Comparison

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Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Pearson Tutor Services' Online Writing Center to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Adejoke! I’m Angelica D. I look forward to working with you on this Pearson Tutor Services Essay Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

Note (Message from Prof. Belz): You were asked to use MLA style, but you use APA style even in your text. I am working on grading the research paper rough drafts and noticed you have used the incorrect formatting style in your paper. You have used APA style instead of the required MLA style formatting. English and history disciplines use MLA style. You need to completely 'redo' the in-text citations and the works cited page when you write your final draft of the research paper. The in-text citations should include only the author's last name and the page number in the parenthetical reference after the quote. Do not include commas or a year. For example: (Baker 27). Insert a space between the author's last name and the page number.

*Writing Strength: Adejoke, you do a good job of writing clear topic sentences, like this:

The aspect of an outsider is also present in both essays, where the main characters look like they do not fit with each other.

Well done! This makes the comparisons clear in your discussion.

*Adejoke 13043595 has requested that you respond to the Organization:

Moving on, the orders of the topics in your thesis and discussion have to match. This is the thesis you write:

The two essays "Salvation" and "A Good man is hard to find" demonstrate similar issues such as betrayal, faith, family disorganization, good women, and especially an outsider.

This does not match with your discussion. For example, you preview the theme of betrayal first here but discuss it secondly in your discussion, which might be confusing. This makes the preview or thesis inaccurate as well. If you preview the theme of betrayal first, you have to discuss this first. There are 2 ways to revise. You can revise your thesis or rearrange your body paragraphs to match your thesis.

If you will revise your thesis, you need to preview the theme of being an outsider first, then betrayal, faith and religion, family conflict, and good women.

If you will rearrange your body paragraphs, though, you need to move your second paragraph before your conclusion.

Are you going to revise your thesis or rearrange your body paragraphs?

*Adejoke 13043595 has requested that you respond to the Introduction/Conclusion:

Next, there might be no need to summarize the stories in your conclusion again:

Your conclusion should wrap up your discussion, so no need to go back to the plots of the story again here. You can go straight to the restatement of your thesis. After, instead of summarizing the plots again, you can share your insights about the stories and reinforce the significance of comparing them. Overall, what messages are the two stories trying to deliver? What reflection can you share? Why is it important, insightful, etc. To compare these two works?

You can develop your conclusion like this as you revise.

Grammar & Mechanics Finally, make sure to consistently use the present tense when you are describing the characters, the stories, or what happens in the stories since “Salvation” and “A Good man is Hard to Find” are existing pieces of literature. For example, this is a sentence from your third paragraph:

When Hughes failed to see Jesus in the church, his faith got shuttered, and he also went ahead to lie to his aunt.

You need to use the present tense of the verbs in bold since you describe what happens in the story. The story and the characters will not stop doing what they are doing and the characters will not stop portraying what they are portraying. Most verbs turn in their present tense if you omit the “d” or “ed” like turned--turn while other change in spelling like was-is. What other verbs, then, in your paper have to be in the present tense? There are others in your third paragraph, for example. Summary of Next Steps:

· Match the orders of the topics in your thesis and discussion.

· Develop your conclusion.

· Consistently use the present tense when you are describing the characters, the stories, or what happens in the stor

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review, Adejoke. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day! ~ Angelica D.

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Please look for more comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Pearson Tutor Services! We hope to see you again soon.

Babalola 1

Comparison Essay

Adejoke Babalola

Professor Sarena Belz

English 1302

November 27, 2021

Comparison between “A Good Man is Hard to Find” and “Salvation” Stories

"Salvation" by Langston Hughes is a story about a young Langston and his journey through salvation. The aunt pressures a 12-year-old Hughes to join and become part of a revival to save his life. Hughes explains that his aunt told him with salvation, he would see lights and hear Jesus. During the day of getting saved, Hughes and another child remain at the altar while the rest accept Jesus. In the end, he gets salvation but does not see Jesus, nor does he see any lights and figures that the aunt betrayed him. Hughes goes to bed in tears claiming that there is no Jesus. "A good man is hard to find" by Flannery Connor is about the Grandmother who tries to convince her son's family to avoid going to Florida for a trip because the Misfit has been released from prison. [Try to use the transitions like “on the other hand” here, like this: "Cathedral," on the other hand, is about the theme of sight. Other transitions you can use are furthermore, similarly, in addition, in comparison, thus, and overall. What sentences in your paper can benefit from these transitions?] However, the family fails to adhere to her threats and begins their road trip to Florida, filled with lies and unhelpful events created by the Grandmother. The family meets the Misfit, who shoots all of them, including the Grandmother, his mother. The two essays "Salvation" and "A Good man is hard to find" demonstrate similar issues such as betrayal, faith, family disorganization, good women, and especially an outsider.

The aspect of an outsider is also present in both essays, where the main characters look like they do not fit with each other. An outsider refers to a person that does not belong to a particular group, set, or party. The Grandmother in "A Good man is hard to find" is the definition of an outsider because she does not fit into the group. While everyone is voting for Florida, she wants to go to Tennessee, and she even has to beg her son's wife so they can go there and even carry her cat. "She didn't intend for the cat to be left alone in the house for three days because he would miss her too much, and she was afraid he might brush against one of her gas burners and accidentally asphyxiated himself" (Connor, 2016, 1). In the essay "Salvation," Hughes is the outsider in the congregation of people who have seen and received Jesus in their lives. Hughes had to wake and move towards the pastor even though he had not seen Jesus and the lights as the aunt had described. "Now it was getting late. I began to be ashamed of myself, holding everything up so long" (Hughes, 1995, 2). The outsiders in the two essays are the Grandmother, who does not want to go for a vacation in Florida, and Hughes, who has not received or seen Jesus. Hughes feels ashamed for the position he is in and wonders what God thinks about Westley, who had not seen Jesus.

Betrayal is a common theme between the two essays "Salvation" and "A good man is hard to find." Betrayal refers to breaking down the trust or confidence, which leads to psychological, emotional, or physical conflict in a relationship. In the "Salvation," Hughes feels betrayed by the aunt who had promised him that he would see lights and hear Jesus. "She said you could see and hear and feel Jesus in your soul. I believed her" (Hughes, 1995, 1). When Hughes failed to see Jesus in the church, his faith got shuttered, and he also went ahead to lie to his aunt. The writer also lied to the entire church that he had welcomed the Holy Spirit into his life which was a lie. In "A good man is hard to find," the Grandmother betrays the act and aspect of motherhood by lying to his children and also the Misfit. The Misfit feels betrayed by her and the people who threw him into a penitentiary for his father's death, which he was not involved in (Connor, 2016, 12). When the Grandmother touches him, the Misfit springs back when she recognizes that he is one of her children. Hughes was betrayed by the aunt, while the Misfit was betrayed by his mother, who left him in prison for a long time.

Another common item between the two essays is faith and religion. The theme of faith and religion is widespread in the "Salvation" and "A good man is hard to find" essays. In the former essay, Hughes' aunt believes in God; she pressures him to join a revival where Hughes gets saved and gives his life to Jesus. Hughes (1995) states that while he was waiting for Jesus to show up or hear his voice, the congregation was praying very hard for him (1). [Try to avoid citing consecutively here. Try to add or insert your interpretations and ideas. For example, how does this statement from Hughes further show the theme of faith and religion? What other pieces of information or excerpts do you need to interpret or relate to your analysis?] Later that night, he admits to not believing in Jesus and religion ever again. Hughes's music and poems depict various mechanisms such as phonography and radio, which do not resonate with the church (Brinkman, 2011, 86). The Grandmother in "A good man is hard to find" also demonstrates the faith by asking the Misfit to pray with her every time during their conversation. "Pray, pray," the Grandmother began, "pray, pray . . ." (Connor, 2016, 10). Like Hughes' aunt, the Grandmother believes in Jesus and that he could help people who are sinners. However, like Hughes, the Misfit does not believe in Jesus and questions why he had to rise from the dead and upset the balance of life. Religion is another idea depicted throughout the two essays.

Another comparison between the two essays is family disorganization. Family is the basic unit of society and an essential component of human interaction. The Baily family in "A good man is hard to find" is disorganized from the Grandmother, the son, his wife, and their two children. "The grandmother who has selfishness, the father or Bailey who is not indifferent to his family and his wife, and the children of Bailey who lack manners may be a reason by the emergence of the family organization" (Hani, 2019, 344). The Grandmother does not want to go for a vacation to Florida and tries her best to ruin the trip, which leads to their death after they come across the Misfit. In the "Salvation," family disorganization is demonstrated when Hughes fails to give a picture of a traditional family instead of being raised by his parents; in the narrative, Hughes is raised by her aunt and uncle. The aunt also influences his decision and pressures him to leave his sinful life behind and welcome Jesus into his life. Another example of family disorganization occurs when Hughes lies to his aunt that he has received the Holy Spirit (Hughes, 1995). Family disorganization seems to be another running idea between the two essays.

The women in both essays are depicted as good women with good intentions for the people they love. [Try to answer the question "so what" when necessary. For example, there are many other stories with good female characters, so what if both stories have good women as characters? How are these characters important in the stories? Why are they important to compare?] As a 12-year-old Hughes is raised by her aunt, who seems to be the only female in his life. Aunt Reed has no ill intentions by introducing Hughes into salvation but only wants him to live a better life. She introduces Hughes to Christianity and even pressures him to give his life to Jesus and supports him throughout the entire journey. "Then I was left all alone on the mourners' bench. My aunt came and knelt at my knees and cried, while prayers and song swirled all around me in the little church" (Hughes, 19951). On the other hand, despite having selfish intentions, the Grandmother warns his son and the wife against going to Florida for a vacation because the Misfit has escaped from jail. Her intentions are pure as she tries to keep the family safe and avoid putting them in danger. "A Good Man Is Hard to find" the grandmother "is not pure evil and maybe a medium for Grace." (Zaidman, 2000, 43). When the Misfits' group shouts at her son, she wails and screams her son's name in pain and pure motherly affection. The women in both essays are given a voice and described as protagonists of the narratives, similar to Hurston's approach. "In her fiction, Hurston functions much as Big Sweet does, fending for her female protagonists and ultimately giving them a voice" (Davis, 2007, 2). Women are given caring and better roles, unlike men.

"A good man is hard to find" by Flannery Connor is a story about a family taking a road trip to Florida but never quite making it. The story's protagonist is the Grandmother, who warns the family against going to Florida because the Misfit has escaped from jail. The family fails to listen to her and decide on Florida, which leads to a tragedy for the entire family. "Salvation" Langston Hughes is a short story about a 12-year-old boy whose aunt forces him to get saved, and he will be able to see and feel Jesus. After the salvation process, Hughes does not sense, feel, or see Jesus, prompting him to abandon his faith and declare that there is no Jesus. The idea of an outsider in the two essays is common in the two essays. The Grandmother is an outsider who does not fit well her sons' family while Hughes fails to see Jesus making him believe that Jesus is not real. Other common themes or similarities between the two essays include betrayal, faith, good women, and disorganized family.

Reference

Brinkman, B. (2011). Movies, Modernity, and All that Jazz: Langston Hughes’s “Montage of a Dream Deferred.” African American Review, 44(1/2), 85–96. http://www.jstor.org/stable/41328707 Accessed Nov 2021.

Connor, F. (2016). A good man is hard to find. Faber & Faber. https://eagleonline.hccs.edu/courses/169014/files/30761460?module_item_id=9231665 Accessed Nov 2021.

Davis, D. (2007). The Creation of Psychic Space in Selected Short Fiction of Zora Neale Hurston [Unpublished doctoral dissertation]. The University of Tulsa. https://www.jstor.org/stable/20455329 Accessed Nov 2021.

Dictionary.com https://www.dictionary.com/browse/misfit , https://www.dictionary.com/browse/outsider Accessed Nov 2021.

Hani, M. (2019). Analysis of social problem in a good man is hard to find by Flannery O’Connor. English Community Journal, 3(1), 342. https://doi.org/10.32502/ecj.v3i1.1700 Accessed Nov 2021.

Hughes, L. (1995). Salvation. Vintage. https://eagleonline.hccs.edu/courses/169014/files/30761459?module_item_id=9231661 Accessed Nov 2021.

Zaidman, L. M. (2000). The Evolution of a Good Woman. Georgia College and State University, 43-51. https://www.jstor.org/stable/26674744 Accessed Nov 2021.