English final paper 1600-2000 words

Introduction, Outline and Thesis Statement

Millie Ni

Engl 135 A03

Thesis Statement

Preliminary thesis: It is been shown that teenage depression has

increased by 59% between 2007 and 2017, the potential causes

include dietary patterns, social media influence and high social and

academic expectations. (Geiger, A., & Davis, L., 2020)

Revised statement: It has been shown that teenage depression has

increased by 59% between 2007 and 2017. (Geiger, A., & Davis, L.,

2020) Potential causes for depression among teenagers include

dietary patterns, social media influence, societal and academic

pressures, and hormonal changes.

Introduction

Teenage depression has been a problem prevalent in our society for

a long time and is recently gaining more and more attention.

According to research, since 2007, it has increased by almost 60%

and is on a constant rise (Bowes, 2015). Unhealthy diets and habits

such as fast food and smoking are prevalent in today’s youth and

undoubtedly affects their mental health as well as physical

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health. Research reveals that the transition from middle school to

high school and college correlates with high depressive symptoms

as the academic load increases. Social media sometimes presents

negative influence for teenagers, it may lower their self-esteem and

impact their self-image. It has been shown that teenage depression

has increased by 59% between 2007 and 2017. (Geiger, A., & Davis,

L., 2020) Potential causes for depression among teenagers include

dietary patterns, social media influence, societal and academic

pressures, and hormonal changes. This research paper will be

discussing the whys and wherefores of this matter and aims

to deliver information to teenagers, parents and teachers alike on

what causes it, how to spot it and how to treat it.

Outline

 The primary factor among these come from the victim’s

environment as societal pressures. (Thapar, A. C., 2012, para. 4)

 academic stress

 financial problems

 adverse family conditions

 bullying and peer victimization

 Social media has become a big part in the lives of people today

and has seemed to limit social interaction under the guise of

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increasing it. It is easy to be

 misled by what we see through our device screens

 manipulate how people view our life to be more perfect than

it is

 Observational research conducted on young girls suggested that

use of social media lead to body and life dissatisfaction among

teenagers.

 Depression is associated with diet restrain or body

dissatisfaction. (Johnson, F., & Wardle, J., 2005, para. 7)

 Hormonal change during puberty potentially cause more

depressed teenagers

 Change in hormones in puberty promotes depression-related

behaviours (Boivin, J. R., Piekarski, D. J., Wahlberg, J. K., &

Wilbrecht, L., 2017, 4. Discussion)

 Research has proven that during puberty testosterone and

estrogen levels rise dramatically, which make teenagers

vulnerable to depression (DiMaria, 2020).

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References

Boivin, J. R., Piekarski, D. J., Wahlberg, J. K., & Wilbrecht, L. (2017).

Age, sex, and gonadal hormones differently influence anxiety-

and depression-related behavior during puberty in

mice. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 85, 78-87.

doi:10.1016/j.psyneuen.2017.08.009

Bowes, L. J. (2015). Peer victimization during adolescence and its

impact on depression in early adulthood: Prospective cohort

study in the United Kingdom. BMJ: British Medical Journal, 350.

DiMaria, L. (2020). Depression during Puberty. Verywellmind.com:

https://www.verywellmind.com/depression-during-puberty-

1067561

Johnson, F., & Wardle, J. (2005). Dietary restraint, body

dissatisfaction, and psychological distress: A prospective

analysis. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 114(1), 119-125.

doi:10.1037/0021-843X.114.1.119

Thapar, A. C. (2012). Depression in adolescence. Lancet (London,

England),, 379(9820), 1056–1067.

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Index of comments

1.1 Needs proper assignment format.

1.2 Good, but put the citation inside the period.

1.3 Therefore... what? You stated the problem and the causes... what do you want the audience to do about it? Do you have a solution? Do you offer suggested course of actions?

1.4 Where? Canada? Worldwide?

2.1 rephrase and put here.

2.2 Citation. This is a claim.

2.3 Needs a transition. Going from school to social media without a proper transition is a bit jarring.

2.4 Informal and vague. "the reasons"

3.1 Not sure what you mean

3.2 These are a lot of different subjects. I am worried that you will not be able to cover all the topic sufficiently in such a short paper.

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