Discussion Replies-Confrontation in Counseling

(Student 1)

William Norris

Using Sin To Heal

While the Bible contains some of the most complicated instructions, it also includes some of the simplest. One of the clearest directives follows: “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed (James 5:16).” The Bible states it clearly that in order to be healed, confession must be made. It has been argued by my contemporaries that if church members would confess their sins openly, there would be less sin and more spirit in our churches. Confronting sin is no more complicated that confessing the sin openly. The question then becomes, “Why is confessing sin so difficult?” Guilt plays a large part in people not being able to confess their sin. McMinn states that guilt is not necessarily a bad thing and that guilt “helps us understand adhere to moral standards… and motivates us to reconcile with one another.” [1]

Recently, I had the opportunity to counsel a married couple where one of the spouses committed adultery. Throughout the course of counseling, both spouses brought up past “sins” of the marriages, including lying, verbal, emotional and physical abuse, and a return to drug use (one of the spouses is an addict). These sins were used in an attempt to replace the blame of the recent adultery. Utilizing the “Allies” model, this pastoral counselor applied scripture to secular psychology with this married couple. [2] This counselor proceeded to attempt to have both spouses to recognize that all things that happened are in the past. This counselor asked both to list issues and problems of the marriage. This counselor then asked what each would like to do with those problems. Both replied they wanted them forgotten. While it can be difficult to completely forget, forgiveness is possible. In a Christian marriage, forgiveness is key. McMinn calls forgiveness an “obligation for those who desire to live a Christian life.” [3] Paul tells the Ephesians that both husband and wife need to forgive, but the husband is to forgive as Christ forgives (Ephesians 5:25-26). The counselor, as well as each spouse (in this situation), can empower grace. [4] Empowering grace is, therefore, redemptive.

(Student 2)

Lauren Schaupp

Confronting Sin

While the Bible contains some of the most complicated instructions, it also includes some of the simplest. One of the clearest directives follows: “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed (James 5:16).” The Bible states it clearly that in order to be healed, confession must be made. It has been argued by my contemporaries that if church members would confess their sins openly, there would be less sin and more spirit in our churches. Confronting sin is no more complicated that confessing the sin openly. The question then becomes, “Why is confessing sin so difficult?” Guilt plays a large part in people not being able to confess their sin. McMinn states that guilt is not necessarily a bad thing and that guilt “helps us understand adhere to moral standards… and motivates us to reconcile with one another.” [1]

Recently, I had the opportunity to counsel a married couple where one of the spouses committed adultery. Throughout the course of counseling, both spouses brought up past “sins” of the marriages, including lying, verbal, emotional and physical abuse, and a return to drug use (one of the spouses is an addict). These sins were used in an attempt to replace the blame of the recent adultery. Utilizing the “Allies” model, this pastoral counselor applied scripture to secular psychology with this married couple. [2] This counselor proceeded to attempt to have both spouses to recognize that all things that happened are in the past. This counselor asked both to list issues and problems of the marriage. This counselor then asked what each would like to do with those problems. Both replied they wanted them forgotten. While it can be difficult to completely forget, forgiveness is possible. In a Christian marriage, forgiveness is key. McMinn calls forgiveness an “obligation for those who desire to live a Christian life.” [3] Paul tells the Ephesians that both husband and wife need to forgive, but the husband is to forgive as Christ forgives (Ephesians 5:25-26). The counselor, as well as each spouse (in this situation), can empower grace. [4] Empowering grace is, therefore, redemptive.