Unit V Scholarly Activity
11From Introductions to ConclusionsDrafting an Essay
In this chapter, we describe strategies for crafting introductions that set up your argument. We then describe the characteristics of well-formulated paragraphs that will help you build your argument. Finally, we provide you with some strategies for writing conclusions that reinforce what is new about your argument, what is at stake, and what readers should do with the knowledge you convey
DRAFTING INTRODUCTIONS
The introduction is where you set up your argument. It’s where you identify a widely held assumption, challenge that assumption, and state your thesis. Writers use a number of strategies to set up their arguments. In this section we look at five of them:
· Moving from a general topic to a specific thesis (inverted-triangle introduction)
· Introducing the topic with a story (narrative introduction)
· Beginning with a question (interrogative introduction)
· Capturing readers’ attention with something unexpected (paradoxical introduction)
· Identifying a gap in knowledge (minding-the-gap introduction)
Remember that an introduction need not be limited to a single paragraph. It may take several paragraphs to effectively set up your argument.
Keep in mind that you have to make these strategies your own. That is, we can suggest models, but you must make them work for your own argument. You must imagine your readers and what will engage them. What tone do you want to take? Playful? Serious? Formal? Urgent? The attitude you want to convey will depend on your purpose, your argument, and the needs of your audience.
◼ The Inverted-Triangle Introduction
An inverted-triangle introduction, like an upside-down triangle, is broad at the top and pointed at the base. It begins with a general statement of the topic and then narrows its focus, ending with the point of the paragraph (and the triangle), the writer’s thesis. We can see this strategy at work in the following introduction from a student’s essay. The student writer (1) begins with a broad description of the problem she will address, (2) then focuses on a set of widely held but troublesome assumptions, and (3) finally, presents her thesis in response to what she sees as a pervasive problem.
The paragraph reads, “In today’s world, many believe that education’s sole purpose is to communicate information for students to store and draw on as necessary. By storing this information, students hope to perform well on tests. Good test scores assure good grades. Good grades eventually lead to acceptances into good colleges, which ultimately guarantee good jobs. Many teachers and students, convinced that education exists as a tool to secure good jobs, rely on the banking system. In her essay “Teaching to Transgress,” bell hooks defines the banking system as an “approach to learning that is rooted in the notion that all students need to do is consume information fed to them by a professor and be able to memorize and store it” (185). Through the banking system, students focus solely on facts, missing the important themes and life lessons available in classes and school materials. The banking system misdirects the fundamental goals of education. Education’s true purpose is to prepare students for the real world by allowing them access to pertinent life knowledge available in their studies. Education should then entice students to apply this pertinent life knowledge to daily life struggles through praxis. In addition to her definition of the banking system, hooks offers the idea of praxis from the work of Paulo Freire. When incorporated into education, praxis, or “action and reflection upon the world in order to change it” (185), offers an advantageous educational tool that enhances the true purpose of education and overcomes the banking system.”
The annotation marking the sentences, “In today’s world, many believe that education’s sole purpose is to communicate information for students to store and draw on as necessary. By storing this information, students hope to perform well on tests. Good test scores assure good grades. Good grades eventually lead to acceptances into good colleges, which ultimately guarantee good jobs” reads, “The student begins with a general set of assumptions about education that she believes people readily accept.”
The annotation marking the sentences, “In her essay “Teaching to Transgress,” bell hooks defines the banking system as an “approach to learning that is rooted in the notion that all students need to do is consume information fed to them by a professor and be able to memorize and store it” (185)”
The annotation marking the sentences, “The banking system misdirects the fundamental goals of education. Education’s true purpose is to prepare students for the real world by allowing them access to pertinent life knowledge available in their studies. Education should then entice students to apply this pertinent life knowledge to daily life struggles through praxis. In addition to her definition of the banking system, hooks offers the idea of praxis from the work of Paulo Freire. When incorporated into education, praxis, or “action and reflection upon the world in order to change it” (185), offers an advantageous educational…” reads, “The student then points to the banking system as the problem. This sets up her thesis about the “true purpose” of education.”
The paragraph reads, “In today’s world, many believe that education’s sole purpose is to communicate information for students to store and draw on as necessary. By storing this information, students hope to perform well on tests. Good test scores assure good grades. Good grades eventually lead to acceptances into good colleges, which ultimately guarantee good jobs. Many teachers and students, convinced that education exists as a tool to secure good jobs, rely on the banking system. In her essay “Teaching to Transgress,” bell hooks defines the banking system as an “approach to learning that is rooted in the notion that all students need to do is consume information fed to them by a professor and be able to memorize and store it” (185). Through the banking system, students focus solely on facts, missing the important themes and life lessons available in classes and school materials. The banking system misdirects the fundamental goals of education. Education’s true purpose is to prepare students for the real world by allowing them access to pertinent life knowledge available in their studies. Education should then entice students to apply this pertinent life knowledge to daily life struggles through praxis. In addition to her definition of the banking system, hooks offers the idea of praxis from the work of Paulo Freire. When incorporated into education, praxis, or “action and reflection upon the world in order to change it” (185), offers an advantageous educational tool that enhances the true purpose of education and overcomes the banking system.”
The annotation marking the sentences, “In today’s world, many believe that education’s sole purpose is to communicate information for students to store and draw on as necessary. By storing this information, students hope to perform well on tests. Good test scores assure good grades. Good grades eventually lead to acceptances into good colleges, which ultimately guarantee good jobs” reads, “The student begins with a general set of assumptions about education that she believes people readily accept.”
The annotation marking the sentences, “In her essay “Teaching to Transgress,” bell hooks defines the banking system as an “approach to learning that is rooted in the notion that all students need to do is consume information fed to them by a professor and be able to memorize and store it” (185)”
The annotation marking the sentences, “The banking system misdirects the fundamental goals of education. Education’s true purpose is to prepare students for the real world by allowing them access to pertinent life knowledge available in their studies. Education should then entice students to apply this pertinent life knowledge to daily life struggles through praxis. In addition to her definition of the banking system, hooks offers the idea of praxis from the work of Paulo Freire. When incorporated into education, praxis, or “action and reflection upon the world in order to change it” (185), offers an advantageous educational…” reads, “The student then points to the banking system as the problem. This sets up her thesis about the “true purpose” of education.”
The strategy of writing an introduction as an inverted triangle entails first identifying an idea, an argument, or a concept that people appear to accept as true; next, pointing out the problems with that idea, argument, or concept; and then, in a few sentences, setting out a thesis — how those problems can be resolved.
◼ The Narrative Introduction
Opening with a short narrative, or story, is a strategy many writers use successfully to draw readers into a topic. A narrative introduction relates a sequence of events and can be especially effective if you think you need to coax indifferent or reluctant readers into taking an interest in the topic. Of course, a narrative introduction delays the declaration of your argument, so it’s wise to choose a short story that clearly connects to your argument, and get to the thesis as quickly as possible (within a few paragraphs) before your readers start wondering “What’s the point of this story?”
Notice how the student writer uses a narrative introduction to her argument in her essay titled “Throwing a Punch at Gender Roles: How Women’s Boxing Empowers Women.”
The first paragraph reads, “Glancing at my watch, I ran into the gym, noting to myself that being late to the first day of boxing practice was not the right way to make a good first impression. I flew down the stairs into the basement, to the room the boxers have lovingly dubbed “The Pit.” What greeted me when I got there was more than I could ever have imagined. Picture a room filled with boxing gloves of all sizes covering an entire wall, a mirror covering another, a boxing ring in a corner, and an awesome collection of framed newspaper and magazine articles chronicling the boxers whose pictures were hanging on every wall. Now picture that room with seventy-plus girls on the floor doing push-ups, sweat dripping down their faces. I was immediately struck by the discipline this sport would take from me, but I had no idea I would take so much more from it.”
The annotation for this sentence reads, “The student’s entire first paragraph is a narrative that takes us into the world of women’s boxing and foreshadows her thesis.”
The second paragraph reads, “The university offers the only nonmilitary-based college-level women’s boxing program in America, and it also offers women the chance to push their physical limits in a regulated environment. Yet the program is plagued with disappointments. I have experienced for myself the stereotypes female boxers face and have dealt with the harsh reality that boxing is still widely recognized as only a men’s sport. This paper will show that the women’s boxing program at Notre Dame serves as a much-needed outlet for females to come face-to-face with”
The annotation for this paragraph reads, “With her narrative as a backdrop, the student identifies a problem, using the transition word “yet” to mark her challenge to the conditions she observes in the university’s women’s boxing program.”
The first paragraph reads, “Glancing at my watch, I ran into the gym, noting to myself that being late to the first day of boxing practice was not the right way to make a good first impression. I flew down the stairs into the basement, to the room the boxers have lovingly dubbed “The Pit.” What greeted me when I got there was more than I could ever have imagined. Picture a room filled with boxing gloves of all sizes covering an entire wall, a mirror covering another, a boxing ring in a corner, and an awesome collection of framed newspaper and magazine articles chronicling the boxers whose pictures were hanging on every wall. Now picture that room with seventy-plus girls on the floor doing push-ups, sweat dripping down their faces. I was immediately struck by the discipline this sport would take from me, but I had no idea I would take so much more from it.”
The annotation for this sentence reads, “The student’s entire first paragraph is a narrative that takes us into the world of women’s boxing and foreshadows her thesis.”
The second paragraph reads, “The university offers the only nonmilitary-based college-level women’s boxing program in America, and it also offers women the chance to push their physical limits in a regulated environment. Yet the program is plagued with disappointments. I have experienced for myself the stereotypes female boxers face and have dealt with the harsh reality that boxing is still widely recognized as only a men’s sport. This paper will show that the women’s boxing program at Notre Dame serves as a much-needed outlet for females to come face-to-face with”
The annotation for this paragraph reads, “With her narrative as a backdrop, the student identifies a problem, using the transition word “yet” to mark her challenge to the conditions she observes in the university’s women’s boxing program.”
The paragraph reads, “…aspects of themselves they would not typically get a chance to explore. It will also examine how viewing this sport as a positive opportunity for women at ND indicates that there is growing hope that very soon more activities similar to women’s boxing may be better received by society in general. I will accomplish these goals by analyzing scholarly journals, old Observer [the school newspaper] articles, and survey questions answered by the captains of the 20-- women’s boxing team of ND.”
The annotation for this sentence reads, “The writer then states her thesis (what her paper “will show”): Despite the problems of stereotyping, women’s boxing offers women significant opportunities for growth.”
The paragraph reads, “…aspects of themselves they would not typically get a chance to explore. It will also examine how viewing this sport as a positive opportunity for women at ND indicates that there is growing hope that very soon more activities similar to women’s boxing may be better received by society in general. I will accomplish these goals by analyzing scholarly journals, old Observer [the school newspaper] articles, and survey questions answered by the captains of the 20-- women’s boxing team of ND.”
The annotation for this sentence reads, “The writer then states her thesis (what her paper “will show”): Despite the problems of stereotyping, women’s boxing offers women significant opportunities for growth.”
The student writer uses a visually descriptive narrative to introduce us to the world of women’s college boxing; then, in the second paragraph, she steers us toward the purpose of the paper and the methods she will use to develop her argument about what women’s boxing offers to young women and to the changing world of sports.
◼ The Interrogative Introduction
An interrogative introduction invites readers into the conversation of your essay by asking one or more questions, which the essay goes on to answer. You want to think of a question that will pique your readers’ interest, enticing them to read on to discover how your insights shed light on the issue. Notice the question Daphne Spain, a professor of urban and environmental planning, uses to open her essay “Spatial Segregation and Gender Stratification in the Workplace.”
The paragraph reads, “To what extent do women and men who work in different occupations also work in different space? Baran and Teegarden propose that occupational segregation in the insurance industry is “tantamount to spatial segregation by gender” since managers are overwhelmingly male and clerical staff are predominantly female. This essay examines the spatial conditions of women’s work and men’s work and proposes that working women and men come into daily contact with one another very infrequently. Further, women’s jobs can be classified as “open floor,” but men’s jobs are more likely to be “closed door.” That is, women work in a more public environment with less control of their space than men. This lack of spatial control both reflects and contributes to women’s lower occupational status by limiting opportunities for the transfer of knowledge from men to women.”
The annotation for the sentences, “To what extent do women and men who work in different occupations also work in different space? Baran and Tee garden propose that occupational segregation in the insurance industry is “tantamount to spatial segregation by gender” since managers are overwhelmingly male and clerical staff are predominantly female” reads, “Spain sets up her argument by asking a question and then tentatively answering it with a reference to a published study.”
The annotation for the sentences, “In the third sentence, she states her thesis – that men and women have very little contact in the workplace” reads, “That is, women work in a more public environment with less control of their space than men. This lack of spatial control both reflects and contributes to women’s lower occupational status by limiting opportunities for the transfer of knowledge from men to women.”
The paragraph reads, “To what extent do women and men who work in different occupations also work in different space? Baran and Teegarden propose that occupational segregation in the insurance industry is “tantamount to spatial segregation by gender” since managers are overwhelmingly male and clerical staff are predominantly female. This essay examines the spatial conditions of women’s work and men’s work and proposes that working women and men come into daily contact with one another very infrequently. Further, women’s jobs can be classified as “open floor,” but men’s jobs are more likely to be “closed door.” That is, women work in a more public environment with less control of their space than men. This lack of spatial control both reflects and contributes to women’s lower occupational status by limiting opportunities for the transfer of knowledge from men to women.”
The annotation for the sentences, “To what extent do women and men who work in different occupations also work in different space? Baran and Tee garden propose that occupational segregation in the insurance industry is “tantamount to spatial segregation by gender” since managers are overwhelmingly male and clerical staff are predominantly female” reads, “Spain sets up her argument by asking a question and then tentatively answering it with a reference to a published study.”
The annotation for the sentences, “In the third sentence, she states her thesis – that men and women have very little contact in the workplace” reads, “That is, women work in a more public environment with less control of their space than men. This lack of spatial control both reflects and contributes to women’s lower occupational status by limiting opportunities for the transfer of knowledge from men to women.”
By the end of this introductory paragraph, Spain has explained some of the terms she will use in her essay (open floor and closed door) and has offered in her final sentence a clear statement of her thesis.
In “Harry Potter and the Technology of Magic,” literature scholar Elizabeth Teare begins by contextualizing the Harry Potter publishing phenomenon. Then she raises a question about what fueled this success story.
The paragraph reads, “The July/August 2001 issue of Book lists J. K. Rowling as one of the ten most influential people in publishing. She shares space on this list with John Grisham and Oprah Winfrey, along with less famous but equally powerful insiders in the book industry. What these industry leaders have in common is an almost magical power to make books succeed in the marketplace, and this magic, in addition to that performed with wands, Rowling’s novels appear to practice. Opening weekend sales charted like those of a blockbuster movie (not to mention the blockbuster movie itself), the reconstruction of the venerable New York Times bestseller lists, the creation of a new nation’s worth of web sites in the territory of cyberspace, and of course the legendary inspiration of tens of millions of child readers – the Harry Potter books have transformed both the technologies of reading and the way we understand those technologies. What is it that makes these books – about a lonely boy whose first act on learning he is a wizard is to go shopping for a wand – not only an international phenomenon among children and parents and teachers but also a topic of compelling interest to literary, social, and cultural critics? I will argue that the stories the books tell, as well as the stories we’re telling about them, enact both our fantasies and our fears of children’s literature and publishing in the context of twenty-first-century commercial and technological culture.”
The annotation for the sentences, “The July/August 2001 issue of Book lists J. K. Rowling as one of the ten most influential people in publishing. She shares space on this list with John Grisham and Oprah Winfrey, along with less famous but equally powerful insiders in the book industry. What these industry leaders have in common is an almost magical power to make books succeed in the marketplace, and this magic, in addition to that performed with wands, Rowling’s novels appear to practice. Opening weekend sales charted like those of a blockbuster movie (not to mention the blockbuster movie itself), the reconstruction of the venerable New York Times bestseller lists, the creation of a new nation’s worth of web sites in the territory of cyberspace, and of course the legendary inspiration of tens of millions of child readers – the Harry Potter books have transformed both the technologies of reading and the way we understand those technologies” reads, “In her first four sentences, Teare describes something she is curious about and she hopes readers will be curious about – the growing popularity of the Harry Potter books.”
The annotation for the sentence, “What is it that makes these books – about a lonely boy whose first act on learning he is a wizard is to go shopping for a wand – not only an international phenomenon among children and parents and teachers but also a topic of compelling interest to literary, social, and cultural critics?” reads, “In the fifth sentence, Teare asks the question she will try to answer in the rest of the essay.”
The annotation for the sentence, “I will argue that the stories the books tell, as well as the stories we’re telling about them, enact both our fantasies and our fears of children’s literature and publishing in the context of twenty-first-century commercial and technological culture” reads, “Finally, in the last sentence, Teare offers a partial answer to her question – her thesis.”
The paragraph reads, “The July/August 2001 issue of Book lists J. K. Rowling as one of the ten most influential people in publishing. She shares space on this list with John Grisham and Oprah Winfrey, along with less famous but equally powerful insiders in the book industry. What these industry leaders have in common is an almost magical power to make books succeed in the marketplace, and this magic, in addition to that performed with wands, Rowling’s novels appear to practice. Opening weekend sales charted like those of a blockbuster movie (not to mention the blockbuster movie itself), the reconstruction of the venerable New York Times bestseller lists, the creation of a new nation’s worth of web sites in the territory of cyberspace, and of course the legendary inspiration of tens of millions of child readers – the Harry Potter books have transformed both the technologies of reading and the way we understand those technologies. What is it that makes these books – about a lonely boy whose first act on learning he is a wizard is to go shopping for a wand – not only an international phenomenon among children and parents and teachers but also a topic of compelling interest to literary, social, and cultural critics? I will argue that the stories the books tell, as well as the stories we’re telling about them, enact both our fantasies and our fears of children’s literature and publishing in the context of twenty-first-century commercial and technological culture.”
The annotation for the sentences, “The July/August 2001 issue of Book lists J. K. Rowling as one of the ten most influential people in publishing. She shares space on this list with John Grisham and Oprah Winfrey, along with less famous but equally powerful insiders in the book industry. What these industry leaders have in common is an almost magical power to make books succeed in the marketplace, and this magic, in addition to that performed with wands, Rowling’s novels appear to practice. Opening weekend sales charted like those of a blockbuster movie (not to mention the blockbuster movie itself), the reconstruction of the venerable New York Times bestseller lists, the creation of a new nation’s worth of web sites in the territory of cyberspace, and of course the legendary inspiration of tens of millions of child readers – the Harry Potter books have transformed both the technologies of reading and the way we understand those technologies” reads, “In her first four sentences, Teare describes something she is curious about and she hopes readers will be curious about – the growing popularity of the Harry Potter books.”
The annotation for the sentence, “What is it that makes these books – about a lonely boy whose first act on learning he is a wizard is to go shopping for a wand – not only an international phenomenon among children and parents and teachers but also a topic of compelling interest to literary, social, and cultural critics?” reads, “In the fifth sentence, Teare asks the question she will try to answer in the rest of the essay.”
The annotation for the sentence, “I will argue that the stories the books tell, as well as the stories we’re telling about them, enact both our fantasies and our fears of children’s literature and publishing in the context of twenty-first-century commercial and technological culture” reads, “Finally, in the last sentence, Teare offers a partial answer to her question – her thesis.”
In the final two sentences of the introduction, Teare raises her question about the root of this “international phenomenon” and then offers her thesis. By the end of the opening paragraph, then, the reader knows exactly what question is driving Teare’s essay and the answer she proposes to explain throughout the essay.
◼ The Paradoxical Introduction
A paradoxical introduction appeals to readers’ curiosity by pointing out an aspect of the topic that runs counter to their expectations. Just as an interrogative introduction draws readers in by asking a question, a paradoxical introduction draws readers in by saying, in effect, “Here’s something completely surprising and unlikely about this issue, but my essay will go on to show you how it is true.” In this passage from “ ‘Holding Back’: Negotiating a Glass Ceiling on Women’s Muscular Strength,” sociologist Shari L. Dworkin points to a paradox in our commonsense understanding of bodies as the product of biology, not culture.
The paragraph reads, “Current work in gender studies points to how “when examined closely, much of what we take for granted about gender and its causes and effects either does not hold up, or can be explained differently.” These arguments become especially contentious when confronting nature/ culture debates on gendered bodies. After all, “common sense” frequently tells us that flesh and blood bodies are about biology. However, bodies are also shaped and constrained through cumulative social practices, structures of opportunity, wider cultural meanings, and more. Paradoxically, then, when we think that we are “really seeing” naturally sexed bodies, perhaps we are seeing the effect of internalizing gender ideologies – carrying out social practices – and this constructs our vision of “sexed” bodies.”
The annotation for the sentence, “Current work in gender studies points to how “when examined closely, much of what we take for granted about gender and its causes and effects either does not hold up, or can be explained differently”” reads, “In the first sentence, Dworkin quotes from a study to identify the thinking that she is going to challenge.”
The annotation for the sentence, “However, bodies are also shaped and constrained through cumulative social practices, structures of opportunity, wider cultural meanings, and more” reads, “Notice how Dworkin signals her own position “However” relative to commonly held assumptions.”
The annotation for the sentence, “Paradoxically, then, when we think that we are “really seeing” naturally sexed bodies, perhaps we are seeing the effect of internalizing gender ideologies – carrying out social practices – and this constructs our vision of “sexed” bodies” reads, “Dworkin ends by stating her thesis, noting a paradox that will surprise readers.”
The paragraph reads, “Current work in gender studies points to how “when examined closely, much of what we take for granted about gender and its causes and effects either does not hold up, or can be explained differently.” These arguments become especially contentious when confronting nature/ culture debates on gendered bodies. After all, “common sense” frequently tells us that flesh and blood bodies are about biology. However, bodies are also shaped and constrained through cumulative social practices, structures of opportunity, wider cultural meanings, and more. Paradoxically, then, when we think that we are “really seeing” naturally sexed bodies, perhaps we are seeing the effect of internalizing gender ideologies – carrying out social practices – and this constructs our vision of “sexed” bodies.”
The annotation for the sentence, “Current work in gender studies points to how “when examined closely, much of what we take for granted about gender and its causes and effects either does not hold up, or can be explained differently”” reads, “In the first sentence, Dworkin quotes from a study to identify the thinking that she is going to challenge.”
The annotation for the sentence, “However, bodies are also shaped and constrained through cumulative social practices, structures of opportunity, wider cultural meanings, and more” reads, “Notice how Dworkin signals her own position “However” relative to commonly held assumptions.”
The annotation for the sentence, “Paradoxically, then, when we think that we are “really seeing” naturally sexed bodies, perhaps we are seeing the effect of internalizing gender ideologies – carrying out social practices – and this constructs our vision of “sexed” bodies” reads, “Dworkin ends by stating her thesis, noting a paradox that will surprise readers.”
Dworkin’s strategy in the first three sentences is to describe common practice, the understanding that bodies are biological. Then, in the sentences beginning “However” and “Paradoxically,” she advances the surprising idea that our bodies — not just the clothes we wear, for example — carry cultural gender markers. Her essay then goes on to examine women’s weight lifting and the complex motives driving many women to create a body that is perceived as muscular but not masculine.
◼ The Minding-the-Gap Introduction
This type of introduction takes its name from the British train system, the voice on the loudspeaker that intones “Mind the gap!” at every stop, to call riders’ attention to the gap between the train car and the platform. In a minding-the-gap introduction, a writer calls readers’ attention to a gap in the research on an issue and then uses the rest of the essay to fill in the “gap.” A minding-the-gap introduction says, in effect, “Wait a minute. There’s something missing from this conversation, and my research and ideas will fill in this gap.”
For example, in the introductory paragraphs to their book Men’s Lives, Michael S. Kimmel and Michael A. Messner explain how the book is different from other books that discuss men’s lives, and how it serves a different purpose.
The first paragraph reads, “This is a book about men. But, unlike other books about men, which line countless library shelves, this is a book about men as men. It is a book in which men’s experiences are not taken for granted as we explore the “real” and significant accomplishments of men, but a book in which those experiences are treated as significant and important in themselves.”
The annotation for this sentence reads, “The authors begin with an assumption and then challenge it. A transition word “but” signals the challenge.”
The second paragraph reads, “But what does it mean to examine men “as men”? Most courses in a college curriculum are about men, aren’t they? But these courses routinely deal with men only in their public roles, so we come to know and understand men as scientists, politicians, military figures, writers, and philosophers. Rarely, if ever, are men understood through the prism of gender.”
The annotation for this paragraph, “The authors follow with a question that provokes readers’ interest and points to the gap they summarize in the last sentence”
The first paragraph reads, “This is a book about men. But, unlike other books about men, which line countless library shelves, this is a book about men as men. It is a book in which men’s experiences are not taken for granted as we explore the “real” and significant accomplishments of men, but a book in which those experiences are treated as significant and important in themselves.”
The annotation for this sentence reads, “The authors begin with an assumption and then challenge it. A transition word “but” signals the challenge.”
The second paragraph reads, “But what does it mean to examine men “as men”? Most courses in a college curriculum are about men, aren’t they? But these courses routinely deal with men only in their public roles, so we come to know and understand men as scientists, politicians, military figures, writers, and philosophers. Rarely, if ever, are men understood through the prism of gender.”
The annotation for this paragraph, “The authors follow with a question that provokes readers’ interest and points to the gap they summarize in the last sentence”
Kimmel and Messner use these opening paragraphs to highlight both what they find problematic about the existing literature on men and to introduce readers to their own approach.
Steps to Drafting Introductions: Five Strategies
1. Use an inverted triangle. Begin with a broad situation, concept, or idea, and narrow the focus to your thesis.
2. Begin with a narrative. Capture readers’ imagination and interest with a story that sets the stage for your argument.
3. Ask a question that you will answer. Provoke readers’ interest with a question, and then use your thesis to answer the question.
4. Present a paradox. Begin with an assumption that readers accept as true, and formulate a thesis that not only challenges that assumption but may very well seem paradoxical.
5. Mind the gap. Identify what readers know and then what they don’t know (or what you believe they need to know).
A Practice Sequence: Drafting an Introduction
1. Write or rewrite your introduction (which, as you’ve seen, may involve more than one paragraph), using one of the five drafting strategies discussed in this chapter. Then share your introduction with one of your peers and ask the following questions:
· To what extent did the strategy compel you to want to read further?
· To what extent is my thesis clear?
· How effectively do I draw a distinction between what I believe others assume to be true and my own approach?
· Is there another way that I might have made my introduction more compelling?
After listening to the responses, try a second strategy and then ask your peer which introduction is more effective.
2. If you do not have your own introduction to work on, revise the introduction below from a student’s essay, combining two of the five drafting strategies we’ve discussed in this chapter.
News correspondent Pauline Frederick once commented, “When a man gets up to speak people listen then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.” Ironically, the harsh reality of this statement is given life by the ongoing controversy over America’s most recognizable and sometimes notorious toy, Barbie. Celebrating her fortieth birthday this year, Barbie has become this nation’s most beleaguered soldier (a woman no less) of idolatry who has been to the front lines and back more times than the average “Joe.” This doll, a piece of plastic, a toy, incurs both criticism and praise spanning both ends of the ideological spectrum. Barbie’s curvaceous and basically unrealistic body piques the ire of both liberals and conservatives, each contending that Barbie stands for the distinct view of the other. One hundred and eighty degrees south, others praise Barbie’s (curves and all) ability to unlock youthful imagination and potential. M. G. Lord explains Barbie best: “To study Barbie, one sometimes has to hold seemingly contradictory ideas in one’s head at the same time. . . . The doll functions like a Rorschach test: people project wildly dissimilar and often opposing meanings on it. . . . And her meaning, like her face, has not been static over time.” In spite of the extreme polarity, a sole unconscious consensus manifests itself about Barbie. Barbie is “the icon” of womanhood and the twentieth century. She is the American dream. Barbie is “us.” The question is always the same: What message does Barbie send? Barbie is a toy. She is what we see.