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Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity

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Different (Painful¡) Strokes for Different Folks: A General Overview of Sexual Sadomasochism (SM) and its Diversity

D J Williams

To cite this article: D J Williams (2006) Different (Painful¡) Strokes for Different Folks: A General Overview of Sexual Sadomasochism (SM) and its Diversity, Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 13:4, 333-346, DOI: 10.1080/10720160601011240

To link to this article: https://doi.org/10.1080/10720160601011240

Published online: 23 Feb 2007.

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Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 13:333–346, 2006 Copyright © Taylor & Francis Group, LLC ISSN: 1072-0162 print / 1532-5318 online DOI: 10.1080/10720160601011240

Different (Painful!) Strokes for Different Folks: A General Overview of Sexual Sadomasochism

(SM) and its Diversity

DJ WILLIAMS Idaho State University, USA

This article, written primarily for clinicians, draws from a variety

of sources and provides a basic overview of sexual sadomasochism

(SM). SM represents a wide range of behaviors and practices often

associated with sexuality, yet it may also refer to a specific lifestyle

or subculture composed of participants who regularly engage in

such practices. Although large numbers of individuals are likely to

participate in SM practices in various possible forms, many profes-

sionals may be unfamiliar with the diversity, terminology, possible

motivations, and issues surrounding SM. Given that SM is easily

misunderstood, it is important for professionals working in the area

of human sexuality to become familiar with alternative expressions

of eroticism, creative stimulation, and intimacy. It is suggested that

SM potentially may be enriching and beneficial to many who safely

participate, or it sometimes may be considered pathological and de-

structive. Insights are provided herein to raise awareness of issues

and to help clinicians negotiate these determinations.

The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) is committed to addressing and intervening issues surrounding sexual addiction and com- pulsivity. Our organization consists of clinicians, researchers, and educators representing a variety of specific disciplines who share a common purpose. Additionally, SASH appears to be broadening its scope, as evidenced by a recent name change, and a panel discussion at the 2005 National Confer- ence in San Francisco, titled “What is Healthy Sexuality?” Based on insights from both respected panel members and members of the audience, it is clear that healthy sexuality is perceived somewhat differently among professionals.

Address correspondence to DJ Williams, Department of Sociology, Social Work & Criminal Justice, Idaho State University, Pocatello Idaho 83209. E-mail: [email protected]

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334 DJ Williams

I believe such a diverse set of responses, itself, is healthy. I hope SASH mem- bers will continue to discuss what might constitute sexual health. It is im- portant to consider the various possible ways that members of society might experience variations of healthy sexuality.

However, rather than launch into a lengthy discussion of what healthy sexuality may or may not be, this paper acknowledges SASH diversity be- fore addressing a particular form of intimacy—sadomasochism (SM). One presentation at the conference focused on this topic (Montgomery, 2005). This timely and well-delivered presentation attracted numerous attendees, yet seemed to evoke strong perceptions and feelings from a majority of the audience. SM represents a wide range of possible behaviors, may be experi- enced very differently and hold different meanings among its practitioners, and therefore is difficult to define and understand.

Given the above background information, this overview is written specif- ically for those who may be somewhat unfamiliar with SM, and, justifiably, may have difficulty making sense of why any person would engage is such behaviors. Indeed, I have heard several individuals in SM lifestyles complain that clinicians don’t understand their relationships and would be quick to la- bel their unconventional practices as pathological. Although SM has received some, but not a lot (of), attention in the scholarly literature, it is important herein to include additional literature written by authors who have direct experience with SM. Such literature provides important practical information that is overlooked by researchers who, according to standard methods, ap- proach their topic from an experience-distant research process. Interestingly, many of these authors have advanced educational degrees, and several are counselors or therapists. By referencing multiple sources, we can integrate both research and practical knowledge, and thus it is possible to get a fuller understanding of what SM might be. Thus, the value of this overview is that it is an attempt to bridge, to some degree, these literatures. SM com- monly occurs among both males and females of different sexual orientations (Sandnabba, Santilla, Alison, & Nordling, 2002), and there are likely to be many who practice SM in one form or another, but remain silent from fear of being stereotyped by others. Since sexual pathology remains a concern within our field, strategies will be presented for helping professionals explore how SM may benefit or harm individual clients who participate in these dif- ferent practices.

WHAT IS SM AND BDSM?

Considering Behaviors

Moser (1988) reported that there is no commonly accepted definition of sexual SM behavior. Although admittedly difficult to precisely define, in the professional literature SM seems to represent a variety of possible be- haviors related to power exchange and the application of pain in a sexual

Overview of Sadomasochism 335

context. Although SM is the usual term used in the professional literature, the acronym BDSM is now probably more commonly used among its partic- ipants, and BDSM more accurately illustrates the diversity of relevant prac- tices. Thus, from here on the more encompassing term BDSM will be used, which also better illustrates the diverse components of possible experience. Integral BDSM concepts are bondage and discipline (B&D), Dominance and submission (D/s—in the BDSM community, reference to dominance is cap- italized while submission is not) and sadism and masochism (SM or S&M). Wiseman (1996) defines BDSM as, “the use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner in order for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth” (p. 40). Some individuals may only be involved in one aspect of BDSM (e.g., SM, but not B&D or D/s). Others may engage in practices that represent two or all three themes. Haymore (2002) noted that although these themes may be interrelated, they are separate and do not necessarily overlap.

Clinicians should not assume that because a client participates in a cer- tain BDSM behavior(s) that he or she necessarily engages in other specific behaviors. Behavioral preferences seem to be quite specific for many indi- viduals, psychological and sensory intensities also differ, and personal limits vary considerably from person to person. Also, it should be remembered that motivations and meanings surrounding behaviors often vary between indi- viduals. Some experiences produce primarily psychological effects, while others are more sensory in nature. A list of a wide range of BDSM behaviors is presented in Table 1.

Perhaps many participate as a way of creative expression, while others prefer the natural high that pain can provide. Still others might be drawn to the challenge, or perhaps the intense closeness one can feel with a partner (see Baumeister, 1991). Recently, Williams (2004) explained, “Many forms of deviance can and should be understood as fundamentally artistic, embodying creative, expressive, emotive, symbolic, and communicative elements char- acteristic of art” (p. 233). It is useful for clinicians to approach BDSM from this perspective.

An Alternative Lifestyle

While BDSM often refers to a set of behaviors, it can also refer to the lifestyles or subcultures of its participants based on these behaviors. Numerous BDSM groups exist that reflect different sexual orientations, and BDSM has a rich tradition within the leather communities (Baldwin, 2003). Baldwin observed that the “Old Guard” leather style of BDSM developed in the 1950s following World War II. According to him, the Old Guard style has a military flavor and emphasizes strict adherence to a set of unspoken rules about attire, socializing and cruising, and general behavior. However, over the past few

336 DJ Williams

TABLE 1 A Sampling of Behaviors Often Associated with BDSM

Anal sex Bondage/Restraints Body suspension Breath play (Erotic asphyxia or hypoxyphilia) Caning (hitting with a thin stick) Catheters Clothespins and clamps (attached to various parts of the body) Cockbinding Conventional sex toys (vibrators) Cuttings (superficial) Dildos Electrical play (with medical TENS unit or violet wand) Face slapping/humiliation Fire play (fire quickly applied via alcohol solution and extinguished on bare skin) Fisting (careful insertion of a hand into the vagina or anus) Flogging/Whipping Gags Hoods Hot wax (dripped on skin) Ice Knife play (used for surface play to evoke fear, excitement) Mummification or immobilization Needle play (carefully inserted under the outer layers of skin)/piercings Role play (teacher-student, doctor-patient, police-criminal, etc.) Spanking Skinbranding Vaginal sex Weights (attached to piercings, nipples or genitalia)

years the Internet has connected greater numbers of people with similar interests, and several BDSM websites and chat rooms have emerged (e.g., www.collarme.com). Although technology and the Internet quickly have contributed to new variations of the BDSM lifestyle, the traditions of the Old Guard continue to influence the BDSM subculture.

Popular BDSM Books

BDSM, then, perhaps can be conceptualized as participating in certain behav- iors within an intimate relationship, or it can refer to a lifestyle or subculture with its own set of norms, values, symbols, and organizations (Weinberg, 1995). Several books have been written introducing BDSM; these include SM101 (Wiseman, 1996); Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns (Miller & Devon, 1988); Learning the Ropes (Bannon, 1993); and Consensual Sado- masochism (Henkin & Holiday, 1996). A number of other books emphasize domination and submission or power exchange between participants (Bald- win, 2002, 2003; Brame & Brame, 1996; Easton & Hardy, 2001, 2003; Rinella, 1992, 1994; Sutton, 2003; Varrin, 2004; Varrin & Lechan, 2000; Warren , 2000). Still other how-to books on specific topics include making BDSM equipment

Overview of Sadomasochism 337

and toys (Kent, 2004), whipping and flogging (Bean, 2000; Conway, 2000), and how to safely administer erotic pain to the genitalia (Haberman, 2001).

Books generally emphasize ensuring physical and psychological care and safety of participants; communication, agreement and prior negotiation of boundary issues and what is to take place. The BDSM community ac- knowledges that all behaviors are associated with levels of risk, and the common motto “safe, sane, consensual,” is strongly promoted. A primary goal is ultimately for each participant to have an enjoyable shared experi- ence. The potential affect of specific experience on the overall well-being of participants should always be considered. Although sometimes limits may be pushed if agreed upon by both partners, BDSM should be safe, positive and enjoyable, not harmful or abusive. All players are expected to show care and empathy for each other.

Again, it should be noted that it is sometimes difficult to classify what is considered BDSM and what is not (Moser, 1988). It has long been known that most people engage in sexual fantasy, and many occasionally engage in playful sexual variations that could be classified as some aspect within BDSM (see Kinsey, Pomeroy, & Martin, 1948; Kinsey, Pomeroy, Martin, & Gebhart, 1953).

PLAY AND PLAYERS

Episodes involving BDSM activities are called scenes or play. It is notewor- thy that the word play is used. In the area of leisure, Kelly (1990) identified three elements of play: (a) it refers to the activity of children or to a ‘child- like’ lightness of behavior in adults (italics added), (b) play is expressive and intrinsic in motivation; and (c) it involves a nonserious suspension of conse- quences, a temporary creation of its own world of meaning which often is a shadow of the ‘real world.’ As play, BDSM is an avenue whereby responsible adults can act in ways that violate many of the norms of adult socialization. Safely and consensually acting out fantasies is promoted and generally en- couraged. Scenes may involve role-playing and typically involve a power differential between partners, shared assumptions about the experience, and mutual consent (see Weinberg, Williams, & Moser, 1984).

The BDSM lifestyle has its own terminology, including designations of players. The scholarly literature is not clear in these distinctions (several are assumed to overlap, although this frequently is not the case), so it is beneficial to clarify them here. A dominant is a person who assumes control within the relationship. Not all dominants are sadists, and dominants are not necessarily more aggressive with respect to personality traits. Some are quite shy. A female dominant may be called a Mistress, while a male is often called a Master or Lord. Submissives are individuals who voluntarily yield control to a specific dominant. Not all submissives are masochists—many submissives derive erotic pleasure not from experiencing pain, but from serving their

338 DJ Williams

dominants. A slave is a person who voluntarily enjoys extensive submission to his or her dominant. The collar (often crafted from leather or chain) is the formal symbol worn by a submissive or slave to represent submission to his or her dominant, and it holds significant personal meanings to both the dominant and submissive about this committed relationship.

Whereas the terms dominants and submissives often are generalized within overall BDSM relationships, designations of tops and bottoms ap- ply specifically to scenes, but usually there is not a relationship alle- giance outside of the scene like there is with dominant/submissive com- mitments. Finally, switches are individuals who have significant needs of dominance and submission and/or sexual sadism and masochism, and they often participate in either topping or bottoming during a specific scene depending on which aspect needs to be expressed at that time. In summary, dominance–submission (including Master–slave relationships), topping–bottoming, sadism–masochism, and switching are specific terms that reflect different aspects of BDSM relationships. A player may identify primar- ily with either just one designation or more.

Additional Descriptions and Basic Terminology

Besides different types of players, there are other BDSM terms that clinicians in the area of sexuality should know. Vanilla or vanilla sex refers to con- ventional, or non-BDSM, sexuality. Sometimes it is used to refer to a person outside the BDSM lifestyle. Safe words are specific words agreed upon be- fore play that will instantly stop a scene. Either participant is free to end the scene at any time. Many players follow the “red-yellow-green” approach, where red means stop—the scene needs to end immediately, yellow means the person is approaching his or her limit, and green means, of course, to continue. Checking in refers to the dominant or top making sure the submis- sive or bottom is both physically and psychologically okay during a scene. For example, the dominant or top periodically may ask if their partner is at green or yellow.

Toys are instruments that may be used in play, such as dildos, paddles, whips, handcuffs, masks, etc. The terms light and heavy describe the intensity of scenes and players. For example, heavy masochists enjoy pain intensities that most players cannot tolerate, such as canings or single-tailed whippings. Canings and intense whippings are performed by very experienced players and can leave welts, small cuts, and bruises, but these are generally consid- ered acceptable as long as these marks can heal on their own. Some heavy masochists are proud of their markings following a scene. “Torture” refers to pain or extreme sensations safely applied to a part of the body—for example, CBT stands for cock and ball torture, while NT is short for nipple torture. The dungeon or playroom is a room or space, usually with special equipment, that is set up for BDSM play. At play parties, a dungeon monitor or DM

Overview of Sadomasochism 339

is a person with considerable BDSM experience who monitors scenes and makes sure that protocol is followed and play remains safe. At such events, all participants are expected to be respectful of others at all times.

BDSM play can be physically and/or psychologically demanding. It re- quires tremendous trust by both dominant (or top) and submissive (or bot- tom) and the emotional connection during play is often very powerful. Play starts very slowly during a scene and gradually builds in intensity. Sometimes those who are bottoming during a scene reach a point where their own en- dorphins produce a powerful natural high, called subspace. When the scene is finished, the dominant (top) comforts and holds her or his courageous partner, and an intimate connection is savored and strengthened during this period of aftercare. Baldwin (2003) likes to use the analogy of music to de- scribe the interaction between dominant and submissive (top/bottom) during a scene, “The Top is the performer and the bottom (is) the instrument from which the performer tries to extract the most beautiful and satisfying ‘music”’ (p. 121). Therapists should be aware that dominant–submissive relationships, particularly those that are long term, may be characterized by levels of trust, intimacy, and sharing that may be unmatched by many conventional rela- tionships. For example, because of such high relationship trust and intimacy, the grieving process for a submissive or slave can be complicated at the death of his or her dominant. Unfortunately, many people in such situations undoubtedly do not seek professional help for fear of being misunderstood by well-meaning, but perhaps uninformed, clinicians.

SUMMARY OF RESEARCH ON BDSM

Although it may be common to assume BDSM participants are psychosocially maladjusted, many have been found to be well-educated and well-adjusted (Allison, Santilla, Sandnabba, & Nordling, 2001; Baumeister, 1988; Moser & Levitt, 1987; Sandnabba, Santilla, & Nordling, 1999; Sandnabba, et al., 2002). Indeed, in their study of 164 Finnish men who were members of BDSM clubs, Sandnabba and colleagues (1999) found that 38% of their sample had a university education, compared to less than 6% in the general popula- tion. Also, participants earned a higher monthly income (24% over $3001 US) compared to the general population (13.6%). Another study found that a sample of BDSM participants had attachment style distributions similar to distributions obtained in general adult samples; although there were some differences between males with sadistic, compared to masochistic, prefer- ences (Santilla, Sandnabba, & Nordling, 2000). Finally, a study investigating recollections of childhood sexual abuse among BDSM participants found that 23% of female respondents and 8% of male respondents had experienced sexual abuse (Nordling, Sandnabba, & Santilla, 2000).

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Research suggests that BDSM participants appear to be “normal.” Over a decade ago, Baumeister (1991) wrote that available evidence had discredited “the stereotype of a highly deviant individual with serious emotional prob- lems or low self-esteem, or someone full of guilt and resultant self destructive urges” (p. 119). He added that:

Masochism does not appear to be associated with mental illness or emo- tional disturbance. All signs indicate that masochists are surprisingly normal people apart from their admittedly deviant sex lives. Nor does masochism appear to be part of a deviant or maladaptive lifestyle; in- stead, it tends to go with an otherwise normal and healthy psyche.

Consistent with much of the scholarly literature, Baumeister addressed “masochism” although it is quite clear that the D/s theme is included within masochism in his discussion. In her review, Haymore (2002) also reported that studies describe self-identified BDSM participants as well-adjusted and sexually creative individuals who make safety and consensuality their main priorities.

A recent review of demographic characteristics associated with BDSM showed that participants, on average, desired six sessions of play per month (Sandnabba et al., 2002). According to that study, most participants still en- gaged in vanilla sex, play generally is not associated with simultaneous sub- stance abuse, flagellation and bondage are the most popular activities, but there are some differences in preferences between heterosexual and homo- sexual male participants. Gay males tended to prefer activities with leather outfits, anal sex, dildos, and wrestling; while heterosexual males more often enjoyed scenes with humiliation, blindfolds and masks, gags, rubber outfits, cane whipping, vaginal intercourse, cross-dressing, and straight jackets.

Existing research suggests that BDSM is not associated with clinical pathology. Baumeister (1991) noted, “Probably the most important point is that sexual masochism appears to be more common among successful, indi- vidualistic people” (p. 120). According to Baumeister, such unconventional behaviors seem to be a way to temporarily escape from the Self. Indeed, we live in a fast-paced society with high stress and many demands, but also re- strictions, on different aspects of our identities. Perhaps BDSM play is a safe way for many individuals to creatively escape, whether it be through means such as letting go of control (submission), experiencing pain or extreme sensation (focus on the body and/or natural endorphin rush), or temporarily become a different identity (fantasy/role play).

BDSM AS LEISURE

We have noted that BDSM episodes are called play, and that the term play is addressed in the leisure studies literature (e.g., Kelly, 1990). Like BDSM, the

Overview of Sadomasochism 341

concept of leisure is difficult to define and various definitions may emphasize one or more of the following elements: behavior, setting, time, psychological state, autonomy, motivational orientation, or inner experience (Mannell & Kleiber, 1997). By considering these components, BDSM naturally falls within the designation of leisure.

Stebbins (1997, 1999) has contrasted casual leisure with serious leisure. According to him, casual leisure is largely a matter of personal per- spective, and can be defined as “immediately rewarding, relatively short- lived pleasurable activity requiring little or no special training to enjoy it” (1997, p. 18). He also describes casual leisure as “doing what comes naturally” (p. 18) and includes play as a particular type. It would ap- pear that vanilla sex and some forms of BDSM (particularly lighter vari- eties) would qualify as casual leisure—for example, when a couple feels “horny” and spontaneously heads to the bedroom for some immediate enjoyment.

In contrast, serious leisure has the following qualities: the need to per- severe; being career-like (e.g., having stages and turning points); requiring significant personal effort based on acquired knowledge, training or skill; providing durable benefits or rewards (i.e., belongingness, self-expression, self-actualization); identifying with and finding a distinctive identity in the activity; and having a unique ethos and social world (Stebbins, 1999, p. 71). BDSM as a lifestyle includes each of these qualities, and may be viewed as serious leisure, similar to other pursuits such as mountain climbing, sea- kayaking, or photography.

Deviant leisure is also a subset of leisure studies, and a deviant leisure typology recently has been developed, although there seems to be con- siderable overlap between constructs (Williams & Walker, 2006). Deviant leisure may have multiple dimensions: casual or serious, tolerable or in- tolerable, legitimate or criminal. It should be remembered that these des- ignations are still somewhat murky and are dependent on the time pe- riod, political influence, and culture. In North American society, the BDSM lifestyle perhaps would be described as being serious and tolerable forms of deviance. Criminality or legitimacy would depend on specific behav- iors and existing laws, although many such laws are not enforced (hence tolerable designation). For example, in some places in North America, parents legally may spank their child, but consensually spanking each other could be considered a form of assault. The diversity of BDSM likely crosses multiple designations, perhaps least applicable (although it likely ex- ists) would be a serious-intolerable-criminal category. Once again, safety, empathy and mutual consent are standards of the BDSM community. A consideration of BDSM as forms of leisure may be useful for helping clin- icians make sense of specific client behaviors in a social and motivational context.

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BDSM AS PATHOLOGY

Sexual sadism and sexual masochism are included as paraphilias, and thus are classified as pathology, within the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV, American Psychiatric Association, 1994). For some clinicians, this simple classification may be enough to justify labeling BDSM as pathological. However, several scholars have recently challenged whether gender identity disorders and paraphilias are actual mental disorders. For example, Green (2002) illustrated that sexual attraction and child adult sex (pedophilia) have been normal within various cultures at different times and places. His view is not that such behaviors should be acceptable in our society, and his argument certainly should not be misconstrued to assume that he condones such behaviors or wishes that legal parameters be changed. Rather, he convincingly concludes that pedophilia does not warrant being classified as a mental disorder.

Similar criticisms have been made of other sexual and gender disorders, including sexual sadism and masochism (Moser & Kleinplatz, 2006), and the issue currently is being debated (Karasic & Drescher, 2006). Again, the issue is not whether or not certain behaviors are morally okay, but whether or not certain behavioral patterns warrant inclusion as legitimate mental disor- ders based on solid empirical evidence and scientific inquiry. As has been pointed out, the evidence supporting BDSM as being objectively and nec- essarily pathological is lacking. To the contrary, the available evidence sug- gests BDSM participants generally are healthy, educated, well-adjusted and successful. However, it is unfortunate that many participants must remain silent about their lifestyles for fear that misperceptions, cultural and religious biases and judgments by others could lead to severe problems in social and occupational functioning.

Assessment for Addiction and Extreme Cases

Indeed, assessing if and how a person’s behavioral patterns disrupt “healthy” or “normal” social functioning is a difficult task. People’s lives are varied and complex, and individuals have different needs, values, priorities and lifestyles. We influence those close to us in different ways. Clinicians may wonder how to discern when BDSM may be healthy and safe, and when it may be addictive and destructive. This is a good question without an easy answer, but some avenues for therapists to explore are offered.

First, clinicians should be well aware of their own morals, values and perceptions about BDSM and realize that these may or may not differ from those of their clients. It should be noted that often times, both client and clinician have the same values, but these may be expressed differently. It may be helpful for the clinician to review his or her professional code of ethics, simply to be mindful of the goals and standards of the profession and

Overview of Sadomasochism 343

to gain insights into how to effectively help this client, who perhaps presents some issues or circumstances that are not typically encountered. However, as professionals we are obligated to treat all human beings in much the same way—with dignity and respect—and we want to nurture relationship qualities that strengthen the therapeutic alliance, such as warmth and empathy.

Specifically, therapists should thoroughly consider the various multiple ways in which BDSM impacts various aspects of clients’ lives. What are the motivations and benefits that occur? Do there seem to be positive or ther- apeutic effects? What are the costs? Negatives? Are activities physically and psychologically safe and consensual according to standards of the BDSM community? In other words, is the client educated and committed to prac- ticing safe (BDSM) sex? What needs and values does this client (and his or her loved ones) have? How might participation be a creative expression of this individual? What are the client’s history and behavioral patterns around BDSM, and have there been significant changes in these patterns that impact the client’s life? Does the client sufficiently attend to other primary responsi- bilities? Is BDSM simply a form of tolerable serious leisure, or has it become intolerable due to safety considerations, or progressed to a full-blown ad- diction? Therapist and client can discuss these questions and responses, and hopefully come to a better understanding of what might constitute healthy or unhealthy sexuality for the specific case.

Finally, some cases clearly may be easier than others to accept, generally, as being highly problematic. Erotic (and autoerotic) asphyxia or hypoxyphilia (breath play) may result in death, yet may be practiced by individuals with diverse demographic characteristics (Cooper, 1996; Johnstone & Huws, 1997). In his popular introductory book, SM101, Wiseman (1996) wrote that after consultation with numerous physicians and medical personnel, his stance is that breath play is always unsafe. However, undoubtedly there remain those who practice this activity, despite its risks.

Shiwach and Prosser (1998) reported a case where a masochist had fantasies of being crushed or burned. This client narrowly escaped death on several occasions by hiding in refuse collecting trucks and masturbating before narrowly escaping. He had been arrested several times for climbing into hazardous waste incinerators and once had incurred a broken pelvis from deliberate exposure to a box compactor. Clearly, most experts would agree that acting out fantasies in these dangerous situations posed a significant risk of severe physical harm and death, not to mention being illegal.

CONCLUSION

BDSM is a complicated phenomenon, difficult to define, and can be hard for many people to understand. It can be viewed as engagement in a set of certain behaviors that are generally associated with eroticism or sexuality, at

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least for some, and it also refers to a lifestyle and subculture based around participation in such behaviors. People may choose to participate or not participate in different sexual practices for a variety of important reasons. As a lifestyle, BDSM has its own terminology, standards, and norms, and central to its community is an emphasis on physical and psychological safety and mutual consent. Different aspects of BDSM, overall, may be considered casual or serious forms of tolerable deviant leisure.

It is necessary for professionals who work in the area of human sexuality to become familiar with the basics of BDSM. Hopefully, this article serves as a somewhat useful overview, and a number of introductory books and articles have been cited herein for those who wish to learn more. There are many who engage in such practices, and these people deserve to be understood and to have access to professional services when needed, without fear or hesitation. Certainly, if our organization is about the “advancement of sexual health,” we need to continue to include this topic in our training repertoire, and we should consider the real possibility that both healthy and addictive sexuality can exist in a number of different relationship structures, includ- ing alternative lifestyles such as BDSM. In some ways, the BDSM community appears to be in a similar societal position where the gay and lesbian commu- nities were just a few decades ago. Although sexual sadomasochism remains in the DSM-IV as a mental disorder, the diagnostic criteria are not clear and not particularly helpful in warranting the classification of pathology. When considering the literature on BDSM, clinicians are left on their own to sift through why and how these practices may help or hinder client functioning. As Rubin (1993, p. 13) observed, in a clinical sense, sadomasochism remains in the “outer limits” (bad, abnormal, unnatural, damned)—contrasted from the “charmed circle”(good, normal, natural, blessed) of the sexual hierarchy.

People who engage in BDSM practices may, indeed, prefer different forms of sensory and/or psychological experiences, but they are still peo- ple with common needs and values that human beings share. It should be remembered that “deviant” means different from a norm—not necessarily dysfunctional. Existing research runs counter to stereotypes of BDSM par- ticipants as being dangerous, mentally unstable, and poorly adjusted. Con- versely, BDSM participants appear to be normal in most aspects of their lives—perhaps this partly explains why BDSM is so difficult for many to un- derstand. Nevertheless, human beings live unique, varied, and complex lives. Such diversification keeps us mindful of the beauty, richness, and unlimited potential of human experience. Different strokes for different folks!

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