COM35

Chapter Two – Communication and Identity – Creating and Presenting the

Self

Communication and the Self

Self-Concept - the relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of

yourself

Self- esteem – evaluation of your self-worth

Biological and Social Roots of the Self

Biology and the self

Personality – characteristic ways of thinking and behaving

across a variety of situation

traits

situational

Big five personality traits

extrovertion/introvertion

open/not open

conscientious/undirected

agreeable/antagonistic

neurotic/stable

Socialization and the self-concept

Reflected appraisal

Significant others

Social comparison

Reference groups

Characteristics of the Self-Concept

The self-concept is subjective

obsolete information

distorted feedback

perfectionism

social expectations

The self-concept resists change (cognitive conservatism)

failure to acknowledge change

self-delusion and lack of growth

defensiveness

Embrace a more positive self-image

have a realistic perception of yourself

have realistic expectations

have the will to change

have the skill to change

Culture, Gender, and Idenity

Culture

individualistic (low-context)

collectivistic (high-context)

Sex and gender

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication

Definition – expectations held that make an outcome more likely

Four stages holding an expectation behaving in accordance with expectation expectation coming to pass

reinforcing the original expectation Types of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies self-imposed imposed by one person on another Presenting the Self – Communication as Identity Management Public and Private Selves perceived self presenting self

Characteristics of Identity Management strive to construct multiple identities identity management is collaborative (Goffman – dramaturgical) can be deliberate or unconscious

Why Manage Identities?

to start and manage relationships to gain compliance of others to save others’ face to explore new selves Managing Identities in Person or Online face-to-face

manner (words and nonverbal behavior) appearance (clothes, tattoos) setting (physical items that we use to influence how others view us online impression management limits (lacks richness) advantages more control less worry about verbal and nonverbal fluency unethical reputation management Identity Management and Honesty

managing identity doesn’t necessarily make you a liar you have a choice about how to act Self-Disclosure in Relationships

Self-disclosure is the process of deliberately revealing information that is significant and not known by others

Models of Self-Disclosure

Altman and Taylor’s Social Penetration Model

breadth

depth

cliches

facts opinions

feelings

Johari Window

open

blind

hidden

unknown

Benefits and Risks of Self-Disclosure Benefits

Catharsis

Reciprocity

Self-Clarification

Self-Validation

Building and maintaining relationships

Social Influence Risks of Self-Disclosure

Rejection

Negative Impression

Decrease in Relational Satisfaction

Loss of Influence

Hurting the Other Person

Guidelines for Self-Disclosure

Is the Other Person Important to You?

Are the Amount and Type of Disclosure Appropriate?

Is the Risk of Disclosing Reasonable?

Will the Effect be Constructive?

Is the Self-Disclosure Reciprocated?

Do You Have a Moral Obligation?

Alternatives to Self-Disclosure

Silence

Lying

Benevolent Lies To Save Face

To Avoid Tension or Conflict Guide Social Interaction

Expand or Reduce Relationships To Gain Power

Equivocation

Hinting

The Ethics of Evasion

Lying – How to come clean (Bella de Paulo)

1. Get clean and be willing to stay clean 2. Admit to the person you duped that your behavior was bad 3. Show remorse 4. Promise never to do it again 5. Don’t expect applause

How to avoid the temptation to tell serious lies

1. Never tell a primitive lie – to avoid punishment of blame 2. Entitlement lies

Forgo pleasure Tell the person of authority that although you know they object you are going to do what you please

3. Instrumental lies for bold, cold, manipulative Your integrity is worth more Than any other reward

4. Lie of honor 5. Lie about your identity