FOR NJOSH ONLY

HDFS 215: Dynamics of Family Development

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In My Life Diary

HDFS 215: Dynamics of Family Development

Complete Checkpoint 1;

Entry 1.

Transition from Adolescence to Adulthood, Dr. Kimmery Newsom;

According to Newsom, the successful transition from childhood to adulthood must comprise of both development of a personal identity and capacity for intimacy in relationships. Intimacy here implies the ability to be committed to serious partnerships that may even demand sacrifice and compromise to endure. In particular, the successful transition to adulthood is marked in many societies by marriage which is a culmination of the intimacy and personality development described. Understanding this transition is crucial in the development of the family and to ensure relationships grow, there is need for parents to relinquish control over the children who are in a transformation into adults. Likewise, for the young adults, there must be progression towards an evolving identity such as getting married and starting a family. In addition, assumption of marital roles forms part of the new identity in full transition. Whereas traditionally marriages have been heterosexual, today same sex marriages are being treated much the same especially as concerns the law.

In my own life, this transition appears to get closer by the day. To illustrate, I am now close to completing college and essentially the next logical step would be to find a job to develop a career. In the same time, there will be need for intimacy even more than there is at school at the moment. The end product of all this should be the beginning of a family with someone intimate. I therefore, see this transition playing out in my life essentially signaling that childhood has passed and now I must take on a new identity – that of an adult. To complete this transition, I ideally will get married soon or at least live with an intimate other amid the usual responsibilities of adulthood including finances. Looking at my colleagues, I can attest that, it is a transition because everyone is going through the same.

Entry 2;

Emotional Processes, pt. 2

Emotional processes involve “emotional triangles’ which are essentially, the relationship between two people that must involve a third. According to Friedman’s laws of emotional triangles, where there are two people in a relationship, they must focus on someone or something else therefore causing triangulation. This serves to create stability, provide for displacement of anxiety as well as control over issues. In as much as the third person is involved, he/she will have difficulty trying to separate the two and in many instance even trying to bring them together may also not work. It is suggested that in such cases, it is better to distance one’s self and draw boundaries with the others. It is also important to think objectively of the matter at the heart of the triangle as well.

I think that emotional triangles apply to our everyday lives because I am often caught in the middle of two people. For instance, my mother and step dad are in a relationship in which I am constantly a ‘third person”. This is because their decisions have to consider me in terms of effect and whether decisions will sit well with my own circumstances. Often times, this becomes a source of disturbance or conflict and essentially, the pointers given here on triangulation are vital in salvaging the situation. Essentially, I think that drawing the boundaries would be doing well because then, the two cannot focus on me too much. Equally, if I identify the issue at the center of this triangle there might be better outcomes for all. Essentially, giving time to issues is also part of the emotional processes described and this will be vital in own case. While I pursue other goals, I will give time to the triangle although issues that keep emerging can be settled through the suggested boundaries.

Entry 3;

Feminists Family Theory

Feminism definitively refers to the movement that seeks to promote equality for men and women in the spheres of politics, economics and society. There are several types of feminism emerging from this general definition, such as queer theory feminism and lesbian feminism. The first leans towards examining how sexual minorities subvert gender and power while the latter revolves around the patriarchal society that women must rebel against. Basically, feminism has evolved from the 1700s to date while distinct eras have been divided into five namely; the early feminism, suffrage, modern, reformation and the postmodern feminism. At first, the movement sought to create a space for women in spheres owned and dominated by men including the political offices, industry and finance. Beginning with efforts of the likes of Mary Wollstonecraft (1759—1797), women began demanding inclusion into this exclusively male sphere. Later with the efforts of many women and enlightened men, suffrage was achieved and then the fight went on to put women in the boardrooms and offices.

In my own observations, feminism seems to have come from good roots and it is undeniable that a lot has been achieved by the movement. This is not only beneficial to the women who have been emancipated through the movement but also to the society in general. With women enjoying all that they have fought for, the society has also become better and progressive in addition to unlocking their economic potential. I am however, appalled at the new form of feminism which seems displaced. For instance, the calls for women to revolt against heterosexual relationships as a way of getting back at patriarchy seems ill informed and misguided. This should have no share with the achievements of the glorious feminists of the past who won suffrage and related rights. This direction will destroy the family in the name of liberation of those not oppressed by anyone.