ENG 1100 MOD 5 Final

Redd 1

Surname 3

Thurl Redd

ENG 1100

5/30/2020

A critique of, Dear Dads; save your Sons

There are three different types of families: the extended family, the nuclear family, and the single-parent family. The kind of family that brings about heated debates globally is the single-parent family. There are various reasons that lead to the formation of a single-parent family. Some being the death of a parent, divorce, one parent being jailed, and many more. These families have received various criticisms, both negative and positive. Some people argue that a single-parent family is inefficient because the children lack both parental figures leading to deviant behaviors, as in the article that I am going to discuss. In the article that I am about to discuss, “Dear Dads; Save your sons,” the author argues that truancy in male children can also be attributed to the lack of a fatherly figure in their lives. Through the article, the writer hopes to persuade the audience into agreeing with him that a father figure is needed in the life of a boy to instill god morals and behavior. Comment by Unknown Author: Thesis Statement I highly encourage you to develop a thesis statement for your essay. Your thesis statement should come at the end of your introduction paragraph, and it should summarize the main argument or idea of your essay and provide a framework for the body paragraphs. Since this is a rhetorical analysis, I recommend you name some of the specific rhetorical strategies that you discuss in your thesis. The thesis is important because it lets your reader know exactly what you will prove in the body paragraphs. See this awesome resource for detailed examples of how to write a thesis statement: https://www.tutor.com/cmspublicfiles/WWW/Thesis_Statement.pdf

My audience for this argument is my peers and teacher. The writer uses logical appeal as well as emotional and ethical appeal in the argument to persuade the reader. The emotional appeal can be seen in the last paragraph of his argument. As the paragraph begins, the writer starts to appeal to the emotions of the reader as well as the ethics. In the argument, the writer argues that the situation in America is pitiable because fathers are neglecting their duties, some due to unavoidable circumstances while others out of their accord. Thus appealing to the emotions of the reader, making the reader have pity on both the mother and son. The writer continues to employ ethical appeal by arguing that a fatherly figure is essential both to the mother and son because the father acts as a role model to the son through showing the son how to treat his future family while offering team support to the mother—therefore bringing balance to the life of the two. Comment by Unknown Author: This information does not need to be explicitly shared because it was asked to help you get started brainstorming your argument. I suggest you delete this sentence. Comment by Unknown Author: Avoid redundancy We only need to say something once. Deleting instances of sentences that convey the same thought can helps make our writing more precise. Check out this helpful resource for more tips: https://www.tutor.com/cmspublicfiles/WWW/Avoiding_Wordiness_and_Redundancy.pdf Comment by Unknown Author: Citations In MLA, it is necessary to provide an in-text citation when discussing the contents of any outside source. For instance, the end of this sentence should include an in-text citation. Check out this great resource for examples on how to do this: https://www.tutor.com/cmspublicfiles/WWW/MLA_Citation_Guide.pdf Comment by Unknown Author: Evidence I would encourage you to include at least one piece of concrete evidence per body paragraph. In other words, try to ‘show rather than tell’ the reader how the author uses an ethical appeal. Does the author tell a vivid story about a family? Do they use emotional or evocative diction? Include as many detailed observations about the writing as possible!

The writer uses logical facts in the arguments. However, the facts are weak because they lack substantial evidence to support the thesis of the argument. The evidence used by the writer seems to be a fallacy because the writer does not quote any research or any source of evidence about the source of the claims. Instead, the writer just mentions the facts and claims, then elaborates them without strong evidence. The writer claims that a father figure is essential in the life of a boy because the father serves as a role model to the boy by showing the boy how to act and also how to treat his future family. The writer also claims that the mother needs a father figure for support in raising the son. The author ignored the fact that some children lack a father figure because of death. In the reasons mentioned about the cause of the lack of father figure, the writer does not mention death. The writer seems to be more inclined towards emphasizing the need for a father figure instead of also mentioning sources of the father figure. For example, a father figure need not be a step-father; it can be an uncle. Comment by Unknown Author: Transitions Since you are introducing a new idea, this would be a great place for a transition word! Check out this awesome resource for examples: https://www.tutor.com/cmspublicfiles/WWW/Transitions.pdf Comment by Unknown Author: This is not clear. First you say the author does not cite research, then you say that he mentions facts. Be careful with your word choice! Reword this for clarity. Comment by Unknown Author: Avoid redundancy Comment by Unknown Author: What do you mean by sources? Rephrase this for clarity.

This writing serves the interest of mother and son. In this argument, the father loses while the mother and son gain. This is because it shows the father as an important character who, if he does not play his role correctly, leads to the collapse of mother and son. Therefore, for the mother and son to survive, the father figure is needed. The argument aims at bringing the father into the lives of the mother and son to help them survive. The style and language used somehow appeals to the audience. However, the article seems to have a flat tone. The tone of the article does not show the stand of the author, therefore, making it sound blank. Although the argument lacks firm evidence, it succeeds in making the audience believe in the need for a father figure in the life of both mother and son: “Fathers should be at things such as PTA meetings, games, recitals, paying attention, and help truly raise their young boys.” This part of the argument is sensible. Most of the time, it is mothers who are seen at such events to show support to their children. Fathers need to be at such events as well. The argument falls apart when the writer emphasizes the need for a father in the life of a son instead of the need of a male figure. “The male figure missing in a child’s life is a big thing; father figures are significant.” Comment by Unknown Author: Topic Sentence A topic sentence is the first sentence of any body paragraph. In this case, make sure your topic sentence mentions the rhetorical device you intend to explore in the body paragraph. It should directly connect the body paragraph to the main argument. This will help you develop a focused argument based in your thesis statement. See this resource for more details:https://www.tutor.com/cmspublicfiles/WWW/Topic_Sentences.pdf/ Comment by Unknown Author: Commentary What do you mean by a ‘flat tone’? Could you provide specific evidence from the text in order to demonstrate what this means? By using details in your evidence, you help strengthen your argument. Comment by Unknown Author: Remember to revise your paper and include all necessary in-text citations! Comment by Unknown Author: Organization This is an idea you bring up in the previous body paragraph. In order to better organize your argument, I suggest you bring these two parts together in one paragraph.

In conclusion, the writer was able to effectively deliver the message on the need for a male figure in the life of a mother and son. Comment by Unknown Author: Conclusion It is very unclear from your body paragraphs that this is true. You provide a lot of evidence that seems to prove the contrary point. I would revise your conclusion paragraph to reflect the ambiguities in the article and explain where the author was successful and where he was not. By simply saying the writer was ‘effective,’ you invalidate all of your criticism.

Works Cited Comment by Unknown Author: MLA Pay attention to the formatting of a works cited page. Check out this great resource for reference: https://www.tutor.com/cmspublicfiles/WWW/MLA_Works_Cited_Guide.pdf

Fawcett, Susan. Evergreen: A guide to writing with readings. Nelson Education, 2010. Pg 599-602