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Communication Notebook Assignment Week 5

Tara Thompson

Ashford University

Course Code: COM 200: Interpersonal Communication

Carol Grinage

January 27, 2021

Week 1

Step 2: Apply what you have learned during this class, especially the basic principles of effective communication, ideas of the self, or culture, to your exercise results, citing at least two-course resources to support you, and one can be a video.

In this exercise, I spoke to two people through two different mediums. One medium was a video call, and the other was through phone messages. I found talking over video call much better than messages. I could interact better and ask more questions. When I was on a video call, I could easily establish my rapport with the other person. Since the other person could see my face and vice versa, I knew what to ask and what not to ask. I started with a general conversation first and built a comfortable relationship between the two of us. I chose to ask more open-ended questions to make the other person know that I am interested in what they do and whatever they have to say. I listened attentively and used many nonverbal cues during the conversation, like nodding, smiling, different expressions according to the context, and hand gestures while talking (Bevan, 2020). This helped in creating a good rapport. Then I used the speech mirroring technique to effectively communicate with the other person (Bevan, 2020). I observed the tone and pace of how the person was talking and tried mirroring that. This made the other person open more and tell me more about their birthday plans and the other questions. However, when I spoke to a different person over messages and tried doing the same, it did not work well. It was hard to identify their tone and if they are interested in the conversation. I could not do much to create a rapport between us. Therefore, I found talking over video calls better. Comment by VS: Text messages? Specify. Comment by VS: Use past tense; I was Comment by VS: had Comment by VS: review missing punctuation. Comment by VS: were

Week 2

Step 2: Apply what you have learned during this class, especially the basic principles of effective communication, ideas of the self, or culture, to your exercise results, citing at least two-course resources to support you, and one can be a video.

In this exercise, I spoke to two different genders to identify if gender plays a role in their communication style and if the stereotypical communication style associated with males and females is true or not. The person I spoke to overcall was a girl, and the person I spoke to over messages was a guy. In this case, I felt much closer to the girl. This is because it was easier for me to identify her communication style. I found her communication style to be like mine, which is a feminine style. She was more expressive with her feelings, and we engaged in many topics that we both could relate to. This helped us bond better. However, in the case of talking to a guy over messages, it was rather hard for me to be certain about his communication style but as far as I observed, his way of talking was quite assertive. He did not express himself too openly. I felt as if there was a constant need for him to sound more masculine. His replies were to the point, and I could not find common ground with him. I personally believe our communication styles are heavily influenced by our culture and societal norms (Bevan, 2020). In our culture and society, a guy is expected to be emotionally strong and manly, whereas a girl is expected to be more delicate and feminine. As we live in a male-dominated society, it is only natural that a guy would have a masculine way of talking rather than feminine. Since men in our society mostly hang out with the same gender, their gender orientation is more masculine (Bevan, 2020). Comment by VS: over videocall Comment by VS: the Comment by VS: good point!

Week 4

Step 2: Apply what you have learned during this class, especially the basic principles of effective communication, ideas of the self, or culture, to your exercise results, citing at least two-course resources to support you, and one can be a video.

The emotional support I was seeking for and got was emotional support. I tried talking to two people through two different mediums. In my case, I felt communicating over messages better than overcall. This is because of numerous factors. One of the biggest factors that played an active role in my difficulty to talk overcall was my shyness (Bevan, 2020). I do not consider myself a shy person in general, but there are certain things I cannot openly talk about. One of those things is my emotions and problems. So, in such cases, I face communication apprehension (Bridgepoint Education, n.d.). I try to avoid the situation or keep it very short because I do not know how to effectively engage in such conversations in person (Bevan, 2020). However, over messages, I knew no one was looking at me, and I did not have to speak out my thoughts, so it was rather easier for me to express better this way. As I was getting conscious while talking overcall, I believe the other person also felt conscious. There were no non-verbal cues used since it was a normal call and not messages. However, I got better verbal cues over text. For instance, I would frequently get 'I understand how you feel' and supporting comments, which made me talk more. Therefore, I felt much closer to the person over messages this way. Comment by VS: Was better Comment by VS: This is two separate words. Comment by VS: Express myself better Comment by VS: Self conscious Comment by VS: I thought you experience with videocall was better than messages?

Week 5:

Exercise: Relationship Equity

Q1. How much time did each exchange take (roughly)?

Each exchange took more than 20 minutes because it was a long conversation rather than a short one. However, conversation over messages took less time. Comment by VS: Pluralize this.

Q2. How well were the questions answered via phone or video chat?

The questions answered over call were clearer. Both of us could effectively communicate our side and make each other understand our point of view. Comment by VS: Phone call or video call?

Q3. How well were the questions answered via email, messenger, or phone texting?

The conversation over messages was not as effective as overcall. Messages gave a lot of space for miscommunication. There was a high possibility for both to misunderstand each other’s intentions and tone.

Q4. How close did you feel to the person in the phone or video chat exchange?

When I talked to my partner overcall, I felt quite close to him because of how he talked. His tone sounded softer over call than on messages.

Q5. How close did you feel to the person in email, messenger, or phone texting exchange?

I did not feel closer to my partner over messages due to a misunderstanding of his tone and intentions. Often, I would get offended only because his tone came across as rude, which I assumed solely on my perception.

Q6. Which interaction was most satisfying and why?

Talking on call was more satisfying. This is because I could clear out all the misunderstandings between us without offending.

Step 2: Apply what you have learned during this class, especially the basic principles of effective communication, ideas of the self, or culture, to your exercise results, citing at least two-course resources to support you, and one can be a video.

There was a time in my relationship when I felt over benefitted, and I felt baffled as to what I should do to balance out the relationship. Since it was with my partner, so it was relatively easier for me to communicate. I realized I was giving less than what I was getting, so I started improving my verbal and non-verbal cues. I spoke to my partner about this over a message, and I realized it was leading towards a fight only because I was getting a little aggressive. So, I decided to talk over call and apply verbal cues in my speech. My tone became softer, and so did my pitch. I talked so that it would not come off as an attack because some of my messages were being interpreted negatively due to the wrong choice of words during our conversation over a call. Also, to avoid any fight, I decided to use a collaborative conflict style to effectively convey my side and cater to my partner's side. I used more ‘I’ statements instead of using ‘You’ statements (Bridgepoint Education, n.d.). This helped both of us establish a common ground. In addition to this, I also added affectionate remarks in between to maintain the conversation's softness (Bevan, 2020). In this case, if I were to be in a position where I was under benefitted, I would have used the same way to communicate with my partner. I would have confronted the situation in the same manner instead of avoiding the situation or compromising where it is not required. Comment by VS: This word isn’t needed here.

References

Bevan, J. (2020). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (3rd ed., pp. chapter 4.3).

Bevan, J. (2020). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (3rd ed., pp. chapter 7.2).

Bevan, J. (2020). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (3rd ed., pp. chapter 2.2).

Bevan, J. (2020). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (3rd ed., pp. chapter 5.2).

Bevan, J. (2020). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (3rd ed., pp. chapter 5.1).

Bevan, J. (2020). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (3rd ed., pp. chapter 9.3).

Bridgepoint Education. Types and Forms of Communication Apprehension [Video].

Bridgepoint Education. A Closer Look at Conflict Styles [Video].

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