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The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management & Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping
Eleventh Edition
Chapter 5
Empathic Responding: Work at Mutual Understanding
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
1
Responding Skills
Helpers respond to clients by sharing their understanding, checking to make sure they got things right, probing for clarity, summarizing the issues being discussed, and helping clients challenge themselves in a variety of ways.
The ability to express empathy is important because we all want to be understood and we function better when we are understood.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Empathic Relationships
The therapeutic alliance should be an empathic relationship. The skill and practice of communicating empathy to clients should not be a means to an end, but an integral part of the therapeutic relationship throughout the helping process.
Empathy now can be seen as a value, as a communication skill, and as a mode of treatment in itself.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Three Dimensions of Responding Skills
Perceptiveness: Accuracy of perceptions
Know-How: Ability to translate perceptions into words
Assertiveness: Delivering responses into the therapeutic dialogue
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
The Basic Formula for Communicating Empathic Understanding
You feel . . .
[here name the correct emotion expressed by the client].
. . .because . . .
[here indicate the correct thoughts, experiences, and behaviors that give rise to the feelings].\
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Respond Accurately to Clients’ Feelings, Emotions, and Moods
Use the right family of emotions and the right intensity
Distinguish between expressed and discussed feelings
Read and respond to feelings and emotions embedded in clients’ nonverbal behavior
Be sensitive in naming emotions
Use variety in responding to clients’ feelings and emotions
Neither overemphasize nor underemphasize feelings, emotions, and moods
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Respond Accurately to the Key Experiences, Thoughts, and Behaviors in Clients’ Stories
Key experiences, thoughts, and behaviors give rise to clients’ feelings, emotions, and moods. They are also important parts of clients’ stories in themselves.
The “because…” in the empathic-response formula links all of these elements together.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
More on communicating empathy
Respond selectively to client messages
Sometimes you must pay attention to one or two messages even though the client communicates many. This can help clients identify their core issues.
Sometimes you focus on experiences OR actions OR feelings rather than all three.
Respond to the context, not just to the words
Take into account not just the client’s immediate words and nonverbal behavior but also everything that “surrounds” and permeates a client’s statement.
The context modifies everything the client says.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Learn How to Recover from Inaccurate Understanding
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
The Shadow Side of Responding
No response
Distracting questions
Clichés
Interpretations
Advice
Parroting
Agreement and sympathy
Faking it
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.