English - Paper 2 (No Plagiarism - Need High Quality Work) - Please be Specific on the work count
jhayes
Comments.docxThis is a compelling personal narrative! Please see the rubric and my notes below to understand your grade on the Personal Narrative Essay:
Purpose & Focus: 9/10
Organization & Transitions: 4.5/5
Tone & Editing: 4/5
Overall Grade: 17.5/20
To understand the numerical scoring of this paper and areas for potential improvement, please consult the areas marked with an X in the following grading chart:
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Content & Structure |
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This personal narrative does a great job of dramatizing events, and I have no suggestions for improvement in terms of the basic content. |
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X |
You do a good job showing overall, but this essay covers a lot of territory. It might be helpful to limit the focus, so that you can really concentrate on one scene and use dramatization more to your advantage. |
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X |
A little more showing (and less telling) would be beneficial at the beginning and the end of the essay. |
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X |
Further work on effective transitions (or the flow of the story) and/or more effective paragraph breaks would strengthen this essay. |
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Editing Issues to Watch Out for in the Future |
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X |
Misspelled or misused words and/or names |
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Run-on sentences |
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Incomplete sentences |
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X |
Shifting verb tense |
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Shifting point of view |
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X |
Awkward, unclear, or repetitive phrasing |
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Missing words |
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X |
Capitalization errors |
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X |
Missing/misused commas |
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Missing/misused apostrophes |
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Misused colons or semicolons |
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Problems with agreement |
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Misplaced punctuation in relation to quotation marks |
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X |
Errors in end punctuation |
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Spacing errors |
In regards to editing issues, you may want to consult the appropriate sections in the grammar handbook at the back of your textbook about these issues as well. (These are the cream-colored pages in the 8th or 9th edition or the blue pages in the 7th edition.) Once you’ve reviewed these sections as well as your paper, feel free to let me know if you have questions about any of these issues.
Other than that, this is good work!
