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CouplesConflictWellnessandSpillover.pdf
4/25/22
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The Family and the Child: A Psychological View
Psych 441 UMass Boston
Professor Peggy Vaughan Spring 2022
Family Functioning and Couple Functioning: Couple Conflict, Family Conflict and Wellness
and the Spillover Effect
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Topics � Couple Communication
� Conflict: Impacts on Children
� Couple Wellness and Needed Intervention
� Conflict: Domestic and Marital
� Spillover
� Problem-solving; healing; protection and growth
� Domestic Abuse; Intimate Partner Violence
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Considerations for Couples Communication, Wellness and Conflict
� In and out of the context of marriage or couplehood, what do the content, style, gestures, and non-verbal behaviors reveal about couple intimacy and marital wellness or conflict?
� When is there a need for attention to the relationship issues?
� When is there a need for therapeutic intervention?
� In what ways can couple or marital quality (including couple and marital conflict) impact the children?
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Thinking and Feeling Together
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Conflict in Marriage and Couplehood: Impacts on Couples and their Children
� Common areas: Examples?
� Sources and Influences: Examples?
� Various factors work to influence, shape and/or manage conflict.
� What are the effects of spillover? Can spillover be positive and negative?
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Domestic and Marital/Couple Conflict
� Conflict is a source of stress in the marital/couple system
� Common complaints and tensions may extend to deeper levels or more serious areas
� Common areas � Lack of time together � Child rearing � Sexual tension
� Financial struggles
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Key Issues � Your Ideas?
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Couple Distress Sample Guiding Theories
� Polarization Model: Magnifies and exaggerates the causes of marital distress. Lack of success in efforts for helping the relationship leads to hopelessness
� Demand/Withdraw Interaction Pattern
� Perception Accuracy Theory
� Disillusionment Model
� Empathy Based Theory � Perception-Action Model of Empathy � Empathic Accuracy Model
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Conflict Properties (Fine and Fincham, p. 170)
� Frequency
� Severity
� Degree of Resolution
� Content
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Conflict Processes � Demand/Withdraw: Related to repeated requests for
change
� Reciprocity and Negativity: Related to how partner’s respond to each other’s negative behavior?
� Mutual Coercion: Related to patterns of negative escalation
� Consequences of Conflict: Related to interdependence � While conflict is a dynamic occurring within families or
couples, internal processes of each family member influence conflict as well.
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Managing Conflict � Conflict-management goals
� Linked to interactions � Maintaining and enhancing intimacy Related Goals and Actions � Avoidance of conflict � Elimination of conflict � Metamessages linked to conflict � Pseudomutuality (facade)
� WINNING AT ALL COSTS! � Power distribution aspects � Negotiated power – legitimate and non-legitimate
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Managing Conflict � Framing and Causality
� Meaning of certain behaviors � How these actions or behaviors are framed or
managed � Searching for causes
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Conflict Management (John Gottman and colleagues)
Negativity Processes in Unsuccessful Couples
� FOUR HORSEMAN OF THE APACLYPSE
� Criticism
� Defensiveness � Contempt
� Stonewalling
� Distressed couples engage in these more than typical couples
� Relationships become fragile when these processes or ways of thinking and relating create distance
� Gottman suggests that a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative experiences may provide a buffering effect.
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing- criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/
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Fragile Couples � Emotional disengagement: partner (s) show a lack
of positive affect, interest, affection and concern
� Flooding: overwhelmed physically and emotionally -- leading to self-preservation
� Pattern of negative reciprocity: leading to negative escalation; hurtful, getting back at partner
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What are the Sources of Couple Conflict?
� EXPECTATIONS � Beliefs � Roles, (work, parenting, household tasks)
� Decision making styles
� COMPETING NEEDS � Connectedness, Separateness, balancing the demands
for time. � Negotiation
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What are the Sources of Couple Conflict?
� Views of fairness and equity � Costs and rewards � What partner puts in; what they receive � Comparisons
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Domestic and Marital Conflict � Common Influences
� In-laws or extended family � Children and parental caregiving tasks
� Prior painful events or memories surfacing � Personal and family stressors
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Conflict in “Content” or “Adjusted” Couples
� Couples can have a predominant style for managing conflict
� Matched styles in couples may mean they are better regulated
� Regulated styles (Gottman) � Validating couple: constructive style; low negativity. � Volatile couple: intense emotion, confrontation, but
manage to maintain intimacy and connection. � Conflict-minimizing couple: avoid conflict; live with
painful yet solvable problems; however, they can sustain a sense of intimacy and cohesion.
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Relationship Satisfaction � With same sex couples, there are few differences in
comparison to heterosexual couples as far as relationship satisfaction.
� Satisfaction is linked to similarity in attitudes and values.
� Argue at similar rates about the same topics including money (finances), sex, partner criticism and household tasks.
� Pursue same strategies for conflict resolution: negotiation, compromise, etc.
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Same-Sex Couple Research � A 12-year long study by the Gottman Institute examines
the differences between how same-sex couples and different-sex couples resolve conflicts.
� Overall, the relationship satisfaction and quality were about the same across all couple types (gay, straight, lesbian). However, the study did find some differences in how same-sex and different-sex couples argue, including using humor to diffuse tense situations, not taking things so personally during an argument, and offering encouragement rather than criticism.
� No matter the relationship, there are key points to be taken away from this research in how we can all strive for healthier conflict resolution in romantic relationships.
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Couple Research Differences � “Gay/lesbian couples are more upbeat in the face of
conflict. Compared to straight couples, gay and lesbian couples use more affection and humor when they bring up a disagreement, and partners are more positive in how they receive it. Gay and lesbian couples are also more likely to remain positive after a disagreement.”
� “When it comes to emotions, we think these couples may operate with very different principles than straight couples. Straight couples may have a lot to learn from gay and lesbian relationships,” (Direct quotes by John Gottman from the Gottman Institute website: https://www.gottman.com/about/research/same-sex- couples/)
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Family Conflict � Factors to consider
� Incompatibility of goals � Role fulfillment
� Frequency of conflicts; both marital and family
� Conflict can lead to the need for negotiation emerging and disparate goals (Fine and Fincham, p.169).
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Children’s Responses to Everyday Marital Conflict Tactics in the Home*
� What are your ideas about children’s reactions to conflict?
� What scenarios create stress?
� What symptoms or behaviors do we see in children?
Cummings, E.M., Goeke-Morey, M.C., & Papp L.M. (2003). Children’s responses to everyday marital conflict tactics in the home. Child Development, 74, 6, 1918-1929.
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Everyday Marital Conflict and Children Significant Early Research (Cummings, et al.,2003)
� Exposure to marital conflict increases children’s risk for adjustment problems.
� Numerous clinical, developmental and educational studies indicate that marital conflict is an important family process influencing child development.
� Due to ethical and practical considerations, children’s reactions in the home have seldom been documented. In addition, researchers have often focused on marital violence and hostility, providing possibly an overly negative view of the impact of typical, everyday marital conflicts.
� Cummings, et al. relied on a new parent-report methodology for documenting children’s reactions to a wide range of everyday marital conflict tactics in the home
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Cummings, et al.(2003) � Results supported findings of past studies that relied on
questionnaires or laboratory methodologies. Based on over 1638 reports of marital conflicts and children’s reactions, simple exposure to some everyday marital conflict behaviors is distressing for children.
� There is a category of destructive conflict tactics from children’s perspective � parents’ verbal hostility (yelling) � threats (of violence, leaving) � personal insults, nonverbal hostility (angry body language) � defensiveness, marital withdrawal (silent treatment � physical distress (trembling, crying).
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Constructive Conflict Approaches � Cummings et. al. identify a category of constructive
conflict approaches from the children’s perspective. � Children reportedly felt happy after seeing their
parents discuss issues calmly, show support for one another (listen, try to understand), and maintain affection (hold hands).
� This suggests that exposure to parents’ conflicts that are handled constructively may actually increase children’s emotional security and help them feel better about themselves and their families.
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Children's Vulnerability to Interparental Conflict: The Protective Role of Sibling Relationship Quality (2019).
Davies, P., Parry, L., Bascoe, S., Martin, M. & Cummings, E.M.
� Research has continued in the area of the impact of marital and interparental conflict on children.
� Children who witness recurrent destructive interparental conflict characterized by hostility, negative escalation, and difficulties resolving disagreements are at increased risk for experiencing externalizing, internalizing, and attention difficulties
� This three-wave longitudinal study had the goal to investigate and examine sibling relationship quality as a protective factor that interrupts the harmful and potentially pathogenic processes underpinning children’s vulnerability to interparental conflict.
� High-quality (i.e., strong) sibling relationships conferred protection by neutralizing interparental conflict as a precursor of increases in adolescent insecurity.
� Interparental conflict, insecurity, and psychological problems were significant for teens with low, but not high, quality bonds with siblings.
� Guided by Emotional Security Theory (EST; Davies & Cummings, 1994), the authors examined whether sibling relationship processes moderate the mediational role of children’s emotional insecurity in the prospective association between interparental conflict and children’s psychopathology. As a prevailing explanatory model, EST proposes that children’s insecurity in the interparental relationship mediates the risk interparental conflict poses for them.
� Consistent with other sibling studies. having a strong sibling relationship may provide teens with protection and emotional support under adverse social conditions such as exposure to interparental conflict..
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Child’s Experience
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Considerations and Recommendations
� An important issue for parents, practitioners and others concerned with the well- being of children and families is how parents can better handle everyday differences for the sake of the children.
� All conflict is not the same, but the way parents negotiate everyday differences can have enriching, or negative, influences on by-standing children.
� Cummings et al. conclude that educating parents about more effective and constructive ways to handle differences may foster increased family harmony and reduce the risk for child adjustment problems
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The Marital Relationship: Impact on Parent-Child Relationships
� The spillover hypothesis, posits that emotions and behavioral patterns that typify the marital relationship will bleed into the parent–child relationship (Enger, 1988), in a way that health of the marriage causally influences parent–child relationship quality. Stroud C. B., Durbin C. E., Wilson, S. & Mendelsohn, K.A. (2011). Spillover to triadic and dyadic systems in families with young children. Journal of Family Psychology, 25 (6), 919- 930.
� Note: Spillover theory is often referred to in terms of emotion transmission. The spillover concept is applied in several family contexts. This article reflects research based on system theory aspects of the spillover hypothesis. See Fine & Fincham, 2013, p.174. There are other references to spillover linked to work-family, etc.
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Spillover Theories � Cognitions and emotions from one domain transfer
to another domain
� Original developed to examine work-family spillover
� How do experiences at home inform and/or influence experiences at work and vice-versa.
� Crossover and emotion transmission � Stress from one family member spilling over to
another family member, often thought of as negative. Positive emotions can be transmitted but negative emotions are more “contagious”.
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Dyadic and Triadic Parenting � Stroud, Durbin, Wilson and Mendelsohn (2011)
explored associations with multiple positive and negative aspects of each family sub-system (mother- child and father-child dyad or mother-father-child- triad).
� Methodology: multiple measures and methods (self- report and observational coding), and multiple reporters (self- and other- report) as indicators of family functioning.
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Hypothesis � Guiding theory and related literature
� Study is based in Family Systems theory and builds from prior family-child research studies
� Hypotheses: � Adaptive marital functioning would be related to both
higher quality parental responsiveness and also children’s responsiveness to fathers and mothers.
� Given evidence consistent with spillover to the triad (e.g., McHale, 1995), the authors predicted associations between adaptive marital functioning and high triadic warmth and low triadic hostility.
� Essentially more warmth among the triad would be associated with lower triadic hostility.
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Sample � Families enrolled N= 168 (148 completed family assessment)
� Children were age 3 to 6.5 years: M = 54.43 months
� 91 males; 77 females.
• Parents: Vast majority were married; 94.8% � Race/Ethnicity: Caucasian, both mothers and fathers, 62%;
Hispanic, mothers, 9.5% and fathers, 8.8%; African American, mothers & fathers, 7.4%; Asian, mothers, 6.1%, fathers, 2.7%, remaining were Native American, bi-or multi- racial or data were missing.
� Mothers’ Age Range: 23 to 52 years, Age M=36.98 � Fathers’ Age Range: 23 to 57 years, Age M = 38.71
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Measures: Examples � Both parent and child responsiveness were assessed
using tasks designed to elicit positive and negative aspects of their relationship.
� Tasks were selected to capture typical parent-child interaction domains, including instruction, discipline, and play.
� These parent-child tasks and were drawn or adapted from previous research.
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Parent Measures
� Parents participated in five discussions designed to elicit important aspects of the marital relationship, including two conflict discussions. The conflict paradigm (used in over 200 studies) elicits naturalistic levels of couples’ expressed and experienced emotions (Foster, Caplan, & Howe, 1997).
� Dyadic Assessment Scale (DAS) (Spanier, 1976): A measure of the severity of relationship discord. Rates areas of disagreement.
� Structural Analysis of Social Behavior (SASB) (Benjamin, 2000). A 32-item self-report measure assessing participants’ perceptions of their own and their partner’s interaction behavior.
� Marital Satisfaction Inventory–Revised (MSI-R; Snyder & Aikman, 1999), a 150-item true-false measure of marital adjustment.
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Sample Dyadic Parent-Child Tasks
� Mother-child tasks were (a) magnet puzzle: collaborate to make a design from geometric shapes; (b) prohibited toys: mother tries to prohibit child from touching appealing toys; and (c) team drawing: collaborate to draw a picture, with each drawing a line connecting to their partner’s previous line.
� Father-child tasks were (a) marble maze: play with a marble maze using blocks; (b) prohibited toys: similar to mother’s task but with different stimuli; and (c) Etch-a-Sketch® maze: father helps child draw an Etch-a-Sketch® line in a maze.
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Triadic Tasks � Tasks included (a) a board game: the family played
a dexterity game together; (b) things with tails: parents used strategies to help their child name “things that have tails”; (c) ball toss game: the family tried to toss small, bouncy balls into buckets spread around the room; and (d) clean up: parents were told to prompt their child to independently clean up all the toys used in the previous tasks.
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Analyses and Coding � Researchers examined the descriptive statistics and the
intercorrelations among the variables used in the structural equation modeling.
� The analysis examined covariance. Covariance provided a measure of the strength of the correlation between sets of variables (given overlap among systems).
� For Tasks: Coders rated the overall quality of the parent’s or child’s responsiveness across the entire task using a Likert scale ranging from 1 (highly unresponsive) to 6 (highly responsive). Ratings were based on several aspects of 1) sensitivity–insensitivity, 2) acceptance– rejection, and 3) cooperation–interference.
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Analyses and Coding � Coding. Triadic tasks were videotaped and coded.
After viewing each task, the quality of all coparenting constructs (such as shared enjoyment, disagreement, etc.) were rated using a 0- 3 point scale (with 0 as never demonstrated the variable and 3 as exhibited multiple instance of the variable.
� Gender differences were examined relying on multi- group models with set parameters within the model..
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Results � Overall, results supported the spillover
hypothesis, but there were gender differences in these effects.
� Findings (refer to the article discussion section)
� ONE EXAMPLE: Spillover effects were equivalent for the most part for girls and boys, with the exception of triadic hostility: Among parents of girls only, more adaptive marital functioning was related to lower levels of hostility in the triad.
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Sample Summary Points � Even though children were equally responsive to their
parents, their responsiveness to their mothers was more strongly linked to their parents’ marital functioning.
� The authors believe that more work is needed to clarify links between the marital relationship and children’s behavior within the parent–child relationship.
� This work can examine whether the greater impact on children’s responsiveness to mothers is specific to children’s responsiveness in terms of their parents’ relationship or extends to other aspects of the parent– child relationship.
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Spillover
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Results � Overall, results supported the spillover hypothesis, but
there were gender differences in these effects.
� Three main findings emerged – refer to discussion section � Among families of girls and boys, spillover of marital quality occurred
to triadic warmth, fathers’ responsiveness, and child responsiveness to their mothers, � There was no evidence of spillover to mothers’ responsiveness or to
child’s responsiveness to fathers. � Spillover effects were significantly stronger for fathers’ responsiveness
(as compared with mothers’ responsiveness), � Spillover effects were significantly stronger for child’s responsiveness to
mothers (as compared with child responsiveness to fathers). � Spillover effects were largely equivalent for girls and boys, with the
exception of triadic hostility: Among parents of girls only, more adaptive marital functioning was related to lower levels of hostility in the triad.
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Summary � Parents’ marital functioning was positively linked to
the degree of positive affect, warmth, and shared enjoyment in the triad even after accounting for spillover effects on the dyadic parent–child system.
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Couples Problem Solving and Transforming
� Acceptance
� Repair
� Turning toward
� Rewriting scripts or the past
� Positive Sentiment Override: emotional climate created when positive beats the negative; based on fondness admiration and ability to look at past events and current issues in a more positive context
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Positive Constructs of Couples and Marriage
� Transforming Marriage: Emerging Trends (Fincham, 2007) � Conflict from center to side stage � Larger meanings, deeper motivations � Cultural context and personal meanings � Changes with and without outside help � Outcomes ---spontaneous remission and self-repair
� Positive psychology and new constructs for all couple relationships (Brainstorm) � Forgiveness � Commitment, attachment, and sacrifice � Sanctification � Healing and wellness
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Child Adjustment: What Factors Relate Children Exposed to Conflict
� Awareness and Timing is Key: Address conflict in constructive and timely ways
� Safety Is Key: Verbal and other forms of reassurance to children that there are adults who want to shield and nurture them and keep them safe.
� Child’s reaction and adjustment: Conflict may impact child well-being and adjustment over time. Children may exhibit problem behaviors (externalizing and internalizing) if repeatedly exposed to unresolved conflict.
� Understanding impact on child � Contentious couple/marital relationships may leave less
time to focus on child needs. � Resilience: Developing and supporting resilience
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When Conflict Leads to Domestic Abuse
� SAFETY is the priority � Psychotherapy: If couple conflict is based in abuse, parents
who have been battered and their children (who have been exposed) can receive therapy together with the goal of increasing the quality of parenting and increasing positive outcomes for children.
� Some abusive parents may be motivated to stop using violence if they understand the devastating effects on their children.
� A safe, stable and nurturing relationship with a caring adult can help a child overcome the stress associated with intimate partner violence.
� https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviol ence/
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Abuse Protection Order .The Massachusetts Abuse Prevention Act defines "abuse" as the occurrence of one or more of the following acts between "family or household members":
� Actual or attempted physical abuse;
� Placing another in fear of serious physical harm; � Causing another to engage involuntarily in sexual relations by force,
threat of force or duress.*
"Family or household members" include: � A spouse or former spouse; � Someone you live with or used to live with;
� A relative by blood or marriage; � The parent of your child; � A person you have or had a substantial dating relationship with.**
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Web Links Children and Conflict/Divorce
� http://extension.missouri.edu/publications/DisplayPub.a spx?P=GH6600
� http://www.aamft.org/families/Consumer_Updates/Child renandDivorce.asp
Violence and Domestic Violence
� http://www.endabuse.org/userfiles/file/Children_and_Fa milies/Children.pdf
� http://www.ncadv.org/aboutus.php
� http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/
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