English Task

Bassam Alruwaili

2870 Industrial Dr Comment by Thompson, Rick: Capitalize. And punctuate abbreviations.

Bowling Green Ky 42101 Comment by Thompson, Rick: Capitalize. And always include state and zip code with city.

September 20, 2017

Ms. Rosa Joans, COO

Shining Bright Talent Agency

45 C Cornice Road

Hollywood

Dear Miss. Rosa,

I am writing to you concerning your new film The Wildfire. The particular reason for writing you this letter is to introduce you to someone who can play the role of the protagonist in your film. The particular guy that I am talking about is Neddy Merril. He lives a few blocks down the road from my house. I think he is perfect for the role. Comment by Thompson, Rick: What is your narrowed interpretation of Neddy (i.e. “thesis statement”), and why haven’t you included it early on in your letter? Comment by Thompson, Rick: . . . lives a few . . . Comment by Thompson, Rick: . . . for the role . . .

Neddy is a very successful man. He has rich friends and lives in a posh area of the suburbs. He is married and has one wife and 4 daughters. He is happy with his life and loves life so far. He is liked by everybody around him and his friends are attached to him a lot. So he thinks himself as a hero or a legend of some kind. Comment by Thompson, Rick: . . . of the suburbs . . . (Trouble with articles is a repetitive problem in your writing.)

Neddy is so happy with his wife and life that he thinks he has everything and has good friends. For this reason he think very high of himself. One day Neddy and his wife Lucinda were chilling with some friends around their swimming pool. Because they were all well settled. Neddy think that he would go back home by swimming. SO on Deciding that he start swimming in every swimming pool in the neighbor’s house and made his way all the way back to his house. He did this by jumping from back yard to back yard and then swimming across the swimming pools in every backyard. While doing so, he imagined himself to be swim through a river which goes back to his house. SO he started his adventure. He swim firstly in the pool of Graham’s who are very hospitable to him and Mrs. Graham even offered him a drink. Then he swim in the Bunker’s Pool. Who have a party at the terrace? As soon as they see him they act all glad to see him, even though he wasn’t invited to their party. Comment by Thompson, Rick: You have merely summarized the story while making broad, general interpretations about Neddy without using evidence to back up your claims. Also, what are your controlling ideas/topic sentences in these paragraphs? In other words, what central idea is unified in each paragraph?

Hence in this way he went through many pools. But what is noticeable is the thing that at first he thinks all his friends’ are happy and glad to see him. They welcome him and offer him drinks. He thinks to himself in the start that he belongs to a superior class and his friends are all rich and famous people who love them. However, towards the last half of his swimming journey, the thinking changes.

Neddy’s friends start to treat him bad and with anger as well. His friends are now annoyed of his swimming in their pools without the permission. It is also known that he had a Mistress. He is now facing financial issues in his personal life. And these financial issues have made a lot of difference in his life. His family is worried and unhappy and his mistress too. His mistress is annoyed with hi, because he is not as rich as he was before. His friends now treat him bad because his financial condition has become bad and he is lower than them now financially.

His family however also does not have a good condition as it appears to other. His daughters always get into trouble and he himself is drinking too much alcohol. HE becomes very tired and feels very old towards the end of his swim journey. In his last pool he feels aged. When he gets home after the last pool his house is empty and then sees that his family has left him and the house.

From this experience it can be noted that Neddy is a pretentious man who likes to pretend that everything is ok. He pretends to be rich and also happy with his family. The world thinks that he has good friends and that he is happy and has all the money he needs. However the reality is opposite from theat.

He is old and is not as healthy as he thinks, he is poor but liked to tell himself that he is rich and he has rich friends, he think his friends love him but they are tired and angry of him, he thinks that his mistress is happy with him however she is annoyed. Thins shows that Neddy is not ready to accept the reality and he kept on pretending.

This pretending has got him to the point where he has no one close to him. Not his family, not his mistress and not even his friends. He is alone and broke but he is not ready to accept it. Hence I believe that he has many similarities with the character that you have mentioned as your film’s protagonist and I recommend Neddy highly for the said.

Regards,

Bassam ALruwaili