English Midterm Assignment

The Importance of Listening

7.1 Identify six reasons why listening is important.

You might not understand why it is important to learn about listening. After all, it seems rather automatic, something we don't think about often. As this section shows, improving our listening skills can lead to many personal and professional benefits.

The first important reason for learning more about listening is that we spend so much time doing it! Listening is the primary communication activity for college students (Janusik & Wolvin, 2009), and experts estimate that they spend 55 percent of their total average communication day listening. About half that time is spent in interpersonal listening (class, face-to-face conversations, phone, listening to voice messages) and the other half in media listening (Emanuel et al., 2008). In fact, media listening, in the broadest sense, encompasses a variety of online activities, including social media such as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Iwitter, which provide a steady stream of messages Perrin & Anderson, 2019).

Second, having better listening skills can improve your memory, give you a broader knowledge base, and increase your attention span Pasupathi & Billitteri, 2015). The brain is like any other muscle; you have to use it to improve it. The more you exercise it, the better you'll be able to process and remember information. The first step in exercising the brain is to pay better attention when others are speaking. You can t remember something if you never learned it, and you can't learn something —that is, encode it into your brain —if you don't pay enough attention to it.

A third, related reason to learn more about listening is that good listening skills can enhance academic performance. Not surprisingly, a number of research studies have shown that college students who have good listening skills are better students than those who are less effective listeners Ferrari-Bridgers et al., 2017a). Recent research shows that one of the most important outcomes of classes on listening is that students become more aware of what constitutes good listening (Ferrari-Bridgers et al., 2017b). Although this indicates that a college course can help you identify the skills needed to be a good listener, you may need a lot of practice and attention to skill building on your own to become an effective listener. This is what Charee, in the opening vignette, realized.

Better listening is also linked to enhanced personal relationships —a fourth reason to learn more about listening. In earlier chapters, we have discussed how effective communication skills can lead to enhanced personal relationships. This is also true for listening skills. It's easy to understand how better listening can lead to fewer misunderstandings, which in turn can lead to greater satisfaction, happiness, and a sense of well-being for us and those we care about (Floyd, 2014; Manusov et al., 2020).

A fifth reason to improve listening skills is because leaders in many professions have long emphasized that effective listening is a highly desirable workplace skill; in fact, listening is

"extremely important to almost all jobs that require an employee to work in hierarchical teams or to serve customers" (Carnevale, 2013, p. 8), from physicians and nurses (Shafran-Tikva & Kluger, 2018) and social workers but also beauticians (Hanson, 2019), engineering and math professionals (Ferrari-Bridgers et al., 2017a), and many others. This is especially important given that several business studies report that recent undergraduate students tend to lack the effective communication skills to survive in twenty-first-century jobs (Ramos Salazar, 2017). Poor listening skills can be costly; the consequences include wasted meeting time; inaccurate orders/shipments; lost sales; inadequately informed, misinformed, confused, or angry staff and customers; unmet deadlines; unsolved problems; wrong decisions; lawsuits; and poor employee morale (Battell, 2006). In contrast, people with good listening skills are perceived to be more trustworthy, which is important to a variety of work relationships, including physician-patient, salesperson-customer, and supervisor employee (Lloyd et al., 2015). People who are perceived to be good listeners in work settings are likely to be perceived as having leadership qualities (Kluger & Zaidel, 2013), and listening seems to play an interesting role in career advancement as well. One study showed that as workers move into management positions, listening skills become more important (Welch & Mickelson, 2013), particularly listening that involves close attention to the verbal and nonverbal aspects to the message. As more and more organizations expand internationally, managers and nonmanagers find that listening plays an even more important role in their intercultural interactions. As we discuss later in the chapter, effective listening behaviors may vary from culture to culture, and individuals need to understand the influence of culture on listening patterns (Roebuck et al., 2016).

Finally, good listening can actually lead to improved physical health. Some studies show that when we listen attentively, heart rate and oxygen consumption are reduced, which leads to increased blood and oxygen to the brain —a healthy cardiovascular condition (Diamond, 2007). Psychologists and spiritual leaders point out that listening well is critical to our collective emotional health, especially during a pandemic when many people are frightened, sad, grieving, or angry, and need attentive and supportive listeners (Klein, 2020). We'll discuss these strategies later in the chapter.

Now that we've discussed the importance of learning about listening, the next section describes the process of listening, which shows that listening is much more than just hearing what others are saying.

What Is Listening? Four Stages

7.2 Describe the four stages of listening.

The first step in striving to improve listening skills is to understand exactly what we mean when we talk about listening. Thus, we first provide a definition and then describe the process of listening.

Although there are various definitions for listening, the one we'll use is provided by the International Listening Association. Listening is "the process of receiving, constructing meaning

from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages" (International Listening Association, 1995, p. 4; Wolvin, 2013, p. 104). As you can see, this definition includes the concept described in Chapter 1 as the decoding phase of the communication process. While most people think of listening as a holistic activity (Lipetz et al., 2020), it is useful to consider it in four stages: hearing, understanding, evaluating, and responding (Rosenfeld & Berko, 1990).

Let's see how this might work. Hearing occurs when listeners pick up the sound waves directed toward them. Suppose you're sitting in your apartment deep into Instagram and you hear sounds in the kitchen; it's your roommate, Makeva, returning from her part-time job as a delivery driver. She yells out, "Guess what happened at work today." For communication to occur, you must first become aware that information is being directed at you. In other words, you have to hear the sounds. But, of course, hearing something is not the same as understanding or evaluating the information — the next steps. This means that hearing is not the same as listening. Hearing is really only the first step.

Once you sense that sounds are occurring, you have to interpret the messages associated with the sounds —that is, you have to understand what the sounds mean. The meaning you assign affects how you will respond —both physiologically and communicatively. In the example of your roommate, Makeva, you understand her words — she's asking you to guess what happened to her at work that day.

After you understand (or at least believe you understand) the message you have received, you evaluate the information. When you evaluate a message, you assess your reaction to it. For example, what do you think Makeva is really asking you? Did something incredibly important happen to her at work? Or does she ask you this every time she returns from work, so you know it doesn't matter what you answer because she is going to tell you some long, drawn-out story about people to whom she delivers who you don't know? Or is she trying to engage you in conversation because you have both been busy and haven't seen each other much lately? As you can see, critical thinking skills are important in evaluating what you have heard —what are the possible interpretations of the message sent? What are the logical interpretations?

Finally, you respond to messages. Maybe you decide that you really want to hear what Makeva's going to tell you or at least want to have a conversation with her and you tell her so - "No, I can't imagine what happened at work today. Tell me!" Your response provides the most significant evidence to others that you are listening. Responding means that you show others how you regard their messages. For example, you could have responded to Makeva in a sarcastic tone, letting her know that you'll listen but you're not really interested; or you could have just said "hmmm," telling her you don't even want to engage in a conversation. Even failing to respond is a type of response! Not answering a text message or not replying to a tweet or not responding to (liking) a good friend's TikTok video is a response of sort. You can respond in numerous ways; however, your response will be influenced by how you listen.

In his recent book on communication tips If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?), actor Alan Alda encourages readers to respond in conversations based on what they see in another person's behavior. He explains that this type of listening is "responsive listening. [because] real conversation can't happen if listening is just my waiting for you to finish talking" (p. 10). In other words, he is encouraging readers to be active, rather than passive, listeners, actively focusing on the speaker and ignoring all distractions.

In addition to these phases of listening, we need to recognize that the total process of listening as a communication process is complex, involving motivations (we have to want to listen), cognitions, emotions, and behaviors (Bodie et al., 2008). In addition, some communication experts expand the definition of listening to include lurking -following tweets and Instagram and Facebook posts without responding (see Alternative View: Lurkers as Listeners).

Alternative View

Lurkers as Listeners

Some listening experts think we should broaden our definition of listening, suggesting that just by attending to the many new messages we see each day—streaming TikTok videos, seeing Facebook and Instagram posts, following tweets —we are listening, even if we just "lurk" and don't respond. However, there are varying viewpoints about the merits of this type of listening.

On the one hand, some TikTok users clearly express hostility toward lurking listeners (https://www.tiktok.com/tag/lurkers?lang=en), especially directed at exes or "stalkers" (e.g., "kill the b*** that's lurking," "to the girls lurking for my ex, tell him I'm doin great"). And some research suggests that lurking, especially for adolescents with "peer problems," can have negative psychological effects, including depression (Underwood & Ehrenreich, 2017). Also, there is evidence that regular exposure to the "very bad, hateful, awful things" one encounters while lurking is bad for the brain (Lange, 2018).

However, others see it more positively. Writer Joanne McNeil (2020) sees online space as a library, "a civic and independent body" where "everyone is welcome... just for being." And lurking then can be an act like reading, for work or research or general curiosity.

In this view, lurker listeners have an important role, as every public forum needs listeners as well as speakers; every publishing platform needs readers as well as writers. Lurking listeners are necessary to provoke the senders to keep speaking. And anonymity is part of the deal—we can publish our opinions, photos, and texts without knowing exactly who will see them "and that's part of what makes publishing online a hopeful experience" (Lange, 2018).

SOURCES: Lange, J. (2018). Let us lurk. theweek.com. https://theweek.com/articles/804466/let-lurk

McNeil, J. (2020). Lurking: How a person became a user. MCD.

Underwood, M. K., & Ehrenreich, S. E. (2017). The power and the pain of adolescents' digital communication: Cyber victimization and the perils of lurking. The American Psychologist, 72(2), 144-158.

Listening and the Individual: Influences and Barriers

7.3 Describe the influences on listening and barriers to effective listening.

Do you have any friends who are especially good listeners? Any who are not so good? Do you find it easier to listen in some situations than in others?

Although some studies have identified general listening skills (see Communication in Society: The "Big Five" of Listening Competency), there are many factors that influence whether listening in any particular situation is easier or more difficult. In this section, we describe some of these factors, including individual listening styles and individual characteristics such as gender, age, and nationality. Finally, we discuss physical and psychological barriers to listening.

Communication in Society

The "Big Five" of Listening Competency

An online questionnaire asked 1,319 students to describe what it means to be an effective listener. The results revealed the following top or "Big Five" dimensions of effective listening.

Notice how each of these dimensions is associated with the phases of listening (hearing, sensing, and so on). Are there other skills that you would add?

1. Openness or willingness to listen 2. Ability to read nonverbal cues 3. Ability to understand verbal cues 4. Ability to respond appropriately 5. Ability to remember relevant details

Although these skills are important and confirm findings from previous studies, the authors of the study note that other factors, such as age, maturity, and personal experiences, influence an individual's listening competence. In addition, they note that the study design did not address the influence of context or interpersonal relationship.

SOURCE: Cooper, L. O., & Buchanan, T. (2010). Listening competency on campus: A psychometric analysis of student listening. International Journal of Listening, 24(3), 141-163.

The Individual, Listening, and Society: Hierarchy, Contexts, and Community

7.4 Understand the role of societal forces (hierarchy, contexts, and community) in listening.

As emphasized throughout this book, Communication behaviors do not exist solely on the individual level but are a complex interaction of individual and societal factors, reflected in our Synergetic Model of Communication. Let's examine listening as it's affected by three levels of societal forces: social hierarchy, context, and community.

Ethics and Listening

7.5 Describe ethical challenges in listening.

People have several ethical decisions to make about listening. These decisions include choosing what you will listen to and when, as well as how you will respond when listening to other people or to the soundscapes that surround you.

To begin, choosing to listen or not is an ethical decision, in both face-to-face and mediated communication contexts (Beard, 2009; Lacey, 2013). Just because someone wants to tell you something doesn't mean you have to listen. And sometimes the act of listening —or refusing to — means taking a moral stand. For example, let's say a friend of yours tweets a vicious rumor about another person or tells a racist joke. You have an ethical decision to make. How are you going to respond? Are you going to retweet it? Ignore it?

You can tell your friend you don't want to hear any more or even gently explain why you don't want to. Or you can do nothing, sacrificing honesty to avoid making yourself (and others) feel uncomfortable. What are the consequences of each of these decisions? If you listen to something offensive and pass it on, you are in effect agreeing with the tweet. It may be awkward to tell your friend (either at the moment or later) that you don't want to listen to such remarks, but the friend may think twice before sending similar tweets in the future. Obviously, there are no easy answers; you need to consider the consequences and possible outcomes in each situation as you make these ethical decisions.

Let's say you overhear some information or see a text message not intended for you. What are some guidelines for dealing with this information? As we suggested in Chapter 1, You might first consider the expectations of the individual who sent the message. Perhaps this person has made it clear that they want this information kept private. Or you might consider that if you were in this person's position, you would want the information to be kept private. Or perhaps you

know that the sender does not mind if the information is shared more widely —but what about the person to whom the message is addressed? You need to consider their wishes, too. Depending on the privacy expectation, the ethical decision might be to listen to or read the message —or not. Would the sender or addressee feel harmed? Would any benefit result from your listening to the message? The answer to these questions probably depends a great deal on your relationships with the sender and addressee. A close friend may not mind your listening in on messages; someone you don't know very well may object strenuously.

Mediated communication contexts also can pose ethical issues with regard to listening. Communication expert Kate Lacey says we need a special set of listening skills to help us cope with this barrage of messages and to be selective in our listening choices; we train in "public speaking," but not "public listening" (2013, p. 190). She notes that, on the one hand, we have an ethical responsibility to "grant right of audience" to those who would otherwise not be heard because they present opportunities to expand our horizons, as we noted in those who encourage White people to listen to voices previously unheard on social justice issues and solutions (Wilson, 2020), and of course we need to balance openness with critical thinking. On the other hand, much of our social media listening is increasingly narrowed — device settings/apps that program what we hear (music, talk, TV, newsites) to our idiosyncratic preferences (Gottfried & Shearer, 2016). How to counter this narrowed exposure to listening opportunities? Some companies have tried some strategies: Facebook modified the algorithm of the "Trending" page so users would see more news sources on a specific topic; BuzzFeed News has "Outside Your Bubble," a module showing various reactions/comments at the bottom of social media articles. And some communication scholars say that the echo chamber is a bit overstated, that yes, if one only consumes news from social media, one is likely to encounter those with similar ideas, but in a complex, multimedia environment — which is the way people live now because of the Internet -you don't find that, you find people consuming a lot of media (Dubois & Grant, 2018).

Here are some choices we make, as listeners, to become more or less ethical beings, in our mediated world:

1. The choice to cut ourselves off from listening to our immediate environments. As Charee discussed in the chapter opening, we can choose to listen alone (putting on the headset/earbuds), which sometimes might be a positive, self-constructive act. At other times, however (e.g., in a work situation or at home when our relational partner wants to talk), doing so can be isolating and damaging to relationships. 2. The choice to listen selectively. For example, we can choose to listen to media "candy" or to media that enhance and inspire us as people. We can choose to listen to a friend's choice of media, so we can discuss it together, or we can listen only to our own choices. 3. The choice not to listen. For example, in the public arena, we can decide to listen (or not listen) to a political speaker who espouses ideas we oppose. Our choice has a potential impact on us and our thinking because listening implies the possibility of change in attitudes and

behavior. Listening to a political speaker (or even a friend) promoting ideas and beliefs that we disagree with may open us up to ideas previously unexplored or may reinforce our own beliefs. Choosing never to listen to opposing views ensures that we won't alter our beliefs or learn to defend them in a logical and constructive way. 4. The choice to listen together. For example, when we attend a music concert or a political rally, we open ourselves to being part of a community of music fans or political sympathizers (Beard, 2009). The consequences of the decision to listen with a particular community may open up opportunities for new experiences that may alter our future thinking or behavior.

What Would You Do?

Ethical Listening

What Would You Do? Ethical Listening

You have just started a job at a new company. You are a recent college graduate who moved to a new city, so you’re eager to make friends and start off on the right foot. After a few weeks at work, you begin getting to know your co-workers and managers.

In the following scenarios, review how you would respond to various ethical dilemmas that may occur in the workplace.

Scenario 1

Your deskmate needs help coming up with a creative tweet to promote an upcoming event your company is hosting. She wants your opinion on the tweet, so she shows it to you. You are stunned. It relates to the event, but it’s wildly inappropriate for the workplace - and it contains racist language. You know your company would get in big trouble if she sent this tweet out.

At the same time, you really like this co-worker. You think she's generally funny, and see that most social outings are coordinated by her. You want to be her friend, but honestly, you’re pretty offended by the tweet.

What do you do?

Pick from one of the options below:

• Be honest. Tell her the tweet is offensive.

• Speak broadly. Tell her it's funny, but she should consider revising it.

• Lie. Tell her the tweet is funny.

Be honest. Tell her the tweet is offensive.

You decide honesty is the best policy. You explain your co-worker that her tweet is insensitive, and it's likely to get both her - and the company - in trouble. You recommend she revises the tweet before moving forward.

In response, she seems indifferent. She brushes your suggestion off, thanking you for the advice, but stressing that she thinks it's funny and she's going to tweet it anyway.

Speak broadly. Tell her it's funny, but she should consider revising it.

You don't want to be too abrasive, so you laugh when she shows it to you. You say that if she had tweeted it from her personal account, it may be funnier than if she tweeted it from the company's account. You lightly recommend she revise the tweet, but stress that you think she has a great sense of humor.

She thanks you for being honest, and revises the tweet slightly - just not the offensive part.

Lie. Tell her the tweet is funny.

You're new and you don't want to cause a ruckus among your co-workers. You lie and tell her the tweet is funny, despite the fact that you know it is not.

She agrees - she thinks she's funny. She shares the tweet with more co-workers, adding that you think it's funny, and moves ahead with sharing it from the company Twitter.

Scenario 2

The company's executives caught wind of the tweet before it was sent, and they are furious. Your deskmate is called into the vice-president's office and she is reprimanded accordingly. Moreover, your entire department now has to undergo extra sensitivity training because of your co-worker's actions.

Your deskmate returns to her desk in a huff and begins unloading on the executive team, explaining how they are unqualified for their jobs, they are too sensitive, and they don't understand real humor. You disagree entirely. You think the response was justified, the executives made the right call, and you're not entirely sure your deskmate understands real humor.

You don't want to be associated with an employee who acts so unprofessionally, but you do want to salvage some kind of friendship.

How do you respond?

Pick from one of the options below:

• You politely tell her you do not want to be involved.

• You listen for a bit, then lie and say you're too busy to listen.

• You listen actively and allow her to openly vent.

You politely tell her you do not want to be involved.

As she begins her rant against the executives, you politely stop her. You explain that you understand she is frustrated, but this is not a situation you’re re entirely comfortable with, and you'd prefer not to be involved at all.

She does not understand your response and assumes you side with the executives. She storms away in a huff, accusing you of also being too sensitive, and grabs coffee with a few other co-workers.

You listen for a bit, then lie and say you're too busy to listen.

You don't want to be rude, but you definitely don't want to be involved in this workplace drama. You let her vent for a bit, then tell her you really have to get back to work. She understands, thanks you for listening, and tells you that you will continue the conversation later.

You start thinking of lies you can make to get out of that conversation, too.

You listen actively and allow her to openly vent.

You understand that workers vent about their bosses, so surely the executives realize that your co-worker needs to let off some steam, right?

You listen to your co-worker tear the executives a new one. You nod enthusiastically, give some supportive "mmhmms," and even agree during her most viscous attacks.

You are not, however, the only person listening. At the end of her rant, your manager enters your deskspace and explains that you will both be meeting with the HR department separately later that day.

Scenario 3

Despite your best efforts, you get the impression that your deskmate does not like you. It has been two weeks since the Twitter incident. Recently, your deskmate has been particularly short with you, she's inviting everyone but you to after-work events, and you notice she starts vigorously G-chatting once you enter the room.

She generally turns her screen off when she leaves the area, but today, she's left her chat window open. You're not sure if she's gone to a meeting, the restroom, or for a walk, but you are sure she's been sending nasty messages about you to your co-workers.

Now's your chance. You're morbidly curious. Do you read her G-chats?

Pick from one of the options below:

• Yes.

• No.

Yes.

The temptation is too grand. You quickly swivel to her computer and read a few of her G-chats. Much to your surprise, you are not mentioned in a single chat. You find out she has been going through a terrible break-up and having a hard time focusing at work. She apologizes to several people on chat about her recent behavior, and thanks them for supporting her through this tough time.

She walks back in the room right and catches you mouse-handed. You have no excuse, and apologize profusely.

She may not have been G-chatting about you before, but you're more than certain she's G-chatting about you now.

No.

At the end of the day, she's just your co-worker. If she's chatting about you, that's her business. You're starting to make friends in the office, so even if you can't be friends with this girl, you can find those friendships elsewhere.

When she returns, you can tell she's been crying. You find out she recently went through a tough break-up and has been fighting with her ex on G-chat for days. She apologies for being so short with you recently and asks if you'll go grab coffee with her.

Summary

There is no correct way to listen ethically. Every choice you make has consequences, so it's a delicate act of balancing the pros and cons of your decision.

Compare your answers with a classmate. Did he or she respond the same way you did? Which scenario was the toughest to answer? Have you experienced any of these situations in real life?

The point is that all these choices are just that-choices. Although we don't usually consider these types of choices when we think of listening, the decisions we make regarding them do influence our communication life - influencing our communication identity and relationships with those important to us.

Improving Your Listening Skills

7.6 Discuss two ways to improve your own listening behavior.

As we have shown in this chapter, listening (including responding appropriately) is an important communication skill. As is the case with all communication skills, however, there are no surefire, easy recipes for becoming a more effective listener. Still, two guidelines might help you improve.