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EmotionalProcesses.pptxEmotional Processes
HDFS 215
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How do families negotiate emotions?
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Agenda
Emotional Processes
Differentiation
Fusion
Emotional Cut-off
Chronic Family Anxiety
Emotional Triangles
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Emotional Processes
Patterns of emotional distance/closeness in families.
Like generational process = focus on emotions
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Emotional Processes
Families develop patterns about:
Intimacy: expectations about emotional/physical closeness and expression of emotion.
Individuality: think for and be your own self.
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Differentiation
Family’s ability to balance intimacy and individuality.
Differentiation results in our ability to be emotionally separate and unique in our family.
Develops over time and needs to be age appropriate.
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Differentiation
Low
Low tolerance for individuality.
Expectations for being together.
Closed external boundaries.
Open internal boundaries.
Parents need to be in control.
High
Encourage individuality.
Enjoy time together, flexible about time with others.
Discuss decisions that are different.
Room for emotional privacy.
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Examples
Low Differentiation
Mom wants to control most of your decisions;
Doesn’t like your boyfriend and ignores him when he is around.
She expects you to do everything with the family and choose family over him.
She listens in on your conversations, checks your social media; wants to know all you plans.
High Differentiation
Mom may offer advice depending on the issue, but generally lets you make your own decisions.
You know you can ask her for advice and that you can disagree with her.
She thinks your current boyfriend is okay, but liked your previous one more.
You argue about this and then take a day to cool off.
Mom says she’s worried about your boyfriend’s drinking, but agrees to include him in family events because he is important to you.
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Emotional Processes
When emotional processes are managed effectively, healthier family systems emerge.
Low family differentiation results in:
Fusion
Emotional Cut-off
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Fusion
Extreme emotional connection with parents.
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Emotional Cut-Off
A way to escape parents/family tension.
We eliminate, deny, avoid emotional involvement with family members.
Cut self off from family OR family cuts someone off.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=2RHkpi0QYTs
Look for:
Generational Transmissions
Alliances
Differentiation
Fusion
Emotional cut-off
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Emotional Processes
Although all families experience conflict…
When fusion exists, our ability to use our intellectual system decreases.
Results in Chronic Family Anxiety
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Chronic Family Anxiety
Low differentiated family experience conflict/anxiety as chronic because the issues causing fusion never get resolved.
May include long term resentments (unfinished business), feelings of betrayal, abandonment, deception, being ignored.
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Chronic Family Anxiety
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qamxu3pdJf8&feature=player_detailpage
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Chronic Family Anxiety
The higher the level of chronic anxiety in a family, the greater the strain on people’s adaptive capabilities.
The longer an issue remains unresolved, distress increases.
Interferes with our ability to have positive emotional processes in family.
Leads to:
Emotional triangles
Chronic problems with health
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Emotional Triangles
When two people have an on-going issue, they focus on something or someone else.
Triangulations allows us to stabilize, displace our anxiety, or control the issues.
Can triangle in people, objects, work, hobbies.
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Emotional Triangles
What do they tell us about the family?
More about the person doing the triangulating than about the conflict/issues.
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Emotional Triangles
Rules of emotion triangles?
Burr 146 – 147
What strategies might we use to create differentiation among family members?
Burr 148
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