Critical Analysis

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Marriages, Families, & Intimate Relationships: A Practical Introduction

Fourth Edition Williams | Sawyer | Wahlstrom

Chapter 8

Marriage

The Ultimate Commitment?

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Learning Objectives (1 of 2)

8.1 Identify and discuss good and bad reasons for getting married.

8.2 Summarize the four phases a marriage typically goes through and the adjustment a family may need to make.

Learning Objectives (2 of 2)

8.3 Discuss good and enduring marriages with specific illustrations of each.

8.4 List and discuss characteristics of successful marriages.

Why Do People Marry?

8.1 Identify and discuss good and bad reasons for getting married.

Marriage

A legal union between two people that unites partners sexually, socially, and economically

Relatively consistent over time

Accords each member certain agreed-upon rights

Marriage: Going Out of Style?

Projected that 80% of Americans will marry sometime in their lives

Down from 95% in the 1950s and 1960s

In 2013, the marriage rate was at 50.3%, a historic low.

Why Individuals Get Married (1 of 3)

Marriage is a legal union between two people that unites partners sexually, socially, and economically; is relatively consistent over time; and accords each member certain agreed-upon rights.

The principal reason people get married is because they are "in love."

Panel 8.1 Why People Say They Marry.

Source: Adapted from Patterson and Kim 1991.

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Why Individuals Get Married (2 of 3)

Marriage for the Right Reasons

Emotional Security

"I want to fill an emptiness within myself."

Companionship

"I want to love and be loved by someone else"; another way of saying "I want to avoid being alone."

Desire to Be a Parent

"I want to have and raise children."

Why Individuals Get Married (3 of 3)

Marriage for the Wrong Reasons

Physical Attractiveness or Economic Security

Pressure from Parents, Peers, Partners—or Pregnancy

Escape, Rebellion, Rebound, or Rescue

The Green-Card Fraudulent Marriage

An American marries (or pretends to marry), usually in exchange for money, an immigrant for the purpose of giving them a green card that grants permanent U.S. residency.

Happiness, Marriage, & Race: the Interracial Experience (1 of 2)

Interracial Marriage: The Background

Banned in the late 1600s

Miscegenation

Marriage or cohabitation between a white person and a person of another race

1967 Loving v. Virginia ruled anti-miscegenation law in 16 states unconstitutional.

Alabama was the last state to strike interracial marriage laws in 2000.

Happiness, Marriage, & Race: the Interracial Experience (2 of 2)

Tolerance & Acceptance: Improved, but Could Be Better

Acceptance of mixed-race couples is more likely to be found in black families.

In 2010, more than a third of the population said an immediate family member or close relative was actually married to someone of a different race.

The Expectations People Have for Marriage (1 of 4)

Marriage as Rite of Passage

Engagement

The marriage proposal

The engagement ring

Bridal showers and bachelor parties

The marriage license and wedding venue

The Wedding

Honeymoon

The Expectations People Have for Marriage (2 of 4)

Marriage in Expectation of Sexual Exclusivity & of Permanence

Sexual exclusivity is "forsaking all others."

Each partner promises only to have sexual relations only with the other.

Permanence is "so long as we both shall live."

Partners promise to stay together lifelong.

The Expectations People Have for Marriage (3 of 4)

Marriage as a Legal Commitment

The Covenant Marriage Contract

An antidivorce contract in which couples:

Get premarital counseling

Get marital counseling in times of marital difficulties

Agree not to divorce until after a separation of two years or after proving adultery or domestic abuse

The Expectations People Have for Marriage (4 of 4)

Marriage as a Legal Commitment

The Prenuptial Agreement

Contract signed by the couple before the wedding that specifies how property would be divided and children cared for in the event of divorce or death of one of the partners

The Postnuptial Agreement

Same as a prenuptial agreement but it is worked out by partners who are already married to each other

Panel 8.2 Possible Items in a Prenuptial Agreement.

A list of each person's assets, debts, and income.

What happens to assets if there is divorce or death.

Who are beneficiaries of pensions and retirement accounts.

Whether there will be a property settlement or alimony or spousal support.

Source: Adapted from Dubin 2001b.

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Changes in the Family Life Cycle: Scenes from a Marriage

8.2 Summarize the four phases a marriage typically goes through and the adjustment a family may need to make.

Family life cycle

Members' roles and relationships change based on how they have to adapt themselves to the absence or presence of childrearing responsibilities.

1. Beginning Phase: Greatest Marital Satisfaction?

"Identity Bargaining"

Realities of the marriage oblige spouses to adjust their idealized expectations of each other.

Loss of Independence

New Friends & Relatives

Career & Domestic Roles

2. Child-Rearing Phase: Less Marital Satisfaction? (1 of 2)

Stages of Child Rearing

Childbearing Family—Lasts about 2-1/2 Years

Family with Preschoolers—Lasts about 3-1/2 Years

Family with School Children—Lasts about 7 Years

Family with Adolescents—Lasts about 7 Years

Family as Launching Center—Lasts about 8 Years

2. Child-Rearing Phase: Less Marital Satisfaction? (2 of 2)

Changes during the Child-Rearing Years

Work and Other Responsibilities

Domestic Responsibilities

Sexual Changes

3. Middle-Age Phase: More Marital Satisfaction?

Improved Marital Satisfaction

Empty-nest syndrome

Feeling of depression after children have moved out

Lack of Marital Satisfaction

If adult child returns home more than 3 times

If child returns to a household in which the parents are remarried

If the parents are in poor health

4. Aging Phase

Factors to think about in the aging phase are:

Retirement

Caregiving responsibilities

Change in interactions between the couple

One spouse outliving the other

Different Kinds of Marriage Relationships

8.3 Discuss good and enduring marriages with specific illustrations of each.

Enduring marriages studied by Cuber and Haroff

"Good marriages" studied by Wallerstein and Blakeslee

1. Five Types of Enduring Marriages: Cuber & Harroff's Research (1 of 2)

Utilitarian Marriages: Three Types of Unions Based on Convenience

Conflict-Habituated Marriages

Characterized by ongoing tension and unresolved conflict

Devitalized Marriages

Partners have lost strong emotional connection but stay together out of duty.

Passive-Congenial Marriages

Couple always focuses on activities rather than emotional intimacy.

1. Five Types of Enduring Marriages: Cuber & Harroff's Research (2 of 2)

Intrinsic Marriages: Two Types of Inherently Rewarding Unions

Vital Marriages

Partners are intensely bound together psychologically and participate in each other's lives in many areas.

Total Marriages

Partners are intensely bound together psychologically but participate in each other's lives in all, not just some, areas and have very few areas of tension or conflict.

2. Four Types of "Good Marriages" & their Built-In "Antimarriages": Wallerstein & Blakeslee's Research

Four types of "good marriages"

Romantic

Ideas of "destiny," "ever after," passion, and sex

Rescue

Healing; provides comfort for past suffering and unhappiness

Companionate

Equality and friendship

Traditional

Husband is the earner, wife is the homemaker.

What Can We Conclude?

Nonrepresentative samples

None of the classifications reflect the North American population at large.

Diverse marital relationships

These studies do not point to one kind being necessarily better than another.

No pointers for happy marriage

What Makes for a Successful Marriage?

8.4 List and discuss characteristics of successful marriages.

Marital quality

Measured in terms of stability, happiness, and flexibility

Good Marriages: What the Research Shows (1 of 4)

Top factors that people consider "very important" to a successful marriage are:

Faithfulness

Happy sexual relationship

Sharing household chores

Adequate income

Good housing

Panel 8.3 What Makes a Marriage Work? Percent saying each is very important for a successful marriage: 1990 answers compared with 2007 answers. Children have fallen to eighth place in 2007 from third place in 1990. Sharing chores has assumed much more importance in 2007.

Source: Pew Research Center 2007; World Values Survey 1990.

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Good Marriages: What the Research Shows (2 of 4)

Similar Backgrounds: Homogamy

Partners of similar education, ethnicity, race, religion, age, and social class

Commonalities: Similar Characteristics & Interests

Similar temperaments

Shared interests

Strong family ties on both sides

Similar views on children

Good Marriages: What the Research Shows (3 of 4)

Economic Status, Work, & Two-Paycheck Couples

Negatives

Resentment, frustration, high demands

Positives

Income

Good Marriages: What the Research Shows (4 of 4)

Domestic Work & Child Care: The Importance of Equity & Equality

Equity refers to partners giving in proportion to what they receive; equality means fully equal status and responsibility.

Assignment of Responsibilities

Agreement on Schedule

Setting of Standards

Your Personal Journey to Marriage Success (1 of 2)

Commitment

Acceptance & Caring

Flexibility

Static

Doesn't change over time, doesn't allow for change, and relies on the fact that legal marriage bond enforces sexual exclusivity and permanence

Flexible

Allow partners to change and grow over time

Your Personal Journey to Marriage Success (2 of 2)

Self-expansion

Assumes individuals form relationships to accumulate knowledge and experiences in order to facilitate their own growth

Vow Renewals & Personal Marriage Agreements

Vow Renewals

Personal Marriage Agreements

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Panel 8.4 Views on Marriage: Three Sociological Theoretical Perspectives Compared.

Structural-Functional (Macro Orientation)	Conflict (Macro Orientation)	Symbolic Interaction (Micro Orientation)
• Marriage helps maintain stability in society through manifest functions of sexual regulation and legitimacy of having children. • Marriage is viewed as a means of providing economic and emotional support for spouses, as well as for offspring. • Families of divorce and single-parent families are viewed as instances of family deterioration. • Clearly defined sex/gender roles (instrumental and expressive) lend stability to marriage.	• Traditional marriage and rigid sex/gender roles hinder potential for both males and females, exploit females, and result in stress for women (second shift) and men. • Changing nature of marriage (divorce, same-sex marriage, and contract marriage) reflects the adaptation of marriage to social pressures (economics, technology, social movements) and the need to legitimize other types of marriage. • Traditional marriage is a source of social inequality and results in conflict over scarce resources and power.	• Through social interaction, people create the definition of marriage, ranging from traditional male–female unions to same-sex unions. • They expect marriage to be a lifetime commitment or at least a form of socially acceptable serial monogamy. • People's personal experiences from their families of origin affect their views on the type of marriage they desire, even if they don't choose to wed.