cody case study

Writing for the Profession CYCS 2011 Child & Youth Care Program

George Brown College

Cody Lang Case Study Part 1: The Young Person’s Voice Cody, in his own words:

Hey, my name’s Cody. Cody Lang.

I’m doing’ this story thing because my worker thinks it’d be a good idea for me. I’m not so sure,

but whatever. To be honest sometimes, talking or writing things out makes me feel a bit better,

but I don’t wanna make a habit of it.

Anyways, I’m supposed to start at the beginning, but that’s the thing right; my beginning was

kinda messed up and all I know is what people tell me. It sucks to not know anything about my

past, it really pisses me off, and sometimes when I think about it too much I wanna explode or

just disappear!

But here goes. My mom was likely a CAS kid like me. She used about every kinda drink and drug

she could get her hands on and then somewhere along the line she had me. I call her Crystal, but

that’s a total guess, I just like the name.

I guess we bounced around from shelter to shelter ‘til someone made the call to CAS. I’m like a

year and half old and right away, bam, I’m a CAS kid! Crystal took off and I haven’t seen or

heard from her since. Really, left me on my own, and now she’s just gone.

I guess I was kind of a mess back then. I was about a year and half old. They tell me I was just

like you’d expect a shelter kid to be at that age with a mom who was more about getting high

than lookin’ after me. They say I was dirty, scabs, tired all the time, didn’t wanna play with

anyone, bad mood all the time, stuff like that.

I guess I musta been a handful, cuz I got moved around a lot at first. I saw in a file once that I

had 3 different foster homes before I was even 3 years old.

Course I don’t really know any of this for sure, but they say I was a real fighter for a little guy.

My 2 Moms got permission to adopt me after all the foster homes and I guess I wasn’t too cool

with the idea of someone bein’ all nice to me, cuz I guess I kinda let ‘em have it whenever they’d

insist that I sit close to them and all that cuddly stuff. Punch first - ask questions later I guess,

right?!

So now were getting’ to the time that I do remember. My Moms are Ellie and Janice. They’re

cool. Nobody forced ‘em to scoop me up from the CAS. I was busy getting’ by and they were

Writing for the Profession CYCS 2011 Child & Youth Care Program

George Brown College

busy with whatever, but they figured they could look after someone. They weren’t getting’ any

younger – they were like 30 or somethin’ and they picked me.

Yeh, so like I said, I was a handful at first. Didn’t want no one to be too near me. I was mad all

the time and after I started going to school, I had to see lots of workers and doctors and stuff –

even saw a shrink a few times. The teachers were always after me to settle down. They were all

like, “use your words Cody” and stuff like that, and I was always in trouble for fighting. But I’m

like whatever, what did they think they were getting after a start in life like that?! I mean how

do you think I feel about all this crap! Every minute something reminds me that I was a

throwaway kid. Whatever!

The grown-ups were always like “calm down” and “tell me how you feel” and “we’re gonna be

here forever”. I sure didn’t believe that was the truth! And the other kids were always into their

own stuff. I never really got what they were into. I was pretty much always alone at school.

Those kids didn’t like me, and I didn’t like them either. I always felt pretty out-of-control and like

nowhere was gonna work for me.

When I was about nine or somethin’ I get two pretty big things thrown at me. First off, they drop

on me that I’m adopted. Kinda makes sense now that I think of it, but what’s a nine-year-old

who’s already messed up supposed to do with that?! I just figured great, I wasn’t good enough

for my own mom to keep, and when they told me she was like gone and never comin’ back. I

pretty much knew for sure there was somethin’ wrong with me. I just knew it!!

And then like that’s not enough for me, they tell me I got some kinda diagnosis or somethin’ like

that. They say I got ADHD and that I’m too stupid for school! Well, they really said I had a

learning disability, but I knew what they meant for real. Whatever. I say I’m just messed up and

what do you expect. These guys tellin’ me stuff like they think they know me better than I know

me. Mostly I figured people should just leave me alone so I could do what I wanted. If they

thought I was all-of-a-sudden gonna start pouring out my feelings after that big news they

thought wrong.

I know what people say about bein’ adopted. They say I’m supposed to feel special, cuz I got

chosen. Ah no, F that! I got left behind by some terrible “mother” I can’t even remember and

picked up like a stray cat, but that don’t make it my problem and it don’t make it somethin’ I got

to tell everyone about.

Ok, Ok, so now I guess I should let ya know what happened at school and kinda everywhere

really. Cuz everyone was always at me about behavin’ better, sharin’ my feelings, talking it all

out and stuff, I just kept losing it. I was in trouble at school all the time and even around home

people were drivin’ me nuts! It was kinda like I couldn’t do anything right, couldn’t get anyone

on my side. I couldn’t even breathe right! I’d think I was tryin’ my best, but it was never enough,

so I just couldn’t trust anyone. I swear life felt impossible and there was like nothing good.

Writing for the Profession CYCS 2011 Child & Youth Care Program

George Brown College

My Moms kept tryin’ to get me to behave right. At least they didn’t dump me like my own mom

did, well, not at first anyway. I was doin’ my best to stay outta trouble, but it was just too hard.

I’d always end up fightin’ and scrappin’ and after a while the only kids I spent any time with

were the other bad kids.

I hit around 13 years old and then I just kinda stayed out of the house all the time. My Moms

would tell me I better smarten up or I was gonna end up just like my real mom. Like I could care

less about her and maybe she was better off now anyway.

I’d have to meet with workers and stuff and make promises to do my schoolwork and do my

friggin chores around the house! But I could feel it like it was going to happen all along – they

were thinkin’ about dumpin’ me at the CAS. So, I figured if no one wanted me around the house I

knew people who I could hang out with just fine.

My Moms got pretty freaked out by me being away all the time. They tried to get me into stuff

at the Community Centre. Stuff like swimming and soccer and stuff. I kinda liked the martial arts

deal they got me into, but they kept after me to do this and that in a certain way. I’d end up

either sitting’ alone or fighting’ so that didn’t last.

The thing I liked best, other than hanging out was to do acting and drawing and stuff. I liked it

and I heard I was pretty good at it. Sometimes that was the only classes I’d even go to when I

was at school. My Moms even tried to get me into that stuff at the community centre, but I just

never got it right at that place.

Turned out the thing I was best at and liked the best was hanging out. Those kids were into stuff

that was trouble, but no one really got after us too much. The kids were older than me, but I

liked that. They were into smokin’ weed and drinking a little. Man, the thing about drinking and

smoking with kids is like you feel like everything’s gonna work out. No hassles, no tryin’ to fit in

and no workin’ so hard at everything. We got into some graffiti and bustin’ stuff up a bit around

town, but mostly we never got caught and we did stuff all together.

It was cool. Someone would steal some cash from home, sometimes me, sometimes someone

else, we’d get some cheap beers or a bit of weed and then we’d go out do stuff. No right and

wrong, just hanging’ out.

And then, like I said before, my Moms called the CAS and just like that I’m a CAS kid again. It’s

like what’s the point, right? I started out with nothing’ and now things are right back to the

beginning, except that I got my crew and they aint gonna make me do stuff, call the cops or call

the CAS. Still sometimes it feels too much, like I don’t want to be here anymore. Everything just

keeps gettin’ worse and feels like it will never get better! I really think sometimes I want it all to

end, but when I talk like this people freak out.

Right now, I’m livin’ in a friggin’ group home, like I said, it keeps getting’ worse. Acorn House

they call it – great name for a nut house, right?! Sometimes I feel like I am crazy or just

Writing for the Profession CYCS 2011 Child & Youth Care Program

George Brown College

worthless. They got a ton of rules and staff, who are all weird, some worry about me all the

time, some are a pain, most are just in my way. On top of this, I got to go to meetings with my

Moms, my CAS worker, my house worker and now they want me to see someone because of my

mental health or whatever, I mean like what the hell! Sometimes I go along, but I can’t do the

right thing all the time! Sometimes I feel like the only thing stopping me from ending it all is my

crew. So, I gotta get out to see my crew, so I sneak out of the house, or stay out past curfew, or

skip school. Anything to be able to hang out with people who get me, smoke a little and forget

about all the crap coming’ down on me! Anyways, that’s me in a nutshell, get it?