Answer all four questions
Interpersonal Messages Fourth Edition Joseph A. DeVito
Chapter 4
Listening in Interpersonal Communication
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Chapter Objectives After reading this chapter, you should be able to:
4.1 Define listening and its five stages and describe the ways you can increase listening accuracy at each of these stages.
4.2 Describe the four major barriers to effective listening, and explain how you can improve effectiveness in your own listening.
4.3 Define the four style of listening and explain how each may be used effectively.
4.4 Explain the major cultural and gender differences found in listening and their influence on interpersonal listening.
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The Stages of Listening (1 of 6) 4.1 Define listening and its five stages and describe the ways you can increase listening accuracy at each of these stages.
Five Stages of Listening
Receiving
Understanding
Remembering
Evaluating
Responding
Figure 4.1 The Five Stages of Listening
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The Stages of Listening (2 of 6)
Receiving
Speakers send both verbal and nonverbal messages
Receive messages more effectively by:
Focusing attention
Eliminating interruptions
Avoiding assumptions
Improving communication between people with and without hearing disorders
Set up a comfortable context
Avoid overlapping speech
Use common terms
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VIEWPOINTS Hedging
Research shows that hedging reflects negatively on both male and female speakers when it indicates a lack of certainty or conviction resulting from some inadequacy on the speaker’s part (Pearson, West, & Turner, 1995). The hedging will be more positively received, however, if listeners feel it reflects the speaker’s belief that tentative statements are the only kinds a person can reasonably make.
What have your experiences been with hedging? How do you respond when someone uses a hedge? How do others respond when you use hedges?
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The Stages of Listening (3 of 6)
Understanding
For better understanding:
Consider the speaker’s point of view
Rephrase or paraphrase
Ask questions
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The Stages of Listening (4 of 6)
Remembering
Effective listening involves ability to recall details
Short-term memory
Long-term memory
Strengthening long-term memory
Focus on central ideas
Organize and categorize
Unite new and old information
Repeat names and key concepts
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short-term memory: the memory you use to remember information you need immediately or temporarily
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VIEWPOINTS False Memory Syndrome
The term false memory syndrome refers to a phenomenon in which you “remember” past experiences that never actually occurred (Loftus, 2004), a situation depicted here from the 1995 movie Indictment: The McMartin Trial. Most of the studies of false memory syndrome have focused on erroneous recollections of abuse and other traumatic experiences. Sometimes these false memories are implanted by therapists and interviewers, whose persistent questioning over a period of time can create such a realistic scenario that you come to believe these things actually occurred (Porter, Brit, Yuille, & Lehman, 2000).
In what other ways can false memory syndrome occur and create problems?
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false memory syndrome: refers to a phenomenon in which you “remember” past experiences that never actually occurred
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The Stages of Listening (5 of 6)
Evaluating
Judging messages in some way
Evaluate effectively by:
Avoid evaluating until you understand the speaker’s point of view
Assume the speaker is a person of goodwill
Distinguish facts from opinions
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The Stages of Listening (6 of 6)
Responding
Occurs in two forms:
Responses made while the speaker is talking (backchanneling cues)
Responses made after the speaker has stopped talking
Express support and understanding
Use varied cues that say “I’m listening”
Use your own responses
Avoid the common problem-causing listening responses
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backchanneling cues: messages (words and gestures) that let the speaker know you’re paying attention, as when you nod in agreement or say, “I see” or “Uh-huh.”
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Listening Barriers (1 of 4) 4.2 Describe the four major barriers to effective listening, and explain how you can improve effectiveness in your own listening.
Distractions: Physical and Mental
Physical barriers include hearing impairment, noisy environment, or loud music
Mental distractions include distracting thoughts
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Listening Barriers (2 of 4)
Biases and Prejudices
You hear what the speaker is saying through stereotypes
Occurs in a wide variety of situations
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Listening Barriers (3 of 4)
Lack of Appropriate Focus
Stay focused on main ideas
Wait until the speaker is finished before formulating a response
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Listening Barriers (4 of 4)
Premature Judgment
Assuming you know what the speaker is going to say
Drawing conclusions or judgments on incomplete evidence
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VIEWPOINTS Listening Barriers
The four barriers discussed here are certainly not the only ones that get in the way of effective listening.
What other types of barriers can you identify?
Put differently, in what types of interpersonal situations do you have difficulty listening?
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Four Listening Styles (1 of 5) 4.3 Define the four styles of listening and explain how each may be used effectively
Listening is situational
Adjust listening based on:
Your purposes
Your knowledge of an relationship to the other person
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Four Listening Styles (2 of 5)
Empathic Listening
Important to adjust your empathic and objective focus
Be careful to avoid creating “dividing lines” or losing control over your feelings
Do:
See from the speaker’s point of view
Engage in equal, two-way conversation
Seek to understand thoughts and feelings
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empathic listening: to understand on an emotional level the meanings of the other person
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Four Listening Styles (3 of 5)
Polite Listening
Often thought of as exclusive function of speaker
May also be signaled through listening
Supporting speaker’s positive and negative face needs include:
Avoid interrupting the speaker
Give supportive listening clues
Show empathy with speaker
Maintain eye contact
Give positive feedback
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polite listening: to be supportive and encourage the speaker to communicate
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Four Listening Styles (4 of 5)
Critical Listening
Exercise critical evaluation or judgment
Keep an open mind
Avoid filtering out or oversimplifying complex messages
Recognize your own biases
Combat the tendency to sharpen
Focus on both verbal and nonverbal messages
Watch out for language fallacies
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critical listening: to separate truth from falsehood, accuracy from inaccuracy
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VIEWPOINTS Politeness in Social Media
Much of the thinking and research on listening and politeness has focused on them as face-to-face communication skills.
How would you describe listening politeness on the phone or on social network sites? Are the same principles applicable, or do we need an entirely different set to describe social networking listening politeness?
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Four Listening Styles (5 of 5)
Active Listening
One of most important communication skills
Functions:
Check understanding
Acknowledge and accept speaker’s feelings
Stimulates speaker to explore feelings and thoughts
Techniques of active listening
Paraphrase the speaker’s meaning
Express understanding of the speaker’s feelings
Ask questions
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active listening: to check your understanding, to acknowledge your acceptance of the other person’s feelings, and to stimulate the speaker to talk about as needed
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Listening, Culture, and Gender (1 of 2) 4.4 Explain the major cultural and gender differences found in listening and their influence on interpersonal listening
Culture and Listening
Culture in which you were raised will influence listening in:
Language and speech (idolect)
Direct and indirect speech
Accents
Nonverbal differences (display rules)
Feedback
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direct speech: say what you mean and mean what you say
indirect speech: emphasizes politeness and maintaining a positive public image rather than literal truth
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VIEWPOINTS Gender Differences
A popular belief is that men listen in the way they do to prove themselves superior and that women listen as they do to ingratiate themselves. Although there is no evidence to show that these beliefs are valid, they persist in the assumptions that people make.
What do you believe accounts for the differences in the way men and women listen?
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Listening, Culture, and Gender (2 of 2)
Gender and Listening
Men and women learn different styles of listening
Rapport and report talk
Listening cues
Amounts and purposes of listening
Gender differences are changing rapidly
Differences outnumbered by similarities
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