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The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management & Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping

Eleventh Edition

Chapter 5

Empathic Responding: Work at Mutual Understanding

Responding Skills

Helpers respond to clients by sharing their understanding, checking to make sure they got things right, probing for clarity, summarizing the issues being discussed, and helping clients challenge themselves in a variety of ways.

The ability to express empathy is important because we all want to be understood and we function better when we are understood.

Rogers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_yGBnZXFFA

Empathic Relationships

The therapeutic alliance should be an empathic relationship. The skill and practice of communicating empathy to clients should not be a means to an end, but an integral part of the therapeutic relationship throughout the helping process.

Empathy now can be seen as a value, as a communication skill, and as a mode of treatment in itself.

Three Dimensions of Responding Skills

Perceptiveness: Accuracy of perceptions

Know-How: Ability to translate perceptions into words

Assertiveness: Delivering responses into the therapeutic dialogue

The Basic Formula for Communicating Empathic Understanding

You feel . . .

[here name the correct emotion expressed by the client].

. . .because . . .

[here indicate the correct thoughts, experiences, and behaviors that give rise to the feelings].\

Respond Accurately to Clients’ Feelings, Emotions, and Moods

Use the right family of emotions and the right intensity

Distinguish between expressed and discussed feelings

Read and respond to feelings and emotions embedded in clients’ nonverbal behavior

Be sensitive in naming emotions

Use variety in responding to clients’ feelings and emotions

Neither overemphasize nor underemphasize feelings, emotions, and moods

Respond Accurately to the Key Experiences, Thoughts, and Behaviors in Clients’ Stories

Key experiences, thoughts, and behaviors give rise to clients’ feelings, emotions, and moods. They are also important parts of clients’ stories in themselves.

The “because…” in the empathic-response formula links all of these elements together.