ENG 121 Respond dis2

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classmatesrevision.docx

· Kristen Edwards

Thursday Jan 11 at 5:01pm

Hello Everyone,I have decided to a little revision to my entire essay. With some feedback I realize parts of my essay are in a negative stance in which I want to have a positive stance on. I have also incorporated more transition words in order to have my essay flow in a more coherent way. One technique I used was to give myself time for my essay, to work on this little by little. Walk away from time to time to have better insight when I came back to my essay. I also read this essay to a family member to have insight from someone whom has helped me through this experience. Attached is ms my revision checklist.Thank you,Kristen  

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Hello Everyone,

I have decided to a little revision to my entire essay. With some feedback I realize parts of my essay are in a negative stance in which I want to have a positive stance on. I have also incorporated more transition words in order to have my essay flow in a more coherent way. One technique I used was to give myself time for my essay, to work on this little by little. Walk away from time to time to have better insight when I came back to my essay. I also read this essay to a family member to have insight from someone whom has helped me through this experience. Attached is ms my revision checklist.

Thank you,

Kristen 

C:\Users\PAM\Documents\kristen_revision_checklist.docx

· Simone Doyle

Thursday Jan 11 at 6:57pm

Hello,After reviewing the checklist, and the feedback that I have received. I feel as though there are several parts that need improvements. I need to work on my opening paragraph by making this stronger it will make a more solid opening paragraph which may help bring the reader into my essay. This helps bring a strong foundation to my paper. The body of my essay needs more dialogue, which will help the reader feel what I was actually feeling.  While completing the checklist, I also realized that I need to revise my conclusion, the conclusion isn't exactly what I want it to be. I came to the conclusion that if I spend a certain amount of time on my paper, and then walk away, it will help me refocus on my paper. Hopefully bringing it all together. Thanks Simone

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· Go To Topic

Hello,

After reviewing the checklist, and the feedback that I have received. I feel as though there are several parts that need improvements. I need to work on my opening paragraph by making this stronger it will make a more solid opening paragraph which may help bring the reader into my essay. This helps bring a strong foundation to my paper. The body of my essay needs more dialogue, which will help the reader feel what I was actually feeling.  While completing the checklist, I also realized that I need to revise my conclusion, the conclusion isn't exactly what I want it to be. I came to the conclusion that if I spend a certain amount of time on my paper, and then walk away, it will help me refocus on my paper. Hopefully bringing it all together. 

Thanks 

Simone

C:\Users\PAM\Documents\simone_revision_checklist.docx