English Composition

All writers revise their work as part of the writing process. For Touchstone 3, submit a revised version of your Touchstone 2.2 informative essay. The process of revising involves “re-thinking” your essay. Your revision should reflect your attention to the following:

· Rhetorical situation

· Focus

· Organization

· Flow

· Style

· Clarity

As you review the grader’s suggestions and feedback of your draft, evaluate how your essay can be improved in each of the areas above. Focus your attention on the areas that would benefit most from revision. You can add, delete, or move text as you revise your essay.

Note the following revision guidelines:

· Do not draft a new essay on a new topic. You must revise your Touchstone 2.2 draft using the feedback provided.

· Allow time between drafts so that you can see your original work from a new perspective.

· Revision is different from editing and proofreading; however, be sure to edit and proofread your revised essay before you submit it.

big idea

Revise your Touchstone 2.2 essay using the revision strategies you learned in Unit 3. This revision should reflect significant changes from your first draft, and should incorporate the feedback you received on Touchstone 2.2.

Include answers to all of the following reflection questions below your completed revision.

1. How much time did you spend revising your draft? Which revision strategies did you use, and which of them worked best for you? (2-3 sentences)  Sophia says: A good revision takes time. This is your opportunity to re-think, rearrange, and re-evaluate your writing. Which revision strategies did you use? Do you still agree with your thesis? Do you believe that your evidence supports your thesis and that you have met the requirements of the assignment?

2. How did the revision process improve your essay? (2-3 sentences)  Sophia says: Compare your draft to your revision. Have you added relevant details or removed irrelevant ones? Have you changed the order of details or paragraphs? Have you added transitions for better flow? In which ways is your revision better than your draft?

3. What did you learn about your writing process or yourself as a writer? (2-3 sentences)  Sophia says: Think about the entire process of drafting and revising this essay. Did any part of the process surprise you or reveal something unexpected?

Your essay and reflection will be scored according to the Informative Rubric, which considers your revision and edits, effectiveness in addressing the writing prompt for either the advertisement image analysis essay OR the extended definition essay, the working thesis, organization, style and tone, focus, conventions and proofreading, and your responses to the “Think About Your Writing” questions.

Refer to the checklist below throughout the writing process. Do not submit your Touchstone until it meets these guidelines.

Editing and Revising ❒ Have you significantly revised your essay, making adjustments in areas that include organization, focus, and clarity? ❒ Have you made comprehensive changes in word choice, sentence variety, and style? ❒ Have you made revisions that are based on the feedback provided by your evaluator?

Essay Prompt: Image Analysis ❒ If you chose the image analysis prompt, have you revisited your analysis and interpretation of the image’s use of design components to ensure that you've done more than describe the ad? ❒ Have you revisited your conclusions about the audience and effectiveness of the ad? ❒ Did you include the image in your essay? ❒ Is your draft 800-1300 words long?

Essay Prompt: Extended Definition ❒ If you chose the extended definition prompt, did you make sure that your definition extends the definition and doesn’t rely too heavily on the traditional definition? ❒ Did you revisit the examples and explanations that support your definition? ❒ Is your essay 800-1300 words in length?

Thesis ❒ Have you revised your thesis statement? ❒ Did you make sure that your thesis states the overall claim of the essay? ❒ Is your thesis one sentence that is located toward the end of the introductory paragraph?

Focus and Organization ❒ Have you reviewed your body paragraphs and made sure that each one has a clear topic sentence restating the subject and main point covered in that body paragraph? ❒ Have you revisited your conclusion paragraph and final thoughts? ❒ Have you reviewed the sequence of your ideas? ❒ Have you improved your transitions to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs? ❒ Have you improved the flow of your essay? ❒ Does your revision have a clear focus? ❒ Have you maintained a clear focus and included only relevant details?

Style and Tone ❒ Have you ensured that the tone of your essay is unbiased and informative? ❒ Have you informed the reader about your topic avoiding the first person and/or framing personal examples in an objective way? ❒ Have you reconsidered your word choices?

Conventions ❒ Have you checked your draft for grammatical errors? ❒ Have you used spell-check or another method to check spelling? ❒ Have you punctuated your essay correctly?

Before You Submit ❒ Have you included your name, date, and course at the top left of the page? ❒ Have you completed the “Think About Your Writing” questions? ❒ Is your essay between three and five pages (approximately 800-1300 words) in length?

Touchtone 2.2

Family: An Extended Definition

Dictionary definitions of family frequently center on a group of people connected by blood, marriage, or adoption. Usually, society sees family as a nuclear unit—parents and children cohabiting, sharing a house, and providing each other support. Focused on biological and legal ties, this perspective captures a conventional definition of family. This definition, however, reduces the idea of family to those with whom one has a genetic link or a marriage license, therefore excluding the deeper, more flexible ties that many people regard to be family. True family is defined by emotional ties, mutual support, and shared ideals that create a lifetime of belonging rather than by only biological or legal attachments. These components underline that family can be found among friends, communities, and people who support us, therefore forming a family dynamic by their presence and care instead of by blood or law.

Strong emotional ties, which transcend blood kin, are a necessary component of a family.

Deep connection and trust that usually develop over time from common experiences, mutual understanding, and constant care define emotional ties. A supportive relationship is based on these relationships since they let people feel noticed, respected, and understood. Close friends who have spent years together through both happy and difficult circumstances, for instance, often grow emotionally bonded like those in conventional families. Think of friends who share holidays, help each other through life transitions, or serve as each other's "family" at weddings, graduations, and even hospital stays. Such close relationships satisfy emotional demands sometimes related to family and offer stability and comfort.

Emotional closeness also helps mentors, colleagues, even neighbors to create family-like relationships. A long-time mentor who has helped someone's career could occupy a family-like role in that person's life. Though not legally or biologically related, such people might become family by their regular emotional presence. This relationship goes beyond conventional definitions and broadens the concept of family to include people who into our life bring emotional warmth, encouragement, and support. In this sense, family is about emotional stability and comfort—qualities found in relationships much beyond the confines of blood or legal connection.

Mutual support—which transcends financial or physical help to include emotional and moral direction—adds still another level of family. Regardless of the obstacles they encounter, true family members are those that support and trust one another. Mutual support captures the reciprocal character of family ties, in which every member is dedicated to the welfare of the others. A group of friends that get together often to talk about their life, provide guidance, and offer a sympathetic ear can be like a family, for example This kind of meeting provides a continuous supply of encouragement, therefore enabling everyone to feel appreciated and supported by others.

Communities and social groups that help under trying circumstances also clearly show mutual support. By giving a forum where people may rely on one another, community organizations or support groups—such as those helping with bereavement or recovery—often reflect family-like traits. People may assist one another in these environments to celebrate successes or manage personal challenges, therefore mirroring the altruistic support that many associate with family. Including these groups into the definition of family helps us to see that family can be anyone who provides constant support and cares about one's own development and success.

At last, common values and objectives foster unity and belonging that defines family even beyond conventional limits. Based on shared values, beliefs, or hobbies that support their sense of identity and goal, families typically create close bonds. For some, family is defined by cultural customs, moral values, or shared experiences that bind individuals together via a common commitment. A group of activists pursuing a shared cause, for instance, might develop a family-like relationship by sharing the values and ideas guiding them toward social change. Their shared commitment to the cause results in an identification and belonging akin to that of a family.

Sports teams or religious organizations that promote togetherness and friendship also exhibit shared beliefs. For individuals who share its beliefs and ideals, a church community that worships, volunteers, and hosts events together could function as a family. Likewise, a sports team that practices, plays, and cheers one another through wins and defeats usually grows to represent family. These organizations help members to feel welcomed and understood, therefore developing a shared identity that enhances their connections. Based on common values and goals, this sense of togetherness widens the notion of family to encompass individuals who fit us in purpose and ideals, therefore demonstrating that family can be about shared vision as much as shared DNA.

Ultimately, family is composed of emotional ties, mutual support, and shared ideals; it is not just defined by legal contacts or biological relatives. We acknowledge that family can exist in friendships, communities, and any relationship that offers stability and connection into our life by extending the definition of family to encompass anyone who offer love, loyalty, and a sense of belonging. Though we are not connected by blood or by law, true family is found in the relationships we form with those who support our development, celebrate our successes, and enable us to become our best selves.

Think about your writing

1. Significance: This essay redefines family to emphasize meaningful connections that go beyond biological or legal ties, showing readers that family can exist wherever there is emotional support, mutual care, and shared purpose.

2. Areas Needing Revision: Expanding examples within each paragraph could add clarity, and refining the transitions could improve the flow between ideas.

3. Strengths and Weaknesses: The essay’s strength lies in its organized structure and clarity, while future revisions could deepen engagement with more varied sentence structures and more vivid examples.