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The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management & Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping
Eleventh Edition
Chapter 4
Therapeutic Presence: Tune In to Clients and Listen Carefully
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
1
The Skills of Physically Tuning In to Clients
SOLER
S: Face the client Squarely
O: Adopt an Open posture
L: Remember that it is possible at times to Lean toward the other person
E: Maintain good Eye contact
R: Try to be relatively Relaxed, or natural, in these behaviors.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Nonverbal Channels of Communication of Helper and Client in the Therapeutic Dialogue (1 of 2)
Bodily behavior: posture, body movements, and gestures
Eye behavior: eye contact, staring, eye movement
Facial expressions: smiles, frowns, raised eyebrows, and twisted lips
Voice-related behavior: tone of voice, pitch, volume, intensity, inflection, spacing of words, emphases, pauses, silences, fluency
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Nonverbal Channels of Communication of Helper and Client in the Therapeutic Dialogue (2 of 2)
Observable autonomic physiological responses: quickened breathing, blushing, paleness, pupil dilation
Physical characteristics: fitness, height, weight, and complexion
Space: distance a person chooses to be during a conversation
General appearance: grooming and dress
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Self-Questions for Helpers on Visibly Tuning In to Clients
What are my attitudes toward this client?
How would I rate the quality of my presence to this client?
In what ways am I distracted from giving my full attention to this client?
What am I doing to handle these distractions? How might I be more effectively present to this person?
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Forms of Poor Listening
Non-listening
Partial listening
Audio-recorder listening
Rehearsing
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Carl Rogers’s Definition of Empathic Listening
It means entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it. It involves being sensitive, moment by moment, to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person, to the fear or rage or tenderness or confusion or whatever that he or she is experiencing. It means temporarily living in the other’s life, moving about in it delicately without making judgments. (1980, p. 142)
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Listen Carefully to Clients’ Stories
Clients talk about:
Clients’ Experiences
What happens to them
Clients’ Thoughts
The way they think, their points of view, what thoughts go through their minds
Clients’ Behavior
What they do and don’t do
Clients’ Affect
Their feelings and moods associated with their experiences and behavior
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Listen to clients’ nonverbal messages and modifiers
Confirming or repeating
Denying or confusing
Strengthening or emphasizing
Adding intensity
Controlling or regulating
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Distorted Listening: The Shadow Side of Helping
Filtered listening
Evaluative listening
Stereotype-based listening
Fact-centered rather than person-centered listening
Sympathetic listening
Falling for myths about nonverbal behavior
Interrupting that does not promote dialogue
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.