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COMM125November20thSlides.pptxConflict & Interpersonal Communication
11/20/2017
Agenda
Attendance/Questions
Mini Paper #5 Due
Presentation Speaking Order/Overview
Conflict & Interpersonal Communication
Next Steps
Group Work
Mini Paper # 5
Presentation Speaking Order/Details
Everything (Except Evaluations) Due November 27th
Copy Of Your Paper
Outline Of Presentation (Including Who Is Assigned To Speak On Each Part)
A Copy of Visual Aids/PowerPoint/Handouts
Presentation Should Be 25-30 (cutoff-32 minutes) Minutes In Length & Everyone Should Have a Speaking Role
Be On Time and Prepared. Have A Backup Copy Of Your Presentation (Murphy’s Law)
Audience: You Have a Role Too! Please Pay Attention. Attendance Points Will Be Docked For Students Who Leave Early, Texting, Sleeping, or Otherwise Not Paying Attention To Those Speaking
Group Evaluations Will Be Made Available After Presentations On November 27th and Are Due December 4th.
Group Discussion
How Do You Personally Define Conflict?
What Is Your Typical Response To Conflict?
What Do You Think Your Greatest Strength Is When Dealing With Your Own Conflicts? What About Dealing With Someone Else’s Conflict?
If You Could Change One Thing About How You Handle Conflict, What Would It Be and Why?
What Do You Think The Most Important Outcome of Conflict Is?
Think About These Questions For A Few Moments By Yourself, Then Get In Your Project Groups and Discuss.
What came up in your groups? Is conflict a good or bad thing?
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2 Types of Conflict
Constructive Conflict
Generates productive, mutually beneficial, shared decisions
The process becomes as important as the end result.
Individuals come together to redefine or strengthen their relationship for the greater good
Destructive Conflict
Flows from narrowly defined or rigid goals
Individuals involved become less flexible and assume that the opposing party must suffer defeat.
Involved parties succumb to personal attacks, threats and a general tone of hostility.
How Would You Define Each of These Types of Conflict and What They Would Look Like?
Conflict Is Not Always a Bad Thing. It can Sometimes appear like a scary word. Why is that? Conflict is hard, It doesn’t always feel good but it is necessary for the growth of relationships. Your whole relationship shouldn’t be conflict, but there should be a balance. Just like I told you on day 1 of this class, it is ok to disagree with one another but we still should practice respect.
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Where Does Conflict Come From? (PERCEPTION!)
Expressed Struggle-Both Parties Must Know A Problem Exists
Perceived Incompatible Goals-Everything Is Black & White
Perceived Scarce Resources-There Isn’t Enough To Go Around
Interdependence-Both Parties Need Each Other
Interference From The Other Party-Acting In A Way To Prevent Someone Else From Achieving Their Goals
Conflict Styles Assessment
Have Students Take the Conflict Styles Assessment Worksheet
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Avoiding: Attempting to ignore the problem or conflict “not my circus, not my monkeys” When we don’t embrace conflict, the status quo won’t change and no one is happy
Accommodating: We give up what we want in turn to make others happy even when we don’t agree with the decision –often occurs when we don’t feel comfortable in our environment or the people we are with have more authority.
Compromising-its better to lose some than all-its not always the best option as it can leave feelings of regret and disappointment which can lead to bitterness
Collaboration-How can we make everyone happy. It no longer becomes about just yourself but everyone involved.
Competing-Going for what we want even if it means others lose It’s my way or the highway. We can be pushed into this due to fear or power. We can choose to be aggressive (Shark) or passive aggressive to manipulate others into giving us what we want.
Passive Agressiveneness can be extrememly toxic in a relationship. Think about what you read on pages 353-354 what resonates with you. Share examples from your own life when you have seen these behaviors.
All of these styles work as a balancing act and are situational. There may be times when its better to accommodate rather than collaborate. Page 357 gives you an excellent idea of what this might look like and when to practice each style
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Relational Conflict Systems
Complementary Conflict Style –Different But Mutually Reinforcing Behaviors
Symmetrical Conflict Style-Using The Same Behaviors
Parallel Conflict Style-Alternating Between Complementary and Symmetrical Style Pending On Situation
Beyond our individual conflict styles, we also have specific interpersonal relationships which we have created our own conflict style together and this style determines how they resolve their conflict
Complementary-Person A Complains, Person B Withdraws
Symmetrical-Both Persons Begin Getting Loud and Defensive
Parallell
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Destructive Conflict Traps: “Four Horsemen”
Criticism-Attacking a Person’s Character (You Language)
Defensiveness-Self-Protection to the Point of Denying Any Responsibility and Refusal To Listen
Contempt-Belittle or Demean The Other Person (Name-Calling, Put-Downs)
Stonewalling – Shutting Down The Conversation and Refusing to Talk
These behaviors can lead to toxic relationships, destructive conflicts and conflict rituals. “He always walks away angry and then comes back a few hours later and pretends nothing happened. We don’t talk about it and move on.
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How To Practice Constructive Conflict Resolution
Take A Moment-Identify Your Problem and Needs
Make A Date To Talk
Describe Your Problem & Needs
Consider and Listen to Your Partner’s Point of View
Negotiate
Follow-Up
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Exercises & Activities
With a Partner I’m Listening Page 63-66 (We all have different motivations and goals behind our actions)
The Butler Did It Page 93 (if we don’t learn to communicate effectively, things become more difficult
Resolutions Page 165 (We all have different perspectives and perceptions)
Build a Word Page 217 (sometimes unexpected things happen)
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Next Steps
Finish Your Group Project and Practice Presentation
