business communication

Leading with Emotional Intelligence

with Britt Andreatta

Exercise Guide

Leading with Emotional Intelligence with Britt Andreatta Exercise Guide Contents

Exercise Guide Contents Chapter 1: Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Video 1: What is emotional intelligence? ..................................................................................................... page 2

Video 3: Emotional intelligence at work ...................................................................................................... page 5

Chapter 2: Developing Self-Awareness Video 1: Getting to know yourself ............................................................................................................... page 9

Video 2: Understanding feelings ............................................................................................................... page 13

Chapter 4: Building Awareness of Others Video 2: Developing empathy ................................................................................................................... page 15

Chapter 5: Building Relationships

Video 3: Facilitating team performance..................................................................................................... page 16

Recommended Resources and References ............................................................................................... page 17

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Chapter 1: Understanding Emotional Intelligence Video 1: What is emotional intelligence?

Assessing your emotional intelligence Instructions: Read the definition of each competency and take notes on how you currently practice each one.

Personal Competence Relational Competence

Self-Awareness

1. Knowledge of self

2. Accurate self-assessment

3. Self-confidence

Awareness of Others

1. Empathy

2. Service orientation

3. Organizational acumen

4. Appreciating diversity

Self-Regulation

1. Emotional self-control

2. Integrity

3. Achievement drive

4. Adaptability

5. Initiative and innovation

6. Learning orientation

Building Relationships

1. Communication

2. Developing others

3. Facilitating team performance

4. Managing conflict

5. Building influence

6. Catalyzing change

7. Inspirational leadership

Competency Definition Notes on Current Practice

Knowledge of self Knowing all aspects of self, including emotions, values, and personality, and recognizing their impact; using “gut instincts” to guide actions

Accurate self-assessment Accurately perceiving strengths and weaknesses, and your role in interactions, in ways that line up with others’ views

Self-confidence Strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities

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Competency Definition Notes on Current Practice

Emotional self-control Managing one’s managing impulsive or distressing feelings so that they don’t impact others negatively

Integrity Maintaining standards of honesty; speaking and acting in alignment with values; taking responsibility for personal performance; being trustworthy

Achievement drive Striving to meet a standard of excellence; having the ability to set and achieve goals; persistence and sustainability

Adaptability Demonstrating flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles; resilience

Initiative and innovation Ability and willingness to identify solutions and act on opportunities; comfort with novel ideas and approaches

Learning orientation Commitment to continual learning and improvement

Empathy Accurately sensing and understanding others’ emotions; taking active interest in their needs and concerns

Service orientation Anticipating and meeting the needs of others (followers, employees, and customers); contributing to the common good

Organizational acumen Reading the forces that shape the organization, including power, influence, values, and external pressures

Appreciating diversity Valuing the contributions of a wide range of people; understanding the influences of various factors including race, gender, economic background, nationality, etc.

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Competency Definition Notes on Current Practice

Communication Hearing and listening to others; sending and receiving messages accurately

Developing others Sensing others’ developmental needs; enhancing others’ abilities through feedback and coaching

Facilitating team performance Creating group synergy by pursuing collective goals through collaboration and cooperation

Managing conflict Negotiating and resolving disagreements; facilitating others to move through conflict

Building influence Identifying and nurturing instrumental relationships; effectively persuading others

Catalyzing change Initiating, designing, and facilitating change and new directions

Inspiration leadership Guiding and motivating others through a compelling vision; aligning the goals and strategies of the organization

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Video 3: Emotional intelligence at work

Assessing self and organization Instructions: Rate the proficiency for each skill (low, medium, high) and the frequency (percent) at which it’s practiced. Assess yourself and also your organization.

Competency Self Notes Organization Notes

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Self-awareness

Accurate self-assessment

Self-confidence

Emotional self-control

Integrity

Achievement drive

Adaptability

Initiative and innovation

Learning orientation

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Competency Self Notes Organization Notes

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Empathy

Service orientation

Organizational acumen

Appreciating diversity

Communication

Developing others

Facilitating team performance

Managing conflict

Catalyzing change

Building influence

Inspirational leadership

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Assessing Others Instructions: Rate members of your team on their proficiency in each skill (low, medium, high) and the frequency (percent) at which it’s practiced.

Competency Name: Name: Name: Name:

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Self-awareness

Accurate self-assessment

Self-confidence

Emotional self-control

Integrity

Achievement drive

Adaptability

Initiative and innovation

Learning orientation

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Competency Name: Name: Name: Name:

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Proficiency L M H

Frequency %

Empathy

Service orientation

Organizational acumen

Appreciating diversity

Communication

Developing others

Facilitating team performance

Managing conflict

Catalyzing change

Building influence

Inspirational leadership

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Chapter 2: Developing Self-Awareness Video 1: Getting to know yourself

Identify your values Instructions: List your top 5 core values. (See the Leadership Fundamentals course if you need help defining these.)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Mini life story Write down a brief review of your life story. Consider how you have been shaped by your family life, education, cultural heritage, major successes and failures, traumatic events, and your hopes and aspirations.

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Identify your skills List and assess your skills in foundational areas like time management, communicating effectively, and setting and achieving goals. Use the scale of 1 = needs improvement, 2 = stays the same, and 3 = exceptional. Jot down any notes for how you can improve in this area.

Skill Assessment 1 2 3 Notes

List and assess the technical skills specific to your current job.

Skill Assessment 1 2 3 Notes

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Identify your communication style Assess your communication style on the continuum below.

Passive Assertive Aggressive

A pattern of not expressing my needs, wants, and opinions, and putting others before myself.

A pattern of clearly expressing my needs, wants, and opinions in ways that is considerate of others.

A pattern of forcefully expressing my needs, wants, and opinions in ways that violate the needs of others.

Use the form below to assess how you organize and convey information to others. These are some of the markers that differentiate cultural communication styles.

Linear Message moves step by step, in linear way, toward the main point. “Getting to the point” is very important, and the point of the message is clearly stated.

Circular Message moves around the main point. Verbal and nonverbal information is assumed to convey meaning. Stating the point is seen as insulting the other person.

Direct Meaning is stated in a very direct manner and expressed precisely. Directness is equated with honesty and respect for the other person.

Indirect Meaning is conveyed by subtle means such as nonverbal cues, stories, and implication. Indirectness is considered respectful of the other person.

Low Context The context of the communication is not assumed to be known. Meaning is explained clearly and unambiguously. Meaning must be expressed precisely.

High Context The context for communication is assumed to be known. Hence it is unnecessary, even insulting, to explain things and state meaning precisely. Meaning is taken from context.

Identify your personality or temperament Consult your Learning and Development department or complete the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment at www.mbticomplete.com or the Keirsey Temperament Sorter (KTS) at http://www.keirsey.com.

Identify your 4 letter code:

E----------I

N----------S

T----------F

J----------P

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Identify your workstyle Consult your Learning and Development department or complete the DiSC Work Profile at http://www.everythingdisc.com/.

Dominance

Influence

Steadiness

Conscientiousness

Identify your conflict style Consult your Learning and Development department or complete the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Style at https://www.cpp.com/products/tki/index.aspx.

Avoiding

Accommodating

Compromising

Competing

Collaborating

Identify your leadership style Take the Situational Leadership II at www.kenblanchard.com.

Directing

Coaching

Supporting

Delegating

Take the Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI) at www.TheLeadershipChallenge.com.

Challenge the Process

Inspire a Shared Vision

Model the Way

Enable Others to Act

Celebrate the Heart

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Video 2: Understanding feelings

Download the “Feelings Inventory” page from http://www.cnvc.org/sites/cnvc.org/files/feelings_inventory.pdf. Use it to identify your feelings. Using this chart, mark down brief notes about what you are feeling and why.

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

Morning

Midday

Afternoon

Evening

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Looking over the week, what do you notice?

Are there any patterns that you see?

Are you experiencing the full spectrum of emotions (i.e. across the range of categories on the handout)? Why or why not?

How can you build more opportunities for feeling your feelings, such as setting a time each day to sit quietly or to go for a walk?

Which feelings are you most comfortable allowing yourself to truly feel?

Which feelings are the most uncomfortable? What do you typically do to distract yourself from those feelings (e.g. eat, watch TV, clean, work, etc.)?

What support can you seek for working with your more challenging feelings (such as a therapist or coach)?

Explore the appropriateness of how you express different feelings. Are there any changes you would like to make? How can you develop new patterns for expressing your feelings?

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Chapter 4: Building Awareness of Others Video 2: Developing empathy

Reading emotions The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley has a great online quiz to help you read the emotions of others. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz/

It will show you how to read the key zones of the face (eyes, nose, mouth, head tilt) to correctly read and identify emotions in others.

Vocal cues Consider how the following vocal cues affect the meaning of a person’s communication:

• Intensity = volume or loudness

• Pitch = how high or low the sound is (similar to musical scale)

• Intonation = how our voice rises and falls with certain words or meanings

• Pace = rate of talking or the speed

• Enunciation = how clearly syllables are spoken or articulated

• Silence = non-vocal aspects like pauses, sighs, and gasps

Developing empathy Ask yourself these questions

• How can I listen more attentively to people’s words and assess their non-verbal cues?

• How can I become more attuned to the moods of others? How can I better understand what motivates other people?

• When someone has a different background or experience, how can I learn more about their views, needs and concerns?

• In what ways can I become more sensitive to others’ needs?

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Chapter 5: Building Relationships Video 3: Facilitating team performance

Instructions: Using Tuckman’s Model, reflect on either the development of a past group or identify which stage your group or team is currently in.

Stage 1: Forming Stage 2: Storming Stage 3: Norming Stage 4: Performing Stage 5: Adjourning

Objective: Learn and get acquainted.

Objective: Sort out differences.

Objective: Become cohesive.

Objective: Grow and improve.

Objective: Make meaning of experience.

Task: Learn about the task and rules.

Task: Organize goals and ideas.

Task: Contribute to groups’ goals.

Task: Focus on high achievement.

Task: Task wraps up and ends.

Relationships: Getting acquainted.

Relationships: Testing limits and conflict.

Relationships: Building deeper connections.

Relationships: Working collaboratively.

Relationships: Celebrating successes.

Notes: Notes: Notes: Notes: Notes:

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Recommended Resources and References for Leading with Emotional Intelligence Books:

• Leading with Emotional Intelligence by Redlan Nadler • Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman • Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman • The Emotionally Intelligent Manager by Caruso and Salovey • Resonant Leadership by Boyatzis and McKee • Quiet Leadership by David Rock • Daring Greatly by Brené Brown • Intuition at Work by Gary Klein • Super Brain by Rudolph E. Tanzi and Deepak Chopra • Good to Great by Jim Collins • The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg • Leading at a Higher Level by Ken Blanchard • The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes and Posner • StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath (includes online assessment) • Drive and A Whole New Mind by Dan Pink • Privilege, Power and Difference by Allan Johnson

Assessments:

• Myers Brigg Type Indicator (MBTI) at www.mbticomplete.com • Keirsey Temperament Sorter (KTS) at http://www.keirsey.com • DiSC Work Profile at http://www.everythingdisc.com/ • Thomas-Kilmann Type Indicator (TKI) at https://www.cpp.com/products/tki/index.aspx • Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI) at www.theleadershipchallenge.com • Change Style Indicator (CSI) at https://www.discoverylearning.com/c-6-individual-assessments.aspx

Films:

• Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy

• Daniel Goleman http://danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/

Courses on lynda.com, inc.:

• Becoming a Thought Leader (Dave Crenshaw) • Conflict Resolution Fundamentals (Lisa Gates) • Coaching and Developing Employees (Lisa Gates) • Leadership Fundamentals (Britt Andreatta) • Delegating Tasks to Your Team (Britt Andreatta) • Range of courses on Facebook, Twitter, and Social Media

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