2 Part Assignment Discussion and 2 responses due tonight 11pm Central time

CoachingFeedback.pdf

Home >Business & Finance homework help >Operations Management homework help >2 Part Assignment Discussion and 2 responses due tonight 11pm Central time

Delivering Coaching Feedback

Learning Objectives

By the end of this chapter, you should be able to:

• Describe the purpose and characteristics of effective feedback.

• Construct and deliver good feedback messages.

• Deliver difficult feedback. • Deliver just-in-time feedback. • Lead a peer feedback meeting.

The legendary Ted Williams of the Boston Red Sox had a goal of being the greatest hitter who ever lived. But what most people don’t realize is the extent to which Williams sought feedback. Ted knew that no matter how much tal- ent a person has, we don’t see ourselves as others see us. Feedback provides that fresh, objective lens. A coach steps back and watches how the coachee performs; his or her feedback enables us take our performance to a new level. But feedback is only helpful if it is effective. So it is imperative that you set the stage with the coachee. The first step is getting ready to give feedback.

GETTING READY TO GIVE FEEDBACK Even in the best of situations, feedback is an emotional moment. How do you get ready to give feedback? What do you need to do to set up the feedback session for success? Let’s look at six essential things.

First, gather your thoughts. Don’t rush into a feedback situation and speak before you think about what you want to say. Ask yourself:

“Why am I delivering this feedback?” “What do I want to say?” “What impact do I want to have as result of this feedback?”

I shared these guidelines in a training session a few years ago. One of the individuals in the workshop challenged, “But what if you don’t have time to gather your thoughts—suppose you’ve got to give it on the spot?” “Good question,” I responded, “But preparation doesn’t have to take hours. What you want to avoid is blurting out something you will regret, or that will incite a situation.” Gathering your thoughts means taking at least a minute or two to think before you speak.

Second, wait until you can talk in person. One of my colleagues said, “I remember one of my worst feedback experiences. I admit the project was in trouble, in part because I was a new project manager, but feedback by e-mail? I couldn’t believe my manager did that! To me, it was disrespectful—it was a waste of time because I was so upset.” Face-to-face feedback communicates to the coachee, “This is so important I am making sure I deliver it in person.”

Third, make sure you’re in a position to give the feedback in a private place. This was once taken for granted. But today, with so many companies using open office spaces, there is a temptation to talk in an open cubicle where others can overhear the conversation. Privacy helps ensure the indi- vidual can focus on what you’re saying, not on who else might be listening. Like coaching sessions, both you and the coachee need to give full attention to the feedback discussion. That can’t happen in a public setting. When you’re in a public place, all the coachee is thinking about is, “Let me just get through this!”

Similarly, select an appropriate environment. Leaders often assume their office is the best place to deliver feedback. But when you’ve got to give bad news, your office may not be the most appropriate setting. Remember that the setting is as important as the message you’re about the deliver. Consider using the employee’s office, or even better, a neutral space like a conference room. Employees tend to be more relaxed in a neutral area. If you do decide to use your office, sit next to the individual rather than across the desk. This sets a more conversational, less emotional tone and helps the individual be more at ease.

Fourth, set up the discussion. Don’t just launch into what you have to stay. Begin the discussion by talking about things like common goals, review- ing prior discussions, describing why you need to talk about these issues now, or similar things. Talk about the reasons for delivering this feedback, for example, why it is important for the employee to understand what’s not working and why. Putting the feedback in a meaningful context helps the employee understand its importance.

Fifth, prepare notes to guide what you want to say. When you speak extemporaneously, you’re more likely to talk about motives, not actions, or speak in generalities, rather than facts. Getting into motives means you are speculating about something you can’t know that’s not really important. Remember that you are giving feedback about results, performance, or

80 COACHING FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE

interpersonal interactions, not personality. What’s important is explicitly giving solid feedback that the coachee can understand and act on. Also, con- sider whether you yourself should have done things differently.

Clare, an entrepreneur magazine publisher, had this to say. “Start-ups are a special situation. The hours are long and whether you’ll make it is uncertain. I hired everyone here and thought I’d made good decisions. One of my best writers was promoted to department head. She didn’t have expe- rience but she was such a good writer I took a chance. I didn’t do any coach- ing—I was busy running the magazine and signing up subscribers. When Robin began to struggle, I didn’t notice until it was almost too late. I had to give her tough feedback but I assumed part of the responsibility. Talking about my culpability made it a little easier for Robin.”

Finally, be prepared to talk about the next steps. Certainly, you’ll want to hear the coachee’s response to feedback and what he/she will do to cor- rect the problem. But come to the meeting with what you believe needs to happen. In some instances, the coachee may not know what to do, or may be so discouraged that he or she feels the situation is hopeless. Your description of an improvement plan communicates that the feedback the person has just received is the first step toward turning things around.

GIVING EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK Feedback discussions are a means for learning, growth, and positive change. We’re going to look at eight characteristics of effective feedback. To initiate this discussion, consider what ineffective feedback looks like by doing Exercise 5–1. You may have been the recipient of it—most of us have.

Exercise 5–1: Characteristics of Poor Feedback Instructions: List two or three characteristics of poor feedback.

Most Common Complaints About Feedback Why do some leaders give feedback in a way that brings out the best in oth- ers, whereas others do it in a way that brings out the worst? Why do some people give feedback in a way that others gladly accept, whereas others only put people off ? Masterful coaches in business, sports, etc. avoid feedback that:

�

DELIVERING COACHING FEEDBACK 81

• Doesn’t enable learning or growth • Is too general • Is not timely • Is subjective and judgmental • Doesn’t describe what needs to change • Is based on assumptions • Is negative and demoralizing • Is close-minded

Characteristics of Effective Feedback Let’s look at the seven characteristics of effective feedback, which are sum- marized in Exhibit 5–1. Then we’ll examine a few do’s and don’ts. The com- bination of these two provides a solid foundation for understanding what you need to do to give good feedback.

First, effective feedback helps the coachee see the gap between intended performance and actual performance. Have you ever been frustrated, trying to get better at something but not knowing how, or what you’re doing wrong? In my spare time I sometimes do cross-stitching. I’d gotten to be pretty good but when I saw really excellent work I knew I was falling short. So I asked

82 COACHING FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE

xhibit 5–1 Characteristics of Effective Feedback

Characteristics Description

1. Effective feedback helps the coachee Use feedback to describe how to overcome understand performance gaps. performance issues.

2. Effective feedback identifies and confronts Use feedback to reveal patterns of thinking or blind spots. behavior that coachee is oblivious to or does

not want to acknowledge.

3. Effective feedback helps an individual learn Feedback shortens the learning curve by from his or her mistakes. extracting lessons learned from mistakes.

4. Effective feedback pinpoints areas for growth Feedback enables the coachee to reach full and development. potential by sharing perceptions about

strengths, special skills, etc.

5. Effective feedback provides an objective and Feedback is expressed using data and explicit data-driven description of behavior. observations so that the coachee understands

specifically what he or she needs to do more or less of.

6. Effective feedback is timely. Feedback is well timed and allows the coachee to immediately turn around performance or seize opportunities.

7. Effective feedback celebrates small wins. Feedback inspires individuals and keeps motivation high.

my friend Cindy to help me. I was amazed. She took one look at a piece of my work and immediately gave me a couple of wonderful suggestions. That’s an example of how feedback helps close performance gaps.

Second, feedback helps us confront our blind spots. What does this mean? Matt was in a rut. He is a team leader in a major hotel. His company had made the strategic decision to expand its presence in southern California and open a number of new hotels. In his industry, the ability to attract quality employees quickly is a major competitive factor. Matt was under pressure to fill a number of open jobs and get a new San Diego hotel staffed. To do this, he had to expedite his usual hiring process. Matt was resisting this change. David, his manager, used feedback to confront Matt’s resistance. David said to him, “Matt, I know you put the hiring process in place; you’ve got a lot invested. But we’ve got to find a way to get people on board faster. At this rate, we’ll never get the hotel staffed on time. It’s hard to change processes we’ve developed. The need for change is not a reflection on you but refusing to change will be.”

Third, effective feedback enables people to learn from their mistakes. Shrewd coaches use feedback to shorten the learning curve. All of us can empathize with how difficult is it to face mistakes. A good coach helps us refocus and shift from remorse or embarrassment to insight into what we need to do differently.

Fourth, feedback pinpoints areas for growth and enables people to real- ize their full potential. Chelsea had this to say. “I think I’m pretty objective about how good an engineer I am. But I never considered taking on a major facility redesign project. It amazed me that my manager thought I could do this! His feedback was convincing—he talked about how good a project man- ager I am and that I was the ideal person for this job. Without his feedback, I never would have considered this opportunity.”

Fifth, feedback should be descriptive rather than subjective or evalua- tive. Subjective feedback is based on assumptions. This type of feedback is often vague, that is, nonspecific, accusatory, and judgmental. Descriptive feedback is based on observed behavior and data. The goal of descriptive feedback is open communication that builds understanding, empathy, and trust. It is specific and accurate. The coach is willing to check inferences when he or she is unclear about what observed behavior means.

Here’s an example of how to distinguish between descriptive and subjec- tive feedback. Bill manages a copy center. He said, “I was walking through our facility the other day and heard one of our client reps arguing with a cus- tomer. When he finished, I told him I’d overheard the conversation. I asked him to go through the whole situation and explain why he was brusque in his comments. The rep disagreed and said he was merely being “assertive.” I called it “hostile.” He didn’t get it and I realized calling his behavior “hostile” was vague and subjective. I said to him, “Let me describe exactly what I saw and heard. I heard the customer ask you when his printing job would be done. You told him how busy we are. When he asked for an estimate, you responded, ‘I can’t tell you precisely when and I don’t want to be put on the spot. Your voice was raised.’ I talked him through how he might have

DELIVERING COACHING FEEDBACK 83

responded differently and helped him understand why I was so concerned.” That’s the power of descriptive feedback. It paints a picture for the individual.

Sixth, effective feedback is timely. A colleague of mine coined the phrase, “Feedback has a short shelf-life.” I couldn’t agree more! If I hear one complaint about feedback more than any other, it’s that feedback is not well timed. So many people tell me things like, “I heard about all the mistakes I’d made over the past year when I got my annual performance review. By then, it’s too late to do anything.” Coaches that are slow to give feedback undermine their cred- ibility. They rob the coachee of the opportunity to take just-in-time action to turn around performance or seize an opportunity for learning or growth. One tip though: You need to let enough time pass so that you are not simply acting out of anger, frustration, embarrassment, etc. That’s critical when you’re upset, even emotional about what’s happened. Wait until you can talk with the coachee in a calm, objective manner before you give the feedback.

Seventh, effective feedback creates small wins that stimulate, rekindle, or engage people’s energy and drive. Use feedback messages to inspire indi- viduals and keep motivation high. An information technology manager said to me, “Nothing is more difficult than big technology projects. Nobody is happy and there is never enough time. I make sure I set aside time to give the team feedback—what’s going well, what are immediate problems we need to take care of, where we are on the timeline, things like this. Talking about small victories keeps everyone energized.”

The Do’s and Don’ts of Coaching Feedback There are a few do’s and don’ts associated with giving effective feedback. They are a few simple things you want to remember, and they can make all the difference between success and failure when delivering feedback. Many of them are common sense, but are things we tend to forget. Take a look at Exhibit 5–2. It’s a quick checklist that summarizes the do’s and don’ts of effective coaching feedback.

Example of Delivering an Effective Feedback Message The following example provides you with an opportunity to practice giving effective feedback. After reading the following situation, complete Exercise 5–2.

Joanne is a consultant who wanted to become more involved in creating leadership development programs. She asked Ron, her boss, for an opportu- nity to design an executive training session dealing with critical thinking skills. Ron agreed and worked with Joanne on a rough course outline and timetable for delivering the first draft. Ron talked with Joanne a couple of weeks before the first draft was due; she said everything was fine. But Joanne missed the due date. When Ron asked her what happened, she said she mis- understood the deadline. Ron and another consultant had to work all week- end to get the first draft done.

Ron was very upset. But he waited until he calmed down and before talking with Joanne. He told me, “I was so tempted to just spew out my

84 COACHING FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE

frustration and anger, I decided to write out how I felt and then rewrite it. That’s how I was able to give Joanne good feedback.”

Exercise 5–2: What to Say to Joanne? Subjective Message Descriptive Message

“This assignment was a stretch assignment; you didn’t appreciate how important it was to meet this deadline with a quality product.” “You tend to overestimate your skills; you’re not realistic about what you can and cannot do.” “Covering your failure by calling it a miscommunication shows a lack of professionalism.”

In the left column of Exercise 5–2 are Ron’s subjective messages. Using the Descriptive Message space, rewrite each message using the seven char- acteristics of effective feedback presented earlier in this chapter. Pay partic- ular attention to writing a message that is both descriptive and based on facts or observable data.

�

DELIVERING COACHING FEEDBACK 85

xhibit 5–2 Coaching Do’s and Don’ts

Do Don’t

Focus on changeable behavior. Don’t talk about personality traits or personal style.

Start by positively affirming talents, gifts, and Don’t start with negatives or launch what the person is doing that works well. immediately into corrective feedback.

Take into account the coachee’s needs and Don’t ignore your own feelings and emotions your own needs. when speaking to coachees. If either of you is

upset or angry, wait before giving feedback.

State feedback clearly, then check for Don’t rush through the feedback without giving comprehension. the coachee time to digest and understand

what you are saying.

Give manageable amounts of feedback; if Don’t overload employees with too much there are several issues, focus on those that feedback. require immediate action.

Use observable data and factual information. Don’t use assumptions or generalizations.

Make it clear that a person has a choice about Don’t insist that the person agree with your acting on the feedback. feedback.

Now turn to Exhibit 5–3. It shows you what an effective message for Joanne would look like. Compare it to the message you crafted.

Preparing to Conduct Your Feedback Meeting Select someone to whom you need to give feedback. Then, based on what you learned from Exercise 5–2, complete Exercise 5–3. I recommend writ- ing out the Subjective message before crafting the Objective message that you will deliver. That’s because it sometimes helps to get down on paper unedited feedback. Read your subjective comments over, then decide how to deliver the feedback objectively.

Exercise 5-3: Designing Your Feedback Message. Subjective Message Descriptive Message

�

86 COACHING FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE

xhibit 5–3 What to Say to Joanne?

Subjective Message Descriptive Message

“This assignment was a stretch assignment; “When we agreed on the deadline, I asked if you didn’t appreciate how important it was to you had questions about the pilot due date or meet this deadline with a quality product.” the quality of what you had to deliver. You said

the development schedule was clear and you felt confident about delivering a high-quality pilot course.”

“You tend to overestimate your skills; you’re not “Course development requires both content realistic about what you can and cannot do.” knowledge and an ability to create a learning

experience that builds skills. This was a stretch assignment. Your content knowledge is good but you are inexperienced in creating a total learning experience.”

“Covering your failure by calling it a “I want you to talk with me when you have miscommunication shows a lack of problems completing an assignment. It doesn’t professionalism.” hurt your reputation as a consultant to ask for

help. But your reputation is damaged because we had to take over the project at the last minute to get it done.”

DELIVERING DIFFICULT FEEDBACK When is it most difficult for you to do a good job giving feedback? A public relations manager said to me, “Feedback is never easy for me to give but it’s particularly hard when I know it is going to be a difficult discussion. I tend to procrastinate and have a hard time saying what I most want to say.” I think all us can empathize with this manager’s feelings—it is tough to give good feedback in difficult situations. Let’s look at techniques for dealing with these feedback challenges. To begin, complete Exercise 5–4. It instructs you to think about a difficult feedback situation you are facing in your current work situation, and then answer the three questions.

Exercise 5–4: Giving Feedback to a Difficult Person Instructions: Think of a “challenging” person with whom you currently work. This could be a peer, a subordinate, or even your boss. It should be someone for whom an effective feedback conversation would be useful.

1. Describe the behavior that this person exhibits. Be specific.

2. What “labels” would you be tempted to use to describe this person (lazy, arrogant, always late, unmotivated, etc.)?

3. What have you tried so far in terms of dealing with the behavior?

Now look at Exhibit 5–4. It provides examples of how you can phrase feedback for a difficult person.

You can frame the feedback message in a way that is clear and descrip- tive by using statements that use:

• A specific example. It is always good to provide specific information in difficult feedback situations. For example, if you are talking with someone who denies there is a problem, or does not understand what needs to be different, giving the individual a specific example paints a picture.

• “If/then” statements. These statements clearly point out the conse- quences of an individual’s actions. If/then statements are particularly

�

DELIVERING COACHING FEEDBACK 87

effective when you want to let the coachee know what will happen if the problem is not addressed.

• “What I like about that is . . . and what I don’t like about that is . . .” state- ments. Framing the feedback in this way helps you give balanced feedback. Many times it is important to point out what went well in a given situation and contrast that with what needs to change.

88 COACHING FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE

xhibit 5–4 Framing Feedback Messages

Certain phrases help you frame your feedback message in ways that are more objective and descriptive, and that avoid “labeling.”

Use a Specific Example

“As a portfolio manager you need to do a better job listening to the concerns of our customers. For example, last week two customers expressed concern about their investments. When I asked you what you have done to resolve the issue, you said, “I haven’t gotten to it yet. Our commitment was to respond to them as soon as we could.”

If/Then

“If we can’t get agreement on how to realign your responsibilities, I can’t do anything about the excessive hours you are working. I need to know which projects you want to keep and those you want to hand off.”

What I like about that is . . . and what I don’t like is . . .

“I really like the fact that you are asking senior managers to give input on your project— it will build support as we move forward. What concerns me is that you were too general when you asked for input. I suggest you . . .”

When you . . . I feel . . . Because . . .

“When you agreed to let everyone know when you’re out of the office, and you don’t, like yes- terday, I feel frustrated because you’re not available and decisions get delayed.”

Behavior Impact

“I’ve been encouraging everyone to speak up in team meetings. I noticed that in today’s meet- ing you interrupted Liz. After your third interruption, she shut down and we never got to hear her ideas.”

What we agreed to is . . . and what’s happening is . . .

“You agreed to meet with me at 9:00 before our staff meeting. For the past two weeks, you’ve been unavailable when I came to your office for the meeting.”

• “When you . . . I feel . . . because” statements. In some coaching situations, you want the coachee to know how you feel. But you don’t want to launch into talking about your feelings without putting them in the proper con- text. These statements juxtapose the coachee’s behavior with your feelings about that behavior.

• Behavior impact statements. Impact statements provide a powerful description for the coachee. Coaches use this technique when individuals don’t understand the consequences or outcomes. For the individual receiv- ing the feedback, it provides a clearer understanding of why a change in attitude or behavior is essential.

• “What we agreed to is . . . and what is happening is . . .” statements. This is another way of framing the feedback to provide specific data. One of the reasons you want to end the coaching session with a commitment to action is to make sure you have an agreement about what the coachee will do. In instances where the coachee does not follow through, these statements allow you to remind the individual in a feedback session.

Now complete Exercise 5–5 by thinking about and writing out feedback messages using one or more of these phrases.

Exercise 5–5: Write Out Your Feedback Message Instructions: Think about phrases you might use to frame your feedback message:

JUST-IN-TIME FEEDBACK My friend Lisa teaches people how to make effective presentations. I’ve watched her lead training sessions and am amazed at the improvement peo- ple make during a six-hour workshop. I’m even more amazed as I watch her give feedback. It’s quick, it’s balanced, and it communicates a powerful, exact message in a simple way. I asked Lisa if she thought her approach would work for other types of feedback situations. She said, “I use three pieces of feedback: Things to Keep Doing, Things to Pay Attention to, and Things to Improve. It can be adapted to a variety of situations in which someone wants to give feedback.”

Here’s an example of this technique. I worked with a manager who had to deliver sensitive feedback to one of our consulting clients. Corey put in a lot of time preparing a written report and then developed a PowerPoint presentation. He had a short 30-minute client meeting. I played the role of the client and he practiced giving me the feedback he had to deliver. Using Lisa’s technique, this is the feedback I gave Corey:

�

DELIVERING COACHING FEEDBACK 89

Things to Keep Doing

• You made good strong opening comments. • You kept your comments short and focused. • You maintained good eye contact, especially when talking about the most

serious problems.

Things to Pay Attention To

• Watch the pace of the discussion; the comments were crisp but sometimes you seemed to rush.

• Make sure the client has the full report at least a week before your meet- ing; he has to read it before you meet.

• Be careful how much humor you use. The report is not good news and I don’t think you can lighten the mood with humor.

Things to Improve

• Keep your voice strong throughout the discussion. • Use more examples to illustrate your key points. • Don’t attribute any of the feedback to the people you interviewed.

One of the things I like about this technique is that it forces the coach to focus on more than just improvements. It makes you consider all aspects of performance, and think in specifics. Talking about strengths and weak- nesses is helpful, but there is a danger of lapsing into generalities. This approach forces you to ask, “How does this person need to be different, what is he or she doing that really works, and what are a few things to watch out for?”

Exercise 5–6: Providing Just-in-Time Feedback Instructions: Think about someone to whom you want to give some quick feedback and answer the following questions.

1. Describe the person and the situation.

2. List three things the person should keep doing.

�

90 COACHING FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE

3. List three things the person should improve.

4. List three things the person should pay attention to.

PEER FEEDBACK In the next chapter we examine how to use coaching to help teams grow and mature. But feedback can also build stronger teams as well as enhance each person’s contribution to the team. Every day a team changes in some way. Team members develop new skills, the team itself faces new challenges, change disrupts the team’s routine, etc. The leader must consider, “What’s the right approach for giving feedback to the team?” Savvy leaders like Taylor have this to say. “When team members provide feedback to one another, it is an opportunity for an individual to learn how he or she is per- ceived by peers. I work for a computer manufacturer. We’re responsible for doing product documentation. It’s too easy for words like “team” and “team- work” to become clichés—what do they really mean? Groups mature through awareness and learning. That’s why we use peer feedback. I can say the same thing but it has more impact when you hear it from your peers.”

Peer feedback focuses on what a team member does well and needs to do better. Because team members are often most responsive to what their peers say, peer feedback motivates the most meaningful behavior change. A team needs to work together for at least a year before you engage in peer feedback. You want to ensure all team members are comfortable with the process; this is critical to producing the best results.

Exercise 5–7: Individual Feedback Activity Instructions: This is a peer feedback group exercise you can do with your team. It is designed to give and receive feedback in a structured manner, and to guide individuals in working through issues and concerns. The eight steps are as follows: Step One. Decide the period of time you want the feedback to cover. Will it be annual, at the completion of a major project, etc. Explain that this is an opportunity for each person to share what he or she contributes to the team and get feedback from others that reaffirms self-perceptions and provides insight about how to contribute more.

�

DELIVERING COACHING FEEDBACK 91

Step Two. Talk with the group about how to give feedback. You can use the seven guidelines for effective feedback described in this chapter. Step Three. Ask team members to answer two questions:

“I see myself as a valuable member of the team because .” “I believe I could be more valuable to the team if I .”

If you are using the feedback activity to debrief a key project, you can mod- ify the questions:

“I believe I was a valuable member of the project team because ____________ .”

“I believe I could have been more valuable to the team on this project if I _____________ .”

Give people three to five minutes to write out their answers to these questions. Step Four. Ask for a volunteer to begin and give that person two or three minutes to answer both questions. Consider whether you want to participate in this exercise. If you do, lead off the discussion yourself by answering the two questions. Step Five. After the first volunteer has finished, ask each team member to spend three to five minutes giving feedback. Stipulate that those giving feed- back should introduce their comments with the phrase, “I see you . . .” Instruct them to talk first about the value the individual is providing and then describe what the person can do to be more valuable.

Repeat Steps Four and Five until everyone has had a chance to share his or her self-perception and get feedback from others. Step Six: Lead a summarizing discussion by asking three questions:

How close were your own self-perceptions to others’ perceptions of you? What kinds of traits, behaviors, and attitudes were cited as being of

greatest value? Were there any common themes?

If you have an opportunity, chart the common themes. Step Seven: After the discussion is complete, allow five to seven minutes for team members to review all the information they have heard. Ask everybody to decide which feedback items they want to address. Advise them to select no more than two items to work on over the next six months. Now, ask each person to share the selected items with the entire team. Go first and share the items you have selected. Step Eight: Conclude this feedback exercise by acknowledging the team for being willing to give feedback. Express your intention to follow through on the commitments you have made and your hope that each team member will do the same. Thank the group for their participation.

92 COACHING FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE

ASKING FOR FEEDBACK Before we leave this chapter, let’s talk about how to ask for feedback. Gia is a property manager for Baird and Warner. We were having coffee one day when she talked with me about the importance of asking for feedback. Gia said, “In any given year, I work with ten to fifteen property owners. You assume you’re doing a good job and then you get feedback that tells you oth- erwise. That taught me to ask for feedback.”

Have you ever had an experience like Gia’s? So often people tell me they want more feedback but don’t know how and when to ask for it. The fol- lowing sample questions provide suggestions about what you can ask to solicit feedback.

• What do you not like about the way I interact with you? • What do you think I could more of ? • What do you think I could do less of ? • What do you think I should stop doing? • What do you think I should keep doing? • What do I do that makes your job easier? • What do I do that makes your job more difficult? • What do you see as my strengths?

Exercise 5–8: Getting Feedback from Others

1. Think about how feedback from others could help you and select one or two questions you want to ask others. Write them down.

2. Decide from whom you want to get feedback.

3. How will you use the feedback you solicit? You want to be able to tell those from whom you are seeking feedback why you want this feedback.

�

DELIVERING COACHING FEEDBACK 93

Feedback provides the coachee with a fresh, objective lens. A coach steps back and watches how the coachee performs; their feedback enables us to take our performance to a new level.

Coaches must be ready to give feedback. To do this, gather your thoughts, wait until you can talk in person, and make sure you can talk in a private place. You also need to select an appropriate environment, set up the discussion, and

prepare notes to guide what you say. Feedback discussions are a means for learning, growth, and positive

change. Seven characteristics of effective feedback include helping the coachee see performance gaps, confronting blind spots, helping people learn from their mistakes and pinpointing areas for growth, providing descriptive rather than subjective and evaluative feedback, making sure feedback is timely, and celebrating small wins.

When delivering difficult feedback, it is important to provide specific examples, frame feedback with “if/then” statements, contrast what went well in a given situation with what needs to change, juxtapose the coachee’s behavior with your feelings in response to that behavior, make impact state- ments that illustrate the effects of the coachee’s behavior on others, and sum- marize what the coachee has agreed to do with what he or she has actually done.

Just-in-time feedback is a three-step process for delivering quick, bal- anced feedback. Coaches use it in the moment, and describe what the coachee needs to keep doing, to pay attention to, and to improve. This tech- nique forces the coach to focus on more than just improvements and think about all aspects of performance.

Peer feedback is a tool that helps build stronger teams as well as enhance each person’s contribution to the team. It is an eight-step system designed to give and receive feedback in a structured manner and guide individuals through issues and concerns.

It is important to know how and when to ask for feedback. Questions for eliciting feedback include:

• What do you like about the way I interact with you? • What do I do that makes your job more difficult? • What do you see as my strengths?

94 COACHING FOR HIGH PERFORMANCE

Review Questions

1. Coaches gather their thoughts before giving feedback, asking 1. (b) themselves: (a) How long do I want the feedback session to be? (b) Why am I delivering this feedback? (c) Who else has provided feedback? (d) Why do I need to provide positive feedback?

2. One of the characteristics of effective feedback is that: 2. (b) (a) it is general. (b) it enables people to learn from their mistakes. (c) it is highly personal. (d) it does not create an emotional response.

3. In using a peer feedback technique, one of the steps is 3. (a) deciding: (a) the period of time you want the feedback to cover. (b) how and when to involve those outside the team. (c) which team members to include and exclude. (d) how to let the team decide what it wants to ask.

4. When you solicit feedback from others, one question to ask 4. (d) is: (a) Why don’t you want to cooperate with me? (b) What is your motivation for giving me this feedback? (c) Do you feel you can be objective in giving me feedback? (d) What do you think I could do more of?

5. When delivering difficult feedback, it is important to: 5. (c) (a) give the coachee time to process the information. (b) take into accounts the coachee’s needs. (c) use an impact statement that shows the coachee the

consequences of his or her behavior on others. (d) make it clear the person has a choice about acting on

your feedback.

DELIVERING COACHING FEEDBACK 95

Do you have questions? Comments? Need clarification? Call Educational Services at 1-800-225-3215, ext. 600,

or email at [email protected].