ENG 1100 MOD 5 FINAL DRAFT 1

Running head: DEAR DADS: SAVE YOUR SONS 2

DEAR DADS: SAVE YOUR SONS 2

Dear Dads: Save Your Sons Comment by kristin: If you are using APA version 7, there is no need for a running head. Your intro to your essay says you are using MLA,you’re your in-text citation and reference show APA style. https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_formatting_and_style_guide/general_format.html

Jerome Maynor

Indiana Tech

ENG 1100

9-30-20

Dear Dads: Save Your Sons

The tragedy of sons growing up in fatherless homes is laid bare in psychologist Christopher Bacorn’s Dear Dads: Save Your Son story. Bacorn gives an account of teenage boy abandoned by his father at a tender age of 4 years. The boy’s life degenerated into gang involvement, drinking, poor academic performance, and violence (Bacorn, 2014). An alarmed mother sought the intervention of a therapist due to the unavailability of male figures to provide him with proper guidance. Bacorn was the sought counsellor. After a brief period of examination, he drew a conclusion that the boy needed a man for discipline and nurturing him into becoming a responsible man. The solutions of the therapist like joining sport were unsuccessful. This paper illustrates the essence of father figures in sons’ lives and how well Bacorn has accomplished his mission. Comment by kristin: Shouldn’t “Sons” be plural here? Add an “s”. Comment by kristin: You need the article “a” here, since it’s not a specific teenage boy yet. Comment by kristin: The article here should be “the”: “the tender age of 4 years.” Comment by kristin: Great job with in-text citation here! Comment by kristin: Specify who “him” is here so as not to confuse the reader: “to provide her son with…”. Comment by kristin: Specify who “he” is here: the counsellor? Comment by kristin: This is nonessential information, so you can set it off with commas: The solutions of the therapist, like joining sports (plural), were unsuccessful. Comment by kristin: This would be clearer as “the essential role”. Comment by kristin: Specify here: how well Bacorn has accomplished his mission as the boy’s counsellor. Comment by kristin: Your thesis doesn’t fully match the body of your essay. In your essay, you talk about how fathers are essential to the growth and development of their sons, and then how this resonates with your life experiences – that sons need male role models in their lives. Consider a thesis something like this: “This paper illustrates how essential father figures are in sons’ lives, including in my own life.” You don’t show in the paper how Bacorn has accomplished his mission (you don’t give any direct quotes or examples from the paper), so you can’t really put that aspect into your thesis, unless you add examplese in to body paragraphs 1 and 2.

Bacorn’s main purpose is to illustrate that fathers are essential in the growth and development of their sons. Their absence can have damaging effects that are irreversible. We are living in a society where the father’s role has been relegated to an endless pursuit of family finances. They pay limited or no attention to their God given role of raising sons. Fatherless boys act irresponsibly due to indiscipline or inadequate direction on how they are supposed to act when faced with situations. Parents are the first learning centers for the children. Children are deprived of critical learning when parents are absent. There are many reasons for absentee fathers like marital disputes, divorce or death. The impact of such occurrences on the son’s live are monumental. The son grows up with the negative attitude of feeling neglected and worthless. The numerous insecurities push them into illegal activities like substance abuse and violence to shore up their confidence. Comment by kristin: This should be “lack of discipline”. Comment by kristin: Since you are talking about sons in general here, use the plural possessive: the sons’ lives.

Responsible fathers don’t severe links with their children even after divorce. The severing of ties catapults children into apportioning unnecessary blame to them for the divorce. Parents should reexamine the consequences of their actions. The children’s wellbeing should supersede personal considerations. Bacorn argues that absentee father roles should be covered by others (Bacorn, 2014). Individual consideration of the children’s needs is essential in harmonizing their insecurities. Boys should be trained from an earlier age that disagreements should be resolved through dialogue instead of fighting. The propensity to violence on slight provocation is a sign of emotional instability. The children are under undue internal pressure to prove their worth. Comment by kristin: This should be the verb “sever”. Comment by kristin: Just put “from an early age” here, as you are talking about an early age in general.

The story is incredibly successful because it resonates with my life experiences. Work deprived us quality time with our father. We had limited interactions with him during weekends. We are proud that our uncles stepped in to meet our necessities when our father was away. They escorted us to school and even took care of us when we were unwell. I am proud that we had many father figures in our lives. Comment by kristin: Add the preposition “of” here: deprived us of quality time… Comment by kristin: Would this be more clearly described as “physical and emotional needs”?

In conclusion, children need affection, guidance, and quality time from their biological parents. Fathers should realize that they fail in their basic roles when they set the wrong example for their children. Reckless fathers who abandon their families soar chaos and confusion among their sons. The world will be a better place if fathers took their roles seriously. Children should seek their validation and acceptance from their fathers. The epitome of failed parenting is when children seek these attributes from the world. It results in substance abuse and involvement in illegal activities. Comment by kristin: This is good because it repeats the main idea of your paper, but wouldn’t it be more accurate to add in “from their biological parents or from other father figures”, since you talk about your uncles filling your father’s role? Comment by kristin: The verb here should be “sow”. Comment by kristin: Because you have the future here (will be), use the present tense for “take”: if fathers take their roles seriously.

References

Bacorn, C. N. (2014). Dear dads: Save your sons. Newsweek, 120(23), 13-13 . Comment by kristin: Reference for page number can just be written as “13”.