Conflict Resolution

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Conflict Resolution with Young Children

Preparing for Conflict (Class Activity)

Self –Reflection: Everyone has experience with conflict – from early childhood

days to the present. These feelings and memories can lead teachers to miss the

value of classroom conflict and to seek a conflict-free teaching environment.

Teachers need to take the time to reflect on her/his personal or professional

experiences with conflict.

1. What did you learn about conflict as a child growing up? 2. How do you respond or react to conflict (as an adult) in your personal life

today? 3. How do you respond or react to conflict (as an adult) in your professional

life? 4. What are your conflict “pet peeves” in the classroom (as a teacher)? What

conflicts just drive you crazy? 5. What conflicts in the classroom do you approach calmly and without

additional emotion? 6. Why the difference? 7. What do you want children in your classroom to learn about conflict? 8. What skills do you want children to learn as they grow, when they are in

conflict situations?

Conflict with Young Children (Lecture Notes)

A prepared teacher knows that conflict has educational and social value in

children’s development. S/he knows the value of classroom conflict and does not

seek a conflict-free teaching environment.

Conflict is a natural and daily occurrence in early childhood programs. It is typical

for young children in early childhood programs to experience conflict over:

 toys

 relationships

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 ideas

 space

 power

 incomplete understanding

Through conflict, children learn. In order for the learning to promote positive

growth – emotionally, socially, and intellectually – classroom conflict is met with

support from adults who facilitate peaceful conflict resolution.

What is peaceful conflict resolution?

Peaceful conflict resolution in the early childhood classroom is working through a

problem or conflict in a way that does not physically, emotionally, or socially hurt

anyone involved.

Peaceful conflict resolution provides children with opportunities to feel competent

in handling situations and relationship. It fosters feelings of respect for the self and

other people, as well as respect for new ideas.

Methods of Discipline should support conflict resolution.

The following methods do not fit with young children’s development and are not

recommended.

 A quick encouragement to “use words”

 An insistence that children in conflict take turns or share

 Telling children how to solve a problem

 Making a child give up a toy to more insistent child

 Sending a child in conflict away to another activity

 Removing the sought-after toy

 Time out/punishment

 Asking children to say “I’m sorry” when they are not sorry

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In these not recommended disciplinary responses:

 children do not have the developmental abilities to do what is being asked

(use words, take turns, give up a toy willingly)

 teachers are solving problems for children (insisting children take turns or

share, telling how to solve a problem, making a child give up a toy, sending

a child away from an activity, removing a toy, insisting children apologize)

 or children are not given an opportunity to learn (all of the above).

Teachers who value peaceful conflict resolution and understand the relationship of

conflict and social development will be thoughtful in their responses to children in

conflict.

Conflict Scenario (Class Activity)

After reading through the “Conflict Resolution Steps” on the next page,

read the scenario below. As a teacher, you step in to help the children in

this scenario resolve their problem using a conflict resolution process.

Describe what happens as you walk them through the steps. Write what

you say and how the children might respond.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION SCENARIO

Four-year-old Marta and Tui are arguing in the pretend area. Marta wants to

make a doctor’s office and have Tui bring her baby in because she is hurt.

Tui has both of the dolls and intends to take her “twins” shopping instead.

Their voices get louder and angrier. Marta shouts, “But I’m the doctor and

your baby fell off the chair. She broke her arm so you have to bring her to

me.” Tui insists, “No, I hate you! I’m going shopping.” Marta makes a grab

for the doll and the arm breaks off. Tui is in tears and Marta is wailing.

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CONFLICT RESOLUTION: SIMPLIFIED

HighScope has a six-step process that can be used to help children resolve

conflicts that may arise during their day. I have incorporated their steps into the

ones that I have found useful over the years.

Step 1. STOP THE ACTION

Approach the situation calmly. Observe the situation, approach the children with a

calm voice, and sit with them on the floor. Stop any hurtful behavior (hitting,

pulling of toy, screaming, etc.) if necessary.

Step 2. ACKNOWLEDGE AND DEFINE CHILDREN’S FEELINGS

Describe the feeling you observe and the details of what you see. Define the

problem: Say something like “You both want the _________,” “You don’t like

having sand thrown in your face.” etc. SUPPORT the victim (if there is one)

WITHOUT shaming the aggressor.

Step 3. GATHER INFORMATION

Ask open-ended questions, directing your questions to one child, then another.

Step 4. RESTATE THE PROBLEM

Based on what the children say, clarify the problem and check your statement with

the children. GIVE words to help children identify their feeling. “You are very

ANGRY,” or “It is very FRUSTRATING when________”

Step 5. ASK FOR IDEAS FOR SOLUTIONS and choose one together.

Encourage children to talk to each other. Be prepared to give suggestions. When

children arrive at a solution, restate it and check with them to make sure they are in

agreement. HELP all parties come to an agreeable solution (taking turns, finding

another toy, playing together, doing something else, etc.) ENCOURAGE all

parties for their efforts. “You solved the problem.” “You used your words to let

each other know what you wanted!” “What a good friend you are.” “What a great

idea!” or even “You stopped screaming, good job.”

Step 6. Be prepared to PROVIDE FOLLOW-UP SUPPORT.

Sometimes solutions need clarifying as the children begin to play again. References: Retrireved 4/22/12 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HighScope