humanities

Introduction needs to be more detailed and should end with a strong thesis statement (central argument).

Your introduction is missing a thesis statement - Generally the thesis statement is placed as the last sentence in the introductory paragraph. The thesis statement should give the central argument for the paper. This sentence does not do that. Please read here about formulating a thesis statement: http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/thesis-statements/

A thesis statement should be one sentence in length and should give the main argument that your paper will “prove” in its course.

You need to give YOUR position as the thesis statement for your papers. The introduction should introduce the topic, then give both sides of the issue, and lastly give your thesis (your position) and the argument your paper will prove. Does that make sense?

"Cultural context section needs to include each of these subsections and each should be clearly labeled:

Represented in US

Individualistic/Collective

Artistic

Values

Religion"