Short paper due in 12 hours

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The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management & Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping

Eleventh Edition

Chapter 4

Therapeutic Presence: Tune In to Clients and Listen Carefully

The Skills of Physically Tuning In to Clients

SOLER

S: Face the client Squarely

O: Adopt an Open posture

L: Remember that it is possible at times to Lean toward the other person

E: Maintain good Eye contact

R: Try to be relatively Relaxed, or natural, in these behaviors.

Nonverbal Channels of Communication of Helper and Client in the Therapeutic Dialogue (1 of 2)

Bodily behavior: posture, body movements, and gestures

Eye behavior: eye contact, staring, eye movement

Facial expressions: smiles, frowns, raised eyebrows, and twisted lips

Voice-related behavior: tone of voice, pitch, volume, intensity, inflection, spacing of words, emphases, pauses, silences, fluency

Nonverbal Channels of Communication of Helper and Client in the Therapeutic Dialogue (2 of 2)

Observable autonomic physiological responses: quickened breathing, blushing, paleness, pupil dilation

Physical characteristics: fitness, height, weight, and complexion

Space: distance a person chooses to be during a conversation

General appearance: grooming and dress

Examples

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH2tF8oB3cw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQOrzyBuAi8

Self-Questions for Helpers on Visibly Tuning In to Clients

What are my attitudes toward this client?

How would I rate the quality of my presence to this client?

In what ways am I distracted from giving my full attention to this client?

What am I doing to handle these distractions? How might I be more effectively present to this person?

Forms of Poor Listening

Non-listening

Partial listening

Audio-recorder listening

Rehearsing

Carl Rogers’s Definition of Empathic Listening

It means entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it. It involves being sensitive, moment by moment, to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person, to the fear or rage or tenderness or confusion or whatever that he or she is experiencing. It means temporarily living in the other’s life, moving about in it delicately without making judgments. (1980, p. 142)

Listen Carefully to Clients’ Stories

Clients talk about:

Clients’ Experiences

What happens to them

Clients’ Thoughts

The way they think, their points of view, what thoughts go through their minds

Clients’ Behavior

What they do and don’t do

Clients’ Affect

Their feelings and moods associated with their experiences and behavior

Listen to clients’ nonverbal messages and modifiers

Confirming or repeating

Denying or confusing

Strengthening or emphasizing

Adding intensity

Controlling or regulating

Distorted Listening: The Shadow Side of Helping

Filtered listening

Evaluative listening

Stereotype-based listening

Fact-centered rather than person-centered listening

Sympathetic listening

Falling for myths about nonverbal behavior

Interrupting that does not promote dialogue