Unit V ldrshp Dev

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EIAppraisal.pdf

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Results Report For

Robert Benders Date Completed:

September 2022

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. The four parts of the emotional intelligence model are based on the connection between what you see and what you do with yourself and others.

The 4 EQ Ski l ls

What I See What I Do

Personal Competence Personal competence is the collective power of your self-awareness and self-management skills. It's how you use emotional intelligence in situations that are more about you privately.

Self-Awareness Your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen. This includes keeping on top of how you tend to respond to specific situations and certain people.

Self-Management Your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior. This means managing your emotional reactions to all situations and people.

Social Competence Social competence is the combination of your social awareness and relationship management skills. It's about how you are with other people.

Social Awareness Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and get what is really going on. This often means understanding what other people are thinking and feeling, even if you don't feel the same way.

Relationship Management Your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully. Letting emotional awareness guide clear communication and effective handling of conflict.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

What the Scores Mean

Scores on the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal® come from a "normed" sample. That means your scores are based on a comparison to the global population to discover where you fall in each skill area. Read the following descriptions to better understand what your scores mean about your current skill level.

Score Range Meaning

90-100

A STRENGTH TO CAPITALIZE ON These scores are much higher than average and indicate a noteworthy strength. These strengths probably come naturally to you or exist because you have worked hard to develop them. Seize every opportunity to use these emotionally intelligent behaviors to maximize your success. You are highly competent in this skill, so work to capitalize on it and achieve your potential.

80-89

A STRENGTH TO BUILD ON This score is above average. However, there are a few situations where you don't demonstrate emotionally intelligent behavior. There are many things you've done well to receive this score and a few that could be better with some practice. Study the behaviors for which you received this score and consider how you can polish your skills.

70-79

WITH A L ITTLE IMPROVEMENT, THIS COULD BE A STRENGTH You are aware of some of the behaviors for which you received this score, and you are doing well with them. Other emotionally intelligent behaviors in this group are holding you back. Lots of people start here and see a big improvement in their emotional intelligence once it's brought to their attention. Use this opportunity to discover the difference and improve in the areas where you don't do as well.

60-69

SOMETHING YOU SHOULD WORK ON This is an area where you sometimes demonstrate emotionally intelligent behavior but not usually. You may be starting to let people down. Perhaps this is a skill area that doesn't always come naturally for you or that you don't make use of. With a little improvement in this skill, your credibility will go way up.

59 and below

A C O N C E R N Y O U M U S T A D D R E S S This skill area is either a problem for you, you don't value it, or you didn't know it was important. The bad news is your skills in this area are limiting your effectiveness. The good news is this discovery and choosing to do something about it will go a long way in improving your emotionally intelligent behavior.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

74 Your Overall Emotional Intelligence Score

Personal Competence My EQ Skill Scores

Personal competence is the collective power of your self-awareness and self-management skills. It's how you use emotional intelligence in situations that are more about you privately.

Self-Awareness

Your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen. This includes keeping on top of how you tend to respond to specific situations and certain people.

Self-Management

Your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior. This means managing your emotional reactions to all situations and people.

Social Competence My EQ Skill Scores

Social competence is the combination of your social awareness and relationship management skills. It's about how you are with other people.

Social Awareness

Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and get what is really going on. This often means understanding what other people are thinking and feeling, even if you don't feel the same way.

Relationship Management

Your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully. Letting emotional awareness guide clear communication and effective handling of conflict.

100 100

75 69

70 83

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

My EQ Strategies Based on the EQ behaviors that brought your scores down the most, your score profile suggests you can start with the development of SELF-MANAGEMENT using the following three EQ strategies.

What brings your score down most What you can do to improve

Not holding back when you know your actions and/or words will not help the situation.

Count to Ten: Self-management strategy #4 in the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Resisting change. Accept That Change is Just around the Corner: Self-management strategy #17 in the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Brushing people off when something is bothering you. Take Control of Your Self-Talk: Self-management strategy #9 in the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Count to Ten

You can thank your kindergarten teacher for this one! It was way back then sitting on the classroom rug with your legs crossed that you learned one of the most effective strategies for turning the temperature down when your emotions are running hot. Adulthood has a funny way of making us lose sight of some simple, yet profound, strategies for self-control.

All you have to do is this: When you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, stop yourself by taking in a deep breath and saying the number one to yourself as you exhale. Keep breathing and counting until you reach the number ten. The counting and breathing will relax you and stop you from taking rash action long enough to regain your composure and develop a more clear, rational perspective of the situation.

Sometimes, you might not even reach ten. For example, if you are in a meeting and someone abruptly interrupts you to blurt out something ridiculous that rubs you raw, you are unlikely to sit there silently while you breathe your way to ten. Even if you don't make it to double digits you'll stop the flow of frustration and anger long enough to cool down your overheated limbic system and give your rational brain some valuable time to catch up.

When your counting needs to be more subtle, there are lots of great ways to hide it from others. Some people will actually bring a beverage with them to every meeting they attend. This way, whenever they feel as though they may blurt out some emotionally charged statement, they take a drink. No one expects them to talk when they are drinking. So they have the time they need to calm down (and count if necessary), organize their thoughts, and plan something to say that's more constructive.

Reacting quickly and without much thought fans the flames burning in the emotional brain. Since a snappy comeback usually leads to a heated exchange where barbs are thrown back and forth, it's easy to find yourself in the midst of a full-blown emotional hijacking. When you slow things down and focus on counting, it engages your rational brain. You can then regain control of yourself and keep your emotions from running the show.

* This is self-management strategy #4 in the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Accept That Change is Just around the Corner

None of us is born with a crystal ball that predicts the future. Since you can't foresee every change and every obstacle that life throws in your path, the key to navigating change successfully is your perspective before changes even surface.

The idea here is to prepare for change. This is not so much a guessing game where you test your accuracy in anticipating what's next, but rather thinking through the consequences of potential changes so that you aren't caught off guard if they surface. The first step is to admit to yourself that even the most stable, trusted facets of your life are not completely under your control. People change, businesses go through ebbs and flows, and things just don't stay the same for long. When you allow yourself to anticipate change - and understand your options if changes occur - you prevent yourself from getting bogged down by strong emotions like shock, surprise, fear and disappointment when changes actually happen. While you're still likely to experience these negative emotions, your acceptance that change is an inevitable part of life enables you to focus and think rationally, which is critical to making the most out of an unlikely, unwanted or otherwise unforeseen situation.

The best way to implement this strategy fully is to set aside a small amount of time either every week or every other week to create a list of important changes that you think could possibly happen. These are the changes you'll want to be prepared for. Leave enough room below each change on your list to write out all the possible actions you will take should the change occur. And below that, jot down ideas for things that you can do now to prepare for that change. What are the signs that you can keep an eye out for that would suggest the change is imminent? Should you see these signs, is there anything you can do to prepare and soften the blow? Even if the changes on your list never come to fruition, just anticipating change and knowing what you'd do in response to it makes you a more flexible and adaptive person overall.

* This is self-management strategy #17 in the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Take Control of Your Self-Talk

Research suggests the average person has about 50,000 thoughts every day. Sound like a lot? It doesn't stop there. Every time one of those 50,000 thoughts takes place, chemicals are produced in your brain that can trigger reactions felt throughout your body. There is a strong relationship between what you think and how you feel, both physically and emotionally. Because you are always thinking (much like breathing), you tend to forget that you are doing it. You likely don't even realize how much your thoughts dictate how you feel every hour of every single day.

It's impossible to try and track every single thought you have to see if it's having a positive or negative influence on your emotional state. The thoughts that are most influential are those where you literally talk to yourself. Though you might not realize you have these thoughts, we all have an internal voice inside our head that affects our perception of things. We tell ourselves to keep quiet, we congratulate ourselves on a job well done, and we reprimand ourselves for making poor decisions. Our thoughts are "talking" to us every day, and this inner voice is called "self-talk."

With thoughts, the primary vehicle for regulating your emotional flow, what you allow yourself to think can rumble emotions to the surface, stuff them down underground, and intensify and prolong any emotional experience. When a rush of emotion comes over you, your thoughts turn the heat up or down. By learning to control your self-talk, you can keep yourself focused on the right things and manage your emotions more effectively.

Much of the time, your self-talk is positive and it helps you through your day ("I'd better get ready for the meeting" or "I'm really looking forward to going out to dinner tonight"). Your self-talk damages your ability to self-manage anytime it becomes negative. Negative self-talk is unrealistic and self-defeating. It can send you into a downward emotional spiral that makes it difficult to get what you want from life.

What follow are the most common types of negative self-talk with the keys to taking control of them and turning them around:

Turn I a lways or I never into just this t ime or sometimes. Your actions are unique to the situation in front of you, no matter how often you think you mess up. Make certain your thoughts follow suit. When you start treating each situation as its own animal and stop beating yourself up over every mistake, you'll stop making your problems bigger than they really are.

Replace judgmental statements l ike I 'm an idiot with factual ones l ike I made a mistake. Thoughts that attach a permanent label to you leave no room for improvement. Factual statements are objective, situational, and help you to focus on what you can change.

Accept responsibil ity for your actions and no one else's. The blame game and negative self-talk go hand in hand. If you are someone who often thinks either it's all my fault or it's all their fault you are wrong most the time. It is commendable to accept responsibility for your actions, but not when you carry someone else's burden. Likewise, if you're always blaming others, it's time to take responsibility for your part.

* This is self-management strategy #9 in the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0