
REVIEW TEST 1
The following professional e-mail contains errors in capitalization. Draw a line
through each error. Add or delete capitals where needed. You should make thirty-
two corrections in all.
example:
Travel World is located in cheyenne, the Capital of the State of wyoming. C c s W
John C. Traveler
678 Smith lane
Cheyenne, Wyoming 12345
dear Mr. traveler:
Thank you for coming into travel world to inquire about possible Vacation
destinations for you and your family. After much research, we have found
a family-friendly biking Tour Company, called Backroads, and an itinerary
that is within the price range you provided for us. the dates for this tour
are July 1 through July 6. This tour includes an extra activity because of
the july fourth holiday.
Backroads offers a wonderful family biking vacation in maine. You will
fl y into Portland and meet your shuttle at the Portland Regency hotel. The
shuttle will take you to your hotel in Camden. The fi rst two days will be spent
in Camden; the rides include views of Penobscot bay and the hills. On the
Third day, you will have the opportunity to choose any of three biking routes
to Belfast. That afternoon will be spent in acadia national park, located on
Mount Desert Island. Day four will be spent exploring Acadia along the car-
free trails. That night, in addition to a regular visit to a Maine lobster pound,
you will participate in the Bar Harbor independence day festivities. Day
fi ve includes two biking routes on Isleford, an island in the Cranberry isles
that is now a thriving Artists’ Community. The last day includes a fi ve-mile
or twelve-mile bike ride within the region of paradise hill before the shuttle
returns you to portland for your fi nal evening before your departure.
continued
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REVIEW TEST 2
On separate paper, do the following:
1. Write seven sentences demonstrating the seven main uses of capital letters
(page 447).
2. Write eight sentences demonstrating the eight additional uses of capital letters
(pages 450– 451).
In anticipation of your possible booking, i have held this itinerary under
your name. This hold is good for the next forty-eight hours. Please give us a
call and we can discuss the Pricing and Payment options with you.
Thank you again for your business.
Sincerely yours,
Jacqueline McCoy
travel specialist
Travel world
123 Voyager Way
Cheyenne, Wyoming 12345
(123) 456-7890
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Numbers and Abbreviations
C H A P T E R
Numbers Rule 1 Spell out numbers that can be expressed in one or two words. Otherwise, use nu-
merals—the numbers themselves.
During the past fi ve years, more than twenty-fi ve barracuda have been caught
in the lake.
The parking fi ne was ten dollars.
In my grandmother’s attic are eighty-four pairs of old shoes.
But Each year about 250 baby trout are added to the lake.
My costs after contesting a parking fi ne in court were $135.
Grandmother has 382 back copies of Reader’s Digest in her attic.
Rule 2 Be consistent when you use a series of numbers. If some numbers in a sentence or
paragraph require more than two words, then use numerals throughout the selection:
During his election campaign, State Senator Mel Grabble went to 3 county
fairs, 16 parades, 45 cookouts, and 112 club dinners, and delivered the same
speech 176 times.
Rule 3 Use numerals for dates, times, addresses, percentages, and parts of a book.
The letter was dated April 3, 1872.
My appointment was at 6:15. (But: Spell out numbers before o’clock. For ex- ample: The doctor didn’t see me until seven o’clock.)
He lives at 212 West 19th Street.
This chapter will describe the proper use of numbers and abbreviations.
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While abbreviations are a helpful time-saver in note taking, you should avoid most
abbreviations in formal writing. Listed below are some of the few abbreviations
that can be used acceptably in compositions. Note that a period is used after most
abbreviations.
1. Mr., Mrs., Ms., Jr., Sr., Dr. when used with proper names:
Mr. Tibble Dr. Stein Ms. O’Reilly
2. Time references:
A.M. or a.m. P.M. or p.m. B.C. or A.D. B.C.E. or C.E.
3. First or middle name in a signature:
R. Anthony Curry Otis T. Redding J. Alfred Prufrock
4. Organizations and common terms known primarily by their initials:
FBI UN CBS CD DVD
About 20 percent of our class dropped out of school.
One cause of the Civil War is explained in Chapter 9, page 244, of our history
textbook.
Cross out the mistakes in numbers and write the corrections in the spaces provided.
1. Pearl Harbor was attacked on December the seventh, nineteen forty-one.
2. The city council decided to install 8 new traffi c lights and 30 new stop signs.
3. The Memorial Day parade will start at 11:00 o’clock; 30 organizations are
expected to march.
ACTIVITY 1
ACTIVITY 2Cross out the words that should not be abbreviated and correct them in the spaces provided. Then compare your answers with a partner’s.
1. On Mon. afternoon, Feb. 10, 2010, at fi ve min. after two o’clock, my son was born.
2. For six years I lived at First Ave. and Gordon St. right next to Shore
Memorial Hosp., in San Fran., Calif.
3. After we completed the chem. exam, Dr. Andrews announced she had been
asked to serve as Dean of Science at Aubury U. in Ariz.
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458 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
REVIEW TEST
The following e-mail contains errors in capitalization and the use of numbers and
abbreviations. Rewrite the e-mail to correct these errors in the margins or in spaces
between the lines. You should make twenty corrections in all.
From: Sherry Piper
Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014
To: Prof. Eric Dvorak
Subject: Online English 101 h.w.
Dear Prof. Dvorak:
i wanted to be sure I understood our h.w. and test review material for this
week’s Module and eng. exam. By tues., Oct. seventh, I am supposed
to answer the 4 questions that cover chapters fi ve and six, turn in my
Research Paper, and complete the exam that covers the writing process,
up-to-date doc, and annotated bibs. I believe you expect everything to be
turned in by 1 o’clock that day. Is this all correct?
Thank you,
Sherry P.
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CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE MISUSED PUNCTUATION? How could you correct the errors? Have you seen similar mistakes in signs posted on campus? on the road or in ads? in a newspaper?
SECTION PREVIEW Chapter 32 Apostrophes
Chapter 33 Quotation Marks
Chapter 34 Commas
Chapter 35 Other Punctuation Marks
Punctuation S E C T I O N
CAANNN YYYOOOUUU IIIDDDEEENNNTTTIIIFFFYYY TTTHHHEEE MMMIIISSSUUUSSSEEEDDD PPPUUUNNNCCCTTTUUUAAATTTIIIOOONNN??
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Apostrophes C H A P T E R
Apostrophe in Contractions A contraction is formed when two words are combined to make one word. An apostrophe is used to show where letters are omitted in forming the contraction.
Here are two contractions:
have 1 not 5 haven’t (o in not has been omitted)
I 1 will 5 I’ll (wi in will has been omitted)
The following are some other common contractions:
I 1 am 5 I’m it 1 is 5 it’s
I 1 have 5 I’ve it 1 has 5 it’s
I 1 had 5 I’d is 1 not 5 isn’t
who 1 is 5 who’s could 1 not 5 couldn’t
do 1 not 5 don’t I 1 would 5 I’d
did 1 not 5 didn’t they 1 are 5 they’re
The two main uses of the apostrophe are
1. To show the omission of one or more letters in a contraction 2. To show ownership or possession
Each use is explained on the pages that follow.
Will 1 not has an unusual contraction, won’t.TI P
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Apostrophe to Show Ownership or Possession To show ownership or possession, we can use such words as belongs to, possessed by, owned by, or (most commonly) of.
the jacket that belongs to Tony
the grades possessed by James
the gas station owned by our cousin
the footprints of the animal
Combine the following pairs of words into contractions. One is done for you.
1. we 1 are 5 6. should 1 not 5
2. are 1 not 5 7. have 1 not 5
3. you 1 are 5 8. who 1 is 5
4. they 1 have 5 9. does 1 not 5
5. could 1 not 5 10. there 1 is 5
we’re ACTIVITY 1
ACTIVITY 2Working with a partner, write the contractions for the words in parentheses. One is done for you.
1. Denise (should not) complain about the cost of food if (she is)
unwilling to grow her own by planting a garden in her backyard.
2. (We have) been planting our own garden for three years, and
my family (will not) even consider purchasing vegetables at
the grocery store.
3. (We are) planning to expand our garden this year; (it is)
our goal to make it twice the size that it was last year.
4. Last year, I (did not) have enough room to grow cucumbers,
squash, and pumpkins, but (I will) have more than enough room
this year.
5. (I would) be willing to show Denise how to garden if (she is)
interested.
shouldn’t she’s
Even though contractions are common in everyday speech and in written dialogue, it is usually best to avoid them in formal writing.TI
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462 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
But often the quickest and easiest way to show possession is to use an apostrophe
plus s (if the word is not a plural ending in -s). Thus we can say
Tony’s jacket
James’s grades
our cousin’s gas station
the animal’s footprints
Points to Remember 1. The ’s goes with the owner or possessor (in the examples given, Tony,
James, cousin, the animal). What follows is the person or thing possessed (in the examples given, jacket, grades, gas station, footprints).
2. When ’s is handwritten in cursive script, there should always be a break between the word and the ’s.
not
Yes No
Tony’s Tony’s
3. A singular word ending in -s (such as James in the earlier example) also shows possession by adding an apostrophe plus s (James’s).
Rewrite the italicized part of each of the sentences below, using ’s to show possession. Remember that the ’s goes with the owner or possessor.
example
The toys belonging to the children fi lled an entire room.
1. The old car owned by Fred is a classic.
2. The concentration of my grandfather has improved because of the new medication.
3. The owner of the pit bull was arrested after the dog attacked a child.
4. The drill of the dentist did not hurt because he had injected my gums with Novocaine.
5. The van owned by Dennis was recalled because of an engine defect.
Th e children’s toy s
ACTIVITY 3
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6. Is this the hat of somebody?
7. She will probably hate the surprise ending of the movie.
8. The cords coming from the computer were so tangled they looked like spaghetti.
9. The energy level possessed by the little boy is much higher than hers.
10. The leaves of the maple tree were turning a deep red.
Add ’s to each of the following words to make them the possessors or owners of something. Then write sentences using the words. Your sentences can be serious or
playful. One is done for you.
1. Van Gogh
2. llama
3. zombie
4. Monopoly
5. thief
Van Gogh’s Van Gogh’s left ear was severed fr om his head.
ACTIVITY 4
Apostrophe versus Possessive Pronouns Do not use an apostrophe with possessive pronouns. They already show ownership.
Possessive pronouns include his, hers, its, yours, ours, and theirs.
Incorrect Correct The bookstore lost its’ lease. The bookstore lost its lease.
The racing bikes were theirs’. The racing bikes were theirs.
The change is your’s. The change is yours.
His’ problems are ours’, too. His problems are ours, too.
His’ skin is more sunburned than her’s. His skin is more sunburned than hers.
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464 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Apostrophe versus Simple Plurals When you want to make a word plural, just add -s at the end of the word. Do not add an apostrophe. For example, the plural of the word movie is movies, not movie’s or movies’. Look at this sentence:
Lola adores Tony’s broad shoulders, rippling muscles, and warm eyes.
The words shoulders, muscles, and eyes are simple plurals, meaning more than one shoulder, more than one muscle, more than one eye. The plural is shown by adding only -s. On the other hand, the ’s after Tony shows possession—that the shoulders, muscles, and eyes belong to Tony.
In the space provided under each sentence, add the one apostrophe needed and
explain why the other word or words ending in -s are simple plurals.
example Karens tomato plants are almost six feet tall.
Karens:
plants:
1. The restaurants reputation brought hungry diners from miles around.
restaurants:
diners:
miles:
2. Marios sweater was made in Ireland by monks.
Marios:
monks:
3. As Tinas skill at studying increased, her grades improved.
Tinas:
grades:
4. After I had visited the deans offi ce, I decided to spend more time with my
books.
deans:
books:
5. I bought two magazines and a copy of Stephen Kings latest novel at the
bookstore.
magazines:
Kings:
Karen’s, meaning “belonging to Karen”
plural meaning “more than one plant”
ACTIVITY 5
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6. After six weeks without rain, the nearby streams started drying up, and the
lakes water level fell sharply.
weeks:
streams:
lakes:
7. Rebeccas hooded red cloak makes her look like a fairy-tale character, but her
heavy black boots spoil the effect.
Rebeccas:
boots:
8. When the brakes failed on Eriks truck, he narrowly avoided hitting several
parked cars and two trees.
brakes:
Eriks:
cars:
trees:
9. Suddenly, the clouds opened and the skys bounty drenched the dry fi elds.
clouds:
skys:
fi elds:
10. My parents like Floridas winters, but they prefer to spend their summers
back home in Maine.
parents:
Floridas:
winters:
summers:
Apostrophe with Plural Words Ending in -s Plurals that end in -s show possession simply by adding the apostrophe (rather than an apostrophe plus s):
My parents’ station wagon is ten years old.
The students’ many complaints were ignored by the high school principal.
All the Boy Scouts’ tents were damaged by the hailstorm.
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466 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
In each sentence, cross out the one plural word that needs an apostrophe. Then
write the word correctly, with the apostrophe, in the space provided. An example
has been provided.
example
The surgeons break room was one of the nicest rooms in the hospital.
1. My two kittens toys were scattered all over the downstairs rooms.
2. The snakes atrium was large enough for three of the creatures to live comfortably.
3. The attorneys assistants planned the holiday party.
4. My sons tree house, which they built themselves, holds eight people.
5. Three of the teachers classrooms had no air conditioning.
surgeons’
ACTIVITY 6
REVIEW TEST 1
In the paragraph below, underline the words that either need apostrophes or have
misused apostrophes. Then, in the spaces between the lines, correct the mistakes.
You should make eleven corrections in all.
Spiders silk is an amazing substance! Paul Hillyard says in The Book
of the Spider (1994), “For an equal [diameter], spider silk is stronger than
steel and about as strong as nylon. It is, however, much more resilient
and can stretch several time’s before breaking—it is twice as elastic as
nylon and more diffi cult to break than rubber.” Because of it’s strength
and durability, many scientists are studying spider’s dragline silk, a silk
that can be extended 30 to 50 percent of it’s length before it breaks. The
U.S. Army is interested in spider silk to use in product’s like bulletproof
vests, and medical scientists are interested in creating artifi cial ligaments
continued
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REVIEW TEST 2
Make the following words possessive and then use at least fi ve of them in a not-
so-serious paragraph that tells a story. In addition, use at least three contractions
in the paragraph.
detective restaurant Angelo student
Phoenix sister children oak tree
skunk Jimmy Fallon boss Lady Gaga
customer dentist police car yesterday
instructor everyone mob Chicago
and tendons from spider silk. All these study’s show that spider silk has
the qualities’ to be useful, but creating enough has proven diffi cult. One
researcher, however, has been genetically modifying goats to produce the
spider silk protein in the goats milk. Once the milk is specially processed,
threads of spider silk are created. Researchers’ are also studying alfalfa
plants ability to produce the silk protein. One day in the near future,
spider silk may be mass produced by non-spider methods.
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Quotation Marks C H A P T E R
Quotation Marks to Set Off Exact Words of a Speaker or Writer Use quotation marks when you want to show the exact words of a speaker or a
writer.
• “Say something tender to me,” whispered Lola to Tony.
(Quotation marks set off the exact words that Lola spoke to Tony.)
• Mark Twain once wrote, “The more I know about human beings, the more
I like my dog.”
(Quotation marks set off the exact words that Mark Twain wrote.)
• “The only dumb question,” the instructor said, “is the one you don’t ask.”
(Two pairs of quotation marks are used to enclose the instructor’s exact
words.)
• Sharon complained, “I worked so hard on this paper. I spent two days
getting information in the library and online and two days writing it. Guess
what grade I got on it?”
(Note that the end quotation marks do not come until the end of Sharon’s
speech. Place quotation marks before the fi rst quoted word of a speech and
after the last quoted word. As long as no interruption occurs in the speech,
do not use quotation marks for each new sentence.)
Complete the following statements explaining how capital letters, commas,
and periods are used in quotations. Refer to the four examples as guides.
The two main uses of quotation marks are
1. To set off the exact words of a speaker or a writer 2. To set off the titles of short works such as newspaper and magazine
articles
Each use is explained on the pages that follow.
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1. Every quotation begins with a letter.
2. When a quotation is split (as in the sentence above about dumb
questions), the second part does not begin with a capital letter unless it is
a sentence.
3. are used to separate the quoted part of a sentence from the
rest of the sentence.
4. Commas and periods that come at the end of a quotation should go
the quotation marks.
The answers are capital, new, Commas, and inside.
In the four preceding examples, notice that a comma sets off the quoted part from the rest of the sentence. Also observe that commas and periods at the end of a quotation always go inside quotation marks.HI
NT
ACTIVITY 1Place quotation marks around the exact words of a speaker or writer in the sen- tences that follow.
1. Joylynn entered the Offi ce of the Registrar and asked, Is this where I speak
to someone about my degree program?
2. The clerk responded, No. You need to go down the hall to the Advising
Offi ce, and someone will help you there.
3. Thank you, replied Joylynn. I appreciate your help.
4. When she entered the Advising Offi ce, Joylynn said, Good morning. I was
told this is where I can speak with someone about my degree program.
5. Yes, replied the administrative assistant. I will need to get some information
from you fi rst. Please fi ll out the highlighted portions of this form, and I will
let an advisor know you are here.
6. Joylynn, Mr. Saunders will see you now, announced the assistant as she
directed Joylynn to an offi ce.
7. Good morning, Joylynn. Please have a seat, stated Mr. Saunders as she
entered his offi ce.
8. Mr. Saunders, I know I am only a freshman, but I would really like to discuss
my degree plan, so I can make sure I am taking the proper classes, Joylynn
spoke directly to the advisor after she had sat down.
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470 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
9. Mr. Saunders smiled at Joylynn and replied, I am impressed that you are
planning and organizing so early.
10. After speaking with Mr. Saunders for an hour, Joylynn politely said, Thank
you so much for your help.
After you complete each part of this activity, go over your responses with a partner.
An example is provided for each part.
1. Write a sentence in which you quote a favorite expression of someone you
know. Identify the relationship of the person to you.
example
2. Write a quotation that contains the words Tony asked Lola. Write a second quotation that includes the words Lola replied.
example
3. Copy a sentence or two that interest you from a book or magazine. Identify
the title and author of the work.
example
My father oft en said, “When one door closes , anot her opens.”
“I think I’ve lost my sunglass es . Have you seen them?” Tony asked Lola. “Try chec king on
top of your head,” Lola replied.
In Night Shift , Stephen King writes , “I don’t like to sleep with one leg sticking out. Bec ause
if a cool hand ever reached out fr om under the bed and grasped my ankle, I might scream.”
ACTIVITY 2
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Indirect Quotations An indirect quotation is a rewording of someone else’s comments, rather than a word-for-word direct quotation. The word that often signals an indirect quotation. Quotation marks are not used with indirect quotations.
Direct Quotation Indirect Quotation Fred said, “The distributor cap on Fred said that the distributor cap on
my car is cracked.” his car was cracked.
(Fred’s exact spoken words are (We learn Fred’s words indirectly,
given, so quotation marks are used.) so no quotation marks are used.)
Sally’s note to Jay read, “I’ll be Sally left a note for Jay saying
working late. Don’t wait up for me.” she would be working late and he
(The exact words that Sally wrote should not wait up for her.
in the note are given, so quotation (We learn Sally’s words indirectly,
marks are used.) so no quotation marks are used.)
ACTIVITY 3Rewrite the following sentences, changing words as necessary to convert the sen- tences into direct quotations. The fi rst one is done for you as an example.
1. The instructor told everyone to take out a pen and sheet of paper.
2. A student in the front row asked if this was a test.
3. The instructor replied that it was more of a pop quiz.
4. She claimed that anyone who had completed last night’s homework would do
well.
5. Another student responded that this would be easy for him.
Th e instructor said, “Take out a pen and sheet of paper.”
Quotation Marks to Set Off Titles of Short Works Titles of short works are usually set off by quotation marks, while titles of long
works are italicized. Use quotation marks around titles of short works, such as
articles that appear in books, newspapers, journals, or magazines; chapters in a
book; short stories; short poems; and songs. On the other hand, italicize the titles of
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472 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
books, magazines, newspapers, journals, plays, movies, record albums, and televi-
sion shows.
Quotation Marks Italics (or Underlining) the chapter “So You Want War” in the book American Lion
the article “Getting a Fix on in the newspaper the New York Repairs” Times
the article “The Myelin Brake” in the magazine Science
the essay “Lifting the Veil” in the book Inventing the Truth
the story “The Night the Bed Fell” in the book A Thurber Carnival
the poem “Easter, 1916” in the book The Yeats Reader
the song “Bold as Love” in the album Continuum
the television show The Daily Show
the movie Gone with the Wind
When you are typing a paper, you should always italicize longer works; however, if you are turning in handwritten work, longer works should be underlined. For example, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins would be handwritten The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.
TI P
ACTIVITY 4 Use quotation marks or underline (or italicize) as needed.
1. Whenever Gina sees the movie The Sound of Music, the song near the end,
Climb Every Mountain, makes her cry.
2. Discover magazine contains an article entitled Lost Cities of the Amazon.
3. I printed out an article titled Too Much Homework? from the online version
of Time to use in my sociology report.
4. Tiffany’s favorite movie is Raiders of the Lost Ark, and her favorite television
show is CSI: Miami.
5. Our instructor gave us a week to buy the textbook titled Personal Finance and
to read the fi rst chapter, Work and Income.
6. Every holiday season, our family watches the movie A Christmas Carol on
television.
7. Looking around to make sure no one he knew saw him, Bob bought the
newest National Enquirer in order to read the story called Man Explodes
on Operating Table.
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8. Edgar Allan Poe’s short story The Murders in the Rue Morgue and his
poem The Raven are in a paperback titled Great Tales and Poems of Edgar
Allan Poe.
9. After Pablo bought a copy of Time magazine, he read a story entitled
Stem Cell Progress and then looked for a review of the movie Avatar.
10. The night before his exam, he discovered with horror that the chapter
Becoming Mature was missing from Childhood and Adolescence, the
psychology text that he had bought secondhand.
Other Uses of Quotation Marks 1. Quotation marks are used to set off special words or phrases from the rest of
a sentence:
Many people spell the words “a lot” as one word, “alot,” instead of correctly spelling them as two words.
I have trouble telling the difference between “their” and “there.”
2. Single quotation marks are used to mark off a quotation within a quotation.
The instructor said, “Know the chapter titled ‘Status Symbols’ in Adolescent Development if you expect to pass the test.”
Susan said, “One of my favorite Mae West lines is ‘I used to be Snow White,
but I drifted’.”
Insert quotations marks as needed and underline titles that should be italicized in
the sentences that follow.
1. Cool Hand Luke was released in 1967, and since then the Captain’s words
have become infamous. The Captain said, What we’ve got here . . . is a fail-
ure to communicate.
2. In the movie, A League of Their Own, the character played by Tom Hanks
demonstrates his frustration at having to manage an All-American Girls Pro-
fessional Baseball League team when he yells, There’s no crying in baseball!
3. The movie Smoke Signals is based on the story, This Is What It Means to
Say Phoenix, Arizona, which is the fi fth in a series of stories in the book,
The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfi ght in Heaven, by Sherman Alexie.
4. Near the end of the 1987 fi lm, Dirty Dancing, Johnny Castle says, Nobody
puts Baby in a corner.
REVIEW TEST 1
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474 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
5. According to Odeon Cinemas in London, The Terminator contains the most
memorable line of any movie. In the fi lm, Arnold Schwarzenegger says, I’ll
be back.
6. Ian Fleming’s book, For Your Eyes Only, contains fi ve short stories: From
a View to a Kill, For Your Eyes Only, Quantum of Solace, Risico, and The
Hildebrand Rarity.
7. After being a YouTube and Facebook sensation, Walk off the Earth released
its debut album, R.E.V.O., in 2013; it included the powerful song, Red
Hands, but didn’t include the fun parody of Madonna’s Material Girl.
8. Every time we leave Kansas on our drives to Colorado, my husband says,
Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore. He tries to sound like
Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, but he never succeeds.
9. Harrison Ford’s characters have produced many memorable quotes. In Raiders
of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones says, It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage. In
Star Wars, Hans Solo says, Look, I ain’t in this for your revolution, and I’m not
in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money.
10. The Complete Collected Poems of Maya Angelou includes the
poem, Phenomenal Woman, which celebrates being a woman, and the poem,
Still I Rise, which asks the question, Does my sassiness upset you?
11. Two of the bestselling albums in 2013 were Justin Timberlake’s The 20/20
Experience, and Bruno Mars’s Unorthodox Jukebox, while in that same year
Draft Punk’s song, Get Lucky, was one of the bestselling singles.
12. My friend Taryn’s favorite movie is The Princess Bride. Hello. My name is
Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die, she says over and over
every time she watches the fi lm.
13. Jack Dawson yells, I’m the king of the world! in the movie, Titanic; this
made my nine-year-old son laugh so hysterically that we were kicked out of
the theater.
14. Master Yoda says, Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger
leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you. Despite this
warning to Anakin in Star Wars: Episode 1—The Phantom Menace, Anakin
still turns to the dark side and ultimately becomes Darth Vader.
15. In The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Gandalf says, I’m looking for
someone to share in an adventure ; Bilbo Baggins initially declines the offer,
but his curiosity prevails and he leaves the Shire.
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REVIEW TEST 2
Look at the comic strip below and write a full description that will enable people
who have not read the comic strip to visualize it clearly and appreciate its humor.
Describe the setting and action in each panel, and enclose the words of the speak-
ers in quotation marks.
BABY BLUES © 2007 Baby Blues Partnership. Dist. by King Features Syndicate
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Commas C H A P T E R
Six Main Uses of the Comma Commas are used mainly as follows:
1. To separate items in a series
2. To set off introductory material
3. Before and after words that interrupt the fl ow of thought in a sentence
4. Before two complete thoughts connected by and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet
5. To set off a direct quotation from the rest of a sentence
6. For certain everyday material
You may fi nd it helpful to remember that the comma often marks a slight
pause, or break, in a sentence. Read aloud the sentence examples given for each
use, and listen for the minor pauses, or breaks, that are signaled by commas.
Comma between Items in a Series Use commas to separate items in a series.
Do you drink tea with milk, lemon, or honey?
Today the dishwasher stopped working, the garbage bag split, and the refrig-
erator turned into a freezer.
The talk shows enraged him so much he did not know whether to laugh, cry,
or throw up.
Reiko awoke from a restless, nightmare-fi lled sleep.
a. The fi nal comma in a series is optional, but it is often used.
Commas often (though not always) signal a minor break or pause in a sentence. There are six main uses of the comma. This chapter will describe each.
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b. A comma is used between two descriptive words in a series only if and inserted between the words sounds natural. You could say:
Reiko awoke from a restless and nightmare-fi lled sleep.
But notice in the following sentence that the descriptive words do not sound
natural when and is inserted between them. In such cases, no comma is used.
Wanda drove a shiny blue Corvette. (A shiny and blue Corvette doesn’t sound right, so no comma is used.)
ACTIVITY 1Place commas between items in a series. 1. Caleb packed his golf clubs tees shoes and water bottle in his golf bag.
2. My favorite outfi t to wear around the house is baggy sweats a cotton T-shirt
and fl ip-fl ops.
3. Professor Jones lectured about global warming at the University of
Washington the University of Oregon and the University of Montana.
4. Michelle loved her torn worn gardening pants.
5. Thomas swam one mile ran four miles and biked sixteen miles before
6:00 a.m.
Comma after Introductory Material Use a comma to set off introductory material.
After punching the alarm clock with his fi st, Bill turned over and went back
to sleep.
Looking up at the sky, I saw a man who was fl ying faster than a speeding bullet.
Holding a baited trap, Clyde cautiously approached the gigantic mousehole.
In addition, he held a broom in his hand.
Also, he wore a football helmet in case a creature should leap out at his head.
a. If the introductory material is brief, the comma is sometimes omitted. In the
activities here, you should use the comma.
b. A comma is also used to set off extra material at the end of a sentence. Here
are two sentences where this comma rule applies:
A sudden breeze shot through the windows, driving the stuffi ness out of
the room.
I love to cook and eat Italian food, especially eggplant rollatini and
lasagna.
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478 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Working with a partner, place commas after introductory material.
1. After the Civil War my ancestor opened a grocery store in Indianapolis.
2. Feeling brave and silly at the same time Tony volunteered to go onstage and
help the magician.
3. While I was eating my tuna sandwich the cats circled my chair like hungry
sharks.
4. Because the Antonelli children grew up near the sea they learned to swim
when they were young. Even though the water is still very cold in early
March the family celebrates the fi rst day of spring with a quick dip!
5. At fi rst putting extra hot pepper fl akes on the pizza seemed like a good idea.
However I felt otherwise when fl ames seemed about to shoot out of my mouth.
ACTIVITY 2
Comma around Words Interrupting the Flow of Th ought Use commas before and after words or phrases that interrupt the fl ow of thought
in a sentence.
My brother, a sports nut, owns over fi ve thousand baseball cards.
That reality show, at long last, has been canceled.
The children used the old Buick, rusted from disuse, as a backyard
clubhouse.
Usually you can “hear” words that interrupt the fl ow of thought in a sentence.
However, if you are not sure that certain words are interrupters, remove them from
the sentence. If it still makes sense without the words, you know that the words
are interrupters and the information they give is nonessential. Such nonessential
information is set off with commas. In the sentence
Dody Thompson, who lives next door, won the javelin-throwing competition.
the words who lives next door are extra information, not needed to identify the subject of the sentence, Dody Thompson. Put commas around such nonessential information. On the other hand, in the sentence
The woman who lives next door won the javelin-throwing competition.
the words who lives next door supply essential information—information needed for us to identify the woman being spoken of. If the words were removed from the
sentence, we would no longer know who won the competition. Commas are not used around such essential information.
Here is another example:
Wilson Hall, which the tornado destroyed, was ninety years old.
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Here the words which the tornado destroyed are extra information, not needed to identify the subject of the sentence, Wilson Hall. Commas go around such nones- sential information. On the other hand, in the sentence
The building that the tornado destroyed was ninety years old.
the words that the tornado destroyed are needed to identify the building. Commas are not used around such essential information.
As noted above, however, most of the time you will be able to “hear” words
that interrupt the fl ow of thought in a sentence, and you will not have to think about
whether the words are essential or nonessential.
Use commas to set off interrupting words.
1. During Dan’s teenage years when he lived on Long Island Dan often went
crabbing in the Great South Bay.
2. Dracula who had a way with women is Tony’s favorite movie hero. He feels
that the Wolfman on the other hand showed no class in wooing women.
3. Driving from Minneapolis to Chicago especially during a heavy snowstorm
can be unnerving.
4. Mowing the grass especially when it is six inches high is my least
favorite job.
5. My cousin Lucille who is wearing the black dress with the white pearls
looks very stylish this evening.
ACTIVITY 3
Comma between Complete Th oughts Use a comma between two complete thoughts connected by and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet.
The wedding was scheduled for four o’clock, but the bride changed her mind
at two.
We could always tell when our instructor felt disorganized, for his shirt would
not be tucked in.
Rich has to work on Monday nights, so he always remembers to record the TV
football game.
a. The comma is optional when the complete thoughts are short.
Grace has a headache and Mark has a fever.
Her soda was watery but she drank it anyway.
The day was overcast so they didn’t go swimming.
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480 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
b. Be careful not to use a comma in sentences having one subject and a double verb. The comma is used only in sentences made up of two complete
thoughts (two subjects and two verbs). In the following sentence, there is
only one subject (Kevin) with a double verb (will go and forget). Therefore, no comma is needed:
Kevin will go to a party tonight and forget all about tomorrow’s exam.
Likewise, the following sentence has only one subject (Rita) and a double verb (was and will work); therefore, no comma is needed:
Rita was a waitress at the Red Lobster last summer and probably will work
there this summer.
In the following sentences, place a comma before each joining word that connects
two complete thoughts (two subject-verb combinations). Do not place a comma within the sentences that have only one subject and a double verb; label these as
“correct.”
1. The oranges in the refrigerator were covered with blue mold and the potatoes
in the cupboard felt like sponges.
2. All the pants in the shop were on sale but not a single pair was my size.
3. Martha often window-shops in the malls for hours and comes home without
buying anything.
4. Martin Fizz never brought much money to restaurants and quite often he re-
lied on friends to pick up his tab.
5. The whole family searched the yard inch by inch but never found Mom’s
missing wedding ring.
6. The mayor walked up to the podium and she delivered the most inspiring
speech of her career.
7. No one volunteered to read his or her paper out loud so the instructor called
on Amber.
8. The aliens in the science fi ction fi lm visited our planet in peace but we
greeted them with violence.
9. I felt like shouting at the gang of boys but didn’t dare open my mouth.
10. Lenny will not succeed in college or he will decide to start attending classes
this semester.
ACTIVITY 4
Comma with Direct Quotations Use a comma to set off a direct quotation from the rest of a sentence.
His father shouted, “Why don’t you go out and get a job?”
“Our modern world has lost a sense of the sacredness of life,” the speaker said.
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“No,” said Celia to Jerry. “I won’t write your paper for you.”
“Can anyone remember,” wrote Emerson, “when the times were not hard and
money not scarce?”
Commas and periods at the end of a quotation go inside quotation marks. See also page 469.TI
P
No comma is used to mark off the zip code.TI P
Use commas to set off quotations from the rest of the sentence.
1. Su Lin turned to her husband and said “The man may be the head of the
family, but the woman is the neck that turns the head.”
2. My partner on the dance fl oor said “Don’t be so stiff. You look as if you
swallowed an umbrella.”
3. The question on the anatomy test read “What human organ grows faster than
any other, never stops growing, and always remains the same size?”
4. The student behind me whispered “The skin.”
5. “Everyone is wise ” says my eighty-year-old grandmother “until he speaks.”
ACTIVITY 5
Comma with Everyday Material Use a comma with certain everyday material.
Persons Spoken To Tina, go to bed if you’re not feeling well.
Sara, where did you put my shoes?
Are you coming with us, Owen?
Dates March 4, 2007, is the day Martha buried her third husband.
Addresses Tony’s grandparents live at 183 Roxborough Avenue, Cleveland, Ohio 44112.
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482 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Openings and Closings of Letters Dear Santa,
Dear Ben,
Sincerely yours,
Truly yours,
In formal letters, a colon is used after the opening: Dear Sir: or Dear Madam: or Dear Dr. Nathan: or Dear Ms. Merletto:TI
P
Numbers The dishonest dealer turned the used car’s odometer from 98,170 miles to
39,170 miles.
Place commas where needed. Compare your answers with a partner’s.
1. I expected you to set a better example for the others Mike.
2. Liz with your help I passed the test.
3. The movie stars Kitty Litter and Dredge Rivers were married on
September 12 2006 and lived at 3865 Sunset Boulevard Los Angeles
California for one month.
4. They received 75000 congratulatory fan letters and were given movie
contracts worth $3000000 in the fi rst week of their marriage.
5. Kitty left Dredge on October 12 2006 and ran off with their marriage
counselor.
ACTIVITY 6
REVIEW TEST 1
Insert commas where needed. In the space provided below each sentence, summa-
rize briefl y the rule or rules that explain the use of the comma or commas.
1. “Although men have more upper-body strength” said the lecturer “women
are more resistant to fatigue.”
2. George and Ida sat down to watch the football game with chips salsa
pretzels cheese and two frosty bottles of beer.
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3. Tax forms though shortened and revised every year never seem to get any
simpler.
4. I think Roger that you had better ask someone else for your $2500 loan.
5. Sandra may decide to go to college full-time or she may start by enrolling in
a couple of evening courses.
6. My mother who makes the best lasagna in the world was born in Naples.
7. Although I knew exactly what was happening the solar eclipse caused me to
feel some anxiety.
8. “Don’t bend over to pet the dog” I warned “or he’ll bite you.”
9. Upon the death of Queen Elizabeth I of England in 1603 James VI of
Scotland became James I of England.
10. The company agreed to raise a senior bus driver’s salary to $42000 by
January 1 2015.
11. The bookstore specializes in science fi ction biography and mysteries.
12. Many people who had kidney transplants years ago needed to take immune-
suppressing drugs but that has become less common because of new medical
technology.
REVIEW TEST 2
Insert commas where needed in the business letter on the next page. You should use
a total of twelve commas.
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484 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
May 15 2015
The Jumping Bean
230 North Columbus Street
Lancaster Ohio 43130
Mr. Larry Smithe
420 West Hubert Avenue
Lancaster Ohio 43130
Dear Mr. Smithe:
We would like to express our gratitude for your kind and generous
donation to the City Neighborhood Improvement Fund. When your check
for $1200 was received our employees were overcome with emotion.
Your gift helped us reach our donation goal of $10000.
As you know the money raised will be used to improve several of our
more blighted neighborhoods. Some of the projects the fund will cover
are simple enhancements like painting and yard work but the balance
of the funds will be used for larger projects like fi xing roofs porches and
sidewalks.
Our employees are looking forward to participating in this citywide
project and your donation has demonstrated what a generous community
we live in.
We would again like to express our gratitude.
Sincerely
Jameson Roaster
Jameson Roaster, CEO
The Jumping Bean
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Other Punctuation Marks
C H A P T E R
This chapter will describe other punctuation marks including the colon, the dash, the hyphen, parentheses, and the semicolon.
Colon (:) Use the colon at the end of a complete statement to introduce a list, a long quota-
tion, or an explanation.
List The following were my worst jobs: truck loader in an apple plant, assembler in a
battery factory, and attendant in a state mental hospital.
Long Quotation Thoreau explains in Walden: “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliber- ately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had
to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
Explanation There are two softball leagues in our town: the fast-pitch league and the lob-pitch
league.
Place colons where needed.
1. In his book, Illiterate America, Jonathan Kozol gives startling information “Twenty-fi ve million American adults cannot read the poison warnings on a
can of pesticide, a letter from their child’s teacher, or the front page of a daily
paper. An additional thirty-fi ve million read only at a level which is less than
equal to the full survival needs of our society. Together, these sixty million
people represent more than one-third of the entire adult population.”
2. The Girl Scout troop had a profi table cookie sale 400 boxes of Thin Mints,
350 boxes of Lemonades, and 200 boxes of Shout Outs! were sold.
3. I like to exercise, but there are three things I refuse to do run long distances,
swim in a lake or ocean, or participate in a group exercise class.
ACTIVITY 1
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486 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Semicolon (;) The main use of the semicolon is to mark a break between two complete thoughts,
as explained on page 386. Another use of the semicolon is to mark off items in a
series when the items themselves contain commas. Here are some examples:
Winning prizes at the national fl ower show were Roberta Collins, Alabama,
azaleas; Sally Hunt, Kentucky, roses; and James Weber, California, Shasta
daisies.
The following books must be read for the course: The Color Purple, by Alice Walker; In Our Time, by Ernest Hemingway; and Man’s Search for Meaning, by Victor Frankl.
Place dashes where needed.
1. The neighbors threw loud parties that lasted long into the night often, in fact,
until 2:00 or 3:00 A.M.
2. Three makes of luxury cars a Lexus, a Cadillac, and a Lincoln were the prizes in the church raffl e.
3. The package fi nally arrived badly damaged.
ACTIVITY 3
Working with a partner, place semicolons where needed.
1. The specials at the restaurant today are eggplant Parmesan, for $16.95 black
beans and rice, for $9.95 and chicken potpie, for $11.95.
2. The view of Washington’s Mount Rainier was spectacular the peak was
snow covered, but the lower half was covered with green forests.
3. Lola’s favorite old movies are To Catch a Thief, starring Cary Grant and Grace Kelly Animal Crackers, a Marx Brothers comedy and The Wizard of Oz, with Judy Garland.
ACTIVITY 2
Dash (—) A dash signals a pause longer than a comma but not as complete as a period. Use
a dash to set off words for dramatic effect.
I didn’t go out with him a second time—once was more than enough.
Some of you—I won’t mention you by name—cheated on the test.
It was so windy that the VW passed him on the highway—overhead.
a. The dash can be formed on a keyboard by striking the hyphen twice (- -). Keyboard shortcuts for both Mac and PC users can also be used to form dashes. In handwriting, the dash is as long as two letters would be.
b. Be careful not to overuse dashes.
TI P
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Place hyphens where needed.
1. A lily covered pond and a jasmine scented garden greeted us as we walked
into the museum’s atrium.
2. When Gwen turned on the porch light, ten legged creatures scurried every
where over the crumb fi lled fl oor.
3. Will had ninety two dollars in his pocket when he left for the supermarket,
and he had twenty two dollars when he got back.
Parentheses ( ) Parentheses are used to set off extra or incidental information from the rest of a
sentence.
The section of that book on the medical dangers of abortion (pages 125 to
140) is outdated.
Yesterday at Hamburger House (my favorite place to eat), the french-fry cook
asked me to go out with him.
Hyphen (-) 1. Use a hyphen with two or more words that act as a single unit describing a
noun.
When Jeff removed his mud-covered boots, he discovered a thumb-size
hole in his sock.
I both admire and envy her well-rounded personality.
When the man removed his blue-tinted shades, Lonnell saw the spaced-out
look in his eyes.
2. Use a hyphen to divide a word at the end of a line of writing. When you need
to divide a word at the end of a line, divide it between syllables. Use your
dictionary to be sure of correct syllable divisions (see also page 493).
When Josh lifted the hood of his car, he realized one of the radiator hoses
had broken.
ACTIVITY 4
a. Do not divide words of one syllable. b. Do not divide a word if you can avoid doing so.TI
P
Do not use parentheses too often in your writing.TI P
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488 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Add parentheses where needed.
1. Before Theodore Roosevelt offi cially named the White House in 1901,
the building was known by several different names the President’s Palace,
President’s House, the Executive Mansion.
2. President Taft 1909–1913 established many things during his term in offi ce,
including a postal savings system.
3. Franklin D. Roosevelt FDR and John F. Kennedy JFK are often referred to by
their initials.
ACTIVITY 5
REVIEW TEST
At the appropriate spot, place the punctuation mark shown in the margin.
; 1. Gdansk is a major Polish port it is located on a branch of the Vistula River.
— 2. The Vistula River with a length of 651 miles is the largest river in Poland.
3. Gdansk is part of a three city urban area with a population of over
450,000.
( ) 4. The city has two ports, Nowy Port “New Port” and Port Pólnocny “North Port”.
: 5. Arthur Schopenhauer, a Gdansk native and famous philosopher, wrote in Wisdom of Life and Counsels and Maxims “It is a wise thing to be polite; consequently, it is a stupid thing to be rude. To make enemies
by unnecessary and willful incivility is just as insane a proceeding as
to set your house on fi re. For politeness is like a counter—an avowedly
false coin, with which it is foolish to be stingy.”
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Word Use S E C T I O N
SECTION PREVIEW Chapter 36 Using the Dictionary
Chapter 37 Improving Spelling
Chapter 38 Vocabulary Development
Chapter 39 Commonly Confused Words
Chapter 40 Effective Word Choice
CAN YOU FIND THE ERROR ON THIS CANDY HEART? Which chapter in this section do you think might cover such an error? In a sentence or two, explain how and why this error affects the meaning of this message.
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Owning Your Own Dictionaries You can benefi t greatly by owning two dictionaries. First, you should own a paper-
back dictionary that you can carry with you. Second, you should own a desk-size,
hardcover dictionary that you keep in the room where you study. Either dictionary
pictured below, as well as The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, would be an excellent
choice. They are all available in both hardcover and paperfack format.
Using the Dictionary C H A P T E R
The dictionary is a valuable tool. To help you use it, this chapter explains essential information about dictionaries and the information they provide.
MOST MAJOR DICTIONARIES ARE AVAILABLE IN BOTH PAPERBACK and hardcover versions. Pictured on the left is a paperback edition, which is easy to carry with you. Pictured on the right is a hardcover, which is helpful to keep at your place of study.
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Hardbound dictionaries contain a good deal more information than the paperback
editions. For instance, a desk-size dictionary defi nes far more words than a paperback
dictionary. And there are more defi nitions per word, as well. Although desk-size dic-
tionaries cost more, they are worth the investment, because they are valuable study aids.
Dictionaries are often updated to refl ect changes that occur in the language. New
words come into use, and old words take on new meanings. So you should not use a
dictionary that has been lying around the house for a number of years. Instead, buy
yourself a new dictionary. It is easily among the best investments you will ever make.
Dictionaries on Your Computer If you use a computer, you will likely have two additional ways to look up a word:
online dictionaries and a dictionary that may come with your computer software.
Online Dictionaries When a computer is connected to the Internet, it is easy to check words online.
Here are three sites with online dictionaries:
www.merriam-webster.com
www.dictionary.com
www.oxforddictionaries.com/us
For example, if you go online to www.merriam-webster.com and type in
“benefi t,” you may see the page shown below.
COMPARE THIS ENTRY FROM AN ONLINE DICTIONARY TO the entry for the same word as it appears in a print dictionary (next page). What differences do you notice?
B y p
e rm
is si
o n f
ro m
M e rr
ia m
-W e b st
e r’
s C
o ll
e g ia
te ® D
ic ti
o n a ry
, 1 1 th
e d i-
ti o n ,©
2 0 1 3 b
y M
e rr
ia m
-W e b st
e r,
I n c . (w
w w
.M e rr
ia m
-W e b st
e r.
c o m
)
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492 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Notice the speaker icon next to the word benefi t. If you click on this icon, the word will be pronounced for you.
Often, you will also get information on synonyms (words with meanings simi- lar to those of the word you have looked up) and antonyms (words with meanings opposite to those of the word you have looked up).
Software Dictionaries Many word-processing programs come with a built-in dictionary. For example, if
you use Microsoft Word on a Macintosh, click “Tools” and then choose “Dictionary.”
Understanding a Dictionary Entry Look at the information provided for the word benefi t in the following entry from Random House Webster’s College Dictionary:
Spelling and syllabication Pronunciation Parts of speech
ben•e•fi t (ben9ə fi t), n. 1. something that is advantageous or good. 2. a pay- ment made to help someone or given by a benefi t society, insurance
company, or public agency. 3. a social event or a performance for rais-
ing money for an organization, cause, or person. 4. Archaic. an act of kindness. —v t. 5. to do good to: be of service to: a health program to benefi t everyone. —v.i. 6. to derive benefi t; profi t: to benefi t from experi- ence. —idiom. 7. benefi t of the doubt, a favorable opinion or judgment adopted despite uncertainty. [1350–1400; late ME benefytt, ME b(i)enfet < AF benfet, MF bienfatt < L benefactum, orig. ptp. of benefacere; see benefaction] —Syn. See advantage
Random House Webster’s College Dictionary, 2005. Published by Random House Reference.
Spelling The fi rst bit of information, in the boldface (heavy-type) entry itself, is the spelling
of benefi t. You probably already know the spelling of benefi t, but if you didn’t, you could fi nd it by pronouncing the syllables in the word carefully and then looking
it up in the dictionary.
ACTIVITY 1 Use your dictionary to correct the spelling of the following words: compatable silable
althogh troble
highschool untill
Meanings
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embelish fancyer
systimatise prepostrous
alot comotion
attenshun Vasaline
wierd fatel
laffed busines
alright jenocide
fony poluted
kriterion attornies
hetirosexual chalange
Syllabication The second bit of information that the dictionary gives, also in the boldface entry,
is the syllabication of benefi t. Note that a dot separates each of the syllables. Use your dictionary to mark the syllable divisions in the following words. Also
indicate how many syllables are in each word.
j i t t e r ( syllables)
m o t i v a t e ( syllables)
o r a n g u t a n ( syllables)
i n c o n t r o v e r t i b l e ( syllables)
Noting syllable divisions will enable you to hyphenate a word: divide it at the end of one line of writing and complete it at the beginning of the next line. You can
correctly hyphenate a word only at a syllable division, and you may have to check
your dictionary to make sure of the syllable divisions.
Pronunciation The third bit of information in the dictionary entry is the pronunciation of benefi t: (ben9ə fi t). You already know how to pronounce benefi t, but if you didn’t, the in- formation within the parentheses would serve as your guide. Use your dictionary
to complete the following exercises that relate to pronunciation.
Vowel Sounds
You will probably use the pronunciation key in your dictionary mainly as
a guide to pronouncing vowel sounds (vowels are the letters a, e, i, o, and u). Following is a part of the pronunciation key in the Random House Webster’s Col- lege Dictionary:
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a bat ā say e set ē bee i big The key tells you, for example, that the sound of the short a is like the a in bat, the sound of the long a is like the a in say, and the sound of the short e is like the e in set.
Now look at the pronunciation key in your own dictionary. The key is probably
located in the front of the dictionary or at the bottom of alternate pages. What com-
mon word in the key tells you how to pronounce each of the following sounds?
ɪ̄ ŭ ŏ o
‿ o
ō o—o (Note that a long vowel always has the sound of its own name.)
Th e Schwa (ə) The symbol ə looks like an upside-down e. It is called a schwa, and it stands for the unaccented sound in such words as ago, item, easily, gallop, and circus. More ap- proximately, it stands for the sound uh—like the uh that speakers sometimes make when they hesitate. Perhaps it would help to remember that uh, as well as ə, could be used to represent the schwa sound.
Here are some of the many words in which the schwa sound appears: imi- tation (im-uh-tā9shuhn or im- -tā9sh n); elevate (el9uh-vāt or el9 -vāt); horizon (huh-rı̄ 9zuhn or h -rı̄9z n). Open your dictionary to any page, and you will almost surely be able to fi nd three words that make use of the schwa in the pronunciation
in parentheses after the main entry.
In the spaces below, write three words that make use of the schwa, and their
pronunciations.
1. ( )
2. ( )
3. ( )
Accent Marks Some words contain both a primary accent, shown by a heavy stroke (9), and a sec- ondary accent, shown by a lighter stroke (9). For example, in the word controversy (kon9tr vûr9se), the stress, or accent, goes chiefl y on the fi rst syllable (kon9), and, to a lesser extent, on the third syllable (vûr9).
Use your dictionary to add stress marks to the following words:
preclude (pri klo—od )
atrophy (at rə f ē) inveigle (in vā gəl) ubiquitous (yo—o bik wi təs) prognosticate (prog nos ti kāt )
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Full Pronunciation Use your dictionary to write the full pronunciation (the information given in paren-
theses) for each of the following words.
1. migration 11. combustible
2. diatribe 12. antipathy
3. inheritance 13. capricious
4. panacea 14. schizophrenia
5. esophagus 15. seismological
6. independence 16. internecine
7. chronological 17. amalgamate
8. vicarious 18. quixotic
9. quiescent 19. laissez-faire
10. parsimony
20. antidisestablishmentarianism (This word is probably not in a paperback dic-
tionary, but if you can say establish and if you break the rest of the word into individual syllables, you should be able to pronounce it.)
ACTIVITY 2
Now practice pronouncing each word. Use the pronunciation key in your dic-
tionary as an aid to sounding out each syllable. Do not try to pronounce a word all at once; instead, work on mastering one syllable at a time. When you can pro- nounce each of the syllables in a word successfully, then say them in sequence, add
the accents, and pronounce the entire word.
Parts of Speech The next bit of information that the dictionary gives about benefi t is n. This abbre- viation means that the meanings of benefi t as a noun will follow.
Use your dictionary if necessary to fi ll in the meanings of the following
abbreviations:
v. = sing. =
adj. = pl. =
Principal Parts of Irregular Verbs Benefi t is a regular verb and forms its principal parts by adding -ed or -ing to the stem of the verb. When a verb is irregular, the dictionary lists its principal
parts. For example, with give the present tense comes fi rst (the entry itself, give).
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Next comes the past tense (gave), and then the past participle (given)—the form of the verb used with such helping words as have, had, and was. Then comes the present participle (giving)—the -ing form of the verb.
Look up the principal parts of the following irregular verbs and write them in
the spaces provided. The fi rst one has been done for you.
Present Past Past Participle Present Participle tear
go
know
steal
Plural Forms of Irregular Nouns The dictionary supplies the plural forms of all irregular nouns. (Regular nouns like
benefi t form the plural by adding -s or -es.) Give the plurals of the following nouns. If two forms are shown, write down both.
analysis
dictionary
criterion
activity
thesis
Meanings When a word has more than one meaning, the meanings are numbered in the dic-
tionary, as with the word benefi t. In many dictionaries, the most common mean- ings of a word are presented fi rst. The introductory pages of your dictionary will
explain the order in which meanings are presented.
tore torn tearing
ACTIVITY 3 Use the sentence context to try to explain the meaning of the underlined word in each of the following sentences. Write your defi nition in the space provided. Then
look up and record the dictionary meaning of the word. Be sure to select the mean-
ing that fi ts the word as it is used in the sentence.
1. In anthropology class, we studied the indigenous people of New Guinea.
Your defi nition:
Dictionary defi nition:
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2. On the test, we had to put several historical events into chronological order.
Your defi nition:
Dictionary defi nition:
3. The FBI squelched the terrorists’ plan to plant a bomb in the White House.
Your defi nition:
Dictionary defi nition:
4. One of the cardinal rules in our house was “Respect other people’s privacy.”
Your defi nition:
Dictionary defi nition:
5. A special governor prevents the school bus from traveling more than
fi fty-fi ve miles an hour.
Your defi nition:
Dictionary defi nition:
Usage Labels As a general rule, use only standard English words in your writing. If a word is not
standard English, your dictionary will probably give it a usage label like one of the
following: informal, nonstandard, slang, vulgar, obsolete, archaic, rare. Look up the following words and record how your dictionary labels them.
Remember that a recent hardbound desk dictionary will always be the best source
of information about usage.
fl unk
tough (meaning “unfortunate, too bad”)
creep (meaning “an annoying person”)
ain’t
scam
Synonyms A synonym is a word that is close in meaning to another word. Using synonyms helps you avoid unnecessary repetition of the same word in a paper. A paperback
dictionary is not likely to give you synonyms for words, but a good desk dic-
tionary or an online dictionary will. You might also want to own a thesaurus, a
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498 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
book that lists synonyms and antonyms (words approximately opposite in mean- ing to another word). You can also fi nd a thesaurus online—for example, www
.merriam-webster.com will give you access to a thesaurus as well as a dictionary.
Consult a desk dictionary that gives synonyms for the following words, and
write the synonyms in the spaces provided.
heavy
escape
necessary
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Improving Spelling C H A P T E R
Poor spelling often results from bad habits developed in early school years. With work, you can correct such habits. If you can write your name without misspelling it, there is no reason why you can’t do the same with almost any word in the English language. Following are six steps you can take to improve your spelling.
Step 1: Use the Dictionary Get into the habit of using the dictionary (see pages 490–498). When you write a
paper, allow yourself time to look up the spelling of all those words you are un-
sure about. Do not overlook the value of this step just because it is such a simple
one. By using the dictionary, you can probably make yourself a 95 percent better
speller.
Step 2: Keep a Personal Spelling List Keep a list of words you misspell, and study these words regularly. To do this, cre-
ate a chart with the headings “Incorrect Spelling,” “Correct Spelling,” and “Points
to Remember.” You can do this in a notebook or a computer fi le. This chart will
become a personal spelling list that you can consult regularly.
To master the words on your list, do the following:
1. Write down any hint that will help you remember the spelling of a word. For
example, you might want to note that occasion is spelled with two c’s and one s, or that all right is two words, not one word.
2. Study a word by looking at it, saying it, and spelling it. You may also want
to write out the word one or more times, or “air-write” it with your fi nger in
large, exaggerated motions.
3. When you have trouble spelling a long word, try to break the word into syl-
lables and see whether you can spell each syllable. For example, inadvertent can be spelled easily if you can hear and spell in turn its four syllables: in ad ver tent. And consternation can be spelled easily if you hear and spell in
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turn its four syllables: con ster na tion. Remember, then: Try to see, hear, and spell long words syllable by syllable.
4. Keep in mind that review and repeated self-testing are the keys to effective
learning. When you are learning a series of words, go back after studying
each new word and review all the preceding ones.
Step 3: Master Commonly Confused Words Master the meanings and spellings of the commonly confused words on
pages 511–520. Your instructor may assign twenty words at a time for you to study
and may give you a series of quizzes until you have mastered the words.
Step 4: Use a Computer’s Spell-Checker Most word-processing programs feature a spell-checker that will identify incorrect
words and suggest correct spellings. If you are unsure how to use yours, consult
the program’s “help” function. Spell-checkers are not foolproof; they will, for ex-
ample, fail to catch misused homonyms like the words your and you’re.
Step 5: Understand Basic Spelling Rules Explained briefl y here are three rules that may improve your spelling. While ex-
ceptions sometimes occur, the rules hold true most of the time.
Rule 1: Changing y to i When a word ends in a consonant plus y, change y to i when you add an ending (but keep the y before -ing).
try 1 ed 5 tried easy 1 er 5 easier
defy 1 es 5 defi es carry 1 ed 5 carried
ready 1 ness 5 readiness penny 1 less 5 penniless
Rule 2: Final Silent e Drop a fi nal e before an ending that starts with a vowel (the vowels are a, e, i, o, and u).
create 1 ive 5 creative believe 1 able 5 believable
nerve 1 ous 5 nervous share 1 ing 5 sharing
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Keep the fi nal e before an ending that starts with a consonant.
extreme 1 ly 5 extremely life 1 less 5 lifeless
hope 1 ful 5 hopeful excite 1 ment 5 excitement
Rule 3: Doubling a Final Consonant Double the fi nal consonant of a word when all three of the following are true:
a. The word is one syllable or is accented on the last syllable.
b. The word ends in a single consonant preceded by a single vowel.
c. The ending you are adding starts with a vowel.
shop 1 er 5 shopper thin 1 est 5 thinnest
equip 1 ed 5 equipped submit 1 ed 5 submitted
swim 1 ing 5 swimming drag 1 ed 5 dragged
ACTIVITY 1Working with a partner, combine the following words and endings by applying the three rules above.
1. worry 1 ed 5
2. write 1 ing 5
3. marry 1 es 5
4. run 1 ing 5
5. terrify 1 ed 5
6. dry 1 es 5
7. forget 1 ing 5
8. care 1 ful 5
9. control 1 ed 5
10. debate 1 able 5
Step 6: Study a Basic Word List Study the spellings of the words in the list on pages 502–507. They are fi ve hun-
dred of the words most often used in English. Your instructor may assign twenty-
fi ve or fi fty words for you to study at a time and give you a series of quizzes until
you have mastered the list.
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502 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Five Hundred Basic Words ability
absent
accept
accident
ache
across
address
advertise
advice
after
again
against
agree
all right
almost
a lot
already
also
although
always
amateur
American
among
amount
angry 25
animal
another
answer
anxious
appetite
apply
approach
approve
argue
around
arrange
attempt
attention
August
automobile
autumn
avenue
awful
awkward
back
balance
bargain
beautiful
because
become 50
been
before
begin
being
believe
between
bicycle
black
blue
board
borrow
bottle
bottom
brake
breast
breathe
brilliant
brother
building
bulletin
bureau
business
came
can’t
careful 75
careless
cereal
certain
chair
change
charity
cheap
cheat
cheek
chicken
chief
children
choose
church
cigarette
citizen
city
close
clothing
coffee
collect
continued
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Five Hundred Basic Words (continued ) college
color
come
comfortable 100
company
condition
conversation
copy
daily
danger
daughter
daybreak
dear
death
December
decide
deed
dentist
deposit
describe
did
died
different
dinner
direction
discover
disease
distance
doctor 125
does
dollar
don’t
doubt
down
dozen
during
each
early
earth
easy
education
eight
either
empty
English
enough
entrance
evening
everything
examine
except
exercise
exit
expect 150
fact
factory
family
far
February
few
fi fteen
fi ght
fl ower
forehead
foreign
forty
forward
found
fourteen
Friday
friend
from
gallon
garden
general
get
good
grammar
great 175
grocery
grow
guess
half
hammer
hand
handkerchief
happy
having
head
heard
heavy
high
himself
hoarse
holiday
home
continued
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504 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Five Hundred Basic Words (continued ) hospital
house
however
hundred
hungry
husband
instead
intelligence 200
interest
interfere
interrupt
into
iron
itself
January
July
June
just
kindergarten
kitchen
knock
knowledge
labor
laid
language
last
laugh
learn
led
left
leisure
length
lesson 225
letter
life
light
listen
little
loaf
loneliness
long
lose
made
making
many
March
marry
match
matter
may
measure
medicine
men
middle
might
million
minute
mistake 250
Monday
money
month
more
morning
mother
mountain
mouth
much
must
nail
near
needle
neither
never
newspaper
nickel
niece
night
ninety
noise
none
not
nothing
November 275
now
number
ocean
o’clock
October
offer
often
old
omit
once
one
only
operate
continued
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Five Hundred Basic Words (continued ) opinion
opportunity
optimist
original
ought
ounce
overcoat
pain
paper
part
peace
pear 300
pencil
penny
people
perfect
period
person
picture
piece
pillow
place
plain
please
policeman
possible
post offi ce
potato
power
prescription
president
pretty
probably
promise
psychology
public 325
pursue
put
quart
quarter
quick
quiet
quit
quite
quiz
raise
read
ready
really
reason
receive
recognize
refer
religion
remember
repeat
resource
restaurant
ribbon
ridiculous
right 350
said
same
sandwich
Saturday
say
school
scissors
season
see
sentence
September
service
seventeen
several
shoes
should
sight
since
sister
sixteenth
sleep
smoke
soap
soldier
something 375
sometimes
soul
soup
south
stamp
state
still
stockings
straight
continued
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506 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Five Hundred Basic Words (continued ) street
strong
student
studying
such
suffer
sugar
suit
summer
Sunday
supper
sure
sweet
take
teach
tear 400
telegram
telephone
tenant
tenth
than
Thanksgiving
that
theater
them
there
they
thing
thirteen
this
though
thousand
thread
three
through
Thursday
ticket
time
tired
today
together 425
tomorrow
tongue
tonight
touch
toward
travel
trouble
trousers
truly
twelve
uncle
under
understand
United States
until
upon
used
usual
valley
value
variety
vegetable
very
view
villain 450
visitor
voice
vote
wage
wagon
waist
wait
wake
walk
warm
warning
Washington
watch
water
wear
weather
Wednesday
week
weigh
welcome
well
went
were
what
whether 475
which
while
white
whole
whose
continued
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Five Hundred Basic Words (continued ) wife
window
winter
without
woman
wonder
won’t
work
world
worth
would
writing
written
wrong
year
yesterday
yet
young
your
you’re 500
Two spelling mistakes that students often make are to write a lot as one word (alot ) and to write all right as one word (alright ). Do not write either a lot or all right as one word.
TI P
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Regular Reading Through reading a good deal, you will learn words by encountering them a num-
ber of times in a variety of sentences. Repeated exposure to a word in context will
eventually make it a part of your working language.
You should develop the habit of reading a daily newspaper, one or more
weekly magazines, and monthly magazines suited to your interests. In addition,
you should try to read some books for pleasure. This may be especially diffi cult
at times when you also have textbook reading to do. Try, however, to redirect a
regular half hour to one hour of your recreational time to reading books. Doing so,
you may eventually reap the rewards of an improved vocabulary and discover that reading can be truly enjoyable. You might want to check with your instructor for
recommendations about lists of classics, modern classics, and well-regarded books
in different genres. Such lists are also available online.
Vocabulary Development
C H A P T E R
A good vocabulary is a vital part of effective communication. A command of many words will make you a better writer, speaker, listener, and reader. Studies have shown that students with a strong vocabulary, and students who work to improve a limited vocabulary, are more successful in school. And one research study found that a good vocabulary, more than any other factor, was common to people enjoying successful careers. This section de- scribes three ways of developing your word power: (1) regular reading, (2) vocabulary wordsheets, and (3) vocabulary study books. You should keep in mind from the start, however, that none of the approaches will help unless you truly decide that vocabulary development is an important goal. Only when you have this attitude can you begin doing the sustained work needed to improve your word power.
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Vocabulary Wordsheets Vocabulary wordsheets are another means of vocabulary development. When-
ever you read, you should mark off words that you want to learn. After you have
accumulated a number of words, sit down with a dictionary and look up basic
information about each of them. Put this information on a wordsheet like the one
shown in Activity 1. Be sure also to write down a sentence in which each word
appears. A word is always best learned not in a vacuum but in the context of sur-
rounding words.
Study each word as follows. To begin with, make sure you can correctly pro-
nounce the word and its derivations. (Pages 493–495 explain the dictionary pro-
nunciation key that will help you pronounce each word properly.) Next, study the
main meanings of the word until you can say them without looking at them. Fi-
nally, spend a moment looking at the example of the word in context. Follow the
same process with the second word. Then, after testing yourself on the fi rst and the
second words, go on to the third word. After you learn each new word, remember
to continue to test yourself on all the words you have studied. Repeated self-testing
is a key to effective learning.
ACTIVITY 1In your reading, locate four words that you would like to master. Using the com- pleted example as a model, enter your words in the spaces on the vocabulary word-
sheet on page 510 and fi ll in all the needed information. Your instructor may then
check your wordsheet and perhaps give you a quick oral quiz on selected words.
You may receive a standing assignment to add several words a week to a word-
sheet and to study the words. Note that you can create your own wordsheets using
a notebook or a computer fi le, or your instructor may give you copies of the word-
sheet that appears on the next page.
Vocabulary Wordsheet
Word: Pronunciation:
Meanings:
Other forms of the word:
Use of the word in context:
formidable (fôŕ mi d b l)
1. feared or dreaded
2. ext remely diffi cult
formidably formidability
Several formidable obstacles stand
bet ween Matt and his goal.
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Vocabulary Study Books A third way to increase your word power is to use vocabulary study books. Many
vocabulary books and programs are available. The best are those that present words
in one or more contexts and then provide several reinforcement activities for each
word. These books will help you increase your vocabulary if you work with them
on a regular basis.
Vocabulary Wordsheet
1. Word: Pronunciation:
Meanings:
Other forms of the word:
Use of the word in context:
2. Word: Pronunciation:
Meanings:
Other forms of the word:
Use of the word in context:
3. Word: Pronunciation:
Meanings:
Other forms of the word:
Use of the word in context:
4. Word: Pronunciation:
Meanings:
Other forms of the word:
Use of the word in context:
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Homonyms The commonly confused words on the following pages have the same sounds but
different meanings and spellings; such words are known as homonyms. Complete the activity for each set of homonyms, and check off and study the words that give
you trouble. You may want to work in groups of two or three.
all ready completely prepared already previously; before
We were all ready to start the play, but the audience was still being seated. I have already bought the tickets.
Fill in the blanks: I am for the economics examination because
I have studied the chapter three times.
brake stop; the stopping device in a vehicle break come apart
His car bumper has a sticker reading, “I brake for animals.” “I am going to break up with Evan if he keeps seeing other women,” said Elise.
Fill in the blanks: When my car’s emergency slipped, the car rolled back and demolished my neighbor’s rose garden, which caused a
in our good relations with each other.
coarse rough course part of a meal; a school subject; direction; certainly (as in of course).
By the time the waitress served the customers the second course of the meal, she was aware of their coarse eating habits.
Commonly Confused Words
C H A P T E R
This chapter will list homonyms and other commonly confused words and provide activities to help you learn to distinguish them.
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512 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Fill in the blanks: Ted felt that the health instructor’s humor was too
for his taste and was glad when he fi nished the .
hear perceive with the ear here in this place
“The salespeople act as though they don’t see or hear me, even though I’ve been standing here for fi fteen minutes,” the woman complained.
Fill in the blanks: “Did you about the distinguished visitor who
just came into town and is staying at this very hotel?”
hole an empty spot whole entire
“I can’t believe I ate the whole pizza,” moaned Ralph. “I think it’s going to make a hole in my stomach lining.”
Fill in the blanks: The time I was at the party I tried to conceal
the I had in my pants.
its belonging to it it’s shortened form of it is or it has
The car blew its transmission (the transmission belonging to it, the car).
It’s (it has) been raining all week and it’s (it is) raining now.
Fill in the blanks: hot and unsanitary in the restaurant kitchen
I work in, and I don’t think the restaurant deserves good
reputation.
knew past form of know new not old
“I had new wallpaper put up,” said Amelia.
“I knew there was some reason the place looked better,” said Charlie.
Fill in the blanks: Lola that getting her hair cut would give her
face a look.
know to understand no a negative
“I don’t know why my dog Fang likes to attack certain people,” said Phoebe.
“There’s no one thing the people have in common.”
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Chapter 39 Commonly Confused Words 513 C
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Fill in the blanks: I of way to tell whether that politician is honest or not.
pair set of two pear fruit
“What a great pair of legs Dustin has,” said Olivia to Vonnie. Dustin didn’t hear her, for he was feeling very sick after munching on a green pear.
Fill in the blanks: In his lunch box was a of s.
passed went by; succeeded in; handed to past time before the present; beyond, as in “We worked past closing time.”
Someone passed him a wine bottle; it was the way he chose to forget his un- happy past.
Fill in the blanks: I walked the instructor’s offi ce but was afraid
to ask her whether or not I had the test.
peace calm piece part
Nations often risk world peace by fi ghting over a piece of land.
Fill in the blanks: Natalie did not have any until she gave her
dog a of meat loaf.
plain simple plane aircraft
The movie star dressed in plain clothes and wore no makeup so she would not stand out on the plane.
Fill in the blanks: The game-show contestant opened the small box wrapped
in brown paper and found inside the keys to his own jet
.
principal main; a person in charge of a school principle law, standard, or rule
Tim’s high school principal had one principal problem: Tim. This was because there were only two principles in Tim’s life: rest and relaxation.
Fill in the blanks: The reason she dropped out of school was that she believed in the of complete freedom of choice.
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514 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
right correct; opposite of left write put words on paper
If you have the right course card, I’ll write your name on the class roster.
Fill in the blanks: Drew thinks I’m weird because I with both
my and my left hands.
than used in comparisons then at that time
When we were kids, my friend Kathryn had prettier clothes than I did. I really envied her then.
Fill in the blanks: Rachael thought she was better the rest of us,
but she got the lowest grade on the history test.
It might help to remember that then (with an e) is also a time signal.TI P
their belonging to them there at that place; neutral word used with verbs like is, are, was, were, have,
and had they’re shortened form of they are
Two people own that van over there (at that place). They’re (they are) going to move out of their apartment (the apartment belonging to them) and into the van, in order to save money.
Fill in the blanks: not going to invite us to table
because is no room for us to sit down.
threw past form of throw through from one side to the other; fi nished
The fans threw so much litter onto the fi eld that the teams could not go through with the game.
Fill in the blanks: When Mr. Jefferson was screaming about the
violence on television, he the newspaper at his dog.
It might help to remember that the e in principle is also in rule—the meaning of principle.TI
P
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Chapter 39 Commonly Confused Words 515 C
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to verb part, as in to smile; toward, as in “I’m going to heaven” too overly, as in “The pizza was too hot”; also, as in “The coffee was hot, too.” two the number 2
Tony drove to the park to be alone with Cassie. (The fi rst to means “toward”; the second to is a verb part that goes with be.)
Tony’s shirt is too tight, too. (The fi rst too means “overly”; the second too means “also.”)
You need two hands (2 hands) to handle a Whopper.
Fill in the blanks: times tonight, you have been ready
make assumptions without asking questions fi rst.
wear to have on where in what place
Sean wanted to wear his light pants on the hot day, but he didn’t know where he had put them.
Fill in the blanks: Exactly on my leg should I this elastic bandage?
weather atmospheric conditions whether if it happens that; in case; if
Some people go on vacations whether or not the weather is good.
Fill in the blanks: I always ask Ryan or not we’re going to have a
storm, for his bad knee can feel rainy approaching.
whose belonging to whom who’s shortened form of who is and who has
Who’s the instructor whose students are complaining?
Fill in the blanks: the guy car I saw you in?
your belonging to you you’re shortened form of you are
You’re (meaning “you are”) not going to the fair unless your brother (the brother belonging to you) goes with you.
Fill in the blanks: going to have to put aside individual differences
and play together for the sake of team.
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516 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Other Words Frequently Confused Following is a list of other words that people frequently confuse. Working in
groups of two or three, complete the activities for each set of words, and check off
and study the words that give you trouble.
a, an Both a and an are used before other words to mean, approximately, “one.”
Generally you should use an before words starting with a vowel (a, e, i, o, u):
an ache an experiment an elephant an idiot an ox
Generally you should use a before words starting with a consonant (all other letters):
a Coke a brain a cheat a television a gambler
Fill in the blanks: The women had argument over former boyfriend.
accept (ă k sĕ pt9) receive; agree to except (ĕ k sĕ pt9) exclude; but
“I would accept your loan,” said Liam to the bartender, “except that I’m not ready to pay 25 percent interest.”
Fill in the blanks: for the fact that she can’t any criti- cism, Lori is a good friend.
advice (ă d vı̄ s9) noun meaning “an opinion” advise (ă d vı̄ z9) verb meaning “to counsel, to give advice”
I advise you to take the advice of your friends and stop working so hard.
Fill in the blanks: I you to listen carefully to any you get from your boss.
affect (uh fĕ kt9) verb meaning “to infl uence” effect (i fĕ kt9) verb meaning “to bring about something”; noun meaning “result”
The full effects of marijuana and alcohol on the body are only partly known; however, both drugs clearly affect the brain in various ways.
Fill in the blanks: The new tax laws go into next month, and they are going to your income tax deductions.
among implies three or more between implies only two
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Chapter 39 Commonly Confused Words 517 C
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We had to choose from among fi fty shades of paint but between only two fabrics.
Fill in the blanks: The layoff notices distributed the unhappy work-
ers gave them a choice working for another month at full pay and
leaving immediately with two weeks’ pay.
beside along the side of besides in addition to
I was lucky I wasn’t standing beside the car when it was hit.
Besides being unattractive, these uniforms are impractical.
Fill in the blanks: the alarm system hooked up to the door, our neigh-
bors keep a gun their beds.
collage (kō lä zh9) an artistic composition of materials and objects pasted over a surface
college (kŏ l9 ı̈ j) an educational institution providing higher education
The artist made a collage of pictures from an old magazine.
The student studied art history in college.
Fill in the blanks: After I graduated from and moved to a new city,
I created a of photos on my computer desktop to remember all the
friends I had made.
defi antly to boldly challenge or resist defi nitely unquestionably, free of uncertainty
The toddler defi antly screamed as his mother took away the toy.
She was defi nitely taller than her brother.
Fill in the blanks: I remember how upset my mother was the fi rst
time my brother refused to eat his dinner.
desert (dĕ z9 ərt) stretch of dry land; (di zûrt9) to abandon one’s post or duty dessert (dı̆ zûrt9) last part of a meal
Sweltering in the desert, I was tormented by the thought of an icy dessert.
Fill in the blanks: After their meal, Gabriel and Candice carried their
into the living room so that they would not miss the start of the old
movie about Lawrence of Arabia.
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518 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
fewer used with things that can be counted less refers to amount, value, or degree
There were fewer than seven people in all my classes today.
I seem to feel less tired when I exercise regularly.
Fill in the blanks: With people able to stay home with children, to-
day’s families spend time together than in the past.
loose (lo—os) not fastened; not tight-fi tting lose (lo—oz) misplace; fail to win
Phil’s belt is so loose that he always looks ready to lose his pants.
Fill in the blanks: At least once a week our neighbors their dog; it’s
because they let him run .
quiet (kwı̄ 9ı̆ t) peaceful quite (kwı̄ t) entirely; really; rather
After a busy day, the children are now quiet, and their parents are quite tired.
Fill in the blanks: The halls of the church become
lively during square-dance evenings.
though (thō ) despite the fact that thought (thôt) past form of think
Even though she worked, she thought she would have time to go to school.
Fill in the blanks: Yoshiko she would like the job, but even
the pay was good, she hated the traveling involved.
ACTIVITY 1 These sentences check your understanding of its, it’s; there, their, they’re; to, too, two; and your, you’re. Underline the two incorrect spellings in each sentence. Then spell the words correctly in the spaces provided.
1. There still complaining about the weather even though its sunny
and warm.
2. The dog ate it’s bone while too other dogs watched.
3. Although I told them not to park by the tree, there car is parked
their.
4. “Your going to be late,” said his mother. “The carpool is not
going too wait for you.”
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5. Since your the fastest runner on the team, you’re going two run
the anchor leg.
6. Your clothes are to wild for me, but I think their perfect for you.
7. Their were to things I needed to buy at the store, but I forgot both.
8. You’re aunt has a very nice house, but she has two many pillows
on her furniture, and I couldn’t even sit down!
9. John and Sarah spent to much money on there wedding, but their
honeymoon was a free gift.
10. It’s to late to return their car since I wrecked it this afternoon and
its totaled!
Underline the correct word in the parentheses. Don’t try to guess. If necessary,
look back at the explanations of the words.
1. At the beginning of the year, the school’s (principal, principle) announced
that all students would be required to take a personal fi nance class before
they could graduate—(weather, whether) or not they planned to go to
(college, collage).
2. He said (two, too) many students were overspending and getting themselves
into a fi nancial (whole, hole) before they were twenty-one.
3. Those who had already taken the class (knew, new) the teacher was going
to provide a very helpful method for students to learn how to manage (their,
they’re) fi nances.
4. Instead of taking a lecture-based approach, this teacher taught (threw,
through) hands-on learning, as she believed this type of direct experience
would make (quiet, quite) an impact.
5. By the second month of school, the class had (all ready, already) had an
(affect, effect) on many students.
6. Students who used to (wear, where) new clothes every day began purchasing
(less, fewer) new items.
7. In fact, one student who used to purchase a new (pair, pear) of shoes every
month, decided he (defi nitely, defi antly) didn’t need to buy so many new shoes.
8. Another student realized that (its, it’s) easier to save money (than, then) she
originally believed, (though, thought) she still likes to buy a new (peace,
piece) of jewelry every once in a while.
REVIEW TEST 1
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520 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
9. The (advice, advise) offered in the course wound up helping many students
(break, brake) their bad spending habits.
10. The principal expressed the hope that everyone who (passed, past) the
(coarse, course) would now (no, know) how to manage a budget and avoid
getting into debt.
On a separate paper, write short sentences using the ten words shown below.
dessert principal
its affect
you’re past
too through
than knew
REVIEW TEST 2
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Eff ective Word Choice
C H A P T E R
Choose your words carefully when you write. Always take the time to think about your word choices rather than simply using the fi rst word that comes to mind. You want to develop the habit of selecting words that are appro- priate and exact for your purposes. One way you can show sensitivity to language is by avoiding slang, clichés, and pretentious words.
Slang We often use slang expressions when we talk because they are so vivid and col-
orful. However, slang is usually out of place in formal writing. Here are some
examples of slang expressions:
• Rick spent all Saturday messing around with his car’s sound system.
• My boss keeps gettin’ on my case for coming to work late.
• Ruth needs a triple from Starbucks if she plans to pull an all-nighter.
• My sister knows how to dish it out, but I can throw some ‘tude, too.
Slang expressions have a number of drawbacks: They go out of date quickly,
they become tiresome if used excessively in writing, and they may communicate
clearly to some readers but not to others. Also, the use of slang can be a way of
evading the specifi c details that are often needed to make one’s meaning clear in
writing. For example, in “The tires on the Corvette make the car look like some-
thing else,” the writer has not provided the specifi c details about the tires necessary
for us to understand the statement clearly. In general, then, you should avoid slang
in your writing. If you are in doubt about whether an expression is slang, it may
help to check a recently published hardbound dictionary.
ACTIVITY 1Work with a partner to rewrite the following sentences, replacing the italicized slang words with more formal ones.
example
If the instructor would stop hasslin’ me, I could get my act together in the course.
If the instructor would stop bot hering me, I would perform bett er in the course.
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522 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
1. Keira’s so busy that she’s always IM-ing her friends rather than giving them face time.
2. When I fi rst met Nick, I thought he was dope, but he turned out to be a hater and didn’t want me to have other friends.
3. Jason thought it would be cool to fl ash his Patrolmen’s Benevolent Associa- tion card, but it didn’t stop the cop from nailing him for speeding.
Clichés A cliché is an expression that has been worn out through constant use. Some typi- cal clichés are listed below.
Clichés all work and no play saw the light
at a loss for words short but sweet
better late than never sigh of relief
drop in the bucket singing the blues
easier said than done taking a big chance
had a hard time of it time and time again
in the nick of time too close for comfort
in this day and age too little, too late
it dawned on me took a turn for the worse
it goes without saying under the weather
last but not least where he (she) is coming from
make ends meet word to the wise
on top of the world work like a dog
sad but true
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Chapter 40 Effective Word Choice 523 C
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Clichés are common in speech but make your writing seem tired and stale.
Also, clichés—like slang—are often a way of evading the specifi c details that you
must work to provide in your writing. You should, then, avoid clichés and try to
express your meaning in fresh, original ways.
ACTIVITY 2Underline the cliché in each of the following sentences. Then substitute specifi c, fresh words for the trite expression.
example
I passed the test by the skin of my teeth.
1. Hal decided not to eat anything because he was feeling under the weather.
2. Sara arrived at the train station in the nick of time.
3. Clarence was asked to make his speech short but sweet.
I barely pass ed the tes t.
Pretentious Words Some people feel they can improve their writing by using fancy, elevated words
rather than simple, natural words. They use artifi cial, stilted language that more
often obscures their meaning than communicates it clearly. This frequently oc-
curs when students attempt to use a dictionary or thesaurus, but just pick words at
random to replace the simpler words. Using college-level vocabulary is a way to
improve your writing, but you must be careful in choosing words. Not only can cer-
tain choices sound artifi cial, but another problem may arise when words are chosen
without enough thought. Since many words can act as nouns, verbs, adjectives, and
adverbs, using the wrong part of speech often leads to obscured meaning.
Here are some unnatural-sounding sentences:
• It was a marvelous gamble to procure some slumber.
• We relished the delectable noon-hour repast.
• The offi cer apprehended the imbibed vehicular operator.
• The female had an affectionate spot in her heart for domesticated felines.
The same thoughts can be expressed more clearly and effectively by using plain,
natural language, as below:
• It was an excellent chance to get some sleep.
• We enjoyed the delicious lunch.
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524 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
• The offi cer arrested the drunk driver.
• The woman had a warm spot in her heart for cats.
Here are some other infl ated words and simpler words that could replace them:
Infl ated Words Simpler Words amplitude fullness or abundance
terminate fi nish
subsequent to after
delineate describe or explain
facilitate assist or help
moribund dying or wasting away
manifested established or shown
to endeavor to attempt or to try
habituated accustomed or familiar
Cross out the pretentious words in each sentence. Then substitute clear, simple
language for the artifi cial words.
example
The chemistry educator asked each of his budding scholars not to prevaricate
when explaining how everyone in the assemblage had gotten an A on the
exam.
1. Only Tanner comprehended what transpired at the fi nalization of the movie.
2. John utilized Natalie’s conceptualization to create a video on YouTube.
3. Leanne aspires to legally change her identifi cation to “Li Ann.”
Th e chemist ry teacher asked each of his students not to lie wh en ex plaining how
everyone in the class had gott en an A on the ex am.
ACTIVITY 3
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REVIEW TEST
Certain words are italicized in the following paragraph. These words are either
slang, cliché, or infl ated. In the space between the lines, replace the italicized
words with more effective diction. One italicized phrase is not needed at all; sim-
ply cross that one out.
Performance evaluations can be the worst of times for both employee
and employer. Employers check out how the employee has performed
over a certain period of time and facilitate an interview with the
employee. One of the things employers focus on is improvement. Under
areas of improvement, employers write things like: needs to initiate proper
arrival time at work, needs to facilitate excellent group collaboration, and
needs to increase production. Another area that employers focus on is
goal setting because this gives an employee something to work toward.
Sometimes goal setting might identify skill areas that need improvement,
but often it involves something simple like increasing production by a big
percent or setting up a fi fteen-minute break every afternoon. After focusing
on the things that employees need to improve, employers will often
chew the fat about the employee’s accomplishments. This is when both the
employee and employer have a chance to revel in the positive part of the
review. Accomplishments that employers like to highlight are things like
working like a dog, landing large accounts, or overall positive behavior.
Although performance evaluations can generate heart palpitations, they
often help employers and employees implement changes that attain
positive personnel performance.
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SECTION PREVIEW Chapter 41 Editing Tests
Practice S E C T I O N
HOW MUCH PRACTICE DO YOU NEED? When you are learning a new skill, how much practice do you put in to improve? Think of a time when practice paid off for you, and write a narrative paragraph about the experience. You may want to review Chapter 15, “Narration.”
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Editing Tests C H A P T E R
This chapter will give you practice in editing, or revising, to correct sentence- skills mistakes.
Twelve Editing Tests The twelve editing tests in this chapter will give you practice in revising for
sentence-skills mistakes. Remember that if you don’t edit carefully, you run the
risk of sabotaging much of the work you have put into a paper. If readers see too
many surface fl aws, they may assume you don’t place much value on what you
have to say, and they may not give your ideas a fair hearing. Revising to eliminate
sentence-skills errors is a basic part of clear, effective writing.
In fi ve tests, the spots where errors occur have been underlined; your job is to
identify and correct each error. In the rest of the tests, you must locate as well as
identify and correct the errors.
Following are hints that can help you edit the next-to-fi nal draft of a paper for
sentence-skills mistakes.
Editing Hints 1. Have at hand two essential tools: a good dictionary (see page 490) and a
grammar handbook (you can use Chapter 5 and Part 4 of this book).
2. Use a sheet of paper to cover your essay so that you will expose only
one sentence at a time. Look for errors in grammar, spelling, and typing.
It may help to read each sentence out loud. If a sentence does not read
clearly and smoothly, chances are something is wrong.
3. Pay special attention to the kinds of errors you yourself tend to make.
For example, if you tend to write run-ons or fragments, be especially on
the lookout for those errors.
4. Proofreading symbols that may be of particular help are the following:
omit in the the meantime
insert missing beleve letter or word
add a capital My persian Cat (or a lowercase) letter
^
cap, lc
i ^
cap lc
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NAME:
DATE:
528 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
EDITING TEST 1
Identify the fi ve mistakes in paper format in the student paper that follows. From
the box below, choose the letters that describe the fi ve mistakes and write those
letters in the spaces provided.
a. The title should not be underlined.
b. The title should not be set off in quotation marks.
c. There should not be a period at the end of a title.
d. All the major words in a title should be capitalized.
e. The title should be a phrase, not a complete sentence.
f. The fi rst line of a paper should stand independently of the title.
g. A line should be skipped between the title and the fi rst line of the paper.
h. The fi rst line of a paragraph should be indented.
i. The right-hand margin should not be crowded.
j. Hyphenation should occur only between syllables.
Writing a Success ful Res earch Paper Requires Planning
Th is task requires three important steps: planning, planning, and planning.
First, det ermine if enough information about the chosen topic can be found
in the college library or online. If not , choose anot her topic. Next , det ermine
if the topic is too broad to write about in a relatively short paper. If so, limit
the topic. Next , des ign a res earch plan. Begin this part of the process by fr aming
a res earch ques tion about the topic. For ex ample, such a ques tion for a paper
on the topic of bilingual education might be this: “Is the bilingual app roach
the bes t way to mainstream sec ond-language speakers?” Next , make
a preliminary list of sources —books, articles , and online res ources —in
wh ich useful information might be found. Now, start taking not es !
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
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NAME:
DATE:
Chapter 41 Editing Tests 529
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EDITING TEST 2
Identify the sentence-skills mistakes at the underlined spots in the paragraph that
follows. From the box below, choose the letter that describes each mistake and
write it in the space provided. The same mistake may appear more than once.
a. fragment d. apostrophe mistake
b. run-on e. faulty parallelism
c. mistake in subject-verb agreement
Looking Out for Yourself
It’s sad but true: “If you don’t look out for yourself, no one else will.” For ex-
ample, some people have a false idea about the power of a college degree, they think that
once they possesses the degree, the world will be waiting on their doorstep. In fact, nobody
is likely to be on their doorstep unless, through advance planning, they has prepared them-
selves for a career. The kind in which good job opportunities exist. Even after a person
has landed a job, however, a healthy amount of self-interest is needed. People who hide in
corners or with hesitation to let others know about their skills doesn’t get promotions or
raises. Its important to take credit for a job well done, whether the job involves writing a
report, organized the offi ce fi ling system, or calming down an angry customer. Also, people
should feel free to ask the boss for a raise. If they work hard and really deserve it. Those
who look out for themselves get the rewards, people who depend on others to help them
along get left behind.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
1
2
3
4
5 6
7
8
9
10
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530 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
EDITING TEST 3
Identify the sentence-skills mistakes at the underlined spots in the paragraph that fol-
lows. From the box below, choose the letter that describes each mistake and write it
in the space provided. The same mistake may appear more than once.
a. fragment e. missing comma after introductory words
b. run-on f. misplaced modifi er
c. mistake in verb tense
d. mistake in irregular verb
Treating People with Dignity
While preparing for a recent chemistry exam I witnessed a true act of humanity. It
was a really hot day. One of those days that makes the news. Not only does the thermom-
eter read 101 degrees, but the humidity was so high that just stepping outside could cause
a person to become dehydrated. I was studying at my local Starbucks. When I noticed two
men slowly enter the coffee shop. Both were homeless from their appearance. Their clothes
were raggedy, they both had multiple bags of items that they clung to. As they walked in,
the barista poured two tall glasses of ice water, and slided them across the counter. The
men took the water and sat down at a table no money was exchanged. For more than three
hours I observed both men sit and savor their water and the cool air-conditioning. No one
bothered them or asked them to leave. It was obvious that the employees recognize the
importance of treating people with dignity and kindness.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
1
2 3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
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Chapter 41 Editing Tests 531
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EDITING TEST 4
Identify the sentence-skills mistakes at the underlined spots in the paragraph that
follows. From the box below, choose the letter that describes each mistake and
write it in the space provided. The same mistake may appear more than once.
a. fragment e. apostrophe mistake
b. run-on f. misplaced modifi er
c. irregular verb mistake g. missing quotation marks
d. missing comma after introductory words
Corsica: a Brief History
The island of Corsica lays only a short distance from the southern coast of
France. Just north of the Italian island of Sardinia. Mountainous and rugged, Napoleon
Bonaparte, the Emperor of the French, was born on this island. Corsica is also the setting
of Alexander Dumas The Corsican Brothers, a novel about twins, who were supposed to
feel each other’s physical pain. Early in its history Corsica was occupied by the Carthag-
inians, the Phoenicians, the Greeks, the Etruscans, and the Romans, becoming the prop-
erty of the Italian city-state of Genoa in the fourteenth century, the island stayed in Italian
hands for four hundred years. In fact, existing as an independent nation for a short while
during the eighteenth century, the offi cial language remained Italian. That changed. After
the French took control 1769. Genoa is said to have sold its interests in Corsica to France,
however, Professor Cavour, my Italian teacher, once claimed that “those sneaky French
stole it.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
1
2 3
4
5
6
7
8 9
10
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532 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
EDITING TEST 5
Identify the sentence-skills mistakes at the underlined spots in the paragraph that
follows. From the box below, choose the letter that describes each mistake and
write it in the space provided. The same mistake may appear more than once.
a. fragment e. missing quotation mark
b. run-on f. missing comma between two complete thoughts
c. faulty parallelism g. missing comma after introductory words
d. missing apostrophe h. misspelled word
Billy Budd, Sailor
Herman Melville’s novel Moby Dick is his masterpiece but the Melville book that most
students know best is Billy Budd. The story of an innocent, handsome young sailor by that name.
While he is serving on the American ship Rights of Man, a British warship comes alongside his
and takes several American seamen prisoner, Billy is among them. After serving on the British
ship for only a little while the noble Billy succeeds in winning the admiration of the British
captain, Edward Vere, and that of most of the crew. Except for John Claggart, the evil master-of-
arms, whose hatred Billy has drawn for no apparent reason. Eventually, Claggart accuses Billy of
starting a mutiny, this charge is clearly untrue. However, the master-of-arms accusation enrages
the seaman, who loses his composure, strikes Claggart, and killing him. Realizing that Claggart’s
accusation provoked Billy, the captain sympathizes with the young man, but he knows he has
to try Billy before a jury on board ship. Following navel law to the letter, the jury convicts him.
Shortly thereafter, Billy is hanged, much to the regret of all those involved, but not before he
utters one of the most memorable lines in American literature: “God bless Captain Vere!
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
1
2
3 4
5
6 7
8
9
10
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EDITING TEST 6
Locate and correct the ten sentence-skills mistakes in the following passage. The
mistakes are listed in the box below. As you locate each mistake, write the num-
ber of the word group in the space provided. Then in the space between the lines,
edit and correct each mistake.
5 fragments
5 run-ons
The Language Evolves
1Forty years ago, no one would have batted an eye over inadvertent sexism in
the media, in newspapers and magazines, and on the radio and television, people
used words such as “fi sherman” to refer to everyone who fi shed. 2“Policeman”
to refer to all police offi cers. 3“Postman” for anyone who carried the mail. 4In-
deed, print journalists and television broadcasters called themselves “newsmen,”
advertising executives were known as “ad men.” 5Even the word “mankind” was
used as a blanket term to refer to the human race. 6Despite the fact that at least
half of its members were female. 7Today the situation has changed, women fi g-
ure prominently in the professions, in government, and in business. 8As a result,
more respect seems to be given them in the media. 9In fact, many women serve as
executives in the media industry itself. 10In 1984 and in 2008, the major political
parties nominated women as their vice-presidential candidates, no one doubts that
someday soon a woman will be her party’s candidate for the land’s highest offi ce.
11Perhaps in the next presidential election. 12As a result, the media are, more and
more, granting women equal status. 13A status that they deserve and have earned.
14The media no longer call all fi re-fi ghters “fi remen,” when referring to a nonspe-
cifi c doctor, lawyer, politician, scientist, or other professional, they have replaced
the pronoun “he” with the more representative “he or she.”
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534 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
EDITING TEST 7
Locate and correct the ten sentence-skills mistakes in the following letter. The
mistakes are listed in the box below. As you locate each mistake, write the num-
ber of the word group in the space provided. Then in the space between the lines,
edit and correct each mistake.
2 fragments: 1 apostrophe mistake:
2 missing commas between 1 run-on:
items in a series: 1 missing comma between
2 missing commas after two complete thoughts:
introductory word(s):
1 irregular verb mistake:
Houston 43-B
Wallace Residence Center
University of Idaho
Moscow, Idaho 83843
September 28, 2014
Dear Mom,
1I know you prefer letters to e-mails so I decided to sit down and write you a
letter to get you caught up on my life at school. 2First I wanted to thank you so
much for the great care package from Hip Kits. 3What a nice surprise it was to
open the GoGo Gluten Free box. 4My roommate was very envious as I unloaded
the cookies chips and chocolate bars. 5Don’t worry, you raised me well. 6And I
shared some of the goodies.
7Classes are good. 8I am so excited about getting into the Ecology and
Conservation Biology program. 9Even though it means that my class loads are
going to be very heavy over the next several semesters. 10My advisor telled me
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that as long as my grades continue to stay high, I should be able maintain my
current scholarships. 11He also explained there were some additional scholar-
ships I may qualify for by next semester.
12As you know, this weekend was Homecoming. 13It was a great ending to
a week of activities. 14The parade was well attended over fi fty different groups
were represented with elaborate fl oats depicting this years theme—Vandal
Pride, Planet Wide. 15Our game against Temple University was one of the best
I have seen. 16It was a great weekend to be a Vandal!
17As much as I would like to write more I really have to get back to study-
ing. 18I have quite a few tests coming up, and I want my grades to make you
proud.
19Lots of love,
Sam
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536 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
EDITING TEST 8
Locate and correct the ten sentence-skills mistakes in the following passage. The
mistakes are listed in the box below. As you locate each mistake, write the num-
ber of the word group in the space provided. Then in the space between the lines,
edit and correct each mistake.
1 run-on 1 missing comma between
1 mistake in subject-verb items in a series
agreement 2 apostrophe mistakes
1 missing comma after introductory
words 2 missing quotation marks
2 missing commas around an
interrupter
Walking Billboards
1Many Americans have turned into driving, walking billboards. 2As much as
we all claim to hate commercials on television we dont seem to have any qualms
about turning ourselves into commercials. 3Our car bumpers for example advertise
lake resorts underground caverns, and amusement parks. 4Also, we wear clothes
marked with other peoples initials and slogans. 5Our fascination with the names
of designers show up on the backs of our sneakers, the breast pockets of our shirts,
and the right rear pockets of our blue jeans. 6Also, we wear T-shirts fi lled with all
kinds of advertising messages. 7For instance, people are willing to wear shirts that
read, “Dillon Construction,” “Nike,” or even I Got Crabs at Ed’s Seafood Palace.
8In conclusion, we say we hate commercials, we actually pay people for the right
to advertise their products.
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Chapter 41 Editing Tests 537
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EDITING TEST 9
Locate and correct the ten sentence-skills mistakes in the following passage. The
mistakes are listed in the box below. As you locate each mistake, write the num-
ber of the word group in the space provided. Then in the space between the lines,
edit and correct each mistake.
2 fragments
2 missing commas between items
in a series
2 missing commas after introductory
words
2 apostrophe mistakes
1 subject-verb agreement
1 faulty parallelism
My Daughter, the Future Park Ranger
1When my daughter was fi ve and we were visiting Great Smoky Mountains
National Park. 2She decided that she wanted to earn as many Jr. Ranger badges as
she could before she turned thirteen. 3The United States National Park Systems
Junior Ranger program is designed to enhance the experience of children while
they are visiting the nations parks. 4Each time we go to a national park my daugh-
ter immediately seeks out a Park Ranger to ask about the activities she will need
to complete in order to earn a new badge. 5Once she gets the information, she sits
down with her father and me to plan out our visit. 6Most badges requires partici-
pating in one Ranger-led activity. 7So far, we have attended numerous historical
talks and nature hikes a presentation by a Blackfoot Indian and a guided walk
through historical Boston. 8In addition to the Ranger-led activities my daughter
usually has to fi ll out a workbook that is designed for her age group. 9These work-
books help guide her through the park and highlight important information like
natural wonders, historically signifi cant buildings, and the features of the park that
are important. 10She has earned thirty-seven badges and is looking forward to our
trip to Washington D.C. 11Because she is certain she will be able to earn enough
badges to bring her total to fi fty.
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538 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Locate and correct the ten sentence-skills mistakes in the following cover letter.
The mistakes are listed in the box below. As you locate each mistake, write the
number of the word group in the space provided. Then in the space between the
lines, edit and correct each mistake.
EDITING TEST 10
1 missing colon:
1 missing apostrophe:
1 mistake in capitalization:
1 mistake in verb tense:
1 missing comma:
2 homonym mistakes:
1 dangling modifi er:
1 fragment:
1 run-on:
Melissa Kueny
Personnel Offi cer
Longview Recreation Inc.
Longview, WA 98632
1Dear Ms. Kueny
2I am replying to your post on Craigs List that indicated an opening at
Longview Recreation Inc. for an activities coordinator. 3Familiar with the out-
doors and outgoing, the position seems ideal for me.
4I spend the past three years working at Tall Oaks Conference Center wear
I developed and implemented activities for children in grades 4-12. 5My job
required me to think of creative and safe ways to promote physical fi tness. 6And
encourage a love of the outdoors and cooperation among the children.
7Also, I took several recreational counseling classes at the university of
Washington. 8I learned about recreational leadership and planning, I even took
a class on exercise techniques.
9Please feel free to call me for an interview. 10Thank you for you’re consideration.
11Sincerely
Tanya Grubechek
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539
EDITING TEST 11
Each underlined area in the resume excerpt below contains a sentence-skills
mistake. Identify the mistake and write its item number in the appropriate space
in the box below. Then correct the mistake in the space above each error.
Alyssa Leong
1597 bagley Street
2Torrance CA 90501
Phone: (310) 555-5555 [email protected]
Objective
I hope to fi nd a position as a certifi ed nurse assistant at a nursing facility that
will offer me rewarding work, 3hours that are full time, and medical benefi ts.
Summary of Qualifi cations
4Compassionate, competent, and hardworking, my experience caring for people
is extensive. 5Having volunteered at an adult residential care home for two years.
I am aware of the responsibilities for providing basic care. 6At the care home. 7I
helped staff members and sometimes fed, bathed, and dress clients. 8My supervi-
sors’ encouraged me to enroll in a certifi ed nursing assistant program. 9In 2009, I
completed a six-month training, I also received my CNA certifi cation.
Education
2011 Certifi ed Nursing Assistant Los Angeles Adult Community School
2009 Diploma Roosevelt High School
Work History
9/2009-6/2011 Volunteer 10South central adult residential Care Home
• Assisted clients with personal hygiene and recreational activities
• Provided companionship
Missing capital letter(s):
Dangling modifi er:
Faulty parallelism:
Fragment:
Inconsistent verb tense:
Run-on:
Apostrophe mistake:
Missing comma:
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540 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
DT Food Services Ltd. Employment Application 1. Date of Application
August 15 2014
Social Security #
123-45-6789 Last Name
Lee-Thomas First Name
Leona Middle Initial
F.
Address (Street number and name)
550 Tenth Avenue 2. City, State, and Zip Code
carson city, NV 89706
3. Desired Position
“Food Server” 4. Date Available
Tomorow Home Phone
(123) 555-5566 Cell Phone
(456) 777-8899
EDUCATION
Schools Name
Location
Dates Attended
From: To:
Grad? Major/Minor
Course Work
Type of
Degree
High School 5. Kennedy High school 9/07 to 6/11 YES X NO
College or
University
Washoe Community College
9/11 to 6/12 YES NO X
Other Training
or Education
6. Coarse in typing YES X NO
WORK HISTORY (include volunteer experience. Use additional sheets if necessary.)
7. Current or Last Employer:
Grocery outlet 8. Address:
120 South Carson Street Carson City NV 89706
9. Job Title:
Sales’ Clerk Supervisor’s Name and Title
Julie Leroy, Manager Telephone Number
Dates Employed (mo/yr-mon/yr)
10/13 to present Starting Salary
$8.25/hour Ending or Current Salary
$9.00/hour Reason for Leaving
N/A
10. List major duties in order of their importance in the job:
I operate the cash register. Also stock shelves.
Each numbered box in the sample application form contains a sentence-skills
mistake. Identify each of the ten mistakes. As you fi nd each, write the type of
mistake you found in the space provided. Then correct it next to your answer.
The fi rst one has been done for you.
1.
2.
3.
4.
miss ing comma: August 15, 2014
EDITING TEST 12
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5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
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Agr Correct the mistake in agreement of subject and verb (410–425) or pronoun and the word the pronoun refers to (416–421).
Apos Correct the apostrophe mistake (460–467). Bal Balance the parts of the sentence so they have the same (parallel) form
(112–113).
Cap Correct the mistake in capital letters (447–455). Coh Revise to improve coherence (90–92; 146–148). Comma Add a comma (476–484). CS Correct the comma splice (381–393). DM Correct the dangling modifi er (435–440). Det Support or develop the topic more fully by adding details (61–66; 76–82). Frag Attach the fragment to a sentence or make it a sentence (367–380). lc Use a lowercase (small) letter rather than a capital (447–455). MM Correct the misplaced modifi er (433–435). ¶ Indent for a new paragraph. No ¶ Do not indent for a new paragraph. Pro Correct the pronoun mistake (416–421). Quot Correct the mistake in quotation marks (468–475). R-O Correct the run-on (381–393). Sp Correct the spelling error (499–507).
Trans Supply or improve a transition (92–98). Und Underline or italicize (471–473). Verb Correct the verb or verb form (402–415). Wordy Omit needless words (119–121). WW Replace the word marked with a more accurate one (521–525). ? Write the illegible word clearly. / Eliminate the word, letter, or punctuation mark so slashed. ^ Add the omitted word or words. ;/:/-/— Add semicolon (486), colon (485); hyphen (487), or dash (486). ✓ You have something fi ne or good here: an expression, a detail, an idea.
542 Part 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
Correction Symbols Here is a list of symbols the instructor may use when marking papers. The numbers in parentheses
refer to the pages that explain the skill involved.
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What do you notice about the student in this photograph? Although he most likely has use of a smartphone, laptop, or tablet, he is choosing to read a printed text. Will computers and the Internet ever replace the need for printed books? Think about this question and write a response.
P R E V I E W
Introduction to the Readings
Fift een Reading Selections
Reading Comprehension Chart
Readings for Writers P
A R
T
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Introduction to the Readings
The Format of Each Selection Each selection begins with a short overview that gives helpful background infor-
mation. The selection is then followed by three sets of questions.
• First, there are Vocabulary in Context questions to help you expand your knowledge of selected words.
The reading selections in Part 5 will help you fi nd topics for writing. Some
of the selections provide helpful practical information. For example,
you’ll learn how to deal with interpersonal confl ict and how to avoid being
manipulated by clever ads. Other selections deal with thought-provoking
aspects of contemporary life. One article, for instance, examines modern
young adult literature and how it addresses controversial topics relevant
to teens. Still other selections are devoted to a celebration of human goals
and values; one essay, for example, reminds us of the power that praise and
appreciation can have in our daily lives. The varied subjects should inspire
lively class discussions as well as serious individual thought. The selec-
tions should also provide a continuing source of high-interest material for
a wide range of writing assignments.
The selections serve another purpose as well. They will help you develop
reading skills that will directly benefi t you as a writer. First, through close read-
ing, you will learn how to recognize the main idea or point of a selection and
how to identify and evaluate the supporting material that develops the main
idea. In your writing, you will aim to achieve the same essential structure: an
overall point followed by detailed, valid support for that point. Second, close
reading will help you explore a selection and its possibilities thoroughly. The
more you understand about what is said in a piece, the more ideas and feelings
you may have about writing on an assigned topic or a related topic of your
own. A third benefi t of close reading is becoming more aware of authors’ sty-
listic devices—for example, their introductions and conclusions, their ways of
presenting and developing a point, their use of transitions, their choice of lan-
guage to achieve a particular tone. Recognizing these devices in other people’s
writing will help you enlarge your own range of writing techniques.
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• Reading Comprehension Questions foster several important reading skills: recognizing a subject or topic, determining the thesis or main idea, identifying
key supporting points, and making inferences. Answering the questions will
enable you and your instructor to check quickly your basic understanding of a
selection. More signifi cantly, as you move from one selection to the next, you
will sharpen your reading skills as well as strengthen your thinking skills—
two key factors in making you a better writer.
• Following the comprehension questions are several Discussion Questions. In addition to dealing with Content, these questions focus on Structure, Style, and Tone.
Finally, several Writing Assignments accompany each selection. Many of the as- signments provide guidelines on how to proceed, including suggestions for pre-
writing and appropriate methods of development. Some readings also feature
related images and writing prompts intended to help you probe and analyze the
images. When writing your responses to the readings, you will have opportunities
to apply all the methods of development presented in Part 2 of this book.
How to Read Well: Four General Steps Skillful reading is an important part of becoming a skillful writer. Following are
four steps that will make you a better reader—both of the selections here and in
your reading at large.
1 Concentrate as You Read To improve your concentration, follow these tips. First, read in a place where you
can be quiet and alone. Don’t choose a spot where a TV or a video game is on or
where friends or family are talking nearby. Next, sit in an upright position when
you read. If your body is in a completely relaxed position, sprawled across a bed or
nestled in an easy chair, your mind is also going to be completely relaxed. The light
muscular tension that comes from sitting upright in a chair promotes concentration
and keeps your mind ready to work. Finally, consider using your index fi nger (or a
pen) as a pacer while you read. Lightly underline each line of print with your index
fi nger as you read down a page. Hold your hand slightly above the page and move
your fi nger at a speed that is a little too fast for comfort. This pacing with your
index fi nger, like sitting upright in a chair, creates a slight physical tension that will
keep your body and mind focused and alert.
2 Skim Material before You Read It In skimming, you spend about two minutes rapidly surveying a selection, looking for im-
portant points and skipping secondary material. Follow this sequence when skimming:
• Begin by reading the overview that precedes the selection.
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546 Part 5 Readings for Writers
• Then study the title of the selection for a few moments. A good title is the
shortest possible summary of a selection; it often tells you in just a few
words what a selection is about.
• Next, form a basic question (or questions) out of the title. Forming
questions out of the title is often a key to locating a writer’s main idea—
your next concern in skimming.
• Read the fi rst two or three paragraphs and the last two or three paragraphs
in the selection. Very often a writer’s main idea, if it is directly stated, will appear in one of these paragraphs and will relate to the title.
• Finally, look quickly at the rest of the selection for other clues to important
points. Are there any subheads you can relate in some way to the title? Are
there any words the author has decided to emphasize by setting them off
in italic or boldface type? Are there any major lists of items signaled by words such as fi rst, second, also, another, and so on?
3 Read the Selection Straight Th rough with a Pen Nearby Don’t slow down or turn back; just aim to understand as much as you can the fi rst
time through. Place a check or star beside answers to basic questions you formed
from the title, and beside other ideas that seem important. Number lists of impor-
tant points 1, 2, 3, . . . . Circle words you don’t understand. Put question marks in
the margin next to passages that are unclear and that you will want to reread.
4 Work with the Material Go back and reread passages that were not clear the fi rst time through. Look up
words that block your understanding of ideas, and write their meanings in the
margin. Also, reread carefully the areas you identifi ed as most important; doing so
will enlarge your understanding of the material. Now that you have a sense of the
whole, prepare a short outline of the selection by answering the following ques-
tions on a sheet of paper:
• What is the main idea?
• What key points support the main idea?
• What seem to be other important points in the selection?
By working with the material in this way, you will signifi cantly increase your
understanding of a selection. Effective reading, just like effective writing, does not
happen all at once. Rather, it is a process. Often you begin with a general impres-
sion of what something means, and then, by working at it, you move to a deeper
level of understanding of the material.
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How to Answer the Vocabulary in Context Questions To decide on the meaning of an unfamiliar word, consider its surrounding context. Ask
yourself, “Are there any clues in the sentence that suggest what this word means?”
How to Answer the Comprehension Questions: Specifi c Hints Several important reading skills are involved in the reading comprehension ques-
tions that follow each selection. The skills are
• Summarizing the selection by providing a title for it
• Determining the main idea
• Recognizing key supporting details
• Making inferences
The following hints will help you apply each of these reading skills:
• Subject or title. Remember that the title should accurately describe the entire selection. It should be neither too broad nor too narrow for the material in the selection. It should answer the question “What is this
about?” as specifi cally as possible. Note that you may at times fi nd it
easier to do the “title” question after the “main idea” question.
• Main idea. Choose the statement that you think best expresses the main idea or thesis of the entire selection. Remember that the title will often
help you focus on the main idea. Then ask yourself, “Does most of the
material in the selection support this statement?” If you can answer “yes”
to this question, you have found the thesis.
• Key details. If you were asked to give a two-minute summary of a selection, the major details are the ones you would include in that
summary. To determine the key details, ask yourself, “What are the major
supporting points for the thesis?”
• Inferences. Answer these questions by drawing on the evidence presented in the selection and on your own common sense. Ask yourself, “What reasonable
judgments can I make on the basis of the information in the selection?”
On page 671 is a chart on which you can keep track of your performance as
you answer the vocabulary and comprehension questions for each selection. The
chart will help you identify reading skills you need to strengthen.
* * *
The readings begin on the next page. Enjoy!
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Goals and Values
All the Good Th ings Sister Helen Mrosla
PREVIEW
Sometimes the smallest things we do have the biggest im- pact. A teacher’s impulsive idea, designed to brighten a dull Friday-afternoon class, affected her students more than
she ever dreamed. Sister Helen Mrosla’s moment of classroom inspiration took on a life of its own, returning to visit her at a most unexpected time. Her account of the experience reminds us of the human heart’s endless hunger for recognition and appreciation.
He was in the fi rst third-grade class I taught at Saint Mary’s School in Morris,
Minnesota. All thirty-four of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was
one in a million. He was very neat in appearance but had that happy-to-be-alive
attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.
Mark talked incessantly.* I had to remind him again and again that talking
without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was
his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving—“Thank you
for correcting me, Sister!” I didn’t know what to make of it at fi rst, but before long
I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.
One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often,
and then I made a novice teacher’s mistake. I looked at him and said, “If you say
one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!”
It wasn’t ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, “Mark is talking again.” I
hadn’t asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the
punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.
I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk,
very deliberately opened my drawer, and took out a roll of masking tape. Without
saying a word, I proceeded to Mark’s desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made
a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the room. As I
glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at me.
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That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark’s
desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my shoulders. His fi rst words were, “Thank
you for correcting me, Sister.”
At the end of the year I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years fl ew
by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome
than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instruction in the
“new math,” he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had talked in the third.
One Friday, things just didn’t feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept
all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves—
and edgy* with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand.
So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of
paper, leaving a space after each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing
they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to fi nish the assignment, and as the
students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said,
“Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend.”
That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of
paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class
was smiling. “Really?” I heard whispered. “I never knew that meant anything to
anyone!” “I didn’t know others liked me so much!”
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if the students
discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise
had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one
another again.
That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from
a vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother
asked me the usual questions about the trip—the weather, my experiences in
general. There was a slight lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways
glance and simply said, “Dad?” My father cleared his throat as he usually did be-
fore something important. “The Eklunds called last night,” he began. “Really?” I
said. “I haven’t heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is.”
Dad responded quietly. “Mark was killed in Vietnam,” he said. “The funeral is
tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend.” To this day I can still
point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffi n before. Mark looked so hand-
some, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark, I would give all the
masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me.
The church was packed with Mark’s friends. Chuck’s sister sang “The Battle
Hymn of the Republic.” Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was
diffi cult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler
played Taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffi n and
sprinkled it with holy water.
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550 Part 5 Readings for Writers
I was the last one to bless the coffi n. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who had
acted as pallbearer came up to me. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked. I nod-
ded as I continued to stare at the coffi n. “Mark talked about you a lot,” he said.
After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates headed to Chuck’s farmhouse
for lunch. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me. “We want
to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “They found
this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.”
Opening the billfold, he carefully
removed two worn pieces of notebook
paper that had obviously been taped,
folded and refolded many times. I knew
without looking that the papers were the
ones on which I had listed all the good
things each of Mark’s classmates had
said about him. “Thank you so much for
doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you
can see, Mark treasured it.”
Mark’s classmates started to gather
around us. Charlie smiled rather sheep-
ishly and said, “I still have my list. it’s
in the top drawer of my desk at home.”
Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to
put his list in our wedding album.” “I
have mine too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my
diary.” Then Vicki, another classmate,
reached into her pocketbook, took out her
wallet, and showed her worn and frazzled
list to the group. “I carry this with me at
all times,” Vicki said without batting an
eyelash. “I think we all saved our lists.”
That’s when I fi nally sat down and
cried. I cried for Mark and for all his
friends who would never see him again.
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FROM LOOKING AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH, WHAT CAN you tell about the relationship between the students and their instructor? What specifi c visual clues help you draw these conclusions? Write a paragraph that describes the kind of relationship that is being demonstrated and why this is or is not, in your opinion, a good student-teacher relationship.
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word incessantly in “Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable” (paragraph 2) means
a. slowly.
b. quietly.
c. constantly.
d. pleasantly.
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2. The word edgy in “We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves—and
edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand”
(paragraph 8) means
a. funny.
b. calm.
c. easily annoyed.
d. dangerous.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. Talkative Mark
b. My Life as a Teacher
c. More Important Than I Knew
d. A Tragic Death
2. Which sentence best expresses the main idea of the selection?
a. Although Sister Helen sometimes scolded Mark Eklund, he appreciated
her devotion to teaching.
b. When a former student of hers died, Sister Helen discovered how
important one of her assignments had been to him and his classmates.
c. When her students were cranky one day, Sister Helen had them write
down something nice about each of their classmates.
d. A pupil whom Sister Helen was especially fond of was tragically killed
while serving in Vietnam.
3. Upon reading their lists for the fi rst time, Sister Helen’s students
a. were silent and embarrassed.
b. were disappointed.
c. pretended to think the lists were stupid, although they really liked them.
d. smiled and seemed pleased.
4. In the days after the assignment to write down something nice about one
another,
a. students didn’t mention the assignment again.
b. students often brought their lists to school.
c. Sister Helen received calls from several parents complaining about the
assignment.
d. Sister Helen decided to repeat the assignment in every one of her classes.
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552 Part 5 Readings for Writers
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. What did Sister Helen hope to accomplish by asking her students to list nice
things about one another?
2. At least some students were surprised by the good things others wrote about
them. What does this tell us about how we see ourselves and how we commu-
nicate our views of others?
3. “All the Good Things” has literally traveled around the world. Not only has
it been reprinted in numerous publications, but many readers have sent it out
over the Internet for others to read. Why do you think so many people love this
story? Why do they want to share it with others?
About Structure 4. This selection is organized according to time. What three separate time periods
does it cover? What paragraphs are included in the fi rst time period? The sec-
ond? The third?
5. According to Vicki,
a. Mark was the only student to have saved his list.
b. Vicki and Mark were the only students to have saved their lists.
c. Vicki, Mark, Charlie, Chuck, and Marilyn were the only students to have
saved their lists.
d. all the students had saved their lists.
6. The author implies that
a. she was surprised to learn how much the lists had meant to her students.
b. Mark’s parents were jealous of his affection for Sister Helen.
c. Mark’s death shattered her faith in God.
d. Mark’s classmates had not stayed in touch with one another over the
years.
7. True or False? The author implies that Mark had gotten married.
8. We can conclude that when Sister Helen was a third-grade teacher, she
a. was usually short-tempered and irritable.
b. wasn’t always sure how to discipline her students.
c. didn’t expect Mark to do well in school.
d. had no sense of humor.
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5. Paragraph 8 includes a cause-and-effect structure. What part of the paragraph
is devoted to the cause? What part is devoted to the effect? What transition
word signals the break between the cause and the effect?
6. What does the title “All the Good Things” mean? Is this a good title for the
essay? Why or why not?
About Style and Tone 7. Sister Helen is willing to let her readers see her weaknesses as well as her
strengths. Find a place in the selection in which the author shows herself as
less than perfect.
8. What does Sister Helen accomplish by beginning her essay with the word
“he”? What does that unusual beginning tell the reader?
9. How does Sister Helen feel about her students? Find evidence that backs up
your opinion.
10. Sister Helen comments on Mark’s “happy-to-be-alive” attitude. What support
does she provide that makes us understand what Mark was like?
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Early in her story, Sister Helen refers to a “teacher’s mistake” that forced her to
punish a student in front of the class. Write a paragraph about a time you gave in
to pressure to do something because others around you expected it. Explain what
the situation was, what happened, and how you felt afterward. Here are two sample
topic sentences:
Even though I knew it was wrong, I went along with some friends who shoplifted at the mall.
Just because my friends did, I made fun of a kid in my study hall who was a slow learner.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Sister Helen Mrosla was teaching math when she deviated from her lesson plan,
seized the “teachable moment,” and had the students create the lists that they carried
with them through adulthood. Write a paragraph that defi nes the qualities of a good
teacher. You don’t have to limit your focus to a classroom teacher; instead, you could
expand your defi nition of a teacher to include parents, religious leaders, or even men-
tors at work. Start your paragraph with a topic sentence that has a persuasive tone
to it, so you can focus on convincing your reader that your defi nition is a valid one.
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554 Part 5 Readings for Writers
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay It’s easy to forget to let others know how much they have helped us. Only after one of
the students died did Sister Helen learn how important the list of positive comments
had been to her class. Write an essay about someone to whom you are grateful and
explain what that person has done for you. In your thesis statement, introduce the
person and describe his or her relationship to you. Also include a general state-
ment of what that person has done for you. Your thesis statement can be similar to
any of these:
My brother Roy has been an important part of my life.
My best friend Ginger helped me through a major crisis.
Mrs. Morrison, my seventh-grade English teacher, taught me a lesson for which I will always be grateful.
Use freewriting to help you fi nd interesting details to support your thesis
statement. You may fi nd two or three separate incidents to write about, each in a
paragraph of its own. Or you may fi nd it best to use several paragraphs to give a
detailed narrative of one incident or two or three related events. (Note how Sister
Helen uses several separate “scenes” to tell her story.) Whatever your approach,
use some dialogue to enliven key parts of your essay. (Review the reading to see
how Sister Helen uses dialogue throughout her essay.)
Alternatively, write an essay about three people to whom you are grateful. In
that case, each paragraph of the body of your essay would deal with one of those
people. The thesis statement in such an essay might be similar to this:
There are three people who have made a big difference in my life.
Rowing the Bus Paul Logan
PREVIEW
There is a well-known saying that goes something like this: All that is necessary in order for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing. Even young people are forced to
face cruel behavior and to decide how they will respond to it. In this essay, Paul Logan looks back at a period of schoolyard cruelty in which he was both a vic- tim and a participant. With unfl inching honesty, he describes his behavior then and how it helped to shape the person he has become.
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When I was in elementary school, some older kids made me row the bus. Row-
ing meant that on the way to school I had to sit in the dirty bus aisle littered with
paper, gum wads, and spitballs. Then I had to simulate* the motion of rowing while
the kids around me laughed and chanted, “Row, row, row the bus.” I was forced to
do this by a group of bullies who spent most of their time picking on me.
I was the perfect target for them. I was small. I had no father. And my mother,
though she worked hard to support me, was unable to afford clothes and sneakers
that were “cool.” Instead she dressed me in outfi ts that we got from “the bags”—
hand-me-downs given as donations to a local church.
Each Wednesday, she’d bring several bags of clothes to the house and pull out
musty, wrinkled shirts and worn bell-bottom pants that other families no longer
wanted. I knew that people were kind to give things to us, but I hated wearing
clothes that might have been donated by my classmates. Each time I wore some-
thing from the bags, I feared that the other kids might recognize something that
was once theirs.
Besides my outdated clothes, I wore thick glasses, had crossed eyes, and spoke
with a persistent lisp. For whatever reason, I had never learned to say the “s” sound
properly, and I pronounced words that began with “th” as if they began with a “d.”
In addition, because of my severely crossed eyes, I lacked the hand and eye coor-
dination necessary to hit or catch fl ying objects.
As a result, footballs, baseballs, soccer balls and basketballs became my en-
emies. I knew, before I stepped onto the fi eld or court, that I would do something
clumsy or foolish and that everyone would laugh at me. I feared humiliation so
much that I became skillful at feigning illnesses to get out of gym class. Eventu-
ally I learned how to give myself low-grade fevers so the nurse would write me an
excuse. It worked for a while, until the gym teachers caught on. When I did have
to play, I was always the last one chosen to be on any team. In fact, team captains
did everything in their power to make their opponents get stuck with me. When the
unlucky team captain was forced to call my name, I would trudge over to the team,
knowing that no one there liked or wanted me. For four years, from second through
fi fth grade, I prayed nightly for God to give me school days in which I would not
be insulted, embarrassed, or made to feel ashamed.
I thought my prayers were answered when my mother decided to move dur-
ing the summer before sixth grade. The move meant that I got to start sixth grade
in a different school, a place where I had no reputation. Although the older kids
laughed and snorted at me as soon as I got on my new bus—they couldn’t miss
my thick glasses and strange clothes—I soon discovered that there was another kid
who received the brunt of their insults. His name was George, and everyone made
fun of him. The kids taunted him because he was skinny; they belittled him be-
cause he had acne that pocked and blotched his face; and they teased him because
his voice was squeaky. During my fi rst gym class at my new school, I wasn’t the
last one chosen for kickball; George was.
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556 Part 5 Readings for Writers
George tried hard to be friends with me, coming up to me in the cafeteria on
the fi rst day of school. “Hi. My name’s George. Can I sit with you?” he asked with
a peculiar squeakiness that made each word high-pitched and raspy. As I nodded
for him to sit down, I noticed an uncomfortable silence in the cafeteria as many
of the students who had mocked George’s clumsy gait during gym class began
watching the two of us and whispering among themselves. By letting him sit with
me, I had violated an unspoken law of school, a sinister code of childhood that
demands there must always be someone to pick on. I began to realize two things. If
I befriended George, I would soon receive the same treatment that I had gotten at
my old school. If I stayed away from him, I might actually have a chance to escape
being at the bottom.
Within days, the kids started taunting us whenever we were together. “Who’s
your new little buddy, Georgie?” In the hallways, groups of students began mum-
bling about me just loud enough for me to hear, “Look, it’s George’s ugly boy-
friend.” On the bus rides to and from school, wads of paper and wet chewing gum
were tossed at me by the bigger, older kids in the back of the bus.
It became clear that my friendship with George was going to cause me sev-
eral more years of misery at my new school. I decided to stop being friends with
George. In class and at lunch, I spent less and less time with him. Sometimes I
told him I was too busy to talk; other times I acted distracted and gave one-word
responses to whatever he said. Our classmates, sensing that they had created a rift*
between George and me, intensifi ed their attacks on him. Each day, George grew
more desperate as he realized that the one person who could prevent him from being
completely isolated was closing him off. I knew that I shouldn’t avoid him, that he
was feeling the same way I felt for so long, but I was so afraid that my life would
become the hell it had been in my old school that I continued to ignore him.
Then, at recess one day, the meanest kid in the school, Chris, decided he had
had enough of George. He vowed that he was going to beat up George and anyone
else who claimed to be his friend. A mob of kids formed and came after me. Chris
led the way and cornered me near our school’s swing sets. He grabbed me by my
shirt and raised his fi st over my head. A huge gathering of kids surrounded us, urg-
ing him to beat me up, chanting “Go, Chris, go!”
“You’re Georgie’s new little boyfriend, aren’t you?” he yelled. The hot blast
of his breath carried droplets of his spit into my face. In a complete betrayal of the
only kid who was nice to me, I denied George’s friendship.
“No, I’m not George’s friend. I don’t like him. He’s stupid,” I blurted out. Sev-
eral kids snickered and mumbled under their breath. Chris stared at me for a few
seconds and then threw me to the ground.
“Wimp. Where’s George?” he demanded, standing over me. Someone pointed
to George sitting alone on top of the monkey bars about thirty yards from where
we were. He was watching me. Chris and his followers sprinted over to George and
yanked him off the bars to the ground. Although the mob quickly encircled them,
I could still see the two of them at the center of the crowd, looking at each other.
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George seemed stoic, staring straight through Chris. I heard the familiar chant of
“Go, Chris, go!” and watched as his fi sts began slamming into George’s head and
body. His face bloodied and his nose broken, George crumpled to the ground and
sobbed without even throwing a punch. The mob cheered with pleasure and darted
off into the playground to avoid an approaching teacher.
Chris was suspended, and after a few days, George came back to school. I
wanted to talk to him, to ask him how he was, to apologize for leaving him alone
and for not trying to stop him from getting hurt. But I couldn’t go near him. Filled
with shame for denying George and angered by my own cowardice, I never spoke
to him again.
Several months later, without telling any students, George transferred to an-
other school. Once in a while, in those last weeks before he left, I caught him
watching me as I sat with the rest of the kids in the cafeteria. He never yelled at me
or expressed anger, disappointment, or even sadness. Instead he just looked at me.
In the years that followed, George’s silent stare remained with me. It was there
in eighth grade when I saw a gang of popular kids beat up a sixth-grader because,
they said, he was “ugly and stupid.” It was there my fi rst year in high school, when
I saw a group of older kids steal another freshman’s clothes and throw them into
the showers. It was there a year later, when I watched several seniors press a wad
of chewing gum into the hair of a new girl on the bus. Each time that I witnessed
another awkward, uncomfortable, scared kid being tormented, I thought of George,
and gradually his haunting stare began to speak to me. No longer silent, it told me
that every child who is picked on and taunted deserves better, that no one—no mat-
ter how big, strong, attractive, or popular—has the right to abuse another person.
Finally, in my junior year when a loudmouthed, pink-skinned bully named
Donald began picking on two freshmen on the bus, I could no longer deny George.
Donald was crumpling a large wad of paper and preparing to bounce it off the back
of the head of one of the young students when I interrupted him.
“Leave them alone, Don,” I said. By then I was six inches taller and, after two
years of high-school wrestling, thirty pounds heavier than I had been in my fresh-
man year. Though Donald was still two years older than me, he wasn’t much big-
ger. He stopped what he was doing, squinted, and stared at me.
“What’s your problem, Paul?”
I felt the way I had many years earlier on the playground when I watched the
mob of kids begin to surround George.
“Just leave them alone. They aren’t bothering you,” I responded quietly.
“What’s it to you?” he challenged. A glimpse of my own past, of rowing the
bus, of being mocked for my clothes, my lisp, my glasses, and my absent father
fl ashed in my mind.
“Just don’t mess with them. That’s all I am saying, Don.” My fi ngertips were
tingling. The bus was silent. He got up from his seat and leaned over me, and I
rose from my seat to face him. For a minute, both of us just stood there, without a
word, staring.
14
15
16
17
18
19 20
21 22
23
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“I’m just playing with them, Paul,” he said, chuckling. “You don’t have to go
psycho on me or anything.” Then he shook his head, slapped me fi rmly on the chest
with the back of his hand, and sat down. But he never threw that wad of paper. For
the rest of the year, whenever I was on the bus, Don and the other troublemakers
were noticeably quiet.
Although it has been years since my days on the playground and the school bus,
George’s look still haunts me. Today, I see it on the faces of a few scared kids at my
sister’s school—she is in fi fth grade. Or once in a while I’ll catch a glimpse of some-
one like George on the evening news, in a story about a child who brought a gun to
school to stop the kids from picking on him, or in a feature about a teenager who killed
herself because everyone teased her. In each school, in almost every classroom, there
is a George with a stricken face, hoping that someone nearby will be strong enough to
be kind—despite what the crowd says—and brave enough to stand up against people
who attack, tease, or hurt those who are vulnerable.
If asked about their behavior, I’m sure the bullies would say, “What’s it to you?
It’s just a joke. It’s nothing.” But to George and me, and everyone else who has been
humiliated or laughed at or spat on, it is everything. No one should have to row the bus.
24
25
26
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word simulate in “Then I had to simulate the motion of rowing while the kids around me laughed and chanted, ‘Row, row, row the bus’” (paragraph 1) means
a. sing.
b. ignore.
c. imitate.
d. release.
2. The word rift in “I decided to stop being friends with George. . . . Our class- mates, sensing that they had created a rift between George and me, intensifi ed
their attacks on him” (paragraph 9) means
a. friendship.
b. agreement.
c. break.
d. joke.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. A Sixth-Grade Adventure
b. Children’s Fears
c. Dealing with Cruelty
d. The Trouble with Busing
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2. Which sentence best expresses the main idea of the selection?
a. Although Paul Logan was the target of other students’ abuse when he was
a young boy, their attacks stopped as he grew taller and stronger.
b. When Logan moved to a different school, he discovered that another stu-
dent, George, was the target of more bullying than he was.
c. Logan’s experience of being bullied and his shame at how he treated
George eventually made him speak up for someone else who was teased.
d. Logan is ashamed that he did not stand up for George when George was
being attacked by a bully on the playground.
3. When Chris attacked George, George reacted by
a. fi ghting back hard.
b. shouting for Logan to help him.
c. running away.
d. accepting the beating.
4. Logan fi nally found the courage to stand up for abused students when he saw
a. Donald about to throw paper at a younger student.
b. older kids throwing a freshman’s clothes into the shower.
c. seniors putting bubble gum in a new student’s hair.
d. a gang beating up a sixth-grader whom they disliked.
5. True or False? After Logan confronted Donald on the bus, Donald began picking on Logan as well.
6. True or False? The author suggests that his mother did not care very much about him.
7. The author implies that, when he started sixth grade at a new school,
a. he became fairly popular.
b. he decided to try out for athletic teams.
c. he was relieved to fi nd a kid who was more unpopular than he.
d. he was frequently beaten up.
8. We can conclude that
a. the kids who picked on George later regretted what they had done.
b. George and the author eventually talked together about their experience in
sixth grade.
c. the author thinks kids today are kinder than they were when he was in sixth
grade.
d. the author is a more compassionate person now because of his experience
with George.
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. Logan describes a number of incidents involving students’ cruelty to other stu-
dents. Find at least three such events. What do they seem to have in common?
Judging from such incidents, what purpose does cruel teasing seem to serve?
2. Throughout the essay, Paul Logan talks about cruel but ordinary school behav-
ior. But in paragraph 25, he briefl y mentions two extreme and tragic conse-
quences of such cruelty. What are those consequences, and why do you think
he introduces them? What is he implying?
About Structure 3. Below, write three time transitions Logan uses to advance his narration.
_
4. Logan describes the gradual change within him that fi nally results in his standing
up for a student who is being abused. Where in the narrative does Logan show
how internal changes may be taking place within him? Where in the narrative
does he show that his reaction to witnessing bullying has changed?
5. Paul Logan titled his selection “Rowing the Bus.” Yet very little of the essay
actually deals with the incident the title describes. Why do you think Logan
chose that title? In groups of two or three, come up with alternative titles and
discuss why they would or would not be effective.
About Style and Tone 6. Give examples of how Logan appeals to our senses in paragraphs 1–4.
Sight
Smell
Hearing
7. What is Logan’s attitude toward himself regarding his treatment of George? Find
three phrases that reveal his attitude and write them on a separate piece of paper.
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Logan writes, “ In each school, in almost every classroom, there is a George with a
stricken face.” Think of a person who fi lled the role of George in one of your classes.
Then write a descriptive paragraph about that person, explaining why he or she was
a target and what form the teasing took. Be sure to include a description of your own
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thoughts and actions regarding the student who was teased.
Your topic sentence might be something like one of these:
A girl in my fi fth-grade class was a lot like George in “Rowing the Bus.” Like Paul Logan, I suffered greatly in elementary school from being bullied.
Try to include details that appeal to two or three of the senses.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Paul Logan feared that his life at his new school would be
made miserable if he continued being friends with George.
So he ended the friendship, even though he felt ashamed
of doing so. Think of a time when you have wanted to do
the right thing but felt that the price would be too high.
Maybe you knew a friend was doing something dishon-
est and wanted him to stop but were afraid of losing his
friendship. Or perhaps you pretended to forget a promise
you had made because you decided it was too diffi cult to
keep. Write a paragraph describing the choice you made
and how you felt about yourself afterward.
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Logan provides many vivid descriptions of incidents in
which bullies attack other students. Reread these descriptions, and consider what they
teach you about the nature of bullies and bullying. Then write an essay that supports
the following main idea:
Bullies seem to share certain qualities.
Identify two or three qualities; then discuss each in a separate paragraph. You may
use two or three of the following as the topic sentences for your supporting para-
graphs, or come up with your own supporting points:
Bullies are cowardly.
Bullies make themselves feel big by making other people feel small.
Bullies cannot feel very good about themselves.
Bullies are feared but not respected.
Bullies act cruelly in order to get attention.
Develop each supporting point with one or more anecdotes or ideas from any of the
following: your own experience, your understanding of human nature, and “Row-
ing the Bus.”
LOGAN’S ESSAY FOCUSES ON what happens to kids who are picked on and ostracized. This photo, however, shows what it is like when a child belongs and has a friend. Write a paragraph explaining how schools and parents can work together to create more positive environments that encourage friendship and belonging.
would be
dents in
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562 Part 5 Readings for Writers
“Extra Large,” Please Diane Urbina
PREVIEW
Why are so many kids today overweight or even obese? According to Diane Urbina, the number-one culprit is junk food, which is available anytime, anywhere—and in ever-increasing portion sizes. Urbina argues that schools, fast-food restaurants, and the media have a responsibility to raise awareness about nutrition and save people of all ages from a public-health disaster.
School lunches have always come in for criticism. When I was a kid, we com-
plained about “mystery meat” and “leftover surprise casserole.” Half a canned pear
in a shaky nest of Jell-O didn’t do much to excite our tastebuds. I hid my share of
limp green beans under my napkin, the better to escape the eagle eye of lunchroom
monitors who encouraged us to eat our soggy, overcooked vegetables.
But the cafeteria lunches were there, and so we ate them. (Most of them. OK, I
hid the gooey tapioca pudding, too.) I think we accepted the idea that being delicious
was not the point. The meals were reasonably nutritious and they fueled our young
bodies for the mental and physical demands of the day. In my case, that demand in-
cluded walking a quarter-mile to and from school, enjoying three recesses a day, and
taking part in gym class a couple of times a week. After-school hours, at least when
the weather was good, were spent outdoors playing kickball or tag with neighbor kids.
I can imagine you wondering, “Who cares?” I don’t blame you. My memories
of schooldays in northern Indiana thirty-some years ago aren’t all that fascinating
even to me. And yet I think you should care, because of one fact I haven’t men-
tioned yet. When I was a kid and looked around at other kids my age, I saw all
kinds of differences. There were tall ones and short ones and black and white and
brown ones, rude ones and polite ones, popular ones and geeky ones, athletic ones
and uncoordinated ones. But you know what? There weren’t many heavy ones.
The few there were stood out because they were unusual. I think that if you had
asked me at the time, I would have told you that kids are just naturally skinny.
Flash forward to the present. Walk down any city street in America. Sit in a mall
and watch the people stream by. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to notice
something’s changed. Whether you call them big-boned, chubby, husky, or plus-
sized, kids are heavy, lots of them. If your own eyes don’t convince you, here are
the statistics: Since 1980, the number of American kids who are dangerously over-
weight has tripled. More than 16 percent of our children—that’s 1 in 6—qualify as
“obese.” Hordes* of them are developing diet-related diabetes, a disease that used
to be seen almost always in adults. When California’s students grades 5 through 12
were given a basic fi tness test, almost 8 out of 10 failed.
1
2
3
4
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Part of the problem is that many kids don’t have good opportunities to exer-
cise. They live in neighborhoods without sidewalks or paths where they can walk,
bike, or skate safely. Drug activity and violent crime may make playing outside
dangerous. They can reach their schools only by car or bus. Many of those schools
are so short of money they’ve scrapped their physical-fi tness classes. Too few com-
munities have athletic programs in place.
Electronic entertainment also plays a role in the current state of affairs. Kids
used to go outside to play with other kids because it was more fun than sitting around
the house. Today, kids who sit around the house have access to dozens of cable TV
channels, the Internet, DVD players, and a dizzying assortment of video games.
Still another cause is the lack of parental supervision. When I was a kid, most
of us had a mom or an older sibling at home telling us to get off our butts and go
outside. (The alternative was often to stay inside and do chores. We chose to go out
and play.) Now, most American families have two working parents. For most of
the daylight hours, those parents just aren’t around to encourage their kids to get
some exercise. A related problem is that parents who can’t be home much may feel
guilty about it. One way of relieving that guilt is to buy Junior the game system of
his dreams and a nice wide-screen TV to play it on.
These are all complicated* problems whose solutions are equally complicated.
But there is one cause of the fattening of America’s kids that can be dealt with
more easily. And that cause is the enormous infl uence that fast-food restaurants
and other sources of calorie-laden junk have gained over America’s kids.
I’m no health nut. I like an occasional Quarter Pounder as well as the next
mom. There is no quicker way to my kids’ hearts than to bring home a newly re-
leased DVD, a large pepperoni pie and a bag of Chicken McNuggets. But in our
home, an evening featuring extra mozzarella and bottles of 7-Up is a once-in-a-
while treat—sort of a guilty pleasure.
To many of today’s kids, fast food is not a treat—it’s their daily diet. Their nor-
mal dinnertime equals McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Burger King, Taco Bell,
or Kentucky Fried Chicken, all washed down with Pepsi. And increasingly, lunch-
time at school means those foods too. About 20 percent of our nation’s schools
have sold chain restaurants the right to put their food items on the lunch line. Many
schools also allow candy and soft-drink vending machines on their campuses. The
National Soft Drink Association reports that 60 percent of public and private mid-
dle schools and high schools make sodas available for purchase.
Believe me, when I was a kid, if the lunchline had offered me a couple of slices
of double-crust stuffed pepperoni-sausage pizza instead of a Turkey Submarine, I
would have said yes before you could say the words “clogged arteries.” And when
I needed a mid-afternoon pick-me-up, I would have gladly traded a handful of
change for a Coke and a Snickers bar.
And then I would have gone back into algebra class and spent the hour bounc-
ing between a sugar high and a fat-induced coma.
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
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564 Part 5 Readings for Writers
Stopping off at Taco Bell for an occasional Seven-Layer Burrito is one thing.
But when fast foods become the staple of young people’s diets, it’s the kids who
become Whoppers. And it has become the staple for many. According to research-
ers at Children’s Hospital Boston, during any given week, three out of four chil-
dren eat a fast-food meal one or more times a day. The beverages they chug down
are a problem, too. The U.S. Department of Agriculture says that every day, the
average adolescent drinks enough soda and fruit beverages to equal the sugar con-
tent of 50 chocolate-chip cookies.
The problem isn’t only that burgers, fries, and sodas aren’t nutritious to begin
with—although they aren’t. What has made the situation much worse is the increas-
ingly huge portions sold by fast-food restaurants. Back when McDonald’s began
business, its standard meal consisted of a hamburger, two ounces of French fries,
and a 12-ounce Coke. That meal provided 590 calories. But today’s customers
don’t have to be satisfi ed with such modest portions. For very little more money,
diners can end up with a quarter-pound burger, extra-large fries, and extra-large
cup of Coke that add up to 1,550 calories. A whole generation of kids is growing
up believing that this massive shot of fat, sugar, and sodium equals a “normal por-
tion.” As a result, they’re becoming extra large themselves.
As kids sit down to watch the after-school and Saturday-morning shows designed
for them, they aren’t just taking in the programs themselves. They’re seeing at least
an hour of commercials for every fi ve hours of programming. On Saturday mornings,
nine out of 10 of those commercials are for sugary cereals, fast foods, and other non-
nutritious junk. Many of the commercials are tied in with popular toys or beloved
cartoon characters or movies
aimed at children. Watching
those commercials makes the
kids hungry—or at least they
think they’re hungry. (Thanks
to all the factors mentioned
here, many children can no
longer tell if they’re genuinely
hungry or not. They’ve been
programmed to eat for many
reasons other than hunger.) So
they snack as they sit in front
of the TV set. Then at meal-
time, they beg to go out for
more junk food. And they get
bigger, and bigger, and bigger.
There is no overnight
solution to the problem of
American children’s increas-
ing weight and decreasing
13
14
15
16IN WHAT WAYS DOES THIS PRODUCT REFLECT THE PROBLEMS that Urbina discusses? Write a paragraph that argues the pros and cons of such products. Use the points Urbina makes in her essay as well as your own reasons to support your argument.
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level of physical fi tness. But can anything be done? To begin with, fast-food meals
and junk-food vending machines should be banned from schools. Our education
system should be helping children acquire good nutritional habits, not assisting
them in committing slow nutritional suicide.
In addition, commercials for junk food should be banned from TV during chil-
dren’s viewing time, specifi cally Saturday mornings.
And fi nally, fast-food restaurants should be required to do what tobacco
companies—another manufacturer of products known to harm people’s health—
have to do. They should display in their restaurants, and in their TV and print ads
as well, clear nutritional information about their products. For instance, a young
woman at Burger King who was considering ordering a Double Whopper with
Cheese, a king-size order of fries and a king-size Dr. Pepper could read something
like this:
Your meal will provide 2030 calories, 860 of those calories from fat. Your recommended daily intake is 2000 calories, with no more than 600 of
those calories coming from fat. At a glance, then, the customer could see that in one fast-food meal, she was
taking in more calories and fat than she should consume in an entire day.
Overweight kids today become overweight adults tomorrow. Overweight
adults are at increased risk for heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and cancer. Schools,
fast-food restaurants, and the media are contributing to a public-health disaster in
the making. Anything that can be done to decrease the role junk food plays in kids’
lives needs to be done, and done quickly.
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word hordes in “More than 16 percent of our children—that’s 1 in 6— qualify as ‘obese.’ Hordes of them are developing diet-related diabetes, a dis-
ease that used to be seen almost always in adults” (paragraph 4) means
a. few.
b. many.
c. hardly any.
d. a handful.
2. The word complicated in “These are all complicated problems whose solu- tions are equally complicated” (paragraph 8) means
a. simple.
b. interesting.
c. complex.
d. easy.
17
18
19 20
21
22
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566 Part 5 Readings for Writers
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. Healthy School Lunches
b. Solving Childhood Obesity
c. The Dangers of Childhood Obesity
d. Too Much of a Junk Thing
2. Which sentence best expresses the central idea of the selection?
a. Electronic entertainment is responsible for childhood obesity.
b. More physical-fi tness classes are needed to solve childhood obesity.
c. We need to reduce the role that junk food plays in children’s lives and help
children acquire good nutritional habits.
d. School lunches are much more nutritious than junk food.
3. According to the author, which of the following does not contribute to child- hood obesity?
a. Electronic entertainment
b. Fewer opportunities to exercise
c. Occasional fast-food treats
d. Lack of parental supervision
4. True or False? Today, 1 in 6 children in America qualifi es as “obese.”
5. The author argues that fast-food restaurant chains should be required to
a. provide nutritional information about their products.
b. reduce the portion sizes of their products.
c. use healthier ingredients in their products.
d. reduce the amount of saturated fats contained in their products.
6. Many public and private middle schools and high schools
a. provide students with healthy lunch options.
b. refuse to allow candy vending machines on their campuses.
c. make soft drinks available for purchase.
d. refuse to offer items from fast-food restaurant chains.
7. From the article, we can infer that the author
a. believes her readers are genuinely concerned about her topic.
b. is trying to convince her readers about the importance of her topic.
c. is trying to encourage her readers to lobby for school lunch reform.
d. believes that the solution to childhood obesity is simple.
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8. When the author suggests that fast-food restaurants should be required to dis-
play nutritional information about their products, she is assuming that
a. many of the items will exceed the recommended daily intake of calories.
b. the tobacco companies will also display information about their products.
c. fast-food restaurants will feel pressured to offer healthier menu items.
d. people will then choose to eat more wisely.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. In paragraph 3, the author says to her readers, “I can imagine you wondering,
‘Who cares?’” Does she blame her readers? Why does she think they should care?
2. Do you feel that the author’s solutions in paragraphs 16–18 will solve “the
problem of American children’s increasing weight and decreasing level of
physical fi tness”? With a partner, discuss what other solutions are needed to
counteract this problem.
3. How might the author revise her essay to appeal directly to children and teen-
agers? What might she say to them? What might convince them to change their
eating habits?
About Structure 4. What patterns of development does the author use in her essay? Explain.
5. The author uses addition words to signal added ideas. Locate and write three of these words:
6. The author uses the fi rst-person approach, which relies on her own experi-
ences. Do you feel that she is credible? What details does she include in her
essay to convince us of her trustworthiness?
About Style and Tone 7. In paragraph 1, the author recounts her experiences eating school lunches. She
could have simply written, “I ate casseroles, canned fruits, and cooked vegeta-
bles.” Instead she writes, “Half a canned pear in a shaky nest of Jell-O didn’t
do much to excite our tastebuds. I hid my share of limp green beans under my
napkin, the better to escape the eagle eye of lunchroom monitors who encour-
aged us to eat our soggy, overcooked vegetables.” Why do you think she pro-
vides such vivid details? What is the effect on her readers?
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568 Part 5 Readings for Writers
8. The author uses statistics as well as personal experiences. Find three places in
the selection where statistics are cited:
Paragraph
Paragraph
Paragraph
What do statistics accomplish that anecdotes cannot?
9. What are a few words that the author would probably use to describe the peo-
ple who are responsible for fast-food marketing? Find evidence in the selec-
tion to support your opinion.
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Diane Urbina discusses why 1 in 6 children in our country is considered obese.
Choose one of the problems she identifi es, such as lack of opportunities for chil-
dren to exercise, and write a paragraph in which you discuss what could be done
to help solve the problem. Following are a few possible topic sentences for this
assignment:
Children would have more opportunities to exercise if the government would allocate funds to build playgrounds, fi elds, and basketball courts.
Parents should spend time with their children doing physical activities, such as riding bikes, going for hikes, or swimming at the neighborhood pool.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph What did you learn from the selection, or what do you already know, about obesity
that might infl uence your own future? Write a paragraph in which you list three or
four ways in which you could minimize or avoid some of the problems often faced
by those struggling with their weight. For instance, you may decide to do whatever
you can to remain as healthy as possible throughout your life. That might involve
taking daily walks, eating less junk food, and cooking more nutritious meals. Your
topic sentence might simply be “There are three important ways in which I hope to
avoid some of the problems often faced by those struggling with obesity.”
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Diane Urbina offers several suggestions to address the obesity problem in chil-
dren. Recently, many cities have started writing laws that require restaurants to
post the nutrition facts on the menu or menu board. Other cities have tried to pass
laws limiting the portion sizes of foods and beverages being sold in restaurants.
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City offi cials have often cited the growing obesity problem as a reason to require
making this information more public. One argument against these laws is that it
hurts sales, thus cutting into restaurants’ profi ts. Write an essay either supporting
or arguing against such laws. You may need to do some research about proposed
and current laws before you are able to write a persuasive paper with good support.
Remember if you use any information from your research, either direct quotes or
general ideas, you need to tell your reader where the information originates.
What Good Families Are Doing Right Dolores Curran
PREVIEW
It isn’t easy to be a successful parent these days. Pressured by the confl icting demands of home and workplace, confused by changing moral standards, and drowned out by the constant barrage of new media, today’s parents seem to be facing impossible odds in their struggle to raise healthy families. Yet some parents manage to “do it all”—and even remain on speaking terms with their children. How do they do it? Dolores Curran’s survey offers some signifi cant sug- gestions; her article could serve as a recipe for a successful family.
I have worked with families for fi fteen years, conducting hundreds of semi-
nars, workshops, and classes on parenting, and I meet good families all the time.
They’re fairly easy to recognize. Good families have a kind of visible strength. They
expect problems and work together to fi nd solutions, applying common sense and
trying new methods to meet new needs. And they share a common shortcoming—
they can tell me in a minute what’s wrong with them, but they aren’t sure what’s
right with them. Many healthy families with whom I work, in fact, protest at
being called healthy. They don’t think they are. The professionals who work with them do.
To prepare the book on which this article is based, I asked respected workers in
the fi elds of education, religion, health, family counseling, and voluntary organiza-
tions to identify a list of possible traits of a healthy family. Together we isolated
fi fty-six such traits, and I sent this list to fi ve hundred professionals who regularly
work with families—teachers, doctors, principals, members of the clergy, scout
directors, YMCA leaders, family counselors, social workers—asking them to pick
the fi fteen qualities they most commonly found in healthy families.
While all of these traits are important, the one most often cited as central to
close family life is communication: The healthy family knows how to talk—and
how to listen.
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“Without communication you don’t know one another,” wrote one family
counselor. “If you don’t know one another, you don’t care about one another, and
that’s what the family is all about.”
“The most familiar complaint I hear from wives I counsel is ‘He won’t talk to
me’ and ‘He doesn’t listen to me,’” said a pastoral marriage counselor. “And when
I share this complaint with their husbands, they don’t hear me, either.” “We have kids in classes whose families are so robotized by television that
they don’t know one another,” said a fi fth-grade teacher.
Professional counselors are not the only ones to recognize the need. The phe-
nomenal growth of communication groups such as Parent Effectiveness Training,
Parent Awareness, Marriage Encounter, Couple Communication, and literally hun-
dreds of others tells us that the need for effective communication—the sharing of
deepest feelings—is felt by many.
Healthy families have also recognized this need, and they have, either instinc-
tively or consciously, developed methods of meeting it. They know that confl icts
are to be expected, that we all become angry and frustrated and discouraged. And
they know how to reveal those feelings—good and bad—to each other. Honest
communication isn’t always easy. But when it’s working well, there are certain
recognizable signs or symptoms, what I call the hallmarks of the successfully com-
municating family.
Th e Family Exhibits a Strong Relationship between the Parents According to Dr. Jerry M. Lewis—author of a signifi cant work on families, No Single Thread—healthy spouses complement, rather than dominate, each other. Either husband or wife could be the leader, depending on the circumstances. In the
unhealthy families he studied, the dominant spouse had to hide feelings of weak-
ness while the submissive spouse feared being put down if he or she exposed a
weakness.
Children in the healthy family have no question about which parent is boss.
Both parents are. If children are asked who is boss, they’re likely to respond,
“Sometimes Mom, sometimes Dad.” And, in a wonderful statement, Dr. Lewis
adds, “If you ask if they’re comfortable with this, they look at you as if you’re
crazy—as if there’s no other way it ought to be.”
My survey respondents echo Dr. Lewis. One wrote, “The healthiest families I
know are ones in which the mother and father have a strong, loving relationship.
This seems to fl ow over to the children and even beyond the home. It seems to
breed security in the children and, in turn, fosters the ability to take risks, to reach
out to others, to search for their own answers, become independent and develop a
good self-image.”
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Th e Family Has Control over Television Television has been maligned, praised, damned, cherished, and even thrown out.
It has more infl uence on children’s values than anything else except their parents.
Over and over, when I’m invited to help families mend their communication rup-
tures, I hear “But we have no time for this.” These families have literally turned
their “family-together” time over to television. Even those who control the quality
of programs watched and set “homework-fi rst” regulations feel reluctant to intrude
upon the individual’s right to spend his or her spare time in front of the set. Many
families avoid clashes over program selection by furnishing a set for each family
member. One of the women who was most desperate to establish a better sense of
communication in her family confi ded to me that they owned nine sets. Nine sets
for seven people!
Whether the breakdown in family communication leads to excessive viewing
or whether too much television breaks into family lives, we don’t know. But we do
know that we can become out of one another’s reach when we’re in front of a TV
set. The term television widow is not humorous to thousands whose spouses are absent even when they’re there. One woman remarked, “I can’t get worried about
whether there’s life after death. I’d be satisfi ed with life after dinner.”
In family-communication workshops, I ask families to make a list of phrases
they most commonly hear in their home. One parent was aghast* to discover that
his family’s most familiar comments were “What’s on?” and “Move.” In families
like this one, communication isn’t hostile—it’s just missing.
But television doesn’t have to be a villain. A 1980 Gallup Poll found that the
public sees great potential for television as a positive force. It can be a tremendous
device for initiating discussion on subjects that may not come up elsewhere, sub-
jects such as sexuality, corporate ethics, sportsmanship, and marital fi delity.
Even very bad programs offer material for values clarifi cation if family mem-
bers view them together. My sixteen-year-old son and his father recently watched
a program in which hazardous driving was part of the hero’s characterization. At
one point, my son turned to his dad and asked, “Is that possible to do with that kind
of truck?”
“I don’t know,” replied my husband, “but it sure is dumb. If that load shifted
. . .” With that, they launched into a discussion on the responsibility of drivers
that didn’t have to originate as a parental lecture. Furthermore, as the discussion
became more engrossing* to them, they turned the sound down so that they could
continue their conversation.
Parents frequently report similar experiences; in fact, this use of television was
recommended in the widely publicized 1972 Surgeon General’s report as the most
effective form of television gatekeeping by parents. Instead of turning off the set,
parents should view programs with their children and make moral judgments and
initiate discussion. Talking about the problems and attitudes of a TV family can be
a lively, nonthreatening way to risk sharing real fears, hopes, and dreams.
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Th e Family Listens and Responds “My parents say they want me to come to them with problems, but when I do, either
they’re busy or they only half-listen and keep on doing what they were doing—like
shaving or making a grocery list. If a friend of theirs came over to talk, they’d
stop, be polite, and listen,” said one of the children quoted in a Christian Science Monitor interview by Ann McCarroll. This child put his fi nger on the most diffi cult problem of communicating in families: the inability to listen.
It is usually easier to react than to respond. When we react, we refl ect our own
experiences and feelings; when we respond, we get into the other person’s feelings.
For example:
Tom, age seventeen: “I don’t know if I want to go to college. I don’t think I’d do very well there.”
Father: “Nonsense. Of course you’ll do well.”
That’s reacting. This father is cutting off communication. He’s refusing either
to hear the boy’s fears or to consider his feelings, possibly because he can’t accept
the idea that his son might not attend college. Here’s another way of handling the
same situation:
Tom: “I don’t know if I want to go to college. I don’t think I’d do very well there.”
Father: “Why not?”
Tom: “Because I’m not that smart.”
Father: “Yeah, that’s scary. I worried about that, too.”
Tom: “Did you ever come close to fl unking out?”
Father: “No, but I worried a lot before I went because I thought college would be full of brains. Once I got there, I found out that most of the kids were just
like me.”
This father has responded rather than reacted to his son’s fears. First, he
searched for the reason behind his son’s lack of confi dence and found it was fear of
academic ability (it could have been fear of leaving home, of a new environment,
of peer pressure, or of any of a number of things); second, he accepted the fear as
legitimate; third, he empathized by admitting to having the same fear when he was
Tom’s age; and, fi nally, he explained why his, not Tom’s, fears turned out to be
groundless. He did all this without denigrating or lecturing.
And that’s tough for parents to do. Often we don’t want to hear our children’s
fears, because those fears frighten us; or we don’t want to pay attention to their dreams
because their dreams aren’t what we have in mind for them. Parents who deny such
feelings will allow only surface conversation. It’s fi ne as long as a child says, “School
was OK today,” but when she says, “I’m scared of boys,” the parents are uncomfort-
able. They don’t want her to be afraid of boys, but since they don’t quite know what
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to say, they react with a pleasant “Oh, you’ll outgrow it.” She probably will, but what
she needs at the moment is someone to hear and understand her pain.
In Ann McCarroll’s interviews, she talked to one fi fteen-year-old boy who said
he had “some mother. Each morning she sits with me while I eat breakfast. We talk about anything and everything. She isn’t refi ned or elegant or educated. She’s a
terrible housekeeper. But she’s interested in everything I do, and she always listens
to me—even if she’s busy or tired.”
That’s the kind of listening found in families that experience real communica-
tion. Answers to the routine question “How was your day?” are heard with the eyes
and heart as well as the ears. Nuances are picked up and questions are asked, al-
though problems are not necessarily solved. Members of a family who really listen
to one another instinctively know that if people listen to you, they are interested in
you. And that’s enough for most of us.
Th e Family Recognizes Unspoken Messages Much of our communication—especially our communication of feelings—is non-
verbal. Dr. Lewis defi nes empathy as “someone responding to you in such a way that you feel deeply understood.” He says, “There is probably no more important
dimension in all of human relationships than the capacity for empathy. And healthy
families teach empathy.” Their members are allowed to be mad, glad, and sad.
There’s no crime in being in a bad mood, nor is there betrayal in being happy while
someone else is feeling moody. The family recognizes that bad days and good days
attack everyone at different times.
Nonverbal expressions of love, too, are the best way to show children that par-
ents love each other. A spouse reaching for the other’s hand, a wink, a squeeze on
the shoulder, a “How’s-your-back-this-morning?” a meaningful glance across the
room—all these tell children how their parents feel about each other.
The most destructive nonverbal communication in marriage is silence. Silence
can mean lack of interest, hostility, denigration, boredom, or outright war. On the
part of a teen or preteen, silence usually indicates pain, sometimes very deep pain.
The sad irony discovered by so many family therapists is that parents who seek
professional help when a teenager becomes silent have often denied the child any
other way of communicating. And although they won’t permit their children to
become angry or to reveal doubts or to share depression, they do worry about the
withdrawal that results. Rarely do they see any connection between the two.
Healthy families use signs, symbols, body language, smiles, and other gestures
to express caring and love. They deal with silence and withdrawal in a positive,
open way. Communication doesn’t mean just talking or listening; it includes all the
clues to a person’s feelings—his bearing, her expression, their resignation. Family
members don’t have to say, “I’m hurting,” or, “I’m in need.” A quick glance tells
that. And they have developed ways of responding that indicate caring and love,
whether or not there’s an immediate solution to the pain.
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Th e Family Encourages Individual Feelings and Independent Th inking Close families encourage the emergence of individual personalities through open
sharing of thoughts and feelings. Unhealthy families tend to be less open, less
accepting of differences among members. The family must be Republican, or
Bronco supporters, or gun-control advocates, and woe to the individual who says,
“Yes, but . . . .”
Instead of fi nding differing opinions threatening, the healthy family fi nds them
exhilarating. It is exciting to witness such a family discussing politics, sports, or
the world. Members freely say, “I don’t agree with you,” without risking ridicule
or rebuke. They say, “I think it’s wrong . . .” immediately after Dad says, “I think
it’s right . . .”; and Dad listens and responds.
Give-and-take gives children practice in articulating their thoughts at home
so that eventually they’ll feel confi dent outside the home. What may seem to be
verbal rambling by preteens during a family conversation is a prelude to sorting out
their thinking and putting words to their thoughts.
Rigid families don’t understand the dynamics of give-and-take. Some label it
disrespectful and argumentative; others fi nd it confusing. Dr. John Meeks, medi-
cal director of the Psychiatric Institute of Montgomery County, Maryland, claims
that argument is a way of life with normally developing adolescents. “In early
adolescence they’ll argue with parents about anything at all; as they grow older,
the quantity of argument decreases but the quality increases.” According to Dr.
Meeks, arguing is something adolescents need to do. If the argument doesn’t be-
come too bitter, they have a good chance to test their own beliefs and feelings.
“Incidentally,” says Meeks, “parents can expect to ‘lose’ most of these arguments,
because adolescents are not fettered by logic or even reality.” Nor are they likely
to be polite. Learning how to disagree respectfully is a diffi cult task, but good
families work at it.
Encouraging individual feelings and thoughts, of course, in no way presumes
that parents permit their children to do whatever they want. There’s a great differ-
ence between permitting a son to express an opinion on marijuana and allowing
him to use it. That his opinion confl icts with his parents’ opinion is OK as long as
his parents make sure he knows their thinking on the subject. Whether he admits it
or not, he’s likely at least to consider their ideas if he respects them.
Permitting teenagers to sort out their feelings and thoughts in open discus-
sions at home gives them valuable experience in dealing with a bewildering array
of situations they may encounter when they leave home. Cutting off discussion of
behavior unacceptable to us, on the other hand, makes our young people feel guilty
for even thinking about values contrary to ours and ends up making those values
more attractive to them.
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Th e Family Recognizes Turn-Off Words and Put-Down Phrases Some families deliberately use hurtful language in their daily communication.
“What did you do all day around here?” can be a red fl ag to a woman who has
spent her day on household tasks that don’t show unless they’re not done. “If only
we had enough money” can be a rebuke to a husband who is working as hard as
he can to provide for the family. “Flunk any tests today, John?” only discourages a
child who may be having trouble in school.
Close families seem to recognize that a comment made in jest can be insulting.
A father in one of my groups confi ded that he could tease his wife about everything
but her skiing. “I don’t know why she’s so sensitive about that, but I back off on it.
I can say anything I want to about her cooking, her appearance, her mothering—
whatever. But not her skiing.”
One of my favorite exercises with families is to ask them to refl ect upon phrases
they most like to hear and those they least like to hear. Recently, I invited seventy-
fi ve fourth- and fi fth-graders to submit the words they most like to hear from their
mothers. Here are the fi ve big winners:
“I love you.”
“Yes.”
“Time to eat.”
“You can go.”
“You can stay up late.”
And on the children’s list of what they least like to hear from one another are
the following:
“I’m telling.”
“Mom says!”
“I know something you don’t know.”
“You think you’re so big.”
“Just see if I ever let you use my bike again.”
It can be worthwhile for a family to list the phrases members like most and
least to hear, and post them. Often parents aren’t even aware of the reaction of their
children to certain routine comments. Or keep a record of the comments heard
most often over a period of a week or two. It can provide good clues to the level of
family sensitivity. If the list has a lot of “shut ups” and “stop its,” that family needs
to pay more attention to its relationships, especially the role that communication
plays in them.
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Th e Family Interrupts, but Equally When Dr. Jerry M. Lewis began to study the healthy family, he and his staff video-
taped families in the process of problem solving. The family was given a question,
such as “What’s the main thing wrong with your family?” Answers varied, but
what was most signifi cant was what the family actually did: who took control, how
individuals responded or reacted, what were the put-downs, and whether some
members were entitled to speak more than others.
The researchers found that healthy families expected everyone to speak openly
about feelings. Nobody was urged to hold back. In addition, these family members
interrupted one another repeatedly, but no one person was interrupted more than
anyone else.
Manners, particularly polite conversational techniques, are not hallmarks of
the communicating family. This should make many parents feel better about their
family’s dinner conversation. One father reported to me that at their table people
had to take a number to fi nish a sentence. Finishing sentences, however, doesn’t
seem all that important in the communicating family. Members aren’t sensitive to
being interrupted, either. The intensity and spontaneity of the exchange are more
important than propriety in conversation.
Th e Family Develops a Pattern of Reconciliation “We know how to break up,” one man said, “but who ever teaches us to make up?”
Survey respondents indicated that there is indeed a pattern of reconciliation in
healthy families that is missing in others. “It usually isn’t a kiss-and-make-up situ-
ation,” explained one family therapist, “but there are certain rituals developed over
a long period of time that indicate it’s time to get well again. Between husband and
wife, it might be a concessionary phrase to which the other is expected to respond
in kind. Within a family, it might be that the person who stomps off to his or her
room voluntarily reenters the family circle, where something is said to make him
or her welcome.”
When I asked several families how they knew a fi ght had ended, I got re-
markably similar answers from individuals questioned separately. “We all come
out of our rooms,” responded every member of one family. Three members of
another family said, “Mom says, ‘Anybody want a Pepsi?’ ” One fi ve-year-old
scratched his head and furrowed his forehead after I asked him how he knew the
family fi ght was over. Finally, he said, “Well, Daddy gives a great big yawn and
says, ‘Well . . .’ ” This scene is easy to visualize, as one parent decides that the
unpleasantness needs to end and it’s time to end the fi ghting and to pull together
again as a family.
Why have we neglected the important art of reconciling? “Because we have
pretended that good families don’t fi ght,” says one therapist. “They do. It’s essen-
tial to fi ght for good health in the family. It gets things out into the open. But we
need to learn to put ourselves back together—and many families never learn this.”
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Close families know how to time divisive and emotional issues that may cause
friction. They don’t bring up potentially explosive subjects right before they go
out, for example, or before bedtime. They tend to schedule discussions rather than
allow a matter to explode, and thus they keep a large measure of control over
the atmosphere in which they will fi ght and reconcile. Good families know that
they need enough time to discuss issues heatedly, rationally, and completely—
and enough time to reconcile. “You’ve got to solve it right there,” said one father.
“Don’t let it go on and on. It just causes more problems. Then when it’s solved, let
it be. No nagging, no remembering.”
Th e Family Fosters Table Time and Conversation Traditionally, the dinner table has been a symbol of socialization. It’s probably the
one time each day that parents and children are assured of uninterrupted time with
one another.
Therapists frequently call upon a patient’s memory of the family table during
childhood in order to determine the degree of communication and interaction there
was in the patient’s early life. Some patients recall nothing. Mealtime was either
so unpleasant or so unimpressive that they have blocked it out of their memories.
Therapists say that there is a relationship between the love in a home and life
around the family table. It is to the table that love or discord eventually comes.
But we are spending less table time together. Fast-food dining, even within the
home, is becoming a way of life for too many of us. Work schedules, individual
organized activities, and television all limit the quantity and quality of mealtime
interaction. In an informal study conducted by a church group, 68 percent of the
families interviewed in three congregations saw nothing wrong with watching tele-
vision while eating.
Families who do a good job of communicating tend to make the dinner meal
an important part of their day. A number of respondents indicated that adults in
the healthiest families refuse dinner business meetings as a matter of principle and
discourage their children from sports activities that cut into mealtime hours. “We
know which of our swimmers will or won’t practice at dinnertime,” said a coach,
with mixed admiration. “Some parents never allow their children to miss dinners.
Some don’t care at all.” These families pay close attention to the number of times
they’ll be able to be together in a week, and they rearrange schedules to be sure of
spending this time together.
The family that wants to improve communication should look closely at its at-
titudes toward the family table. Are family table time and conversation important? Is
table time open and friendly or warlike and sullen? Is it conducive to sharing more
than food—does it encourage the sharing of ideas, feelings, and family intimacies?
We all need to talk to one another. We need to know we’re loved and appreci-
ated and respected. We want to share our intimacies, not just physical intimacies
but all the intimacies in our lives. Communication is the most important element
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of family life because it is basic to loving relationships. It is the energy that fuels
the caring, giving, sharing, and affi rming. Without genuine sharing of ourselves, we
cannot know one another’s needs and fears. Good communication is what makes all
the rest of it work.
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word aghast in “One parent was aghast to discover that his family’s most familiar comments were ‘What’s on?’ and ‘Move’” (paragraph 14) means
a. horrifi ed.
b. satisfi ed.
c. curious.
d. amused.
2. The word engrossing in “as the discussion became more engrossing to them, they turned the sound down so that they could continue their conversation”
(paragraph 17) means
a. disgusting.
b. intellectual.
c. foolish.
d. interesting.
BASED ON THE TRAITS THAT CURRAN DESCRIBES IN HER ESSAY, IS EITHER OF THE FAMILIES pictured here a “successful” family? What is it about the family’s appearance and interaction with one another that lets you know this? In what ways is the “successful” family different from the other family pictured? Considering these questions and the essay you’ve just read, write a paragraph in which you contrast the two families pictured here.
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READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. Successful Communication
b. How to Solve Family Confl icts
c. Characteristics of Families
d. Hallmarks of the Communicating Family
2. Which sentence best expresses the article’s main point?
a. Television can and often does destroy family life.
b. More American families are unhappy than ever before.
c. A number of qualities mark the healthy and communicating family.
d. Strong families encourage independent thinking.
3. True or False? According to the article, healthy families have no use for television.
4. Healthy families
a. never fi nd it hard to communicate.
b. have no confl icts with each other.
c. know how to reveal their feelings.
d. permit one of the parents to make all fi nal decisions.
5. The author has found that good families frequently make a point of being
together
a. in the mornings.
b. after school.
c. during dinner.
d. before bedtime.
6. True or False? The article implies that the most troublesome nonver- bal signal is silence.
7. The article implies that
a. verbal messages are always more accurate than nonverbal ones.
b. in strong families, parents practice tolerance of thoughts and feelings.
c. parents must avoid arguing with their adolescent children.
d. parents should prevent their children from watching television.
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8. From the article, we can conclude that
a. a weak marital relationship often results in a weak family.
b. children should not witness a disagreement between parents.
c. children who grow up in healthy families learn not to interrupt other family
members.
d. parents always fi nd it easier to respond to their children than to react to them.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. What are the nine hallmarks of a successfully communicating family? Which
of the nine do you feel are most important?
2. How do good parents control television? How do they make television a posi-
tive force instead of a negative one?
3. In paragraph 20, the author says, “It is usually easier to react than to respond.”
What is the difference between the two terms react and respond?
4. Why, according to Curran, is a “pattern of reconciliation” (paragraph 44) cru-
cial to good family life? Besides those patterns mentioned in the essay, can you
describe a reconciliation pattern you have developed with friends or family?
About Structure 5. What is the thesis of the selection? Write here the number of the paragraph in
which it is stated:
6. What purpose is achieved by Curran’s introduction (paragraphs 1–2)? Why is
a reader likely to feel that her article will be reliable and worthwhile?
7. Curran frequently uses dialogue or quotations from unnamed parents or chil-
dren as the basis for her examples. The conversation related in paragraphs
16–17 is one instance. Find three other dialogues used to illustrate points in the
essay and write the numbers below:
Paragraph(s)
Paragraph(s)
Paragraph(s)
About Style and Tone 8. Curran enlivens the essay by using some interesting and humorous remarks from
parents, children, and counselors. One is the witty comment in paragraph 5 from
a marriage counselor: “And when I share this complaint with their husbands,
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they don’t hear me, either.” Find two other places where the author keeps your interest by using humorous or enjoyable quotations, and write the numbers of
the paragraphs here:
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Write a defi nition paragraph on the hallmarks of a bad family. Your topic sen- tence might be “A bad family is one that is , , and
.” To get started, you should fi rst reread the features of a good fam-
ily explained in the selection. Doing so will help you think about what qualities are
found in a bad family. Prepare a list of as many bad qualities as you can think of.
Then go through the list and decide on the qualities that seem most characteristic
of a bad family.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Curran tells us fi ve phrases that some children say they most like to hear from their
mothers (paragraph 38). When you were younger, what statement or action of one
of your parents (or another adult) would make you especially happy—or sad? Write
a paragraph that begins with a topic sentence like one of the following:
A passing comment my grandfather once made really devastated me.
When I was growing up, there were several typical ways my mother treated me that always made me sad.
A critical remark by my fi fth-grade teacher was the low point of my life.
My mother has always had several lines that make her children feel very pleased.
You may want to write a narrative that describes in detail the particular time and
place of a statement or action. Or you may want to provide three or so examples of
statements or actions and their effect on you.
To get started, make up two long lists of childhood memories involving adults—
happy memories and sad memories. Then decide which memory or memories you
could most vividly describe in a paragraph. Remember that your goal is to help
your readers see for themselves why a particular time was sad or happy for you.
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay In light of Curran’s description of what healthy families do right, examine your
own family. Which of Curran’s traits of communicative families fi t your family?
Write an essay pointing out three things that your family is doing right in creating
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a communicative climate for its members. Or, if you feel your family could work
harder at communicating, write the essay about three specifi c ways your family could
improve. In either case, choose three of Curran’s nine “hallmarks of the successfully
communicating family” and show how they do or do not apply to your family.
In your introductory paragraph, include a thesis statement as well as a plan of
development that lists the three traits you will talk about. Then present these traits
in turn in three supporting paragraphs. Develop each paragraph by giving specifi c
examples of conversations, arguments, behavior patterns, and so on, that illustrate
how your family communicates. Finally, conclude your essay with a summarizing
sentence or two and a fi nal thought about your subject.
To get ideas fl owing, draw a picture of your family, and consider what the word
family means to you. In groups of two or three, share your pictures and defi nitions, discussing how your family communicates. Compare and contrast your experi-
ences with “successful” communication.
Diff erent Is Just Diff erent Suzanne Fisher Staples
PREVIEW
Cultural understanding doesn’t always come easily, especially when one’s only knowledge of another nation or culture comes primarily from news coverage of wars and disasters. In this essay, Suzanne Fisher Staples describes how her experiences in Afghanistan and in Pakistan infl uenced her to write her novels. She also challenges her readers to see that one culture is not superior to another, but merely different, and explains how appreciating those differences is so vital to creating a more compassionate world.
In Lake County, Florida, where I live, the school board passed a resolution last
winter that allows teaching multicultural studies provided they are taught from the
perspective that “American culture” is superior. America’s growing preference for
challenging First Amendment rights over exercising tolerance* is alarming. The
good news in Florida is that the resolution has sparked discussion where people
didn’t know much about multicultural studies before. The mother of a student said to
me recently: “I’ve never been clear on what multicultural means. I thought my kids
would be reading about African-American and Hispanic people. I never realized it
could make a difference in how America acts as a member of the world community.”
There’s more to it than that, but she was on the right track.
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I’m often asked why I was moved to write my fi rst two books, Shabanu and Haveli, both set in Pakistan, both with Islamic characters. Many people wonder why they should know or care at all about the Islamic world.
The idea of writing fi ction fi rst struck me when I was a news reporter for
United Press International in Asia. The most important story I covered during that
time was the war in Afghanistan. It was, like all wars, tragic and terrible, perhaps
more so than others because so many children were involved. After news reporters
were denied visas to Afghanistan, we had to cover events from the border area.
Often I visited the fi eld hospitals that treated refugees and the Islamic rebels who
fought the Soviet invaders. In one clinic in a remote area south of rebel headquar-
ters, I met six boys who were around the age of thirteen. They were all that was left
of a ragtag group of one hundred unarmed boys who had fought and killed twenty-
odd Soviet soldiers in hand-to-hand combat.
During the Afghanistan War, I began to be troubled by Americans’ lack of
understanding of people who are very different from us. Every day at news desks
all over the country, editors lobbied for space for national, local, and state news in
their newspapers. Most days the Afghanistan story was relegated to a paragraph in
“News in Brief” columns. It was not because the editors didn’t understand the stra-
tegic importance of Afghanistan. They knew the Soviet Union had invaded because
they needed a warm-water port, and more important, access to the Persian Gulf and
the shipping lanes that carry Middle Eastern oil to the West.
What these editors did not understand about Afghanistan, an Islamic nation,
was its culture, the ways of its people. It was as if the war were happening some-
where unimaginable, in outer space perhaps. The editors didn’t have the sense that
these were people just like you and me, whose mothers, grandfathers, husbands,
wives, and children were being killed, people who get cold in winter when there’s
no heat, and are terrifi ed when they hear gunfi re outside their houses—just as you
and I would be.
The news, important as it is, is not the best way to promote cultural understand-
ing. News is based on facts about politics and economics. But fi ction invites us into
the lives of people who may seem very different from us, but nevertheless share our
emotions and hopes and dreams—the stuff of the hearts of every one of us.
I had the opportunity to return to Pakistan in 1985 to do a study of women and
poverty for the U.S. Agency for International Development. While the major thrust
of USAID’s projects was to build or improve roads, tunnels, bridges, and irriga-
tion canals, the agency sought ways to improve the lives of the poorest people of
Pakistan, those who live in rural areas. The idea was to improve health, nutrition,
and housing for families by concentrating on women. The fi rst step, we decided,
should be to teach the women to read. If you teach people the meaning of words on
paper, they more readily understand ideas—for example, that things they can’t see
in their drinking water will make their babies sick or that certain foods will make
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them grow strong. Teaching people to read makes hope a reality, for many for the
fi rst time in their lives.
It was exciting to study the mysteries of poverty and how to break into its
cycles. It was also exquisitely* frustrating because the solutions were so complex.
It’s very diffi cult to motivate women to learn unless you provide a concrete reason,
like showing how it will help them earn money. Otherwise they see little sense
in sparing their valuable time and fi nding other people to care for their children
and animals. And it’s virtually impossible to teach them to read or make money
if they’re always sick because their drinking water is too close to their toilets or
because they don’t have enough to eat.
USAID ultimately decided that this approach to improving people’s lives was
too complicated and didn’t spend enough money fast enough to be politically ac-
ceptable, either in Washington or Islamabad. In the end a small step was taken.
USAID contributed to a literacy center where women from the countryside would
take instruction and return to their villages to teach other women to read. In the
face of the crushing problems in their lives, funding the literacy center seemed a
small token step.
Now, eight years later, the literacy rate among women in rural Pakistan re-
mains at about fi ve percent. Children still go hungry and many die in infancy.
USAID no longer funds the literacy center, nor roads nor tunnels.
I can think of little that does more damage to bodies, minds, and spirits than
poverty. Change is particularly diffi cult in economically backward Islamic coun-
tries, and many American development experts regard progress there as almost
impossible. On the other hand, my moderate Muslim friends regarded our effort in
behalf of literacy as a great victory. They’re used to small steps, while Americans
are of a mind to have it all.
When I came back from Pakistan, people asked: “How could you stand the
poverty and ignorance?” It made me want to say: “Look around you! It’s not so
different here.”
Poverty does not defi ne the lives of poor people. Their lives have as much value
as ours do. There is more to Islam than repression. All of us have in common the
entire range of emotion and experience: love—passionate love of men and women
and tender love of parents and children, girl children included; humor—they love
to see a bully brought down, an unkind deed backfi re.
During my time in Pakistan, I learned something with my heart that my head
already knew: “different” does not mean “better” or “worse”—it just means
different.
It’s important for people to understand that Islam is more than terrorism and
fundamentalism and suppression of women—that it’s a religion of compassion
and justice and poetry not at all dissimilar from Christianity and Judaism in its
prescriptions for how we should behave toward each other.
Like it or not, we’re politically and economically linked to the Middle East
by way of our dependence on oil. Islam is the world’s largest and fastest-growing
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religion. And now we fi nd ourselves yet again in the forefront of making and keep-
ing peace in the Middle East.
A great struggle is being waged for the very soul of Islam. While we know
of attacks such as the one on the World Trade Center, we don’t know the signifi -
cance of terrorist activities that don’t actually affect us. In Pakistan, fundamental-
ists have arrested Akhtar Hameed Khan, a poet and philanthropist who once wrote
that he admired Buddha. In Turkey, they gunned down the secular journalist Ugur
Mumcu. These events were barely mentioned in the American press, yet our not
knowing about them is a big help to fundamentalists.
In a New York Times editorial in July, 1993, Salman Rushdie wrote that acts of persecution against moderates in the Islamic world are common: “[These acts
are] part of a deliberate, lethal program, whose purpose is to criminalize, denigrate
and even to assassinate the Muslim world’s best, most honorable voices: its voices
of dissent. And remember that those dissidents need your support. More than any-
thing, they need your attention.”
I went to the Cholistan Desert to gather information for the USAID study.
As an outward show of respect, I wore Pakistani clothes. I had reservations about
wearing the chadr, or veil, which to me symbolized the repression of women. I was mistaken about the veil, as I was in most of my other preconceived ideas about
Islam. The chadr, when tied between the branches of a tree, makes a fi ne cradle. It is a backpack for carrying fodder and kindling, a screen to dress and bathe behind,
a sheet, protection from the sun, a bandage, a towel. Life in the desert is inconceiv-
able without it.
I slept on the ground with the women and worked beside them learning to make
chapatis and hauling water. I studied Urdu, the language of Pakistan, so I could lis- ten to their stories and tell them my own. We laughed and cried together and became
friends. Their stories became the framework for Shabanu and Haveli. The Pakistani are people of extreme courage. Living as they do on the very
edge of survival, they depend on each other too much for triviality* to creep into
their relationships. They see joy and humor everywhere it hides, and they train
themselves to fi nd the best in every situation.
As diffi cult as it had been to adjust to living there, it was easier than coming
home. By comparison Americans seemed petty in their dealings with each other.
I was appalled at how much energy we spend on unimportant concerns, such as
whether our shoes are in style, or our teacups are chipped when company is com-
ing. (I’ve been back fi ve years now, and I must report that I now worry over what
to serve guests at dinner, what to wear to parties, the state of my teacups.)
But living among the people of the wind forced me constantly to stretch to
understand and to make myself understood. It made me grow in ways I never knew
were possible. My hope for Shabanu and Haveli and all good books about people who are different from us is that they will inspire us to grow beyond our limits to
learn understanding. And that this understanding will foster peace in the world by
teaching us not to fear differences but to become more compassionate people.
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586 Part 5 Readings for Writers
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word tolerance in “challenging First Amendment rights over exercising tolerance is alarming” (paragraph 1) means
a. capacity to endure pain or hardship.
b. sympathy for beliefs or practices differing from or confl icting with one’s own.
c. allowable deviation from a standard.
d. the capacity of the body to endure or become less responsive to a substance.
2. The word exquisitely in “It was also exquisitely frustrating because the solu- tions were so complex” (paragraph 9) means
a. carefully selected.
b. marked by fl awless craftsmanship.
c. intense or extreme.
d. ingeniously devised or thought out.
3. The word triviality in “they depend on each other too much for triviality to creep into their relationships” (paragraph 22) means
a. something of little worth or importance.
b. characterized by having all variables equal to zero.
c. commonplace; everyday.
d. a remark that is hurtful.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. Reporting the Truth
b. Understanding Creates Compassion
c. USAID’s Positive Impact
d. Why I Wrote My Books
2. Which of the following best expresses the main idea of this selection?
a. Afghanistan and Pakistan are two different countries that have been in-
volved in a multitude of wars.
b. Poverty is everywhere and affects women and children differently than it
does men.
c. Understanding that different doesn’t mean better or worse will help us
become more compassionate.
d. American culture is superior and different cultures need to incorporate
American values.
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3. According to the author, about how old were the boys she met at the fi eld hos-
pital south of rebel headquarters?
a. thirteen
b. seventeen
c. nineteen
d. twenty-fi ve
4. Why did the author return to Pakistan in 1985?
a. to visit the refugees she had met during her reporting career
b. to help distribute medications to the sick and needy
c. to interview women for her novels
d. to conduct a study on women and poverty
5. True or False? USAID’s literacy project improved the literacy of Pakistani women.
6. The author learned that the chadr, or veil, could be used for all of the following except a
a. cradle.
b. backpack.
c. skirt.
d. screen.
7. We can infer that the author of this selection
a. grew close to the Pakistani women she observed and studied.
b. wishes she lived in Pakistan instead of America.
c. believes that “American culture is superior.”
d. became so discouraged by what she witnessed that she wanted to give up.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content
1. Why does Staples believe much of the Afghanistan War (1979–1989) wasn’t
reported in American newspapers?
2. Pakistan’s illiteracy rate in the twenty-fi rst century remains very high, espe-
cially among women. Do you think if USAID had continued to fund the edu-
cation programs started in 1985 the literacy rates would be better? Why or
why not?
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588 Part 5 Readings for Writers
3. When Staples returned from Pakistan, she was often asked how she could stand
the poverty and ignorance. Her silent response was that people should “Look
around you! It’s not so different here” (paragraph 13). Do you agree/disagree
with her? Why/why not?
4. In paragraph 18, Staples references the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center
and comments that “not knowing about them [terrorist activities that don’t
directly affect Americans] is a big help to fundamentalists.” What do you think
Staples means?
About Structure
5. What in the introduction to this essay captures the attention of readers and
motivates them to read on?
6. What patterns of development does the author use in her essay? Explain.
About Style and Tone
7. In the introduction, a mother is quoted as saying, “I never realized it could
make a difference in how America acts as a member of the world community.”
How does the fi nal sentence in the essay relate to the mother’s statement?
8. To convey her point, what tone does the author utilize? Give examples from the
essay to support your answer.
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph In paragraph 5, Staples states, “I began to be troubled by Americans’ lack of un-
derstanding of people who are very different from us.” Write a paragraph in which
you react to this statement. Your topic sentence will need to include a claim that
expresses your view. Here are two sentences that might begin different paragraphs.
One agrees with her statement and the other disagrees with her statement:
Americans’ lack of understanding of other cultures is going to hinder our ability to be a leader in the global economy.
New York City is a principal example of Americans’ positive acceptance and integration of new and different cultures.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Staples claims that Americans worry over inconsequentialities. She even admits
that she, too, is guilty of such worry. Write a persuasive paragraph in which you
explain why Americans need to stop worrying over things like what to wear to
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parties, whether or not one has the “right” car or house, or who the Bachelor is
going to choose. Your topic sentence might be similar to one of these:
Americans need to stop being concerned about petty matters and should put their energy into important problems like poverty, illness, and human rights.
Because of their obsession with trivial concerns, Americans are disconnected from the world community.
Alternatively, you might choose to write a persuasive paragraph that disagrees
with Staples’s point. Your topic sentence might be similar to one of these:
Americans’ aspirations for the latest and most fashionable items continue to keep the economy strong.
Deciding what to wear, what food to serve, and what dishes to use at a party represent important decisions because they demonstrate consideration of good etiquette.
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Staples mentions two terrorist incidents that were not reported in the American
press because they didn’t directly affect American citizens. She points out that
there can be serious consequences when such events are not covered.
For this assignment, you will need to access Newseum.org and click on the
link, “Today’s Front Pages.” You will be able to compare over nine hundred dif-
ferent newspapers’ front pages. Choose a major American newspaper like The New York Times or a smaller newspaper like the Anchorage Daily News and com- pare its headlines to a newspaper from another country. Many newspapers like
The Calgary Sun, The Wall Street Journal Asia, and The Asian Age are printed in English. Since the front pages change daily, you may want to print copies or save
pdf copies of the pictures, so you can continue to work with them even after the
headlines change.
Once you have chosen your front pages, you will want to read them over
carefully, taking notes about the similarities and differences of the headlines. You
may also want to try to answer the following questions as you read over your
newspapers:
• Are there any similar stories/headlines? If yes, what is their signifi cance?
Is the coverage of each story the same?
• If there are no similar stories, what is signifi cant about the chosen stories?
• Why do you think the editors chose the stories they did?
• Were the stories effectively covered?
• Why do you think the layout of the front page appears as it does?
• What was conveyed by the photos that were used?
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590 Part 5 Readings for Writers
Then write an essay in which you compare and contrast the front pages and ana-
lyze why you think the editors of the papers chose the stories they did for the front
page. You will want to create a thesis that has a claim. Instead of just saying the
two papers are similar (or different), you might write “The coverage of international
news in The Anchorage Daily News was superior to the coverage in The Calgary Sun.” Share your rough draft with a partner to get and give feedback for revision.
Refer to the checklist on the inside back cover.
What Students Need to Know About Today’s Job Crisis Don Bertram
PREVIEW
Finding a job in America may be more diffi cult than it has ever been before. What are the factors that make the job hunt so much more challenging today— and what must students do to increase their chances for employment? Above all, how can students avoid an all-too-common trap in today’s economy: post-high- school study and signifi cant debt, but no job to show for it?
Many Jobs Have Disappeared Forever To begin with, students must recognize a hard truth: Many jobs in America have disappeared forever. There is a well-known story about a meeting that President Barack Obama had with the late Steve Jobs of Apple Computer, America’s most profi t-
able corporation. Apple at one time boasted that its products were made in the United
States. But now almost all of its millions of iPods, iPhones, iPads, and other products
are manufactured overseas—benefi ting hundreds of thousands of workers there. “Why
can’t all that work making Apple products come home?” Obama was said to have
asked. Jobs’s reply was unambiguous*: “Those jobs aren’t coming back,” he said.
The globalization of jobs is simply a reality of today. Many American com-
panies, like Apple, have shipped their jobs overseas to places like China, India,
and Latin America, where workers are willing to work for a fraction of the pay
they would receive in the United States. Companies go overseas because they are
increasingly owned by institutional investors who focus on the bottom line, rather
than on what might be better, in the long run, for American workers. “American
business is about maximizing shareholder value,” says Allen Sinai, chief global
economist at the research fi rm Decision Economics.
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Once companies decided to set up manufacturing sites in other countries, with
cheaper costs and higher profi ts, American manufacturing could not compete, and
many blue-collar manufacturing jobs for the middle class disappeared. Thirty or forty
years ago, the country had an abundance of low-skill, decent-paying manufacturing
jobs in the automobile, steel, textile, furniture, apparel and electronics assembly in-
dustries, among others. Instead of going to college, a person could work in a factory
and still enjoy a middle-class life with a house, a yearly vacation, and the chance to
eat steak in a restaurant on a Saturday night. But those days are gone.
Relatedly, the manufacturing jobs that do remain in America have been re- duced by automation, which has helped companies cut over six million jobs since
2000. As one executive said, “You basically don’t want workers. You try to fi nd
capital equipment to replace them.” Today there are all kinds of factory robots that
perform tasks that once gave people a living wage.
The rapid growth of computer-based technology has also eliminated many tradi-
tional jobs. Picture the 1960s advertising agency in the cable TV show Mad Men, and think about the abundance of people there who were hired to do jobs now handled
electronically by small machines. Secretaries have been replaced by word process-
ing, voice mail, e-mail and scheduling software; accounting staff by Excel; people in
the art department by desktop design programs. And today the need for workers of all
kinds has been reduced by, for example, online banking, self-service checkouts at the
supermarket, and the use of home computers or smartphones to do one-click ordering
of food, clothing, shoes, health and beauty aids, books, music, movies, games, tools,
and an endless range of sports, electronics, and automotive products.
Also cutting deeply into American jobs has been “outsourcing”—the transfer
of many white-collar jobs to the much cheaper labor market overseas. Enabled by
global computer networks, questions and problems that were once dealt with by
workers in the U.S. are now answered by someone at a computer and phone station
in India. The back-offi ce operations of banks, investment houses, and insurance
companies are increasingly handled by bright, talented people, hired at low wages,
in countries halfway around the world. And many companies have or plan to set
up white-collar operations in other countries. A case in point: Pharmaceutical giant
Merck & Co. Inc., which operates a plant near Philadelphia, announced plans to in-
vest $1.5 billion in research development in China—enough to build a facility large
enough to house six hundred employees, who will work on discovering new drugs,
testing them, and getting regulatory approval. Global competition for jobs with
people in other parts of the world is a reality that is likely to increase over time.
Th e Reduced Value of a College Degree A second key factor in today’s economy is that not only have many jobs dis- appeared, but a college degree no longer means what it once did. In the past, a student with a college diploma could walk out the college door, and companies
would almost be waiting on the doorstep, ready to offer him or her an interesting
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592 Part 5 Readings for Writers
white-collar job. Today, chances are that unless students have prepared themselves
for jobs in marketable areas, there will be no one waiting at their doorstep except
the lenders who have provided them with the loans needed to earn their degree.
Here are a few all-too-typical stories; there are countless others just like them.
1. Kelsey, 23, graduated from a university in Ohio with a degree in marketing and
$120,000 in student debt. Unable to get a job in her major, she is now working
two restaurant jobs and has given up her apartment to live with her parents.
Her mother, who co-signed on the loans, took out a life insurance policy on her
daughter. “If anything ever happened, God forbid, that is my debt also,” said
her mother.
Kelsey didn’t seem like a perfect fi nancial fi t for a school that costs nearly
$50,000 a year. Her father and mother have modest incomes, and she has four
sisters. But when she visited the school, she was won over by faculty and ad-
missions staff members who urge students to pursue their dreams rather than
obsess on the sticker price. “I was an 18-year-old and they really sold me,”
Kelsey says. “But no one told me that when I would graduate, I’d owe like
$900 a month.”
2. Michael, 22, graduated in 2010 with a creative writing degree. Today he is
making just above the minimum wage in his job as a barista, serving customers
at a Seattle coffeehouse. In the beginning he sent three or four résumés a day,
but employers questioned his lack of experience or the practical worth of his
major, and he has lost his job-hunting momentum. He is fortunate in getting
fi nancial help from his parents to help pay off student loans.
3. Laura, 29, unemployed and with $100,000 in student debt, graduated with hon-
ors and two B.A.s, served in the Peace Corps, then graduated with a master’s
degree in public administration. Despite her accomplishments, she searches
fruitlessly for work and lives on food stamps in South Philadelphia. At last
count, she had applied for more than 250 jobs, from government service to
boutique clerk to waitress. She talked about the blue-collar parents that have
supported her along the way: “My parents’ hopes are in me, and I feel I’m let-
ting them down. My generation wants to succeed, and given the chance, we
could shine. But so many things are holding us back.”
4. Wanda makes $8.50 an hour working for an employment training center in
Florida. She dropped out of a for-profi t college after she ran out of money, even
with the loans. She has stopped opening her student loan bills but thinks they
now total over $90,000. She’s a single mother who knows she cannot pay it.
“She’s worse off than when she started,” an advisor says. “Debt with no degree.”
5. “I always used to say that I couldn’t wait to get out of here when I gradu-
ate and have a career instead of just a job,” Reid, 24, says as he sweeps the
grocery store aisles where he still works as what he calls a “glorifi ed janitor.”
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Reid graduated eighteen months ago with a degree in corporate fi nance. He
hasn’t been able to fi nd a job in investment banking or wealth management
as he had hoped, and his student loans are over $50,000 and growing. After
a year of fruitless job searching, Reid lowered his expectations. No one was
hiring investment specialists, because far fewer people had money to invest.
“So I changed my approach and expectations,” Reid explains. Although he was
overqualifi ed, he began applying for low-paying positions at call centers. “But
even with those,” he says, “they were looking for older, more experienced, and
even better qualifi ed workers. That’s how bad the job situation is.”
6. Eric got a degree in history from the University of Pennsylvania, and he still
owes $20,000 for his degree. He’s applied for a least a hundred jobs—“any job
that looked like something I can do”—but nothing has developed. Now he’s a
chess tutor for elementary school kids. He believes he was misled: “The good
schools project this image that if you have our degree, it’s a ticket to any job
you want—which is obviously total B.S.,” he says. “I don’t think I was prop-
erly informed of the negative side to all this.” And he adds: “If this is what it’s
like for people who go to the best colleges, how is it for everyone else?”
Five Important “Don’t’s” Given the loss of so many jobs in America, and the fact that a college degree no longer means what it once did, here are fi ve guidelines that students should keep in mind:
1. Don’t choose a college because you’ve fallen in love with it. Parents and stu- dents often fall in love with pretty campuses. To compete for the parent dollar,
education experts say, college offi cials have long believed that they must manu-
facture nothing short of Shangri-La University: heaven on earth, with cable and
Internet, health facilities, major athletic complexes, libraries, speedy online
service—an entire society replicated. “On the college tour,” says one student
advisor, “they don’t take you to the philosophy department. They show you the
gym.” The appealing extras cost money, and all too often schools pass along
those costs to incoming students in the form of ever-increasing tuition.
Listen to the advice of Barmak Nassirian, associate executive director of
the American Association of Collegiate Registrars and Admissions Offi cers in
Washington. Too many students, he says, don’t understand that when they go
to college, they’re entering places of business, not cathedrals on a hill: “A lot
of schools have stopped being anything but self-sustaining bureaucracies.” His
advice: “Pick a more Spartan school near home, and commute.”
2. Don’t assume a college will give you important advice about either career prospects or student debt. Some schools are responsible in educating stu- dents about today’s job challenges. But as one expert has said, “Many col-
leges are just trying to fi ll seats. Warm bodies in classrooms help pay for the
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594 Part 5 Readings for Writers
comfortable salaries of tenured faculty and administrative personnel. They
present school as an opportunity, but it reaches a point where they’re just tak-
ing people’s money. As a result, students leave school with serious debt and
without a marketable degree.”
Carl Van Horn, director of the John J. Heldrich Center for Workforce De-
velopment at Rutgers University, is one of an increasing number of voices say-
ing that colleges need to do better to prepare their students for today’s changed
labor market. Van Horn says, “Colleges have a moral responsibility to educate
students about job prospects, but few offer anything other than advice to start
a job search six weeks before graduation.”
Today’s reality is that a college degree itself is no ticket to success. About
50 percent of college graduates are working in jobs that don’t require a bach-
elor’s degree, according to economist Paul Harrington of Drexel University.
Students in four-year colleges, he says, don’t give suffi cient thought to how
their majors connect to jobs in the real world.
As for student debt, the Obama administration has tried to make college
pricing easier to understand. Colleges and universities are now required to post
calculators on their websites that explain the net tuition price after grants and
loans, but critics say the calculators can be confusing, misleading, or hard to
fi nd. And the administration has proposed that colleges be required to offer a
“shopping sheet” to make it easier for families to measure the true costs and
benefi ts. “We just have to get them much more information,” said Education
Secretary Arne Duncan. “If you’re going to college, you need to know not
what the fi rst year costs. You need to know what it’s going to cost for the long
haul.” One student advisor has said, “When a college suggests that students
take out $5,000 in loans, I wish they’d put 5,000 one-dollar bills on a table in
front of them and explain that debt will follow them for life. Then maybe they
could see just what they’re getting into.” Nassarian adds that lenders have been
only too happy to work with schools. “What’s better than owning a piece of a
student for life?”
In light of the above, an important rule of thumb is to not get into major debt. Regard any student loan for more than $2,500 a year as a danger to your future. Like mortgages lugged around for life, student loans can follow
you to the grave and can’t be discharged in bankruptcy. Lenders can legally
collect on those loans by attaching money from your wages and even from
your Social Security.
3. Don’t start college unless you’re reasonably sure you can fi nish. The one thing worse than student debt is student debt without a diploma. Only about
40 percent of all four-year college students who start school ever complete it,
and among community college students, just one in fi ve earns an associate’s
degree within three years. Students drop out due to family demands and the
need to fi nd some kind of work. As a result, the United States has the highest
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college dropout rate in the industrialized world. The danger of dropping out is
especially high for children of low-income families.
4. Don’t go to a for-profi t school. (To see a list of such schools, Google “for- profi t schools” or go to specifi c online sites dedicated to these types of schools.)
Students at for-profi t schools often complain that they were misled about edu-
cational costs and that their job prospects were exaggerated. Many for-profi t
institutions have a track record of very high tuitions—sometimes twice that of
nonprofi t schools—and low graduation rates. Government reports and lawsuits
have accused some for-profi t colleges of outright fraud, including doctoring at-
tendance records or peddling near-worthless degrees. Never go to a for-profi t
school without checking fi rst to see if there is a comparable program offered at
a nearby community college.
5. Don’t assume that you will need a college degree. Instead, you may want to get a certifi cation or some other postsecondary training in a growing career fi eld. Former Labor Secretary Robert Reich says, “Too many families cling to the mythology that their child can be a success only if he or she has a
college degree.” Such an assumption poorly serves candidates who might be
better off taking career-related courses, attending a vocational-training school,
or learning about other ways to enter the work force.
A report called Pathways to Prosperity recently released by Harvard Uni- versity states, in some of the strongest terms yet, that a “college for all” empha-
sis may actually harm many American students—keeping them from having
a smooth transition from adolescence to adulthood and a viable career. The
Harvard report concludes: “The American system for preparing young people
to lead productive and prosperous lives as adults is clearly badly broken.” It is
a system that doesn’t do a good job showing students the link between their
learning and the jobs to which they aspire. The college-for-all rhetoric should
be broadened to become “post-high-school credential for all.”
And writing recently in The Atlantic, Jordan Weissman adds: “When there were fewer graduates, a generic* college degree used to be a valuable
credential. Now that the market is fl ooded, diplomas count less, and specifi c
skills count more. This means that, in many instances, associate’s and techni-
cal degrees may be more fi nancially valuable than a liberal-arts degree. After
all, some of the fastest growing job categories are expected to be in so-called
‘middle-skill’ positions such as nursing, which do not require a full, four-year
education. It’s one more sign that, for people seeking to fi x America’s employ-
ment picture, ‘college for all’ is the wrong mantra.* We need to be talking
about ‘skills for all’ instead.”
Other voices express a similar conclusion: One unemployed college grad-
uate observed, “I was raised to think that what you needed was a college de-
gree,” he said. “That’s not the game anymore. It’s what you major in.” And an
employment advisor comments: “Our current college system doesn’t work.
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You get a degree but wind up in a high school labor market job you could
have had before college. But now you’re worse off because you have all the
debt you incurred getting that college degree.” And an education researcher
concludes: “The mainstream American approach to education is obsolete. The
solution to today’s problems starts with education—specifi cally, work-linked
education, the teaching of particular skills to do a particular job. We should not
be emphasizing college but career training.”
Two Important “Do’s” 1. Do pursue some kind of post-high-school skills development. In today’s
economy, job applicants with only high school degrees are among the worst
off; just three out of ten can expect to make $35,000 a year or more in their
lifetimes, predicts Georgetown University economist Jeff Strohl. One educa-
tion reporter has said that in today’s world facing the future even with a post-
secondary degree “is like being in a lifeboat in a roiling sea,” but “facing the
future with a high school degree is like being in the water.”
And writes Adam Davidson in the New York Times: “Though it’s no guar- antee, a B.A. or some kind of technical training is at least a prerequisite for
a decent salary. It’s hard to see any great future for high-school dropouts or
high-school graduates with no technical skills. They most often get jobs that
require little judgment and minimal training, like stocking shelves, cooking
burgers, and cleaning offi ces. Employers generally see these unskilled workers
as commodities—one is as good as any other—and thus each worker has very
little bargaining power, especially now that unions are weaker. There are about
forty million of these low-skilled people in our work force. They’re vying for
jobs that are likely to earn near the minimum wage with few or no benefi ts,
and they have a high chance of being laid off many times in a career. . . . The
rest of us, meanwhile, should go to school, learn some skills and prepare for a
rocky road.”
It’s worth noting that most community colleges remain a bargain—a way
to make postsecondary education affordable. Average tuition is often about
$3,000 a year, compared to a four-year school costing tens of thousands more.
And a student can save thousands more by commuting to a community college
close to home.
2. Do sail your own ship in looking for a job. The Harvard report Pathways to Prosperity notes that much so-called career counseling is inadequate and nonexistent, with counselors lacking the expertise needed for quality career
guidance in today’s world. For that reason, you need to take charge of the fact
that it’s up to you to research career and job possibilities. Some students lack street smarts, and they just drift passively and blindly with the tide, not looking
or planning ahead for the challenges and dangers that await. Don’t be a patsy;
your life is in your hands—no one else’s.
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Here’s what you should start to do: Educate yourself about what all the
adults in your life do to make a living. Educate yourself about the kinds of jobs
that are available in the region of the country where you live. Educate your-
self about the strongest jobs possibilities by visiting the Occupational Outlook Handbook (www.bis.gov/ooh/)—the government Web site that lists the stron- gest job possibilities for today. (Right now the fastest growing occupations up
to 2020 are projected to be personal care aides, home health aides, masonry,
carpenter and plumber helpers, veterinary technicians, physical and occupa-
tional therapy assistants, meeting and event planners, interpreters and transla-
tors, medical secretaries, and family therapists.) Use the Internet to educate
yourself as well about how to prepare a good résumé and a good cover letter
when applying for jobs, as well as how to handle a job interview.
And, in general, keep in mind that the U.S. economy is one that has shifted
from the production of vital goods to a service-based collection of jobs. Ask
yourself, “What kind of service-providing job can I prepare for?” For example,
one of the largest growth fi elds in the country today is health care. If your
funds are severely limited, consider earning a certifi cate as a personal care aide
or home health aide; chances are that certifi cate will quickly get you a job with
a regular paycheck you can use to gradually take courses in a promising career
direction.
Final Th oughts Knowledge is power. To secure a meaningful job, you must fi rst understand the
challenges in today’s economy. The fi rst challenge is that many jobs have disap-
peared, and the second is that a college degree no longer leads to a job in the way it
once did. With these facts in mind, apply the “Don’t’s” and “Do’s” presented here.
Then proceed one careful step at a time in exploring directions you feel will have
the best chance of opening job doors. Remember it’s up to you to make the search
for a good job a primary and ongoing goal in your life. I wish you success.
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word unambiguous in “Why can’t all that work making Apple products come home?” Obama was said to have asked. Jobs’s reply was unambiguous:
‘Those jobs aren’t coming back,’ he said” (paragraph 1) means
a. promising.
b. clever.
c. straightforward.
d. indirect.
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598 Part 5 Readings for Writers
2. The word generic in “When there were fewer graduates, a generic college de- gree used to be a valuable credential. Now that the market is fl ooded, diplomas
count less, and specifi c skills count more” (paragraph 28) means
a. genuine.
b. specifi c.
c. competitive.
d. general.
3. The word mantra in “It’s one more sign that, for people seeking to fi x Ameri- ca’s employment picture, ‘college for all’ is the wrong mantra. We need to be
talking about ‘skills for all’ instead” (paragraph 28) means
a. image.
b. message.
c. explanation.
d. defi nition.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. College: The Gateway to Guaranteed Employment
b. Avoid College, Avoid Debt
c. College and Employment: A Losing Combination
d. Employment Realities in the Twenty-First Century
2. Which sentence best expresses the central point of the entire selection?
a. Globalization, automation, and outsourcing are the reasons why it is now
diffi cult for many Americans to get good-paying jobs.
b. Because many American jobs have disappeared, students need to pursue
some kind of post-high school education that will provide them with mar-
ketable skills.
c. There are ways that today’s students can avoid falling into the trap of be-
coming unemployed or underemployed.
d. Because they have failed to prepare themselves for the current job market,
about 50 percent of college graduates are working in jobs that don’t require
a college degree.
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3. The implied main idea of paragraphs 8–16 is that
a. today it’s common for young, college graduates to be deeply in debt and
unemployed or underemployed.
b. many young American college graduates are deeply in debt due to the high
cost of their college education.
c. today a college degree is worthless.
d. many of today’s recent college graduates are surprised that they have to
work so hard to obtain even low-paying jobs.
4. Which sentence best expresses the main idea of paragraph 35?
a. There are many reasons why it is important to become well educated.
b. The Occupational Outlook Handbook lists the strongest job possibilities for today.
c. There are lots of job openings in the fi eld of health care and in certain
trades such as masonry, carpentry, and plumbing.
d. It’s important to educate yourself about the strongest job possibilities for
today and the near future.
5. According to the selection, students who are shopping for a college should
enroll at
a. the one with the best overall academic reputation.
b. the one with the newest health facilities, athletic complexes, and libraries.
c. the Spartan one close to home.
d. the one that functions more like a business, not a cathedral on a hill.
6. According to Secretary of Education Arne Duncan,
a. not all students need to acquire a post-high school education.
b. students need to know what college will cost for the long haul.
c. it is only important for students to know what the fi rst year of college will cost.
d. students should avoid taking out any loans to pay for their college education.
7. According to Bertram, students should not
a. expect that their college will prepare them for today’s job market.
b. automatically think that they need a four-year college degree.
c. enroll at a for-profi t school when a community college offers a comparable
program.
d. all of the above.
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600 Part 5 Readings for Writers
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. According to the author, why have so many American jobs been outsourced to
countries like China, India, and Latin America?
2. On the basis of paragraphs 19–21, we can infer that like other businesses,
colleges need to make money to survive. Do you agree with this statement?
Do you think, as the author implies, that this need to make money sometimes
overshadows quality of education?
3. Were you surprised by any of the information presented in this article? Did you
expect that your degree would guarantee you a high paying job? Explain.
About Structure 4. In the section “The Reduced Value of a College Degree,” Bertram highlights
six different students’ experiences. What is the purpose in presenting these
stories? Why do you believe he presented them numerically?
5. Bertram employs the use of bold text and headlines throughout the essay. Why
do you think the author chose this strategy?
About Style and Tone 6. Bertram often uses testimony by authorities to support his points. Where in his
essay does he use such support? What do you think it adds to his piece?
7. Is the author’s purpose to educate readers about the job crisis or to persuade read-
ers to do something? What specifi c points in the article lead you to that opinion?
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Imagine that you have completed your post-secondary education and that you now
have skills for which there is a steady demand. Write a cover letter for a job that you
would like to have. In your cover letter, describe the personal qualities and educational
background that would make you an ideal candidate for the job. The cover letter will
accompany your resume, which you are submitting for a particular job. Examine the
cover letter presented on page 538 to learn the proper format for this kind of letter;
examine, as well, the resume on page 539. You might also locate sample cover letters on
the Internet to expand your understanding of what is expected in such correspondence.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph In the selection, Bertram recommends educating yourself about what the adults
in your life do to make a living. Take his advice and speak with three people you
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know about their careers. Be sure to ask them how and why
they got into this fi eld, and whether or not they are satisfi ed
with what they are currently doing. After your interviews,
write a paragraph summing up what you’ve learned by talk-
ing with these adults. Your topic sentence might be similar
to the following:
“Talking with , , and
about what they do for a living was an
eye-opening experience.”
or
“I learned several things about the working world after
speaking with , , and
.”
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Don Bertram states that because much career counseling is
either inadequate or even nonexistent, it’s up to you to re-
search career and job possibilities. Take a few minutes and
brainstorm a list of careers and/or jobs that you are inter-
ested in. Then pick three items from your list and research
these three, using such resources as the Occupational Out- look Handbook (www.bis.gov/ooh/); United States Jobs, Careers, and Education Resources (http://usa.careers.org);
and others. Afterward, write an essay that, in your own
words, presents the results of your research. Your thesis
statement might be similar to one of the following:
According to my research, three strong job possibili-
ties in my region of the country are ,
, and .
or
According to my research, there is a strong demand for and ,
but not for .
The body of your essay should describe in detail what the occupational outlook is for each career;
enumerate the expected salary ranges; and defi ne the steps, including training and education, that a
person would need to follow to prepare for each career. You might conclude your essay by identify-
ing which career most appeals to you, and explain why.
BERTRAM’S ESSAY MENTIONS that one of the causes of the job crisis is outsourcing. Some jobs, like plumbers, electricians, and police offi cers cannot be outsourced. As you think about preparing for a future job, can you come up with some possible career choices that might ensure that you are entering an industry that won’t be outsourced? Write a paragraph about the career you feel would be a good choice for your future and why you believe it won’t be outsourced.
career cou
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Education and Self-Improvement
Do It Better Ben Carson, M.D., with Cecil Murphey
PREVIEW
If you suspect that you are now as “smart” as you’ll ever be, then read this selection. Taken from the book Think Big, it is about Dr. Ben Carson, who was sure he was “the
dumbest kid in the class” when he was in fi fth grade. Carson tells how he turned his life totally around from what was a path of failure. Today he is a famous neurosurgeon at the Johns Hopkins University Children’s Center in Baltimore, Maryland.
“Benjamin, is this your report card?” my mother asked as she picked up the
folded white card from the table.
“Uh, yeah,” I said, trying to sound casual. Too ashamed to hand it to her, I had
dropped it on the table, hoping that she wouldn’t notice until after I went to bed.
It was the fi rst report card I had received from Higgins Elementary School
since we had moved back from Boston to Detroit, only a few months earlier.
I had been in the fi fth grade not even two weeks before everyone considered
me the dumbest kid in the class and frequently made jokes about me. Before long
I too began to feel as though I really was the most stupid kid in fi fth grade. Despite
Mother’s frequently saying, “You’re smart, Bennie. You can do anything you want
to do,” I did not believe her.
No one else in school thought I was smart, either.
Now, as Mother examined my report card, she asked, “What’s this grade in
reading?” (Her tone of voice told me that I was in trouble.) Although I was embar-
rassed, I did not think too much about it. Mother knew that I wasn’t doing well in
math, but she did not know I was doing so poorly in every subject.
While she slowly read my report card, reading everything one word at a time, I
hurried into my room and started to get ready for bed. A few minutes later, Mother
came into my bedroom.
“Benjamin,” she said, “are these your grades?” She held the card in front of me
as if I hadn’t seen it before.
“Oh, yeah, but you know, it doesn’t mean much.”
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“No, that’s not true, Bennie. It means a lot.”
“Just a report card.”
“But it’s more than that.”
Knowing I was in for it now, I prepared to listen, yet I was not all that inter-
ested. I did not like school very much and there was no reason why I should. Inas-
much as I was the dumbest kid in the class, what did I have to look forward to? The
others laughed at me and made jokes about me every day.
“Education is the only way you’re ever going to escape poverty,” she said.
“It’s the only way you’re ever going to get ahead in life and be successful. Do you
understand that?”
“Yes, Mother,” I mumbled.
“If you keep on getting these kinds of grades you’re going to spend the rest
of your life on skid row, or at best sweeping fl oors in a factory. That’s not the
kind of life that I want for you. That’s not the kind of life that God wants for
you.”
I hung my head, genuinely ashamed. My mother had been raising me and my
older brother, Curtis, by herself. Having only a third-grade education herself, she
knew the value of what she did not have. Daily she drummed into Curtis and me
that we had to do our best in school.
“You’re just not living up to your potential,” she said. “I’ve got two mighty
smart boys and I know they can do better.”
I had done my best—at least I had when I fi rst started at Higgins Elementary
School. How could I do much when I did not understand anything going on in our
class?
In Boston we had attended a parochial school, but I hadn’t learned much because
of a teacher who seemed more interested in talking to another female teacher than in
teaching us. Possibly, this teacher was not solely to blame—perhaps I wasn’t emo-
tionally able to learn much. My parents had separated just before we went to Boston,
when I was eight years old. I loved both my mother and father and went through
considerable trauma* over their separating. For months afterward, I kept thinking
that my parents would get back together, that my daddy would come home again
the way he used to, and that we could be the same old family again—but he never
came back. Consequently, we moved to Boston and lived with Aunt Jean and Uncle
William Avery in a tenement building for two years until Mother had saved enough
money to bring us back to Detroit.
Mother kept shaking the report card at me as she sat on the side of my bed.
“You have to work harder. You have to use that good brain that God gave you,
Bennie. Do you understand that?”
“Yes, Mother.” Each time she paused, I would dutifully say those words.
“I work among rich people, people who are educated,” she said. “I watch how
they act, and I know they can do anything they want to do. And so can you.” She
put her arm on my shoulder. “Bennie, you can do anything they can do—only you
can do it better!”
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Mother had said those words before. Often. At the time, they did not mean
much to me. Why should they? I really believed that I was the dumbest kid in fi fth
grade, but of course, I never told her that.
“I just don’t know what to do about you boys,” she said. “I’m going to talk to
God about you and Curtis.” She paused, stared into space, then said (more to her-
self than to me), “I need the Lord’s guidance on what to do. You just can’t bring in
any more report cards like this.”
As far as I was concerned, the report card matter was over.
The next day was like the previous ones—just another bad day in school, an-
other day of being laughed at because I did not get a single problem right in arith-
metic and couldn’t get any words right on the spelling test. As soon as I came home
from school, I changed into play clothes and ran outside. Most of the boys my age
played softball, or the game I liked best, “Tip the Top.”
We played Tip the Top by placing a bottle cap on one of the sidewalk cracks.
Then taking a ball—any kind that bounced—we’d stand on a line and take turns
throwing the ball at the bottle top, trying to fl ip it over. Whoever succeeded got
two points. If anyone actually moved the cap more than a few inches, he won
fi ve points. Ten points came if he fl ipped it into the air and it landed on the other
side.
When it grew dark or we got tired, Curtis and I would fi nally go inside and
watch TV. The set stayed on until we went to bed. Because Mother worked long
hours, she was never home until just before we went to bed. Sometimes I would
awaken when I heard her unlocking the door.
Two evenings after the incident with the report card, Mother came home about
an hour before our bedtime. Curtis and I were sprawled out, watching TV. She
walked across the room, snapped off the set, and faced both of us. “Boys,” she said,
“you’re wasting too much of your time in front of that television. You don’t get an
education from staring at television all the time.”
Before either of us could make a protest, she told us that she had been praying
for wisdom. “The Lord’s told me what to do,” she said. “So from now on, you will
not watch television, except for two preselected programs each week.”
“Just two programs?” I could hardly believe she would say such a terrible thing. “That’s not—”
“And only after you’ve done your homework. Furthermore, you don’t play outside after school, either, until you’ve done all your homework.”
“Everybody else plays outside right after school,” I said, unable to think of
anything except how bad it would be if I couldn’t play with my friends. “I won’t
have any friends if I stay in the house all the time—”
“That may be,” Mother said, “but everybody else is not going to be as success-
ful as you are—”
“But, Mother—”
“This is what we’re going to do. I asked God for wisdom, and this is the answer
I got.”
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I tried to offer several other arguments, but Mother was fi rm. I glanced at
Curtis, expecting him to speak up, but he did not say anything. He lay on the fl oor,
staring at his feet.
“Don’t worry about everybody else. The whole world is full of ‘everybody
else,’ you know that? But only a few make a signifi cant achievement.”
The loss of TV and play time was bad enough. I got up off the fl oor, feeling as
if everything was against me. Mother wasn’t going to let me play with my friends,
and there would be no more television—almost none, anyway. She was stopping
me from having any fun in life.
“And that isn’t all,” she said. “Come back, Bennie.”
I turned around, wondering what else there could be.
“In addition,” she said, “to doing your homework, you have to read two books
from the library each week. Every single week.”
“Two books? Two?” Even though I was in fi fth grade, I had never read a whole
book in my life.
“Yes, two. When you fi nish reading them, you must write me a book report just
like you do at school. You’re not living up to your potential, so I’m going to see that
you do.”
Usually Curtis, who was two years older, was the more rebellious. But this time
he seemed to grasp the wisdom of what Mother said. He did not say one word.
She stared at Curtis. “You understand?”
He nodded.
“Bennie, is it clear?”
“Yes, Mother.” I agreed to do what Mother told me—it wouldn’t have occurred
to me not to obey—but I did not like it. Mother was being unfair and demanding
more of us than other parents did.
The following day was Thursday. After school, Curtis and I walked to the local
branch of the library. I did not like it much, but then I had not spent that much time
in any library.
We both wandered around a little in the children’s section, not having any idea
about how to select books or which books we wanted to check out.
The librarian came over to us and asked if she could help. We explained that
both of us wanted to check out two books.
“What kind of books would you like to read?” the librarian asked.
“Animals,” I said after thinking about it. “Something about animals.”
“I’m sure we have several that you’d like.” She led me over to a section of
books. She left me and guided Curtis to another section of the room. I fl ipped
through the row of books until I found two that looked easy enough for me to
read. One of them, Chip, the Dam Builder—about a beaver—was the fi rst one I had ever checked out. As soon as I got home, I started to read it. It was the
fi rst book I ever read all the way through even though it took me two nights.
Reluctantly I admitted afterward to Mother that I really had liked reading about
Chip.
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Within a month I could find my way around the children’s section like
someone who had gone there all his life. By then the library staff knew Cur-
tis and me and the kind of books we chose. They often made suggestions.
“Here’s a delightful book about a squirrel,” I remember one of them telling me.
As she told me part of the story, I tried to appear indifferent, but as soon as she
handed it to me, I opened the book and started to read.
Best of all, we became favorites of the librarians. When new books came in
that they thought either of us would enjoy, they held them for us. Soon I became
fascinated as I realized that the library had so many books—and about so many
different subjects.
After the book about the beaver, I chose others about animals—all types of
animals. I read every animal story I could get my hands on. I read books about
wolves, wild dogs, several about squirrels, and a variety of animals that lived in
other countries. Once I had gone through the animal books, I started reading about
plants, then minerals, and fi nally rocks.
My reading books about rocks was the fi rst time the information ever became
practical to me. We lived near the railroad tracks, and when Curtis and I took the
route to school that crossed by the tracks, I began paying attention to the crushed
rock that I noticed between the ties.
As I continued to read more about rocks, I would walk along the tracks, search-
ing for different kinds of stones, and then see if I could identify them.
Often I would take a book with me to make sure that I had labeled each stone
correctly.
“Agate,” I said as I threw the stone. Curtis got tired of my picking up stones
and identifying them, but I did not care because I kept fi nding new stones all the
time. Soon it became my favorite game to walk along the tracks and identify the
varieties of stones. Although I did not realize it, within a very short period of time,
I was actually becoming an expert on rocks.
Two things happened in the second half of fi fth grade that convinced me of the
importance of reading books.
First, our teacher, Mrs. Williamson, had a spelling bee every Friday afternoon.
We’d go through all the words we’d had so far that year. Sometimes she also called
out words that we were supposed to have learned in fourth grade. Without fail, I
always went down on the fi rst word.
One Friday, though, Bobby Farmer, whom everyone acknowledged* as the
smartest kid in our class, had to spell “agriculture” as his fi nal word. As soon as the
teacher pronounced his word, I thought, I can spell that word. Just the day before, I had learned it from reading one of my library books. I spelled it under my breath,
and it was just the way Bobby spelled it.
If I can spell “agriculture,” I’ll bet I can learn to spell any other word in the world. I’ll bet I can learn to spell better than Bobby Farmer. Just that single word, “agriculture,” was enough to give me hope.
The following week, a second thing happened that forever changed my life.
When Mr. Jaeck, the science teacher, was teaching us about volcanoes, he held
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up an object that looked like a piece of
black, glass-like rock. “Does anybody know
what this is? What does it have to do with
volcanoes?”
Immediately, because of my reading, I
recognized the stone. I waited, but none of
my classmates raised their hands. I thought,
This is strange. Not even the smart kids are raising their hands. I raised my hand.
“Yes, Benjamin,” he said.
I heard snickers around me. The other
kids probably thought it was a joke, or that I
was going to say something stupid.
“Obsidian,” I said.
“That’s right!” He tried not to look star-
tled, but it was obvious he hadn’t expected
me to give the correct answer.
“That’s obsidian,” I said, “and it’s
formed by the supercooling of lava when it
hits the water.” Once I had their attention
and realized I knew information no other
student had learned, I began to tell them
everything I knew about the subject of ob-
sidian, lava, lava fl ow, supercooling, and
compacting of the elements.
When I fi nally paused, a voice behind
me whispered, “Is that Bennie Carson?”
“You’re absolutely correct,” Mr. Jaeck
said and he smiled at me. If he had an-
nounced that I’d won a million-dollar lot-
tery, I couldn’t have been more pleased and excited.
“Benjamin, that’s absolutely, absolutely right,” he repeated with enthusiasm
in his voice. He turned to the others and said, “That is wonderful! Class, this is a
tremendous piece of information Benjamin has just given us. I’m very proud to
hear him say this.”
For a few moments, I tasted the thrill of achievement. I recall thinking, Wow, look at them. They’re all looking at me with admiration. Me, the dummy! The one every- body thinks is stupid. They’re looking at me to see if this is really me speaking. Maybe, though, it was I who was the most astonished one in the class. Although
I had been reading two books a week because Mother told me to, I had not realized
how much knowledge I was accumulating. True, I had learned to enjoy reading, but
until then I hadn’t realized how it connected with my schoolwork. That day—for the
fi rst time—I realized that Mother had been right. Reading is the way out of ignorance,
and the road to achievement. I did not have to be the class dummy anymore.
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CARSON’S LIFE BEGAN TO change when his mother required him to read two books a week and write a report on each. Many libraries and schools have programs to encourage children to read during both the school year and the summer. Write a paragraph about whether or not you participated in one of these programs, why you did or did not participate, and whether or not you believe school- or library-sponsored incentive programs work.
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608 Part 5 Readings for Writers
For the next few days, I felt like a hero at school. The jokes about me stopped.
The kids started to listen to me. I’m starting to have fun with this stuff. As my grades improved in every subject, I asked myself, “Ben, is there any rea-
son you can’t be the smartest kid in the class? If you can learn about obsidian, you
can learn about social studies and geography and math and science and everything.”
That single moment of triumph pushed me to want to read more. From then
on, it was as though I could not read enough books. Whenever anyone looked for
me after school, they could usually fi nd me in my bedroom—curled up, reading a
library book—for a long time, the only thing I wanted to do. I had stopped caring
about the TV programs I was missing; I no longer cared about playing Tip the Top
or baseball anymore. I just wanted to read.
In a year and a half—by the middle of sixth grade—I had moved to the top of
the class.
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word trauma in “I loved both my mother and father and went through con- siderable trauma over their separating. For months afterward, I kept thinking
that my parents would get back together, . . . but he never came back” (para-
graph 20) means
a. love.
b. knowledge.
c. distance.
d. suffering.
2. The word acknowledged in “One Friday, though, Bobby Farmer, whom every- one acknowledged as the smartest kid in our class, had to spell ‘agriculture’ as
his fi nal word” (paragraph 67) means
a. denied.
b. recognized.
c. forgot.
d. interrupted.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. The Importance of Fifth Grade
b. The Role of Parents in Education
c. The Day I Surprised My Science Teacher
d. Reading Changed My Life
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2. Which sentence best expresses the main idea of this selection?
a. Children who grow up in single-parent homes may spend large amounts of
time home alone.
b. Because of parental guidance that led to a love of reading, the author was
able to go from academic failure to success.
c. Most children do not take school very seriously, and they suffer as a
result.
d. Today’s young people watch too much television.
3. Bennie’s mother
a. was not a religious person.
b. spoke to Bennie’s teacher about Bennie’s poor report card.
c. had only a third-grade education.
d. had little contact with educated people.
4. To get her sons to do better in school, Mrs. Carson insisted that they
a. stop watching TV.
b. fi nish their homework before playing.
c. read one library book every month.
d. all of the above.
5. True or False? Bennie’s fi rst experience with a library book was discouraging.
6. We can conclude that Bennie Carson believed he was dumb because
a. in Boston he had not learned much.
b. other students laughed at him.
c. he had done his best when he fi rst started at Higgins Elementary School,
but still got poor grades.
d. all of the above.
7. We can conclude that the author’s mother believed
a. education leads to success.
b. her sons needed to be forced to live up to their potential.
c. socializing was less important for her sons than a good education.
d. all of the above.
8. From paragraphs 70–80, we can infer that
a. Bennie thought his classmates were stupid because they did not know
about obsidian.
b. Mr. Jaeck knew less about rocks than Bennie did.
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610 Part 5 Readings for Writers
c. this was the fi rst time Bennie had answered a diffi cult question correctly in
class.
d. Mr. Jaeck thought that Bennie had taken too much class time explaining
about obsidian.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. How do you think considering himself the “dumbest kid in class” affected
Bennie’s schoolwork?
2. The author recalls his failure in the classroom as an eight-year-old child by
writing, “perhaps I wasn’t emotionally able to learn much” (paragraph 20).
Why does he make this statement? What do you think parents and schools can
do to help children through diffi cult times?
3. How did Mrs. Carson encourage Bennie to make school—particularly
reading—a priority in his life? What effect did her efforts have on Bennie’s
academic performance and self-esteem?
4. As a child, Carson began to feel confi dent about his own abilities when he fol-
lowed his mother’s guidelines. How might Mrs. Carson’s methods help adult
students build up their own self-confi dence and motivation?
About Structure 5. What is the main order in which the details of this selection are organized—
time order or emphatic order? Locate and write below three of the many transi-
tions that are used as part of that time order or emphatic order.
6. In paragraph 65, Carson states, “Two things happened in the second half of
fi fth grade that convinced me of the importance of reading books.” What two
transitions does Carson use in later paragraphs to help readers recognize those
two events? Write those two transitions here:
About Style and Tone 7. Instead of describing his mother, Carson reveals her character through specifi c
details of her actions and words. Find one paragraph in which this technique
is used, and write its number here: . What does this paragraph tell us
about Mrs. Carson?
8. Why do you suppose Carson italicizes sentences in paragraphs 67, 68, 71, 80,
and 82? What purpose do the italicized sentences serve?
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WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph The reading tells about some of Carson’s most important school experiences, both
positive and negative. Write a paragraph about one of your most important experi-
ences in school. To select an event to write about, consider the following questions
and discuss them in groups of two or three:
• Which teachers or events in school infl uenced how I felt about myself?
• What specifi c incidents stand out in my mind as I think back to elementary
school?
To get started, you might use freewriting to help you remember and record the
details. Then begin your draft with a topic sentence similar to one of the following:
A seemingly small experience in elementary school encouraged me greatly. If not for my sixth-grade teacher, I would not be where I am today. My tenth-grade English class was a turning point in my life.
Use concrete details—actions, comments, reactions, and so on—to help your read-
ers see what happened.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Reading helped Bennie, and it can do a lot for adults, too. Most of us, however,
don’t have someone around to make us do a certain amount of personal reading
every week. In addition, many of us don’t have as much free time as Bennie and
Curtis had. How can adults fi nd time to read more? Write a paragraph listing sev-
eral ways adults can add more reading to their lives.
To get started, simply write down as many ways as you can think of—in any
order. Here is an example of a prewriting list for this paper:
Situations in which adults can fi nd extra time to read:
• Riding to and from work or school
• In bed at night before turning off the light
• While eating breakfast or lunch
• Instead of watching some TV
• In the library
Feel free to use items from the list above, but see if you can add at least one or
two of your own points as well. Use descriptions and examples to emphasize and
dramatize your supporting details.
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Mrs. Carson discovered an effective way to boost her children’s achievement and
self-confi dence. There are other ways as well. Write an essay whose thesis state-
ment is “There are several ways parents can help children live up to their potential.”
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612 Part 5 Readings for Writers
Then, in the following paragraphs, explain and illustrate two or three methods
parents can use. In choosing material for your supporting paragraphs, you might
consider some of these areas, or think of others on your own:
• Assigning regular household “chores” and rewarding a good job
• Encouraging kids to join an organization that fosters achievement: Scouts,
Little League, religious group, or neighborhood service club
• Going to parent-teacher conferences at school and then working more closely
with children’s teachers—knowing when assignments are due, and so on
• Giving a child some responsibility for an enjoyable family activity, such as
choosing decorations or food for a birthday party
• Setting up a “Wall of Fame” in the home where children’s artwork,
successful schoolwork, and so on, can be displayed
• Setting guidelines (as Mrs. Carson did) for use of leisure time, homework
time, and the like
Draw on examples from your own experiences or from someone else’s—including
those of a classmate or Bennie Carson, if you like.
Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name James Lincoln Collier
PREVIEW
What is your basis for making personal decisions? Do you aim to rock the boat as little as possible, choosing
the easy, familiar path? There is comfort in sticking with what is safe and well known, just as there is comfort in eating bland mashed potatoes. But James Lin- coln Collier, author of numerous articles and books, decided soon after leaving college not to live a mashed-potato sort of life. In this essay, fi rst published in Reader’s Digest, he tells how he learned to recognize the marks of a potentially exciting, growth-inducing experience, to set aside his anxiety, and to dive in.
Between my sophomore and junior years at college, a chance came up for me
to spend the summer vacation working on a ranch in Argentina. My roommate’s
father was in the cattle business, and he wanted Ted to see something of it. Ted said
he would go if he could take a friend, and he chose me.
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The idea of spending two months on the fabled Argentine pampas was excit-
ing. Then I began having second thoughts. I had never been very far from New
England, and I had been homesick my fi rst weeks at college. What would it be
like in a strange country? What about the language? And besides, I had promised
to teach my younger brother to sail that summer. The more I thought about it, the
more the prospect daunted* me. I began waking up nights in a sweat.
In the end I turned down the proposition. As soon as Ted asked somebody else
to go, I began kicking myself. A couple of weeks later I went home to my old sum-
mer job, unpacking cartons at the local supermarket, feeling very low. I had turned
down something I wanted to do because I was scared, and I had ended up feeling
depressed. I stayed that way for a long time. And it didn’t help when I went back
to college in the fall to discover that Ted and his friend had had a terrifi c time.
In the long run that unhappy summer taught me a valuable lesson out of which
I developed a rule for myself: do what makes you anxious, don’t do what makes you depressed. I am not, of course, talking about severe states of anxiety or depression, which
require medical attention. What I mean is that kind of anxiety we call stage fright,
butterfl ies in the stomach, a case of nerves—the feelings we have at a job interview,
when we’re giving a big party, when we have to make an important presentation at
the offi ce. And the kind of depression I am referring to is that downhearted feeling
of the blues, when we don’t seem to be interested in anything, when we can’t get
going and seem to have no energy.
I was confronted by this sort of situation toward the end of my senior year. As
graduation approached, I began to think about taking a crack at making my living
as a writer. But one of my professors was urging me to apply to graduate school
and aim at a teaching career.
I wavered. The idea of trying to live by writing was scary—a lot more scary
than spending a summer on the pampas, I thought. Back and forth I went, making
my decision, unmaking it. Suddenly, I realized that every time I gave up the idea of
writing, that sinking feeling went through me; it gave me the blues.
The thought of graduate school wasn’t what depressed me. It was giving up on
what deep in my gut I really wanted to do. Right then I learned another lesson. To
avoid that kind of depression meant, inevitably, having to endure a certain amount
of worry and concern.
The great Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard believed that anxiety always
arises when we confront the possibility of our own development. It seems to be a rule
of life that you can’t advance without getting that old, familiar, jittery feeling.
Even as children we discover this when we try to expand ourselves by, say, learn-
ing to ride a bike or going out for the school play. Later in life we get butterfl ies when
we think about having that fi rst child, or uprooting the family from the old hometown
to fi nd a better opportunity halfway across the country. Anytime, it seems, that we set
out aggressively to get something we want, we meet up with anxiety. And it’s going
to be our traveling companion, at least part of the way, in any new venture.
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When I fi rst began writing magazine articles, I was frequently required to inter-
view big names—people like Richard Burton, Joan Rivers, sex authority William
Masters, baseball great Dizzy Dean. Before each interview I would get butterfl ies
and my hands would shake.
At the time, I was doing some writing about music. And one person I particu-
larly admired was the great composer Duke Ellington. On stage and on television,
he seemed the very model of the confi dent, sophisticated man of the world. Then I
learned that Ellington still got stage fright. If the highly honored Duke Ellington,
who had appeared on the bandstand some ten thousand times over thirty years, had
anxiety attacks, who was I to think I could avoid them?
I went on doing those frightening interviews, and one day, as I was getting onto
a plane for Washington to interview columnist Joseph Alsop, I suddenly realized to
my astonishment that I was looking forward to the meeting. What had happened to
those butterfl ies?
Well, in truth, they were still there, but there were fewer of them. I had ben-
efi ted, I discovered, from a process psychologists call “extinction.” If you put an
individual in an anxiety-provoking situation often enough, he will eventually learn
that there isn’t anything to be worried about.
Which brings us to a corollary* to my basic rule: you’ll never eliminate anxiety by avoiding the things that caused it. I remember how my son Jeff was when I fi rst began to teach him to swim at the lake cottage where we spent our summer vaca-
tions. He resisted, and when I got him into the water he sank and sputtered and
wanted to quit. But I was insistent. And by summer’s end he was splashing around
like a puppy. He had “extinguished” his anxiety the only way he could—by con-
fronting it.
The problem, of course, is that it is one thing to urge somebody else to take on
those anxiety-producing challenges; it is quite another to get ourselves to do it.
Some years ago I was offered a writing assignment that would require three
months of travel through Europe. I had been abroad a couple of times on the usual
“If it’s Tuesday this must be Belgium”1 trips, but I hardly could claim to know
my way around the continent. Moreover, my knowledge of foreign languages was
limited to a little college French.
I hesitated. How would I, unable to speak the language, totally unfamiliar with
local geography or transportation systems, set up interviews and do research? It
seemed impossible, and with considerable regret I sat down to write a letter beg-
ging off. Halfway through, a thought—which I subsequently made into another
corollary to my basic rule—ran through my mind: you can’t learn if you don’t try. So I accepted the assignment.
There were some bad moments. But by the time I had fi nished the trip I was
an experienced traveler. And ever since, I have never hesitated to head for even the
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1Reference to a fi lm comedy about a group of American tourists who visited too many European countries in too
little time.
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most exotic of places, without guides or even advance bookings, confi dent that
somehow I will manage.
The point is that the new, the different, is almost by defi nition scary. But each time
you try something, you learn, and as the learning piles up, the world opens to you.
I’ve made parachute jumps, learned to ski at forty, fl own up the Rhine in a
balloon. And I know I’m going to go on doing such things. It’s not because I’m
braver or more daring than others. I’m not. But I don’t let the butterfl ies stop me
from doing what I want. Accept anxiety as another name for challenge, and you
can accomplish wonders.
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word daunted in “The more I thought about [going to Argentina], the more the prospect daunted me. I began waking up nights in a sweat” (paragraph 2) means
a. encouraged.
b. interested.
c. discouraged.
d. amused.
2. The word corollary in “Which brings us to a corollary to my basic rule: you’ll never eliminate anxiety by avoiding the things that caused it” (paragraph 15) means
a. an idea that follows from another idea.
b. an idea based on a falsehood.
c. an idea that creates anxiety.
d. an idea passed on from one generation to another.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. A Poor Decision
b. Don’t Let Anxiety Stop You
c. Becoming a Writer
d. The Courage to Travel
2. Which sentence best expresses the main idea of the selection?
a. The butterfl ies-in-the-stomach type of anxiety differs greatly from severe
states of anxiety or depression.
b. Taking on a job assignment that required traveling helped the author get
over his anxiety.
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c. People learn and grow by confronting, not backing away from, situations
that make them anxious.
d. Anxiety is a predictable part of life that can be dealt with in positive ways.
3. When a college friend invited the writer to go with him to Argentina, the writer
a. turned down the invitation.
b. accepted eagerly.
c. was very anxious about the idea but went anyway.
d. did not believe his friend was serious.
4. True or False? As graduation approached, Collier’s professor urged him to try to make his living as a writer.
5. True or False? The philosopher Søren Kierkegaard believed that anxiety occurs when we face the possibility of our own development.
6. Extinction is the term psychologists use for
a. the inborn tendency to avoid situations that make one feel very anxious.
b. a person’s gradual loss of confi dence.
c. the natural development of a child’s abilities.
d. the process of losing one’s fear by continuing to face the anxiety-inspiring
situation.
7. The author implies that
a. it was lucky he didn’t take the summer job in Argentina.
b. his son never got over his fear of the water.
c. Duke Ellington’s facing stage fright inspired him.
d. one has to be more daring than most people to overcome anxiety.
8. The author implies that
a. anxiety may be a signal that one has an opportunity to grow.
b. he considers his three-month trip to Europe a failure.
c. facing what makes him anxious has eliminated all depression from his life.
d. he no longer has anxiety about new experiences.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. Collier developed the rule “Do what makes you anxious, don’t do what makes
you depressed” (paragraph 4). How does he distinguish between feeling anx-
ious and feeling depressed?
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2. With a partner, discuss the following questions, and then share your ideas
with the whole class: In what way does Collier believe that anxiety is posi-
tive? How, according to him, can we eventually overcome our fears? Have
you ever gone ahead and done something that made you anxious? How did it
turn out?
About Structure 3. Collier provides a rule and two corollary rules that describe his attitude to-
ward challenge and anxiety. Below, write the location of that rule and its
corollaries.
Collier’s rule: paragraph
First corollary: paragraph
Second corollary: paragraph
How does Collier emphasize the rule and its corollaries?
4. Collier uses several personal examples in his essay. Find three instances of
these examples and explain how each helps Collier develop his main point.
About Style and Tone 5. In paragraph 3, Collier describes the aftermath of his decision not to go to
Argentina. He could have just written, “I worked that summer.” Instead he
writes, “I went home to my old summer job, unpacking cartons at the local
supermarket.” Why do you think he provides that bit of detail about his job?
What is the effect on the reader?
6. Authors often use testimony by authorities to support their points. Where in
Collier’s essay does he use such support? What do you think it adds to his
piece?
7. In the last sentence of paragraph 10, Collier refers to anxiety as a “traveling
companion.” Why do you think he uses that image? What does it convey about
his view of anxiety?
8. Is Collier just telling about a lesson he has learned for himself, or is he encour-
aging his readers to do something? How can you tell?
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Collier explains how his life experiences made him view the term anxiety in a new way. Write a paragraph in which you explain how a personal experience of yours
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618 Part 5 Readings for Writers
has given new meaning to a particular term. Following are some terms you might
consider for this assignment:
Failure Homesickness
Friendship Maturity
Goals Success
Here are two sample topic sentences for this assignment:
I used to think of failure as something terrible, but thanks to a helpful boss, I now think of it as an opportunity to learn.
The word creativity has taken on a new meaning for me ever since I became interested in dancing.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph The second corollary to Collier’s rule is “You can’t learn if you don’t try”
(paragraph 18). Write a paragraph using this idea as your main idea. First, you will
need to fi nd a topic that could be developed using this idea. For instance, you could
write a paragraph about the amount of time and practice a particular professional mu-
sician has put in to become the accomplished artist he or she is, including any failures
he or she may have had. Alternately, you might write a paragraph about how a student
can learn to take useful lecture notes through trial and error. To support your topic,
fi nd factual details through research or by interviewing someone who is an expert in
this area. For example, if you decide to write a paragraph about how to come across
well in a college admissions interview, talking to an admissions representative from
your college would provide good, expert advice to support your paragraph.
To get your started, below is a list of things adults often need to go to some
trouble to learn.
• Driving with a stick shift
• Effi ciently studying for an exam
• Knowing how to do well on a job interview
• Planning a trip abroad
• Making a presentation
• Effectively canvassing for a cause
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Collier describes three rules he follows when facing anxiety. In an essay, write
about one or more rules, or guidelines, that you have developed for yourself
through experience. If you decide to discuss two or three such guidelines, men-
tion or refer to them in your introductory paragraph. Then go on to discuss each
in one or more paragraphs of its own. Include at least one experience that led you
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to develop a given guideline, and tell how it has helped you at other times in your
life. You might end with a brief summary and an explanation of how the guidelines
as a group have helped. If you decide to focus on one rule, include at least two or
three experiences that help to illustrate your point.
To prepare for this assignment, spend some time freewriting about the rules or
guidelines you have set up for yourself. Continue writing until you feel you have
a central idea for which you have plenty of interesting support. Then organize that
support into a scratch outline, such as this one:
Thesis: I have one rule that keeps me from staying in a rut—Don’t let the size of a challenge deter you; instead, aim for it by making plans and taking steps.
Topic sentence 1: I began to think about my rule one summer in high school when a friend got the type of summer job that I had only been thinking about.
Topic sentence 2: After high school, I began to live up to my rule when I aimed for a business career and entered college.
Topic sentence 3: My rule is also responsible for my having the wonderful boyfriend (or girlfriend or spouse or job) I now have.
Let’s Really Reform Our Schools Anita Garland
PREVIEW
A few years ago, the National Commission on Excellence in Education pub- lished A Nation at Risk, in which commission members described what they saw as a “rising tide of mediocrity” in our schools. Other studies have pointed to stu- dents’ poor achievement in science, math, communication, and critical thinking. What can our schools do to improve students’ performance? Anita Garland has several radical ideas, which she explains in this selection. As you read it, think about whether or not you agree with her points.
American high schools are in trouble. No, that’s not strong enough. American
high schools are disasters. “Good” schools today are only a rite of passage for
American kids, where the pressure to look fashionable and act cool outweighs any
concern for learning. And “bad” schools—heaven help us—are havens for the vi-
cious and corrupt. There, metal detectors and security guards wage a losing battle
against the criminals that prowl the halls.
Desperate illnesses require desperate remedies. And our public schools are
desperately ill. What is needed is no meek, fainthearted attempt at “curriculum
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620 Part 5 Readings for Writers
revision” or “student-centered learning.” We need to completely restructure our
thinking about what schools are and what we expect of the students who attend
them.
The fi rst change needed to save our schools is the most fundamental one. Not
only must we stop forcing everyone to attend school; we must stop allowing the attendance of so-called students who are not interested in studying. Mandatory
school attendance is based upon the idea that every American has a right to basic
education. But as the old saying goes, your rights stop where the next guy’s begin.
A student who sincerely wants an education, regardless of his or her mental or
physical ability, should be welcome in any school in this country. But “students”
who deliberately interfere with other students’ ability to learn, teachers’ ability to
teach, and administrators’ ability to maintain order should be denied a place in the
classroom. They do not want an education. And they should not be allowed to mark
time within school walls, waiting to be handed their meaningless diplomas while
they make it harder for everyone around them to either provide or receive a quality
education.
By requiring troublemakers to attend school, we have made it impossible to
deal with them in any effective way. They have little to fear in terms of punish-
ment. Suspension from school for a few days doesn’t improve their behavior. After
all, they don’t want to be in school anyway. For that matter, mandatory attendance
is, in many cases, nothing but a bad joke. Many chronic troublemakers are absent
so often that it is virtually impossible for them to learn anything. And when they
are in school, they are busy shaking down other students for their lunch money or jewelry. If we permanently banned such punks from school, educators could turn
their attention away from the troublemakers and toward those students who realize
that school is a serious place for serious learning.
You may ask, “What will become of these young people who aren’t in school?”
But consider this: What is becoming of them now? They are not being educated.
They are merely names on the school records. They are passed from grade to grade,
learning nothing, making teachers and fellow students miserable. Finally they are
bumped off the conveyor belt at the end of twelfth grade, oftentimes barely literate,
and passed into society as “high school graduates.” Yes, there would be a need for
alternative solutions for these young people. Let the best thinkers of our country
come up with some ideas. But in the meanwhile, don’t allow our schools to serve as
a holding tank for people who don’t want to be there.
Once our schools have been returned to the control of teachers and genuine
students, we could concentrate on smaller but equally meaningful reforms. A good
place to start would be requiring students to wear school uniforms. There would
be cries of horror from the fashion slaves, but the change would benefi t everyone.
If students wore uniforms, think of the mental energy that could be redirected into
more productive channels. No longer would young girls feel the need to spend their
evenings laying out coordinated clothing, anxiously trying to create just the right
look. The daily fashion show that currently absorbs so much of students’ attention
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would come to a halt. Kids from modest backgrounds could stand out because of
their personalities and intelligence, rather than being tagged as losers because they
can’t wear the season’s hottest sneakers or jeans. Affl uent* kids might learn they
have something to offer the world other than a fashion statement. Parents would be
relieved of the pressure to deal with their offspring’s constant demands for ward-
robe additions.
Next, let’s move to the cafeteria. What’s for lunch today? How about a Milky
Way bar, a bag of Fritos, a Coke, and just to round out the meal with a vegetable,
maybe some french fries. And then back to the classroom for a few hours of
intense mental activity, fueled on fat, salt, and sugar. What a joke! School is an
institution of education, and that education should be continued as students sit
down to eat. Here’s a perfect opportunity to teach a whole generation of Ameri-
cans about nutrition, and we are blowing it. School cafeterias, of all places, should
demonstrate how a healthful, low-fat, well-balanced diet produces healthy, ener-
getic, mentally alert people. Instead, we allow school cafeterias to dispense the
same junk food that kids could buy in any mall. Overhaul the cafeterias! Out
with the candy, soda, chips, and fries! In with the salads, whole grains, fruits, and
vegetables!
Turning our attention away from what goes on during school hours, let’s
consider what happens after the fi nal bell rings. Some school-sponsored activi-
ties are all to the good. Bands and choirs, foreign-language fi eld trips, chess or
skiing or drama clubs are sensible parts of an extracurricular plan. They bring
together kids with similar interests to develop their talents and leadership abil-
ity. But other common school activities are not the business of education. The
prime example of inappropriate school activity is in competitive sports between
schools.
Intramural sports are great. Students need an outlet for their energies, and friendly
competition against one’s classmates on the basketball court or baseball diamond is
fun and physically benefi cial. But the wholesome fun of sports is quickly ruined by the
competitive team system. School athletes quickly become the campus idols, encour-
aged to look down on classmates with less physical ability. Schools concentrate enor-
mous amounts of time, money, and attention upon their teams, driving home the point
that competitive sports are the really important part of school. Students are herded into gymnasiums for “pep rallies” that whip up adoration of the chosen few and en-
courage hatred of rival schools. Boys’ teams are supplied with squads of cheerleading
girls . . . let’s not even get into what the subliminal message is there. If communities feel they must have competitive sports, let local businesses or even professional teams
organize and fund the programs. But school budgets and time should be spent on pro-
grams that benefi t more than an elite few.
Another school-related activity that should get the ax is the fl uff-headed,
money-eating, misery-inducing event known as the prom. How in the world did
the schools of America get involved in this showcase of excess? Proms have to be
the epitome of everything that is wrong, tasteless, misdirected, inappropriate, and
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just plain sad about the way we bring up our young people. Instead of simply let-
ting the kids put on a dance, we’ve turned the prom into a bloated nightmare that
ruins young people’s budgets, their self-image, and even their lives. The pressure
to show up at the prom with the best-looking date, in the most expensive clothes,
wearing the most exotic fl owers, riding in the most extravagant form of trans-
portation, dominates the thinking of many students for months before the prom
itself. Students cling to doomed, even abusive romantic relationships rather than
risk being dateless for this night of nights. They lose any concept of meaningful
values as they implore* their parents for more, more, more money to throw into
the jaws of the prom god. The adult trappings of the prom—the slinky dresses,
emphasis on romance, slow dancing, nightclub atmosphere—all encourage kids
to engage in behavior that can have tragic consequences. Who knows how many
unplanned pregnancies and alcohol-related accidents can be directly attributed to
the pressures of prom night? And yet, not going to the prom seems a fate worse
than death to many young people—because of all the hype about the “wonder”
and “romance” of it all. Schools are not in the business of providing wonder and
romance, and it’s high time we remembered that.
We have lost track of the purpose of our schools. They are not intended to
be centers for fun, entertainment, and social climbing. They are supposed to be
institutions for learning and hard work. Let’s institute the changes suggested
here—plus dozens more—without apology, and get American schools back to
business.
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word affl uent in “Kids from modest backgrounds could stand out because of their personalities and intelligence. . . . Affl uent kids might learn they have
something to offer the world other than a fashion statement” (paragraph 6)
means
a. intelligent.
b. troubled.
c. wealthy.
d. poor.
2. The word implore in “They lose any concept of meaningful values as they im- plore their parents for more, more, more money to throw into the jaws of the
prom god” (paragraph 10) means
a. beg.
b. ignore.
c. pay.
d. obey.
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READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. America’s Youth
b. Education of the Future
c. Social Problems of Today’s Students
d. Changes Needed in the American School System
2. Which sentence best expresses the main idea of the selection?
a. Excesses such as the prom and competitive sports should be eliminated
from school budgets.
b. Major changes are needed to make American schools real centers of
learning.
c. Attendance must be voluntary in our schools.
d. The best thinkers of our country must come up with ideas on how to im-
prove our schools.
3. Garland believes that mandatory attendance at school
a. gives all students an equal chance at getting an education.
b. allows troublemakers to disrupt learning.
c. is cruel to those who don’t really want to be there.
d. helps teachers maintain control of their classes.
4. Garland is against school-sponsored competitive sports because she believes that
a. exercise and teamwork should not have a role in school.
b. they overemphasize the importance of sports and athletes.
c. school property should not be used in any way after school hours.
d. they take away from professional sports.
5. We can infer that Garland believes
a. teens should not have dances.
b. proms promote unwholesome values.
c. teens should avoid romantic relationships.
d. proms are even worse than mandatory education.
6. The author clearly implies that troublemakers
a. are not intelligent.
b. really do want to be in school.
c. should be placed in separate classes.
d. don’t mind being suspended from school.
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7. True or False? We can conclude that the author feels that teachers and genuine students have lost control of our schools.
8. The essay suggests that the author would also oppose
a. school plays.
b. serving milk products in school cafeterias.
c. the selection of homecoming queens.
d. stylish school uniforms.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. What reforms does Garland suggest in her essay? Think back to your high
school days. Which of the reforms that Garland suggests do you think might
have been most useful at your high school?
2. Garland’s idea of voluntary school attendance directly contradicts the “stay
in school” campaigns. Do you agree with her idea? What do you think might
become of students who choose not to attend school?
3. At the end of her essay, Garland writes, “Let’s institute the changes suggested
here—plus dozens more.” What other changes do you think Garland may have
in mind? What are some reforms you think might improve schools?
About Structure 4. The thesis of this essay can be found in the introduction, which is made up of
the fi rst two paragraphs. Find the thesis statement and write it here:
5. The fi rst point on Garland’s list of reforms is the elimination of mandatory
(that is, required) education. Then she goes on to discuss other reforms. Find
the transition sentence that signals that she is leaving the discussion about
mandatory education and going on to other needed changes. Write that sen-
tence here:
6. What are two transitional words that Garland uses to introduce two of the other
reforms?
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About Style and Tone 7. Garland uses some colorful images to communicate her ideas. For instance,
in paragraph 5 she writes, “Finally [the troublemakers] are bumped off the
conveyor belt at the end of twelfth grade, oftentimes barely literate, and passed
into society as ‘high school graduates.’” What does the image of a conveyor
belt imply about schools and about the troublemakers? What do the quotation
marks around high school graduates imply?
8. What do the italicized words in the following three colorful images from the
essay imply about today’s schools and students?
. . . don’t allow our schools to serve as a holding tank for people who don’t want to be there. (paragraph 5)
A good place to start would be requiring students to wear school uniforms.
There would be cries of horror from the fashion slaves . . . (paragraph 6)
Students are herded into gymnasiums for “pep rallies” that whip up adora- tion of the chosen few . . . (paragraph 9)
9. To convey her points, does the author use a formal, straightforward tone or an
informal, impassioned tone? Give examples from the essay to support your
answer.
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Write a persuasive paragraph in which you agree or disagree with one of Garland’s
suggested reforms. Your topic sentence may be something simple and direct, like
these:
I strongly agree with Garland’s point that attendance should be voluntary in our high schools.
I disagree with Garland’s point that high school students should be required to wear uniforms.
Alternatively, you may want to develop your own paragraph calling for reform
in some other area of American life. Your topic sentence might be like one of the
following:
We need to make radical changes in our treatment of homeless people.
Strong new steps must be taken to control the sale of guns in our country.
Major changes are needed to keep television from dominating the lives of our children.
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Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph If troublemakers were excluded from schools, what would become of those trou-
blemakers? Write a paragraph in which you suggest two or three types of programs
that troublemakers could be assigned to. Explain why each program would be ben-
efi cial to the troublemakers themselves and to society in general. You might want
to include in your paragraph one or more of the following:
• Apprentice programs
• Special neighborhood schools for troublemakers
• Reform schools
• Work-placement programs
• Community service programs
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Garland suggests ways to make schools “institutions for learning and hard work”
(paragraph 11). She wants to get rid of anything that greatly distracts students from
their education, such as having to deal with troublemakers, overemphasis on fash-
ion, and interschool athletics. When you were in high school, what tended most
to divert your attention from learning? Write an essay explaining in full detail the
three things that interfered most with your high school education. You may include
any of Garland’s points, but present details that apply specifi cally to you. Orga-
nize your essay by using emphatic order—in other words, save whatever interfered
most with your education for the last supporting paragraph.
It is helpful to write a sentence outline for this kind of essay. Here, for example,
is one writer’s outline for an essay titled “Obstacles to My High School Education.”
Thesis: There were three main things that interfered with my high school education.
Topic sentence 1: Concern about my appearance took up too much of my time and energy.
a. Since I was concerned about my looking good, I spent too much time shopping for clothes.
b. In order to afford the clothes, I worked twenty hours a week, drastically reducing my study time.
c. Spending even more time on clothes, I fussed every evening over what I would wear to school the next day.
Topic sentence 2: Cheerleading was another major obstacle to my academic progress in high school.
a. I spent many hours practicing in order to make the cheerleading squad.
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b. Once I made the squad, I had to spend even more time practicing and then attending games.
c. Once when I didn’t make the squad, I was so depressed for a while that I couldn’t study, and this had serious consequences.
Topic sentence 3: The main thing that interfered with my high school education was my family situation.
a. Even when I had time to study, I often found it impossible to do so at home, since my parents often had fi ghts that were noisy and upsetting.
b. My parents showed little interest in my schoolwork, giving me little reason to work hard for my classes.
c. When I was in eleventh grade, my parents divorced; this was a major distraction for me for a long time.
To round off your essay with a conclusion, you may simply want to restate
your thesis and main supporting points. After you fi nish a fi rst draft, swap essays
with a classmate and share revision advice; use the checklist on the inside back
cover to guide your critique.
How Th ey Get You to Do Th at Janny Scott
PREVIEW
So you think you’re sailing along in life, making deci- sions based on your own preferences? Not likely! Janny
Scott brings together the fi ndings of several researchers to show how advertisers, charitable organizations, politicians, employers, and even your friends get you to say “yes” when you should have said “no”—or, at least, “Let me think about that.”
The woman in the supermarket in a white coat tenders a free sample of “lite”
cheese. A car salesman suggests that prices won’t stay low for long. Even a
penny will help, pleads the door-to-door solicitor. Sale ends Sunday! Will work
for food.
The average American exists amid a perpetual torrent of propaganda. Everyone,
it sometimes seems, is trying to make up someone else’s mind. If it isn’t an athletic
shoe company, it’s a politician, a panhandler, a pitchman, a boss, a billboard com-
pany, a spouse.
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628 Part 5 Readings for Writers
The weapons of infl uence they are wielding* are more sophisticated than ever,
researchers say. And they are aimed at a vulnerable target—people with less and
less time to consider increasingly complex issues.
As a result, some experts in the fi eld have begun warning the public, tipping
people off to precisely how “the art of compliance” works. Some critics have taken to
arguing for new government controls on one pervasive form of persuasion—political
advertising.
The persuasion problem is “the essential dilemma of modern democracy,”
argue social psychologists Anthony Pratkanis and Elliot Aronson, the authors of
Age of Propaganda: The Everyday Use and Abuse of Persuasion. As the two psychologists see it, American society values free speech and
public discussion, but people no longer have the time or inclination to pay at-
tention. Mindless propaganda fl ourishes, they say; thoughtful persuasion fades
away.
The problem stems from what Pratkanis and Aronson call our “message-dense
environment.” The average television viewer sees nearly 38,000 commercials a
year, they say. “The average home receives . . . [numerous] pieces of junk mail an-
nually and . . . [countless calls] from telemarketing fi rms.”
Bumper stickers, billboards and posters litter the public consciousness. Ath-
letic events and jazz festivals carry corporate labels. As direct selling proliferates,
workers patrol their offi ces during lunch breaks, peddling chocolate and Tupper-
ware to friends.
Meanwhile, information of other sorts multiplies exponentially. Technology
serves up ever-increasing quantities of data on every imaginable subject, from
home security to health. With more and more information available, people have
less and less time to digest it.
“It’s becoming harder and harder to think in a considered way about any-
thing,” said Robert Cialdini, a persuasion researcher at Arizona State University in
Tempe. “More and more, we are going to be deciding on the basis of less and less
information.”
Persuasion is a democratic society’s chosen method for decision making
and dispute resolution. But the fl ood of persuasive messages in recent years has
changed the nature of persuasion. Lengthy arguments have been supplanted by
slogans and logos. In a world teeming with propaganda, those in the business of
infl uencing others put a premium on effective shortcuts.
Most people, psychologists say, are easily seduced by such shortcuts. Humans are
“cognitive misers,” always looking to conserve attention and mental energy—leaving
themselves at the mercy of anyone who has fi gured out which shortcuts work.
The task of fi guring out shortcuts has been embraced by advertising agencies,
market researchers, and millions of salespeople. The public, meanwhile, remains
in the dark, ignorant of even the simplest principles of social infl uence.
As a result, laypeople underestimate their susceptibility to persuasion, psychol-
ogists say. They imagine their actions are dictated simply by personal preferences.
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Unaware of the techniques being used against them, they are often unwittingly
outgunned.
As Cialdini tells it, the most powerful tactics work like jujitsu: They draw their
strength from deep-seated, unconscious psychological rules. The clever “compli-
ance professional” deliberately triggers these “hidden stores of infl uence” to elicit
a predictable response.
One such rule, for example, is that people are more likely to comply with a
request if a reason—no matter how silly—is given. To prove that point, one re-
searcher tested different ways of asking people in line at a copying machine to let
her cut the line.
When the researcher asked simply, “Excuse me, I have fi ve pages. May I use
the Xerox machine?” only 60 percent of those asked complied. But when she added
nothing more than “because I have to make some copies,” nearly every one agreed.
The simple addition of “because” unleashed an automatic response, even
though “because” was followed by an irrelevant reason, Cialdini said. By asking
the favor in that way, the researcher dramatically increased the likelihood of get-
ting what she wanted.
Cialdini and others say much of human behavior is mechanical. Automatic
responses are effi cient when time and attention are short. For that reason, many
techniques of persuasion are designed and tested for their ability to trigger those
automatic responses.
“These appeals persuade not through the give-and-take of argument and de-
bate,” Pratkanis and Aronson have written. “. . . They often appeal to our deep-
est fears and most irrational hopes, while they make use of our most simplistic
beliefs.”
Life insurance agents use fear to sell policies, Pratkanis and Aronson say. Par-
ents use fear to convince their children to come home on time. Political leaders use
fear to build support for going to war—for example, comparing a foreign leader to
Adolf Hitler.
As many researchers see it, people respond to persuasion in one of two ways: If
an issue they care about is involved, they may pay close attention to the arguments;
if they don’t care, they pay less attention and are more likely to be infl uenced by
simple cues.
Their level of attention depends on motivation and the time available. As David
Boninger, a UCLA psychologist, puts it, “If you don’t have the time or motivation,
or both, you will pay attention to more peripheral* cues, like how nice somebody
looks.”
Cialdini, a dapper man with a fl at Midwestern accent, describes himself as an
inveterate sucker. From an early age, he said recently, he had wondered what made
him say yes in many cases when the answer, had he thought about it, should have
been no.
So in the early 1980s, he became “a spy in the wars of infl uence.” He took a sab-
batical and, over a three-year period, enrolled in dozens of sales training programs,
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630 Part 5 Readings for Writers
learning fi rsthand the tricks of selling insurance, cars, vacuum cleaners, encyclope-
dias, and more.
He learned how to sell portrait photography over the telephone. He took a job
as a busboy in a restaurant, observing the waiters. He worked in fund-raising, ad-
vertising, and public relations. And he interviewed cult recruiters and members of
bunco squads.
By the time it was over, Cialdini had witnessed hundreds of tactics. But he
found that the most effective ones were rooted in six principles. Most are not new,
but they are being used today with greater sophistication on people whose fast-
paced lifestyle has lowered their defenses.
Reciprocity People have been trained to believe that a favor must be repaid in kind, even if the original favor was not requested. The cultural pressure to return
a favor is so intense that people go along rather than suffer the feeling of being
indebted.
Politicians have learned that favors are repaid with votes. Stores offer free
samples—not just to show off a product. Charity organizations ship personalized
address labels to potential contributors. Others accost pedestrians, planting paper
fl owers in their lapels.
Commitment and Consistency People tend to feel they should be consistent— even when being consistent no longer makes sense. While consistency is easy,
comfortable, and generally advantageous, Cialdini says, “mindless consistency”
can be exploited.
Take the “foot in the door technique.” One person gets another to agree to a small
commitment, like a down payment or signing a petition. Studies show that it then
becomes much easier to get the person to comply with a much larger request.
Another example Cialdini cites is the “lowball tactic” in car sales. Offered a
low price for a car, the potential customer agrees. Then at the last minute, the sales
manager fi nds a supposed error. The price is increased. But customers tend to go
along nevertheless.
Social Validation People often decide what is correct on the basis of what other people think. Studies show that is true for behavior. Hence, sitcom laugh tracks, tip
jars “salted” with a bartender’s cash, long lines outside nightclubs, testimonials,
and “man on the street” ads.
Tapping the power of social validation is especially effective under certain con-
ditions: When people are in doubt, they will look to others as a guide; and when
they view those others as similar to themselves, they are more likely to follow their
lead.
Liking People prefer to comply with requests from people they know and like. Charities recruit people to canvass their friends and neighbors. Colleges get
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alumni to raise money from classmates. Sales training programs include groom-
ing tips.
According to Cialdini, liking can be based on any of a number of factors.
Good-looking people tend to be credited with traits like talent and intelligence.
People also tend to like people who are similar to themselves in personality, back-
ground, and lifestyle.
Authority People defer to authority. Society trains them to do so, and in many sit- uations deference is benefi cial. Unfortunately, obedience is often automatic, leav-
ing people vulnerable to exploitation by compliance professionals, Cialdini says.
As an example, he cites the famous ad campaign that capitalized on actor
Robert Young’s role as Dr. Marcus Welby, Jr., to tout the alleged health benefi ts of
Sanka decaffeinated coffee.
An authority, according to Cialdini, need not be a true authority. The trappings
of authority may suffi ce. Con artists have long recognized the persuasive power of
titles like doctor or judge, fancy business suits, and expensive cars.
Scarcity Products and opportunities seem more valuable when the supply is limited.
As a result, professional persuaders emphasize that “supplies are limited.” Sales
end Sunday and movies have limited engagements—diverting attention from whether
the item is desirable to the threat of losing the chance to experience it at all.
The use of infl uence, Cialdini says, is ubiquitous.
Take the classic appeal by a child of a parent’s sense of consistency: “But you
said . . .” And the parent’s resort to authority: “Because I said so.” In addition,
nearly everyone invokes the opinions of like-minded others—for social valida-
tion—in vying to win a point.
One area in which persuasive tactics are especially controversial is political ad-
vertising—particularly negative advertising. Alarmed that attack ads might be alien-
ating voters, some critics have begun calling for stricter limits on political ads.
In Washington, legislation pending in Congress would, among other things,
force candidates to identify themselves at the end of their commercials. In that
way, they might be forced to take responsibility for the ads’ contents and be unable
to hide behind campaign committees.
“In general, people accept the notion that for the sale of products at least, there
are socially accepted norms of advertising,” said Lloyd Morrisett, president of the
Markle Foundation, which supports research in communications and information
technology.
“But when those same techniques are applied to the political process—where
we are judging not a product but a person, and where there is ample room for
distortion of the record or falsifi cation in some cases—there begins to be more
concern,” he said.
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632 Part 5 Readings for Writers
On an individual level, some psychologists offer tips for self-protection.
• Pay attention to your emotions, says Pratkanis, an associate professor of
psychology at UC Santa Cruz: “If you start to feel guilty or patriotic, try to
fi gure out why.” In consumer transactions, beware of feelings of inferiority
and the sense that you don’t measure up unless you have a certain product.
• Be on the lookout for automatic responses, Cialdini says. Beware foolish
consistency. Check other people’s responses against objective facts.
Be skeptical of authority, and look out for unwarranted liking for any
“compliance professionals.”
Since the publication of his most recent book, Infl uence: The New Psychology of Modern Persuasion, Cialdini has begun researching a new book on ethical uses of infl uence in business—addressing, among other things, how to instruct sales-
people and other “infl uence agents” to use persuasion in ways that help, rather than
hurt, society.
“If infl uence agents don’t police themselves, society will have to step in to
regulate . . . the way information is presented in commercial and political settings,”
Cialdini said. “And that’s a can of worms that I don’t think anybody wants to get into.”
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HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW MUCH ADVERTISING SURROUNDS US? DO YOU THINK overwhelming people with advertisements, as illustrated in this photo, should be allowed in public venues? Write a paragraph arguing whether or not advertisers should be permitted to inundate audiences with their messages and defend your argument with specifi c details and examples.
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VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word wielding in “The weapons of infl uence they are wielding are more sophisticated than ever” (paragraph 3) means
a. handling effectively.
b. giving up.
c. looking for.
d. demanding.
2. The word peripheral in “As David Boninger . . . puts it, ‘If you don’t have the time or motivation, or both, you will pay attention to more peripheral cues, like
how nice somebody looks’” (paragraph 23) means
a. important.
b. dependable.
c. minor.
d. attractive.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. Automatic Human Responses
b. Our Deepest Fears
c. The Loss of Thoughtful Discussion
d. Compliance Techniques
2. Which sentence best expresses the selection’s main point?
a. Americans are bombarded by various compliance techniques, the dangers
of which can be overcome through understanding and legislation.
b. Fearful of the effects of political attack ads, critics are calling for strict
limits on such ads.
c. With more and more messages demanding our attention, we fi nd it harder
and harder to consider any one subject really thoughtfully.
d. The persuasion researcher Robert Cialdini spent a three-year sabbatical
learning the tricks taught in dozens of sales training programs.
3. True or False? According to the article, most laypeople think they are more susceptible to persuasion than they really are.
4. According to the article, parents persuade their children to come home on time
by appealing to the children’s sense of
a. fair play.
b. guilt.
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634 Part 5 Readings for Writers
c. humor.
d. fear.
5. When a visitor walks out of a hotel and a young man runs up, helps the visitor
with his luggage, hails a cab, and then expects a tip, the young man is depend-
ing on which principle of persuasion?
a. reciprocity
b. commitment and consistency
c. social validation
d. liking
6. An inference that can be drawn from paragraph 49 is that
a. Anthony Pratkanis is not a patriotic person.
b. one compliance technique involves appealing to the consumer’s patriotism.
c. people using compliance techniques never want consumers to feel
inferior.
d. consumers pay too much attention to their own emotions.
7. One can infer from the selection that
a. the actor Robert Young was well known for his love of coffee.
b. Sanka is demonstrably better for one’s health than other coffees.
c. the actor Robert Young was also a physician in real life.
d. the TV character Marcus Welby Jr. was trustworthy and authoritative.
8. We can conclude that to resist persuasive tactics, a person must
a. buy fewer products.
b. take time to question and analyze.
c. remain patriotic.
d. avoid propaganda.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. What unusual method did Robert Cialdini apply to learn more about compli-
ance techniques? Were you surprised by any of the ways he used his time
during that three-year period? Have you ever been employed in a position in
which you used one or more compliance techniques?
2. What are the six principles that Cialdini identifi es as being behind many per-
suasion tactics? Describe an incident in which you were subjected to persua-
sion based on one or more of these principles.
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3. In paragraph 16, we learn that “people are more likely to comply with a request
if a reason—no matter how silly—is given.” Do you fi nd that to be true? Have
you complied with requests that, when you thought about them later, were
backed up with silly or weak reasons? Describe such an incident. Why do you
think such requests work?
4. In paragraphs 44–47, the author discusses persuasive tactics in political ad-
vertising. Why might researchers view the use of such tactics in this area as
“especially controversial”? Discuss this issue in groups of two or three, taking
into consideration the question of “attack ads” (see page 631).
About Structure 5. What is the effect of Janny Scott’s introduction to the essay (paragraphs 1–2)?
On the basis of that introduction, why is a reader likely to feel that the selection
will be worth his or her time?
6. Which of the following best describes the conclusion of the selection?
a. It just stops.
b. It restates the main point of the selection.
c. It focuses on possible future occurrences.
d. It presents a point of view that is the opposite of views in the body of the
selection.
Is this conclusion effective? Why or why not?
About Style and Tone 7. Why might Robert Cialdini have identifi ed himself to the author as an “inveter-
ate sucker”? How does that self-description affect how you regard Cialdini and
what he has to say?
8. The author writes, “People defer to authority. Society trains them to do so; and
in many situations deference is benefi cial” (paragraph 37). Where does the
author himself use the power of authority to support his own points? In what
situations would you consider authority to be benefi cial?
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph According to the article, “laypeople underestimate their susceptibility to persua-
sion. . . . They imagine their actions are dictated simply by personal preferences.
Unaware of the techniques being used against them, they are often unwittingly
outgunned” (paragraph 14). After having read the selection, do you believe that
statement is true of you? Write a paragraph in which you either agree with or argue
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636 Part 5 Readings for Writers
against the statement. Provide clear, specifi c examples of ways in which you are or
are not infl uenced by persuasion.
Your topic sentence might be like either of these:
After reading “How They Get You to Do That,” I recognize that I am more infl uenced by forms of persuasion than I previously thought.
Many people may “underestimate their susceptibility to persuasion,” but I am not one of those people.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Robert Cialidini identifi es “social validation” as a strong persuasion technique.
Social validation involves people’s need to do what they hope will gain them ap-
proval from the crowd; this often means that people stop thinking for themselves.
The essay provides several examples of social validation, such as laughing along
with a laugh track and getting in a long line to go to a nightclub.
Choose a person you know for whom the need for social validation is very
strong. Write a paragraph about that person. Explain how the need for social vali-
dation has had an impact on specifi c areas of his or her life. Develop your para-
graph with colorful, persuasive examples of the person’s behavior. (You may wish
to write about an invented person, in which case, feel free to use humorous exag-
geration to make your points.)
Here are some possible topic sentences:
My cousin Nina’s strong need for social validation is especially obvious when she is introduced to people she’s never met before.
My friend Terry wears only the newest and most popular clothing styles in order to “be in.”
Jadon, my neighbor, never asserts any opinions of his own, but adopts the opinions of the people he is with.
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Scott describes multiple principles—including reciprocity, social validation, and
authority—that are used to infl uence people to desire and/or purchase items.
Write an essay in which you analyze a print or TV advertisement. Decide
which guiding principles the ad uses to persuade its audience. You will want to
choose an advertisement that uses at least three principles. In your introduction,
you should describe the ad that you are analyzing and identify what principles it
utilizes. Then, as you develop each paragraph, include a topic sentence that defi nes
one of the principles and provide details about the elements of the advertisement
that employ that particular principle. Your conclusion should restate your thesis
and bring your essay to a strong ending.
After you fi nish a fi rst draft, exchange essays with a classmate and share revi-
sion advice; use the checklist on the inside back cover to guide your critique.
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from A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens
PREVIEW
Have you ever been so upset about something that you decided you could no longer tolerate it? Would you be willing to give up your life to fi ght to change it? This selec-
tion, which comprises Chapter 1 and the fi rst fi ve paragraphs of Chapter 5 from A Tale of Two Cities, introduces you to the period of oppression that incited the French to revolt against the aristocracy. Through Dickens’s descriptions, you will experience the poverty and cruelty the citizens of France suffered at that time. As you read this excerpt, think about what you would do in these situations.
Chapter 1: Th e Period It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the
age of foolishness, it was the epoch* of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was
the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the
winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all
going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period
was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its
being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative* degree of comparison only.
There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain face, on the throne
of England; there were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a fair face, on the
throne of France. In both countries it was clearer than crystal to the lords of the
State preserves of loaves and fi shes, that things in general were settled for ever.
It was the year of Our Lord one thousand seven hundred and seventy-fi ve.
Spiritual revelations were conceded to England at that favoured period, as at this.
Mrs. Southcott had recently attained her fi ve-and-twentieth blessed birthday, of
whom a prophetic private in the Life Guards had heralded the sublime appearance
by announcing that arrangements were made for the swallowing up of London and
Westminster. Even the Cock-lane ghost had been laid only a round dozen of years,
after rapping out its messages, as the spirits of this very year last past (supernatu-
rally defi cient in originality) rapped out theirs. Mere messages in the earthly order
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Human Groups and Society
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638 Part 5 Readings for Writers
of events had lately come to the English Crown and People, from a congress of
British subjects in America: which, strange to relate, have proved more important
to the human race than any communications yet received through any of the chick-
ens of the Cock-lane brood.
France, less favoured on the whole as to matters spiritual than her sister of
the shield and trident, rolled with exceeding smoothness down hill, making paper
money and spending it. Under the guidance of her Christian pastors, she enter-
tained herself, besides, with such humane achievements as sentencing a youth to
have his hands cut off, his tongue torn out with pincers, and his body burned alive,
because he had not kneeled down in the rain to do honour to a dirty procession of
monks which passed within his view, at a distance of some fi fty or sixty yards. It is
likely enough that, rooted in the woods of France and Norway, there were growing
trees, when that sufferer was put to death, already marked by the Woodman, Fate,
to come down and be sawn into boards, to make a certain movable framework
with a sack and a knife in it, terrible in history. It is likely enough that in the rough
outhouses of some tillers of the heavy lands adjacent to Paris, there were sheltered
from the weather that very day, rude carts, bespattered with rustic mire, snuffed
about by pigs, and roosted in by poultry, which the Farmer, Death, had already set
apart to be his tumbrils of the Revolution. But, that Woodman and that Farmer,
though they work unceasingly, work silently, and no one heard them as they went
about with muffl ed tread: the rather, forasmuch as to entertain any suspicion that
they were awake, was to be atheistical and traitorous.
In England, there was scarcely an amount of order and protection to justify
much national boasting. Daring burglaries by armed men, and highway robberies,
took place in the capital itself every night; families were publicly cautioned not
to go out of town without removing their furniture to upholsterers’ warehouses
for security; the highwayman in the dark was a City tradesman in the light, and,
being recognized and challenged by his fellow-tradesman whom he stopped in
his character of ‘the Captain’, gallantly shot him through the head and rode away;
the mail was waylaid by seven robbers, and the guard shot three dead, and then
got shot dead himself by the other four, ‘in consequence of the failure of his am-
munition’: after which the mail was robbed in peace; that magnifi cent potentate,
the Lord Mayor of London, was made to stand and deliver on Turnham Green, by
one highwayman, who despoiled the illustrious creature in sight of all his retinue;
prisoners in London gaols* fought battles with their turnkeys, and the majesty of
the law fi red blunderbusses in among them, loaded with rounds of shot and ball;
thieves snipped off diamond crosses from the necks of noble lords at Court draw-
ing rooms; musketeers went into St Giles’s, to search for contraband goods, and
the mob fi red on the musketeers, and the musketeers fi red on the mob; and nobody
thought any of these occurrences much out of the common way. In the midst of
them, the hangman, ever busy and ever worse than useless, was in constant req-
uisition; now, stringing up long rows of miscellaneous criminals; now, hanging a
housebreaker on Saturday who had been taken on Tuesday; now, burning people
in the hand at Newgate by the dozen, and now burning pamphlets at the door of
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Westminster Hall; to-day, taking the life of an atrocious murderer, and tomorrow
of a wretched pilferer who had robbed a farmer’s boy of sixpence.
All these things, and a thousand like them, came to pass in and close upon the
dear old year one thousand seven hundred and seventy-fi ve. Environed by them,
while the Woodman and the Farmer worked unheeded, those two of the large jaws,
and those other two of the plain and the fair faces, trod with stir enough, and carried
their divine rights with a high hand. Thus did the year one thousand seven hundred
and seventy-fi ve conduct their Greatnesses, and myriads of small creatures—the
creatures of this chronicle among the rest—along the roads that lay before them.
Opening paragraphs of Chapter 5: Th e Wine-Shop A large cask of wine had been dropped and broken, in the street. The accident had
happened in getting it out of a cart; the cask had tumbled out with a run, the hoops
had burst, and it lay on the stones just outside the door of the wine-shop, shattered
like a walnut-shell.
All the people within reach had suspended their business, or their idleness,
to run to the spot and drink the wine. The rough, irregular stones of the street,
pointing every way, and designed, one might have thought, expressly to lame
all living creatures that ap-
proached them, had dammed
it into little pools; these were
surrounded, each by its own
jostling group or crowd, ac-
cording to its size. Some men
kneeled down, made scoops
of their two hands joined, and
sipped, or tried to help women,
who bent over their shoulders,
to sip, before the wine had
all run out between their fi n-
gers. Others, men and women,
dipped in the puddles with lit-
tle mugs of mutilated earthen
ware, or even with handker-
chiefs from women’s heads,
which were squeezed dry into
infants’ mouths; others made
small mud-embankments, to
stem the wine as it ran; others,
directed by lookers-on up at
high windows, darted here and
there, to cut off little streams of
wine that started away in new
6
7
8
DICKENS USED WORDS TO DESCRIBE EVENTS IN FRANCE during the eighteenth century, ultimately asserting his opinion of the monarchy. The artist who created this picture was also emphasizing a point. What do you think he is saying in this image? What types of symbols does he use to convey his opinion? Do you think this picture is effective? Why or why not?
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640 Part 5 Readings for Writers
directions; others, devoted, themselves to the sodden and lee-dyed pieces of the
cask, licking, and even champing the moister wine-rotted fragments with eager
relish. There was no drainage to carry off the wine, and not only did it all get
taken up, but so much mud got taken up along with it, that there might have been a
scavenger in the street, if anybody acquainted with it could have believed in such
a miraculous presence.
A shrill sound of laughter and of amused voices—voices of men, women, and
children—resounded in the street while this wine game lasted. There was little
roughness in the sport, and much playfulness. There was a special companion-
ship in it, an observable inclination on the part of every one to join some other
one, which led, especially among the luckier or lighter-hearted, to frolicsome em-
braces, drinking of healths, shaking of hands, and even joining of hands and danc-
ing, a dozen together. When the wine was gone, and the places where it had been
most abundant were raked into a gridiron-pattern by fi ngers, these demonstrations
ceased, as suddenly as they had broken out. The man who had left his saw sticking
in the fi rewood he was cutting, set it in motion again; the woman who had left on a
door-step the little pot of hot ashes, at which she had been trying to soften the pain
in her own starved fi ngers and toes, or in those of her child, returned to it; men with
bare arms, matted locks, and cadaverous faces, who had emerged into the winter
light from cellars, moved away to descend again; and a gloom gathered on the
scene that appeared more natural to it than sunshine.
The wine was red wine, and had stained the ground of the narrow street in the
suburb of Saint Antoine, in Paris, where it was spilled. It had stained many hands,
too, and many faces, and many naked feet, and many wooden shoes. The hands of
the man who sawed the wood, left red marks on the billets; and the forehead of the
woman who nursed her baby, was stained with the stain of the old rag she wound
about her head again. Those who had been greedy with the staves of the cask, had
acquired a tigerish smear about the mouth; and one tall joker so besmirched, his
head more out of a long squalid bag of a nightcap than in it, scrawled upon a wall
with his fi nger dipped in muddy wine lees—blood.
The time was to come, when that wine too would be spilled on the street-
stones, and when the stain of it would be red upon many there.
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word epoch in “it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity” (paragraph 1) means
a. beginning.
b. highpoint.
c. a distinct period of time.
d. the mean longitude of a planet.
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2. The word superlative in “authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only” (paragraph 1) means
a. the highest degree of comparison.
b. the lowest degree of comparison.
c. superior or outstanding.
d. the lowest point or second-class.
3. The word gaols in “prisoners in London gaols” (paragraph 5) means
a. suburbs.
b. slums.
c. castles.
d. prisons.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. The novel opens in the year .
a. 1753
b. 1764
c. 1775
d. 1786
2. Which two countries are being described in Chapter 1?
a. London and Paris
b. England and France
c. England and the United States
d. France and the United States
3. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. Two Countries at War
b. Four Terrible Monarchs
c. The Final Straw
d. A Brewing Revolution
4. Which sentence best expresses the central idea of the selection?
a. Life was terrible in both England and France for the working class and poor.
b. The kings and queens of England and France thought things were perfectly
fi ne.
c. Wine was a luxury that the people of France rarely enjoyed.
d. People had terrible manners and treated one another poorly in the 1700s.
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642 Part 5 Readings for Writers
5. Who are the Woodman and the Farmer?
a. Fate and Death
b. Death and Wealth
c. servants to the king of France
d. workers at the wine store
6. We can infer from paragraph 2 that Queen Marie Antoinette of France was
a. ugly.
b. kind.
c. pretty.
d. honest.
7. We can infer from paragraph 11 that
a. more wine casket accidents are going to happen.
b. wine is going to become a scarce commodity.
c. people are going to continue to starve in France.
d. many people are going to die in the streets.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. List two of the instances of violence and cruelty mentioned in Chapter 1.
2. In paragraph 3, which war is alluded to?
About Structure 3. In the beginning of the selection, Dickens describes “The Period” with four
characteristics. What are these characteristics?
4. In paragraph 5, Dickens uses personifi cation, attributing human characters to
inanimate objects or abstract notions. Find the examples of personifi cation.
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5. In the fi rst two paragraphs of Chapter 5, what details does Dickens use to in-
troduce the reader to the setting?
About Style and Tone 6. Why do you think Dickens focuses solely on the setting, rather than the main
characters, in his opening chapter?
7. In the section from Chapter 5, what type of atmosphere does Dickens create
with his images?
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Write a paragraph that mimics the opening paragraph of Chapter 1. Instead of trying
to describe something historical, describe your life. For instance, you might write
a paragraph about an extremely stressful year that brought about major changes in
your life. You could start your paragraph with “It was the hottest of summers; it
was the coolest of winters; it was a year of extremes in my life.” Make sure your
details support your opening line and create a picture in your reader’s mind.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Historically, the working class has been oppressed by the nobility, the poor have
been exploited by the rich, and those without power have suffered at the hands of
those with power. Write a paragraph that examines an instance you believe dem-
onstrates inequality between socio-economic classes, and offer suggestions about
how such inequalities can be addressed and ultimately eliminated.
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Many revolutions have been ignited when those who are oppressed revolt against those
in power. Some revolutions, like the American Revolution, help establish new countries.
Other revolutions, like the French Revolution, help establish better or new governments.
For this assignment, you are to research a revolution, exploring its causes and
its outcomes. You may want to look at a revolution that occurred hundreds of years
ago like the Haitian Revolution, or you may want to research a more recent revolu-
tion, such as those in Egypt, Iran, or Turkey. Write an essay about either the three
major causes of the revolution or the three major effects of the revolution. Remem-
ber that any information you use from another source, whether it is word for word
or rewritten in your own words, needs to be properly credited.
Share your rough draft with a partner to get and give feedback for revision.
Refer to the checklist on the inside back cover.
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644 Part 5 Readings for Writers
Duel at High Noon: A Replay of Cormier’s Works Kathy Neal Headley
PREVIEW
Robert Cormier’s young adult novels have been popular since The Chocolate War was fi rst published in 1974. In this essay, Kathy Neal Headley explores his writings and examines why these books have been perceived as controversial. At the same time, she offers an analysis of why they have been so well liked and why they will likely continue to be read, admired, and discussed well into the twenty-fi rst century.
Today’s baby boomers were reared in times of romanticism. Wars were won, the
American Dream was a real possibility, and even the turbulent 60s were colored with
strokes of idealism. According to formula, literature for adolescents through the 50s
and into the 60s was didactic* and predictable, with the teenaged protagonist even-
tually adopting behavior that was acceptable to adults. Given such a vision of the
world, one can comprehend why Robert Cormier has faced criticism for his portray-
als of good versus evil in many of his works. His books are avidly read by teenagers,
but many parents have diffi culty with his dark view of life and negative portrayal of
humanity (Ellis, 1985). All too often, parents are protective and controlling of their
children’s lives, but kids want books to refl ect reality. They know that the “good
guys don’t always win” (West, 1987). Cormier defends his harsh look at reality since
“Kids know the language they hear and what’s going on in the locker rooms and the
school buses. They know my books are mild in comparison” (Silvey, 1985b, p. 295).
Infl uenced at a young age by movies of the 1930s, Cormier is intrigued by
the development of characters and story plots with slight twists (Silvery, 1985b).
During these Depression times, movies such as gangster fi lms and budget westerns
provided escape mechanisms, entertaining the young and old alike. Traditionally,
the heroes were easily spotted as rebels, outcasts, or loners. The good guy might
be disguised as an outlaw, but by movie’s end, the outcome was one of triumph
for “doing the right thing.” Cormier’s character and plot developments mirror the
30s images, but the happy endings seem to be left on the cutting room’s fl oor.
In his novels, Cormier strives for shocks of recognition and hopes that people
react, “Yes, this is the way it is or could be” (Silvey, 1985b, p. 293). He writes realisti-
cally, not didactically, since “it’s impossible to write about kids of that age without
going into certain things that are on their minds” (Silvey, 1985b, p. 294). To allow
young people to be viewed as individuals, mothers and fathers are often absent in
Cormier’s works (Bugniazet, 1985). As for role models, Cormier states that “I can’t
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be concerned with that. I’m not worrying about corrupting youth. I’m worrying about
writing realistically and truthfully to affect the reader. What I worry about is good
taste and getting my message across by whatever means I can” (Silvey, 1985b, p. 294).
Of concern to Cormier are the morality issues and individual development cri-
ses that dominate the genre of adolescent literature. Cormier, however, deals with
a different morality than the personal concerns of most adolescent novels.
Not one of Cormier’s characters is concerned with “alcoholism, drug use (except
when imposed by institutions), premarital sex, childbirth, physical handicaps, social
and racial problems, divorce, mental illness (except where imposed by institutions),
and homosexuality (Duncan, p. 1).” His focus has not been on menstruation, rape or
prostitution. Cormier’s characters stepped boldly and independently into the world
of adolescent literature where most characters fi nally got their fi rst bra, reached a
decision about having intercourse, chose to have an abortion or a baby, kicked a drug
habit or adjusted to a single-parent home. . . . it took the good sense … to have a larger
view and see the much greater problems that young people face (Ellis, 1985, p. 11).
Interested in the operation of society, Cormier writes political novels. In
doing so, the situation is primary in importance and characterization is secondary
(MacLeod, 1981). Hence, the central theme in his novels has been the struggle be-
tween individuals and institutions. Cormier “focuses our attention on individuals.
In doing so, he causes us to see, through these individuals, that the boundaries and
the controls need not be accepted passively. They can be challenged; indeed, they
must be challenged” (Ellis, 1985, p. 11). Cormier is “frightened by today’s world,
terrifi ed by it . . . that comes out in the books” (Silvey, 1985a, p. 155).
More than just a story of peer pressure and schools, The Chocolate War par- allels Nazi Germany throughout the text (MacLeod, 1981). The world of power
and manipulation creates shock waves of possibilities. In Cormier’s own words,
“Never does the book fail to get a response” (Cormier, 1985b, p. 4).
His casual references to topics such as masturbation offer reassurances to to-
day’s youth (Bugniazet, 1985). The opening scenes, short reminders of cinemato-
graphic inter-cuts (March-Penny, 1978), set the troubled tone for the episodes to
follow. The twisted teacher image sends confl icting messages of good and evil
while the repetition of games pushes against individuality. In the end, survival
through conformity* comes too late for Jerry, but the message is clear: “Don’t dis-
turb the universe” (Cormier, 1974, p. 187).
In an unusual attempt to respond to unanswered questions in The Chocolate War, Cormier penned Beyond the Chocolate War. Without a doubt, Archie must get the black marble in this sequel to prove that he is human. With the sharp illusion
of the guillotine, Cormier ignites the action and reminds us that life is made of
choices and that we choose whether to follow or lead (Silvey, 1985a).
The realities of government, bureaucracy, secrecy, betrayal, and other aspects
of politics describe the survival of the organization in I Am the Cheese. The pitch and frenzy of the drama increase as Cormier refuses to answer the why’s for the
adolescent reader. I Am the Cheese is like a mystery novel, forcing the reader to
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5
6
7
8
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646 Part 5 Readings for Writers
focus on what has already happened while blinding him to the present. The reader
believes the wrong things and ignores the right ones. The biggest lie of all, that
Adam is not on his way to Rutterburg, is hidden beneath the question of insanity.
Cormier disguises truth as delusion and fantasy as the truth. Like The Chocolate War, the failure of individuals to protect themselves from corruption of the power- ful emerges in I Am the Cheese (Nodelman, 1983).
Harsh realities are not covered up by parents in After the First Death. Instead, “violence initiated by the terrorists is matched by the equally violent response of
the government, and the children are the victims of both” (MacLeod, 1981, p. 79).
The extremes of patriotism turned into terrorism defi ne innocence as a potentially
evil quality, particularly political innocence.
References to the 1933 fi lm, The Invisible Man, a favorite of Cormier’s, are in- terspersed in scenes throughout Fade. Using an autobiographical approach, Cormier weaves such an intricate tale of power and its misuse that the reader is almost persuaded
to believe that the fade is a reality. Cormier shatters our childhood fantasies of becom-
ing invisible when scenes of incest and brutality force the reader to turn away with Paul,
sharing the destruction of innocence and the burden of secrets (Campbell, 1985).
MacLeod (1981) charges that Cormier has departed from the standard models of
writing and has gone beyond the limits of contemporary realism. His novels violate
the unwritten rule that, no matter how realistic, there should be some glimmer of hope
with a positive message. “Cormier has abandoned an enduring American myth to con-
front his teenaged readers with life as it more often is—with the dangers of dissent, the
ferocity of systems as they protect themselves, the power of the pressure to conform”
(p. 76). Life, after all, isn’t a B-Western fl ickering inside a darkened theater. “The
lone dissent has not only failed, it is repudiated…. Gary Cooper lies in his own blood
in the street at high noon” (MacLeod, 1981, p. 76). With intentional foresight, “evil
is not conquered in Cormier’s novels. His heroes are more tragic than not. It maybe
suggested that their fl aw is an unwillingness to ‘play by the established rules’” (Ellis,
1985, p. 52). Perhaps, however, contrary to MacLeod’s view, “the struggle is not hope-
less, . . . but formidable. . . .[A]dolescents have an innate sense of immortality, and
they perennially carry the seeds of the idealism which is the lifeblood of humanity. No
one is better suited for recognizing and taking up the challenge” (Ellis, 1985, p. 53).
Even in a hospital permeated by experimentation and death, Cormier manages
to interject a fragment of hope in his book, The Bumblebee Flies Anyway. The challenge of doing the impossible spurs Barney on as he works to see the make-
shift car, the Bumblebee, soar through the night sky. The Complex, as the hospital
is called, compels us to feel the boundaries of confi nement and reminds us of our
own mortality: we will all, eventually, face death. Just like Barney, the voyage of
the Bumblebee impacts within us the hope of victory over death, the only key to
survival (Campbell, 1989).
Cormier is “always trying to affect the reader because . . . ultimately the book,
as a whole, becomes a catharsis and causes some kind of emotional responses”
(Bugniazet, 1985, p. 15). There is some hope in his books; “maybe it’s what the
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individual reader brings to the books,” says Cormier, “but I thought I had this ele-
ment in my books all the time. Adam’s out there pumping on his bike. I said it all
in The Bumblebee Flies Anyway when I had Barney say, ‘The bad thing is to do nothing’” (Bugniazet, 1985, p. 15).
Robert Cormier appeals to adolescents to reach beyond self-centered concerns
to address more global issues such as political manipulations that can create or pre-
vent nuclear war, environmental devastation, and economic fl uctuations. Perhaps,
the fi nal act of justice and the difference between right and wrong may reside in
the destruction of apathy* and the disillusion of innocence. The adolescent reader,
drawing the camera back slowly from the blood shed by Jerry on the fi eld beneath
the lights, is reminded of the duel at high noon. Sometimes, justice is lost, but it is
never forgotten. Neither will be the powerful writings of Robert Cormier. “His are
among the few books written for young adults which, in all probability, will still be
discussed in the twenty-fi rst century” (Campbell, 1989).
References Bugniazet, J. A telephone interview with Robert Cormier. The ALAN Review,
Winter, 1985, pp. 14–18.
Campbell, P. J. Presenting Robert Cormier. Dell, 1989. Cormier, R. The Chocolate War. Dell, 1975. ______. After the First Death. Avon Books, 1980. ______. The Bumblebee Flies Anyway. Pantheon Books, 1983. ______. I Am the Cheese. Dell, 1983. ______. Beyond the Chocolate War. Pantheon Books, 1985a. ______. “The Pleasures and Pains of Writing a Sequel,” The ALAN Review, Winter,
1985b, pp. 1–4.
______. Fade. Delacorte Press, 1988. Ellis, W.G. “Cormier and the Pessimistic View,” The ALAN Review, Winter, 1985,
pp. 10–12, 52–53.
MacLeod, A. S. “Robert Cormier and the Adolescent Novel,” Children’s Literature in Education, Summer, 1981, pp. 74–81.
March-Penny, R. “From Hardback to Paperback: The Chocolate War, by Robert
Cormier,” Children’s Literature in Education, Summer, 1978, pp. 78–84. Nodelman, P. “Robert Cormier Does a Number,” Children’s Literature in
Education, Summer, 1983, pp. 94–103. Silvey, A. “An Interview with Robert Cormier,” The Horn Book, March-April,
1985a, pp. 145–155.
______. “An Interview with Robert Cormier,” The Horn Book, May-June, 1985b, pp. 289–296.
West, M. I. “Censorship on Children’s Books: Authors and Editors Provide New
Perspectives on the Issue,” Publishers Weekly, July, 1987, pp. 108–111.
16
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VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word didactic in “literature for adolescents through the 50s and into the 60s was didactic and predictable” (paragraph 1) means
a. intended to be entertaining and pleasing.
b. intended to lecture and offer textbook instruction.
c. intended to convey moral instruction.
d. intended to be as one would expect.
2. The word conformity in “In the end, survival through conformity comes too late” (paragraph 8) means
a. mental struggle resulting from incompatible needs.
b. correspondence to a higher ideal.
c. having the same shape, outline, or contour.
d. action in accordance with prevailing standard or authority.
3. The word apathy in “the fi nal act of justice and the difference between right and wrong may reside in the destruction of apathy and the disillusion of in-
nocence” (paragraph 16) means
a. being freed from a belief or idealism.
b. absence of feeling or emotion.
c. mediocre quality; commonplace.
d. earnestness of feeling; intensity.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. Books that Should Be Banned
b. Cormier’s Many Books for Teens
c. Powerful Messages in Adolescent Fiction
d. Books Should Always Be Positive
2. Which of the following best expresses the main idea of this selection?
a. Robert Cormier has written a multitude of books, and young adults should
read them.
b. The Chocolate War and Beyond the Chocolate War are Cormier’s best books.
c. Robert Cormier’s books are very controversial and rarely contain happy
endings.
d. Cormier’s books allow adolescents to explore important themes not often
found in teen fi ction.
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3. According to the author, Cormier writes novels that are considered to be
a. science fi ction.
b. political.
c. folk literature.
d. Westerns.
4. The Chocolate War parallels
a. Nazi Germany.
b. the Revolutionary War.
c. Beyond the Chocolate War.
d. the Civil War.
5. True or False? The central theme in Cormier’s novels is the struggle between individuals and institutions.
6. As the essay implies, which of the following is NOT a book by Cormier?
a. The Bumblebee Flies Anyway
b. Fade
c. After the First Death
d. The Invisible Man
7. We can infer that the author of this selection
a. wishes she could write like Cormier.
b. admires Cormier’s powerful themes and realistic endings.
c. hopes that schools and libraries will ban Cormier’s books.
d. is looking forward to Cormier’s newest book.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. In the beginning of the essay, the author explains that Cormier has often
faced criticism, especially by parents, because his books have dark views of
life. At the same time his books have been popular because adolescents want
to read books that refl ect reality. Do you agree with this statement? Why or
why not?
2. According to the essay, why does Cormier write books that don’t end happily?
3. In paragraph 13, Ellis states that “their fl aw is an unwillingness to ‘play by
established rules . . . taking up the challenge’.” What does he mean by this?
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About Structure 4. To what does the title “Duel at High Noon: A Replay of Cormier’s Works”
refer? Is this a good title? Why or why not?
5. The author uses numerous quotes throughout the essay. What is the purpose of
these quotes?
About Style and Tone 6. Is the author’s purpose primarily to inform readers about Cormier’s books, or
is she hoping that readers will explore the books on their own? Explain.
7. How would you characterize the author’s attitude toward ultimate, unques-
tioned authority? How do you know this?
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Have you ever read a book or watched a movie with an unrealistic ending? Did
you like it? Why or why not? Write a paragraph that describes that book or movie.
Be sure to provide specifi c details about why you did or did not like the ending.
Your topic sentence will need to include the title and author of the book (or title
and director of the movie) and a claim that expresses your view. Here are two topic
sentences that might begin different paragraphs:
The ending of A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett was disappointing because Sara ended up becoming extremely wealthy again, which is very improbable.
The Breakfast Club by John Hughes created the unrealistic expectation at the end that the popular kids and outsiders would really become friends.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Confl ict between teens and/or young adults and their parents is common. Sometimes
the arguments concern what is considered an appropriate movie, book, or album.
Sometimes the disagreements concern larger issues like politics or values. Write a
paragraph about a specifi c issue that you and your parents disagree about. Explain the
nature of the difference in opinion. Have you come to a compromise? If not, how do
you and they handle the situation? If so, how did you arrive at the compromise?
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Cormier’s books have tragic heroes who often suffer terrible fates because they
have stood up to and challenged authority. In I Am the Cheese and The Chocolate War, individuals fail to protect themselves from corruption. In The Bumblebee
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Flies Anyway, Barney has to navigate life in the experimental hospital with little hope of escape. In After the First Death, children are victims of violence and ex- treme patriotism. Taking a stand for your beliefs, especially when those beliefs run
counter to societal norms, is never easy, but “the bad thing is to do nothing.”
Write an essay about a memorable character in a book you have read—a char-
acter who felt compelled to stand up for or against something. This could be a
character from a work of fi ction or nonfi ction. In your essay, you should describe
the basic confl ict faced by the character and explain why he or she decided to speak
up, what the consequences were, and why. You will want to include specifi c details
to support your ideas.
On the other hand, you may want to write about a character who should have
stood up to authority, but who was too fearful to do so. Again, this character could
be from a work of fi ction or nonfi ction. For this essay, you will need to explain what
the character experienced and why he or she decided not to speak up. You should
also evaluate the effects this decision had on the individual’s life. Like the other
option, you will want to call on specifi c details to help build a strong argument.
Before you begin writing, describe your topic and your approach to a partner.
Ask which supporting details seem most informative, interesting, and relevant to
the topic.
Managing Confl icts in Relationships Rudolph F. Verderber
PREVIEW
How do you handle the confl icts in your life? Do you get angry? Do you give in? Whatever your methods, you will probably recognize them in this excerpt from the widely used textbook Communicate! (8th ed.), by Rudolph F. Verderber.
Confl icts include clashes over facts and defi nitions (“Charley was the fi rst one
to talk.” “No, it was Mark.” or “Your mother is a battle-ax.” “What do you mean, a
‘battle-ax’?”); over values (“Bringing home pencils and pens from work is not steal-
ing.” “Of course it is.” or “The idea that you have to be married to have sex is com-
pletely outdated.” “No, it isn’t.”); and, perhaps the most diffi cult to deal with, over ego
involvement (“Listen, I’ve been a football fan for thirty years; I ought to know what
good defense is.” “Well, you may be a fan, but that doesn’t make you an expert.”).
Although many people view confl ict as bad (and, to be sure, confl ict situations
are likely to make us anxious and uneasy), it is inevitable in any signifi cant relation-
ship. Moreover, confl ict is sometimes useful in that it forces us to make choices; to
resolve honest differences; and to test the relative merits of our attitudes, behaviors,
needs, and goals. Now let’s consider methods of dealing with confl ict.
1
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Methods of Dealing with Confl ict Left to their own devices, people engage in many behaviors, both negative and
positive, to cope with or manage their confl icts. The various methods of deal-
ing with confl ict can be grouped into fi ve major patterns: withdrawal, surrender,
aggression, persuasion, and problem-solving discussion. Let’s consider each of
these methods in turn.
Withdrawal One of the most common, and certainly one of the easiest, ways to deal with confl ict is to withdraw. When people withdraw, they physically or psy- chologically remove themselves from the situation.
Physical withdrawal is, of course, easiest to identify. Suppose Eduardo and
Justina get into a conversation about Eduardo’s smoking. Justina says, “Eduardo,
I thought you told me that whether you stopped smoking completely or not, you
weren’t going to smoke around the house. Now here you are lighting up!” Eduardo
may withdraw physically by saying “I don’t want to talk about it” and going to the
basement to fi nish a project he was working on.
Psychological withdrawal may be less noticeable but is every bit as common.
Using the same example, when Justina begins to talk about Eduardo’s smoking in
the house, Eduardo may sit quietly in his chair looking at Justina, but all the time
she speaks he is thinking about the poker game he will be going to the next evening.
Besides being quite common, both kinds of withdrawal are basically nega-
tive. Why? Because they neither eliminate nor attempt to manage the confl ict. As
researchers Roloff and Cloven note, “Relational partners who avoid confl icts have
more diffi culty resolving disputes.” In the case of the physical withdrawal, Justina
may follow Eduardo to the basement, where the confl ict will be resumed; if not, the
confl ict will undoubtedly resurface later—and will probably be intensifi ed—when
Justina and Eduardo try to resolve another, unrelated issue. In the case of the psy-
chological withdrawal, Justina may force Eduardo to address the smoking issue,
or she may go along with Eduardo’s ignoring it but harbor* a resentment that may
negatively affect their relationship.
Another reason why withdrawal is negative is that it results in what Cloven and
Roloff call “mulling behavior.” By mulling they mean thinking about or stewing over an actual or perceived problem until the participants perceive the confl ict as more se-
vere and begin engaging in blaming behavior. Thus, in many cases, not confronting
the problem when it occurs only makes it more diffi cult to deal with in the long run.
Nevertheless, confl icts do occasionally go away if left alone. There appear to
be two sets of circumstances in which withdrawal may work. First, when the with-
drawal represents temporary disengagement for the purpose of letting the heat of the
confl ict subside, it can be an effective technique for managing confl ict. Consider this
example: Bill and Margaret begin to argue over inviting Bill’s mother for Thanks-
giving dinner. During the conversation, Margaret begins to get angry about what
her mother-in-law said to her recently about the way she and Bill are raising their
3
4
5
6
7
8
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daughter. Margaret says, “Hold it a minute; let me make a pot of coffee. We can both
relax a bit, and then we’ll talk about this some more.” A few minutes later, having
calmed down, she returns, ready to approach the confl ict more objectively. Marga-
ret’s action is not true withdrawal; it’s not meant as a means of avoiding confronta-
tion. Rather, it provides a cooling-off period that will probably benefi t them both.
The second set of circumstances in which withdrawal may work is when a
confl ict occurs between people who communicate infrequently. Consider Josh and
Mario, who work in the same offi ce. At two offi ce gatherings, they have gotten
into arguments about whether the company really cares about its employees. At
the next offi ce gathering, Mario avoids sitting near Josh. Again, this form of with-
drawal serves as a means of avoiding confl ict rather than contributing to it. In this
case, Mario judges that it simply isn’t that important to resolve the disagreement. It
is fair to say that not every confl ict needs to be resolved. Withdrawal is a negative
pattern only when it is a person’s major way of managing confl ict.
Surrender A second method of managing confl ict is to surrender. As you might suspect, surrender means giving in immediately to avoid confl ict. Although altering a personal position in order to accommodate* another can be positive when it’s done
in the spirit of cooperation, using surrender as a primary coping strategy is unhealthy.
Some people are so upset by the prospect of confl ict that they will do anything
to avoid it. For instance, Juan and Mariana are discussing their vacation plans. Juan
would like just the two of them to go, but Mariana has talked with two of their
friends who will be vacationing the same week about going together. After Juan
mentions that he’d like the two of them to go alone, Mariana says, “But I think it
would be fun to go with another couple, don’t you?” Juan replies, “OK, whatever
you want.” Even though Juan really wants the two of them to go alone, rather than
describe his feelings or give reasons for his position, he gives in to avoid confl ict.
Habitual surrender is a negative way of dealing with confl ict for at least two rea-
sons. First, decisions should be made on their merits, not to avoid confl ict. If one person
gives in, there is no testing of the decision—no one knows what would really be best.
Second, surrender can be infuriating to the other person. When Mariana tells Juan what
she thinks, she probably wants Juan to see her way as the best. But if Juan simply sur-
renders, Mariana might believe that Juan still dislikes her plan but is playing the martyr.
And his unwillingness to present his reasons could lead to even more confl ict.
The contention that surrender is a negative way of dealing with confl ict should
be qualifi ed to the extent that it refl ects a Western cultural perspective. In some
cultures, surrendering is a perfectly legitimate way of dealing with confl ict. In
Japanese culture, for instance, it is thought to be more humble and face-saving to
surrender than to risk losing respect through confl ict.
Aggression A third method of dealing with confl ict is through aggression. Ag- gression entails the use of physical or psychological coercion to get one’s way. Through aggression, people attempt to force others to accept their ideas or wishes,
thereby emerging as “victors” in confl icts.
10
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Aggression seldom improves a relationship, however. Rather, aggression is an
emotional reaction to confl ict. Thought is short-circuited, and the person lashes
out physically or verbally. People who use aggression are concerned not with the
merits of an issue but only with who is bigger, who can talk louder, who can act
nastier, or who can force the other to give in. With either physical or verbal aggres-
sion, confl ict is escalated or obscured but not managed.
Persuasion A fourth method of managing confl ict is by persuasion. Persuasion is the attempt to change either the attitude or the behavior of another person in
order to seek accommodation. At times during the discussion of an issue, one party
may try to persuade the other that a particular action is the right one. Suppose that
at one point in their discussion about buying a car, Sheila says, “Don’t we need a
lot of room?” Kevin might reply, “Enough to get us into the car together, but I don’t
see why we need more than that.” Sheila and Kevin are now approaching a confl ict
situation. At this point, Sheila might say, “Kevin, we are constantly complaining
about the lack of room in our present car. Remember last month when you were
upset because we couldn’t even get our two suitcases into the trunk and we had to
put one of them in the backseat? And how many times have we been embarrassed
when we couldn’t drive our car with friends because the backseat is too small for
even two normal-sized people?” Statements like these represent an attempt at re-
solving the confl ict through persuasion.
When persuasion is open and reasonable, it can be a positive means of resolv-
ing confl ict. However, persuasion can also degenerate into manipulation, as when a
person says, “You know, if you back me on this, I could see to it that you get a few
more of the good accounts, and if you don’t, well . . .” Although persuasive efforts
may fuel a confl ict, if that persuasion has a solid logical base, it is at least possible
that the persuasion will resolve the confl ict.
Discussion A fi fth method of dealing with confl ict is problem-solving discussion—the verbal weighing and considering of the pros and cons of the is- sues in confl ict. Discussion is the most desirable means of dealing with confl ict in
a relationship because it provides for open consideration of issues and because it
preserves equality. Resolving confl ict through discussion is often diffi cult to ac-
complish, however, because it requires all parties involved to cooperate: The par-
ticipants must be objective in their presentation of issues, honest in stating their
feelings and beliefs, and open to the solution that proves to be most satisfactory
and in the best interests of those involved.
Problem-solving discussion includes defi ning and analyzing the problem,
suggesting possible solutions, selecting the solution that best fi ts the analysis, and
working to implement the decision. In everyday situations, all fi ve steps are not
always considered completely, nor are they necessarily considered in the order
given. But when two people perceive a confl ict emerging, they need to be willing
to step back from the confl ict and proceed systematically toward a solution.
16
17
18
19
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Does this process sound too idealized? Or impracticable? Discussion is diffi -
cult, but when two people commit themselves to trying, chances are that they will
discover that through discussion they arrive at solutions that meet both their needs
and do so in a way that maintains their relationship.
From Rudolph F. Verderber, Communicate! 8th ed. © 1996 Wadsworth, a part of Cengage Learning, Inc. Reproduced by permission. www.cengage.com/permissions
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word harbor in “Justina may force Eduardo to address the smoking issue, or she may go along with Eduardo’s ignoring it but harbor a resentment that
may negatively affect their relationship” (paragraph 7) means
a. hold on to.
b. avoid.
c. give up.
d. pretend.
2. The word accommodate in “Although altering a personal position in order to accommodate another can be positive when it’s done in the spirit of coopera-
tion . . .” (paragraph 11) means
a. to disagree with.
b. to adjust to.
c. to agree with.
d. to insult.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which sentence best expresses the main point of the selection?
a. Many people have a negative view of confl ict.
b. There are fi ve main ways, both positive and negative, with which people
deal with confl ict.
c. Confl icts can force people to make choices and to test their attitudes, ac-
tions, needs, and aims.
d. It is better not to intensify or hide confl ict.
2. The main idea of paragraphs 9–10 can be found in the
a. second sentence of paragraph 9.
b. third sentence of paragraph 9.
c. fi rst sentence of paragraph 10.
d. second sentence of paragraph 10.
21
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3. From the reading, we can infer that the author believes that
a. withdrawal never works.
b. whether or not surrender is generally a good way to manage confl ict is
related to one’s cultural perspective.
c. aggression is an attempt to change either the attitude or the behavior of
another person in order to seek accommodation.
d. discussion is the easiest way of dealing with confl ict in a relationship.
4. What is the relationship between the following two sentences:
“When persuasion is open and reasonable, it can be a positive means of resolv-
ing confl ict. However, persuasion can also degenerate into manipulation . . .”
(paragraph 18)?
a. comparison
b. contrast
c. cause and effect
d. illustration
5. Three of the following sentences are supporting details for an argument. Which
of the sentences expresses the point of those supporting details?
a. People who use aggression are concerned not with the merits of an issue
but only with who can force the other person to give in.
b. Aggression usually harms a relationship.
c. In aggression, thought is short-circuited and the person lashes out physi-
cally or verbally.
d. With either physical or verbal aggression, confl ict is escalated or obscured
but not managed.
6. We can infer that the author of this selection
a. believes that confl ict should be avoided at all costs.
b. feels that confl ict is the best way to strengthen a relationship.
c. feels that confl ict can be positive if handled appropriately.
d. believes that withdrawal is never an appropriate method of dealing with
confl ict.
7. True or False? In healthy relationships, confl ict can always be avoided.
8. True or False? One reason that discussion is effective in resolving confl icts is that it preserves equality.
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. Which of Verderber’s fi ve methods of dealing with confl ict do you—or do
people you know—typically use? Give examples.
2. Why do you think Verderber regards discussion as “the most desirable means
of dealing with confl ict in a relationship” (paragraph 19)? And why might he
feel that discussion “is often diffi cult to accomplish” (paragraph 19)?
3. Verderber writes that confl ict is sometimes useful because it forces us to make
choices and test attitudes. When in your life has confl ict been a good thing?
What did you learn from it?
4. Suggest ways that someone you know could be encouraged to deal effectively
with his or her specifi c confl ict.
5. Why does Verdeber believe that withdrawing from a confl ict rarely results in a
long-term resolution?
About Structure 6. What technique explained in Chapter 17 of this textbook does Verderber use to
introduce this material?
7. Why does Verderber use subheadings?
About Style and Tone 8. What method does the author use most often to defi ne concepts such as “psy-
chological withdrawal” and “surrender”?
9. How would your describe the author’s tone (his attitude toward his subject)?
a. emotional
b. objective and fair
c. cold and withdrawn
d. excited
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Think of a person you know whom you would defi ne as one of the following: a
withdrawer, a surrenderer, an aggressor, or a persuader. Write a paragraph in which
you describe this person and his or her approach to dealing with confl ict. Include
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at least one specifi c example of his or her behavior. Here are two sample topic
sentences like the one you might use.
Henry’s approach to problem-solving is sometimes too aggressive.
Alicia is afraid of personal confl ict and usually lets her husband and children get their way.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Verderber uses personal examples to discuss fi ve major patterns of dealing with
confl ict. However, confl ict doesn’t occur solely in personal relationships; it is often
experienced in the workplace as well. For instance, in order to avoid doing a particu-
lar task, a coworker may pass projects or assignments on to other workers. Or certain
coworkers may aggressively strong arm people to agree with their opinions and deci-
sions. Interview a coworker about a confl ict he or she has had at work and describe
how that confl ict was resolved. Or write a paragraph about a coworker with whom
you have experienced confl ict and describe how you resolved that confl ict. In either
case, refer specifi cally to Verderber’s fi ve methods and explain which were utilized.
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay When have you and another person had an important confl ict that you needed to deal
with? (To be “important,” the confl ict need not be earth-shattering, just a confl ict you
were unwilling to ignore.) Write an essay that describes the nature of the confl ict, and
then take the reader through the process that occurred as you and the other person
dealt with it. Use transitional words such as fi rst, next, and fi nally to help the reader follow the action. In the fi nal paragraph, provide a conclusion that states how satis-
fi ed or dissatisfi ed you felt about the process or that explains what you learned from
this experience. Here are two sample thesis statements like the one you might use.
I know now that Melissa had manipulated me when she convinced me to let her submit one of my English papers as her own.
Being aggressive is not the best way to fi ght a traffi c ticket.
Group Pressure Rodney Stark
PREVIEW
We’ve all experienced group pressure at one time or another, but how much do we really know about how that phenomenon affects us? The following selection from the college textbook Sociology (3rd ed.) by Rodney Stark, will give you a fascinating view of this common behavioral situation.
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It is self-evident that people tend to conform to the expectations and reactions
of others around them. But what are the limits of group pressure? Can group pres-
sure cause us to deny the obvious, even physical evidence?
Over thirty-fi ve years ago, Solomon Asch performed the most famous experi-
mental test of the power of group pressure to produce conformity. Since then his
study has been repeated many times, with many variations confi rming his original
results. Perhaps the best way to understand what Asch discovered is to pretend that
you are a subject in his experiment.
You have agreed to take part in an experiment on visual perception. Upon arriv-
ing at the laboratory, you are given the seventh in a line of eight chairs. Other stu-
dents taking part in the experiment sit in each of the other chairs. At the front of the
room the experimenter stands by a covered easel. He explains that he wants you to
judge the length of lines in a series of comparisons. He will place two decks of large
cards upon the easel. One card will display a single vertical line. The other card will
display three vertical lines, each of a different length. He wants each of you to decide
which of the three lines on one card is the same length as the single line on the other
card. To prepare you for the task, he displays a practice card. You see the correct line
easily, for the other lines are noticeably different from the comparison line.
The experiment begins. The fi rst comparison is just as easy as the practice com-
parison. One of the three lines is obviously the same length as the comparison line,
while the other two are very different. Each of the eight persons answers in turn,
with you answering seventh. Everyone answers correctly. On the second pair of
cards, the right answer is just as easy to spot, and again all eight subjects are correct.
You begin to suspect that the experiment is going to be a big bore.
Then comes the third pair. The judgment is just as easy as before. But the fi rst
person somehow picks a line that is obviously wrong. You smile. Then the second
person also picks the same obviously wrong line. What’s going on? Then the third,
fourth, fi fth, and sixth subjects answer the same way. It’s your turn. You know
without doubt that you are right,
yet six people have confi dently
given the wrong answer. You are
no longer bored. Instead, you are
a bit confused, but you go ahead
and choose the line you are sure is
right. Then the last person picks the
same wrong line everyone else has
chosen.
A new pair is unveiled, and the
same thing happens again. All the
others pick an obviously wrong line.
The experimenter remains matter-
of-fact, not commenting on right
or wrong answers but just marking
down what people pick. Should you
1
2
3
4
5
6
CAN YOU TELL WHICH LINES ARE EXACTLY THE same? Do you believe you would be able to stick to your opinion if everyone else in the room disagreed? Why or why not?
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660 Part 5 Readings for Writers
stick it out? Should you go along? Maybe something’s wrong with the light or with
your angle of vision. Your diffi culty lasts for eighteen pairs of cards. On twelve of
them, all the others picked a line you knew was incorrect.
When the experiment is over, the experimenter turns to you with a smile and
begins to explain. You were the only subject in the experiment. The other seven
people were stooges* paid by Professor Asch to answer exactly the way they did.
The aim of the experiment was to see if social pressure could cause you to reject
the evidence of your own eyes and conform.
In his fi rst experiment, Asch tested fi fty people in this situation. Almost a third of them
went along with the group and gave the wrong answer at least half of the time. Another
40 percent yielded to the group some of the time, but less than half of the time. Only
25 percent refused to yield at all. Those who yielded to group pressure were more likely
to do so as the experiment progressed. Nearly everyone withstood the group the fi rst
several times, but as they continued to fi nd themselves at odds with the group, most
subjects began to weaken. Many shifted in their chairs, trying to get a different line of
vision. Some blushed. Finally, 75 percent of them began to go along at least a few times.
The effects of group pressure were also revealed in the behavior of those who
steadfastly refused to accept the group’s misjudgments. Some of these people be-
came increasingly uneasy and apologetic. One subject began to whisper to his
neighbor, “Can’t help it, that’s the one,” and later, “I always disagree—darn it!”
Other subjects who refused to yield dealt with the stress of the situation by giving
each nonconforming response in a progressively louder voice and by casting chal-
lenging looks at the others. In a recent replication* of the Asch study, one subject
loudly insulted the other seven students whenever they made a wrong choice. One
retort was “What funny farm did you turkeys grow up on, huh?”
The Asch experiment shows that a high number of people will conform even
in a weak group situation. They were required merely to disagree with strang-
ers, not with their friends, and the costs of deviance were limited to about half an
hour of disapproval from people they hardly knew. Furthermore, subjects were not
faced with a diffi cult judgment—they could easily see the correct response. Little
wonder, then, that we are inclined to go along with our friends when the stakes are
much higher and we cannot even be certain that we are right.
From Rodney Stark, Sociology, 3rd. ed. © 1989 Wadsworth, a part of Cengage Learning, Inc. Reproduced by permission. www.cengage.com/permissions
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word stooges in “The other seven people were stooges paid by Professor
Asch to answer exactly the way they did” (paragraph 7) means
a. comedians.
b. people who played a role.
c. true subjects in an experiment.
d. educators.
7
8
9
10
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2. The word replication in “In a recent replication of the Asch study, one subject loudly insulted the other seven students . . . ” (paragraph 9) means
a. memory.
b. repeat.
c. image.
d. prediction.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following is the topic of the selection?
a. visual perception
b. Solomon Asch
c. Asch’s experiment on group pressure
d. stooges in an experiment
2. Which sentence from the reading comes closest to expressing the main idea of
the selection?
a. “Upon arriving at the laboratory, you are given the seventh in a line of eight
chairs.”
b. “The experimenter remains matter-of-fact, not commenting on right or
wrong answers but just marking down what people pick.”
c. “In his fi rst experiment, Asch tested fi fty people in this situation.”
d. “The Asch experiment shows that a high number of people will conform
even in a weak group situation.”
3. In Solomon Asch’s experiment, when does the subject realize that he or she is
the subject?
a. soon after the experiment begins.
b. during the experiment.
c. after the experiment ends.
d. never.
4. Most of the people Professor Asch tested
a. refused to yield to group pressure.
b. yielded to group pressure immediately.
c. yielded to group pressure eventually.
d. got angry because other members of the group gave incorrect answers.
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5. What percentage of the subjects in the experiment refused to conform?
a. 33
b. 50
c. 25
d. 75
6. The author implies that
a. the power of group pressure is limited.
b. Asch’s fi ndings are not supported by other research.
c. group pressure makes people deny what they know to be true.
d. group pressure can be easily withstood.
7. We can conclude from this essay that people react to group pressure
a. in ways that are similar.
b. in many different ways.
c. by conforming almost immediately.
d. by conforming only when threatened.
8. We can infer that, during the experiment, many of Asch’s subjects became
a. bored.
b. violent.
c. excited.
d. insecure.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content
1. Were you at all surprised by the results of Solomon Asch’s experiment? If
you had been one of the subjects, do you think you would have stuck to your
answers, or would you have gone along with the group? Why?
2. What reasons might the subjects in the Asch experiment have had for eventu-
ally giving in and accepting the group’s wrong answers?
3. Stark refers to the Asch experiment as a “weak group situation,” one in which
the group is made up of strangers and the stakes are not very high. What might
a “strong group situation” be? Give examples.
4. Have you ever been in a situation when you wanted to resist group pressure?
What was the situation, and why did you want to resist? What could you have
done to resist?
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About Structure 5. This essay uses several different patterns of development (as presented in
Part 2 and Chapter 17). Identify two of these patterns and provide support from
the essay to explain your answer.
6. Why does Stark address the reader directly by using “you”?
About Style and Tone 7. What effect does including direct quotations in paragraph 9 have in helping
Stark achieve his purpose?
8. Should what Stark says in the last paragraph be placed earlier in the essay?
Explain why or why not.
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Have you had the following experience? From conversation with a friend, you
believe you know his or her opinion on some matter. But when the two of you are
with a larger group, you hear the friend agree with the general group opinion, even
though it is different from the opinion he or she held before. The opinion might
be about something unimportant, such as the quality of a new movie or TV show.
Or it may be about something more important, such as whether or not someone is
likable. Write a description of that experience. An opening statement for this paper
might be something like this one:
Group pressure caused to change his (her) opinion about someone new at school.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph The “lines on the card” experiment gives just a hint of the kind of pressure that group
opinion can bring to bear on an individual. Advertising companies play into group
pressure to infl uence people to purchase products. For instance, restaurants often
show groups of happy, attractive people enjoying their food. Clothing companies
often depict their models as successful, forward-moving people. These images infl u-
ence people when they decide which restaurant to patronize or when they purchase
a new pair of pants. Write a paragraph in which you describe one or more examples
from your own life in which group pressure through advertising has infl uenced you
to purchase a certain item, visit a certain restaurant, or participate in a certain activity.
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay The Stark essay explains an experiment done to determine how peer pressure exerted by
strangers can affect someone. However, the author believes that pressure from friends
is often much stronger and, therefore, might make someone give in more quickly than
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the subjects in the experiment did. Do you agree? Write an essay in which you discuss
three examples of peer pressure on someone to do things he or she really didn’t want to
do. Take these examples from historical fi gures like President Truman or Rosa Parks;
people you know well, such as your parents or teachers; or your own personal experi-
ences. Try answering questions such as the following when you draft your essay:
• Who was the source of the pressure?
• How did he, she, or they exert this pressure?
• How did the person being pressured feel (angry, anxious, fearful,
uncomfortable, etc.)?
• What were the effects of the subject’s giving in to—or resisting—the
pressure?
From Father to Son, Last Words to Live By Dana Canedy
PREVIEW
On October 14, 2006, Dana Canedy’s fi ancé, First Sgt. Charles Monroe King, died in combat in Baghdad; their son Jordan was only seven months old. Before Charles was deployed to Iraq, he began recording a journal—a blend of stories from his life and pieces of advice—for Jordan. In this essay, Canedy, a New York Times editor, describes the acute pain of losing her son’s father and seeks comfort in the words he left behind.
He drew pictures of himself with angel wings. He left a set of his dog tags on
a nightstand in my Manhattan apartment. He bought a tiny blue sweat suit for our
baby to wear home from the hospital.
Then he began to write what would become a 200-page journal for our son, in
case he did not make it back from the desert in Iraq.
For months before my fi ancé, First Sgt. Charles Monroe King, kissed my swol-
len stomach and said goodbye, he had been preparing for the beginning of the life
we had created and for the end of his own.
He boarded a plane in December 2005 with two missions, really—to lead his
young soldiers in combat and to prepare our boy for a life without him.
Dear son, Charles wrote on the last page of the journal, “I hope this book is
somewhat helpful to you. Please forgive me for the poor handwriting and gram-
mar. I tried to fi nish this book before I was deployed to Iraq. It has to be something
special to you. I’ve been writing it in the states, Kuwait and Iraq.”
1
2
3
4
5
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The journal will have to speak for Charles now. He was killed Oct. 14 when
an improvised explosive device detonated near his armored vehicle in Baghdad.
Charles, 48, had been assigned to the Army’s First Battalion, 67th Armored Regi-
ment, Fourth Infantry Division, based in Fort Hood, Tex. He was a month from
completing his tour of duty.
For our son’s fi rst Christmas, Charles had hoped to take him on a carriage ride
through Central Park. Instead, Jordan, now 9 months old, and I snuggled under a
blanket in a horse-drawn buggy. The driver seemed puzzled about why I was riding
alone with a baby and crying on Christmas Day. I told him.
“No charge,” he said at the end of the ride, an act of kindness in a city that can
magnify loneliness.
On paper, Charles revealed himself in a way he rarely did in person. He thought
hard about what to say to a son who would have no memory of him. Even if Jordan
will never hear the cadence of his father’s voice, he will know the wisdom of his
words.
Never be ashamed to cry. No man is too good to get on his knee and humble
himself to God. Follow your heart and look for the strength of a woman.
Charles tried to anticipate questions in the years to come. Favorite team? I am
a diehard Cleveland Browns fan. Favorite meal? Chicken, fried or baked, candied
yams, collard greens and cornbread. Childhood chores? Shoveling snow and cut-
ting grass. First kiss? Eighth grade.
In neat block letters, he wrote about faith and failure, heartache and hope. He
offered tips on how to behave on a date and where to hide money on vacation.
Rainy days have their pleasures, he noted: Every now and then you get lucky and
catch a rainbow.
Charles mailed the book to me in July, after one of his soldiers was killed and
he had recovered the body from a tank. The journal was incomplete, but the horror
of the young man’s death shook Charles so deeply that he wanted to send it even
though he had more to say. He fi nished it when he came home on a two-week leave
in August to meet Jordan, then 5 months old. He was so intoxicated by love for his
son that he barely slept, instead keeping vigil over the baby.
I can fi ll in some of the blanks left for Jordan about his father. When we met in
my hometown of Radcliff, Ky., near Fort Knox, I did not consider Charles my type
at fi rst. He was bashful, a homebody and got his news from television rather than
newspapers (heresy, since I’m a New York Times editor). But he won me over. One day a couple of years ago, I pulled out a list of the
traits I wanted in a husband and realized that Charles had almost all of them. He
rose early to begin each day with prayers and a list of goals that he ticked off as
he accomplished them. He was meticulous,* even insisting on doing my ironing
because he deemed my wrinkle-removing skills defi cient. His rock-hard warrior’s
body made him appear tough, but he had a tender heart.
He doted on Christina, now 16, his daughter from a marriage that ended in
divorce. He made her blush when he showed her a tattoo with her name on his arm.
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
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666 Part 5 Readings for Writers
Toward women, he displayed an old-fashioned chivalry,* something he expected
of our son. Remember who taught you to speak, to walk and to be a gentleman,
he wrote to Jordan in his journal. These are your fi rst teachers, my little prince.
Protect them, embrace them and always treat them like a queen.
Though as a black man he sometimes felt the sting of discrimination, Charles
betrayed no bitterness. It’s not fair to judge someone by the color of their skin,
where they’re raised or their religious beliefs, he wrote. Appreciate people for who
they are and learn from their differences.
He had his faults, of course. Charles could be moody, easily wounded and
infuriatingly quiet, especially during an argument. And at times, I felt, he put the
military ahead of family.
He had enlisted in 1987, drawn by the discipline and challenges. Charles
had other options—he was a gifted artist who had trained at the Art Institute of Chicago—but felt fulfi lled as a soldier, something I respected but never really un- derstood. He had a chest full of medals and a fi erce devotion to his men.
He taught the youngest, barely out of high school, to balance their checkbooks,
counseled them about girlfriends and sometimes bailed them out of jail. When he
was home in August, I had a baby shower for him. One guest recently reminded
me that he had spent much of the evening worrying about his troops back in Iraq.
Charles knew the perils of war. During the months before he went away and
the days he returned on leave, we talked often about what might happen. In his
journal, he wrote about the loss of fellow soldiers. Still, I could not bear to answer
when Charles turned to me one day and asked, “You don’t think I’m coming back,
do you?” We never said aloud that the fear that he might not return was why we
decided to have a child before we planned a wedding, rather than risk never having
the chance.
But Charles missed Jordan’s birth because he refused to take a leave from Iraq
until all of his soldiers had gone home fi rst, a decision that hurt me at fi rst. And he
volunteered for the mission on which he died, a military offi cial told his sister, Gail
T. King. Although he was not required to join the resupply convoy in Baghdad, he
believed that his soldiers needed someone experienced with them. “He would say,
‘My boys are out there, I’ve got to go check on my boys’,” said First Sgt. Arentea-
nis A. Jenkins, Charles’s roommate in Iraq.
In my grief, that decision haunts me. Charles’s father faults himself for not
begging his son to avoid taking unnecessary risks. But he acknowledges that it
would not have made a difference. “He was a born leader,” said his father, Charlie
J. King. “And he believed what he was doing was right.”
Back in April, after a roadside bombing remarkably similar to that which
would claim him, Charles wrote about death and duty.
The 18th was a long, solemn night, he wrote in Jordan’s journal. We had a
memorial for two soldiers who were killed by an improvised explosive device.
None of my soldiers went to the memorial. Their excuse was that they didn’t want
to go because it was depressing. I told them it was selfi sh of them not to pay their
respects to two men who were selfl ess in giving their lives for their country.
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
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Things may not always be easy or pleasant for you, that’s life, but always pay
your respects for the way people lived and what they stood for. It’s the honorable
thing to do.
When Jordan is old enough to ask how his father died, I will tell him of
Charles’s courage and assure him of Charles’s love. And I will try to comfort him
with his father’s words.
God blessed me above all I could imagine, Charles wrote in the journal. I have
no regrets, serving your country is great.
He had tucked a message to me in the front of Jordan’s journal. This is the let-
ter every soldier should write, he said. For us, life will move on through Jordan. He
will be an extension of us and hopefully everything that we stand for. . . . I would
like to see him grow up to be a man, but only God knows what the future holds.
From The New York Times, January 1, 2007. © 2007 The New York Times. All rights reserved. Used by permission and protected by the Copyright Laws of the United States. The printing, copying, redistribution, or retransmission
of this Content without express written permission is prohibited. www.nytimes.com
VOCABULARY IN CONTEXT
1. The word meticulous in “He was meticulous, even insisting on doing my ironing because he deemed my wrinkle-removing skills defi cient” (paragraph 15) means
a. sloppy.
b. careful and precise.
c. generous and warm.
d. careless.
2. The word chivalry in “Toward women, he displayed an old-fashioned chivalry, something he expected of our son. Remember who taught you to speak, to walk
and to be a gentleman, he wrote to Jordan in his journal” (paragraph 16) means
a. politeness.
b. outlook.
c. rudeness.
d. attitude.
READING COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS
1. Which of the following would be the best alternative title for this selection?
a. A Soldier’s Letter
b. Jordan’s Early Years
c. A Father’s Gift to His Son
d. Charles’s Military Experience
26
27
28
29
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668 Part 5 Readings for Writers
2. Which sentence best expresses the main idea of the selection?
a. Charles Monroe King writes about his experiences as a soldier in Iraq.
b. Charles Monroe King provides his son Jordan with personal proverbs.
c. Both Jordan’s father, Charles Monroe King, and Jordan’s mother, Dana
Canedy, provide their son with words to live by.
d. Dana Canedy writes an article for the New York Times about her fi ancé’s love for their son, Jordan.
3. Charles Monroe King was killed
a. a month after starting his tour of duty in Iraq.
b. a month before taking leave to visit Jordan for the fi rst time.
c. a month before completing his tour of duty in Iraq.
d. a month after witnessing a roadside bombing that killed two of his soldiers.
4. True or False? Charles’s father begged his son to avoid taking unnec- essary risks by joining a resupply convoy in Baghdad.
5. Charles and his fi ancé fi rst met in
a. Radcliff, Kentucky.
b. New York, New York.
c. Cleveland, Ohio
d. Chicago, Illinois.
6. Which of the following did Charles not write in his journal?
a. Always be ashamed to cry.
b. It’s not fair to judge someone by the color of their skin.
c. Every now and then you get lucky and catch a rainbow.
d. Always pay your respects for the way people lived and what they stood for.
7. Charles wrote in his journal, “Follow your heart and look for the strength of a
woman” (paragraph 10). From this passage, we can infer that he
a. did not trust his mind.
b. felt that women were stronger than men.
c. felt that men were stronger than women.
d. was sincere and respected women.
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8. The author writes, “And at times, I felt, he put the military ahead of family”
(paragraph 18). After reading the entire selection, we can infer that she
a. never forgave Charles for putting the military ahead of his family.
b. should have begged Charles not to sign up for the dangerous convoy mission.
c. understood Charles’s duty to his country.
d. did not understand why Charles could not put his family ahead of the military.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
About Content 1. What did Charles hope to accomplish by writing the journal? Do you feel that
he was successful? What does the author, Charles’s fi ancée, hope to accom-
plish by writing her article and publishing it in the New York Times?
2. The author writes that “on paper, Charles revealed himself in a way he rarely
did in person” (paragraph 9). Why do you think this occurred?
3. What are some words of wisdom that you received from your parents or family
members? What words do you have to inspire others?
About Structure 4. What patterns of development does the author use in her essay? Explain.
5. The author uses several time transition words to signal time relationships. Find
three of these time words, and write them here:
6. In paragraphs 22 and 23, the author includes information told to her by people
other than Charles, such as his sister and his roommate in Iraq. Why do you
think she chose this narrative strategy?
About Style and Tone 7. In paragraphs 1 and 2, the author does not indicate whom the pronoun “he” re-
fers to: “He drew pictures of himself with angel wings. He left a set of his dog
tags on a nightstand in my Manhattan apartment. He bought a tiny blue sweat
suit for our baby to wear home from the hospital. Then he began to write what
would become a 200-page journal for our son, in case he did not make it back
from the desert in Iraq.” Why do you think she waited until the third paragraph
to provide a pronoun reference?
8. How do you think the author feels about America’s military involvement in
Iraq? Find evidence in the selection to support your opinion.
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670 Part 5 Readings for Writers
WRITING ASSIGNMENTS
Assignment 1: Writing a Paragraph Author Dana Canedy weaves excerpts from her fi ancé Charles’s journal into her
own essay about him. Write a paragraph about a person in your life whom you care
about—such as a relative, a spouse, or a close friend—but whom you recognize
has “faults, of course” (paragraph 18). Perhaps you enjoy this person’s company
but are annoyed by her grumbling. Or you admire the person’s work ethic but fi nd
his fl irting uncomfortable. In your topic sentence, state both sides of your feelings,
as in the following sample topic statement:
While Jim is a terrifi c supervisor, he sometimes fl irts too much with the offi ce staff.
Then fully describe one side of your subject’s personality before you begin de-
scribing the other. Throughout the paragraph, illustrate your point with specifi c
revealing comments and incidents.
Before you begin writing, describe your subject to a partner. Ask which sup-
porting details seem most interesting and most relevant to the topic.
Assignment 2: Writing a Paragraph Describe a person who has managed to positively touch the lives of nearly every-
one around him or her. Divide your paragraph into three sections. These sections
could be about individuals the person has impacted, such as any of these:
• A grandchild
• A former student
• A coworker
Assignment 3: Writing an Essay Charles Monroe King was a person who did not judge others by the color of their
skin, where they were raised, or their religious beliefs, perhaps because, as his
fi ancé pointed out, he “sometimes felt the sting of discrimination” (paragraph 17).
Write an essay about how it feels to be discriminated against. Select several spe-
cifi c instances in your life when you felt that someone was judging you unfairly.
In your essay, devote each supporting paragraph to one such anecdote, describing
what happened and how you responded.
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Reading Comprehension Chart 671
Reading Comprehension Chart Write an X through the numbers of any questions you missed while answering the
questions for each selection in Part 5, “Readings for Writers.” Then write in your
comprehension score. If you repeatedly miss questions in any particular skill, the
chart will make that clear. Then you can pay special attention to that skill in the
future. Note that, just as in the book, there are two separate sets of Questions 1
and 2—the fi rst set references the Vocabulary in Context questions and the second
set applies to the Reading Comprehension questions. This should not affect your
recording or your scoring.
Selection Vocabulary in Context
Title and Main Idea
Key Details
Inferences Comprehension Score
Mrosla 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Logan 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Urbina 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Curran 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Fisher 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 %
Bertram 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 %
Carson 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Collier 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Garland 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Scott 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Dickens 1 2 3 3 4 1 2 5 6 7 %
Headley 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 %
Verderber 1 2 1 2 5 3 4 6 7 8 %
Stark 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
Canedy 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 %
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672
This section covers rules that most native speakers of English take for
granted but that are useful for speakers of English as a second language
(ESL).
Articles An article is a noun marker—it signals that a noun will follow. There are two kinds of articles: indefi nite and defi nite. The indefi nite articles are a and an. Use a before a word that begins with a consonant sound:
a carrot, a pig, a uniform
(A is used before uniform because the u in that word sounds like the consonant y plus u, not a vowel sound.)
Use an before a word beginning with a vowel sound:
an excuse, an onion, an honor
(Honor begins with a vowel because the h is silent.)
The defi nite article is the:
the lemon, the fan
An article may come right before a noun:
a circle, the summer
Or an article may be separated from the noun by words that describe the noun:
a large circle, the long hot summer
There are various other noun markers, including quantity words (a few, many, a lot of ), numerals (one, ten, 120 ), demonstrative adjectives (this, these), adjectives (my, your, our ), and possessive nouns (Vinh’s, the school’s).
TI P
Articles with Count and Noncount Nouns To know whether to use an article with a noun and which article to use, you must recognize
count and noncount nouns. (A noun is a word used to name something—a person, place, thing, or idea.)
Count nouns name people, places, things, or ideas that can be counted and made into plu- rals, such as window, table, and principal (one window, two tables, three principals).
Noncount nouns refer to things or ideas that cannot be counted and therefore cannot be made into plurals, such as weather, anger, and happiness. The box below lists and illustrates common types of noncount nouns.
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COMMON NONCOUNT NOUNS Abstractions and emotions: joy, humor, patience, mercy, curiosity Activities: soccer, gardening, reading, writing, searching Foods: sugar, spaghetti, fudge, chicken, lettuce Gases and vapors: air, nitrogen, oxygen, smoke, steam Languages and areas of study: Laotian, German, social studies, calculus, biology Liquids: coffee, gasoline, soda, milk, water Materials that come in bulk or mass form: lumber, soil, dust, detergent, hay Natural occurrences: gravity, hail, snow, thunder, rust Other things that cannot be counted: clothing, furniture, homework, machinery, money, news, transportation, work
The quantity of a noncount noun can be expressed with a word or words called a qualifi er, such as some, more, a unit of, and so on. In the following two examples, the qualifi ers are shown in italic type, and the noncount nouns are shown in boldface type.
I hear a little anger in your voice.
The pea soup had gotten thick overnight, so Kala added more water to it.
Some words can be either count or noncount nouns, depending on whether they refer to one
or more individual items or to something in general:
The yearly rains in India are called monsoons.
(This sentence refers to individual rains; rains in this case is a count noun.)
Rain is something that farmers cannot live without.
(This sentence refers to rain in general; in this case, rain is a noncount noun.)
Using a or an with Nonspecifi c Singular Count Nouns Use a or an with singular nouns that are nonspecifi c. A noun is nonspecifi c when the reader doesn’t know its specifi c identity.
A penguin cannot fl y; it uses its “wings” to “fl y” through the water.
(The sentence refers to any penguin, not a specifi c one.)
There was a fi re today in our neighborhood.
(The reader isn’t familiar with the fi re. This is the fi rst time it is mentioned.)
Using the with Specifi c Nouns In general, use the with all specifi c nouns—specifi c singular, plural, and noncount nouns. A noun is specifi c—and therefore requires the article the—in the following cases:
• When the noun has already been mentioned once
There was a fi re today in our neighborhood. The fi re destroyed the Smiths’ garage.
(The is used with the second mention of fi re.)
• When the noun is identifi ed by a word or phrase in the sentence
The lights in the bathroom do not work.
(Lights is identifi ed by the words in the bathroom.)
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674 Appendix A: ESL Pointers
ACTIVITY 1 Underline the correct form of the noun in parentheses. Compare your answers with a partner’s.
1. (A telephone, Telephone) is found in almost every American home.
2. Franz has registered for (the, a) course in Asian history.
3. (The car, A car) Kim bought is four years old but in very good condition.
4. Dark (cloud, clouds) fi lled the skies over (the, a) valley.
5. My grandparents and cousins all live in (New Jersey, the New Jersey).
6. Adults should have (patience, the patience) when dealing with children.
• When the noun’s identity is suggested by the general context
The coffee at Billy’s Diner always tastes a week old.
(Coffee is identifi ed by the words at Billy’s Diner.)
• When the noun names something that is unique
Scientists warn that there is a growing hole in the ozone layer.
(Earth has only one ozone layer.)
• When the noun comes after a superlative adjective (best, biggest, wisest)
Many of the best distance runners come from East Africa.
Omitting Articles Omit articles with nonspecific plurals and nonspecific noncount nouns. Plurals and
noncount nouns are nonspecific when they refer to something in general.
Lights were on all over the empty house.
Coffee should be stored in the refrigerator or freezer if possible.
Runners from Kenya, Ethiopia, and Tanzania often win world-class races.
Using the with Proper Nouns Proper nouns name particular people, places, things, or ideas and are always capitalized. Most proper nouns do not require articles; those that do, however, require the. Following are general guidelines about when and when not to use the. Do not use the for most singular proper nouns, including names of the following:
• People and aeapnimals (Rosa Parks, Skipper)
• Continents, states, cities, streets, and parks (Asia, North Dakota, San Diego, Rodeo Boulevard, Fairmount Park)
• Most countries (Thailand, Argentina, England)
• Individual bodies of water, islands, and mountains (Lake Tahoe, Prince Edward Island, Mount Saint Helens)
Use the for the following types of proper nouns:
• Plural proper nouns (the Jacksons, the United Arab Emirates, the Great Lakes, the Appalachian Mountains)
• Names of large geographic areas, deserts, oceans, seas, and rivers (the Northeast, the Gobi Desert, the Indian Ocean, the Mediterranean Sea, the Hudson River)
• Names with the format “the of ” (the king of Sweden, the Gulf of Aden, the University of New Hampshire)
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7. My dog is afraid of (thunder, thunders).
8. Cats are known for having a great deal of (curiosity, the curiosity).
9. Through the ages, (wine, the wine) has been made out of many fruits other than grapes,
such as apples and blueberries.
10. People often get lost when hiking through (Pine Barrens, the Pine Barrens), a forest in
New Jersey.
Subjects and Verbs Avoiding Repeated Subjects In English, a particular subject can be used only once in a word group with a subject and a verb.
Don’t repeat a subject in the same word group by following a noun with a pronoun.
Incorrect: My friend she is a wonderful cook.
Correct: My friend is a wonderful cook.
Correct: She is a wonderful cook.
Even when the subject and verb are separated by several words, the subject cannot be repeated
in the same word group.
Incorrect: The fl owers that are blooming in the yard they are called snapdragons.
Correct: The fl owers that are blooming in the yard are called snapdragons.
Including Pronoun Subjects and Linking Verbs Some languages may omit a pronoun as a subject, but in English, every sentence other than a
command must have a subject. (In a command, the subject you is understood: [You] Hand in your papers now.)
Incorrect: The party was a success. Was lots of fun.
Correct: The party was a success. It was lots of fun.
Every English sentence must also have a verb, even when the meaning of the sentence is
clear without the verb.
Incorrect: Rosa’s handwriting very neat.
Correct: Rosa’s handwriting is very neat.
Including Th ere and Here at the Beginning of Sentences Some English sentences begin with there or here plus a linking verb (usually a form of to be: is, are, and so on). In such sentences, the verb comes before the subject.
There are oranges in the refrigerator.
(The subject is the plural noun oranges, so the plural verb are is used.)
Here is the book you wanted.
(The subject is the singular noun book, so the singular verb is is used.)
In sentences like those above, remember not to omit there or here.
Incorrect: Are many good reasons to quit smoking.
Correct: There are many good reasons to quit smoking.
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676 Appendix A: ESL Pointers
The topic of subjects and verbs is covered more comprehensively in Chapter 18, “Subjects and Verbs,” and Chapter 24, “Subject-Verb Agreement.”TI
P Not Using the Progressive Tense of Certain Verbs The progressive tenses are made up of forms of be plus the -ing form of the main verb. They express actions or conditions still in progress at a particular time.
Iris will be running for student-body president this year.
However, verbs for mental states, the senses, possession, and inclusion are normally not used
in the progressive tense.
Incorrect: I am loving chocolate.
Correct: I love chocolate.
Incorrect: Sonia is having a lovely singing voice.
Correct: Sonia has a lovely singing voice.
Common verbs not generally used in the progressive tense are listed in the box below.
COMMON VERBS NOT GENERALLY USED IN THE PROGRESSIVE
Thoughts, attitudes, and desires: agree, believe, imagine, know, like, love, prefer, think, understand, want, wish Sense perceptions: hear, see, smell, taste Appearances: appear, seem, look Possession: belong, have, own, possess Inclusion: contain, include
Using Gerunds and Infi nitives after Verbs A gerund is the -ing form of a verb that is used as a noun:
Complaining is my cousin’s favorite activity.
(Complaining is the subject of the sentence.)
An infi nitive is to plus the basic form of the verb (the form in which the verb is listed in the dictionary), as in to eat. The infi nitive can function as an adverb, an adjective, or a noun.
We were delighted to eat dinner on the porch.
(To eat dinner on the porch functions as an adverb that describes the verb adjective delighted.)
Simon built a shelf to hold his DVD collection.
(To hold his DVD collection functions as an adjective describing the noun shelf.)
To have good friends is a blessing.
(To have good friends functions as a noun—the subject of the verb is.)
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Some verbs can be followed by only a gerund or only an infi nitive; other verbs can be fol-
lowed by either. Examples are given in the following lists. There are many others; watch for
them in your reading.
Verb + gerund (dislike + studying ) Verb + preposition + gerund (insist + on + paying ) Some verbs can be followed by a gerund but not by an infi nitive. In many cases, there is a prepo-
sition (such as for, in, or of ) between the verb and the gerund. Following are some verbs and verb-preposition combinations that can be followed by gerunds but not by infi nitives.
admit apologize for appreciate approve of avoid be used to believe in
deny discuss dislike enjoy feel like fi nish insist on
look forward to postpone practice suspect of talk about thank for think about
Incorrect: Sometimes I enjoy to eat by myself in a restaurant.
Correct: Sometimes I enjoy eating by myself in a restaurant.
Incorrect: Do you feel like to dance?
Correct: Do you feel like dancing?
Verb + infi nitive (agree + to leave) Following are common verbs that can be followed by an infi nitive but not by a gerund.
agree arrange claim
decide expect have
manage refuse wait
Incorrect: I agreed taking Grandma shopping this afternoon.
Correct: I agreed to take Grandma shopping this afternoon.
Verb + noun or pronoun + infi nitive (cause + them + to fl ee) Below are common verbs that are fi rst followed by a noun or pronoun and then by an infi nitive,
not a gerund.
cause command
force persuade
remind warn
Incorrect: The queen commanded the prince obeying.
Correct: The queen commanded the prince to obey.
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678 Appendix A: ESL Pointers
Below are common verbs that can be followed either by an infi nitive alone or by a noun or
pronoun and an infi nitive.
ask expect
need promise
want would like
Jerry would like to join the army.
Jerry’s parents would like him to go to college.
Verb + gerund or infi nitive (begin + packing, or begin + to pack) Below are verbs that can be followed by either a gerund or an infi nitive.
begin continue
hate love
prefer start
The meaning of each of the verbs above remains the same or almost the same whether a gerund
or an infi nitive is used.
I prefer eating dinner early.
I prefer to eat dinner early.
With the verbs below, the gerunds and the infi nitives have very different meanings.
forget remember stop
Nadia stopped to put on makeup.
(She interrupted something to put on makeup.)
Nadia stopped putting on makeup.
(She discontinued putting on makeup.)
The topic of verbs is covered more comprehensively in Chapter 22, “Reg- ular and Irregular Verbs,” Chapter 23, “Standard English Verbs,” and Chapter 24, “Subject-Verb Agreement.”
TI P
ACTIVITY 2 Underline the correct form in parentheses.
1. The waiter (he recited, recited) a list of dinner specials so long that I got a headache.
2. The rain seems to have stopped. (It’s, Is) going to be a beautiful day.
3. (Are paints and crayons, There are paints and crayons) in that cupboard.
4. That book (contains, is containing) photos of our wedding.
5. My midterm math grade persuaded me (getting, to get) a tutor.
6. After walking in the hot sun, we (very thirsty, were very thirsty).
7. Professor Wilhelm agreed (to repeat, repeat) the lecture for students who had not been
able to attend it.
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8. Lucia (expects earning, expects to earn) a B in the class.
9. The pigeons on the sidewalk (pick up, they pick up) crumbs of food that people drop.
10. For lunch today I (want, am wanting) a big salad.
Adjectives Following the Order of Adjectives in English Adjectives describe nouns and pronouns. In English, an adjective usually comes directly before the word it describes or after a linking verb (a form of be or a “sense” verb such as look, seem, and taste), in which case it modifi es the subject. In each of the following two sentences, the adjective is boldfaced and the noun it describes is italicized.
That is a bright light.
That light is bright.
When more than one adjective modifi es the same noun, the adjectives are usually stated
in a certain order, though there are often exceptions. Following is the typical order of English
adjectives.
TYPICAL ORDER OF ADJECTIVES IN A SERIES 1. An article or another noun marker: a, an, the, Joseph’s, this, three, your 2. Opinion adjective: exciting, plain, annoying, diffi cult 3. Size: enormous, huge, petite, tiny 4. Shape: circular, short, round, square 5. Age: newborn, recent, old, new, young 6. Color: pink, yellow, orange, white 7. Nationality: Italian, Chinese, Guatemalan, Russian 8. Religion: Buddhist, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim 9. Material: plastic, silver, cement, cotton 10. Noun used as an adjective: school (as in school bus), closet (as in closet shelf),
birthday (as in birthday party)
Here are some examples of the order of adjectives:
an interesting old story
the long orange cotton dress
your elderly Hungarian cousin
Rafael’s friendly little black dog
In general, use no more than two or three adjectives after the article or other noun marker.
Numerous adjectives in a series can be awkward: the lovely little old Methodist stone church.
Using the Present and Past Participles as Adjectives The present participle ends in -ing. Past participles of regular verbs end in -ed or -d; a list of the past participles of many common irregular verbs appears on pages 394–397. Both types of
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680 Appendix A: ESL Pointers
participles may be used as adjectives. A participle used as an adjective may come before the
word it describes:
It was a boring lecture.
A participle used as an adjective may also follow a linking verb and describe the subject of
the sentence:
The lecture was boring.
While both present and past participles of a particular verb may be used as adjectives,
their meanings differ. Use the present participle to describe whoever or whatever causes a
feeling:
a surprising conversation
(The conversation caused the surprise.)
Use the past participle to describe whoever or whatever experiences the feeling:
the surprised waitress
(The waitress is surprised.)
Here are two more sentences that illustrate the differing meanings of present and past participles.
The horror movie was frightening.
The audience was frightened.
(The movie caused the fear; the audience experienced the fear.)
Following are pairs of present and past participles with similar distinctions:
annoying / annoyed boring / bored confusing / confused depressing / depressed exciting / excited
exhausting / exhausted fascinating / fascinated tiring / tired surprising / surprised
The topic of adjectives is covered more comprehensively in Chapter 27, “Adjectives and Adverbs.”TI
P
Underline the correct form in parentheses.
1. The (green large snake, large green snake) slithered on the lawn.
2. At the party, Julie sang a(n) (Vietnamese old, old Vietnamese) song.
3. Joanna wore a (silk blue scarf, blue silk scarf) over her beautiful red hair.
4. The long walk home from the supermarket left Mira feeling (exhausting, exhausted).
5. The constant barking of our neighbor’s dog is very (annoying, annoyed).
ACTIVITY 3
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Prepositions Used for Time and Place In English, the use of prepositions is often not based on their common meanings, and there are
many exceptions to general rules. As a result, correct use of prepositions must be learned gradu-
ally through experience. Following is a chart showing how three of the most common preposi-
tions are used in some customary references to time and place.
USE OF ON, IN, AND AT TO REFER TO TIME AND PLACE Time On a specifi c day: on Saturday, on June 12, on your birthday In a part of a day: in the morning, in the daytime (but at night) In a month or a year: in November, in 1492 In a period of time: in a minute, in a couple of days, in a while At a specifi c time: at 10:00 A.M., at dawn, at sunset, at dinnertime
Place On a surface: on the dresser, on the porch, on the roof In a place that is enclosed: in my bedroom, in the hallway, in the drawer At a specifi c location: at the pool, at the bar, at the racetrack
Underline the correct preposition in parentheses.
1. We’ll resume the meeting (on, in) fi fteen minutes.
2. The sailboat drifted (on, at) the quiet bay as the crew waited for the wind to return.
3. I plan to watch the game (on, in) a large TV.
4. Sonia is moving to Florida (in, at) a month.
5. The children’s birthday party was held (on, at) the bowling alley.
ACTIVITY 4
REVIEW TEST Underline the correct form in parentheses.
1. When I looked out the window, I was surprised to see large puddles of (rain, rains).
2. (Is there, Is) enough room for our luggage in the trunk?
3. There are plenty of fi sh (in, at) the sea, Elisa told Serena, who had just broken up with her
boyfriend.
4. Owls hunt (at, in) night and sleep most of the day.
5. Larry (postponed to go, postponed going) on vacation because he broke his foot.
6. My English teacher wears a (silver small, small silver) ring in his ear.
7. Marta (has, is having) a very bad cold.
8. (On, In) Valentine’s Day, friends and lovers send each other affectionate cards.
9. Skinless (chicken, chickens) breasts are a food most doctors recommend because of the
low fat content.
10. The customers (annoying, annoyed) by the rude waiter complained to the restaurant manager.
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682
Part 1 This test will help you check your knowledge of important sentence skills. Certain
parts of the following word groups are underlined. Write X in the answer space if you think a mistake appears at the underlined part. Write C in the answer space if you think the underlined part is correct.
A series of headings (“Fragments,” “Run-Ons,” and so on) will give you clues
to the mistakes to look for. However, you do not have to understand the label to fi nd
a mistake. What you are checking is your own sense of effective written English.
Fragments 1. Because I could not sleep. I turned on my light and read. I fi nished my
book by 6:00 a.m.
2. Calling his dog’s name, Todd walked up and down the street. He fi nally
found his dog at the local park.
3. My little sister will eat anything. Except meat, vegetables, and fruit.
4. A country in Central American bordered by Mexico to the north.
Guatemala is famous for its coffee.
5. The reporter turned on her laptop. Then she began to type quickly as the
defendant gave his testimony.
6. One of my greatest joys in life is eating desserts. Such as blueberry cheesecake
and vanilla cream puffs. Almond fudge cake makes me want to dance.
Run-Ons 7. We couldn’t view the Picasso exhibit because the museum is closed on Mondays.
8. The window shade snapped up like a gunshot her cat leaped four feet off
the fl oor.
9. The chain on my bike likes to chew up my pants, it leaves grease marks on
my ankle as well.
10. The Allies landed in Normandy in June 1944, the war in Europe was over
in less than a year.
11. My fi rst boyfriend was fi ve years old. We met every day in the playground
sandbox.
12. The store owner watched the shopper carefully, she suspected him of
stealing from her before.
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Regular and Irregular Verbs 13. Henry Folger gived the money to establish the Folger Shakespeare Library
in Washington, D.C.
14. She had written four poems and a short story before she was twelve.
15. When the mud slide started, the whole neighborhood began going downhill.
16. Juan has rode the bus to school for two years while saving for a car.
Standard English Verbs 17. Jed sells cars for a living and enjoys his job.
18. You snored like a chain saw last night.
19. After Massachusetts exiled Roger Williams in 1635, he settle in what is
now Providence, Rhode Island.
20. Charlotte react badly whenever she gets caught in a traffi c jam.
Consistent Verb Tense 21. The South had a rural economy before the Civil War begins in 1861.
22. The fi rst thing Jerry does every day is weigh himself. The scale informs
him what kind of meals he can eat that day.
23. Sandy eats a nutritional breakfast, skips lunch, and then enjoys a big dinner.
24. His parents stayed together for his sake; only after he graduates from
college were they divorced.
Subject-Verb Agreement 25. There is long lines at the checkout counter.
26. Two cookies were left on the plate.
27. One of the crooked politicians was jailed for a month.
28. The Allegheny and Monongahela Rivers joins in Pittsburgh to form the
Ohio River.
Pronoun Agreement, Reference, and Point of View 29. Someone in my neighborhood lets their dog run loose.
30. I enjoy movies, like Saw, that frighten me.
31. Every guest at the party dressed like their favorite cartoon character.
32. People who visit foreign countries must carry their passports.
33. After Tony reviewed his notes with Bob, he passed the exam with ease.
34. I love hot peppers, but they do not always agree with me.
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684 Appendix B: Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test
Pronoun Types 35. Him and Antoine joined the soccer team.
36. No one is a better cook than she.
Adjectives and Adverbs 37. Bonnie ran quick up the steps, taking them two at a time.
38. Parts of Holland are more lower than sea level.
Misplaced Modifi ers 39. Clyde and Charlotte decided to have two children on their wedding day.
40. Charlotte returned the hamburger that was spoiled to the supermarket.
41. Jamal test-drove a car at the dealership with power windows and a sunroof.
42. The students no longer like the math instructor who failed the test.
Dangling Modifi ers 43. Tapping a pencil on the table, Ms. Garcia asked for the students’ attention.
44. Walking across the fi eld, a river came into view.
45. Busy talking on a cell phone, his car went through a red light.
46. Falling to the ground, the rising sun was greeted by the tan beachcombers.
Faulty Parallelism 47. The sky got dark, lightning fl ashed, the wind howled, and a massive storm
approaching the city.
48. The recipe instructed me to chop onions, to peel carrots, and to boil a pot
of water.
49. In London, we ate fi sh and chips, visited the British Museum, and
traveling around the city in a double-decker bus.
50. Jackie enjoys shopping for new clothes, surfi ng the Internet, and walking her dog.
Capital Letters 51. After being out in a cold drizzling rain, I looked forward to a bowl of
campbell’s soup for lunch.
52. Julio is taking a vacation in august this year.
53. I asked my friend, “Were you born in Idaho?”
54. During the Winter months, my grandfather burns wood in his Franklin stove.
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Numbers and Abbreviations 55. After we completed the class activity, the prof. told us we could go home.
56. At the age of 18, a person is considered an adult.
Apostrophe 57. It was a twist to see a long line outside the men’s room.
58. Clydes quick hands reached out to break his son’s fall.
59. We can’t go to Paris without visiting the Eiffel Tower.
60. They didn’t study as hard as they should have for the test.
Quotation Marks 61. Mark Twain once said, “The more I know about human beings, the more
I like my dog.”
62. Say something tender to me, “whispered Tony to Lola.”
63. “Ask not what your country can do for you, said President Kennedy.”
64. “To err is human,” Alexander Pope wrote, “to forgive divine.”
Comma 65. Some major European capitals include London Paris Rome Madrid and
Berlin.
66. Although he had little formal education Thomas Alva Edison became a
great inventor.
67. Sandra didn’t have to study much for her algebra fi nal, for she was a
mathematical genius.
68. The large clock which was in the library’s foyer told us that the place was
closing.
69. Dogs, according to most cat lovers, are inferior pets.
70. His father shouted “Why don’t you go out and get a job?”
Spelling 71. We studied very hard for our grammer test.
72. My thirteen-year-old brother recieved an award at the end of eighth grade.
73. Neither her husband nor her son wanted to go to the home decorating
store.
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686 Appendix B: Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test
Commonly Confused Words 74. We were grateful to hear that the storm would not effect us.
75. Your never too old to learn a foreign language.
76. It’s important to get this job done properly.
77. Will you except this job if it’s offered to you, or keep looking for
something better?
Effective Word Choice 78. The movie was a real bomb, so we left early.
79. Arthur never goes to fast-food restaurants; he avoids them like the plague.
80. Jason’s face turned red in color after he swallowed the hot peppers.
Part 2 (Optional) Do Part 2 at your instructor’s request. This second part of the test will provide more
detailed information about skills you need to know. On a separate piece of paper,
number and correct all the items in Part 1 that you marked with an X. For example,
suppose you had marked the following word groups with an X. (Note that these
examples are not taken from the test.)
4. If football games disappeared entirely from television. I would not even miss
them. Other people in my family would perish.
7. The kitten suddenly saw her refl ection in the mirror, she jumped back in
surprise.
15. Nashville Tennessee is the capital of country music.
29. The fi rst woman to obtain a medical license in Italy Maria Montessori was a
pioneer in education for children.
Here is how you should write your corrections on a separate sheet of paper.
4. television, I
7. mirror, and
15. Nashville, Tennessee
29. in Italy, Maria
There are more than forty corrections to make in all.
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687
Part 1 This test will help you measure your improvement in important sentence skills. Cer-
tain parts of the following word groups are underlined. Write X in the answer space if you think a mistake appears at the underlined part. Write C in the answer space if you think the underlined part is correct.
The headings (“Fragments,” “Run-Ons,” and so on) will give you clues to the
mistakes to look for.
Fragments 1. After a careless driver hit my motorcycle, I decided to buy a car. At least I
would have more protection against other careless drivers.
2. Because of her work with autistic children. Dr. Marie Sorrentino was
awarded a National Science Foundation grant. As a result, she was able to
continue her research.
3. In 1918, Francis March wrote A History of the World War. Which is what World War I was then called. That name changed when World War II broke
out.
4. Waiting for the box offi ce to open for six hours was exhausting, but we were
the third people to get tickets to the concert. It was sold out within an hour.
5. My brother and I seldom have fi ghts about what to watch on television.
Except with baseball games. I get bored watching baseball.
6. My new roommate and I have split the chores. She is responsible for
vacuuming and cleaning the kitchen. I am responsible for cleaning the
bathroom and dusting. In addition, we both clean our own rooms.
Run-Ons 7. The snow on most roads had been cleared off quite well, traffi c was
moving normally.
8. The bald eagle is also known as the American eagle, for it is the national
bird of the United States.
9. I got through the interview without breaking out in a sweat I also managed
to keep my voice under control.
10. My local bookshop struggles to make a profi t in this age of online
shopping. I go there as often as possible to purchase my books.
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688 Appendix C: Sentence-Skills Achievement Test
11. My most valued possession is my slow cooker, I can make entire meals in
it at a low cost.
12. The shopping carts outside the supermarket seemed welded together, Rita
could not separate one from another.
Regular and Irregular Verbs 13. The large pile of snow had shrank signifi cantly after the weather got warm.
14. That woman has never ran for political offi ce before.
15. They remembered to shut the car windows; in any case, it didn’t rain.
16. They had ate the gallon of natural vanilla ice cream in just one night.
Standard English Verbs 17. Danielle work at a local ice cream shop called Poppi’s.
18. For recreation he sets up hundreds of dominoes, and then he knocks them
over.
19. He stopped taking a nap after lunch because he then had trouble sleeping
at night.
20. There was no bread for sandwiches, so he decided to drive to the store.
Consistent Verb Tense 21. On the night of his surprise party, Alex wanted to stay home, but his sister
convinced him to accompany her to the restaurant where the guests are
waiting.
22. Jan plays a tennis match every Tuesday night, and she has lessons every
Thursday and Saturday.
23. Juan ran down the hall without looking and trips over the toy truck lying
on the fl oor.
24. Debbie enjoys riding her bike in the newly built park, which features a
special path for bikers and runners.
Subject-Verb Agreement 25. The children watch as the six geese, which have just landed on the
meadow, waddles into the pond.
26. There are two minutes left in the football game.
27. He believes fi lms that feature violence is a disgrace to our society.
28. The closet bursting with shoes and clothes were the largest I had ever seen.
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Pronoun Agreement, Reference, and Point of View 29. The museum guides assigned to the students’ tour were willing to discuss
any of the exhibits that you asked them about.
30. We did not return to the amusement park, for we had to pay too much for
the rides and meals.
31. Drivers should check the oil level in their cars every three months.
32. Someone who wastes money as much as Anton puts their family’s
fi nancial security in jeopardy.
33. Sharon’s mother was overjoyed when Sharon became pregnant.
34. His cell phone is so old you have to fl ip it open to make or answer a call.
Pronoun Types 35. Tawnya and us are going out to eat at a new restaurant tonight.
36. No one in the class is better at computer programming than he.
Adjectives and Adverbs 37. The old gentleman had really bad arthritis, so he walked very awkward.
38. Let’s hope the weather doesn’t get any more worse.
Misplaced Modifi ers 39 To be cooked well, people should steam their vegetables.
40. With a mile-wide grin, Betty turned in her winning raffl e ticket.
41. I bought a beautiful shirt in a local store with long sleeves and French cuffs.
42. I fi rst spotted the turtle playing tag on the back lawn.
Dangling Modifi ers 43. While still a little girl, her father was appointed company president.
44. Running across the fi eld, I caught the baseball.
45. Going down the elevator from the rooftop restaurant, a crowd awaited us
on the ground fl oor.
46. Looking into the window, the living room was cozy and homey.
Faulty Parallelism 47. The book was well written, interesting, and many instructors assigned it.
48. I put my books in a locker, changed into my gym clothes, and hurried to
the yoga class.
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690 Appendix C: Sentence-Skills Achievement Test
49. Jogging, playing tennis, and a daily swim kept John from gaining back the
weight he had lost.
50. In the evening I plan to write a paper, to watch a movie, and to read two
chapters in my biology text.
Capital Letters 51. I asked Cindy, “what time will you be leaving?”
52. On the breakfast table sat a carton of orange juice, a banana, and a bowl of
cheerios cereal.
53. Mother ordered a raincoat from the catalog on Monday, and it arrived four
days later.
Numbers and Abbreviations 54. Every Tues. afternoon, I have to prepare a report for my boss.
55. Ray has more than 100 copies of Highlights for Children.
Apostrophe 56. Marians attention was focused on the bride’s gown, a Paris original.
57. He’s failing the course because he doesn’t have any confi dence in his ability to
do the work.
58. Clyde was incensed at the dentist who charged him ninety dollars to fi x his
son’s tooth.
59. Sophia spoiled her dogs’ so much that their food dishes were made from
real crystal.
Quotation Marks 60. In Greek mythology, Daedalus warned his son Icarus, “Don’t fl y too near the sun.
61. Martha said to Fred at bedtime, “Why is it that men’s pajamas always have
such baggy bottoms?” “You look like a circus clown in that fl annel outfi t.”
62. The red sign on the door read, “Warning—open only in case of an emergency.”
63. “I adore eating gourmet food,” said Rick. “Could we try this new
restaurant I was reading about?”
Comma 64. Artie attended his morning classes, ate lunch, studied for his math test,
went to work, got home, and fell right to sleep.
65. Although we wanted to visit France we spent all of our vacation in Spain.
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66. He wanted a new car, so he took on a second job to earn extra money.
67. “Thank goodness I’m almost done” I said aloud with every stroke of the
broom.
68. Last night I ran into my old friend Sasha who was studying for a physics exam
in the library.
Spelling 69. Rosemary was glad she had taken the course on American goverment.
70. My brothers have alot of toys in their room.
71. I had hoped to study for my foreign language exam yesterday, but I had a
migraine, so I slept instead.
Commonly Confused Words 72. The principal upon which the economist based his predictions seemed a bit
strange.
73. Fortunately, I was not driving very fast when my car lost it’s brakes.
74. There are too many steps in the math formula for me to understand it.
75. The counseling center can advise you on how to prepare for an interview.
76. To many students seem to give up after getting a poor grade on one exam.
Effective Word Use 77. The instructor used the telephone to make a phone call to discuss Ron’s
social maladjustment diffi culties.
78. I thought the course would be a piece of cake, but a ten-page paper was
required.
79. The economy has taken a turn for the worse, but it goes without saying
that it will improve soon.
80. Spike gave away his television owing to the fact that it distracted him from
studying.
Part 2 (Optional) Do Part 2 at your instructor’s request. This second part of the test will provide more
detailed information about your improvement in sentence skills. On a separate
piece of paper, number and correct all the items you have marked with an X. For examples, see page 686. There are more than forty corrections to make in all.
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692
Preview This Appendix provides answers for the Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test, Appendix B.
SENTENCE-SKILLS DIAGNOSTIC TEST (Appendix B) Fragments 1. X
2. C
3. X
4. X
5. C
6. X
Run-Ons 7. C
8. X
9. X
10. X
11. C
12. X
Regular and Irregular Verbs 13. X
14. C
15. C
16. X
Standard English Verbs 17. C
18. C
19. X
20. X
Consistent Verb Tense 21. X
22. C
23. C
24. X
Subject-Verb Agreement 25. X
26. C
27. C
28. X
Pronoun Agreement, Reference, and Point of View 29. X
30. C
31. X
32. C
33. X
34. C
Pronoun Types 35. X
36. C
Adjectives and Adverbs 37. X
38. X
Misplaced Modifi ers 39. X
40. C
41. X
42. X
Dangling Modifi ers 43. C
44. X
45. X
46. X
Faulty Parallelism 47. X
48. C
49. X
50. C
Capital Letters 51. X
52. X
53. C
54. X
Numbers and Abbreviations 55. X
56. X
Apostrophe 57. C
58. X
59. C
60. C
Quotation Marks 61. C
62. X
63. X
64. C
Comma 65. X
66. X
67. C
68. X
69. C
70. X
Spelling 71. X
72. X
73. C
Commonly Confused Words 74. X
75. X
76. C
77. X
Effective Word Choice 78. X
79. X
80. X
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693
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Chapter 43 Page 548: “All the Good Things” by Sister Helen P. Mrosla, O.S.F. Originally published in Proteus, Spring 1991. Reprinted by permission of Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls, c/o Briggs and Morgan,
Minneapolis, as edited and published by Reader’s Digest in October 1991; p. 562: “‘Extra Large,’ Please” by Diane Urbina. Reprinted by permission of the author; p. 569: “What Good Families Are Doing Right” by Dolores Curran. Reprinted from McCall’s, March 1983. Reprinted by permission of Dolores Curran, author and parent-educator; p. 582: Suzanne Fisher Staples, “Different Is Just Different,” The ALAN Review, vol. 22, no. 2 (Winter 1995). Reprinted by permission of The ALAN Review.
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or retransmission of this Content without express written permission is prohibited. www.nytimes.com
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694 Credits
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696
Abbreviations, 457–458, 684, 690
Academic Search Premier, 175
Accent marks, in dictionary
entries, 494
Added-detail fragments, 374–376
Addition words, 92–93
Addresses, commas in, 481
Adequate details
importance of, 64–66
recognizing, 82–84
Adjectives
achievement test, 689
common mistake with, 431
defi ned, 428
diagnostic test, 683
ESL pointers for using,
679–680
in series, 126–127
using to compare, 428–430
Adverbs
achievement test, 689
common mistake with, 431
defi ned, 430
diagnostic test, 683
well and good, 431
Agreement
pronouns, 416–421
subject-verb, 410–415, 529, 536,
537, 683, 688
“All the Good Things” (Mrosla)
content, 548–550
discussion questions, 552–553
preview, 548
reading comprehension
questions, 551–552
vocabulary in context, 550–551
writing assignments, 553–554
Amazon.com, 174
The American Heritage Dictionary, 490
Antonyms, 492
“Anxiety: Challenge by Another
Name” (Collier)
content, 612–615
discussion questions, 616–617
preview, 612
reading comprehension
questions, 615–616
vocabulary in context, 615
writing assignments, 617–619
Apostrophes
achievement test, 690
in contractions, 460–461
diagnostic test, 684
ownership or possession,
461–463
practice editing for, 529, 531,
532, 534–539
vs. possessive pronouns, 463
vs. simple plurals, 464–465
with plural words ending in –s,
465–466
Argument paragraph
defi ned, 182, 306
developing, 313–315
evaluating student paragraphs,
308–312
strategies for, 306–308
writing, 315–321
Article, defi nite or indefi nite,
672–675
Articles, published
capitalizing titles of, 449
fi nding on your topic,
175–177
setting off titles of, 471–473
Audience
appealing to, 307–308
defi ned, 8–9
determining for essay
writing, 337–338
evaluating nature of 9–10
practice writing for, 198, 213,
227–228, 248–249, 262, 277,
292, 304, 322
Barnes and Noble Books, 174
Bases for effective writing.
See Four bases of effective writing
Basic words, 501–507
Bertram, Don, “What Students
Need to Know About Today’s
Job Crisis,” 590–601
Bing, 177
Books
capitalizing titles of, 449
fi nding on your topic, 174–175
vocabulary development
and, 510
Brainstorming, as prewriting
technique, 23–24
Broad statement, as essay
introduction, 329, 342–344
Canedy, Dana, “From Father to
Son, Last Words to Live By,”
664–670
Capital letters
achievement test, 689
correcting run-ons with,
382–384
diagnostic test, 684
direct quotation, 447
fi rst word in sentence, 447
names and titles, 448–450
other uses, 450–453
practice editing for, 538, 539
unnecessary use of, 453
Carson, Ben, “Do It Better,”
602–612
Cause and/or effect paragraph
defi ned, 181, 215
developing, 217–219
evaluating student paragraphs,
215–217
writing, 220–227
CGP (Catalog of U.S. Government
Publications), 175
Change-of-direction signals, 96
Classifi cation. See Division- classifi cation paragraph
Clichés, 522–523
Closing of letter, capitalization
of, 452
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Index 697 C
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Clustering, as prewriting
technique, 24–25
Coherence. See also Organization argument paragraph, 318, 320
cause and/or effect paragraph,
222, 225
comparison and/or contrast
paragraph, 244, 247
defi nition paragraph, 258, 260
description paragraph, 287, 290
division-classifi cation
paragraph, 273, 275
exemplifi cation paragraph,
193, 195
narration paragraph, 300, 302
process paragraph, 208, 211
revising for, 146–148, 160–165,
344–346, 349
Collier, James Lincoln, “Anxiety:
Challenge by Another Name,”
612–619
Colon, 485, 538
Comma splices, 381
Commas
achievement test, 690
complete thoughts, 479–480
correcting run-ons with, 384–386
diagnostic test, 685
direct quotations, 480–481
everyday material, 481–482
introductory material, 477–478,
531
items in a series, 476–477
practice editing for, 532, 534–539
words interrupting fl ow of
thought, 478–479
Comments, in peer review, 35–36
Commercial products,
capitalization of, 448
Commonly confused words, 431,
500, 511–520, 685, 690
Communication, writing as, 7–12
Community dialect verbs, 402–409
Comparison and/or contrast
paragraph
defi ned, 181, 229
developing, 232–235, 238–241
evaluating student paragraphs,
230–232, 236–238
writing, 241–248
Comparison, adjectives for,
428–430
Complete thoughts
colon separating, 486
commas separating, 479–480
Complex sentences, 123–125
Compound sentences, 121–123
Compound subjects, 412
Comprehension questions, how to
answer, 547
Computers. See also Internet dictionaries on, 491–492
spelling and, 500
writing on, 169–173
Concise wording, 119–121,
135–136
Concluding paragraph, 332
Conclusion, 327
Conclusion signals, 96
Conjunctions, correcting run-ons
with, 384–386
Connecting words, 98–100
Consistent point of view, revising
sentences for, 113–116,
132–133
Content, revising, 30
Contractions, apostrophes in,
460–461
Contrast, as essay introduction,
329, 342–344
Coordination (compound
sentences), 121–123
Correction symbols, 542
Count nouns, 672–675
Credibility, establishing, 307
Cumulative Index to Nursing
and Allied Health Literature
(CINAHL), 175
Curran, Dolores, “What Good
Families Are Doing Right,”
569–582
Dangling modifi er, 433–435, 538,
539, 684, 689
DarkCopy, 172
Dash, 486
Dates, commas in, 481
Days of the week, capitalization
of, 448
Defi nite article, 672–675
Defi nition paragraph
defi ned, 181, 251
developing, 254–256
evaluating student paragraphs,
252–254
writing, 257–262
Demonstrative pronouns, 426
Dependent-word fragments,
367–371
Dependent words, 123, 367, 389
Description paragraph
defi ned, 182, 279
developing, 282–284
evaluating student paragraphs,
280–282
writing, 285–291
Details. See also Support adequate, 64–66, 82–84
organizing and connecting,
90–101
specifi c, 61–64, 76–81
Diagramming, as prewriting
technique, 24–25
Dialect verbs, 402–409
Dickens, Charles, A Tale of Two Cities (excerpt), 637–643
Dictionaries
owning your own, 490–491
understanding entries in,
492–498
on your computer, 491–492
“Different Is Just Different”
(Staples)
content, 582–585
discussion questions, 587–588
preview, 582
reading comprehension
questions, 586–587
vocabulary in context, 586
writing assignments, 588–590
Digital resources. See also Computer, Internet
for research, 173–181
in writing process, 169–173
Direct quotation
capital letters with, 447
commas with, 480–481
quotation marks with, 468–470
Discovery, writing as process
of, 14–15
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698 Index
Division-classifi cation paragraph
defi ned, 181, 264
developing, 268–271
evaluating student paragraphs,
264–268
writing, 271–278
“Do It Better” (Carson and
Murphey)
content, 602–608
discussion questions, 610
preview, 602
reading comprehension
questions, 608–610
vocabulary in context, 608
writing assignments, 611–612
Dropbox, 169
“Duel at High Noon: A Replay of
Cormier’s Works” Headley
content, 644–647
discussion questions, 649–650
preview, 644
reading comprehension
questions, 648–649
vocabulary in context, 648
writing assignments, 650–651
-ed word, 125 Editing
computer and, 172–173
sentences, 128
tips, 128–129
in writing process, 32–34
Effective writing. See also Four bases of effective writing
defi ned, 2–3
point and support, 3–6
Electronic resources
in writing process, 169–173
for research, 173–181
Emphatic order, 91–92
English language
basic words, 501–507
verbs in, 402–409
Entertain, as writing purpose, 7
ERIC (Educational Resources
Information Center), 175
ESL Pointers
adjectives, 679–680
articles, 672–675
prepositions, 681
subjects and verbs, 675–679
Essay development
concluding paragraphs, 332
determining audience and
purpose, 337–338
evaluating student essays,
332–337
introductory paragraph,
328–330, 342–344
outlining, 338–339
practice assignments, 349–356
revising, 344–346, 528
structure of an essay, 325–327
supporting paragraphs, 331
supporting thesis, 341–342
thesis statement, 339–341, 528
transitional sentences, 331
Essay exams, preparing for,
346–348
Evidence. See Details; Specifi c evidence; Support
Exams, preparing for, 346–348
Exemplifi cation paragraph
defi ned, 181, 185
developing, 188–190
evaluating student paragraphs,
186–188
writing, 191–198
Explanation, colon in, 485
Exposition paragraph, 181
“’Extra Large,’ Please” (Urbina)
content, 562–565
discussion questions, 567–568
preview, 562
reading comprehension
questions, 566–567
vocabulary in context, 565
writing assignments, 568–569
Films, capitalizing titles of, 449
First draft
on computer, 171–172
in writing process, 27–29
First sentence, formatting, 443
FocusCopy, 171
Formatting a paper, 442–446
Four bases of effective writing. See also Coherence; Organization; Sentence Skills; Support; Unity
argument paragraph, 318, 320
cause and/or effect paragraph,
222, 225
comparison and/or contrast
paragraph, 244, 247
defi nition paragraph, 258, 260
description paragraph, 287, 290
division-classifi cation paragraph,
273, 275
in essay writing, 344–346, 349
exemplifi cation paragraph,
193, 195
introduced, 3
narration paragraph, 300, 302
practice using, 153–167
process paragraph, 208, 211
summary, 152
writing steps and, 19
Four steps in writing. See Writing steps
Fragments
achievement test, 687
added-detail fragments, 374–376
defi ned, 367
dependent-word fragments,
367–371
diagnostic test, 682
-ing and to fragments, 371–374 missing-subject fragments,
377–380
practice identifying, 529–539
Freewriting, as prewriting
technique, 20–22
“From Father to Son, Last Words
to Live By” (Canedy)
content, 664–667
discussion questions, 669
preview, 664
reading comprehension
questions, 667–669
vocabulary in context, 667
writing assignments, 670
Fused sentences, 381
Garland, Anita, “Let’s Really
Reform Our Schools,”
619–627
General Science Index, 176
Geographic locations,
capitalization of, 452
Gerunds, ESL pointers for,
676–678
Good, commonly confused
word, 431
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Index 699 C
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Google, 176–177
Google Docs, 168, 169, 172
Google Scholar, 176, 177
Grammar
adjectives and adverbs, 428–432
fragments, 367–380
misplaced and dangling
modifi ers, 433–440
pronoun agreement, 416–421
pronoun types, 422–427
regular and irregular verbs,
394–401
run-ons, 381–393
sentence sense, 364–366
subject-verb agreement,
410–415
subjects and verbs, 359–363
“Group Pressure” (Stark)
content, 659–660
discussion questions, 662–663
preview, 658
reading comprehension
questions, 661–662
vocabulary in context, 660–661
writing assignments, 663–664
Headley, Kathy Neal, “Duel at
High Noon: A Replay of
Cormier’s Works,” 644–651
Historical periods and events,
capitalization of, 452
Holidays, capitalization of, 448
Homonyms, 511–515, 538
“How They Get You to Do That”
(Scott)
content, 627–632
discussion questions, 634–635
preview, 627
reading comprehension
questions, 633–634
vocabulary in context, 633
writing assignments, 635–636
Hyphen, 487, 528
iCloud, 169
Illustration signals, 96
Images, using in a paper, 173
Incident, as essay introduction,
329, 342–344
Indefi nite article, 672–675
Indefi nite pronouns, 413, 417
Indirect quotations, 471
Inferences, reading comprehension
and, 547
Infi nitives, ELS pointers for,
676–678
Inform, as writing purpose, 7
-ing and to fragments, 371–374 -ing word, 125 Internet
evaluating sources, 178–181
fi nd articles on your topic,
175–177
fi nd books on your topic,
174–175
using when writing, 173
Internet Explorer, 177
Introductory material, comma
after, 477–478
Introductory paragraph, 327,
328–330, 342–344
Irregular nouns, in dictionary
entries, 496
Irregular verbs
achievement test, 688
common irregular verbs, 406–408
defi ned, 394
diagnostic test, 682–683
in dictionary entries, 495–496
list of, 395–397
practice identifying, 398–401,
530, 531, 534–535
Items in a series
comma between, 476–477
semicolon between, 486
JDarkRoom, 171
Joining word, correcting run-ons
with, 384–386
Journal keeping, 15–16
JSTOR (Journal Storage), 176
Keeping a journal, 15–16
Key details, reading
comprehension and, 547
Languages, capitalization of, 451
“Let’s Really Reform Our
Schools” (Garland)
content, 619–622
discussion questions, 624–625
preview, 619
reading comprehension
questions, 623–624
vocabulary in context, 622
writing assignments, 625–627
Letters
capitalizing opening and
closing, 452
commas in opening and
closing, 482
Library of Congress, 174
Library subscription services,
175–176
Linking verbs, 675
Links, using in a paper, 173
Lists
colon in, 485
making as prewriting
technique, 23–24
Logan, Paul, “Rowing the Bus,”
554–561
Logical support, 306–307
Long quotation, colon in, 485
-ly word, 125
Macintosh, 492
Main idea, reading comprehension
and, 547
Making a list, as prewriting
technique, 23–24
“Managing Confl icts in
Relationships” (Verderber)
content, 651–655
discussion questions, 657
preview, 651
reading comprehension
questions, 655–656
vocabulary in context, 655
writing assignments,
657–658
Mapping, as prewriting technique,
24–25
Meanings, in dictionary entries,
496–497
Mechanics
capital letters, 447–455
numbers and abbreviations,
456–458
paper format, 442–446
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700 Index
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 490, 491
Microsoft Word, 168, 169, 492
Misplaced modifi er, 435–438, 531,
684, 689
Missing-subject fragments,
377–380
Modifi ers
achievement test, 689
dangling, 435–438, 538, 539
diagnostic test, 684
misplaced, 433–435, 531
Months, capitalization of, 448
Movies, capitalizing titles of, 449
Mrosla, Helen, “All the Good
Things,” 548–554
Murphey, Cecil, “Do It Better,”
602–612
Names, capitalization of, 448–449,
451
Narration paragraph
defi ned, 182, 294
developing, 297–299
evaluating student paragraphs,
294–297
writing, 299–304
Nationalities, capitalization
of, 452
Nations, capitalization of, 452
New York Times Index, 176 Newspapers, capitalizing titles
of, 449
Noncount nouns, 672–675
Nouns, 496, 672–675
Numbers, 456–458, 482, 684, 690
Object pronouns, 422, 424–425
On-screen writing tips, 169
One side at a time comparison, 232
Online databases, 175–176
Online dictionaries, 491–492
Online sources, 178–181
Opening of letter, capitalization
of, 452
Organization. See also Coherence connecting words, 98–100
emphatic order, 91–92, 102–103
importance of, 90
reviewing for, 36
revising for, 146–148
time order, 90–91, 101–102
transition words, 92–98
Organizations, capitalizing names
of, 449
Outline
on computer, 170
in essay writing, 338–339
evaluating for unity, 153–154
in peer review, 35
review activities, 41–48
in writing process, 25–27, 41
Ownership, apostrophes to
indicate, 461–463
Papers
capitalizing titles of, 449
formatting, 442–446
Paragraph development
argument paragraph, 313–315
cause and/or effect paragraph,
217–219
comparison and/or contrast
paragraph, 232–235, 238–241
defi nition paragraph, 254–256
description paragraph, 282–284
division-classifi cation paragraph,
268–271
exemplifi cation paragraph,
188–190
narration paragraph, 297–299
patterns of, 181–182
process paragraph, 203–205
Paragraphs. See also Paragraph development; Writing steps
benefi ts of writing, 6
defi ned, 4
effective, 85–86
point and support in, 4–6
practice writing, 86–88
revising, 154–167
Parallelism
achievement test, 689
defi ned, 112–113
diagnostic test, 684
practice using, 131–132, 529,
532, 537, 539
Parentheses, 487–488
Parts of speech, in dictionary
entries, 495
Past-tense verb endings, 404–406
Peer review, 34–36
Period, correcting run-on with,
382–384
Persuade, as writing purpose, 7
Plan of development, in essay
writing, 327, 328
Plural forms of irregular
nouns, 496
Plural subject, 410
Plural words
apostrophes with, 464–466
irregular nouns, 496
Poems, capitalizing titles of, 449
Point and support
in effective writing, 3–4
in a paragraph, 4–6, 52–57
review activities, 58–60, 67–75
Point. See also Thesis statement; Topic sentence
making as fi rst writing step,
52–54
practice making, 67–76
practice supporting, 76–85
as umbrella idea, 56–57
Point by point comparison, 233
Possession, apostrophes to
indicate, 461–463
Possessive pronouns, 425–426, 463
Practice, journal keeping as, 15–16
Prepositional phrases, 125, 361
Prepositions, 681
Present-tense verb endings,
403–404
Pretentious words, 523–524
Prewriting
argument paragraph, 313–314
cause and/or effect paragraph,
217–219
clustering, 24–25
comparison and/or contrast
paragraph, 238–240
on computer, 169–170
defi nition paragraph, 254–256
description paragraph, 282–284
division-classifi cation paragraph,
268–270
exemplifi cation paragraph,
188–190
freewriting, 20–22
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making a list, 23–24
narration paragraph, 297–298
questioning, 22–23
process paragraph, 203–205
review activities, 38–40
summarizing, 25
Principal parts of irregular verbs,
495–496
Process, writing as, 13. See also Writing process
Process paragraph
defi ned, 181, 200
developing, 203–205
evaluating student paragraphs,
200–203
writing, 206–213
Progressive tense, 676
Pronoun agreement, 416–421
Pronoun reference, 418–419
Pronoun subjects, 675
Pronouns
achievement test, 688–689
agreement, 416–418
apostrophes with, 463
as connecting words, 99, 110
consistency using, 114–116
demonstrative, 426
diagnostic test, 683
indefi nite, 413, 417
as object, 422, 424–425
possessive, 425–426, 463
references, 418–419
as subject, 360, 422–424
Pronunciation, in dictionary
entries, 493–495
Proofreading
on computer, 172–173
symbols for, 129
in writing process, 129–130
Proper nouns, 674
PsychInfo, 176
Punctuation
apostrophes, 460–467
commas, 476–484
other punctuation marks,
485–488
quotation marks, 468–475
Purpose
defi ned, 7
determining, 7–8, 337–338
practice writing for specifi c, 198,
213, 227–228, 248–249, 262,
277, 292, 304, 322
three main, 7
Question (online research
service), 176
Questioning, as prewriting
technique, 22–23
Quotation marks
achievement test, 690
diagnostic test, 685
exact words, 468–470
indirect quotations, 471
other uses, 473–474
practice editing for, 531, 532,
536
titles of short works, 471–473
Quotation
colon and, 485
commas and, 468–470, 480–481
as essay introduction, 330,
342–344
indirect, 471
Races, capitalization of, 452
Random House Webster’s College Dictionary, 490, 492
Reading
how to read well, 545–546
vocabulary development, 508
Reading comprehension chart, 671
Readings for writers
education and self-improvement,
602–636
goals and values, 548–601
human groups and society,
637–671
introduction, 544–547
reading comprehension, 671
Regular verbs, 394, 402–403,
682–683, 688
Relevance, in essay introduction,
329, 342–344
Repeated words, 98, 109
Research
evaluating Internet sources,
178–181
fi nd articles on your topic,
175–177
fi nd books on your topic,
174–175
Internet and, 173
Review
peer review, 34–36
personal review, 36
Revising
argument paragraph, 315
cause and/or effect paragraph,
219
comparison and/or contrast
paragraph, 240–241
defi ned, 29
defi nition paragraph, 256
description paragraph, 284
division-classifi cation paragraph,
270–271
computer use and, 172
exemplifi cation paragraph, 190
for coherence, 146–148,
160–165
for sentence skills, 148–151
for support, 144–146,
157–160
for unity, 142–144, 153–157
narration paragraph, 298–299
process paragraph, 205
review activities, 48–50
writing process and, 29–32
“Rowing the Bus” (Logan)
content, 555–558
discussion questions, 560
preview, 554
reading comprehension
questions, 558–559
vocabulary in context, 558
writing assignments, 560–561
Run-on sentences
achievement test, 687
comma and joining word
correction, 384–386
correcting, 382
defi ned, 381
diagnostic test, 682
period and capital letter
correction, 382–384
practice identifying, 529–539
semicolon correction, 386–389
subordination correction,
389–390
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702 Index
Safari (Internet browser), 177
School courses, capitalization
of, 451
Schwa, 494
Scott, Janny, “How They Get You
to Do That,” 627–636
Scratch outline. See Outline Search engines, 176–177
Semicolon
break between thoughts, 486
correcting run-ons with,
386–389, 486
Sentence revising
adjectives or verbs in series,
126–127
beginning words, 125–126
concise wording, 119–121,
135–136
consistent point of view,
113–116, 132–133
coordination, 121–123, 136–138
introduction, 30, 111–112
parallelism, 112–113, 131–132
specifi c words, 116–119,
133–135
subordination, 123–125,
136–138
Sentence sense, 364–366
Sentence skills. See also Grammar; Mechanics; Punctuation;
Word Use
achievement test, 687–691
argument paragraph, 318, 320
cause and/or effect paragraph,
222, 225
comparison and/or contrast
paragraph, 244, 247
defi nition paragraph, 258, 260
description paragraph, 287, 290
diagnostic test, 682–686, 692
division-classifi cation paragraph,
273, 275
editing for, 128–129
list of, 128
exemplifi cation paragraph,
193, 195
narration paragraph, 300, 302
practice editing for, 527–541
process paragraph, 208, 211
reviewing for, 36
revising for, 148–151
revising essay for, 344–346, 349
Sentences
capitalization in, 447
complex, 123–125
compound, 121–123
fragments, 367–380, 529
run-ons, 381–393, 529
Series
comma between items in,
476–477
semicolon between items in, 486
Singular subject, 410
Skill, writing as, 12–14
Slang, 521–522
Songs, capitalizing titles of, 449
Sources, evaluating online,
178–181
Space signals, 96
Specifi c details
importance of, 61–64
recognizing, 76–81
revising for, 144–146
supporting thesis with,
341–342
Specifi c words
importance of using, 116–119
revising sentences for, 116–119
Spell-checker, 500
Spelling
achievement test, 690
diagnostic test, 685
in dictionary entries, 492–493
Spelling improvement
basic spelling rules, 500–501
basic word list, 501–507
commonly confused words, 500
computer spell-checker, 500
dictionary use, 499
personal spelling list, 499–500
Standard English
basic words, 501–507
verbs in, 402–409, 683, 688
Staples, Susan Fisher, “Different Is
Just Different,” 582–590
Stark, Rodney, “Group Pressure,”
658–664
Startling statement or statistic,
as essay introduction, 330,
342–344
Statement, startling, as essay
introduction, 330, 342–344
Statistics, as essay introduction,
330, 342–344
Story
capitalizing titles of, 449
as essay introduction, 329,
342–344
Subject
ESL pointers for, 675–679
pronoun as, 422–424
reading comprehension and, 547
in a sentence, 359–363
in topic sentence, 25
Subject pronouns, 422–424
Subject-verb agreement
achievement test, 688
compound subjects, 412
diagnostic test, 683
indefi nite pronouns, 413
practice revising for, 414–415,
529, 536, 537
verb before subject, 411–412
words between subject and verb,
410–411
Subordination
complex sentences, 123–125
correcting run-ons with, 389–390
Summary, 25, 327
Superlative, 429–430
Support
adequate details, 64–66, 82–84
argument paragraph, 318, 320
cause and/or effect paragraph,
222, 225
comparison and/or contrast
paragraph, 244, 247
defi nition paragraph, 258, 260
description paragraph, 287, 290
division-classifi cation paragraph,
273, 275
effective writing and, 3–4
evaluating Internet sources,
178–181
exemplifi cation paragraph,
193, 195
narration paragraph, 300, 302
organizing and connecting,
90–101
process paragraph, 208, 211
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Index 703 C
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p a n ie
s, I
n c . A
ll r
ig h ts
r e se
rv e d .
revising for, 144–146, 157–160
revising essay for, 344–346, 349
reviewing for, 36
second writing step, 54–55
specifi c details, 61–64, 76–81
Syllabication, in dictionary
entries, 493
Synonyms
as connecting words, 99, 109–110
in dictionaries, 492, 497–498
A Tale of Two Cities excerpt (Dickens)
content, 637–640
discussion questions, 642–643
preview, 637
reading comprehension
questions, 641–642
vocabulary in context, 640–641
writing assignments, 643
Television shows, capitalizing titles
of, 449
TextRoom, 171, 172
Thesis statement
in essays, 325
introductory paragraph and, 328
reading comprehension and, 547
two parts of, 339–341
ThinkLinkr, 170
Thoughts
complete, 479–480, 486
fl ow interruption and commas,
478–479
Time order, 90–91
Time words, 93–94
Title
capitalization of, 449, 451, 528
formatting, 443, 528
quotation marks to set off,
471–473
reading comprehension and, 547
to fragments, 371–374 To word group, 125 Tone, 10–11
Topic sentence
common errors in, 67–70
defi ned, 4, 25
in essay paragraphs, 327, 331
as point of paragraph, 52
practice writing, 73–76
selecting, 71–72
two parts of, 70–71
Transition words
addition words, 92–93
defi ned, 92
list of, 388
other transition words, 96–98
practice identifying, 104–110
time words, 93–96
Transitional sentences, 331
Typewriter (program), 171
Unity
argument paragraph, 318, 320
cause and/or effect paragraph,
222, 225
comparison and/or contrast
paragraph, 244, 247
defi nition paragraph, 258, 260
description paragraph, 287, 290
division-classifi cation paragraph,
273, 275
exemplifi cation paragraph,
193, 195
narration paragraph, 300, 302
process paragraph, 208, 211
revising for, 142–144, 153–157
revising essay for, 344–346, 349
reviewing for, 36
Urbina, Diane, “‘Extra Large,’
Please,” 562–569
Usage labels, in dictionary
entries, 497
Verbs
achievement test, 688
agreement with subjects,
410–415, 530, 536–539
characteristics in a sentence,
359–363
consistency with, 113–114
diagnostic test, 682–683
ESL pointers for, 675–679
irregular, 394–401, 530,
534–535
irregular in dictionary entries,
495–496
regular, 394
series of, 126–127
standard English verbs, 402–409
Verderber, Rudolph F., “Managing
Confl icts in Relationships,”
651–658
Vocabulary development,
508–510, 547
Vowel sounds, 493–494
Well, commonly confused
word, 431
“What Good Families Are Doing
Right” (Curran)
content, 569–578
discussion questions, 580–581
preview, 569
reading comprehension
questions, 579–580
vocabulary in context, 578
writing assignments,
581–582
“What Students Need to Know
About Today’s Job Crisis”
(Bertram)
content, 590–597
discussion questions, 600
preview, 590
reading comprehension
questions, 598–599
vocabulary in context,
597–598
writing assignments, 600–601
Wilson Humanities Index, 176
Word use
achievement test, 691
basic English words, 501–507
commonly confused words, 431,
511–520
diagnostic test, 685
effective word choice, 521–525
improving spelling, 499–507
specifi c words, 116–119,
133–135
using the dictionary, 490–498
vocabulary development,
508–510
Wordiness, avoiding, 119–121,
135–136
Wordsheets, 509–510
WorkFlowy, 170
Writer’s block, 170
Writing inventory, taking, 37–38
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704 Index
Writing process. See also Writing steps
computers for, 169–173
discovery and, 14–15
editing, 32–34, 172–173
fi rst draft, 27–29, 171–172
introduced, 13
peer review, 34–36
personal review, 36
prewriting, 19–25,
169–170
revising, 29–32, 172
topic sentence and outline,
25–26, 170
Writing steps
overview, 19
step 1: making a point, 52–54
step 2: support the point, 54–55
step 3: organize and connect
evidence, 90–101
step 4: write clear, error-free
sentences
Writing. See also Essay development; Paragraph development
as communication, 7–12
difference from talking, 3–4
digital and electronic resources,
168–173
effective, 2–6
as process of discovery, 14–15
as skill, 12–14
using the Internet, 173–181
WriteRoom, 171
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- Cover
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- About the Authors
- Brief Contents
- Contents
- Reading Listed by Rhetorical Mode
- Preface
- Resources To Support Your Teaching
- Acknowledgments
- PART 1 Fundamentals of Effective Writing
- 1. An Introduction to Writing
- Understanding Point and Support
- Benefits of Paragraph Writing
- Writing as a Way to Communicate with Others: Considering Audience and Purpose
- Writing as a Skill
- Writing as a Process of Discovery
- Keeping a Journal
- Using This Text
- 2. The Four Bases and the Writing Process
- Prewriting
- Writing a Topic Sentence and Preparing a Scratch Outline
- Writing a First Draft
- Revising
- Editing
- Using Peer Review
- Doing a Personal Review
- Review Activities
- 3. The First and Second Steps in Writing
- Step 1: Begin with a Point
- Step 2: Support the Point with Specific Evidence
- Reinforcing Point and Support
- The Importance of Specific Details
- The Importance of Adequate Details
- Practice in Making and Supporting a Point
- 4. The Third Step in Writing
- Step 3: Organize and Connect the Specific Evidence
- Practice in Organizing and Connecting Specific Evidence
- 5. The Fourth Step in Writing
- Step 4: Write Clear, Error-Free Sentences
- Revising Sentences
- Editing Sentences
- Practice in Revising Sentences
- Using Parallelism
- Using a Consistent Point of View
- Using Specific Words
- Using Concise Wording
- Varying Your Sentences
- 6. Four Bases for Revising Writing
- Base 1: Unity
- Base 2: Support
- Base 3: Coherence
- Base 4: Sentence Skills
- Practice in Using the Four Bases
- 7. Writing in the Digital Age
- Tips for Writing On-Screen
- Using Digital and Electronic Resources at Each Stage of the Writing Process
- Using the Internet
- A Look Ahead to Part 2
- PART 2 Paragraph Development
- 8. Exemplification
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Developing an Exemplification Paragraph
- Writing an Exemplification Paragraph
- 9. Process
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Developing a Process Paragraph
- Writing a Process Paragraph
- 10. Cause and/or Effect
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Developing a Cause and/or Effect Paragraph
- Writing a Cause and/or Effect Paragraph
- 11. Comparison and/or Contrast
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Two Common Methods of Development
- Evaluating Additional Paragraphs
- Developing a Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph
- Writing a Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph
- 12. Definition
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Developing a Definition Paragraph
- Writing a Definition Paragraph
- 13. Division-Classification
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Developing a Division-Classification Paragraph
- Writing a Division-Classification Paragraph
- 14. Description
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Developing a Descriptive Paragraph
- Writing a Descriptive Paragraph
- 15. Narration
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Developing a Narrative Paragraph
- Writing a Narrative Paragraph
- 16. Argument
- Strategies for Argument
- Evaluating Student Paragraphs
- Developing an Argument Paragraph
- Writing an Argument Paragraph
- PART 3 Essay Development
- 17. Writing the Essay
- What Is an Essay?
- Important Points about the Essay
- Evaluating Student Essays
- Planning the Essay
- Practice in Writing the Essay
- Preparing for Essay Exams
- Essay Assignments
- PART 4 Handbook of Sentence Skills
- SECTION I Grammar
- 18. Subjects and Verbs
- A Simple Way to Find a Subject
- A Simple Way to Find a Verb
- More about Subjects and Verbs
- 19. Sentence Sense
- How Does Sentence Sense Relate to You as a Writer?
- Turning on Your Sentence Sense
- Summary: Using Sentence Sense
- 20. Fragments
- What Are Fragments?
- Dependent-Word Fragments
- -ing and to Fragments
- Added-Detail Fragments
- Missing-Subject Fragments
- 21. Run-Ons
- What Are Run-Ons?
- Correcting Run-Ons
- 22. Regular and Irregular Verbs
- A Brief Review of Regular Verbs
- Irregular Verbs
- 23. Standard English Verbs
- Regular Verbs: Dialect and Standard Forms
- Three Common Irregular Verbs: Dialect and Standard Forms
- 24. Subject-Verb Agreement
- Words between Subject and Verb
- Verb before Subject
- Compound Subjects
- Indefinite Pronouns
- 25. Pronoun Agreement and Reference
- Pronoun Agreement
- Pronoun Reference
- 26. Pronoun Types
- Subject and Object Pronouns
- Possessive Pronouns
- Demonstrative Pronouns
- 27. Adjectives and Adverbs
- Adjectives
- Adverbs
- 28. Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers
- What Misplaced Modifiers Are and How to Correct Them
- What Dangling Modifiers Are and How to Correct Them
- SECTION II Mechanics
- 29. Paper Format
- Guidelines for Formatting a Paper
- 30. Capital Letters
- Main Uses of Capital Letters
- Other Uses of Capital Letters
- Unnecessary Use of Capitals
- 31. Numbers and Abbreviations
- Numbers
- Abbreviations
- SECTION III Punctuation
- 32. Apostrophes
- Apostrophe in Contractions
- Apostrophe to Show Ownership or Possession
- 33. Quotation Marks
- Quotation Marks to Set Off Exact Words of a Speaker or Writer
- Quotation Marks to Set Off Titles of Short Works
- Other Uses of Quotation Marks
- 34. Commas
- Six Main Uses of the Comma
- 35. Other Punctuation Marks
- Colon (:)
- Semicolon (;)
- Dash (—)
- Hyphen (-)
- Parentheses ( )
- SECTION IV Word Use
- 36. Using the Dictionary
- Owning Your Own Dictionaries
- Dictionaries on Your Computer
- Understanding a Dictionary Entry
- 37. Improving Spelling
- Step 1: Use the Dictionary
- Step 2: Keep a Personal Spelling List
- Step 3: Master Commonly Confused Words
- Step 4: Use a Computer's Spell-Checker
- Step 5: Understand Basic Spelling Rules
- Step 6: Study a Basic Word List
- 38. Vocabulary Development
- Regular Reading
- Vocabulary Wordsheets
- Vocabulary Study Books
- 39. Commonly Confused Words
- Homonyms
- Other Words Frequently Confused
- 40. Effective Word Choice
- Slang
- Clichés
- Pretentious Words
- SECTION V Practice
- 41. Editing Tests
- Twelve Editing Tests
- PART 5 Readings for Writers
- INTRODUCTION TO THE READINGS
- The Format of Each Selection
- How to Read Well: Four General Steps
- How to Answer the Vocabulary in Context Questions
- How to Answer the Comprehension Questions: Specific Hints
- GOALS AND VALUES
- All the Good Things
- Rowing the Bus
- "Extra Large," Please
- What Good Families Are Doing Right
- Different Is Just Different
- What Students Need to Know about Today's Job
- EDUCATION AND SELF-IMPROVEMENT
- Do It Better!
- Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name
- Let's Really Reform Our Schools
- How They Get You to Do
- HUMAN GROUPS AND SOCIETY
- from A Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens
- Duel at High Noon: A Replay of Cormier's Works
- Managing Conflicts in Relationships
- Group Pressure
- From Father to Son, Last Words to Live
- Reading Comprehension Chart
- APPENDIXES
- A. ESL Pointers
- Articles
- Subjects and Verbs
- Adjectives
- Prepositions Used for Time and Place
- B. Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test
- C. Sentence-Skills Achievement Test
- D. Answers to Sentence-Skills Diagnostic Test
- Credits
- Index
- A
- B
- C
- D
- E
- F
- G
- H
- I
- J
- K
- L
- M
- N
- O
- P
- Q
- R
- S
- T
- U
- V
- W
