mini essay

Family bonds have kept Chinese society tied together throughout its long and difficult history. Family relationships and obligations became the model for all other social structures.

Worshipping our ancestor is very important.

Filial obedience is more important than my own feelings.

Of course you should listen to your parents. They're never wrong.

But this century has seen the family under assault in China as never before. The collapse of the old imperial structure in 1911 and the arrival of Communist China in 1949 smashed many time-honored family codes.

Men are superior to women.

Men are always in charge of things outside the home.

A husband is master of his wife.

Then for a moment, with the advent of the commune, it even seemed that the family itself might be abolished. More recently, the families had to cope with the one child policy, a piece of social engineering whose consequences are still only to be guessed at.

Today, the family faces renewed pressures for change.

Not a place for decent people.

You still a virgin?

Drugs are very serious in Shanghai.

I chose heroin for my life.

I don't give a damn what my parents think.

Anhui province in central China. The Zheng family is typical of this area. They are four generations living alongside each other. This has always been the ideal Chinese family. The more members, the more prosperous it's thought to be. Although the area is still relatively poor, life has changed markedly for the better over the past 20 years. The trappings of modern life are beginning to make

themselves felt. But inwardly, peasant farming families continue the traditions that their forbears have followed for countless generations.

The three Zheng brothers and their wives help each other in all their communal undertakings. The strength of the united family is vital to their lives.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

We three brothers and our families are united. Whatever we do, we do it together. When plowing or spreading fertilizer, we always help each other.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Because we're united, our good reputation travels far and wide. Everyone knows this and admires us. In the past, we were humiliated when we didn't unite. This rule applies to both family and state-- families insulted by neighbors, countries bullied by other states.

The primary school day begins with devotion to the country. Education has always been central in the preparation of family values. Today's values vary little from the distant past. For the past half century, the only additions have been socialist.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Our greatest aim and dream in life is the realization of communism. To produce healthy children, it is essential to build socialism in our motherland.

The past has always been as important as the present to the Chinese.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Children learn about the hardships their ancestors experienced. This poem was written during Tang dynasty 1,200 years ago.

[SINGING IN CHINESE]

Another 1,000 years before the Tang dynasty, the sage, Confucius, laid out a set of ideals that was to provide the glue that would hold Chinese society together. Confucian instructions about an individual's duties and position in family and society were simple and quite specific-- the father's love and the son's filial piety, the elder brother's kindness and the younger brother's obedience, the

husband's dutifulness and the wife's compliance. Likewise, the four virtues a woman should traditionally possess were to be obedient, be gentle in speech, be kind looking, and be good at needlework and weaving.

Although the Zheng family know little about Confucius and his teachings, they embody and follow these unconsciously.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I'm the eldest, so I should be their model and look after them. We should be close.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

We two should listen to our eldest brother. We should respect him and do what he says.

I listen to and obey both of them. If I do anything wrong, they can slap me, and I don't dare react. First, we have to obey our parents. If they're not at home, we obey our eldest brothers.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Men are always in charge of things outside the home. Women stay at home doing the cleaning, washing, cooking, and other housework, as well as feeding chickens and bringing up children.

Women have to obey men. Because they have long hair, they have very short vision.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

A husband is master of his wife. A father is master of his sons. And an emperor is master of all his subjects. It means that a wife has to obey her husband.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

In the village, men are superior to women. It's as simple as that.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Women rely on their parents before marriage, rely on their husbands after marriage, and rely on their sons when their husbands die.

This traditional extended family with its Confucian ideals was socially beneficial. It produced a secure, stable family with collective responsibility that extended all the way up to the ruler. These ideals were

transmitted and reinforced through writing.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

These characters are tolerance, compromise, modesty, and harmony. This is everyone's aim. If we can achieve these, we'll all be perfect.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

They give people a guide as to how we should live. We should also teach and train our children with these four characters.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

But it's very difficult to achieve these ideals.

Throughout Chinese history, boys were favored over girls. More than 2,500 years ago, the Book of Odes recorded, when a son is born, dress him in fine cloth, lie him in bed, and let him play with jade. With a daughter, wrap her in crude cloth, lie her on the ground, and let her play with broken tiles.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Why is having a son more important in the countryside? Because sons continue the family line. Sons take care of us when we get old.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Village girls will belong to other families when they get married. And she then has to take care of her future husband's parents.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

When I was pregnant, I really wanted a son, but I had a daughter. When he came back home, I told him we had a girl. He pretend that he was pleased, but I knew in his heart he wanted a son.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

In this and many parts of rural China, the local one child policy allows a second child if the first is a girl.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

If the baby had been another girl, we'd have abandoned her and gone into hiding to have a boy. Yeah, run away and hidden. We'd have let the authorities pull our house down, take all our things. We would still have wanted a boy. When my second child was a son, I was over the moon. The stone in my heart had finally dropped to the floor. I was so happy.

In cities across China, such as here in fast-growing Shanghai, having sons is no longer so important an issue. It's 20 years since China introduced its one child policy, and the first generation of single children is reaching adulthood. This has presented the country with unique problems.

Du Pingying lives in an apartment in the center of Shanghai. She has recently retired from her job as a shop assistant. Her only child is Wang Yihao, now 18, the focus of Du Pingying's life.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

We moved into this flat when the child was 15 months old. When he was little, three of us slept int the same bed.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Now that he's older, the flat is a bit cramped. When he wants to practice singing, we aren't allowed to speak. When he does his recording, we can't make any noise at all. Everything's for his future. Everything's for him. When his father went to the States, Wang Yihao was only 10.

Father Wang Wenyao was away for five years. They were difficult times for mother and son.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

When I was a primary student, I was a little conceited and always had fights. I was naughty and played practical jokes. My teachers thought I was a pain in the neck.

On his return from America, Wang Wenyao set up a hearing aid business that supplies modern equipment across China. In Shanghai, he has a clinic alongside the ear, nose, and throat hospital. It's moderate success has recently allowed him to buy a new apartment on the outskirts of Shanghai. Wang Yihao doesn't know how lucky he is. The new three bedroom apartment not only gives his parents and him their own bedrooms. He has also been given a room as his study and studio.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

When I came back from America, I felt that I didn't really know him any longer. Before I left, we were very close. I used to hug and kiss him. And he was really happy. When I returned, he'd already grown up. that.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I wanted to hug and kiss him, but he pushed me away.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I asked him to work and study hard, but he just ignored me. I really found it difficult to take.

Matters came to a head as Wang Yihao's schooling ended. Every year across China, millions of children and parents alike experience three stressful days in early July. Children sit their vital university entrance examinations that will decide their futures. But this year, one person was missing.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I think the Chinese education system doesn't focus on the individual. It treats us like an army. The goal is to study, get into university, and go to work. It's like training an army to go to war. So I didn't take the university entrance exam. The reason was simple. I loathe the Chinese education system.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I was very angry when he decided not to take the entrance exam. I put all my hopes into him, but he just didn't do what I wanted him to.

Wang Wenyao is especially unhappy his son didn't even try for university. He missed his own chance as a result of the Cultural Revolution.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

To be honest, I feel as though I've lost face. I have friends and colleagues whose children all go to university, my relatives and their children too. But he didn't want to try. Now he's even got red hair and wears an earring. How can I not feel ashamed?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

My decision in not taking university entrance exams was completely my own. I know that it might

have been a blow to my parents, but I didn't take their view into consideration.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

What he did was not an act of filial piety. He just didn't listen to us.

Being obedient to your parents' wishes and showing filial respect-- xiao-- is the foundation of Chinese family life. The original form of the character xiao is revealing. It shows an old person being supported by a child on whom he or she leans. The opening section of the Xiao Jing, the canon of filial piety, written some 2,000 years ago says, our very body, hair, and skin come from our parents, and we should not dare to harm or injure them in any way. That is how filial piety begins. Here, everything belongs to your parents, and you are expected to obey without question.

In Anhui, the Zhengs' cousin, Zhao Xiaohai is visiting. His parents are keen to see him married, but he's having difficulty deciding between two girls. His family gives advice. Privacy is not a concept that has arrived here yet.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Are you going to listen to your mother?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I don't think I have a choice. I have to listen to her. She's already spent lots of money on wedding gifts.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Which one do you prefer?

I really don't know.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Of course you should listen to your parents. They're never wrong. Never wrong.

Traditionally, the personal likings of the couple have played little role in the Chinese marriage. Families make arrangements, and the couple does what they're told. The Zheng wives blame big city temptations for Xiaohai's dilemma.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

He still has to obey his mother. I asked him if he's going to get married. He said they've told him to, but he's not sure he wants to. I asked him of the two he liked. I asked him if he preferred the city girl. He said the city girl might be difficult to control. The one from the countryside would be easier and more obedient.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

If Xiaohai hadn't gone to town, he would already have married, and perhaps have a child. The city has more temptations than the countryside.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

But I don't feel anything for her.

Once you're married, your parents will be happy. You'll have a son, make some money. Then you will be happy as well.

My parents are forcing me.

It doesn't matter if you're not filial to your elders. The most important thing is what you feel for each other. Otherwise, you'll keep fighting well after you get married. Remember, you'll be with your wife longer than your parents.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

If you're not filial and loyal to your parents, what will that make of you? You won't be human anymore. I

Xiaohai seems to have forgotten the lessons he once received at his grandmother's feet.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

At 93, she came from a time when girls still had their feet bound.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Wang Xiao was only seven. He was a filial son.

Her cautionary moral tales still fascinate the little Zheng children. They're the Chinese equivalent of

Aesop's fables.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Wang Xiao needed fish soup to make his mum better. It was winter, and the river was frozen over. So he lay down the ice and used his body to melt a hole. A big fish jumped out, and he took it home. Can you do that? Hm?

Moral education continues at school.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

30% of the Zheng village is illiterate. This is double the national average but down from 80% when new China began 50 years ago. Villagers are keen to have their children educated. They built and funded this school. However, few country children continue schooling beyond 15.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

When I reached school age, mum wanted me to go to school. So when dad was away to dig the canal with the commune laborers, mum let me go. When he came back after a few months, they had a huge argument. He blamed her for letting me go to school.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

What's the point of girls going to school, he shouted. Girls should stay at home and work the fields. But of course, he sent all my brothers to school

After school, it's granny's turn to supervise homework.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

You two should call Little Bean Elder Sister. You should all listen to her. Help each other. Don't quarrel amongst yourselves. And don't fight with others either. All of you should listen to what Little Bean says.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I know, I know. Momma listens to Ma Ming. Ma Ming listens to these two. But all of them should listen to me.

But you have to listen to my elder brother.

After Mao founded new China, he formed people's communes in the countryside and work units in the city. People were encouraged to treat these collectives as their family. People ate from the big porridge pot in communal mess halls. For a period, even household pots and pans were destroyed. Families all but disappeared. Individuals were no longer responsible to their family heads, becoming accountable directly to the state. But since the Deng era, the state has begun withdrawing from these experiments and responsibilities.

The family is once again the basic unit of agricultural production. And as a result, China has experienced a massive rise in productivity.

Here in Fujian in south China, extended families have always been the norm. Many Chinese across the globe originally hailed from this coastal region. It's therefore little wonder that when Deng Xiaoping opened China's economic door, it was these parts that benefited first. Their relatives across the world responded by investing heavily in family businesses.

Jiangnan village, outside Quanzhou houses some 500 people who all share the same surname-- Zhiyang. Zhiyang Fuxiao and his family honor their ancestors at the village's newly restored temple. It was destroyed during the Cultural Revolution, when the practice of worship was condemned, and such practices were labeled spiritual shackles to enslave the people.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

When we reestablished this family temple, our relatives in Indonesia donated over $50,000 US for it. We have over 200 family members in Indonesia. Chinese people have very patriotic hearts, and they never forget their blood connections with China.

The altar has the original Zhiyang ancestors in pride of place surrounded by the tablets on which successive generations are named. The Zhiyangs honor their exalted ancestors-- in these cases, senior court officials who might be expected still to be powerful enough to confer good fortune of the family.

Many Chinese businesses are run within the family. And the Zhiyangs are no exception. One of the brothers runs their cardboard factory with the four sisters in law. Another two brothers run the car parts business. Over the last 20 years, millions have turned from farming to create village industries.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Money's not everything. It's cooperation between brothers that counts. Our sisters in law never fall out. The whole village knows that this is a wonderful, harmonious family that shares everything. We hope our younger generation continues this behavior.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Mr. Zhiyang is the head of his family and the village leader. He's one of four brothers in an extended family that numbers over 30.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

As the eldest brother, I have to take care of everything in the family. Year after year, we've been together. Elder and younger members of the family all have mutual respect for each other. We have a really good reputation.

Qingming, the pure brightness festival in early spring, is specially dedicated to honor deceased family members. Most Chinese know that they have a debt to their parents that can never be discharged during their parents' lifetime and, in fact, extends into death. After all, you owe them your life.

It's the family's duty to clean the ancestors' grave site and to provide for them in the afterlife.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Worshiping our ancestors is very important. We have to remember that they gave us everything we have.

Without these sacrifices, Chinese believe that their ancestors could wander as beggars or hungry ghosts, bringing misfortune to the family.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

The more people that sweep the graves, the cleaner the graves are, and the more respect the ancestors will receive. And the whole family will be prosperous.

It's a new season in Anhui. The wheat is high, and a good harvest is expected. For sons and grandsons, failure to provide an adequate funeral is seen as especially unfilial behavior. The Zheng grandsons check great granny's coffin, prepared and made ready some 30 years ago by her son.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

This coffin is in excellent condition. We don't need to polish it again at all. Now everybody has to be cremated. Grandmother is so frightened that she's going to be burned. What are we going to do? We can only deal with it when we get there.

China's population is aging fast. It has doubled to 1.3 billion in the past 50 years since Chairman Mao took power. He first encouraged people to produce with slogans such as, many people means greater strength. Attempts to reduce the birth rate began in earnest 20 years ago. China had to feed 20% of the planet's population with just 7% of the globe's arable land. China's one child policy was introduced.

Across rural China, no policy is more important. Everywhere one looks, propaganda slogans encourage the almost 1 billion peasants.

At clinics, women report every three months for pregnancy checks. Should your first child be a girl, you must wait four years before trying again for the precious boy. Here, as across much of rural China, men are given compulsory vasectomies after two children. The authorities are firm and rigorous in the policy's implementation.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Birth control is a basic national policy. And in the countryside, we must carry it out strictly.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Traditionally, when a family has many children, it will be considered a family of great strength. Many children and grandchildren mean prosperity and happiness. To be frank, most peasants would like to have two children, one boy and one girl. This would be ideal. Some even want more than two. But if we use propaganda alone to persuade them, it won't work. They will spiral out of control. That's why we need tough punishment. For us, birth control is the toughest job in the world.

If a woman already has two girls, she'll hide away in order to have a third child. She'll leave a message for the officials. Take the ox. Demolish the three rooms. And she won't come back until she's given birth to a son.

But now the policy is very strict. We have checkups every other month. So how can one get pregnant? It's easy to hope, but it's not allowed. How can one manage to give birth to a son. You can still run. But if you run away, they will look up your parents and refuse to feed them. They won't release them if

you don't come back. Of course, you will feel pity for your parents and come home.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

My cousin had her first child. Then she got pregnant again, six months gone. She ran away, and they locked her father up, so she had to come back. They only let him go after she had had an abortion.

In some areas, selective abortion and even female infanticide are known to occur. This has caused a gender imbalance of about 10%. Many young men today will not be able to find a bride.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

So for us at grassroots level, we carry out the one child policy strictly according to government regulations. It's very strict. We're not allowed to do otherwise.

In the early years of the scheme, it wasn't nearly as strict, and peasants learned to work the system.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I have two kids. This one's a boy. We didn't have a permit to have him, so we were fined about $130. It's rather like paying money to buy a son.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I was fined $200 and an acre of land for my son. You'd better study hard so you can earn that money back for me one day.

Xiaohai had bowed to the inevitable. Not to marry has always been seen as undutiful, since the family name would die out without an heir. Always in the back of the Chinese mind are the words of Confucius' greatest follower, Mencius. There is no crime greater than being without an heir.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I'm supposed to get married because I'm over 20. My parents want a daughter-in-law so they can have grandsons. I didn't want to make my parents angry, so I had to accept the girl from the countryside, even if, in my heart, I'm still not thrilled about it. I have to pretend that I'm happy.

In 1950, China abolished what they called the feudal married system, as well as the supremacy of man over woman. The new democratic system was based on free choice of partners and equal rights for both sexes.

[SPEAKING CHINESE] and

But here in Anhui, you wouldn't believe it 50 years on.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

A village is not like a town, where people can meet, talk, and fall in love. In the village, you get married first, and then you start to get close to each other slowly.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Once they get married, it'll be better. Village life is not as confusing as the city. After a while, she will get pregnant. And once there's a child, things will be fine.

The Zheng women have all been through similar arranged marriages.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

As a woman, the most important thing is reputation. It doesn't matter how many arguments and fights she has with her husband, she must never get divorced.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

After a woman is divorced, it'll be very difficult for her to remarry. People will say that no man will want her any longer. She's like worn out shoes or damaged goods. Women will never even think about divorce.

Divorced women have historically found it hard to survive. Very often, their own families won't even take them back.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

She will do everything she can not to be divorced. Once she's divorced, her reputation will be ruined. She might commit suicide by poisoning or hanging herself.

In the city, divorce and the position of women is viewed differently.

[PHONE RINGING]

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Nina Liu is the human resources director for Pepsi foods in China. Nina doesn't exactly embody the meek and mild woman of China's past, merely obedient and gentle in speech. But then Chairman Mao tried to change the position of women, saying that women held up half the sky. She's also somewhat of a novelty, a single mother. Separated from her husband for many years, she's awaiting her own divorce.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

In the past, filial piety was a must. Women had to follow the three obediences and the four virtues. And children had to show their parents filial piety. But now, these things have changed a lot. The ideal family should be happy together. I've got used to living and working alone, but sometimes I feel that my family is not really compete.

Her son, Zhengqing, is in his final year at boarding school.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I start to feel really happy on Friday mornings because Zhengqing comes home in the evening and stays until Sunday evening. These are two special days I can share with my son. It's the happiest time of my week.

Nina has a great passion for Chinese culture and tradition, especially antiques.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Any spare time she has, she uses the hunt for bargains with friends. But her son doesn't share her interests.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

My son's filial to me, but he has his own opinions, which doesn't share with me. I do worry sometimes that he might discard many of the best Chinese traditions. He's a little too much like an American boy for my liking.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Sometimes, I will use my power as a mum to force him to come to the antique market or Peking opera with me. I want him to appreciate Chinese culture. But somehow, I feel that he prefers hamburgers and American fast food, and dislikes traditional Chinese noodles and dumplings.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I'm quite Western amongst those in my generation. I still find things like the antique market and Peking opera quite strange. And I don't want to go to them now. One day when I'm older, I might grow to like them. Perhaps when I'm mum's age, I'll gradually come to appreciate these things.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Personally, I prefer Western to Chinese food, because Western food saves time. I don't have to sit around with a bunch of people and chat. Western food also gives me a sense of freedom, modernity, and independence. I think that China is becoming more and more Western. It's turning itself from an ancient civilization into a modern country.

In the city, the one child policy is well accepted. Many young couples are nowadays choosing not to have children at all.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I love children, but I can only have one, so it's a conflict.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

If the policy changes, and if I were to have a next life, or if I was still young, I would love to have three or four children. Being a mother is great.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

But today's single children are strong individuals. They want to be different from others in whatever they do. In our day, we tried to be the same as each other.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Throughout Chinese history, it's been very difficult to have a strong individuality. But I'm not frightened of being shot if I stick my head out. I don't care. I'll do what I want. I don't care if it's right or wrong.

[CLUB MUSIC]

He's not alone. There's a whole generation of young Chinese like him out there.

Wang Yihao has decided to try a career as a rock and roll musician.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

My son has a very strong personality. He doesn't listen to us. Once he's made up his mind, it's no use trying to change it. He'd rather bash his head against the wall until it bleeds.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Chinese society has always wanted people to be alike. There's a saying, shoot the bird which sticks its head out. When someone has different opinions or ideas, he's bound to have all kinds of obstacles in his way.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

We're really worried about his future. We've got this only child, and it wasn't easy bringing him up. We've given him everything he needed. If this is what's called an individual personality, I prefer he had no individuality.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I think in this society, if you're a person with horns on your head, it's very painful to polish those off. But in this society, many people with horns have had them polished off, very painfully polished off.

[SINGING IN CHINESE]

At the local club, Wang Yihao hangs out with musician friends Kika and Koko.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

You're 10 years older than me and still nobody wants to marry you.

Why should I find someone to marry me?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Getting married to not is not what's important. I think marriage is like happiness. It'll come by itself. If it doesn't come, being single doesn't really matter. I think the most important thing is to live life to the full. I've never felt that I should get married or only have sex after marriage. My parents have never accepted me having sex before marriage.

[SINGING]

Having dropped out of school and run away at 17, Kika spent seven years in the underworld of Shenzhen in south China. She's seen and experienced life in the raw.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I grew up on my own on the streets. The process of growing up has been tough, full of suffering.

She became seriously hooked on heroin. She was found by her parents. They sent her to a rehabilitation clinic. But old habits die hard.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

When I was addicted for the second time, my father gave me an option. To choose heroin or him. He said that if I chose heroin, he'd get me all I needed, but he would cut me off from the family. It was a gamble for him. He gambled on whether or not he understood me. I was very moved. Of course, I told him, I want you. But to be honest, I was actually craving for heroin. I didn't want to give it up. But I told him, I want you. You're my dad.

[SINGING IN CHINESE]

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I'm worried about him, mostly about drugs, gambling, and sex. It's very serious in Shanghai.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

If I'd known that he would get into rock and roll, I wouldn't have bought him the guitar in America. If I tell my friends that my son is now red-haired and a roll and roll singer singing in bars, older people will think, what? He sings in bars? Such rotten places. It's not fit for decent people.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

We're so worried about him. As parents, nobody knows how much we worry. We worry that he's getting involved in bad things, taking drugs.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Thinking about the lives of rock and roll musicians, I'm really worried.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I don't care what they think. I don't want to be part of the system. I want to have my own ideas and do what I want to do.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I've suffered a lot bringing him up.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I told him, if you don't have a good life, I'll die with unclosed eyes. I only have this child. I put my whole life into him. We have such great hopes for him.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

If I do whatever they like, and I'm completely obedient to them, I'm merely a slave. I'm not a son. I'll cease being an individual anymore. I can't be bothered what they think about me.

Ah, damn it.

Have today's self-obsessed only children begun the destruction of the filial family? How will this generation of individuals fit into the Confucian net of family and social obligations? Care of the aged has always been the responsibility of the family. These children are facing huge burdens. They will have to support two parents and four grandparents. This is called the one two four trap. Can they shoulder this inverted pyramid without the safety net that the state used to provide?

Three hours drive west of Shanghai in Nanxun, there is a new phenomenon in China, the private old age home. Until now, the socialist state has always housed the aged who have no children. Shen Baowen and his wife have lived here for two years.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

The Chinese always like living with their children. When my children left to join the Army, at the bottom of our hearts, we didn't want to let them go. But because it was for the country's benefit, we supported them. We love our children. Of course we wish they lived nearer to us.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

The Shens' five children are scattered across the country. They found it impossible to house their

parents as duty dictates. So they've clubbed together to install them in the home.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

The facilities and services here are not that bad, but first I couldn't even imagine my parents here. I feel so guilty. They have five children and yet still end up in this old age home. It's really difficult to accept.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Four generations living under one roof would be ideal, but it's not possible for us.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I feel guilty sometimes. I feel ashamed. On the other hand, I think if I make a success of my job, my parents will be happy. But I have mixed feelings about it all.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Now we're old. We're lonely. When we're ill, we miss our children and wish they were around. At least we have each other. She takes care of me, and I take care her. There are some lonely old people. Life is tougher for them. But that's life.

It's spring festival, a time when Chinese families traditionally come together. People travel the length and breadth of China to join in the celebrations. All over China, the equivalent of Christmas decorations are out in force.

For the Zheng family, it's the high point of a busy year. Elaborate preparations have been under way to several weeks. They follow the traditions year in year out, unchanging.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

When we father together for festive occasions like this, we remember our ancestors and the good examples they've left us. We burn incense and pray for peace, security, and harmony, as well as a prosperous business. Burning paper money is like burning banknotes. The more you burn, the more you give to the gods, the more they'll protect you. Then business will be secure. When your business is doing well, you burn still more paper money to the gods. If your business is slack, it might be because you didn't burn enough, or that you were not sincere.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

There's something quite special about living in a big family together, harmoniously. It's quite rare these days.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Over 30 family members living together and eating together. We never differentiate what is theirs or ours. A big family is best. We can't let this disappear, because our deep-rooted Chinese tradition is everything to us.

As China marches into the new century, the Chinese family is facing huge challenges. The stability of the Chinese state has always been based on the family. Can the slow pace of harmonious, traditional family adapt to the speed modern life dictates? Can the young onlies build a future that will support all their elders? The answers to these questions will decide in part how successfully China makes its transition into a modern society.

In Anhui, it's a time of mixed emotions. Great granny Zheng has died. Knowing of her terror of being cremated, her family has hastily buried her in secret.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Mum, I've come to weed your grave. I've come to say hello. It's me. Mum and dad, can you here me? When you died, mum, we didn't do enough. We didn't give you a proper send off or funeral.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

We all feel so ashamed. As children, we feel we've let you down, mum.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Oh, mum. I'm so sorry. I feel I've really let you down.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Xiaohai finally ties the knot. His three cousins witness the deed. A circle has been closed.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Why did I agree to the marriage? Because I'm a filial son. I didn't want to make my parents worried and angry. If I didn't marry this girl, I would have faced unhappy parents night and day. I wanted to be

with that town girl, but my parents said no.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Being with this peasant girl has made my parents happy, but not me. I didn't have a choice. To make them content, I had to get married, for good or for bad.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

I think that filial obedience is more important than my own feelings. This is duty, and I can't escape it.

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

At this wedding, I am the only one who is not happy. But it doesn't really matter. The whole family is happy, so my personal feelings are as nothing.

[MUSIC PLAYING]