Revise & Polish two paper

Happiness.docx by Xiyan Zhang

Submission dat e : 08- Apr- 2018 11:24 PM (UT C- 07 00) Submission ID: 94 34 594 56 File name : Happiness.do cx Word count : 1167 Charact e r count : 5629

1

Awk. 2

t ell

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Run-on

t o be

t o be

Awk.

t o bet o be

it

t hing

t o be VERY VERY t hing

Missing ","

t o be

Weak T ransit ion

Missing ","Missing ","

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Awk. t o be Missing ","Missing ","

t o be

t o be

C/S

t o be

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t o be

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t o be

0% SIMILARIT Y INDEX

0% INT ERNET SOURCES

% PUBLICAT IONS

0% ST UDENT PAPERS

Exclude quo tes Of f

Exclude biblio graphy Of f

Exclude matches Of f

Happiness.docx ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

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FINAL GRADE

/100

Happiness.docx GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

PAGE 1

Comment 1

If yo u have the time, go see a writing co nsultant in the Writing Center to help with sentence- level erro rs and clarity

Awk. Awkward: T he expressio n o r co nstructio n is cumberso me o r dif f icult to read. Co nsider rewriting.

Comment 2

religio ns

Strikethrough.

tell this tells mo re than sho ws. yo u want to sho w, to describe

Awk. Awkward: T he expressio n o r co nstructio n is cumberso me o r dif f icult to read. Co nsider rewriting.

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

Run-on Run- o n sentence: T he sentence co ntains two o r mo re independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a perio d o r semico lo n.

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to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

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to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

Awk. Awkward: T he expressio n o r co nstructio n is cumberso me o r dif f icult to read. Co nsider rewriting.

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

it avo id beginning paragraphs with it as it needs a ref erent

thing be mo re specif ic. avo id using the wo rd thing

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

VERY VERY Be mo re specif ic than very: http://writerswrite.co .za/4 5- ways- to - avo id- using- the- wo rd- very

thing

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be mo re specif ic. avo id using the wo rd thing

Missing "," Missing co mma: T ho ugh it may no t always be grammatically necessary, a co mma can o f ten help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence o pens with an intro ducto ry element (a phrase, clause o r wo rd that is lo gically related to ano ther phrase o r clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to yo ur reader to place a co mma af ter that intro ducto ry element. Such phrases will o f ten begin with wo rds like "because," "while" o r "altho ugh," as in the f o llo wing example: "While everyo ne was f ighting, the bear wandered away." As yo u can see, witho ut the co mma, the sentence wo uld be co nf using.

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

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Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

Missing "," Missing co mma: T ho ugh it may no t always be grammatically necessary, a co mma can o f ten help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence o pens with an intro ducto ry element (a phrase, clause o r wo rd that is lo gically related to ano ther phrase o r clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to yo ur reader to place a co mma af ter that intro ducto ry element. Such phrases will o f ten begin with wo rds like "because," "while" o r "altho ugh," as in the f o llo wing example: "While everyo ne was f ighting, the bear wandered away." As yo u can see, witho ut the co mma, the sentence wo uld be co nf using.

Missing "," Missing co mma: T ho ugh it may no t always be grammatically necessary, a co mma can o f ten help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence o pens with an intro ducto ry element (a phrase, clause o r wo rd that is lo gically related to ano ther phrase o r clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to yo ur reader to place a co mma af ter that intro ducto ry element. Such phrases will o f ten begin with wo rds like "because," "while" o r "altho ugh," as in the f o llo wing example: "While everyo ne was f ighting, the bear wandered away." As yo u can see, witho ut the co mma, the sentence wo uld be co nf using.

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Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

Awk. Awkward: T he expressio n o r co nstructio n is cumberso me o r dif f icult to read. Co nsider rewriting.

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

Missing "," Missing co mma: T ho ugh it may no t always be grammatically necessary, a co mma can o f ten help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence o pens with an intro ducto ry element (a phrase, clause o r wo rd that is lo gically related to ano ther phrase o r clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to yo ur reader to place a co mma af ter that intro ducto ry element. Such phrases will o f ten begin with wo rds like "because," "while" o r "altho ugh," as in the f o llo wing example: "While everyo ne was f ighting, the bear wandered away." As yo u can see, witho ut the co mma, the sentence wo uld be co nf using.

Missing "," Missing co mma: T ho ugh it may no t always be grammatically necessary, a co mma can o f ten help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence o pens with an intro ducto ry element (a phrase, clause o r wo rd that is lo gically related to ano ther phrase o r clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to yo ur reader to place a co mma af ter that intro ducto ry element. Such phrases will o f ten begin with wo rds like "because," "while" o r "altho ugh," as in the f o llo wing example: "While everyo ne was f ighting, the bear wandered away." As yo u can see, witho ut the co mma, the sentence wo uld be co nf using.

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in-

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writing/

C/S Co mma splice: A sentence must have bo th a subject and a main verb in o rder to be co mplete, but it canno t have mo re than o ne subject o r main verb. A co mma splice is a variety o f run- o n sentence that o ccurs when two co mplete sentences, each with its o wn subject and verb, are jo ined mistakenly by a co mma. T here are generally three metho ds o f co rrecting this pro blem: 1) Replace the co mma with a stro nger mark o f punctuatio n such as a perio d o r semico lo n, 2) use a co o rdinating co njunctio n ("and," "but," "o r," "no r") to jo in the two co nstructio ns, o r 3) make o ne o f the two sentences a dependent co nstructio n by linking it to the o ther with a subo rdinating co njunctio n ("if ," "when," "so that," "altho ugh," "because") o r relative pro no un ("that," "which," "who ," "who m," "who se").

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to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in-

writing/