Chapter 12: Emotional Development in Middle Childhood
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EmotionalDevelopmentinMiddleChildhoodCH12Notes.docxEmotional Development in Middle Childhood CH. 12
12-1Sense of Self
In middle childhood, children come to have a more complex understanding of themselves and their place in the group. They also continue to grow in self-control. Attachment is the foundation of one’s sense of self, so let’s begin there.
12-1aAttachment in Middle Childhood
In Chapter 4 , you learned about the importance of attachment for infants and toddlers. Attachment behaviors change dramatically over childhood, but the function of attachment—feeling secure—continues to be important. Compared to toddlers, elementary students need less physical contact with attachment figures; nonphysical contact, like a phone call, can make them feel secure. By 5th or 6th grade, children who frequently seek physical contact with their attachment figure may be overly anxious (Crittenden, 1992). Children still want to be close, but their behavior is normally subtle and might simply involve drifting toward the attachment figure while engrossed in another activity. For example, while Dad cooks dinner, a toddler might be right under his feet banging pans while her older sister absent-mindedly moves into the kitchen and sits at the table to draw. Thus, attachment behaviors, such as clinging to the attachment figure, are not as frequent or intense, but the attachment relationship continues.
In Chapter 4 , you also learned that there are different types of attachment among toddlers—secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized. Those same types of attachment are readily identified in middle childhood, but they have different labels that reflect the attachment behaviors of older children. In middle childhood, secure children are referred to as balanced. They openly negotiate about their parent’s availability, like asking, “How long will you be gone?” After separation, they greet their parent with genuine pleasure, converse pleasantly, invite the parent to join in their play, and move closer (Behrens, Hesse, & Main, 2007). They clearly communicate positive as well as negative feelings toward the parent. Anger and distress are readily resolved or soothed.
In middle childhood, avoidant children are referred to as defended because they hide emotions, like anger, from their parent. This defends them from rejection by their parent. After an hour’s separation, they may stiffen when the parent returns and subtly try to exclude the parent from their activities (Behrens et al., 2007). They might avoid their parent by appearing engrossed with a toy or by using it as an excuse to move away. Avoidant children may be prematurely friendly with strangers, rather than wary.
In middle childhood, resistant children are referred to as coercive. They coerce their parents with tantrums, helplessness, pouting, whining, or coy babyishness (Stevenson-Hinde & Verschueren, 2002). They seek contact with their parent, but are not comforted by it. They may show subtle signs of hostility, such as sitting on their parent’s lap but wriggling to make their parent uncomfortable. After an hour’s separation, they might hug their mother but then swat her (Behrens et al., 2007). They appear immature, hyperactive, and unsettled in play as they move from object to object.
Classroom Implications of Attachment in Middle Childhood
In Chapter 4 , you also learned that children’s attachment to their parents predicts academic achievement and social competence at school ( Photo 12.1 ). That is, children who have a secure attachment to their parents have better test scores and grades; secure brains learn and remember more. Secure children also are better liked by peers and teachers. They develop internal working models that they are worthy of love and that others are trustworthy and caring.
Photo 12.1
Students with secure attachment to their parents tend to have higher achievement in school and are well liked.
moodboard/Getty Images
Children’s relationship to their teachers also predicts success in school. Positive teacher–student relationships are linked to higher GPA and test scores.
For example, in one study, low-SES students who had a positive teacher–student relationship in 1st grade were more engaged and effortful in 2nd grade and had higher test scores in 3rd grade (Hughes, Luo, Kwok, & Loyd, 2008).
Unfortunately, not all children have positive teacher–student relationships. Figure 12.1 shows that children can have better, or worse, relationships with different teachers as they progress through elementary school. Studies find that teacher–student closeness and warmth tends to decrease steadily from 1st grade to the end of elementary school (Hughes et al., 2012). If you teach older students, you may need to put extra effort into cultivating positive relationships.
Figure 12.1Teacher–Student Relationships in Elementary School
A large national study found that most (73%) elementary students had a strong relationship with their teacher. However, 16% started out strong but became worse across grades; 7% started out poor and improved; and 4% started out poor and got substantially worse. Overall, teacher–student relationships tend to be worse after children leave elementary school.
Source: Adapted from O’Connor, Dearing, and Collins (2011, p. 141). See Spilt et al. (2012) for similar results.
How do you cultivate positive teacher–student relationships? In Chapter 4 , you learned that you can promote a secure relationship with your students by being sensitive, positive, responsive, and using noncoercive discipline. In Chapter 8 , you learned how to use effective noncoercive discipline. You can also implement interventions specifically designed to repair poor teacher–student relationships when you feel challenged by a particular student. In one such intervention, called banking time, you “save up” positive experiences in relationship “capital” that can later be “drawn on” (Pianta, 1999). For example, 5 to 15 minutes each day the teacher gives the student undivided attention and follows the students’ lead in an activity the student chooses. (This can be done during gym, free time, lunch, recess, or small-group instruction.) The teacher conveys interest in the student.
In schools where many students are at risk for insecure attachment, schoolwide interventions can help. Successful interventions involve all teachers in the school being consistently positive in order to disconfirm students’ internal working models of adults as inconsistent, neglectful, or harsh (Hamre, Hatfield, Pianta, & Jamil, 2014; Ottmar, Rimm-Kaufman, Larsen, & Berry, 2015).
12-1bGroup Identity in Middle Childhood
Although attachment forms the emotional core of children’s sense of self, their membership in social groups also contributes to their sense of self. Let’s take a look at gender and ethnic identity in middle childhood.
Gender
In Chapter 8 , you learned that preschoolers are gender detectives who search out gender-specific activities and develop stereotypes about gender-appropriate behaviors. Children become more sexist in some ways in early elementary school as gender stereotypes are consolidated. Children begin to understand stereotypes about abilities, not just toys and activities, such as “math is for boys” (Cvencek, Meltzoff, & Greenwald, 2011).
The boy standing behind him spotted the book in his friend’s hands and began making gagging noises. Other boys soon joined in with, “Oooh, you’re going to read a girls’ book?” and taunting, “Ha ha, he’s a girl, he’s a girl.” The accused quickly slipped out of line, ran to a nearby shelf, and exchanged his book. (Dutro, 2002, p. 376)
Such gender boundaries are often more rigid for boys than for girls. If boys do “girl things,” they get more criticism than if girls do “boy things” (Martin & Ruble, 2010; Mulvey & Killen, 2015). Over time, girls tend to focus less on “girl” activities while boys continue to prefer “boy” activities. For example, a teacher set out a limited number of books to choose from (Dutro, 2002). No boys voluntarily chose babysitting books, though some girls chose basketball books—to the dismay of boys who then had to take the leftover babysitting books.
Toward the end of elementary school, despite a continued preference for their own sex and strong gender segregation, children become less rigid in their stereotypes. Their interest in stereotypically feminine and masculine activities also declines (Crouter, Whiteman, McHale, & Osgood, 2007; McHale, Kim, Dotterer, Crouter, & Booth, 2009). At the same time, they are developing understanding of what gender stereotypes might mean in the adult world. From ages 7 to 15, there is an increase in children’s belief that males get more power and respect than females (Martin & Ruble, 2010).
Ethnicity
Around age 6, children use racial features to sort or categorize people (Pauker et al., 2016). This allows them to begin to understand racism at a superficial level. For example, Mexican American children may believe that some people do not like Mexican Americans because they do not like Mexico. Around age 10, they have a more sophisticated understanding—for example, that some people may not like Mexican Americans because of racial stereotypes.
In middle childhood, about 80 to 90% of children recognize broadly held racial stereotypes (McKown & Strambler, 2009; McKown & Weinstein, 2003; Quintana & Vera, 1999). For example, 9- to 10-year-olds know that Asians are supposed to be more skilled at math (Cvencek, Nasir, O’Connor, Wischnia, & Meltzoff, 2015). However, they may not understand how to navigate such stereotypes. By age 10, some children carefully avoid talking about race (Aboud, 2008; Apfelbaum, Pauer, Ambady, Sommers, & Norton, 2008). As a teacher, you can help students understand and embrace their own and others’ ethnicity in your classroom.
Classroom Implications of Group Identity
You can help your students develop a strong, positive gender or ethnic identity by valuing their group. Follow these guidelines:
1. Avoid sex-stereotyped materials in the classroom.
2. Use a multicultural curriculum. Select books, software, posters, and samples of work that portray different groups.
3. Help each student feel valued in your classroom. Communicate that all students are valued, no matter what their background group (Spencer et al., 2016).
4. Teach about the history of race relations and discrimination. These lessons can be difficult because they can make stigmatized students feel angry and privileged students feel threatened (Bigler & Wright, 2014). However, one study found that White elementary students who learned about famous African Americans and the discrimination that they endured had more positive views of African Americans than students who learned about the famous people, but not the discrimination (Hughes, Bigler, & Levy, 2007).
As a teacher you can also help students develop self-control. Let’s briefly revisit the concept of self-control in middle childhood and the role discipline plays in promoting self-control.
12-1cSelf-Control
Children in elementary school have better self-control than preschoolers, and their self-control increases with time. In one study, children were told not to peek at an answer to a test question while the adult was out of the room. Most 1st-graders (78%), 43% of 3rd-graders, and 31% of 5th-graders peeked (Talwar, Gordon, & Lee, 2007). The situation was too taxing for most 1st-graders, but not for most 5th-graders. On average, older children are better at resisting distractions to stay on task and controlling impulses than younger children (Vazsonyi & Huang, 2010).
In Chapter 8 , you learned that there are individual differences in self-control and that these differences tend to be stable through adulthood. These individual differences in self-control predict academic achievement from preschool through college, and behavior in school. Two key factors that predict differences in self-control are attachment and previous experience with discipline. Specifically, power assertive discipline can undermine self-control, yet it is widely used in schools. Consider a 5th-grade classroom, where Peter has a history of aggression. Ms. Schwab used power assertion. Did she achieve the goal of effective discipline—to foster internalization and self-control? Recall from Chapter 8 that effective discipline
· (1)
results in compliance,
· (2)
is positive in tone, and
· (3)
uses the least amount of power possible.
Instead, this disciplinary encounter became a struggle for control between an angry teacher and an angry student. Ms. Schwab eventually achieved compliance, but her approach cost instructional time, damaged her relationship with Peter and Marcus, and damaged her relationship with the rest of the class who were watching. Neither Peter nor Marcus is likely to internalize appropriate values from this encounter. Ms. Schwab would have achieved compliance, with similar or less time and effort, still maintained her authority in the classroom, and fostered a positive atmosphere had she used more effective discipline. You learned the principles of effective discipline, and two types of positive discipline—persistent persuasion that builds on induction and skill development—in Chapter 8 .
Ms. Schwab tells the students to get out their books. Peter picks up Marcus’s book and tosses it on the floor, laughing. Marcus pushes Peter. Ms. Schwab shouts, “Boys, that is enough. Out in the hallway now!” (Neither boy moves.) “I said out in the hallway, and when I say now, you better move. Now!” (Neither boy moves.)
|
Peter: |
“I don’t have to!” |
|
Ms. Schwab: |
(Shouting louder) “Get out there now.” |
|
Peter: |
“No.” |
|
Ms. Schwab: |
(Still shouting) “Get out in the hallway now!” (Peter sits in his seat, ignoring the teacher. Marcus goes to the hallway.) Ms. Schwab stands over Peter’s seat, lowers her voice to a hard edge, and says, “I said get out in the hallway.” |
Peter finally goes to the hallway. Ms. Schwab follows. The boys begin to laugh. Ms. Schwab says they better do what she says. They look down and giggle. In frustration, she tells them to get back in the classroom and get out their books. They do.
It is possible to use a power assertive approach that is reward oriented, rather than punishment oriented, in an approach called “behavior modification.” You also learned how to do this in Chapter 8 . However, even this approach has potential costs, such as lack of internalization and undermining intrinsic motivation. Furthermore, distributing rewards fairly is remarkably difficult to do in real classrooms. Not all deserving students may get recognized. For example, in one elementary school students are rewarded for positive traits such as caring, respect, or responsibility. Their names are placed in a drawing for a prize. One well-behaved boy had his name placed in the drawing many times, but never won in 6 years. He told his mother he didn’t know why he even tried. At another school, an astute, well-behaved 5th-grader told us, “They only give the prizes to the bad kids so that they’ll behave better. I’ll never get one.”
Finally, you also learned about skillful classroom management, which reduces the need for discipline. Let’s listen to a veteran teacher in elementary school who learned to implement the classroom management practices, such as clear procedures, discussed in Chapter 8 :
We begin class with sustained silent reading (SSR). My students come into the room, put homework on my desk for me to check, and find a place to read. While they read, I check their homework and record attendance and lunch money. The children want to read their books, so they get right to work. I also end the school day with reading, but I read aloud to them. The children dawdle less so that they have more time for the read-aloud. I can tell how much the children like the book by how fast they quiet down. I wish I had started this years sooner.
The principles you learned about using effective discipline and classroom management to promote self-control in preschoolers (see Chapter 8 ) also apply to elementary classrooms. A key component of self-control is the ability to regulate emotions, which grows to adult-like capacity in middle-childhood. Helping children learn to be emotionally competent is vital to a productive classroom, so next we delve deeply into development of emotional competence.
12-2Emotions
As Hailey’s 5th-grade class begins a math worksheet, she cannot find her pencil. Her classmate Evan has a pencil on his desk, so Hailey snatches it. Evan grabs it back. Hailey is consumed with anger. She slugs Evan and shoves his friend Roshni out of his chair. As Roshni gets up, other children join the melee, shouting at Hailey, “He had it first!” Hailey turns red, screams at Evan, and then begins sobbing and hiccupping.
The teacher, Mrs. Ng (pronounced like ing), quickly walks to Hailey’s side. Although she is angry with Hailey, she says in a soothing but firm tone: “Okay. Let’s all calm down now. Roshni, are you all right?” Roshni nods yes as he glares at Hailey. Mrs. Ng then tells Hailey, “Why don’t you go wash your face in the bathroom and get a drink of water? That will help you feel better.” As Hailey leaves the room, Mrs. Ng tells the students, “Everything is all right. Take a deep breath and relax. Turn around and finish your work.” With the class focused on the assignment, Mrs. Ng goes to the door to catch Hailey returning. She quietly asks Hailey how she made Evan and Roshni feel and how she might have behaved differently. Hailey begins to relax and adopt Mrs. Ng’s calm demeanor as they talk. When Mrs. Ng sees that Hailey has her emotions under control, she pats Hailey on the back, smiles, and says, “I know you’ll behave better next time. Now get a pencil from my desk, and get to work.”
Hailey is frequently unable to control her anger and has little empathy for others’ feelings. She lacks emotional competence —the ability to regulate one’s own emotions and to understand others’ emotions. Mrs. Ng is helping Hailey develop emotional competence through the way she manages Hailey’s outbursts. Effective teachers, like Ms. Ng, promote children’s emotional competence as well as their academic skills. Emotional competence is a powerful factor in classroom success from preschool to high school because emotion is foundational to behavior and thought.
An emotion is a subjective reaction to an important event and involves physiological change, readiness to act, and appraisal of the event (Gross, 2015). Notice that there are four components to this definition. First, the event must be important. If you do not have strongly held values or goals in an event, then you are unlikely to feel emotion about it. Second, emotions involve physiological changes in heart rate, brain activity, hormone levels, and temperature—which are linked to outward signs of emotions, like flushed cheeks or sweaty hands. Third, emotion involves readiness for action. Fourth, emotions depend on how you appraise, or interpret, an event. For example, imagine Hailey is in your classroom. Another teacher tells you, “I had that troublemaker last year. She is just plain mean!” You might feel angry toward Hailey. But if the other teacher tells you, “I had her last year. Her father left the family, and the poor child is so distraught that she lashes out at others,” you might feel compassion instead of anger. Changes in your appraisal of an event lead to different emotions.
12-2aWhy Do Children Have Emotions?
Recall from Chapter 4 that emotions serve important functions. In Hailey’s example, her anger toward Evan focused her attention on him, motivated her to attack him, and physiologically prepared her for the exertion of slugging him. They helped her communicate to Evan that she did not want him to take back his pencil.
The social emotions, such as guilt and shame, help you adhere to the norms of your social group. For example, during a museum tour a teacher scolded an 8th-grader for talking with friends and interrupting the docent. The student’s shame kept her from talking out of turn for the rest of the field trip. In Chapter 8 , you learned that preschoolers have difficulty accurately judging guilt and shame, but this ability improves over middle childhood. Guilt results from morally wrong behavior over which you have control. Shame results from a social blunder over which you may or may not have control (Tangney, Stuewig, & Mashek, 2007). Most 2nd-graders can accurately judge the difference between Mary (who broke more plates by accident) and John (who broke fewer plates, but on purpose), but cannot accurately judge between shame and guilt. This ability emerges by 5th grade. That is, late-elementary children know they are likely to feel shame after clumsily falling in the hallway, but feel guilt after telling a lie.
Although social emotions are helpful, students who experience too much shame are not emotionally healthy; they are likely to become aggressive and feel worthless. Any emotion can be a problem if it is out of control, like Hailey’s explosive anger.
12-2bEmotions Influence Learning and Thought
Hailey’s anger hijacked her thoughts and affected her learning. Although most emotions are not as intense as Hailey’s, emotions are ever present and constantly influencing thought. Emotions influence thought in multiple ways:
· As discussed above, emotions focus attention (Huntsinger, 2013). Students pay more attention to things with emotional significance. For example, when learning about constitutional rights, students will pay rapt attention to a debate on the emotionally charged topic of school shootings and the right to bear arms. However, too much emotion can swamp attention and executive functions, as you’ll learn below.
· Emotions organize recall and memory. Students tend to remember details of emotionally strong experiences (Kensinger, 2007). For example, they might remember disgust over dissecting a frog more than other lessons in the same class.
· Emotions determine whether students approach or avoid a learning task, and how much effort they put into learning. For example, a student who enjoys the topic will expend more effort writing a research paper.
Emotions can have different effects on learning and thought, depending on what emotion is experienced. Let’s compare positive and negative emotions.
Positive emotions—like interest, happiness, or excitement—promote learning and creativity (Valiente, Swanson, & Eisenberg, 2012). Happy students are more productive, perform better on projects and tasks, and solve problems more creatively than students in a negative mood (Nadler, Rabi & Minda, 2010). Are positive emotions always beneficial? Intensely positive emotions can result in worse performance on tasks that require detailed analytic processing, like some math problems. However, when a task is important to the individual, exuberant emotions do not interfere with the task at hand (Liu & Wang, 2014). In other tasks, neutral or mildly positive emotions, like interest or amusement, may be ideal for focused attention and fast information processing (Rose, Futterweit, & Jankowski, 1999). Thus, whether your students perform better in a highly versus a mildly positive mood may depend on the task.
Why does positive emotion enhance productivity and creativity? Mild, positive emotions broaden thought (Fredrickson, 2001; Huntsinger, 2013). When you feel positive, you are motivated to learn, to be open to new information, to generate ideas, and to participate in activities. When you feel interest, you are motivated to focus attention on pursuing a goal (Gable & Harmon-Jones, 2008). Positive emotions may have these effects by altering neurotransmitters in the brain. Positive emotions are linked to small increases of dopamine in the part of the brain responsible for working memory and creativity (Ashby, Isen, & Turken, 1999). A different set of outcomes is linked to negative emotions.
Negative Emotions
Negative emotions—like anger, sadness, and anxiety—can impair learning. When students feel intense or chronic negative emotions, they have difficulty attending to classroom tasks, as Hailey did. Perhaps this is because emotion regulation and executive functions use the same brain systems (Brock, Rimm-Kaufman, Nathanson, & Grimm, 2009; Compton et al., 2008). Recall that executive functions (see Chapter 7 ) and effortful control (see Chapter 4 ) predict academic achievement. When students are intensely angry, sad, or anxious, their emotions swamp their executive functions and undermine their ability to pay attention and remember (Ramirez & Beilock, 2011; Schmeichel & Tang, 2015). For example, while Hailey was trying to contain her anger, she had less working memory space available to process the lesson. For another example, instead of attending to the task at hand, highly anxious students worry about irrelevant things or attend to potential threats, such as “My dad will go ballistic if I fail this assignment” or “What will happen if my mom doesn’t get well?” Anxiety can make students appear less intelligent because they are so consumed by anxious thoughts that they may not remember, learn, or make good decisions. Thus, teaching children to regulate their emotions may be as important to school success as helping them develop better executive functions (Ursache, Blair, & Raver, 2012; Valiente, Lemery-Chalfant, & Swanson, 2010).
We have discussed how emotion influences thought. In the next section, we see how thought influences emotion. For example, students can control emotions by how they think about an event. Some students are able to use emotions to guide thinking and to think intelligently about emotions. Psychologists call this ability emotional intelligence (Mayer, Roberts, & Barsade, 2008). This term may be overused in the media to refer to the same abilities that comprise emotional competence—to accurately perceive, understand, express, and regulate emotions. In this text, we use the term emotional competence to refer to this broader array of abilities. Let’s turn to control of emotions next.
12-2bEmotions Influence Learning and Thought
Hailey’s anger hijacked her thoughts and affected her learning. Although most emotions are not as intense as Hailey’s, emotions are ever present and constantly influencing thought. Emotions influence thought in multiple ways:
· As discussed above, emotions focus attention (Huntsinger, 2013). Students pay more attention to things with emotional significance. For example, when learning about constitutional rights, students will pay rapt attention to a debate on the emotionally charged topic of school shootings and the right to bear arms. However, too much emotion can swamp attention and executive functions, as you’ll learn below.
· Emotions organize recall and memory. Students tend to remember details of emotionally strong experiences (Kensinger, 2007). For example, they might remember disgust over dissecting a frog more than other lessons in the same class.
· Emotions determine whether students approach or avoid a learning task, and how much effort they put into learning. For example, a student who enjoys the topic will expend more effort writing a research paper.
Emotions can have different effects on learning and thought, depending on what emotion is experienced. Let’s compare positive and negative emotions.
Positive Emotions
Positive emotions—like interest, happiness, or excitement—promote learning and creativity (Valiente, Swanson, & Eisenberg, 2012). Happy students are more productive, perform better on projects and tasks, and solve problems more creatively than students in a negative mood (Nadler, Rabi & Minda, 2010). Are positive emotions always beneficial? Intensely positive emotions can result in worse performance on tasks that require detailed analytic processing, like some math problems. However, when a task is important to the individual, exuberant emotions do not interfere with the task at hand (Liu & Wang, 2014). In other tasks, neutral or mildly positive emotions, like interest or amusement, may be ideal for focused attention and fast information processing (Rose, Futterweit, & Jankowski, 1999). Thus, whether your students perform better in a highly versus a mildly positive mood may depend on the task.
Why does positive emotion enhance productivity and creativity? Mild, positive emotions broaden thought (Fredrickson, 2001; Huntsinger, 2013). When you feel positive, you are motivated to learn, to be open to new information, to generate ideas, and to participate in activities. When you feel interest, you are motivated to focus attention on pursuing a goal (Gable & Harmon-Jones, 2008). Positive emotions may have these effects by altering neurotransmitters in the brain. Positive emotions are linked to small increases of dopamine in the part of the brain responsible for working memory and creativity (Ashby, Isen, & Turken, 1999). A different set of outcomes is linked to negative emotions.
Negative Emotions
Negative emotions—like anger, sadness, and anxiety—can impair learning. When students feel intense or chronic negative emotions, they have difficulty attending to classroom tasks, as Hailey did. Perhaps this is because emotion regulation and executive functions use the same brain systems (Brock, Rimm-Kaufman, Nathanson, & Grimm, 2009; Compton et al., 2008). Recall that executive functions (see Chapter 7 ) and effortful control (see Chapter 4 ) predict academic achievement. When students are intensely angry, sad, or anxious, their emotions swamp their executive functions and undermine their ability to pay attention and remember (Ramirez & Beilock, 2011; Schmeichel & Tang, 2015). For example, while Hailey was trying to contain her anger, she had less working memory space available to process the lesson. For another example, instead of attending to the task at hand, highly anxious students worry about irrelevant things or attend to potential threats, such as “My dad will go ballistic if I fail this assignment” or “What will happen if my mom doesn’t get well?” Anxiety can make students appear less intelligent because they are so consumed by anxious thoughts that they may not remember, learn, or make good decisions. Thus, teaching children to regulate their emotions may be as important to school success as helping them develop better executive functions (Ursache, Blair, & Raver, 2012; Valiente, Lemery-Chalfant, & Swanson, 2010).
A cautionary note is that you do not need to be concerned about all negative emotions. The occasional, mild episode of negative emotions can be beneficial. For example, a little anxiety can motivate students to study for a test. For another example, a little sadness can help students process information in systematic, detailed ways that can be helpful in some tasks, such as drawing a picture or doing a karyotype in biology class. Research suggests that when people are in temporary sad moods, they are less gullible, make fewer stereotyped judgments, are more polite and generous, and have better memory (Forgas, 2013; Sussman, Heller, Miller, & Mohanty, 2013). Thus, negative emotions can be beneficial, but your students are likely to learn less if they experience intense or chronic negative emotions.
We have discussed how emotion influences thought. In the next section, we see how thought influences emotion. For example, students can control emotions by how they think about an event. Some students are able to use emotions to guide thinking and to think intelligently about emotions. Psychologists call this ability emotional intelligence (Mayer, Roberts, & Barsade, 2008). This term may be overused in the media to refer to the same abilities that comprise emotional competence—to accurately perceive, understand, express, and regulate emotions. In this text, we use the term emotional competence to refer to this broader array of abilities. Let’s turn to control of emotions next.
12-3Regulating One’s Own Emotions
Shonese, a 2nd-grader, calmly gets off the school bus and walks toward her house. When she sees her mother waiting at the door, she bursts into tears. Between sobs Shonese tells her mother that some mean kids on the bus ridiculed her name. Shonese’s mother lovingly rubs her back and says, “Calm down. The best way to handle kids like that is to ignore them. Pretend you didn’t hear a thing. They’ll quit eventually because it won’t be fun.” The next day, when the ridicule starts again, Shonese follows her mother’s advice and ignores them. Seeing that they are not getting a reaction, the kids leave Shonese alone.
Shonese is able to control her emotions until she is safely home, where she bursts into tears. Contrast Shonese’s behavior with Hailey’s. Although Shonese is only a 2nd-grader, she is better at regulating her emotions than Hailey, a 5th-grader.
Emotion regulation is the ability to control one’s emotions. Children with good emotion regulation can alter the intensity and duration of their emotions so that goals are met. Shonese dampens her distress to meet her goal of stopping the ridicule. Mrs. Ng dampens her anger to preserve a good relationship with Hailey. Emotion regulation does not always involve dampening emotions; it can also involve maintaining or increasing emotions (Gross, 2015). For example, Roshni may need to increase anger in order to stand up to Hailey’s aggression.
12-3aStrategies to Regulate Emotion
Scientists have identified several strategies that children use to cope with daily emotions in situations like getting a bad grade, having a toy snatched away, or being ridiculed. You will find these in Table 12.1 . Some strategies are consistently less constructive ways of coping than others, such as aggression or escaping through drugs. Reappraisal is often the best strategy when you can’t change the situation. A key benefit of reappraisal is that is doesn’t cost as much mental energy or self-control as some other strategies. Thus, if students need your help getting their emotions under control, coach them in the best choice among these strategies, as Mrs. Ng and Shonese’s mother both did. Your students will fare better if they are able to flexibly draw on different strategies (Bonanno & Burton, 2013; Gross, 2015).
Table 12.1
Coping Strategies Commonly Used by Children
|
Less constructive |
· 1. Do nothing. · 2. Aggress—to resolve the problem (e.g., grab a pencil away). · 3. Aggress—to release pent-up feelings (e.g., kick the chair). · 4. Use alcohol or drugs to escape the emotions, or eat “comfort” foods. · 5. Cry—to release pent-up feelings. · 6. Cry—to elicit help from others. · 7. Ruminate (rehash and dwell on negative thoughts). |
|
More constructive |
· 8. Avoid the situation or leave; just walk away. · 9. Talk to friends, teachers, or parents, or pray. · 10. Distract yourself or try not to think about the problem. · 11. Exercise (for low-arousal emotions like sadness). · 12. Relax (for high-arousal emotions like anger or anxiety). · 13. Seek help from friends, teachers, or parents. · 14. Take constructive action to improve the situation (e.g., study harder when anxious about a test). · 15. Reappraise—try to think about the situation in a positive way, or change your goal (e.g., “It’s better that I wasn’t elected to student council because I’ll have more free time now.”). |
Source: Compiled from Gross (2015); Seiffge-Krenke, Aunola, and Nurmi (2009); and Zimmer-Gembeck and Skinner (2008).
12-3bEmotional Dissemblance—Faking It
Shonese practiced emotional dissemblance when she did not respond to the children teasing her. Emotional dissemblance refers to expressing no emotion or expressing an emotion that is different (but more acceptable) from what you actually feel. Emotional dissemblance helps children fit into their culture because cultures have rules about expressing emotions. For example, it may be acceptable to show anger toward a classmate at recess, but not toward the teacher in class. To be a successful member of any culture, children must know the rules for emotional display, anticipate how others will react to their emotions, and control their emotional display. Although this is a sophisticated ability, you learned in Chapters 4 and 8 that even toddlers can hold back tears, and preschoolers can pretend to like a gift from a friend. Emotional dissemblance can be positive or negative. It is positive when it is used to protect others’ feelings. It is negative when children give false impressions for dishonest reasons, such as looking innocent so they will not get into trouble for misbehavior.
Dissemblance goes hand in hand with emotion regulation. Darwin argued that hiding emotions dampens them, and expressing emotions intensifies them (Darwin, 1965/1872). Research generally confirms Darwin’s view. When you express an emotion, your facial muscles provide feedback to the brain, which then alters your experience of the emotion (Kraft & Pressman, 2012). For example, if you are having a sad day, but you pretend to smile and show happiness, you will come to feel a little happier. So remember the adages “Fake it ’til you make it” or “Grin and bear it” apply to emotion regulation. This is contrary to a popular volcano myth that if you do not let your negative emotions out, they will explode.
12-3cDevelopment of Emotion Regulation
There is dramatic improvement in emotion regulation across childhood. By 1st grade, children can regulate their emotions in settings away from a caregiver, as Shonese did on the school bus, and they continue to improve across the elementary years (Blandon, Calkins, Keane, & O’Brien, 2008). However, until they reach adolescence, children are better at regulating their emotions when their mother is present, if they have a positive relationship (Gee et al., 2014). Across middle childhood, children become better at coping in four ways:
1. They use social support less, like talking less to others about their distress. Social support shifts somewhat from parents to peers, but even 12-year-olds are likely to turn to parents for help with emotions.
2. They have more coping strategies. Starting around age 5, they are able to use the reappraisal strategy (Davis, Levine, Lench, & Quas, 2010).
3. They are able to select the best strategy to use because they are better judges of how much control they have over a situation. Remember that emotion-focused strategies are better in situations in which a child has no control.
4. They come to rely more on emotion-focused strategies, but they continue to use problem-focused strategies as well.
At age 8, many children pass the “disappointing gift” tests successfully, behaving as though they were pleased to get an unattractive gift (Kromm et al., 2015). In these tests, kindergarteners’ emotions are largely transparent, but most 6th-graders can readily conceal their emotions. In fact, adult-like ability is typically reached by about 5th grade. Thus, infants have minimal coping ability, but by age 10 good coping ability is in place for most children.
12-3eGroup Diversity in Emotion Regulation
Research suggests that there are gender, socioeconomic status (SES), and ethnic differences in emotion regulation. In addition, immigration and culture influence emotion regulation. Let’s look at gender differences first.
Gender
As early as infancy, girls are more skilled at regulating emotions. In one study, 6-month-old boys showed anger, cried, or turned away more than girls when their mothers were unresponsive to them (Weinberg, Tronick, Cohn, & Olson, 1999). In the primary grades, girls are better at emotional dissemblance—appearing happy when they are not. Girls also smile more than boys, which helps regulate emotions and keeps interactions pleasant (Saarni, 1999). Paradoxically, despite better emotion regulation, girls are more likely than boys to be anxious and depressed in adolescence (Hammen, 2009). We discuss this more in Chapter 16 .
Socioeconomic Status
Low-SES students tend to be less able to regulate their emotions than middle-SES students, although the differences are small. Students living in poverty have more distress to cope with, often have new stressors emerge before they have had time to cope with existing ones, and have fewer supportive people to help them cope (Zimmer-Gembeck & Skinner, 2008). Among low-SES students, those whose parents provide the positive experiences discussed earlier—secure attachment, positive emotions in the home, discussions about emotions, coaching, appropriate responses to emotion, and effective discipline—develop good regulation despite their economic disadvantage (Raver, 2004).
Ethnicity
A national US study found that Black students are more likely to have anxiety disorders and Latino students are more likely to have depression as compared with White students (Merikangas et al., 2010). Immigrant youth, who must accommodate multiple cultures, might be expected to have more mental health issues, but on average they have similar or better mental health and school behavior than their nonimmigrant peers (Morris, Chiu, & Liu, 2015). Two factors are linked to whether immigrants become depressed: family and acculturation. Like other youth, immigrant youths’ primary source of stress is within the family. If they have dysfunctional families, they are at higher risk of depression (Flook & Fuligni, 2008). Immigrant youth have additional sources of stress: severed relationships from their heritage country, the struggle to speak English at school, and hearing derogatory ethnic jokes (Romero & Roberts, 2003).
Acculturation refers to adaptation to a new culture. Children can adapt in different ways; they can maintain their heritage culture while adopting the new culture (biculturalism), or they can reject one or both cultures. Immigrant youth are less likely to be depressed if they become bicultural. Bicultural youth tend to be more extraverted and open to new experiences (Ryder, Alden, & Paulhus, 2000). Children who maintain their heritage language and learn English fare well. Thus, helping your immigrant students maintain their heritage culture may foster their well-being if they are also open to their new culture.
A group that must also adapt to new cultures in ways you may not be aware of are military-connected children. Box 12.2 discusses the special needs of these children and what you can do to help them.
Box 12.2
Challenges in Development: Military-Connected Children
At a school concert in which the students sang “Ave Maria,” one young girl burst into tears. Her teacher guided her off the stage and comforted her. Through the tears, the teacher learned that the song had been sung at her father’s funeral and that this girl was a “Gold Star” child. This term refers to a child whose parent was killed in action.
As second lady of the United States, Jill Biden’s crusade was to get educators to do more for military-connected children (Biden, 2016). Children whose parents are active duty, veterans, or reservists have special challenges to cope with, including
· (1)
missing a deployed parent for months or years,
· (2)
fearing for the safety of the parent,
· (3)
taking on adult responsibilities while a parent is gone,
· (4)
reintegrating the family after deployment, and
· (5)
coping with a physically or psychologically traumatized parent who survives or with a parent’s death.
In addition, military-connected children change schools frequently, on average moving nine times before high school graduation (Astor et al., 2012). In one study, military youth reported feeling significant stress about moving to a new school, trying to maintain past friendships and make new ones, and feeling lost in class because they hadn’t covered the same content (Bradshaw, Sudhinaraset, Mmari, & Blum, 2010). Non-military families face some of these same challenges (e.g., police officers face injury; low income families move often), but generally not to the same extent.
How can you help military-connected children who are facing these challenges? Try the following approaches:
· Build on their strengths. For example, you are likely to find they are mature for their age as a result of taking on adult responsibilities during a parent’s deployment (Bradshaw et al., 2010). You might use their maturity by assigning these children special roles as classroom helpers. You might also draw on their experience having lived in other countries to enhance your lessons.
· Honor the many layers of sacrifice their families have made to defend others. Some schools have a “hero wall” with pictures of deployed parents. Recognize the values of honor, courage, loyalty, and integrity in military culture. Refrain from stating your opinion about the merit of a particular operation.
· Recognize that children and parents are crossing cultural boundaries between military and civilian communities (e.g., differences in language, in clarity of chain of command and social status, or emphases on individuality versus teamwork).
· Be prepared to support children who may have internalizing or externalizing disorders linked to parent stress. You will learn how to do this in this chapter.
· Be patient with the parent “left behind” who may become less involved in school when a deployed parent leaves. Communicate with the deployed parent by using technology (e.g., Skype, Facebook).
· Facilitate transitions for newly arriving students. For example, assign a “tour guide” and buddy to help the new students feel comfortable. Make transferring credits and curriculum as smooth as possible. Help the students join extracurricular activities, even if they moved in after the “tryouts.”
· Facilitate transitions for departing students. For example, send them with a portfolio and letter to their new teacher, explaining what the student knows or can do, so the student doesn’t lose momentum in the new class.
The Department of Defense operates schools in various parts of the world for a small percentage of military-connected students (most are in regular civilian schools). In DoD schools, despite very high turnover and a large percentage of minority students, there is comparatively high achievement and a smaller achievement gap, partly because these approaches are taken (Astor et al., 2012).
Your school can be a safe haven for military-connected children. As their teacher, you are an important factor in how they adjust to a new school (Esqueda, Astor, & De Pedro, 2012).
12-3fClassroom Implications of Emotion Regulation
Emotion regulation skills influence students’ success in your classroom. Students who are able to regulate their emotions tend to be happier, better liked, and better able to pay attention and learn. This may be why some interventions that reduce students’ emotional distress also raise their grades and test scores significantly (Durlak, Weissberg, Dymnicki, Taylor, & Schellinger, 2011).
You have learned that negativity in the home predicts poor emotion regulation in children. There is a spillover effect to school. Students who experience negativity at home tend to feel distress at school and have behavior problems, such as skipping class, failing a quiz, or not doing homework (Timmons & Margolin, 2015). (If you recognized this spillover effect as part of the mesosystem in the bioecological model, you have been paying attention!) The more students feel such daily stressors, at school or home, the lower their GPA becomes over the years (Flook & Fuligni, 2008). You cannot control the emotional climate of your students’ homes, but there are four ways you can help your students develop good emotion regulation in your classroom:
· (1)
Talk about emotions;
· (2)
be sensitive to student’s emotions;
· (3)
directly teach emotion regulation; and
· (4)
create a positive classroom.
Talk about Emotions
Recall from the section about what predicts emotion regulation that talking about emotions fosters emotion regulation. Therefore, seize opportunities to talk about emotions. Help students label, describe, and understand the emotions they experience. Mrs. Ng talked with Hailey about how Evan was surprised and angry with her, and that Hailey should feel guilt. This is especially important for some special education students and very young children who have trouble identifying emotions in themselves or others.
You can also create opportunities to talk about emotions through curriculum. For example, in one experiment 5th- and 6th-grade teachers asked “feeling questions” (e.g., “How would you feel if…?”) rather than just critical thinking questions as they taught literature. Their students, compared to a control group, learned the content better, were more motivated to learn, were more supportive of one another, felt the classroom was a friendlier place, and decreased fourfold in off-task or aggressive behavior (Shechtman & Yaman, 2012).
Be Sensitive to Students’ Emotions
You can tell whether your students have good emotion regulation or not as you become more sensitive to their emotions. Use these guidelines:
1. Notice whether each student is emotionally positive or negative most of the time. Well-regulated students should be predominantly positive and only occasionally negative. Chronic negativity or exaggerated moodiness is not normal, even among 2-year-olds and teenagers.
2. Notice whether each of your students has age-appropriate emotion regulation (review Chapters 4 , 8 , and 16 for other age groups). Hailey does not have age-appropriate abilities, but Shonese does.
4. Be aware of dissemblance, or emotions that students may be hiding.
Dissemblance can be positive if done out of kindness. However, it can also lead to misunderstanding. For example, when you discipline students, some who do not show regret or embarrassment may actually feel these emotions, and some who do show these emotions may actually be faking to appease you. Students may pretend they are not distressed by something that they actually find quite distressing. Dissemblance ability is well developed by 4th or 5th grade. Students are more likely to dissemble with an authority figure, like a teacher (Saarni, 1999). However, parents are not always aware of children’s emotions either. It is common for divorcing parents to think their children are coping well because they are not acting out and are relatively compliant. In reality, the children may feel depressed or blame themselves for the divorce, but may feel too vulnerable to show these feelings.
Scaffold and Teach Emotion Regulation
You can help your older students develop emotion regulation by directly teaching coping strategies and by responding appropriately to their emotions. Draw on the more constructive strategies in Table 12.1 . Reappraisal is one of the best strategies for many situations and can be taught to children as young as age 5 (Davison & Birch, 2002). Remember how Mrs. Ng taught Hailey effective ways of coping with anger—distract yourself with a walk to the bathroom and a drink of water. Mrs. Ng also taught Hailey that anger must be contained and not allowed to disrupt other activity in the classroom. Imagine if, instead, Mrs. Ng had scolded, “I’m giving you a demerit!” or sent her to the office. By taking this action, Mrs. Ng would have modeled escalation in angry encounters. She would not have taught Hailey effective ways of coping with anger.
Similarly, in an 8th-grade English class, a teacher helped Raj cope with anxiety about giving a book report in front of his classmates. She told Raj to take slow, deep breaths:
During his report, Raj pushed and pulled at his shirt sleeves, dragged his hand through his hair, rocked back and forth, and averted his gaze. At one point, he tried to control his anxiety by taking slow, deep breaths and closing his eyes until he regained his composure and could carry on.
In this case, Raj, who is older than Hailey, was generating his own coping strategies, like rocking and closing his eyes. However, he still needed a little help from his teacher. Her advice to take slow, deep breaths helped him. Help your students identify their coping strategies, and then encourage them to adopt more constructive strategies if needed.
Create a Positive Classroom Climate
A positive classroom atmosphere helps students feel safe communicating their real feelings. Positive emotions also help reenergize self-control when students’ self-control is spent (Baumeister, Vohs, & Tice, 2007). Furthermore, positive emotions promote creative problem solving and, for some tasks, analytic thought. Thus, if you induce positive emotions in your students you may help improve their learning ( Photo 12.4 ). Studies have found that 5th- and 6th-graders who felt emotionally supported in a positive classroom were more engaged in class and earned higher grades and test scores (Pianta, Belsky, Vandergrift, Houts, & Morrison, 2008; Reyes, Brackett, Rivers, White, & Salovey, 2012).
Photo 12.4
Students have higher achievement in positive classrooms.
iStock.com/gradyreese
To create a positive climate with any age group, use the following guidelines:
1. Express positive emotions. Students need to see adults express a wide range of emotions, but positive emotions more often than negative. Students may learn less from teachers who feel depressed (McLean & Connor, 2015). Wise teachers sometimes act happy even if they don’t feel happy, and often their dissemblance improves their mood. Listen to one 1st-grade teacher:
During recess Tim complains that Kurt won’t let him have a ball. I see that Kurt is carrying two balls. He is not playing with them, but keeping them from other children. My spirits sink. I know from past experience that Kurt will defy my authority. As I head for the showdown, I decide to force myself to feel happy. I smile at Kurt (as genuinely as I can) and ask him to give one of the balls to Tim. Kurt begins to resist, but I keep smiling. Surprisingly, I do not feel angry. Kurt hands Tim a ball. I smile more broadly and say, “That was a nice thing to do!” Amazingly, Kurt smiles back.
· 2.
Use effective, positive discipline. In Chapter 8 , you learned that ineffective discipline harms relationships and makes students angry.
· 3.
Establish secure teacher–student relationships. In Chapter 4 , you learned how to do this by sensitively supporting students. Classroom climate is affected by teacher–student relationships and how much a teacher enjoys students. A close teacher–student relationship protects children from negative parenting, whereas students who have a negative relationship with both parents and teachers (i.e., risk accumulates) are most likely to become depressed and delinquent (Wang, Brinkworth, & Eccles, 2013).
· 4.
The students were out of their seats, excitedly using the Van de Graaf machine and balloons to make their hair stand on end. When one boy began jumping up and down, begging to be next to perform the experiment, Mr. Pugh said he was already too “charged” up ( Photo 12.5 ). The boy and his classmates laughed. The classroom climate was fun and engrossing. The children were also learning—when asked why their hair was standing up, they could explain static electricity.
Photo 12.5
“Charging” learners with positive emotions may help them think better.
Eri Morita/Getty Images
Games that make students think fast can be fun and energizing. Thinking fast is linked to better moods (Pronin & Jacobs, 2008). This may be why fast, upbeat music sometimes has positive effects on test performance in the moment, although not all studies find this “Mozart effect” (e.g., Schellenberg, 2005).
We have discussed what you can do to promote emotion regulation in typical students. Next let’s focus on how you might help students with depression and anxiety.
Helping Depressed Students
Depressed students tend to have lower achievement than you would expect based on their intelligence. You can help your depressed students develop good emotion regulation and coping strategies just as you would any student, using the approaches discussed in the previous section. You will also minimize depression when you follow these suggestions:
1. Help students feel more capable. Teach skills and provide realistic goals. Striving for unrealistic goals makes students feel less capable.
2. Help students reappraise situations. Challenge their pessimistic thoughts and suggest more optimistic thoughts; help them see the silver lining. Attribute their failure and success to effort, not innate ability, like “You got that B because you worked hard” rather than “because you are smart.” Students who can explain, and control, their successes feel less depressed.
3. Help students find an activity to lift the depressed mood, such as an activity at which the student is good or which he or she enjoys. Also consider pleasant music, a funny book, or exercise. Students who are physically active are less likely to be depressed or anxious (Monshouwer, ten Have, van Poppel, Kemper, & Vollebergh, 2013).
Helping Anxious Students
Just as with depression, you can help your anxious students develop good emotion regulation and coping strategies using the approaches discussed in the previous section. You will also minimize anxiety when you provide a predictable classroom and give students as much control over activities as possible. The most important part of a predictable classroom is a teacher who is consistent and responsive. When teachers are responsive, rather than critical or detached, students are more positive and less anxious (Hestenes, Kontos, & Bryan, 1993).
You can also reduce anxiety by minimizing daily hassles at school. These are small stressors—such as hearing teachers yell at other students, getting low grades for trivial errors, or having to sit still for too long. Daily hassles can also be time related, such as not having enough time to eat lunch, get from class to class, or play at recess. A group of honors students said their single biggest concern about starting high school was getting to class on time. This may seem trivial to you, but it caused anxiety in these 14-year-olds because the school was large, and they had only five minutes between classes. See Box 12.1 for suggestions on how to reduce test and math anxiety.
In summary, you have learned that emotions are present from birth and serve important functions. Yet, emotions must be regulated. Students who are better at regulation tend to be liked by others and academically successful; students who are poor at regulation sometimes develop emotional disorders that interfere with classroom learning. However, regulating their own emotions is half of students’ emotional competence. They must also learn to read others’ emotions.
12-4Understanding Others’ Emotions
A classmate teases 6th-grader Hector for getting a perfect score on his math test. Hector says, “I was surprised to find myself embarrassed about being a good student, but I knew he was just jealous.”
Hector uses emotion labels with skill. In Chapter 8 , you learned that as preschoolers begin to use emotion labels correctly, they also become better at understanding others’ emotions. By age 6, many children understand complex emotion labels like nervous, embarrassed, jealous, and miserable. However, during middle childhood they add variety, accuracy, and complexity to their talk about emotions. For example, Hector’s 6-year-old sister may know what Hector’s emotion words mean, but she is not likely to use them with such skill. The ability to talk about emotions helps older children understand others’ emotions better. (See Figure 12.4 for an essay on feelings by an elementary student.)
Figure 12.4Essay on Feelings
This is from the classroom journal of a 6th-grade boy. He is able to label a wide variety of emotions and readily link them to experiences. Would it surprise you to know that he is well liked by classmates?
By age 5, children know that beliefs or memories can cause emotions (e.g., remembering a pet died) and that “positive thinking” in a bad situation can lead to happier emotions (e.g., she broke her arm and gets to have a cool cast that her friends can sign!). However, not until age 7 or older do children emphasize beliefs, rather than the situation, as causing emotions (Bamford & Lagattuta, 2012). That is, our beliefs or appraisals of situations cause emotions, not the situation alone. One student who receives a C grade might be devastated, but another might be delighted, thinking, “My grades are coming up!” Thus, not until middle childhood are children likely to use reappraisal to cope with negative emotions.
During middle childhood, children become better at taking into account multiple, even competing, emotions. For example, most 12-year-olds can understand feeling both good and bad emotions after misspelling a familiar word during a spelling contest, but still winning a ribbon, whereas few 6-year-olds can (Larsen, To, & Fireman, 2007).
In Chapter 8 , you also learned that preschoolers use social referencing extensively. It is not used as much in middle childhood because children use social referencing primarily in ambiguous events, and fewer events are ambiguous for older children. Sixth-graders do not carefully watch their teachers’ faces for emotional reactions as much as 1st-graders do, because they know more about which events make their teachers happy or angry. However, both emotion contagion and social references are foundational to affective perspective-taking , which is the ability to accurately perceive another person’s emotions.
Affective perspective-taking is an important part of emotional competence because it influences success in social settings, including classrooms. However, as with any ability, it can be put to good or bad use. The con artist may read others’ emotions well but does not share their feelings. When affective perspective-taking includes sharing others’ feelings, we call it empathy . When students have empathy for another person, they may respond in one of three ways:
1. Sympathy is feeling concern for the other’s feelings.
2. Personal distress is a negative emotional reaction to someone else’s distress, where students focus on their own feelings.
3. Empathic distress is feeling distressed along with another person.
You might expect elementary-age children to be substantially more empathic than preschoolers because of their greater ability to read others’ emotions. However, research does not clearly show they feel more strongly for someone in distress, and some studies even find a decrease in empathy with age (Hastings, Zahn-Waxler, Robinson, Usher, & Bridges, 2000; Zahn-Waxler, Kochanska, Krupnick, & McKnew, 1990). Perhaps this is because empathy competes with older children’s growing self-protection. Take a peek in a 1st-grade classroom:
A boy is sent to the bathroom after wetting his pants in class. When he returns to the classroom, a girl loudly says, “That happened to me once.” Several other children affirm that it has happened to them. The boy visibly relaxes at this empathic outpouring.
Would 5th- or 10th-graders do the same when empathy competes with possible embarrassment?
12-4aIndividual Diversity in Understanding Others’ Emotions
Individual differences in the ability to read others’ emotions remain fairly stable over time. That is, children who are especially good at reading emotions and being empathic at one age tend to be better than their peers at a later age (Losoya & Eisenberg, 2000).
What Does Understanding Others’ Emotions Predict?
Students who are good at labeling and reading others’ emotions have higher academic achievement, have greater self-control, and are more cooperative (Izard et al., 2001). They are also sought out by peers (Fabes, Eisenberg, Hanish, & Spinrad, 2001). This is because they accurately interpret others’ perspectives and easily establish rapport.
In contrast, students who are poor at reading emotional cues are less liked by peers. They tend to be aggressive and have behavior problems in the classroom (Arsenio, Cooperman, & Lover, 2000; Coie & Dodge, 1998). They may confuse sad and angry expressions or not notice when others are irritated with them. For example, a group of 6th-grade boys avoided a classmate who kept telling the same joke over and over again. The classmate could not tell that the other boys were irritated by his repetition. His inability to read emotion cues led to social rejection.
What Predicts Understanding Others’ Emotions?
Student’s emotion regulation makes a strong contribution to understanding others’ emotions, as do the same parent factors that are linked to emotion regulation. Let’s discuss these next.
Students understand more about others’ emotions and are more sympathetic if they can regulate their own emotions (Denham et al., 2003; Eisenberg et al., 1997). When students witness someone else’s distress, they will feel sympathy if they can keep their own emotions at a moderate level, but they will feel personal distress if their own emotions are overly intense.
Attachment
Students with secure attachment tend to be better able to understand and discuss others’ emotions and to be more empathic than insecure students, who tend to respond to others’ distress with personal distress rather than sympathy (Dykas & Cassidy, 2011; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2005). Secure attachment may contribute to empathy because attachment promotes emotion regulation ability.
Parent Response to Children’s Emotions
Think about This
Think about a child you know well. How would you respond if the child:
1. Looked annoyed at receiving an undesirable gift?
2. Looked shaky while waiting to get a shot?
3. Won a race and jumped around boasting about it?
4. Was very angry, muttered threats, and slammed doors?
How should you respond in order to promote the child’s emotional competence? Defend your choices.
(Adapted from Saarni, 1999)
Parents who respond compassionately to their children’s negative outbursts serve as role models of empathy (Denham et al., 1997). However, parents should not accept children’s negativity when it hurts someone else. In one study, parents who allowed their children to express anger when frustrated, but not if it might hurt another’s feelings, had more sympathetic children (Eisenberg, Fabes, Schaller, Carlo, & Miller, 1991). Parents who prohibited all displays of anger had children who were more likely to experience personal distress rather than sympathy.
Expression of Emotions in the Family
Empathy is linked to emotions expressed in the family. Preschoolers whose mothers communicate warmly and are seldom negative toward them are more likely to become adolescents who are sympathetic toward others (Michalik et al., 2007). In contrast, children raised in families with mostly negative emotions may have low levels of sympathy.
Parent–Child Talk about Emotions
Talking about emotions helps children understand others’ emotions (Denham, Zoller, & Couchoud, 1994). Some families talk a lot about emotions, and some almost never do (Dunn, Brown, & Beardsall, 1991). Conversations about negative emotions are especially helpful because they focus more on the causes of emotions and involve more extensive vocabulary than conversations about positive emotions (Lagattuta & Wellman, 2002). Conflict between siblings provides a rich opportunity to talk about emotions. It may seem ironic that sibling conflict contributes to children’s emotional competence, but keep in mind that we refer to normal family conflicts, not intense conflicts. The emotions may be negative, but they are contained enough to allow (mostly) civil conversation.
Abuse
Abused children are less likely to read others’ emotions as accurately as nonabused children. At the same time, they can be overly sensitive to negative emotions. For example, neglected children have a bias toward perceiving sadness in others, perhaps because their mothers tend to be depressed. Physically abused children have a bias toward perceiving subtle anger cues in others and are quick to identify angry faces (Frankenhuis & de Weerth, 2013; Strang, Hanson, & Pollak, 2012). More of their brains’ processing capacity may be consumed by attending to signals of anger, which interferes with learning tasks (Strang et al., 2012).
Abused children may not be as empathic as nonabused children. They are more likely to respond to peers’ distress with either personal distress or attack. They might laugh, hit, or withdraw when they see another child in distress. Nonabused children, by comparison, are more likely to watch, help, or comfort the other (Klimes-Dougan & Kistner, 1990).
12-4bGroup Diversity in Understanding Others’ Emotions
Research has not found robust differences in affective perspective-taking across groups. However, small gender and cultural differences may exist. Let’s look at these next.
Gender
Are girls more empathic than boys? Some studies have found that girls show more concern for others and are better at reading distress in others, but other studies find no gender differences (Hastings, Zahn-Waxler, Robinson, Usher, & Bridges, 2000; Saarni, 1999). Studies that use self-report rather than physiological measures, such as heart rate, are more likely to find that girls are more empathic. This means that girls may think they should be more empathic and therefore report that they are, or girls may actually be more empathic than boys. The best summary of research to date is that gender differences in empathy are not consistently found, but when differences are found, girls are more empathic. Generally empathy is good, but it is possible that taking on others’ distress could have costs for one’s own well-being. Girls’ vulnerability to depression may be linked to their greater empathic distress (Smith & Rose, 2011).
Culture
As you learned earlier, Darwin argued more than a century ago that facial expressions are universal. Recent research confirms that people can read emotions across cultures through facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language (Ekman, 2009; Shariff & Tracy, 2011). People express emotion in basically the same way across cultures, but some subtle cultural differences exist, much like different dialects of the same language. As a result you are a little more accurate at reading emotions expressed by members of your own culture. Thus, you may need to work at creating emotion understanding when you or your students must cross cultural boundaries.
12-4bGroup Diversity in Understanding Others’ Emotions
Research has not found robust differences in affective perspective-taking across groups. However, small gender and cultural differences may exist. Let’s look at these next.
Gender
Are girls more empathic than boys? Some studies have found that girls show more concern for others and are better at reading distress in others, but other studies find no gender differences (Hastings, Zahn-Waxler, Robinson, Usher, & Bridges, 2000; Saarni, 1999). Studies that use self-report rather than physiological measures, such as heart rate, are more likely to find that girls are more empathic. This means that girls may think they should be more empathic and therefore report that they are, or girls may actually be more empathic than boys. The best summary of research to date is that gender differences in empathy are not consistently found, but when differences are found, girls are more empathic. Generally empathy is good, but it is possible that taking on others’ distress could have costs for one’s own well-being. Girls’ vulnerability to depression may be linked to their greater empathic distress (Smith & Rose, 2011).
Culture
As you learned earlier, Darwin argued more than a century ago that facial expressions are universal. Recent research confirms that people can read emotions across cultures through facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language (Ekman, 2009; Shariff & Tracy, 2011). People express emotion in basically the same way across cultures, but some subtle cultural differences exist, much like different dialects of the same language. As a result you are a little more accurate at reading emotions expressed by members of your own culture. Thus, you may need to work at creating emotion understanding when you or your students must cross cultural boundaries.
12-4cClassroom Implications of Understanding Others’ Emotions
Skill at reading others’ emotions influences success in the classroom. Students with this skill tend to be less aggressive, higher achievers, and more popular among teachers and classmates. There are several strategies you can use to help your students develop sensitivity to others’ emotions:
1. Use victim-centered discipline. Victim-centered discipline is a type of induction (see Chapter 8 ) that involves pointing out to children how their misbehavior made someone else feel. This trains empathy in children.
2. Use emotion contagion and social referencing to your students’ advantage, such as vividly conveying enjoyment of them and of the content you teach. Students will catch your emotions. Students are more likely to catch the emotions of those they like, such as a favorite teacher. Students are also more likely to accurately read and catch the emotions of those who clearly and strongly express their emotions (Zaki, Bolger, & Ochsner, 2008). Unfortunately, this can also work in a negative way, such as students catching “math anxiety” from their teachers, so be careful what you communicate (Beilock, Gunderson, Ramirez, & Levine, 2010).
3. Use literature to help students imagine the emotions of others. Novels help your students experience empathy for those of other cultures and give you a context for talking about emotions (Kidd & Castano, 2013; Lysaker, Tonge, Gauson, & Miller, 2011).
4. Help students improve emotion regulation. Factors that predict emotion regulation also predict affective perspective-taking skills. This means you can help students control their own emotions and understand others’ emotions better by following the suggestions given in the previous section.
Mrs. Ng did each of these things with Hailey. She established a warm relationship with Hailey and maintained a positive classroom climate. She accepted Hailey’s rage but did not tolerate her behavior. She sent Hailey to the bathroom to wash her face and calm down, teaching Hailey a coping strategy. Then she used the opportunity to talk with Hailey about emotions. She used inductive, victim-centered discipline by pointing out how Hailey’s behavior affected others. As a result, Hailey may become better at both controlling her own anger and understanding the feelings of others.
In addition to the strategies just discussed, there are dozens of curriculum programs designed to help students understand others’ emotions. One example is Promoting Alternative Thinking Strategies (PATHS) for young children. This program includes 60 lessons on how feelings are acceptable, how feelings provide information, how to recognize feelings, and how one’s behavior can affect others’ feelings. The intent of this program is to raise children’s awareness of their own and others’ emotions. PATHS has resulted in greater ability to talk about emotions, less negative emotion, less aggression, greater social skills, and more classroom involvement. The greatest gains were made by children who initially had behavior problems (Greenberg & Kusche, 2006).
Figure 12.5 provides a visual summary of the ways you can affect student’s ability to regulate their own emotions and understand others’ emotions. It also shows the outcomes linked to emotional competence. Use this figure as a quick guide to help you think about ways you can help your students, like Hailey, become more emotionally competent. Earlier you learned that one way to create a positive classroom climate that helps students regulate their emotions is to share jokes and have fun with students, as Mr. Pugh did in his class on electricity. Let’s take a look at humor and its place in the classroom.
Figure 12.5Model of Emotional Competence
This model summarizes the seven teacher and parent behaviors (in blue) that predict students’ emotional competence (in orange) and the outcomes linked to emotional competence (in green). Use this model to think about your own behavior and your students’ emotional competence.
12-5Humor in Middle Childhood
In a 7th-grade honors algebra class, the teacher wrote a problem on the SMART board. She asked the students to use their calculators to find the solution. After a few minutes, she called out, “Joseph, what does your calculator say?” Joseph promptly replied with a deadpan face, “Battery low. Suggest replacement.” Both the teacher and students laughed.
Many teachers believe humor enhances classroom climate, improves student motivation, and increases learning. On the other hand, some teachers view students’ clowning around as disruptive. Which view is correct? Let’s see what the research suggests.
Humor has many social functions: to entertain, to make others feel good, to save face, to give information, to communicate liking or disliking, to smooth awkward situations, and to put others in their place. Freud said that humor channels hostility in less harmful ways (see Box 8.1 ). However, humor can be quite harmful. Antisocial humor involves dirty or gross jokes and jokes that are disparaging to other people.
12-5aPlayful Teasing
Teasing is commentary that is playful, intentional, and provocative (Keltner, Capps, Kring, Young, & Heerey, 2001). It often involves humorous taunts or mock insults, threats, or challenges, but it can also be nonverbal. Teasing is generally humorous and for fun, like Kyle’s classmate teasing him for taking an extra step to solve the math problem. In Chapter 8 , you learned that you recognize teasing by its good nature and playful qualities. However, teasing can go too far. It can be used in a hostile way, like to belittle someone. If a child is teased repeatedly in a hostile way, that would constitute bullying. Ridicule and sexual teasing that border on harassment, such as teasing about sexual orientation, also constitute bullying (Espelage, Aragon, Birkett, & Koenig, 2008), and are different from playful teasing. We discuss bullying in Chapter 13 .
Playful teasing serves the same functions as other forms of humor: it strengthens social bonds, communicates information, and helps resolve conflicts in a nonconfrontational way. For example, in a school lunchroom, 10- to 14-year-old girls may use teasing to draw positive attention to a friend who has a new haircut. Among elementary children, teasing often occurs when a child talks to someone of the opposite sex. Thus, teasing is used to strengthen gender boundaries. Generally, children are more likely to tease those to whom they feel close. Popular high-status children are more likely to tease than low-status children (Keltner et al., 2001).
12-5bDevelopment of Humor
There is a movement toward antisocial jokes around 4th grade, whereas such jokes are seldom heard in younger children (Socha & Kelly, 1994). At this age, children also begin to understand sarcasm. An observer who watches a driver run into a mailbox might say, “You’re a great driver!” Five-year-olds are likely to take the sarcastic remark as truthful—he really is a good driver. Ten-year-olds realize the speaker means the opposite, and would likely find it funny. This is partly a result of a growing theory of mind; indeed, ToM is assessed in older children by their understanding of sarcasm (Peterson, Wellman, & Slaughter, 2012).
Children’s understanding of teasing shifts in middle childhood. Because they do not always understand when a peer is kidding, 1st-graders are more likely to react negatively to teasing than 3rd-graders. By 3rd grade, children are reasonably good at recognizing teasing, irony, and sarcasm, but cannot articulate how they recognize it until about 5th or 6th grade (Keltner et al., 2001). Children also get better at communicating playfulness, so that they less often have to say, “I was just kidding.” Perhaps for this reason, 6th-graders view teasing more positively than do younger children. With age, children change the issues that they tease about. For example, there is more teasing about the opposite sex among late-elementary than early-elementary children.
12-5cIndividual Diversity in Humor
Some children, like Joseph, have a better sense of humor than others. What do individual differences in humor predict? Humor helps students cope with difficult situations by taking a lighthearted view of stressful events (Dowling, 2013). Humor is a coping strategy. Imagine two children are getting acquainted, and one tells the other that he is repeating 3rd grade. The second child responds, “You must be pretty dumb.” In one study, most 8- to 12-year-olds agreed that the best response to this stressful situation is to use humor, like, “You have an interesting way of making friends.” Unfortunately, the children were not very good at generating humorous responses for themselves; the only coping strategy most could think of was to ignore the remark (Lightner, Bollmer, Harris, Milich, & Scambler, 2000). Thus, children sometimes need help to use humor as a coping strategy.
Humor also facilitates social acceptance. Children with a good sense of humor are liked better by both teachers and peers. In a study of more than 5,000 2nd- through 12th-graders, children who were popular leaders were described as having a sense of humor (Zeller, Vannatta, Schafer, & Noll, 2003). Adolescents who are humorous are less likely to be socially withdrawn, but they are also more likely to occasionally misbehave in class (Sletta, Sobstad, & Valas, 1995). Humor used effectively, and at the right time, in social interaction is a key part of social competence. However, antisocial, derisive humor can undermine social acceptance. Thus, playful humor contributes to social acceptance, but antisocial humor does not.
12-5dGroup Diversity in Humor
There are some gender differences in humor. Boys may be more humorous than girls in some ways; for example, they write funnier captions for cartoons and laugh more (Greengross & Miller, 2011). However, they tend more toward somewhat antisocial humor. In a study of elementary and middle school students, tickling was a common source of humor among girls, whereas the minor misfortunes of others was a common source of humor among boys (Dowling, 2013). Boys and girls tease about the same amount, but girls are more likely to back off if the target reacts negatively, by saying, “I was just joking” or by cajoling the target to laugh. Boys, on the other hand, may escalate the teasing to a higher level when the target reacts negatively, laughing and enjoying it more while they duck as the target swings at them (Eder, 1991). In a study of 3rd-graders, boys were more likely to cross the line from teasing to ridicule, particularly when the target was a girl (Voss, 1997). Thus, boys may go too far with teasing more often than girls.
12-5eClassroom Implications of Humor
Humor in the classroom enhances attention, makes learning enjoyable, and creates more positive relationships as well as a positive classroom climate (Fitzsimmons & McKenzie, 2003). Humor may also improve learning (Banas, Dunbar, Rodriguez, & Liu, 2010; Martin, Preiss, Gayle, & Allen, 2006). Sprinkling textbooks with cartoons may increase comprehension and motivation to read (Chua, 2014). You can promote humor in your classroom by initiating your own humor and by accepting children’s humor ( Photo 12.6 ).
Photo 12.6
Humor in the classroom can enhance attention and make learning enjoyable.
Marmaduke St. John/Alamy Stock Photo
Be Humorous Yourself
Being humorous may be more challenging for middle and secondary teachers, who tend to use less humor than elementary teachers. Reviews of several studies found that humor occurs on average about six times per hour in upper elementary school, but two to three times per hour in junior high and high school (Banas et al., 2010; McGhee, 2013). Use these guidelines to incorporate more humor in your classroom:
1. Keep humor positive. Sarcastic, antisocial humor can damage teacher–student relationships. Humor based on gross-out comments, sex, bodily functions, or obscenity has no place in the classroom.
2. Plan humor, especially if it does not come naturally to you. Build humor into lessons. Practice being humorous, field-test material, and memorize jokes. Use props like food and toys.
Accept Children’s Humor (When Appropriate)
You do not need to be the primary source of humor in your classroom. Your students will generate humor if you encourage it. Just as with teacher-initiated humor, child-initiated humor may be more common in elementary than in secondary school. In a classic study, smiling and laughter occurred two to three times more in a 3rd-grade versus an 11th-grade classroom (Fabrizi & Pollio, 1987). If you want to increase children’s humor in your classroom, use these guidelines:
1. Respond positively to humor. Elementary teachers tend to respond more positively than secondary teachers. In addition, teachers tend to respond more positively to the humorous remarks or behavior of children with whom they have a better relationship (Fabrizi & Pollio, 1987). Thus, you may have to try harder to appreciate the humor of students with whom you have a difficult relationship.
2. Be aware of the culture-based humor of your students if they are from a different ethnic group than you.
3. Invite children to share humor. One of our children’s favorite elementary teachers enthusiastically encouraged children to share jokes with her at the beginning of each school day. This set a positive tone for the class and also kept jokes within teacher-set bounds.
4. Clearly distinguish between playful teasing and antisocial humor. One adult recalled how distressing it was to be called “banana nose” because of his large nose: “I would go home or in the bathroom at school and cry and cry” (Kowalski, 2000, p. 234). In Chapter 9 , you learned how to decrease antisocial behavior among students.
Child-initiated humor can sometimes disrupt class and may need limits. In middle school, humorous students are likely to call out, be out of their seats, not do their schoolwork, and interact with other students. That is, they are highly active and social. By high school, humorous students are more skillful at abiding by classroom rules while still being humorous (Fabrizi & Pollio, 1987). Most student-initiated humor is only mildly disruptive to class. For example, Joseph’s response—“battery low”—in the opening story briefly disrupted the algebra lesson. It also added zest to class. Joseph was a good class clown—a delightful, upbeat child who made teaching fun.
We close this chapter on the emotional child by reiterating the importance of emotional competence for school success. Promoting students’ emotional competence is central—not merely an add-on—to the teacher’s role. Compared with students who struggle with their emotions, emotionally competent students like school more, have higher achievement, and are liked better by peers and teachers. As a bonus, when you promote your students’ emotional competence, not only will you be a more effective teacher, but you will also enjoy teaching more (Jennings & Greenberg, 2009).
