Revise & Polish two paper

Untitled by Xiyan Zhang

Submission dat e : 18- Feb- 2018 09:24 PM (UT C- 0800) Submission ID: 91800564 7 File name : SpeakingMyT ruth_new.do cx (18.12K) Word count : 1135 Charact e r count : 5056

hook

1

t o be

t o be

3

Weak T ransit ion

t hing

4

Weak T ransit ion

t o be

t o be get

Weak T ransit ion

Weak T ransit ion

Awk. Weak T ransit ion

Weak T ransit ion

0% SIMILARIT Y INDEX

0% INT ERNET SOURCES

% PUBLICAT IONS

0% ST UDENT PAPERS

Exclude quo tes Of f

Exclude biblio graphy Of f

Exclude matches Of f

Untitled ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

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FINAL GRADE

/100

Untitled GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

PAGE 1

hook yo ur f irst sentence needs to co ntain a ho o k to draw yo ur reader in

https://www.kibin.co m/essay- writing- blo g/go o d- ho o k- sentences/

Comment 1

Describe what hard wo rk lo o ks like

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

Strikethrough.

Comment 3

Add specif ic detailed examples

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

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thing be mo re specif ic. avo id using the wo rd thing

Comment 4

Ho w did the display the envy?

PAGE 2

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

to be try to eliminate so me o f yo ur to be verbs (am is was were are) as they tend to be so me o f the mo st o verused verbs in the English language: http://blo g.penningto npublishing.co m/grammar_mechanics/ho w- to - eliminate- to - be- verbs- in- writing/

get vary vo cabulary- - what wo rd can yo u use besides get

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

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Awk. Awkward: T he expressio n o r co nstructio n is cumberso me o r dif f icult to read. Co nsider rewriting.

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.

PAGE 3

Weak Transition Weak paragraph transitio n: Altho ugh paragraphs are separate, individual steps o f yo ur paper, it is impo rtant to clearly demo nstrate a lo gical co nnectio n between them. Generally speaking, the way yo ur paragraphs relate to o ne ano ther displays ho w so und yo ur argument really is. A paragraph that begins with "also " o r "in additio n" o f f ers a weak transitio n f ro m the previo us po int, even tho ugh it may develo p a highly interesting and related po int.