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Smarthinking Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello, ! My name is BOY ., and I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength:  Your titles, citations, and bibliography all largely follow what appears to be APA formatting, ensuring a strong sense of consistency to the essay's structure. Good work! Main Idea/Thesis Your introduction could use a thesis or similar statement to express the essay's main idea. What specific position about workplace diversity will you support/analyze, and how an why will you discuss this position? A statement built from your answers should fully convey the essay's scope and purpose and so give it a deeper sense of direction and meaningfulness.

  Once you have clarified your main idea, you should explain how your supporting details relate to this idea, like this example for instance:    - Your people's unique qualities and experiences can't be fully utilized if they don't feel valued and cherished for who they are. How does this insight support/demonstrate your main idea? Your answers should spell out the relevance of this detail and so justify its inclusion in your discussion. With this in mind, you should ask similar questions about your other supporting details to ensure that they are all explained as needed. You can learn more about the value of explanation in the Writer's Handbook lesson on Powerful Body Paragraphs .

*   Your draft could use a dedicated conclusion paragraph to wrap up your discussion. How have you proven your main idea? What key insights have you revealed about workplace diversity? How might readers act on/benefit from these insights and their implications for society? A paragraph that answers questions like these should give a definitive final word on the whole essay and so end it in a more meaningful and satisfying way. For more on the value of conclusion writing, you can consult the Writer's Handbook lesson on Strong Conclusions .

Summary of Next Steps: 

· Clarify the essay's main idea.  

· Explain your supporting details.  

· Give your draft a conclusion. 

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review, I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day! -

You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking Writer's Handbook .

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Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.

NOTE FROM STUDENT CAN YOU ELABORATE ON the SENTENCE IN BOLD AND IN BRACKETS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empowerment and Diversity

NO MAM

04/27/2022

 

 

 

The importance of workplace diversity cannot be overstated, especially when it comes to employee satisfaction. Because each member of the team, from the top down to the front lines and mobile workers, brings a unique set of experiences, opinions, and backgrounds to the table, workplace diversity stimulates creativity and innovation. People from a variety of backgrounds and experiences come together to form a diverse community. A wide range of factors is considered when it comes to the workplace's cultural and gender variety, as well as religious and linguistic diversity (Dike, 2019). Nothing more. [This is a fragment, or an incomplete thought acting as a sentence. What action is meant to be taken by/apply to the concept of "nothing more" here?] It's a group of people who think, act and look differently working together to solve difficult problems.

More than an HR training or workshop is needed for a diverse staff. Workplace diversity can be helpful if it is implemented correctly. When it comes to creative problem solving, for example, a diverse staff has been proved to be better at it. [What research/statistics can confirm this proof about diverse staff? This claim could use evidence to validate it.] People's freedom to think for themselves and make their own decisions is a natural byproduct of a society that values empowerment. It frees the creative energy of your employees and your firm. A culture that encourages innovation and creativity results in these outcomes (Sharma, 2020). Your people's unique qualities and experiences can't be fully utilized if they don't feel valued and cherished for who they are. It's nearly impossible to come up with new ideas or be imaginative.

An understanding of the challenges faced by workers from a variety of backgrounds has led to the creation of workplaces that are both flexible and supportive, allowing all employees to participate completely in the decision-making process. To ensure that everyone of working age, regardless of their changing personal circumstances, has the opportunity to participate in the workforce, empowerment involves adjusting physical workspaces, equipment and tools, work

 

methods, and timetables to level the playing field. There is no opportunity equality without empowerment (Bashir et al., 2021). Since each employee has a unique set of skills and talents, a diverse workplace is essential. Our common humanity may be the secret to a successful, dynamic organization and an equitable work environment if we can learn to appreciate our differences. Because of this, an organization must welcome and empower its diverse staff to succeed. [These last two summary statements would make more sense as part of your conclusion paragraph.]

 

 

 

References

Bashir, M., Hameed, A., Bari, M. W., & Ullah, R. (2021). The Impact of Age-Diverse Workforce on Organization Performance: Mediating Role of Job Crafting. SAGE Open, 11(1), 215824402199905. https://doi.org/10.1177/2158244021999058

Dike, P. (2019). The impact of workplace diversity on organisations. https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/38093915.pdf

Sharma, A. (2020). Managing diversity and equality in the workplace. Cogent Business & Management, 3(1), 1–14. Tandfonline. https://doi.org/10.1080/23311975.2016.1212682